How Can the 16 Personalities Be MORE ATTRACTIVE?

[@FrankJames]

Watch "What Type is the BESTIE of Each of the 16 Personalities?" next 👉 infj.me/3XrZg8z

[@oldnickdeadpoolguy]

I did but I will again

[@thatguymike02]

Hey Frank, how's your mental health? We want to make sure you are doing okay! ❤🤟

[@andrejka_sacred_coach]

FJ, the editor keeps putting clips of two women in a romantic setting.. is that what you want?

[@erikavaleries]

Next - how to be cooler 😂

[@CaveyMoth]

You really light up a room, FJ. PLEASE DON'T END UP ON A CRIME THRILLER!

[@jess_iguess]

Finally, he tells us HOW to stay cool and attractive.

[@julietteferrars3097]

❤️❤️❤️

[@mate.5915]

this

[@andrewswanson4819]

Thots exactly

[@juanjhs]

Best comment here 😂

[@realvibekilla3344]

finally😮‍💨

[@badgermc6974]

As an INFP, I completely understand how it comes off for us when we’re in the zone or trying to figure out our emotions. If we try to converse, we can come off as depressed, or unnecessarily upset or angry. Sometimes with really hard feelings, it can take months just to be back to our normal selves. Please keep in mind that the longer u push us off or are upset right back at us for doing so, it will prob take longer cuz now that’s added to the list as “Why we’re they yelling at me???” And now we’re tryna figure that out as well. Alr byeeee

[@loisrabies8713]

I’m in the zone…Auto Zone

[@luiiiandmovieee]

I'm an infp too and I couldn't say it better

[@phoenixfire8071]

YES. People say I don’t smile enough and that’s probably because I’m always thinking about something 😐

[@Aprayerfortheloney]

@@phoenixfire8071 Yes exactly I have the same problem and people sometimes misunderstand me or get defensive. I sometimes come across as a bit severe and have a bit of a resting bitch face and I forget to engage with others (lost in my own thoughts) then when I get bad feedback from others I can be a bit momentarily confused 🤔 because actually I don't have an issue with people in general,and usually mind my own business, but yeah I have a skill of alienating others without even trying, it's a pain. I know I need to work on it, but yeah it doesn't come naturally and that's a whole different issue in itself (awkward) 😁

[@rainycats8033]

This is the real struggle

[@anetherealpursuit]

The INTJ one is so true. When I’m absorbed in my own interests and excelling at my own passions, it attracts people way more than when I’m actually trying to engage 😂 try less, be real and authentic.

[@anetherealpursuit]

@andreamurrone_pianoforte haha indeed, balance is always necessary 😅

[@onion-headed]

I’m a female INTJ. Recently, I’ve noticed that I say sarcastic jokes about someone I like in his presence. I just can’t let this someone know I like him, still I want him to like me. Maybe that’s what makes INTJs unattractive when they want to be attractive.

[@Free_Palestine45]

Same lol

[@luiiiandmovieee]

@@onion-headed It sounds pretty accurate for infp too

[@chrishutchins9384]

@@onion-headed Yes, I've learned that while sarcasm is natural for us INTJ's, most people can't tell we're joking so it has the opposite effect.

[@saynotobrainrot]

I love how INTJ is the embodiment "just be yourself"

[@patriot639]

Not exactly. It's let people see you in your element. That's not always just yourself and it's not easy to pull off. For example my element would be doing what I know, and what I know is my work. So I tend to attract people I work with, but I don't date people I work with. It has been great for attracting friends though. I have many interests, but I do not excel at all of my interests though I'm fairly knowledgeable in them. So I can talk peoples ears off for months at a time, and that can be appealing for a while. Eventually you need to talk about things that are not within those interests. Like your relationship, and when your partner flirts with you and expects you to flirt back it can be VERY awkward. Then when you have VAST difference in your vocabulary it can make even the simplest conversations complicated. So just being yourself only works in baiting the hook and catching the fish, it's not very good at keeping the fish or allowing you to fish in a bigger pond. Which makes things especially difficult when you're looking for a VERY specific kinda fish which is rare. Such as a Christian gay man who isn't self hating or extremely accepting.

[@wertfasd]

@@patriot639 How do you keep the fish or fish in a bigger pondthen as an INTJ ? For background I have experiences tapping to my subconscious where I act "like" an ESFP being the life of the party always joking with the usual sarcastic/dark humour of an INTJ and sometimes the one who dares physical challenges (most of my peers are Fi/Si or Fe/Si users so its boredom if I don't do it to amuse myself) but doing this tires me and I know in myself that it's not my default state (I'd say its still part of me) and I would always prefer alone time to just ponder on things over this 'social activities'. So most people see me as an extrovert but they only see me during the weekend. That's why its kinda make sense to me that this INTJ state (sometimes in the element but most of the time awkward) will only be successful with ENFP as they are the only ones who are comfortable with this 'awkwardness' and can keep up with the Ni-Te way of thinking better than the other types said to be compatible with INTJ. My observations on other personalities in my peers based on my interactions with them: ESFP/ESTP doesn't like to talk about deep things, they could but only once in a while but not every meet up so its not worth focusing my attention to them. Good to keep them as acquaintances. ESTJ/ESFJ react like they understand what I'm saying (the deep talks) but when they try to explain it on the current situations they do it incorrectly so you know they didn't actually understand. Good if you just want to bring out your thoughts but not looking to be understood. INFP/ISFP likes my ideas but I really need to like forced them or point out their flaws in their personality (being timid is actually doing something to make that idea work) before they take action towards that idea. These people I have a good vibes with but I still prefer someone to makes my ideas into reality. INTP/ISTP always just listen to me, I need to ask questions before I get any response from them, its annoying when I don't have the questions myself and they just stare at me quietly. Still these are people I can count on to work on something without me supervising but only if they like it. INFJ/ISFJ always clashes with me in terms on we always question each other's intentions. It's kinda tiring for me to play that game so I just enforce my idea to them and ignore whatever their reaction is whether its good or bad. Fellow INTJs either respect me or hate me (maybe due to jealousy) but because I can't really command them to follow my vision they are the most useless to interact with despite both being able to identify and relate with each other's struggles. To summarize, I have an idea on what partner I am looking for but it could now be a unicorn and even if I found one keeping it is another thing. I am pleased to hear your thoughts on this.

[@saynotobrainrot]

@@patriot639 thanks bro! I've been thinking about asking this one lady out so this helps me out even more

[@saynotobrainrot]

@@wertfasd that's the most intj thing I've ever read in a comment section. You helped me know what others expect me to say so I can learn how to talk with them easier You're a g for that!

