How Do I Talk About Divorce With My Kids? | Therapy & Theology

Whether you've gone through it personally or been deeply affected by it, divorce is heartbreaking. It can also be challenging to navigate conversations and dynamics with kids, friends, and others as you walk through the changes that come from the death of a marriage.
This episode is a part of the newest season of Therapy & Theology: "You Asked ... We're Answering." Through podcast reviews, direct messages on social media, and more, Lysa TerKeurst; Licensed Professional Counselor Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries' Director of Theological Research, Dr. Joel Muddamalle, collected your most asked questions. Now they're spending an entire season answering!
Related Resources:
- Download the free Listener Guide for this episode! Complete with statements to hold on to and scriptures to call to mind, this guide will help you apply what you learned in this conversation. proverbs31.org/read/resource-...
- Stop navigating difficult relationships alone, and utilize the biblical and therapeutic wisdom inside Lysa TerKeurst's book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are. Order your copy today! www.p31bookstore.com/products...
- Stay connected with Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress and Dr. Joel Muddamalle on Instagram.
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- Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women in the middle of their busy days through free devotions; podcasts; speaking events; conferences; resources; Bible studies; and training in the call to write, speak and lead others. Learn more by visiting our website! proverbs31.org/?...
0:00 Intro
00:53 How do I talk to my kids about divorce?
02:54 What do the kids already know?
05:52 Sometimes there just aren’t good answers
08:15 Just keep them talking
10:03 How to talk about divorce with your parents or church community
13:49 Privacy vs Secrecy
16:24 You can inform without explaining everything.
18:02 The deepest grief I’ve ever known
18:44 Is it possible to not pick sides in a divorce?

[@AlfredAdam-df2xp]

Thank for your insight ❤helps me 100%

[@cindianacruz1035]

Thanks Lysa for your wisdom and honesty in addressing these issues. The support from Joel and Jim. Rightly said death of a marriage for the one affected but it involves the children too. Someone has commented as to how the children have been used as scapegoats and are left confused. Unfortunately even christian circles don't know how to deal with this.

[@JennnyS0675]

(I apologize if this is the wrong place to request this but I couldn't find a messaging area. So sorry!) May I request a show addressing sociopaths/antisocial personality disorder, please? For those who do not know, sociopaths are one step above the narcissistic personality disorder (as if it can get worse), and the very opposite of "antisocial." To me, the name "sociopath" is much more appropriate because these are very social individuals bc by being expert socializers they can lure people in to take anything and EVERYTHING they can from their prey (victim). Even taking from their own children - with zero guilt or remorse. Once done taking until nothing's left, they leave their victim severely abused in every way, stranded, broken, confused, broke, and twisted mentally feeling like it is all their own fault. The damage they leave behind is like an F5 tornado. Literally. Sociopaths are expert conmen. I have witnessed a sociopath con some very respectable, Godly men in a Holy Spirit-filled, life-giving, growing large church. The destruction sociopaths do to their own families/children is indescribable and sickening. And they do not stick around for the aftermath of all they have caused bc they've already moved on to the next person(s) they can victimize and devastate. I really believe the church doesn't talk about this very real evil running rampant today, deceiving good-intended, loving, trusting people of God, who are being beaten down by someone who promised to love them and they trusted to do so. Instead, sociopaths leave their victims sitting in severe verbal, emotional, and physical abuse with nowhere to turn bc nobody believes the "crazy" stories they have experienced. Only someone who has been abused by a sociopath and survived can truly understand. These victims need the church to turn to for urgent help. They need strong men and women of faith in the church who can relate and/or are trained specifically with this type of severe abuse occurring, and then take them in to start the long process of healing and restoring. Please help!

[@freedom23812]

Thank you so for saying what you said I agree completely. I was thinking the same thing and I didn't know where to say it either. I have been through what you are talking about. And I agree we need christian content on how to handle that behavior it's on a whole different level. In being a victim of it you can feel very lost because normal advice doesn't work on that level.

[@catherinemiss6360]

I've missed these so much. Please keep doing them on a regular basis. X

[@OfficialProverbs31Ministries]

We’re glad you’re here!

[@joannah.7151]

Thank you for revisiting this topic. I've come to think of divorce as a death certificate for the marriage. Like a normal death certificate, its existence occurs after the event that it is documenting occurs.

[@ambermitchell2906]

So glad to see this topic covered. Thanks for posting.

[@OfficialProverbs31Ministries]

We’re glad you’re here!

[@deborahclavette879]

Very helpful. Thank you

[@peggycuomo1877]

I would love to have more explanation on there are two sides to the story. Because when a person hears only one person's version of what is going on, there is another side, or maybe it should be there is the other person's version! Help!

[@juliegamby4363]

Thank you for this!

[@OfficialProverbs31Ministries]

Thanks for watching!

[@msdee2905]

It would be best and the right thing for husband and wife to tell the kids and parents about the divorce together. Pray and use wisdom. The kids and parents will have an opinion no matter what you tell them.