How Conscious Communication Can Change Your Game | Jem Fuller | TEDxDerryLondonderryStudio

“In our modern world of public shaming and cancel culture, more and more people are shouting at each other across the digital divides of difference. True communication is becoming a forgotten art, an art that is the key to creating the solutions.”
Jem is a leadership coach and author, working with executive and senior leaders across government, private and not-for-profit sectors. He also takes people to remote regions of the Himalaya, Indonesia and North-Western Australia on his life-enhancing self-leadership programs.
Through Jem’s colourful and global life, as a barefoot backpacker, tattooist and teacher, fire-dancer and volunteer, labourer, healer and also leader in the corporate world, he has become passionate about our ability to practise more conscious communication - building bridges across difference and harnessing the power of diversity.
His first published book, The Art of Conscious Communication for Thoughtful Men, focusses on improving the ability for men to access their emotions, allow more vulnerability, and deepen their relationships both personally and professionally. You can find his book at www.jemfuller.com
Jem is a leadership coach, author and speaker, working with executive and senior leaders across government, private and not-for-profit sectors. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@saturnsrings3608]

The notion that communication is the pathway to nurturing relationships deeply resonates with me. It reminds me of the importance of investing time and effort in maintaining meaningful connections with loved ones.

[@lacylahoma]

There's no one size fits all recipe to overcome grief....gut wrenching to have two deaths to close together.

[@mymotivationsnow]

The mention of communication as a means to manifest ideas into reality is a powerful concept. It highlights the transformative potential that lies within effective communication and the ability to inspire change.

[@lornabalanag]

The plea to move away from online bickering and focus on the bigger problems facing humanity really resonated with me. It's time for us to unite and communicate constructively to find solutions - arguing with people in comment sections really is the opposite of that isn't it?

[@f.c.illslick1488]

I agree Jem making an effort to learn a few words in the local language shows your willingness to meet others half way.

[@jemfuller5057]

such a simple but powerful gesture huh!

[@QuackGal]

conscious communication as an 'art'.... interesting perspective. It reminds us that effective communication requires skill, practice, and a genuine intention to connect! Consistently. Perseverance pays off!

[@carlasteadman]

Definitely agree about how the lack of communication brings disconnect. I think back to my first serious relationship and how it completely deteriorated because there just wasn't any communication happening.

[@jemfuller5057]

so simple but so powerful huh. and not always easy to do.

[@josuelepiere]

change your game, outlook, community, relationships, career prospects... HUGE GAME CHANGER

[@thenextbigthingishere]

I was deeply moved by this personal story of loss and grief. It reminded me of the power of raw emotions and how they can shape our communication in profound ways.

[@svetlanavstarceva]

For me it was important to start recognizing the difference between values and opinions. You can have differing opinions but share the same values. I find differences in values much harder to overcome, however.

[@leotencall]

This discussion needed to have started several generations ago, our society is still feeling the torment from toxic masculinity.

[@jemfuller5057]

Yes, such a shame huh. All we can do is start these conversations now, huh. My book, The Art of Conscious Communication for Thoughtful Men, is a guide to helping more healthy masculinity.

[@be-present-now]

I know it was brief but the things he mentioned about people yelling at each other through screens is pretty spot on. Even just limiting the contact we have with our loved ones to screen time is pretty detrimental

[@BraithBamkin]

I’ve known Jem for many years and I can vouch that he lives what he speaks. Great to see you take your ideas and style to the global stage.

[@matTveshka]

My children appreciate time spent with their grand parents hearing stories of what life was like before mobiles and emails. When communicating was all about talking and listening.

[@jemfuller5057]

I love this. My children are lucky enough to have their grandmother live with us. This multi-generational connection is so important. Happy for you. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼

[@1henrythomas]

Yes Jem! The bit about identity politics and public shaming resonated with me. We need to move beyond shouting matches and truly listen to each other! Even if it's confronting, even if we don't agree, surely we can attempt to understand!!!

[@vivianpatgreen]

Couldn't agree more Jem, it's so important to step back from your ego and expectations of what the other person means/feels and just create the space for open, honest and conscious dialogue!!

[@jemfuller5057]

Thank you Vivian. So important huh.

[@viccromtron]

I really enjoyed Jem's talk with it's positive message of how we can impact the younger generation and open ourselves to cultural diversity.

[@jemfuller5057]

thanks Vic

[@kiarakillian]

I must be super emotional today because this is the THIRD ted talk that has made me teary within the first three minutes.

[@jemfuller5057]

hi Kiara. I'm glad my talk connected with you and you felt the emotion. I hope you're OK.

[@paigelpatterson]

As a young person, I believe in the power of communication to create positive change. Let's embrace diversity and work together for a brighter future.

[@vickycristena]

the dangers of echo chambers and confirmation bias on social media is a thought-provoking reminder of how our communication is influenced by algorithms. It's essential to break free from these cycles and seek diverse perspectives

[@cooltidbits]

Wow. How special is it that such a wide community stepped up for you and your Mum...