[@patriot639]

@@saynotobrainrot That is an INTJ thing, but the dark side of INTJ. It is good to understand the personality types, but it can also be bad. For one typing is complicated. You know people for long enough you have a good idea of their personality type, but that should also mean you know them better as a person. Just because someone's personality type has sterotypes that sterotype may not be that person. You can have someone with a personality of they don't like talking about the big thoughts. Maybe they don't even understand them, but perhaps they like talking about them with you. If you pull back because you are getting less out of it that's something that can lead to hurting both of you. Note this. All relationships are compromise. Work, Friendship, Family, Lover. People need to tolerate things you enjoy, but they enjoy less and vice versa. While understanding the underlining drives and way of thinking of others can help you navigate relationships better, you must not let that understanding become prejudice. Be open to all of the MBTI as they are all a part of us in bigger and smaller ways.

[@fortune_roses]

*INTJ.* The best way to make friends with coworkers (or miscellaneous people) isn't through forced conversation. It's through *food* & I swear it works

[@sneezyfreya1885]

Yup, I did make a lot of friends just by sharing my lunch my mom made

[@Hugh_Yu-Gi-Oh]

As an INFJ, I relate to the thing of us wanting to get along with everyone, but also not wanting to express how I really think and feel on the opinion, which sounds like a very difficult thing for me to do

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

I hear ya👍🏻

[@heathermcdougall8023]

As I've said already, as a n extreme INFJ you really DON'T want to know what I really think - and we do think a lot, especially about those consequences!! and we can think fast too.

[@alicedandelion4391]

@@heathermcdougall8023yup, girl. And you know how I try to stop that literal Shinkansen (AKA bullet train) of thought? By saying my thoughts out aloud. People say I’m crazy but here’s the thing… MY THOUGHTS ARE FASTER & HITS ME HARDER THAN A BULLET. So, talking ensures that my thoughts are controlled… in 3 ways. 1. Reasonably fast 😅 2. Morally upright😊 3. Mentally healthy FOR ME (I think too much to ACTIVELY care about what other people think. I’M TIRED OF BEING NICE 22/7. LET ME BE REAL FOR 2/7 please.😢)

[@koalynha]

As an INTJ this was a reality slap in my face... I literally used the "what are your professional goals to the future?" with my crush not long ago, it was awkward af

[@NoopyP]

Oh my god when you said INFPs aren't really depressed, they're just "in the zone", I laughed so hard cuz that's so true XD

[@allweneedislove965]

INFPs aren't really depressed they are just very thoughtful. So much that they take so much time to get the best(very idealistic) conclusion.

[@GetYossedLol]

As an INTP, I don't judge people when they "don't have knowledge". The stereotype that INTPs have a lot of knowledge because we keep researching is not really accurate because that isn't the goal. The goal is to have a fundamental understanding of how the world works, not hoard a bunch of facts cuz we like it. I judge people more when they hold strong opinions about things and are not open to new information and insights that may change their judgement. We are more about analysis and insights than just a bunch of research. Research is Te Analysis is Ti

[@youngcrone456]

My son is an INTP and you are spot on. He does have a lot of knowledge as a result of his curiosity and desire to understand things. But knowledge in and of itself is not the goal.

[@anime-ye1qs]

Exactly We are intelligent and curious, also imaginative We're not exactly informative - we only care about things we are interested in

[@DietaryHealthRebel]

As an INTJ female, I've been told that my intelligence, confidence, aloofness, appearing to be unattainable and my systematic dress code are what males find appealing. Guys feel comfortable talking to me. However, on the flip side of I'm also viewed as being intimidating and I hurt their feelings when they profess their supposed adoration, because I questioned it and explain it to them (analyze). However, an ISTJ, figured me out, relentless in his pursuit, withstood my assessment and made a great argument on why we would "work". He had experience to backup his argument, because we were both in IT and worked well together. It's been 30+ yrs.

[@fluffysheap]

As an INTP, I never have to worry about birth control because I can just use my personality

[@odiseeacarmen1740]

So true OMG:)))) guys, stop!!

[@edi0157]

ISTJ here, worked for me too so far

[@idlawyl9996]

What people don’t understand is that we save time and money by not having relationships at the cost of mental health, luckily such problems can be repressed.

[@MorgueInTheVoid]

As an INFP, I will say this is incredibly accurate. And I've always known its off putting that I'm basically a lost cause when it comes to others trying to pull me out of depression, which makes me isolate from others because I don't want to bring other people down.

[@soabiaa]

You need an ENFP to lift u up! :)

[@essennagerry]

Hey, please don't self isolate! I think regardless of type people can have similar reasons for waning to isolate because they don't want to bother people with xyz trait of theirs. The way that I see it this happens when we deal with complexity and flaws. It's completely ok to deal with these and it's NOT EASY regardless of circumstances and personality type. Please try to keep this awareness present in your mind and remember that even if you have a thausand arguments for why you're shitty and you better not bother people with it it's *_highly_* likely not true and it's still worth it for bith you an your friends to spend time with them. So without any pressure and without shaming yourself for not beig able to do that "the proper way" whatever that means find ways to spend time with them that work for you and for them. Also find ways to still try to receive help from your friends when you're dealing with depression. You don't have to immediately deliver results. You don't have to have the outcome at the time and place that your friends initially expect you to. Complex issues REQUIRE both repeated trial and error and creative problem solving. Please feel absolutely at peace and more than allowed to endeavor in that. Also you don't have to push yourself to constantly do that and constantly let your friends in on this process to help you. But don't completely and permanently shut them out. Just make sure you don't overwhelm yourself so take breaks from "letting your friends help you", as you gain more experience you'll know better what nature, lengths and frequency of breaks you need. All I'm saying is be open and flexible while still letting yourself take the breaks and the alone time you need and on top of that never just write off an issue as "this is forever solely my problem now and I will thus self-isolate". Keep on letting other people in and letting them try tp help you - AT YOUR PACE without pressure, without stress, but never shut the door. It may feel unpleasant, you may feel like you don't deserve it or like you're not being fair to them to "be like this" and bother them but that's something to push through. Without pressure and stress but still something to push through. I'm sorry if this is chaotic and messy! I am learning this right now. Not easy for me to balance. I'm quite the ENFP actually and actually always desire to share everything with everyone but even so struggle with the same thing you're describing. And I have years of experience showing me that what you're doing is not just not good - which you already know I assume - but also completely unnecessary. Unless your frienda are jerks or smth. I kind of don't have friends, AS AN ENFP, because of doing this and because of shame too. Honestly, print out my comment and res it once a week until you feel the urge to re-write it for yourself and your situation. It really is ok. Preaching this both to you and to my younger self. Even though many won't get it and won't be able to help, and even though a few of those will even get annoyed at you at some point. Even so. It really is ok. Your issues and even your flaws are caused by non-trivial things. But YOU are amazing regardless. We're both amazing and suck. The suck doesn't define us, we reshape it. The amazingness we cultivate. Such is life. You're extremely worth it. You don't have to have anything to show for it, it's who you are. If you have zero to show for it, there's good reasons for that too. You can figure them out. You're still amazing. I hope you develop a deep seeded belief in that because it's both so true and so relevant. I wish you all the best!

