How Do I Handle Manipulation and Control

Parents sometimes find that their child is prone to use manipulative and controlling behaviors.
Watch as Dr. Karyn Purvis and Michael Monroe offer insights to help parents better understand these behaviors and respond effectively.

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I like that thought process I want my child to know that they do not have to manipulate to get what they want

[@kimbaker8536]

As an parent of a child from a hard place, this concept was very hard for me to understand. I thank the heavens above I was directed to those that could help my child and us! I could shout from the rooftops so all parents, teachers, and anyone involved would try to open their minds and hearts to a different way of thinking. Thank you Ms. Karen Purvis for your work and dedication!!

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

That’s the first step opening our minds and hearts to a different way of doing things

[@annacoben466]

“You just get to be a little boy today” 🥺 god I wish I heard that more growing up

[@letsgrowadoption9032]

What beautiful insight into the mind of children who have faced difficult environments and situations and how to ultimately connect with them and meet their needs.

[@davidk349]

Children who feel that they are not known to their parents will try lots of things to get on their parents’ radar. Their parents interpret this as a problem, but it is really the child just looking for a solution to get their own legitimate needs. And the whole thing goes on without either party realizing it.

[@PsychologyProf]

I am crying sobbing to watch this.

[@denisebautista580]

PsychologyProf her voice when she talked to hungry kid about going to the kitchen really made my eyes welt

[@laurae8127]

I love it when real examples are used. Thank you.

[@TTT-kl9zr]

Thank you for sharing these excellent videos.

[@csapoorva]

There is so much to learn from you... i wish I could personally meet you to understand the finest ways to be a parent.

[@ashleymorrison7950]

Wow, these videos are awesome!!!

[@PaperMario64]

This is so true.

[@AStarryEyedLife]

Amazing insight

[@cherb8022]

Get parental ego out of the way and get to the heart of their need.

[@juanitahilliard4534]

Such an amazing insight what you can learn on by watching these videos

[@saidfarid6382]

Hello professor Thank you so much for your help and advice. I really appreciate your job. I wish you peace and happiness under the sky of prosperity. All the best. Take care and have a good time. Your follower from Algeria.

[@mdmmalou]

The older you get, the more you realize that control has no function... I think. Life is always different than your wishes or wants. Why? Because every form of control is an illusion, and prison you. The best way to prevent this is to live in the here and now and accept we can't control. In this respect, we can learn everything from our children.

[@mdmmalou]

Control is purely caused by conditioning. If children check excessively, this is due to the controlling ánd munipulative behavior of their parents. If you as parents lovelingly explain the "why questions" of children well, there is nothing to check or control for a child. They'll understand.

[@es8117]

Great video. Just goes to show how poor parenting can lead to manipulation.

[@kayfri4708]

Uniformed parenting or without a consciously well executed plan. If it was common sense stuff ( which it seems it is and should be ) than problem behaviour resulting from uniformed parenting wouldn't be the norm. Most people whom have taken TBRI say it has changed their family life and the way they do things. Until you know....you don't know. I don't like the herm "poor parenting" because it's shaming. We are all mostly running off the programming we were taught from our own parents. Only with Brian scam imaging and and huge steps in understanding the process of thd brain have we begun to really understand the results of trauma stress and conflict.

[@es8117]

@@kayfri4708 I agree we tend to do what we know. But there is always the opportunity to do something different, even that small tweak can change the course of parenting. What term would you use instead of 'poor parenting' if that is the reality underneath?

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Wow children must have appropriate control

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Thank you so much for these insights

[@Star-dj1kw]

✅️

[@olivelillies]

stop minimizing it -

[@deborahhoffman7394]

I love your message, but do not like the baby talk. I feel it is better to talk to them in a dignified manner because they will take us more seriously.

[@Antnj81]

Deborah Hoffman agreed

[@robbfaller]

I thought she sounded tender.

[@martelljhixson]

More dignified???...stop judging folks.

[@amyunkefer4963]

Depends on the age (emotional and chronological) of the child. Karyn uses 'baby talk' when a child needs to have their preciousness conveyed to them. I agree. We wouldn't want to dip too far down into a condescending tone with a disregulated teen. There are lots of factors. The point is to remain calm, stay connected and avoid punitive authoritarian behaviors. Total Voice Control is explained in other ETC videos. Check them out. There is also a TBRI for teens video on the TCU ICD website.

[@jjandb1]

@@amyunkefer4963 Yes! Tone is a huge communicative tool for young children. When a tone conveys nurturing patience this speaks safety to a child. I love that you use "preciousness" as another message it communicates. No, we would not speak to a 14 year old like this, but the four year old knows this is a loving, safe message. Exaggerated tone of voice is used in most cultures with young children.

[@donnadumplings]

How can you not be on Oprah

[@olivelillies]

you shouldnt have to

[@henridesalieres]

How to handle control and manipulation is by ignoring those people, avoid their phone calls, avoid contact with them.

[@Vicvines]

That's not what the video is about. It's a great video.

[@Antnj81]

Patrick not really. This video does nothing but tell parents that in order to get their kids to stop manipulating, they need to "get down to their kid's level" and pander to them with baby talk. This advice sounds good in theory, but it's not realistic for most children/situations

[@ginnyryan8893]

@@Antnj81 I disagree. It's alot harder for a child who's been through trauma to understand something that an otherwise 'normal' child might. Child with trauma need to feel connection before they can learn. Hope you can understand that

[@stevecastleberry4494]

Anyone out there have a pick-up truck? I`m moving this weekend to Washington. I dont have a license + I sprained my tendon, but I`ll drive it if you do the lifting & rent it. That sounds fair to me ...

[@matthewmdm1639]

Steve Castleberry yes ..... I'm on my way lol

[@Antnj81]

Steve Castleberry hey I know it's ten months later, but do you still need a ride? I can fly over in my jet after I'm done playing golf with Tiger Woods

[@Antnj81]

Predictability is indeed how a child manipulates. In fact, my mom has tried all this hippy feelings and sunshine BS and it didn't work at all. Plus, my brother doesn't come from a bad home at all - he's been very spoiled by all his family, in fact. Also, getting to the child's level is wrong. All that does is demote and undermines the parent's position of authority, to the child - it tells the child that you and he are equals and why should a child take advice/guidance from an equal? I think in a perfect world, this gentle foo-foo talk might work but, in the real world, kid's use this approach to springboard and practice their manipulative technique from. I honestly feel like this is the Amway of parenting advice 😞

[@jacquelynnjones1372]

The book “parenting from the inside out” may be of help. It is based on brain science. Karen Purvis is highly skilled in how to rebuild attachment with children through a concept termed integration. It is the process of validating the child’s experience, emotions and needs while applying appropriate boundaries and natural consequences. It is a tender and consistency way of nurturing a child, a precious impressionable creation. Authority is a state of being and a title, not a method. I am an authority figure vs an authoritarian. I hope this helps clarify the science behind her methods and the incredible impact applying these methods in parenting can have on a child. It’s beautiful and Godly. ♥️

[@tarakelley726]

Agreed a million percent antnj