[@rachstulen]

Jem, this is a beautiful talk. I think it's important to keep in mind that for some people, the things they hold onto is what keeps them afloat.... So many people come from dysfunctional upbringings and have never experienced the connection you and your family were raised in. It is going to take a lot of continued resources to keep breaking the cycles that have wired a lot of people to hold onto their opinions to stay afloat.

[@jemfuller5057]

This is so true. Thank you for taking the time to share and bring this into the conversation. I think a lot of us are not even aware that we are holding on to experiences/ideas/beliefs that are not serving us anymore.

[@heartofthunder1440]

Yes, communication is “key” but here’s what I see going on in the world today, everyone is in their own world, working off the subconscious mind instead of the conscious mind. That right there is one of the worst things a person can do at any age, that means you stopped learning new things, and you’re comfortable with the normal, and it doesn’t need to be that way, especially if you want change in your life towards a better future.

[@coopercrank]

My condolences on the passing of your dad and brother within a short space of time. Thank you for sharing your story with honesty and vulnerability.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Cooper. I appreciate you taking the time to message me and communicate 🙏🏼

[@mirandacarr]

Being able to hold space for others' regardless of their views or beliefs is something so special in todays age.

[@tabithalowdon3795]

So much richness in less than 11 minutes

[@lizettesimon478]

This needs to be seen by a lot of people, I am sharing.

[@jemfuller5057]

thank you Lizette

[@donschuster]

Well-said, Jem. Some valuable ideas in this talk.

[@duncanhopp938]

This is such a great talk Jem, thank you. Not enough people are having conversations like the type you're talking about and even though we're the most connected we've ever been, the world feels more cold and harsh than ever before.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks for taking the time top comment, Duncan. We need to be connecting with each other more now than ever before and talking about the important stuff

[@ethanblack6413]

Teaching the next generation about conscious communication is a call to action that we should all heed. It's never too late to guide our young ones toward more effective and compassionate ways of interacting.

[@shaeelise9]

Good on you, Jem! So great to see you gracing the TEDx stage with your wonderful wisdom.

[@morgannfields]

this reminded me of a friend's family i use to hang out with after school - they were always talking about stuff. when i first started hanging there i remember thinking "surely they're going to blow up any second..." but nope, even when he would argue with his folks, they all like...got it? and talked each other down? it was really cool. a lot like what this guy is talking about i think. i like it.

[@thegreatemilianosantiago]

Yes, it is so important to be aware when you interact with those around you. Be intentional and deliberate with the words you choose.

[@carlasteadman]

Yes and also with the way you listen.

[@jemfuller5057]

words are powerful huh...

[@rooseveltmartens9918]

I can't help but admire Jem's idealism. Like he actually thinks that the solution to all those problems can be found by people working together and communicating openly. Cute.

[@lifedeathpsychicseth]

This is incredible. Teaching the next generation matters ❤❤❤ to connect with as many as possible, consider new experiences, and explore all opportunities.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thank you Seth

[@ronaepstien]

thank you for sharing this story with us, Jem!

[@jemfuller5057]

you're welcome, Rona

[@brittaniecrum]

I was having a very heated discussion with some people from my socials class and they told me that I was being idealistic by pushing for "conscious communication", sending this to them now!!

[@tabithalowdon3795]

You are brilliant Jem. So important, this conversation. I have so much admiration!

[@gabrielivar]

"Loosen your grip, open your mind, remain curious." This is really great advice Jem, not just for communication but for perspective in general. Thank you.

[@jemfuller5057]

thank you

[@successonpurposeau]

So beautiful Jem! What an inspiration you are.

[@lucasgovenerst]

Wow Jem it sounds like as well as the heartbreak you've had a lot of incredible experiences, it's a joy to hear you speak from all of them

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Lucas. Truly hoping my stories connect and inspire more positive change for humanity

[@myadanco]

This is a great talk and it makes me feel grateful for knowing about this kind of communication for a while

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Mya. So nice to know there are others out there who get it.

[@keithpotter7366]

The sense of community your family created is something so beautiful!!

[@jemfuller5057]

thank you

[@richardmstone]

Absolutely brilliant talk Jem well done and most definitely an idea with sharing.

[@corrinapryce-davies6962]

Thank you for sharing your story, Jem. Great presentation.

[@raejenson]

I teared up hearing how so many people came to help you and your Mother as you grieved. So special

[@jemfuller5057]

thank you Rae. It really was quite special and we feel very grateful

[@sammyllee]

Communication has always been vital, and it's disheartening to see it becoming a forgotten art. We must pass on the value of communication to future generations.

[@crispinamarybush]

Excellent Job ! Thank you so much for your calm and clear delivery. Just sharing my thoughts I think we are afraid to open our mind for fear we would change our minds. We must all realize that if we all change then the world will change.

[@buzzboxes]

Mmmm he makes a great point about how easy it is to lose yourself in the heat of an argument. This is something I've been trying to work on, to not get carried away emotionally when I'm trying to get my point across.

[@happyriley]

Yeah can definitely be tricky not letting your emotions flare up at the worst possible time...

[@hadlieghbaxter]

I really needed to hear this today, it is the truth ... thank you Jem!