[@marni4126]

@@essennagerry Hello, I just read your comment, and I think it's really lovely and thoughtful of you to go out of your way to write this message for someone you don't even know. I want to thank you because it really helped me, and it's wonderful to know that there are people out there who are kind and considerate. 🤍💌

[@essennagerry]

@@marni4126 Thank you for letting me know, I'm happy it was helpful! :)

[@Izabela-ek5nh]

@essennagery: whatever you say I am still convinced I just SHOULDN'T bother other people with anything "difficult" about me. I feel like sharing is so cool when the people are likeable - I am too weird to be likeable so I just hide thr bad things. I am very lonely but at least nobody is down, right? ;)

[@LucasEduardo-zm2tq]

As an INTJ who is a robot, I never attract anyone, people just get intimidated 😂 Also that smooth talk part is 100% spot on, I can't do that to save my life

[@fallenjane]

I'm sure you do, you've just never noticed! INTJs do be like that sometimes.

[@solangelo_shipper2630]

I resonate with that, people are just intimidated by me, without me meaning to do it, but I mean, whatever, I've just decided that I will either be willingly single forever, or date someone perfect. If I meet someone perfect, sure, I'll date them, but I'm not going out of my way, looking for a date. That's a waste of time. -INTJ

[@prathmeshkulkarni2079]

Yea people get intimidated without even trying 😂

[@JadedeaJade]

ENFP- Well no wonder! Look at your profile picture. It's just a picture of a quaint building! You won't attract anyone with that. Let's start things small and upgrade your profile picture! I was thinking we could go with Baroque architecture as it's classic, and timeless. However, if you're feeling daring, how about we step into some Art Deco! Art Deco is a more current and classy architecture of sophisticated style. It's like wearing a Tom Ford suit. 😁🤭🤭🤭

[@unionunicorn6776]

As an INFP I find it incredibly validating that JF uses us in a lot of his thumbnails 🥰

[@foxbelly]

Lol same 😌✨

[@dolamara]

INFJ here. During the past month, I've noticed both in my personal and professiona life that I have to start stating my opinions more. I noticed that things get messy, and I turn into an anxious mess, unless I participate more in the game of opinions.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

@123abc 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@alicedandelion4391]

Hmm… I’ve got 4 lives. School life, cocuriculum life, social media life & MY PARENTS’ HOUSE life. Stating my opinions brings very different effects in respective lives. School - … let’s just say that studying drains most of my energy so I state my opinion only when required. Cocuriculum (clubs & societies) - If I don’t say anything, they hate it. So, it’s better to say something & pretend to be busy instead of going on with the PERFECTLY FINE flow. Ofc, not every club is like this but, THAT ONE SOCIETY… really ANNOYED THE HECK OUTTA ME. Social media - Voicing my opinions is more beneficial as I can learn about more stories from other people. Ofc, this is through an account that my parents don’t know of. MY PARENTS’ HOUSE - Best course of action = SHUT UP & BE A DOLL. Wanna think? 2 endings, being rebuked or mocked/teased (which doesn’t make much difference) oh, add 1 more thing to the list. Be ready to be used as neither bragging material or a sword. Wanna know one of the best things I’ve heard in 2 months? “Your mom wanted to block you at some point.” - from my dad. THANK YOU. PLEASE DO THAT. I’VE NEVER HEARD MORE PEACEFUL NEWS. OFC, IF YOU 2 DID SO, IT’LL BE BETTER. Just saying.

[@heathermcdougall8023]

When an INFJ says what they REALLY think (and we do think endlessly as our inner lives are so exciting) disaster often follows.The offence can take so may forms: INFJ honesty brutal honesty is shocking, offensive or just plain weird. When it's backed up by our strange, creepy, frightening, INFJ stare, you know it's time to make some outrageous excuse and runa way home for at least 2 months in total isolation.

[@rachman.syahril]

I agree that's pretty much disaster, but I here it more often like here in FJ's channel and in Wenzes channel too, you know... try to state your opinion / focus on yourself more...

[@TimurMamatov]

Yeah, this pattern sounds too familiar, unfortunately: - Sooo, what’s your opinion on this matter? - I’ve just stated it - No-no-no, don’t sugarcoat it; we want to know how you REALLY feel about it - Oh, okay, here we go: *expressing an opinion honestly* - Oh my gosh, why would you even say that, you’re literally Hitler!

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

@@TimurMamatov 🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏻👌🏻

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Frank meant to be less of a people pleaser. Doesn't mean you have to shut it off completely, just tone it down a notch. I tried it and it felt super weird at first and like I was being super rude, but actually it wasn't that bad bmcuz I was just maxing small adjustments and changes. Made me feel better about myself and not have to remember what I stated

[@KasketKat]

As an INFP who is working on their mental and physical health for the past year, I’m feeling my confidence is blooming and I’ve been a lot more happier. I’m seeing that people will approach me, talking to me more and I try to do that same when I feel I’m in that social zone. But yeah, being a human sponge, overthinking and absorbing every emotion is still something I stumble onto my face so hard with lol I need to work out the kinks of it, be aware and hopefully can lessen that overtime Cause it’s definitely a blessing and curse 😅

[@luiiiandmovieee]

I'm an infp too and I relate so much to that!

[@patriot639]

Very true about INTJ. Oddly enough I find I'm most attractive to people, not necessarily sexually, when I'm at work. I have my swagger and my no nonsense attitude. But when I'm trying to attract someone I fall to pieces. Which tends to lead to a cycle of people getting attracted to me then I reciprocate and try to be relationship focused only for things to fall apart.

[@The27Hntrs]

As a ENFP, I never realized that it could come across as a backup plan lol. I just like to do random stuff at random times.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

“Aloof” is the word people love to apply to others they don’t understand or want to get to know, along with “weird.”

[@7h3m3g4n]

You can't get to know everyone. Why should people randomly choose to learn about someone who shows no interest in them? If you're blaming everyone else for not knowing you, you should really consider the common denominator in all of those interactions.

