How do narcissists feel when you finally walk away | The Narcissists' Code Ep 828

[@bonitajolie9341]

When I left my ex 9 years ago, I did not tell him a thing... I also did not tell friends or family because a lot of people have big mouths!! He came home and I was gone. I did not take any furniture or any of his things. I just wanted out!! That was the best decision I ever made. 9 years later I encountered him and he is still the SAME person! Thank you Lord, I'm free!!🙏🙌

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@makiobombo1992]

I admire you ❤️

[@floralyimo7907]

Did the same...and it feels extremely awesome and is such a greatest WIN!!

[@joancrawford1146]

I left but I did take my things with me. I had to turn the cameras off and on she he wouldn’t find out. A nosey neighbor told him and his flying monkey mom came over bc he was “worried” and I wasn’t answering the phone. She created and enabled him for 46 years. He’s stalking me now and threatening me but you know it’s a civil issue!

[@soulfooddiana8497]

I did the same and he can't believe it cause he thought I would never leave ..#stayfree

[@saelaverdad8183]

Choosing me was the hardest decision I've ever made.

[@MentalHealness]

💪

[@bellydown29]

Yes. So heavy to leave him by himself but eventually had to chose myself.

[@YourHealthcareBFF]

BUT THE BEST DECISION ❤

[@TysonMichael77]

Me too

[@mabogayderousselle832]

Best decision I ever made choosing myself AND TOO MUCH DAMAGE TO RETURN TO THE TOXIC NARCISSIST PSYCHOPATH ⁉️😧‼️ RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

[@Zeepjeliefs]

It's weird when they discard you but still blame you for moving on with your life

[@RippleDrop.]

I know 😒

[@simplystar6601]

So very true!

[@RMoaty84]

I discarded my ex but lost my shit when she moved on even tho I didn't want her and had 3/4 new women. It's ownership not love. I'm aware of my narcissism. Narcissists are never happy nothing pleases us long term we get bored easy.

[@evelynkirishko5407]

@@RMoaty84that’s exactly how my relatives ex was. Left after multiple affairs and said “I’ll come back to you when I’m done.” She moved on and got married, and he told their kids, “who does she think she is?! I didn’t give her permission to remarry!”

[@andrewsmith3257]

Mine won't leave. He wants me to leave and after 4 years i think i will. I've dealt with some insane bullcrap

[@vikkilawson27]

I left my narc husband of 29 years 2 Wednesday's ago while he was at work & that evening he was served with divorce papers. He had no idea that I was leaving & I have cut off all contact with him. I will see him for the 1st in court in Jan. I have taken off my wedding rings, gotten a cute haircut, gone to a new church, and have an appt to get my nose pierced!! I am soooo FREE!!😁

[@emmathompson6470]

Yay good for you

[@shauntelmorris167]

Good for you sis! ❤

[@FindYourFree]

yessssssss sis! live your life!

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

I always sang that song freedom after I got divorced. 20 years ago and everything got better. My anxiety is 1/10 th of what it used to be. Thank God.

[@PamHinson]

❤

[@katieschmid1030]

I left my narc after a 20 year marriage and 5 weeks after we separated, he was already living with his new dogmeat fugly supply and telling everyone that she’s “ the love of his life”. No one falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a place to live 😂😂😂

[@vivianstewart7523]

Funny!

[@monolithicdome2104]

😂😂😂😂

[@mariaacolonn]

😮 yes. Why are they like that

[@Pyramidskies]

Omg that's my storyline lol just bananas these dumb demons get slicen diced. Narcissist bring you a heavy bucket of slander and always includebthe gaggling monkeys whom gangstalked my channel with an abundance of criticism and fake accounts. I beat them all tho, without battle. Just truth. hahaha. Lil Ole me! I.n.f.j Yaaaaay!!!! Super empathic and super WOKE. I LOVE READING THESE WARRIORS COMMENTS OF VICTORY AND NOT DEFEAT. I AM PROUD OF ALL OF YOU. YAY! thank you you rock bigman♡

[@katieschmid1030]

@@Pyramidskies they’re all the same. Horrible people who suck you dry and move on without batting an eye. I am proud of you!! We are survivors 💪

[@cassandrahenry]

Don’t be afraid to walk away from things that are not serving you. Turn pain into power ✊🏾✨

[@MentalHealness]

‼️💯🙏🏽

[@foxygirl4937]

Yes! Just because it feels good, doesn't make it good for you.

[@goldenlady1213]

❤ Great post ! Plain and simple !

[@conniemiller5125]

I am going to leave, I am going no contact. Getting new phone and NOT adding him to my contacts list. Deleting him and all his family so I can rid myself of toxic people. They are all toxic!! Getting another vehicle so he can't find me. Damn right I'll call the police! Going to get a PFA .

[@conniemiller5125]

Thank you for your videos. ❤

[@Unbreakablechic]

I am done No contact I've promised God and myself to never allow another toxic person to get that close to me again Anxiety gone, knots in my stomach gone and most nights I'm able to sleep all through the night. These people are never gonna change ya'll Run!

[@GantzGeo]

FACTS!!

[@Nidhi_Maheshwari]

👒✌🏼

[@numberone6266]

yea i feel all that but not last night after i made my decision to dead it

[@deestrings8552]

Did this relationship cause you to have anxiety

[@Lovemeorhateme313]

Amen I agree I had met a guy we connected at first it was all good all sudden he would text wyd don’t speak didn’t ask to see me or nothing. I thought if you both like each other you would wanna see that person right not him. He wasn’t calling me at all but when I bring the situation up he would say I’m not going arguing with you I said who arguing we simple having a conversation I just got tired it’s draining. And we was talking for 2.5 weeks short term so glad we didn’t get to next level . God just protective me

[@Clyde_playz-t6d]

They think you're never gonna leave , it's like a shock when you finally wake up one day and realize he don't really love you 100 percent.

[@ritabrown7002]

Or when you realize you were never loved at all 😞

[@priyanesan3299]

Finally found didn’t love 1%😨😩😨

[@hj8501]

​@@ritabrown7002❤ that's a crushed emotion to address...

[@cynthianovoselsky3511]

Is that so???

[@businessnow2499]

I did just that. Woke up one morning, minding my business, then he finally called me after months of him ignoring my calls. I decided that being friends wasn't good either! I said a few words. He mentioned that he was with another girl whom he had recently broken up with. He wanted to share the highlights of it but I canned that conversation quick because I didn't care anymore. Somebody says that they wanna unalive themselves will definitely unalive you if you are in their presence and abuse the kids too!!

[@BayouChic]

After 7 years with mine, I can spot a narcissist a mile away and I can move on immediately.

[@MentalHealness]

🏃🏼‍♂️🏃🏼‍♂️

[@tavewilliams2]

That’s what I’m doing. At first it was a battle. Now that I’ve seen Lee’s video man…this out a lot into perspective.

[@hakametal]

@@patd718 You'll feel it in your gut. They are incapable of intimacy, it will feel shallow. They will want to control EVERYTHING. They will want exclusive relationships very early and will lovebomb you at inappropriate times. You will feel it... in your gut, in your chest. You will feel that you are being used. That was everything I felt in my last relationship with my ex, I got out after 1.5 months because I'm a genuine person and I felt it. She ended up falsely accusing me of raping her, currently still ongoing. Trust your fucking gut.

