“How Do I Help My Child Be More Aggressive In Jiu Jitsu?”

[@OliverConradOrtega]

Been searching the internet for this level of advice

[@alvarezbjj]

Thanks for watching! Wish you and your child the best. Stick with it.

[@brandonbeasley8662]

I needed to hear this my daughter been training for 2 years they just stated really rolling rolling bout 9 months ago. I honestly tonight was thinking of taking her out. When she is aggressive she does great but that's and big when.... I'll let it keep rolling around

[@alvarezbjj]

Yes, just give her more time. I have a student named Nick that is 16 years old. He has been with me since he was 5. He would always get beat in class. He was small and just a really nice kid. Now he’s 190 lbs. Still really nice and respectful but he’s a beast. He’s won quite a few gold medals this year. That wasn’t the case in his earlier years. If we take the gold medals and competition aspect out of it, he just understands how to use his jiu jitsu now. Just takes time. Wish you both the best. Keep me posted in the future. Take care.

[@tiffanywilliams194]

I needed to hear this for my son and myself. Neither of us are very aggressive and we both have been doing jiu jitsu for 8 months. Still waiting for our inner beasts to make an appearance and for things to "click". I appreciate the reassurance and hope.

[@alvarezbjj]

Just takes time. Stick with it. Wish both of you the best

[@neuroidcastle]

Really, really good points. Sitting in this position now as a parent and talking w/ my SO regularly about what to do. Thanks professor for sharing your thoughts on this!

[@alvarezbjj]

Very welcome! Thanks for watching.

[@coolwill5241]

Fantastic advice man. I just put my kid in Jiu jitsu, and I needed to hear this.

[@alvarezbjj]

Very welcome!

[@gloriuos14]

Update: I promised to keep you posted. I've implemented your P.C.P. method. A year later.. she had a couple of demo's , a couple of sparringday competitions and last month she had her first serieus fight, she lost on points, but she stood her ground. Your method worked!! Thanks again brother and good luck with your channel and everything you do. Sincerely, a proud father. I needed this brother! I will have more patience with my 9 year old daughter, she's been doing kickboxing for over a year, she knows the basics, sometimes in sparring i can see she got it, but it's not consistent and when i train her, she does most of it right, the techniques, the agression, but as soon she's in her gym, she being sloppy again, and sometimes holds back when sparring with a kid that competes, i need her to be more aggressive/ assertive and competitive, because she got a good heart, and she's going to need to protect her heart when getting older. But thanks for the video, i will be more patient. Saludos brother

[@alvarezbjj]

Very welcome! Just takes time. It will all come together for her as long as you keep her in it and use the P.C.P method which Praise what she did good at, correct what needs needs to be corrected then praise her again at the end. Wish both of you the best! Keep me posted.

[@gloriuos14]

@@alvarezbjj Thank you for responding and the advice! I will defenitly inplement the P.C.P. method. I will keep you posted. I wish you and your channel the best to . Saludos brother.

[@robyne112]

This video was really helpful thank you. My son has been training since he was 5 but last year he got bumped up to a more competitive team where everyone was suddenly as good as him and better and it got a little tougher for him. He is really just not enjoying get beat right now, psychologically I think he is also struggling with the shift from what was "fun" before to a more serious competitive class and is even asking to quit but when we roll at home he enjoys it immensely so we will keep pushing until it clicks for him.

[@robyne112]

(He was 8 when he got bumped up)

[@adrianpaulden1022]

Great advice! I really needed to hear this. OSS

[@alvarezbjj]

Thanks for watching and commenting! 💯

[@hayleyjay4795]

I've kept myself up late after watching my son immediately and repeatedly take up the submissive position today. This video could not have been more helpful. Thank you so much 🙏

[@alvarezbjj]

Very welcome! It’s tough. I have a daughter that is a Black Belt that has been training about 14 years now so as a parent I know what it feels like. I also still coach and watch my students go through their own transitions on daily basis. Just keep the positive reinforcement going and he will get there.