[@rosieleaverton]

INTP one is pretty accurate. I often get frustrated when I can think of a solution to something, yet other people are struggling to see my POV because their brains work differently than mine, and I really need to get better about not being that way, lol

[@prakhya123]

Same I am not trying to be arrogant but sitting away from my friends may come off as an arrogant serious person though I am somewhat not like that....my life's weird lol

[@justinael]

I'm an INFJ who spits opinions wherever I go. People love it or hate it. Sometimes I try to stop but then I become fake, fawning and not interesting, even if there's no conflict when you agree and shut your mouth. I guess it's better to do what we do best: Name things we observe in people. Just maybe not all the time.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

🤣🤣🤣👌🏻 Infj here also.

[@TaraTara-ld2xb]

I don't often feel comfortable saying my opinion if it's different from others and I'm shy too, but I could try a little bit more. Thanks for the advice! INFJ here, btw.

[@mariagordanier3404]

It really does get easier with practice. I'm practically a known contrarian now, I have been one all along tho.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Awwwww you sound so cute! 🥺 Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗

[@thatcringeythingyoudidin6t792]

0:05 I literally just left bath and body works overthinking if people will like the scent of the stuff I bought -infp

[@Sophieloaf]

As an INFP I completely agree. It can take weeks or months for me to get out of “the zone”. I can get so caught up in my emotions and feelings for something that has happened that I completely lose touch with life and the present moment.

[@jijitters]

The ISFP trap is hard to escape! I really don't know how to relate to people who don't share my interests. I can totally see how that makes us ISFPs seem unavailable or like there's a wall up between us. We love making connections with new people but you just can't get through that last barrier unless we're bonding over something we share an interest in.

[@Mysterium-zy6ri]

Sooo true

[@rebeccabrandish3374]

I'm an ISFP, I got sick of the eye rolling, so I changed tact, I just ask a ton of questions and find something to compliment the other person. I'm not a young person (but not old, either)

[@Asoulcalledrose]

As an Intp: When I was trying to teach my classmates the subject physics, I wanted to make them avoid the embarrassment of asking questions (cause I’m the smartest kid according to the grades system) I would understand they might feel I’m judging them uncomfortably. sooooo instead I was explaining and simplifying the topic from all angles for them, taking into account what kind of questions they might ask, and answer them through explaining. At the end, they made a joke about how I make them feel stupid cause I even predict their questions. Mission failed.

[@luiza9253]

Exactly! It's not like I don't know people think I'm arrogant, I've struggled with this all my life. The question is: how do I avoid coming off that way? When I explain things thoroughly, people feel as if I'm calling them stupid because "ofc they already know this." If I assume they know something basic and go on from there, then "not everybody is as smart as you, we don't know everything" and I'm wrong again. I'm starting to get convinced people are just intimidated and will wrongfully interpret whatever I do as either underestimating or overestimating them because they can't be objective enough to just say "I don't know this, please explain" or "I already know this, please move on" without taking everything personally.

[@Asoulcalledrose]

@@luiza9253 totally got you!! That’s what I decided as well, if they gonna take things personal they have inner/shadow work to do lol, already did my part.

[@amandap.8471]

@@luiza9253 SAME!!

[@amandap.8471]

@@luiza9253 Am I suppose to presume people know it already? Am I not?

[@GrafinVonHopper]

@@luiza9253 Puxa vida! Como INFJ com a função Ti bem desenvolvida, consigo me identificar totalmente com seu relato. É difícil se relacionar com as pessoas, quando elas não são sinceras nem consigo mesmas. Há sempre uma guerra de egos para nunca ficarem "por baixo" com relação aos outros, e você nunca sabe se está agradando ou não por mais que tente prever as coisas. Difícil!

[@oldnickdeadpoolguy]

When you can’t decide between making 16 personalities videos and Educational videos

[@lana.dalo2]

what do you mean?

[@lisarodriguez6966]

@@lana.dalo2 I think he means that they are both, about the 16 personalities AND educational.

[@ISAGAARBO98]

Perfectly Balanced 👌

[@lana.dalo2]

@@lisarodriguez6966 oh i see thanks

[@erinb9647]

😆😆 He does a great job though.

[@mubrek236]

As an INFJ aka The Perfect "Tag-along" Friend,I confirm...I just need people to accept my existence.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗

[@trinaq]

You've got me, Frank, I'm a Faker Daker! I'm going to try to state my own opinions more, not just spout what I think other want to hear. Thanks for helping us to stay cool and attractive!😍💞

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗

[@hope-.]

🎵They say a stranger's come to town. They call him Mr. Frank James.🎵 Thanks for uploading. I love the video and that lil outro song. Will we ever get a full version? And I agree to the unattractive thing. I've been in conversations where a single drop of the topic became the whole ocean with me talking and looking at it from as many perspectives as possible. People have to stop me or else they lose the track of how many and how much I'm saying.. One girl legit said," You need to stop or else I'll forget who I am". Lol. She wasn't being serious, I guess but many people have stopped me when I go into that spiral and depth of something. I think people get uncomfortable and to be honest, I wanna speak so much that I myself get confused and start to either speak really fast or stutter altogether. I know. I'm very wierd

[@davidt01]

Are you an INTP? That sounds like me.

[@hope-.]

@@davidt01 I'd take that as a compliment but I'm and INFP. A feeler by very thin margin(53%) so I think I very much am like and INTP too because I tend to create equilibrium when it comes to my thinking and feeling.

[@J.eeeek27]

The true crime joke finding it’s way into different personality types was hilarious 😂. I always wondered why it was the super nice people that were the victims… 😬

[@fizzydee3991]

Naivety? I'm fairy nice, but thankfully my Ne will whisper "What if they're gonna slice my ears off and feed them to their pet cat" whenever I try to help a stranger.

[@LAL7887]

because when a person dies it's rude to say something bad about them lmao so you're just like "they were such a nice person!!"

[@hipsterizeddoll]

Finally saw an ENFJ commenting 🚬

[@kaliah1494]

As an ENFP...this is why I love dating an ENTP. He loves my spontaneity!

[@raspexsaurus7]

Everbody knows that every INTP has entered the "Judging people by their intellect " phase

[@Vector12345t]

Good thing the only person I judge is myself. ;)

[@louisejoel]

Everyone else judges us for being weird and aloof and wants us to be like them

[@odiseeacarmen1740]

Yes and yes🤣 i was going for yes and no but i cant lie :))))

[@1tubax]

As an ENTP I also went through that phase. But it was just like a quick judgement, and I forget about it almost instantly, and proceed to treat that person normally.