[@shellebelleluvsred]

Same

[@chellotrevino7323]

@@MentalHealnessnarcissist are dangerous but empaths are more dangerous if you know what I’m talking about that’s why empaths can’t stand narcissists and narcissists cants stand empaths imma empath so we are the complete opposite of each other my ex was a narc and tried that dangerous rage with me and tried to brutally Lizzie Borden me with a hammer but empaths are more crazy of you will and he ended up backing down , but i also wanna add where can I get therapy for narcissists I would highly appreciate it i can get options or at least a place to start for therapy

[@donnaweiss4757]

My son was married to a narcissist. She was horrible! She was at work and my son packed up all his belongings and left! Best decision he ever did! Thankfully, NO kids involved!

[@janisstidham1790]

My son also was dating a girl who is narcissistic. Thankfully, no children as well.

[@DrunkenNews]

I was in the same boat I didn’t even know that women were captor being narcissist

[@LukiGames0]

I am dealing with 2 narcissistic parents. Father ruined firs one with my mother (she went crazy after his abuse) and i stayed with him. After that he remarried with another narcissist and they gang up on me now as i am reminder of his past ( i can see how he treats me). His last rage went too far and now i am looking for an apartament to rent and moving out. Its about time anyway (i am in my 30's). I managed to save 50k since i was staying with them and have decent salary as IT Support and have a confirmed rise in next year :).

[@terrijohnston8803]

I can’t even imagine the pain, hopelessness and feeling unworthy to be loved she felt 😢

[@SeriahYenaue]

@@itsBenzie Perhaps your son is happy with the way things are

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

LEAVE THEM WHILE THEY ARE WEAK. Don't stick around to kick them, or come back to say "I told you so." They recover too fast, don't underestimate them. Leave them while they are weak from your discard. And stay away, let them figure it out. You told them enough times.

[@rsj4192]

👏👏👏

[@FindYourFree]

good points!

[@joycefiore2721]

I thought since narcissists don't have empathy, they don't have feelings or care for the victim after they break up??

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

They still have a need to suck the energy out of you. They want to "break up" to cause you pain, so they can suck up your pain and enjoy that. @@joycefiore2721 They spent all that time grooming us and softening us up so we're easy to stick a straw into and get supply...they aren't going to give up their investment of time and energy by letting us go easily. And when/if you actually do leave them, then they will punish you for taking away their supply.

[@humbleugoo8306]

Love yourself enough to leave them! The more you stay, the worse their behavior gets

[@TheCalichick619]

Oh yea got way worse I started to be like who is this person? Why is he so mean towards me all he does is belittle me talk down to me

[@MentalHealness]

🙏

[@PaigeRooker-333]

@@TheCalichick619 mine called me names all the time. he thought he got a bad deal when he married me, thats what he told me. I worked and paid all the bills. cooked and cleaned, mowed the yard, raised the children, paid for the vehicles and did everything. i dont know what he thought a wife was suppose to do , but i did everthing and he stiil called me names and beat me up. he workesd sometimes but never paid bills with the money. he went to the boobie bar and blew his money on table dances and came home drunk , wanting me to go buy him more beer. i said NO, and thats when he hit me. he used me financially, physically and emotionally and mentally. I thought i was a piece of crap because of what he said, but I told him i was going to leave him some day, and then he laughed at me, and said You'll never leave me, I don't have to quit drinking, with a really evil laugh. and then it was like a light bulb turned on, and then I knew he had been playin me for 17 years. Kicking him out was the best thing I ever did. he never found anyone to do what i did. his friend gave him a job and he sold some of his things, well all of his things of value and blew the money to get himself a place to live and partied for 2 months then called me wanting to come back. I said no way dude. I'm done. he was so mad. he had to go to work everyday just to pay his bills, with barely anything left to drink on. kept buggin me to take him back and i said NO every time. 6 months after i kicked him out, i met another man. it was good at first and then he decided to quit working and live off of me because i always worked and took care of my children. After 3 years of that i kicked him out as well. the first thought i would take him back because i kicked out the 2nd one. He asked me to remarry him one day. he never apoligized or asked me to forgive him for the horrible stuff he had done and said. he thought i was the problem. thats what he sad to his friends. some of the stories he told his friends were ridiculous. When i told him No I would never remarry him again or any other man after what i had been through, he rolled his eyes at me and mad a face like he was in disbelief that i said no. Loved the reaction, but never took him back. no way. and the second tried getting me back and i nevr took him back either. he drank so much that his friend had to fire him and he didnt have money to pay his bills, so he wanted to move back in with me, but i said NO NO NO. best day evr.

[@PaigeRooker-333]

@@TheCalichick619 Thats what NARC's do, they tell you its all your fault.dont ever take him back, it will only get worse. I kept putting up with his stuff for 17 years, and was barely able to recognize myself when i kicked him out. alot of therapy. i will never get married again.

[@louann246]

I felt like it had nothing to with losing me, and more to do with the fact he couldn't stand losing. I think a ham sandwich could have taken my place. It wasn't 'painful' for him to lose me, and talking me into staying wasn't because he wanted or needed me, he just needed to "win". Once you realize that game, it's easier to let it all go. When I told my husband I wanted a divorce he wanted to know who I was seeing. Um, no one. I'm seeing NO ONE. He couldn't wrap his head around it. He needed there to be another man in my life to be mad about. The realization that I would rather be alone than be with him was more than his brain could accept. I honestly think that's the entire obsession, not winning you back, the obsession is just WINNING. After the love bombing and talking you back into the BS, they drop you like a bad habit because it was never about you. It was all about the WIN. He can confidently beat his chest again, because he got you to sell yourself out again, he got away with it again. Again again again. I swear once you start getting mad at yourself for buying into it instead of being mad at him for selling that crap, you will be free forever.

[@amc9463]

This is an incredible explanation. I’m finally walking away from someone I loved after 10 years…These last few weeks broke me but it’s slowly getting better. The example you gave will help me stay away for good. I can’t thank you enough for that.

[@sheridat-moore6510]

This was explained brilliantly. I too did this same thing. I love me more! They never deserved to have access to us. Was with his 25yrs, married 17 of those. The cheating, triangulation, NPD, etc.. I walked away with my 16yr old twins and have had peace for the last 8months! We don't miss his shenanigans one bit! So Congratulations and look towards a better life! You can do it and deserve it!

[@MASweet]

This 👏🏻

[@louann246]

@@amc9463 Love your heart. We are all in this together, it helps knowing others have gone through it or currently dealing with it.

[@louann246]

@@MASweet 🥰

[@KARMABELLA24]

I had the courage today to end a relationship with a man who belittled me, degraded me, humiliated me in front of friends. The last straw was, we went to lunch, and he asked the bartender out in front of me. She looked at me and looked at him and said. Oh, hell no. I was so done at this point. My skin is crawling that I ever dated him.

[@Kykylandfarming]

Omg I’m so sorry you went through that! What a jerk!!

[@CradleEpiscopalian56]

Mine would ask me out to eat, complain to the server about how much I ate and always would stare at other women until I asked to leave. Eventually I would refuse to go out which was his plan. He would leave me home & stay out all night. Today I packed his belongings which he said to trash. I said say it in a text (so I would have a record).

[@CareBlair222]

I'm proud of you that you left. 🎉

[@bowlegsK]

Sorry u went through this 😢

[@cherlynjohnson6040]

I am so happy that you got the strength to walk away and love yourself.