[@hayleyjay4795]

@@alvarezbjj Thank you. It was very difficult to watch. He himself didn't seem bothered by it at all, that probably upset me more. He is a very easy going, friendly kid and he never wants to cause harm to anybody, even if it means not defending himself. I sometimes worry that I've unintentionally caused that and done him a disservice. I completely agree with your comments about preparing kids for the real world, so thanks again for the advice and clarity. I was feeling unsure as to what I should do, but we will stick with it and I'll be sure to keep up the positive reinforcement as you said. ✌

[@ibra_gx]

Great advise! Thanks

[@alvarezbjj]

Thank you! Thanks for watching

[@prabhusub]

What happens to my well built 7 year old is he tends to panic and blank out when someone mounts on him .. he is otherwise quite intelligent but somehow during competitive sport he just gives up at the first instance

[@stevenrichards7975]

Thanks for a fantastic video. I have a 7 year old who has been doing Ju Jitsu for just over a year, However it's only in the last month where he has moved into the age bracket to do sparring. You see him performing the exercises and he is on a par if not better than some of the others, but he is getting beat all the time in sparring. Even against the children who moved up with him and you would think were roughly level on skills. I think this video hits the nail on the head as to why this might be happening. I don't like to watch the sparring and hence my child attends the class alone for all the reasons mentioned in this video. On his part he doesn't like getting beat all the time but he seems determined to want to get better and beat them. He has asked me to practice with him so I wanted to know what you thought about us watching a couple of ju jitsu take downs on youtube together and letting him practice those take downs on me? He is getting more down about losing as time goes on but I will encourage him to keep continuing after watching this video. Thanks again.

[@alvarezbjj]

Thanks for watching. I think working with him on takedowns or whatever else he needs help with will be a tremendous help. I think it will encourage him to keep trying. As he starts to hits certain techniques he will start to build confidence and momentum on those small victories which will lead into bigger ones.

[@stevenrichards7975]

@@alvarezbjj Thanks for replying, I will help him as much as I can.

[@stevenrichards7975]

@@alvarezbjj just to give you an update. It wasn't too long after your video that I began to see the phases you mentioned. The person who he moved up with kept tapping him out to the point he didn't want to face him. However one day he came out and he said he was determined to get him next time and his manner told me he was serious. Since then it is his him who is consistently tapping out the other guy, the good thing is they are still the best of friends within the group so even though he was determined it is good to know it's within the confines of the sport. I have decided to watch him once a month to give me a chance to see his improvements rather than going every day where they might not be so obvious. When I did watch he really tried hard and had a guy who is talented and has a years more experience in big trouble. He did eventually get tapped out but it was a great effort. I would like to thank you again for giving me the peace of mind of letting him stick with it. I now don't worry as much when he is doing it.

[@alvarezbjj]

@@stevenrichards7975 that’s awesome! Thanks for the update. Very happy for him. It’s a process for sure but it’s a very beneficial process. It’s priceless. We have to go through hard things to find out who we are inside. The earlier in age the better. Cheering for him to have more success on the mats and in life.

[@trentsimms1915]

Great advice! Like you say some kids have difference morals.

[@alvarezbjj]

Thank you! Thanks for watching

[@delilahjones6496]

My son has no aggression. He has been doing jiu jitsu for 3 years. Due to his ADHD and not discovering the right meds until he was almost already 3 years in, his jiu jitsu skills are poor. I just recently forced him into a local tournament to give it a try. He was terrible. No aggression, poor technique. Lost all four matches, cried during one which is verbal tap, came to me for hugs and more crying after every single match. So, you say this aggression came out of kids after only a year of training? Well, my son's 3 years in and nothing yet. I'm literally waiting for puberty to hit at this point and praying/crossing my fingers that he will get sick and tired of being "nice" and getting his butt kicked all the time, and crying about it all the time, and do that 180 and have that animal come out of him. But until then, I'mm frustrated to hell with my child and his lack of aggression. I just make it a point not to watch him during class anymore nor talk to him about how BJJ class was because almost anytime I do that he uses it as an opportunity to whine to mommy about some kid who "hurt" him no more or less than the other kids hurt each other all the time or that comes with the territory of BJJ. He is 12 years old. Puberty is around the corner and so is that testosterone. Until then, keeping my fingers crossed that you're right.

[@alvarezbjj]

I understand that’s tough to watch and tough to deal with. It’s tough to deal with that as a coach. It sucks watching kids and even Adults go through that. Hang in there. Im sure he will have a breakthrough sooner than later.

[@delilahjones6496]

@@alvarezbjj Appreciate that. He's in jiu jitsu for lots of reasons, not necessarily for competition. I plan on coming back here in a few years after he goes through puberty to comment on whether or not he changes. But I do appreciate this video and the encouraging words you said.