[@coconoir6187]

I love watching your videos, Frank. So good to see you happily married and have a cute baby 👶 I have never seen my INTJ husband or INTJ friends ever try to be "attractive." They rather evaluate every person and once found someone worthy of their affection PLAN a grand scheme to attract their target without ever being noticed and execute the plan with precision to get to where they want to be in a LONG term. Or they don't waste time and tell the person directly without any fluff as soon as they feel it. That was my husband and I loved it. - INFJ

[@RedEyedRaven93]

As an INTJ, I can say that this is true. I'm just terrible at flirting and trying to look attractive. I just learned through experience that people come to me when I'm just confidently doing my thing. (And that's a relief because I don't have to exert so much effort to it)

[@Balloushop13]

INTJ here. So what you’re saying is, I’m fine as I am, but I need to get out the house more? To the Library it is then!

[@ENFP7w8capranica]

Not me and my ENFP and ISFP friends over here going out to a spontaneous dinner THAT DAY, and not actually knowing where we’re planning on going until an hour before hand and then changing that restaurant twice before going back to the original one. -ENFP

[@heyart3668]

As a ENFJ, one of the most difficult thongs for me is accepting that I'm not able to hug the world and help everybody. There's more wonderful people in the world and they'll find the right time to help the right people. Just like I will. I DON'T need take everyone's needs as my responsibility just because I know how to emotionally digest everyone's feelings and intentions.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Oh don't get me started... My best friend is an ENFJ and momma-s her cousin and practically acts like her servant. I tell her to stop that and tone it down but she doesn't wanna upset the cousin, meanwhile she is damaging her health, reducing her sleep time and so on. Cuz her cousin isn't the only one of her list of people to serve and dedicate time, energy and resources to, but the is right there on the top of the list. 😑 Now I nag her everyday and she tones down a little bit the sacrificing part but she has to get angry with me first to actually do it, so I am not saving her health that much... I am an Infj btw. I told her she should have a personal assistant who would also be like her bodyguard and take her out of this and that place and situation when time runs out. Usually that's me when I have the energy and time to go with her to her cousin and then 2 hours later I tell the cousin we have to leave. Then the cousin creates drama on how can we leave so soon and then I make a stingy comment that we actually do have a lot of things to do and not get bored like others. But that doesn't happen too often since I also don't have the time to waste it like that so I just blow up her phone calling her to come and help me with "an urgent matter" and maybe 1h later of me nagging her on the phone, she leaves 😡😠 This is the thing that annoys me the most. Like, she has the brains and is clever and knows how to get out of such situations but she doesn't! And she knows the bad effects that has on her health. So you'd better stop doing that also, or I will haunt your dreams and nag you too😤

[@eynta2]

@@quirogatnonerrat3214 we need those people in our life to tell us to stop....not just tell us...but help us when we have a hard time stopping. My adult daughter is INFJ and she does that for me.

[@heyart3668]

@@quirogatnonerrat3214 I'll take care of myself, I promise. The only way I could start was when my terapist found me in a burnout out, she literally said: "if you think you're capable of holding the world by yourself, you're arrogant. We can'tact like we don't need people or help, that's arrogant". Since then, I've been trying to be gentle to myself and stop treating me like a emotion superwoman. I've been way more healthy and living a more balanced life. Thank you for your comment, I'll work (and rest) to become my happier version everyday.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

@@heyart3668 Wow that is pretty smart of your therapist, making you fixate into your mind that you are bad if you neglect yourself by using the term "arrogant". You cannot take care of anyone else if you aren't taken care of. You cannot be a steady pillar if you have cracks. Thank you for trying your best to work on it and taking the steps needed to take care of yourself. Sending you lots of hugs, you are a wonderful person with a beautiful soul and you make this world a better place with your warm affectionate heart. 🤗

[@heyart3668]

@@quirogatnonerrat3214 Thank you, you're so kind!!!

[@Irarres]

From personal experience, I feel that the ENFP tip can actually make matters worse. Making broad general plans that may likely be forgotten, cancelled, or lead us to anxiety trying to fulfill it, when the plan inevitably no longer suits our mood, ultimately leaves people feeling more slighted, as they are left behind in a trail of ENFP phantom plans that never come to fruition :,). Better to just get friends who understand, accept, and appreciate our spontaneity, good intentions, and whims, and save us all the heartache O:)

[@braceletlife28]

Exactly 💯

[@KristalCherelle]

@@braceletlife28hard agree!

[@SelenaSea]

Frank is on-point, but this is also a good point! 😄

[@JadedeaJade]

I try to schedule 48hrs in advance. Essentially on Wednesday for Friday, or weekend events. That's been easier to stomach.

[@hazardfree23]

'He always brightened up the room, until he was murdered." 😂😂😂

[@nifemiesther5311]

The perfect victims

[@melodyalong5666]

As an Infp, I can totally relate about being under the water. I remember I used to do that all the time(I still do), and the people around me would get really annoyed and tried to bring me out of the water. It really frustrated me at first but over time I see where they're coming from and I've gotten better at coming up to the surface. Awesome vid btw

[@angelicanavarro5311]

This INFJ will often tell people what they want to here because 1) I’m trying to avoid conflict, and 2) I don’t feel like people are ready to hear what I truly have to say and those that claim they are ready never take it well 😅

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗

[@zalhiami]

I realised something while reading my fellow INFPs comments that everytime I get in the zone, I get into a huge art block (unless it's something I HAVE to do because art school yano) but I always produce my best artworks once I get out of it ! I surprisingly never made the connection !

[@bigvi9585]

What you said about the ISFJ is sooo accurate! I mostly spend time helping others and being there for them, that I don’t focus on myself😢 I also feel like i’m kind of boring.

[@melodyconte]

Hey Frank, I just wanted to thank you for these videos ❤️ The coming up for air thing is spot on. Through my mental health journey, I've learned that I can still feel my intense feelings, but maybe let them simmer on the back burner from time to time to participate in the real world through actions that will maintain my relationships. Instead of going into hermit mode all the time. 🌊 Comes up for air 🌊

[@londonlover1403]

Frank James , because of you I discovered mbti and that was amazing ! Now I know who I am because of you! Thank you . Wish you all the best Infp...

[@cb9299]

uh this actually made me understand a new way of how to relate to my intp husband as an infp. i get heavily in the ZONE with my feelings as you put it and it definitely confuses him. and i easily get triggered/offended when i think he is calling me dumb and hes like what?? im not calling you dumb i dont even think you are dumb.

[@RhymeandRamblings]

As an infp, this is so accurate. I love deep diving into what I’m feeling way too much but I recognize that life is about balance.