[@jessicascott.83]

It’s one of the most freeing experiences to finally be done with a narcissist who has drained you to the point where you’re physically sick. I’m so glad he didn’t marry me like I THOUGHT I wanted. I finally had enough after 14 years of back and forth and finally blocked him on every single form of communication we had. I’m now married for 2 years to a wonderful man and I am grateful to God everyday!

[@charlottelinder4868]

Congratulations ❤

[@zephyr0711]

You give me hope 🙏🏼

[@tlee1]

Whether he is with a new supply or not, the narcissist will grow old ALONE

[@MentalHealness]

😞

[@Liane-qs6ml]

That's true it's sad

[@concettaluna4564]

Hope so

[@sherephia3668]

THAT IS A FACT. IF THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO CHANGE .

[@sherephia3668]

THAT IS A FACT. IF THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO CHANGE .

[@bettymporokoso5960]

For familial reasons, I can't actually leave my partcular narc, but I CAN stop taking the bait by refusing to sound crazy when they trigger me.....and boy, do they know how to trigger me. I atleast have the power to 'grey rock' my responses and cotinue being non-reactive!!

[@Yathome00]

Change the access code to your life! LOVE IT!

[@MentalHealness]

Yes! Thank you!

[@lifeafternarcissism]

Yaaaaaaaaaas 🎉

[@rochellemack642]

ACCESS DENIED

[@liab9019]

ACCESS FUCKING DENIED FOREVER!!!!

[@dawno6235]

"Just because they've moved on, doesnt mean they stopped caring about you" they never cared in the first place..narcissists only care about themselves. If they cared at all about you they wouldn't have put you through so much pain and heartache in the first place.

[@JohnSzwed327]

They didn’t then and don’t now care at all about you. You meant nothing to them but being an energy source. Anyone will do. Anyone - old, young, fat, attractive, wrinkled. Anyone

[@jaimeblakely3884]

Information about personality disorders really needs to be taught in high school so people can see themselves and see others for what they are and know how to deal with it. It's far too common now and will be getting worse now with dating apps and social media.

[@Rainbowgoth5]

As a parent I have educated my kids myself on many different types of people and what could be red flags, I think it’s important we do that we can’t rely on an al ready struggling school system on educating our kids on toxic people. As a parent it’s our responsibility to do that

[@chrisd5133]

Exactly! What they teach in school does not keep up with how society runs. Dating apps and social media have brought out the worst in people.

[@kateashby3066]

I’m not disagreeing but… you can’t teach a narcissist that they’re way narcissist. The only way the get help is if their life is falling apart and they go to therapy to complain about everyone else, then the therapist tells them YOU are the problem, and only a tiny percentage of those ones will continue therapy. The rest will do this: 🖕🏻 also, as a high school teacher who hears “go kick yourself” uttered form one kid to the next on a daily basis- they’re not quite mature enough to handle any of this.

[@marymugford]

i just spent time w my ex narc husband and father of my child for the first time in a year. It was eye opening at what an absolute disaster life w a narc is! in the time I had a cup of coffee, i experienced narc anger, rage, love bombing and throwing his new supply under the bus to get his family back. It was actually incredibly sad - all of the light I used to see in him is gone and hes a lonely, angry, dark person who still hasnt taken accountability. Run!

[@shawnteallison6266]

I'm trying to understand what love bombing means?. I'm going through the process of ending my relationship what the guy that I'm with.

[@discovertheknownllc]

I used to feel so bad!!! The insight that people like you have based on experience helps me understand that I dodged a bullet and God could've let me die in it but I am alive with my mind, eyes, hands, feet and shoulders in tact. Thank you!

[@gmcontractorsllc7592]

You are 100% accurate. I refuse to have any contact with my ex. I look back and wonder how the heck I dealt with his immaturity level. He’s 55 years old but sounds like an 8 year old.

[@michaelasharahyahc7799]

That is so very relatable. It is extremely eye opening to see the truth of a narc after time has passed. It’s very confirming.

[@amberrrlove6217]

@@shawnteallison6266love bombing is when they shower u with love and gifts affection to woo u over it’s usually in the beginning stages

[@snowbird9660]

Also, once you leave, don’t go back. Especially if they have violent tendencies like destroying property, threatening to do physical harm to you or even your pets. Don’t meet them to exchange items, or to “just” talk. It could be a trap for them to get revenge for you leaving and harm you.

[@Nidhi_Maheshwari]

📍🕊️

[@ashleystevens619]

My ex hit the hood of my car with a baseball bat I currently have big ass dents in my hood...hes drove past my house and now he's threatening to kill me putting pictures of a gun on fb to let me know subliminally that he wants to kill me.

[@BoySoma_]

@@ashleystevens619 Have you thought about filing a report with the police?

[@ceecee8924]

@@ashleystevens619 Girl get a gun ASAP tell your family and friends, get a big dog to alert you if anyone trying to break in. All in all protect yourself a report won't stop someone there too many stories of women dying by their exes and boyfriends.

[@diva00]

That is so true. It’s a trick. It’s not genuine and they just want the chance to deceive you one last time…DON’T DO IT! Disappear and start healing and rebuilding your life….

[@jarednovel]

Imagine a situation where the person that did the discard hurts the most from the discard. Its like jumping off a cliff before being pushed. They do the discard first for the sake of their pride or ego when they sense that their partner is fed up with the relationship.. Its a premptive strike that often boomerangs on them

[@OLegendStudios]

I'm not a vengeful person but I wish she hurt from what she did...but she found a new guy with tons of money so I guess it was the best thing that could have happened for her. 11 years meant nothing

[@marilynjohnson8583]

If one of us us going over the cliff, not going to be me.

[@jarednovel]

@@OLegendStudios Money does not equate to happiness. Its one of those things I don't care about except for survival only . I value peace and sanity more than anything else . Its better to eat dry bread in a quiet house than eat fine bread with butter and honey in a chaotic one. If money was everything, Whitney Houston would still be alive.

[@GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262]

💯% CORRECT😂

[@OLegendStudios]

@@jarednovel wow amazing reflection I never heard of that, thank you

[@mrs.tracie5593]

I am currently going through and planning to make my exit silently. I will give myself a year to save money so i can leave. He pays all the bills and thinks he can treat me any kind of way. Thank you for these videos ❤

[@snowleopard9907]

Good luck ❤

[@shudonnacopeland3703]

Hey. I know it's scary. I just left with me and my 3 kids. I was saying the same thing let me save. BS. Call and get in to a Women's Domestic Violence shelter and they will truly give u all the help u need u won't have to worry about anything and they will relocate and give u permanent housing. Leave cause it's only going to get worse. People have been telling me this for 3 years. I am so happy it has only been a couple of months but baby Peace ain't nothing like it. Praying for u.

[@mrs.tracie5593]

Thank you so much for the encouragement I really appreciate it.

[@mrs.tracie5593]

@@shudonnacopeland3703 Omg thank you I will definitely look into this ASAP

[@marydecouvertes3789]

Who knows, maybe you'll be leaving like Alice in Lost Highway. Ever watched that movie? Good luck.

[@FlowerGrl20]

I was terrified when I left. Turns out I was just afraid of empty threats. I am 1000 stronger and no longer have anxiety but anger. No one can manipulate me ever again. I have an inner voice and worth.