[@jemfuller5057]

you're welcome

[@Iambuckandrews]

This is a great perspective on communication. Love it.

[@jemfuller5057]

cheers Buck

[@KingsMom831]

Thank you for sharing your family’s story🙏

[@johnniecass4246]

Jem so great to see you sharing your message and what a great and powerful message. Thx for being a voice! Loved this

[@bellemaba]

This is not what I would have expected from a leadship coach, it is better. We can lead much better through empathy than through control.

[@jemfuller5057]

thank you Belle

[@emmalineproductions]

Beautifully articulated Jem, I agree, it’s not too late for humanity to develop the healthy skill set of conscious and emotionally intelligent communication, thank you for your courage to share 🙏🏽

[@samlane6584]

Articulate, flawless and well delivered presentation Jem. Outstanding stuff!

[@happyriley]

Appreciated this talk and the point Jem made that we need to collaborate and communicate to solve the worlds problems... Hopefully that can be achieved 💪💪

[@unlimitedmindsetsolutions8783]

Beautifully said Jem. Very inspiring. 👏

[@samarnan]

He absolutely nails it around the 4:00 mark, especially the part about teaching the next generation. It's awful how the comments section of anything has created this animosity between generations where the older thinks the younger are entitled cry-babies and the younger thinks the older are close-minded bigots. Doesn't make for much resolution on anything.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Sam. So true

[@yehloeme3935]

This is a great talk about communication.

[@jemfuller5057]

cheers bro

[@karenmcdermott885]

Fabulous talk!!! Yay Jem.

[@avrilblay206]

Thank you Jem - important ideas well said.

[@damienneylon3185]

Thankyou jem.

[@RhaenyrA908]

Great words

[@meghnaacharya3247]

Absolutely beautiful

[@garybriandoherty7299]

Well done Jem

[@harryhandsome7638]

Oh absolutely it's so difficult to choose your words wisely when your emotions are flailing all over the place. Best to just keep silent. Feel the feelings sure but just... don't speak from that place.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks for this Harry. Sometimes best to just feel the feelings and save the words for later huh. Responding rather than reacting.

[@jamesperry2019]

Thank you Jem

[@darkclouds3320]

spending time off the internet is important. The more people I talk to in person the more it becomes clear that a lot of the bickering that occurs online due to anonymity or semi-anonymity isn't actually as present in the offline world.

[@jemfuller5057]

So true

[@ulisseditaque]

3:00 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@christopherccooper]

3:00 🙌🙌

[@piperdee8965]

As good as the idea is, I wonder if teens would really value a 'conscious communication' class. Sometimes I think these lessons are best learnt through first-hand experience as it's hard to pass on the real importance to someone who hasn't seen the consequence of NOT doing so.

[@IAmScoobeyDamIt]

If your game has so far been zombie mode then yeah it's pretty easy for it to change with actual presence and awareness

[@jemfuller5057]

Yes Scoobey... presence and awareness

[@brewsterdd]

I wonder why it's so hard to open up without something bad happening first. Like if you talk about feelings that are unsettling and can't put a specific event or reason to them it's like people don't want to hear it. Sometimes things just feel off and when you can't explain why people get frustrated.

[@jemfuller5057]

That's a good observation. We could get better at just listening with genuine care and curiosity when someone says they don't feel right, but are not sure why.

[@sammorrison8042]

this guy is spiral dynamics green-yellow

[@thegreatemilianosantiago]

what does this mean?

[@aurorafontez]

Mmmmm cultural consideration is HUGE in terms of communication. Even the way people ascribe different meaning to the same word can cause unnecessary issues

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Aurora. This is so true.

[@sienaredders]

Good thoughts, these days communication is normally arguing, yelling and insulting.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thanks Siena. Hopefully together we can improve conversations

[@natashafederov]

'Cancel culture' is a distracting and vague buzzword, but the message here is good.

[@nadyazt]

yeah I can't stand when people use that phrase without explaining what they mean by it

[@oguzkaanuremis]

This seems easy in idea but putting it in actual use, I don't know

[@jemfuller5057]

Hey Oguz. Yep, sometimes it's easier said than done. With practise, we can get better.

[@orlageary5104]

Yeah oath Jem it's crazy how divided everyone seems, almost like it's on purpose 🤔

[@jemfuller5057]

hmmmm, get's you thinking huh

[@emmatshields]

I look around the USA, and I see too many hurdles to climb to find consciousness, I mean, being woke is being used as an insult now.

[@schellecandar]

yeah, very sad

[@m8s777]

Damn Jem some of this is so dramatic. I get it but just because there's no communication doesn't mean it's all 'no resolution and perishing in the void' - sometimes there's just silence, and that's okay.

[@jemfuller5057]

Thank you. Yes I agree. Sometimes the most beautiful communication is in silence :)

[@noahjerted]

Yeah but so many people are actually just idiots? Like the energy spent trying to talk to them is a literal waste. Not everyone is deserving of your time and effort.

[@streetwise5574]

This is good, but is it practical, with the world at odds between countries, an inflation rate forcing people from their homes, this talk is all nice but is it practical?