[@joahamnidaaaaaa1908]

I remember my friend asked me to compare her two pictures and told me to choose the best. I said she was pretty in both pictures and I was not lying, but she said, "Anything is pretty for me." lol - INFJ

[@edi0157]

“Anything is pretty for me” sounds like me (ISTJ) when people (lets be real, mostly girls) ask me to take photos for them, my strategy is literally to spam the photo taking button and hope one of them is considered good enough because I can t for the life of me understand why some people have to take like 20 photos to finally be pleased with one

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗

[@eynta2]

Spot on with ENFJ! My husband's biggest complaint about me is that I don't spend enough time with him. I have to divide my time in so many different directions that I'm often unbalanced. And I know even my own needs get neglected sometimes. I'm working on it. 😅

[@nexto3032]

infj here. followed your advice and now the cops are at my door

[@nova22194]

The infj is so true well at least for me cz I was thinking about how I need to be more honest with myself when talking to people and not let others think that I'm a certain way that I'm totally not

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗 Basically try to talk like an ENFJ. Out matters in such a way that they can't deny it. Like put the in the shoes of the person you are talking about or stating facts. With people if you just say your opinion without any facts or numbers, you won't succeed anything. Which is awful cuz I hate numbers and having to remember them...

[@swordspiritghirahim]

I’m an INTJ and I’ve definitely noticed that in my personal life. Every time I’ve tried to be smooth well…it’s embarrassing. Anyone I’ve been in a relationship with has been a friend first and things build from there. They get to see me in my own environment. I’ve been told that the reason anyone is attracted to me is because (as my current partner put it) I “tell it like it is”, they think I’m smart, and that I have a lot of passion/drive. Plus I can play off awkward moments as a joke. People like that for some reason. I tend to be reserved and keep people at arms length, so it’s a miracle I’ve ever been in a romantic relationship. I just kind of let people come to me and if they stick around they might like me. I’d rather not fake it or be a try hard. I’m fine with solitude so it’s not really a loss if I don’t impress someone upon first meeting them. But if they can put up with me being a bit aloof and can get me to put my guard down I’m not a bad person.

[@juanjhs]

ENFJ here. I confirm that I try to adapt my schedule in order to fit everyone I care about, and occasionally I leave no time even for myself 😂 The "sometimes you have to let someone (you care about) 'suffer' a little bit so you can invest in this other person" advice sounds very hard for me, though 🙃

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Oh don't get me started... My best friend is an ENFJ and momma-s her cousin and practically acts like her servant. I tell her to stop that and tone it down but she doesn't wanna upset the cousin, meanwhile she is damaging her health, reducing her sleep time and so on. Cuz her cousin isn't the only one of her list of people to serve and dedicate time, energy and resources to, but the is right there on the top of the list. 😑 Now I nag her everyday and she tones down a little bit the sacrificing part but she has to get angry with me first to actually do it, so I am not saving her health that much... I am an Infj btw. I told her she should have a personal assistant who would also be like her bodyguard and take her out of this and that place and situation when time runs out. Usually that's me when I have the energy and time to go with her to her cousin and then 2 hours later I tell the cousin we have to leave. Then the cousin creates drama on how can we leave so soon and then I make a stingy comment that we actually do have a lot of things to do and not get bored like others. But that doesn't happen too often since I also don't have the time to waste it like that so I just blow up her phone calling her to come and help me with "an urgent matter" and maybe 1h later of me nagging her on the phone, she leaves 😡😠 This is the thing that annoys me the most. Like, she has the brains and is clever and knows how to get out of such situations but she doesn't! And she knows the bad effects that has on her health. So you'd better stop doing that also, or I will haunt your dreams and nag you too😤

[@JustAnotherCommenter]

As an ISTP, I can agree that getting out of your comfort zone of expertise (CZE) can make an ISTP more attractive. Like, everyone knows that you are good at a particular subject, but the fact that the ISTP person tries other things and perspectives surprises people. Staying in your CZE might mean that you are being ignorant of your capabilities as an ISTP, which is very bad.

[@imaneelmouden6506]

As an ISTP myself what happens to me is that i'm not really interested in other things like for example for my studies, i found myself focusing on one point only and not seeing other stuff unintentionally just because i'm too interested in my things that i can't get out of it

[@mevthe_ghost4504]

Infj with INFP sister again. Lol When my sister goes to the zone she emerges like 3 days later while we are working on something completely unrelated and picks up back were we started arguing over the thing I thought we solved three days ago.Drives me batty.

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

😱😱😱😱😨😨😨😨

[@holleighlordel1575]

❤ I always watch the whole video to grasp the whole concept and take away a sprinkle from each type. So true about the ENFP. I have picked up vibes from others like they think I’m being a jerk for not planning ahead when the idea literally just came to me and I’m so excited to include them. This awareness, and the responsibilities of mid-life, have cramped my style. Now I (have to) plan ahead (bleh) a lot more. It’s all good though, because I like seeing future plans on my calendar and showing consideration of other types makes them like you more 😊

[@wintertontoday]

Thank you, thank you and thank you. You are a model, gold standard ENFP. And now, all ENFPs, if you want to keep your (possibly non ENFP) friends who need a plan because they have lives and routines of their own, then pls follow suit. ❣️🥹🍨🩷

[@holleighlordel1575]

@@wintertontoday awww shucks 😊 It’s a learned skill that comes with age and experience. Definitely doesn’t come naturally LoL! Thanks for the compliment 😁

[@christinehoyt6414]

Super job, Frank. I think your advice to each type can bring meaningful change. I especially enjoyed what you said to the ISTP; deep and important. Thanks for uncovering our blind spots some more.

[@helgaioannidis9365]

INFP here. I figured out finding a good hairdresser really helped me a lot with being more attractive. 😁

[@kunogi09midori]

As INTP, I hear people tell me I’m intelligent even though I’m just fooling around. I don’t know if I’ve off put people but there are times I’m very disappointed when I attract very dumb people. I’m starting to regret befriending an ISFJ because she’s boring and also expecting some emotional stuff. Sometimes it’s not about how smart you or how dumb the other person is but the way we communicate doesn’t align. Sadly I’m a person who always live in another dimension.

[@odiseeacarmen1740]

This is so so accurate!!!

[@Numero.uno.hjuiceva]

I’m an ESFP-T and extremely hyper tbh. I already noticed that people tend to stay away from me lol. You really called us, ESFP’s, out. But I do have a “attention seeking disorder” how many people call it, but I prefer Hpd (histrionic personality disorder) which makes me extremely “sad or agressive” whenever I don’t get the attention I need. It’s more like a “fitting in” XD. Naw man- I’ve talked to much 💀

[@hassanabdel-hafeez1592]

Sensors that are into typology are just so cool

[@AdorableOracle]

I feel you on the whole "their smile lit up a room and they were loved by EVERYONE NAD hey also saved puppies!" I'm sure 1 or 2 unpleasant people have been murdered. in the history of crime..