[@tellthetruthoritllbetold111]

💯👏

[@sarahcook908]

Mine was shocked even though I warned him if he didn't stop treating me so badly I would leave. It was wild to me that he was shocked and acting like I was doing something horrible to him. He even denied the divorce at first and pushed me into being separated. It lasted a week or two until he got nasty again and that was it. Lee-you helped me get out of that hell and now almost 3 years later I am thriving jn every way, I'm healthier, I have an amazing relationship, an amazing life and my career totally took off because he couldn't keep drowning me anymore. He leveraged finances throughout those years but I make alot more money than him now and am financially secure and I get to travel and do amazing things!

[@empressb444]

🎉 so glad you found the courage to leave and now you can receive all of your blessings you deserve! Has he tried tonreach out to u since all of this?

[@MaroonRose3216]

Congratulations! Continue to enjoy your life❤

[@MaroonRose3216]

Congratulations! Continue to enjoy your life❤

[@rochellemack642]

AINT NO FUN WHEN THE RABBIT GOT THE GUN

[@mandyandrus6032]

Congratulations, I hope my story is the same one day !

[@loladanger]

You are literally saving lives, Lee 😢

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@BlackPanther203]

@@MentalHealness you really are though…

[@Amatullah7007]

​@@MentalHealness For real Thank you

[@Amatullah7007]

​@@BlackPanther203I agree 💯

[@Rainbowgoth5]

I agree

[@lisamiller1482]

It's ironic that when they're whining about how "everyone abandons them" they can't figure out that maybe they're the problem. Nope. It was because I found another man, which is absurd. I am married to him and have integrity, meaning that regardless of how they treated me, I would never entertain the company of another man whilst married. But thats the story everyone got. Anyone that knows me well would never believe that is why I left. It was to save myself, plain and simple. I couldn't care less what his bottom feeders think of me. I'm certainly not perfect, but I don’t have his shady character defects.

[@kathiejl1]

I love your first sentence! Exactly THAT!

[@ellejee74]

They are never the problem, and when you do finally leave it has to be bc there's someone else, not that it's the narcs abuse that caused you to leave, smh😑

[@michaelpoulosjr.2249]

Mine always projected her own guilt into me. It was so easy to see after a while, that literally she told on herself every time she accused me of something, it always turned out to be the very thing she was doing.

[@foreveryoung6464]

That's because their acute illness victim mentality, instead of re evaluate their fault, they end up cover their fault to be others fault and do projecting cause they're always sneaky liars all the time think that everyone have multiple supply like them every time. That's ill mindset that we can't change

[@brendadean9291]

It is hard to distance yourself from a narcissistic partner when kids are involved.

[@natasharush8604]

Yes

[@kateashby3066]

It is, but there are ways to minimize the damage. Have you tried HG Tudor’s channel? He’s also a self aware narc but not in recovery. Kinda creepy but anyway- he’s got videos of people recording their narc partners to show examples of them in action. This one lady handled her insane narc so well!! She would not validate anything he did. He’d try and pick a fight by calling her Ret*rd and other bad names and she would just be silent- which got him angrier because, no fuel. She would look away too- which made him insist she look at him when he speaks to her. The idea is to have as minimal contact as possible. And if you can- record them for a judge, if it’s legal in the state. TRY and get the kids away from him if you can. And if you can’t, be very careful about parental alienation- a form of narc abuse they put on the kids to turn them on you

[@Tinas_Opinion]

Yes, it is. I wish it was possible for the mental health of the children.

[@silverlaptop2022]

They can obtain.....but they NEVER maintain Spell check😊😳😊

[@thebullwhisperer916]

If you keep going back to a narcissist after they abuse you time and again, you are saying abusing you is acceptable and they won't have any desire to change that ever & you are part of the problem. Leave the narc and love yourself. You deserve genuine healthy love.

[@sandyrisner2850]

When I start missing the narcissist and thinking about how much I miss him it almost never fails… one of your videos pops up and say’s don’t do it! We were together for 5 1/2 years and I am getting stronger every day. I just wish I could stop thinking about him…. But it’s getting easier after about 2 months. Thank you for your videos and advice ❤

[@Clyde_playz-t6d]

15 years 2 kids smh . He's in jail now which is like a sign for me to finally run away, because now I see the real double life he was living . It's a shame how blind I was and how he really wasn't man enough to just leave me TF alone instead he made me look supid

[@tellylace9872]

I understand...jeesh

[@Iamflamingosrule]

​@@veebliss1266that theory being true I've got 10 years left ... I don't have that long left ... wish he would have got the karma, not me

[@LazyDaisy11]

I think it varies from person to person. For an emotional fool like me - It took me a month for every year I invested in the rship. I worked so hard on myself.. lost weight.. got promoted..only because cold Turkey is my spirit animal🙄🙄. 10 yrs. And the day I decided I am done - I was up and running 10th month onwards. Funny but true.

[@erinoutram1639]

It's hard at first after you leave, but don't go back if you can help it! They never change, the only thing changed is the person they move on to, keep strong 💪🏾

[@katet4554]

I walked away from the narcissist in my life about two weeks ago. She started a fight at my dad's funeral, made up a story, and harassed my aunt and my dads widow! I am done, absolutely no contact. I am done making excuses for her terrible behavior! I am so happy she's gone!!

[@markrichards6863]

My condolences for the loss of your father. You need to go zero contact with this toxic woman. Expect her to act out. Keep a journal of everything she does, date time, what she did or said. If she persists contact the police or a lawyer. It'll likely go on for a while. Relationships with narcissists are an emotional prison..

[@katet4554]

@@markrichards6863 thank you. I believe she is a grandiose narcissist and she sucked me back in many times, by stressing our sister-like bond. She was once gone from my life for 5 years, after she told me I should have an abortion because I would be a terrible mother, and somehow she apologized and weaselled her way back in, but not this time, I've gone no contact since the funeral, and I have zero regrets. She is on block so she cannot send messages or call me, but I know she will try another way. She has no conception of how inappropriate she was, and at forty years old, she'll never learn.

[@chanjess81]

So sorry for your loss. Sending condolences to you and your family. To start a fight at your father’s funeral was uncalled for. Glad you walked away and don’t look back. Block the narcissist on your phone and all social media accounts.

[@katet4554]

@@chanjess81 thank you. I did block her on my phone and thank God, I do not do social media! After all this sadness with my dad, and dealing with this crazy 'friend,' on and off for twenty years, I want to live my personal dream of owning a horse. I want to live my own life, one that she doesn't know about or have any part in, completely leaving her in my past.

[@Kwatson855]

So sorry for your loss and the added pain she caused. Incredible that a narc try’s to make any situation about themselves! 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@NathanSegal]

I was discarded and after that I immediately went no contact. Since then, radio silence. Thank God.

[@naowright9308]

I have watched people walk away from narcissists, and I know the narcissist is hurt. I know that when the time comes and I go no contact with the covert narcissist, they will be very hurt. It isn't that I want to hurt them, but they have proved over and over again that they do not really care about me except for how I make them feel important. I do not hold to them anymore.

[@louiseelliott6404]

Finally chose me. He never saw it coming of that I’m convinced. I blindsided him and blocked and deleted him overnight with no explanation. I allowed poor treatment of myself by him. Emotional and financial abuse lasting 3 years. I gave so much. His actions didn’t match his words. I’m on a healing journey. 163 days no contact. I’m not going back even though I’m trauma bonded. Physically left. Emotionally still attached. I will get over him. I’m determined to heal, grow and move on. I think he’ll be stuck just being him for ever more. Not self aware, unaccountable, blame shifting, playing the victim, deflecting, projecting and I can’t do that ever again. Thanks for the video Lee.