[@riaruame6183]

As an ENTJ woman, this is so real 😂 problem is, I quit talking about my accomplishments soooo long ago to avoid that, and people still think Im carrogant" because Im assertive and not afraid to have conversations about whats wrong and express my thoughts in an empathetic way. It's literally just the demeanor that's scaring people, somehow I just give that ~vibe~ 😂

[@macaron4280]

I'm an ENFP (I think, I still hesitate between ENFP and INFP) , and people really do think that they are my second choice or that i don't value or respect them because of my spontaneity. But it's not spontaneous anymore if I planned it before ! Even a little bit ! And I don't want to disappoint someone because I would have said "let's go out this friday !" and then friday comes and I just wanna stay home x)

[@wintertontoday]

So what you do is, you keep your word and go out on the Friday as planned. - from a now grossly hypocritical INFP

[@CelestineTheConfused]

lol, grossly hypocritical INFP, I appreciate that self-awareness. ENFP or INFP, what if you reframe the spontaneous moments into flexibility? Like, show up but don't have anything planned. Just something to think about😊

[@sreepadamati8120]

Yes I am an enfp and I had same experiences too

[@tarawillis5450]

ENFJ right here! I love helping people with their problems, and it tends to push everyone else away. My son is an ISFP, and is obsessed with WWE. Very few people can relate to him

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Oh don't get me started... My best friend is an ENFJ and momma-s her cousin and practically acts like her servant. I tell her to stop that and tone it down but she doesn't wanna upset the cousin, meanwhile she is damaging her health, reducing her sleep time and so on. Cuz her cousin isn't the only one of her list of people to serve and dedicate time, energy and resources to, but the is right there on the top of the list. 😑 Now I nag her everyday and she tones down a little bit the sacrificing part but she has to get angry with me first to actually do it, so I am not saving her health that much... I am an Infj btw. I told her she should have a personal assistant who would also be like her bodyguard and take her out of this and that place and situation when time runs out. Usually that's me when I have the energy and time to go with her to her cousin and then 2 hours later I tell the cousin we have to leave. Then the cousin creates drama on how can we leave so soon and then I make a stingy comment that we actually do have a lot of things to do and not get bored like others. But that doesn't happen too often since I also don't have the time to waste it like that so I just blow up her phone calling her to come and help me with "an urgent matter" and maybe 1h later of me nagging her on the phone, she leaves 😡😠 This is the thing that annoys me the most. Like, she has the brains and is clever and knows how to get out of such situations but she doesn't! And she knows the bad effects that has on her health. So you'd better stop doing that also, or I will haunt your dreams and nag you too😤

[@tarawillis5450]

@@quirogatnonerrat3214 lol 😂 Thank you. Your comment is perfect

[@SL33PYLUNA]

As an estj. I've learned so far in life that my true love is food but thanks for the advice

[@thapeloramafoko5388]

ENFJ here, so funny how accurate this is. Thank you

[@amankuro9723]

Yesssss finally the 16 types are organized to be watched in the video, thanks frank❤❤❤

[@kdcadenza4170]

I often see issues where ixxj types date exxp types and find the exxp types immature or too crazy, where as the exxp types see the ixxj types as too srs and not fun and easygoing enough What then happens is that either they grow and learn from each other or they breakup because the intial differences that attracted them to each other they ended up hating

[@Cafephile22]

Make a video on INTPs and their problems and how to solve them

[@누군가-n7j]

this is probably the most forshadowed video in the entire channel. it teaches us how to "stay cool and attractive"

[@saku_chann]

How INFPs be more attractive : Go out, leave your house . _advice from an infp

[@diai557]

Oh no :(

[@CrystalShadow]

😮

[@wuttatota148]

The ENFP one is so accurate, the other day i invited my friend for coffee and they were shocked because i asked them on the actual day 🕴️ "Hey are you up for coffee?" "Sure when?" "Right now." "Huhhh??"

[@wintertontoday]

I have an ENFP friend just like this and it drives me nuts. Use a calendar for the love of God. Or at least use it to pencil in coffee dates, pleeeeeeaaasssseeeee. So stressful!

[@Pinkywinkykinky]

Yeah I can do that a lot when I want my friends to watch a show not really thinking how their schedules are actually busy with school and end up getting upset at times, like I'm sure I wouldn't have all the energy if I was that busy for a ROTTMNT fic I'm homeschooled

[@xAmeAki]

@@wintertontoday omg, so rude :((

[@edi0157]

As an ISTJ, I can confirm I would be horrified if you did that to me lol

[@autumnleavestaytan]

As an INFJ, According to this plan I'll hv to keep myself awake at night to think if I might have said something hurtful or any embarrassed thing during the process

[@backyardybeats]

as an enfp with an enfp friend, randomly hitting eachother up to hang is something we do all the time. but it can come across as awkward for non enfps. appreciate this heads up 😂

[@thepizzafoogle5481]

INTJ here, have never actually tried being attractive, I do not flirt, I find it superficial and unnecessary, I treat girls I have crushes on the same as how I treat other people. I do my own thing usually, and I have even stopped hanging out with my crush at lunchtimes so I could go do work in the computer room. Doesn't bother me really. But sometimes I can come across as arrogant to people when I try to explain my point of view on life. Perhaps that displays self-confidence, but I don't really care tbh.

[@terrimoran4428]

I’m writing this so I can remind myself to show my mom this. She is exactly the kind of ESFJ he is talking about. 5:55 Also, I just got to my type and it was pretty accurate and good advise that I’ll take under advisement. I’m an ENFJ.

[@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

Thank for bring us fun, happiness, knowledge and improve ourselves in same time ! Your "Ni Fe Blast" vibes is so appreciable. I confirm INTJ are attractive when they focus on their plans lonely, are themselves and do their own thing, it make them mysterious, hard to get, inaccessible, and wanting to know them, want to know what their is in their mind and heart, and what are their plans. Poor INTJ, we attract people when we are ourselves, whereas we don't really want to attract people.

[@ianaxel1111]

16:12, INFJ the chameleon, I like it

[@affinity266]

Cool t-shirt, daddy shark 😎

[@user-nm6dr4uy3d]

As an INFP, I have gone so far as to disappear from my group of friends for almost three months last summer. I just couldn't handle all my emotions and thought my pals would be better off without me. Not cool. I regret it so much.