[@bedevinson9768]

i feel this! however , he flipped the script and said someone told him i was planning on leaving him. like what!? how can you plan that? we have a child together which is worse he told me to leave and i am. i am now emotionally and financially broke. but we are strong and we will get through it.

[@JeanBean81]

My ex made my life a living hell for months after I left and ultimately attempted to un-alive me. I am thankful that I got away. I encourage every person who is attempting to leave a narc to have a solid plan in place. Like Lee said, do NOT tell them that you’re leaving, just do it. And do not look back. Orders of Protection/Restraining Orders are just a piece of paper. Move silently. Best of luck to you all. 💛

[@ellejee74]

🙏❤

[@Blasian21]

Yes I have been through the same

[@vanessafleeton4734]

Protective order not working. He talked to me while an officer was right across the yard. 😢

[@ellejee74]

@@vanessafleeton4734 I would report him again anyway, please be careful, good luck and God bless you!!🙏✌❤

[@JeanBean81]

@@vanessafleeton4734 mine violated the Protective Order a couple of hours after he was served. He continued to harass me for months after being served, in ways where he wouldn’t be considered in violation of the Order (i.e. moving with strangers who lived next door to stalk me, filing several frivolous civil lawsuits.) I eventually moved out of town quickly & quietly, but not before buying a firearm & learning how to use it. After I left it took months for me to not be so paranoid, and I still have work to do. Do what is best for your overall safety & mental health. Be careful.

[@JeffreyChewning]

It was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders when I left! Do have some clothes still there! But I'm done

[@KerrieWatson-ji6ok]

It's a wonderful feeling when U leave first x

[@K_Cole0128]

Telling a narcissist you’re leaving them can cost you your life! Document everything, be clear in text and phone calls.. tell them to stop contacting you, file charges for harassment and move on!! Dnt play with it!

[@nathanielburnett9863]

I lost my soul... But she never could grasp my spirit and that little spark made me snap awake one day and boy what a realization

[@shirley-louisewatts3258]

A year no contact. And I’m now free and in a new happy, healthy relationship. I’ve had a year of therapy , the scars still remain but I can safely say I’m so much better off without them. Thank you so much Lee. These videos stopped me from going back. I’m grateful for your videos 🎉💪🏻

[@MentalHealness]

💪🏽💪🏽♥️

[@dianavaahteramaki]

Have you been able to forget "the love" towards him when in a new relationship. Can you truly love again...that scares me, when lovebombed for years. I would appreciate your answer.:) How it feels to have a new relationship. Does it win it in all???

[@luvvhealzall2368]

@@dianavaahteramakihonestly once you truly love someone it’s unconditional and doesn’t go away, it just gets easier with time🫶🏼

[@mandalachakra]

The Narcissist is hurting from the ego damage not heartache!

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@PaigeRooker-333]

My NARC exhusband told his friends that he worked and paid for my dads lake house and jet skis and all the stuff my dad had worked and paid for. pne of his friends asked me if it was my dads or my exes, and i laughed and said it was my dads. i never knew he told people that my dads stuff was his. SO STUPID NARCS ARE reallt arrogant and stupid when you can see them for who they are. he had a hard ego collapse we i left himand he had nothing. all his friends found out that evrything was my dads and not his. he looked like an IDIOT. They dont love anyone but themselves. Leave your NARC and see what they tell everyone. LIES LIES LIES>

[@K_Cole0128]

You are right Lee! If they will kill themselves, they will kill you too! My ex called me with snot coming out of his nose talking ab a mental breakdown. I called the mental health hotline, they called him and he was pissed! He called me back and asked me why didn’t I help him. I blocked his ass afterwards.

[@RippleDrop.]

Jeez. You did exactly how they recommend when the narc pulls the suicide card.

[@K_Cole0128]

@@RippleDrop. I didn’t know that. I just knew if he’d kill himself, he’d kill me too. After he called me back, not to thank me but to scold me, I was over it and him.

[@sarinagoches]

Thank you so much for highlighting and warning women of the dangers of narcissists after you leave and how serious post separation abuse and stalking is. It's the most dangerous time in the 2 weeks you leave and up until 3 months or more. Then again after divorce and property settlement because of money! Please do more videos about the physical and life threatening dangers of narcissists inside relationships and when leaving.

[@megand8022]

Thank you for making these videos. They started popping up on my feed when I needed them the most. After about 4 1/2 years of being together, I finally found the strength to walk away. It has not been easy, but my peace is important to me. I thank God for your content.

[@MentalHealness]

✌🏽♥️

[@dannimalan666]

That rings true for me as well,and people always ask me, but how did you guys meet and what you are summarising here is exactly my story as well.

[@louann246]

@@MentalHealness Lee I agree with other commenters that you are saving lives, I'm not sure you appreciate how much you are helping folks. The videos caught my eye when I was gaining the strength to kick out my narc, it was so enlightening. Such a blessing to learn first hand the way the mind works from the narc perspective. After I ended that last relationship I unexpectedly lost my son, so I have really been in a healing frame of mind. I never want to feel weak and go back to old patterns because of the pain. I want to protect my heart and my mental health. Thank you for creating this community where we can interact and improve our lives.

[@tabithawaylan1303]

I’m finally, after 29 years figuring out what all this chaos and misery really is. Making my plan. Thank you for your videos Lee.

[@MentalHealness]

You are so welcome

[@MKelty]

Do not let him know anything. Keep plan secret. Lee’s not kidding about the partner trying to un-alive you! Be overly cautious

[@barbarascott3136]

What did we get ourselves into and stay so long? Married 45 years 35 were progressively abusive.. This is unreal.. I filed for divorce after several attempts .Manipulator , irresponsible, foul.mouth disrespectful..I'm praying 🙏 to.God that my adult boys will get help because of the passed down lack.of ability to love..

[@Pyramidskies]

Yaaaaay!!!!!!!

[@Qhht.Illinois]

Make your plan🙏💗 you can do it. 20 years! I did too. If you can give a relative money little by little, it'll help with divorce process. God bless!

[@stephaniejean83]

My husband told me, “I thought I could treat you good and you would stay, and I thought I could treat you bad and you would stay.”

[@eclay444]

When I decide to leave, it will be all about me... nothing about him & his feelings. My peace, my self-love, my healing! No turning back! A step to go, means no more!

[@jessicadrake652]

They cry about being abandoned when it was their actions that left u with no choice but to leave & move on.

[@evosolutionsllc.910]

They go straight to anger when u tell them ur out..... Oh and NEVER call a narc a narc... My god....

[@MentalHealness]

Have to be safe

[@evosolutionsllc.910]

@@MentalHealness I learned from my father who's a narc that you have to kill people like that with kindness, do not engage and have the self-respect to walk away and not reinforce the bad behavior 👍

[@35810janella]

I am in that exact situation right now. And I have just decided to leave no warning no talking I am just leaving. The best decision I have ever made. ❤️

[@MentalHealness]

💪🏽💪🏽

[@Southerngal9197]

❤️‍🩹🙏🏽💪🏾

[@tlcfitcoach]

My ex is a narcissist and when he left he was already with someone and blamed me for him cheating. I didn't realize how bad he was until I was away from him. The recovery is still on-going but I'm better without him and set boundaries. He does what he wants, sets double standards and him and his girlfriend act like victims. Pray the divorce is just and quick after 20 years.

[@anonstroud5632]

Same! all the way down to the 20 years.. but it’s liberating cuz my new man takes me to pound town. And I was so in love and blind. Cuz I didn’t realize my body could do all these things.. one only took care of me financially and was a great provider. But still beat me up and broke me.. but we were young… and now the new one wants to please me and teaches me things about myself that I should already know.. after all, I am the woman… but yea everybody different.

[@michaelpoulosjr.2249]

Exactly my situation. I found out she was cheating on me with her friends ex boyfriend when she was accusing me of sleeping with said friend. Then it was my fault because I cut her off and the new supply “helped her cope” with me “abandoning her.”

[@karenscott9899]

I choose me! I choose to love myself ❤🙏🏾

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾♥️

[@Yellowroseintexas5]

Don’t ever go back ! Treat you worse . Wasted 8 years . Take it from me ! Choose be happy

[@foreveryoung6464]

God bless us the narcisstist survivor...❤

[@cynthiarinaldi4344]

You have to plan your escape..you have to surround yourself with people who can protect you...

[@goldenlady1213]

You're absolutely right !!!! Its 3:50 a.m. and I can't sleep because I'm trying to figure out a plan to escape from this hellish azzzzz demon .

[@Godsgrace34]

I just walked away from a 14 yr relationship with one. I have my up n downs but with God I'm mkn it and finding me again

[@jeannettejackson6543]

Thank you, my ex-Narcissistic man I was involved with for over 30 years all the gaslighting. Never wanted the total commitment, but wanted the marriage benefits I take responsibility for my actions and allowing it for so long. 😢I just got tired of catering to his every episode, anger, me loving him without the reprocity from him the way I love him. Well he told me to F- off and I told him the same, so far it has been 2 weeks no communication at all.❤

[@One2growON]

Good for you! You got this!

[@One2growON]

Courageous decision! Keep that up because u are worth it!

[@artbymaree4680]

Definitely let's not forget friends can be narcissistic as well

[@Dee-Dee4959]

My ex, a narcissist, thought he was hurting me by marrying his new supply within a few months of knowing her. I told him I was happy for him to find someone who can satisfy him and love him they way he wants to be loved. To be honest, I was relieved cos I thought I'd finally be free and not be the subject of his endless rage. They had a huge white wedding (something that he'd refused to give me - so we went to the courthouse instead). Well, he discarded her before their second anniversary, and was back to annoy me again. I nipped it in the bud real quick cos I'd done so much healing work on myself and didn't need his toxicity again. Of course he ramped up his anger and hatred, but I just went no contact and chose peace - the best decision ever!

[@andreannanesbit6889]

He will NEVER change nor seek any kind of help.... He will NEVER

[@MentalHealness]

🙏

[@ogpatrice]

Lee you're so right. My girlfriend's sociopathic narc husband deleted her off the face of this earth because he found a letter she wrote saying she was leaving him. DON'T tell them a thing!!! Just leave!!! 🗣️🗣️

[@britg8567]

After 15 years of marriage and 6 kids, ive finally made the decision ive had enough. The same promises each time and i know we deserve more.

[@dianepinkyharman1346]

I have changed completely. You have to grow and change. You don't deserve to be abused. These people are manipulative and controlling. Care about yourself. You come first.

[@TimetoWonder222]

I walked away almost 2 years ago. Being raised by narcs made me susceptible because it felt familiar and I wasn't good at recognizing red flags, but he hurt me enough to make me look for answers.

[@kimberlymatthews4480]

I expérienced every single thing you described my ex tried every single tactic. Threats of suicide, panic attacks, trying to guilt me, violence, begging, using the kids, using family members and friends, using religion, using religion, using a PRINCE Impersonator (yes you read that right) threats of taking my finances during the divorce if I didn’t call it off, you name it! He’d love bomb and attack simultaneously. I could go on and on! It was pure insanity.

[@MusicMusic22223]

I really wanna know what they did with a prince impersonator??? I’m so intrigued

[@kimberlymatthews4480]

Long story short, he hired a prince impersonator to sing for me at a restaurant, because he believed that would get me to show up to meet him. I didn’t show up and he had the prince impersonator send me a message saying it’s too bad I couldn’t make it so here’s a video recording.

[@MusicMusic22223]

@@kimberlymatthews4480 thanks for the info! Another desperate attempt from a narc to try manipulate you back in! The lengths they go to!

[@Paparazzionsite]

@@kimberlymatthews4480 🤣 He's a nut!! So glad you didn't show up.

[@jasminkelley934]

Lee having to tell us not to use this as a sign to go back to stop the NARC from hurting is hilarious! He knows his audience 😅

[@MentalHealness]

😂😂😂

[@christinewanjiru8158]

😅😅 I’ve blocked him

[@jasminkelley934]

@@christinewanjiru8158 good! Throw away the key!! 😂

[@leiaclark8388]

It makes no sense that a narc is hurt when you leave. They hate you and hurt you and drive you away. They should be delighted that they managed to get rid of you to the point where you will avoid them forever.

[@genesewatson648]

I got chills the line “everyone always leave me” is literally what he said when i tried to break up with him twice I’m getting my strength more and more everyday cuz i know he not gonna change

[@vimara6093]

When I met my boyfriend, I could see something in his eyes. I even told him I saw something. He wanted to know what I saw. It took me a full year, I started quarelling with him after the first 6 months of seeing his sneekynees, till I realized what he was, and then I was OUT! Yes, it hurt because he presented as a man with a lot of potential, but the fact that his mental illness superceded my hurt, helped. I felt sorry for him and realized that he has a sad life. He burns and turns women, burns, and turns jobs. He has lost his last two wives and both his kids. That's sad. At least I know that's not the life I'm going to get stuck in.

[@ChimeSombrio]

My ex is not diagnosed yet as a Narcissist but all my readings/research clearly points to him. In fact, he fits the description. We were together for almost 3 years but we were okay as a couple only 1 year and 6 months due to the ongoing cycle of lovebombing-devalue-discard. It is so draining. He always glorify about how we should build the relationship but his words is not aligned to his actions. I gave him love, attention and time but he does nothing. He's just so chill with minimal to no effort at all. Its so exhausting to be so accessible and available to someone who can't do the same for you. I still miss him, but that doesn't I want him back. The break up really gave me a relief some sort of vindication and I want to keep it that way!

[@Carollori]

Exactly the actions must align with the words. But their entitlement allows them to not do the work they promise. I’m no contact for a couple of weeks after less than a year together. It gets easier each day. He emails most days and as it’s encrypted he cont know if I read or not. I do but I no longer respond and in fact the triggering is way down. Instead I analyze. I feel bad for him but I’m glad for me

[@kateashby3066]

99% of pwNPD aren’t diagnosed. That’s because they don’t think they’re the problem and won’t go to therapy. Lee is a MAJOR anomaly!! For a personality disorder, it’s ok to diagnose them so you know to stay away. All you are doing is looking at traits. If those traits are toxic, you don’t have to hang around just because they don’t come with an official label. The entire point of a diagnosis is to get help, but the help in terms of THIS disorder is for the victims!