[@ninin11]

as an entp, that shit hit closer to home than i was expecting lol. the adhd doesn’t help with the issue, too

[@LeDenoter]

as an INTJ, i got 3 different people come up to me and ask me out... well... i had to reject all of them since their personalities and future thoughts aren't close to mine. (I'm a guy btw)

[@patriot639]

I disbelieve everything said here.

[@LeDenoter]

@@patriot639 i understand, thinking that I'm a guy who rejects girls, its like an alternative universe... but you see, not every guy is the same. Some of them are... attractive. ;)

[@calypsodragonheart]

These are very accurate and also very good advice ! Thanks Frank, love your work ❤️

[@badgermc6974]

Nice seeing another vid today Frank! Take ur time as a new dad but always nice getting on YT and seeing a new Frank James vid :)

[@incite2004]

When my boyfriend (an INTP) is a too smart for you person, but he finds out I am extremely intelligent under my emotions & I make him emotional so suddenly I am good enough lol But I am an INFP who can sometimes hurt him cause I focus on my emotions more than his. But I keep trying to focus on him. Only cause I love him & want him around. Everyone else's opinion doesn't matter but his. Knew he loved me when he scarified his alone time for me. Cause I would never willingly.

[@emanuelmayer]

INFJ: interesting concept here. And yet, I struggle with the "they will hate me"-reaction considering "not going with the flow while communicating" :|

[@quirogatnonerrat3214]

Just tone down the non expressing of opinions and do it every now and then and don't be forcefully but deliver your opinion in a "these are the facts, not me" kind of way so that they can't hate you but the facts themselves. Infj here also 🤗🤗 Basically try to talk like an ENFJ. Out matters in such a way that they can't deny it. Like put the in the shoes of the person you are talking about or stating facts. With people if you just say your opinion without any facts or numbers, you won't succeed anything. Which is awful cuz I hate numbers and having to remember them...

[@ScarletRoberts-n5j]

Timmy needs this

[@treasuredwisp]

Sometimes I relate to the INFJ more than my own type INFP, but I think the reason why I just say what others want to hear is that I'm also a type 9 in the enneagram. People pleasing to keep the peace is kinda my thing. If I can get along with the most people possible then I don't have to worry about conflict. However, it doesn't actually work because although I have peace with others, there's a war raging on the inside. I hate feeling like I 'm not being authentic or true to my values and it feels as if my soul is being torn apart. Many times I've thought, do I even know what my own opinions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and values are or do they just change to match the person I'm talking to? Even though I'm aware that I do this, I continue to do it because it's what I've learned to do in my life. It comes so natural that it's hard to change. I've tried to be more authentic, but my friend said I lack tact and my brother reminded me that there's a certain way of stating what you actually think but in a way that helps you connect with the person. It seems the only way I learned to be tactful with others is just to lie and agree with them or say what they want to hear(which isn't actually being tactful). So I'm either too nice but fake or too mean but real. It's much easier to do the former. Other times I've talked with people and I've told them something that I did that made me feel like a mean person, but they told me I wasn't being mean at all so IDK. I'm open to advice if anyone wants to give it!

[@morgansmith1930]

Hey! I've got a similar situation - also INFP who learned to socialize like INFJ. It's really rough - I'm sorry it's been causing problems for you; feeling like you're molded to everyone else is the worst. I really hope things get better soon. I don't know if this would help at all, but one thing that helped me a bit was practicing using tentative language, like, "It kind of seems to me that [insert thoughts]," or "I wonder if it's this..." Following up my view with a qualifier like "I seriously could be wrong about that" or "What do you think?", especially when it's something important to the other person, really seems to help (even if I'm pretty sure I'm right), and it helps keep me open to other ideas I might not have thought of. That way, we say what we think, but still leave enough room for the other person's perspective :) And I get the impression I've said something mean so much! Usually, the person I said it to doesn't remember, or didn't hear it in a bad way. I theorize it might have to do with me knowing the bad intentions behind the remark and assuming that everyone else felt it, too. That might just be me, though. I've been told (by my INFJ mom) that people are a lot tougher than we tend to think, so even if we offend them sometimes, it isn't usually nearly as bad as we think it is. We are the sensitive type ;) Not sure if that made any sense, haha. It's something I still struggle with, so I'd love any reverse advice, too! But I hope you're able to be more yourself with everyone soon. Hugs and prayers from England!

[@treasuredwisp]

@@morgansmith1930 Hi Morgan! Thanks a bunch for the advice. You are so kind and I'm grateful you can understand how I've been feeling. I will definitely try incorporating those techniques in my conversations with others. It is such a relief to hear your own experience with the issue. Thanks again! Right back at ya with those hugs and prayers!

[@myblissfullife]

As an INFJ, I know that sometimes people think I'm disingenuous but NOT TRUE! For every person, I try to find something good to help them feel better about themselves (the world can be so mean these days, everybodyneeds it). I also have a selfish reason. When I focus on the positive, I can stay in the state of those good feeling endorphins!

[@CaveyMoth]

2:17 "I want someone who will abandon me!" How dare you call INTPs out like that.

[@beatricerodehav5447]

INFJ here. I've had a problem related to this. So I've realized before I knew my type that I was being "fake" and just saying whatever so people would be satisfied and stop talking to me and I tried fixing that by being genuine and speaking my opinion sometimes, but the reaction I get is like they really, like REALLY, liked my opinion and that makes me so uncomfortable🤣 So like, should I be genuine or not??? The reaction I got was so over -the-top while I was just sharing surface-level stuff? Is it really a good idea to share any more than this? I don't want to feel anymore weird than this...

[@lana.dalo2]

man, i really love your videos, keep up the good work 💪

[@soabiaa]

I’m an ENFP and my twin sis is an INFJ. We understand each other like nobody else though she gets tired of me sometimes but it’s ok:)))

[@apollofan1019]

As an ISFJ, I actually get to build myself a little by little, when people tell me what I like to do I tell them:I like to draw, my favourite hanging spot is around that cafe, I dream to become that, my views are these.. (i am bitchless). Still tho I'll always be insecure as I stress myself if anything about me isn't of the top pleasure of that person, and kinda get scared to actually bring myself up in the discussion, depending on the person.

[@youngcrone456]

My best friend is an ENFP and I have never once felt like her backup plan. Probably because we have always lived geographically far apart and have always had to plan what we do together.

[@xMariki]

I feel that with ISTP. My EX was one and he was a very good car mechanic and he built his whole personality up on this 😪 Cars here, Engines there and barely no other topic to talk about 😴 that's why I left him, as an ENFP it was waaay to boring and onesided, I couldn't stand it anymore 😅

[@Dorfelsnorf]

Honestly it feels like the red thread here is to be aware of your weakness and don't get absorbed in it, makes sense.