[@siettamurray5714]

I have a child with a narcissist i left him because he was abusive and he truly waves through emotions whenever we talk. He tries to make it seem like my complaints and the abuse wasn't that big of a deal and says stupid things like "you’ll drown without me" or "you miss me, thats why you call me" He even makes empty threats to see if he can get a rise out of me and when he can't, he either softens up or becomes angrier or starts trying to belittle me. It's the worst soap opera I've ever seen 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mer3556]

One person very close to me became very narcissistic. Leaving was NOT an option. Instead, I shut down on this person. I was seeing that *I* had to bend until I broke but s/he didn't have to give me an inch. We are both believers. I don't work because I can't anymore. I have severe digenerative disc disease that is genetic but we were not aware. So, I turned to God (we are both believers). I spent time in the word and read it outloud in the rooms this person spends most their time in. I have spent HOURS doing this either during their time at work and/or at night while s/he was sleeping. Through this, I was given the words to gently explain what was going on. One of the biggest common drnominators with a narcissist, using WORDS to hurt you. To fight a narcissist and a believer, this approach is VERY powerful. Its not only Blibical that words can steal, kill and destroy (correct order of the pattern is steal, distroy and kill). However, its also scientific that this is true. Listen to how a narcissistic talks about themselves. Chances are, they hold no value for themselves. "I'm worthless, I mean nothing, etc" For them, it IS true. Chances are, this is all they have heard all their lives. This is another way you can help them fight it. Its just MORE ammunition to prove how powerful words really are. Fight the battle the RIGHT way. A narcissist has very powerful demons attatched to them. No amount of medicine will fully help them and its just another way the enemy wins. If you are a believer, spend time JUST READING the bible. It doesn't even have to be ABOUT the problem. Pray for them, call on the angels to intervene. It wont happen over night, but you will see a change. Mine was almost instant in some areas. For a narcissist, what YOU do will never be enough because it ISN'T enough for the enemy. You can bend until you break while they don't have to give you an inch. That's exactly what the enemy wants.

[@jassg9785]

I needed this…leaving does not seem like an option right now, I have been praying but I will start praying in this person room as well! Thank you!

[@mer3556]

@@jassg9785 I will be glad to help you further. Do praise and worship in the areas they spend most of their time in as well. My favorites are Phil Wickam "Battle Belongs to you" unsure of the artists name on this one "Holy Spirit you are welcomed here" again, unsure of artist but "The same power" I did this for a few weeks several times a week. Bear in mind, the devil and his followers HATE this. I was physically attacked. Got VERY sick to my stomach, headaches like no other. Even felt hands hitting me and squeezing the areas of my body I'm most weak. There were no physical signs of this. Even passed out once. DO NOT LET THIS SCARE YOU AWAY. The enemy will do anything and everything in his power to stop you. I have a strong mind, so I was attacked physically. Remember to take breaks. A spiritual battle is still a battle and very exhausting. Know that God knows this. Call on the angels to invade your home. This is important as God isn't interested in prisoners but the devil doesn't care. I even asked a Catholic friend for holy water. After this person went to bed, but before asleep, I asked her/him to TRUST me. I drizzled holy water on my fingers, silently prayed that their eyes see what I see, forehead to protect their mind, lips to seal any words that come from the enemy. Another night, long after I knew s/he was asleep, I threw small amounts of holy water on the bed towards the foot of the bed. Silently prayed over their dreams and prayed for the angels to fight the battle that's going on while sleeping. Come up with your own. But prayer is VERY powerful. I'm non denomination. Even if your denomination doesn't believe in holy water (mine doesn't) we use items to symbolize our faith all the time from crosses on our necks, communion, you name it. As long as our heart is in the right place, nothing is impossible for God. So much in my life and the lives of even extended family have been altered over MY actions after turning to God. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW it wasn't "me" it was me allowing God to work THROUGH me. So in a sense, it was. Just don't let pride get to you. STAY PURE. Remember to keep your prayers silent and NEVER reveal what you are doing. As long as the enemy is attached, whatever you say to your loved one, WILL be twisted and turned against you. You MUST be prepared for that too. If you don't know how to respond, DON'T. Also, don't let their anger provoke yours. 💝 One more thought, when your loved one replies to you essentially saying " so you blame me for xyz?" Calmly and gently "no, I don't blame you. I blame the enemy that is attached to you."

[@LADYLUCIA2000]

🙏🛐🧭☮️💓🤬👺💔😢 THANK YOU. THIS PERSON HAS WISDOM 🤔🔮💎🌞

[@LADYLUCIA2000]

☮️🧭🛐🙏🥺😢☑️💕💓

[@tifffocus4976]

20 years together, 7 years legally married and five children smh I’m 36 and have spent most of my life with me. Only for him to cheat have outside babies and leave to be with one of the baby mommas he realizes he could not manipulate and disrespect me anymore. I was hurt at first now each day that goes by I’m glad he left. I’m at peace and my household is calm and quiet. I am learning to forgive myself for all the pain I endured and for all the things that my children seen that they shouldn’t have. It’s a new life for me🎉❤

[@MentalHealness]

stay strong on your healing journey

[@carajssavannahga]

Walked away four good 4 years ago while he was at work. Best decision ever. I took his dog that he was abusing and shes happier with me.

[@pebblesthompson9057]

Everyone on here needs to take heed. Lee said DON'T DO IT and DON'T MISINTERPRET HIS ISH!

[@MentalHealness]

I say it and ppl still go against me

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

Its painful when you walk away for good. Most of the time the N really doesn't care but the one who took the pain suffers because they cared so much.

[@melpye1788]

So true…

[@MA-xi9bh]

It’s horrible to just leave a committed relationship with someone without telling them. It’s cold and just plain awful. Cruel. (Even in a relationship that doesn’t have a narcissistic.) I truly believe a narcissist doesn’t care when you leave, no empathy, they never needed or wanted you.

[@kimsanders8262]

Yes

[@empreenergy3376]

A narcissist doesnt deserve any courtesy!😑

[@claricecornelius3743]

If you tell them you're leaving you will have to endure the begging pleading and empty promises AGAIN and when you leave anyway after all that then you get the rage! NAH! Just go on the dl do what's best for you for a change! ❤

[@IsabellaPiesch]

They never loved you (that is the most necessary thing you have to know). They only used you (so they needed you ...).

[@emmarae4322]

Someone who lied, cheated, destroyed my property and made me homeless doesn't deserve my fkn empathy. They dont care and don't love you anyways. You are just supply.

[@lolascissors]

I left. I said bye and never spoke to him again. I immediately blocked him on all social platforms. He never reached out. It's been 2 months. Total peace.

[@weluvmusick]

Don’t believe I ever got that deep with a narcissist I was only a backup supply and the narcissist’s wasn’t that far gone but this is still great information thank you

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Gmonie72]

I been married to one for 14 yrs, and only recently realized was I've been dealing with so I had alot of work to build myself up just to finally leave I hope for the last time!! 😢

[@MentalHealness]

Protect your peace

[@Merbella]

Once you know, you can't look back.

[@Piya360]

“Change the access code for my life...” LOVE THIS!!!! ❤❤❤Thank you!

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome ♥️

[@peace4258]

I finally got the strength to walk away from my narcissistic boyfriend. Let me tell you it was the best thins ever. A breath of fresh air. The confidence and freedom I feel out weighs all the trauma hurt and humiliation. I’m focusing on healing before I get into another relationship. He no longer had access to me. My family has noticed my growth. I’m very careful not to take his silence without watching my back. He had a very bad temper. Anyone deciding to leave do so in silence be careful.🙏

[@undersiege1111]

I would never know that he cared for me at all, and we were married for 8 years...He had someone new right away. I did get an apology text a month later. We aren’t even divorced and he is screwing this other chick and sending me apology texts. Hope the fact that I never responded to his text, speaks volumes to his fragile ego. I have heard the half hearted text apologies too many times, and they never accept responsibility, so I don’t have time for it! I’m so much happier when I don’t text him or see him. My life is getting so amazing! And we have a son. I have managed to have very limited contact with him, even with a child. It’s possible and the more I don’t see him or hear his voice, the better I get.

[@Pinkgirlyyyy]

Please please please! When you leave, leave without saying a word. Some of them turn violent went you leave them because they never expected it. My ex almost killed me because he refused to let anyone else have me. But all I wanted was to be alone and get away from that toxic relationship. Still traumatized by that experience, but my life has improved soooooo much! Praise the Lord!!

[@daeclipse03]

I always stood up to my ex and called her out for her behavior and how she treated me everytime. To say we had alot of tension at times is an understatement but I simply refused to put up with her shit. So when I broke it off with her she actually said " i know you were going to do this". Shes used to men in her life always leaving her because of how she treats them.

[@ShadowJerker-st3lj]

I knew my ex was going to discard me. This is of course after he hassled me to send him drugs to Iraq, with no care for my daughter or myself, lied for 9 years about marriage and children while his mother texted him not to have sex with me, stole everything I owned, and left me 70k in debt. I knew he was a monster, probably why he held me in a house in Colorado when I tried to leave him and he forced me to have sex while I was sick with elevation sickness. He was mad, he knew I wanted out and needed to do it. I’m glad he did, I was so abused and beat down I couldn’t.

[@CoolPapaCash]

@@ShadowJerker-st3lj Sorry you went through that ish. They can be enormously selfish. Once while sick with a stomach virus, I was puking all day, she comes home from work to find me laying in bed and she says well, "make sure you wipe off the door knobs when you go to the bathroon so I don't get sick". That was it. She didn't check my temperature or bring me soup, she showered and went to a new years eve party, we were both supposed to go to, without me. Didn't call once to see if I were still alive. I finally got away from her. Their lack of human empathy is appalling.

[@tamerastone4732]

Thank u, for the serious warnings about domestic abuse from a narc. Everyone needes to take this to heart, when leaving!!!

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome

[@zanetamonikasekulski814]

To follow up, I did leave him with nothing. I took ALL my furniture, all that I had never looked back!!! He tried to contact me but I kept him out my life.

[@Ms1980cej]

"Don't misinterpret my shit!" - Lee Hammock 😂😂😂😂 💙❤

[@dotspkfaqs]

I’m happy I found this channel, I’m leaving my husband of 13 years right now. He betrayed me so bad. I’m about to walk away from everything. It hurts , my self worth and care mean so much. He is cheating, lying and manipulating. Doesn’t come home and disappear. Doesn’t care at all. He out with other women and abandoned me. I’m Good. Im leaving. I’m so silent right now. He had women and men coming against me. It got so bad a few days ago.

[@Southerngal9197]

I’m going through the same crap as we speak.

[@LADYLUCIA2000]

ME TOO 🤬💔😢🌉🧭👺🤔🔮🍷🥺

[@discovertheknownllc]

At one point my kids dad tried to play the victim and said he just wanted to die, I called the prevention hotline and when I came to him and asked can they come to do a wellness check he got mad and started a fresh new argument about how I told his business to a stranger. He refuses to be diagnosed, but he is a covert narc.

[@MentalHealness]

stay safe

[@gapeach7814]

Mine is the same. Covert narcissist. Everything wrong on earth is somehow my fault...He refuses to seek help for his mental health issues.

[@valeriesmith9031]

This is why I had to wean myself away . When they saw a pic of me at the bridal store , they call me and goes”you got a new boo huh? “ I was like omg! No . That makes me scary . Being with him started being draining. But he got 2 ex wives and 2 baby mamas. I really believe he still deal with one of the baby mamas . I ran into her and my flags went up . She talked about yeah it didn’t work out but they were still tight . That was another flag and gut feeling because I always felt he was not being honest with me. I just can’t . I’m Worth more than that 😢

[@MentalHealness]

You are worth more. stay empowered

[@valeriesmith9031]

I really think something happened to him as a child . Never met no one like that.

[@domeatown]

My ex felt like I "abandoned" him, even though he drove me away with harsh criticism and frankly emotional abuse. Even a few online affairs. He whined to everyone he knew for months. Spread rumors. Weaponized shared acquaintances. Truly felt like none of it was earned. Truly believes I was gone for no reason. My mom shows glimmers of occasional understanding. Blink, and you will miss. Someday I hope she comes around. I love her. But I now know... Impact over intent. Have to be practical just as much as you love. Sometimes have to leave when the love is still alive and stay gone until the lightbulb is fully on, because esteeming others does not mean not esteeming yourself. Sometimes have to do the adult things because no one else will. And it sucks, but it's okay for at least right now. I do find it hard to believe that the narcissists call themselves victims, when I spent my entire life thinking that a "victim mentality" was going to hold me down (even tho the opposite was true. Recognizing the truth elevated me). But I really believed it, and fell hard for the idea that you can work yourself to health and wealth and love. Which you can't. Requires luck, and at least one of those requires not hard work, but total surrender. Which is the opposite of hard work. And those things require forces outside of you to work as hard as you do, and for you to be open to let them do the work. Feelings are feelings. Intent is intent but the formula of a relationship is feelings + impact. It's not enough to have a feeling. Most people already know this. We have learned it on the fly. It's okay. We have done crazier things and have acted from crazier places. This is certainly a better an elevated version of that

[@markrichards6863]

I can laugh about it now, but she cheated on me and then blamed me for it, when I caught her. And she was serious. "I wouldn't have to cheat if you would _______, fill in the blank.

[@domeatown]

@@markrichards6863 ah that's such bs. I got hit with that one, too. Facts are it was me that was not getting my needs met. And I did not cheat bc I am not flaky when I make a promise Don't let em turn it round on you

[@Naiaworship]

Impact over Intent. I'm making a T-shirt of that!

[@mollykayramstack6193]

4:06 He did not think I was going to leave and truly be done. I think he thought I'd move out but we'd still date or some crap. His distorted mind and view about everything was truly off the charts. He told our neighbors he guesses I never want to talk to him again. Well, no shit!! 🤦‍♀️ I swear - all of it is completely maddening!!

[@karmaisnt]

Imma say ur fake and if not who cares what I think but u should dummy

[@kennethwilliams6799]

That whole police thing is the absolute truth. Be prepared. Cause I was with my narcissistic ex for 2 years. All she ever did was belittle me and call me out of my name. I got to a point where I didn't take her bait and just completely ignored her. She got so frustrated with me ignoring her that she told me she planned on leaving me. I told her I'll do you one better, and I left the very next day. What really set her over the edge was she tried to launch a smear campaign, and it didn't work. So she started harassing me everyday till one day I told her I will get the police involved if she didn't stop harassing me. That was it. Haven't heard from her since.

[@MentalHealness]

protect your peace

[@katalinlakatos496]

Thank you for stressing that this is not a sign to go back!🙏

[@MentalHealness]

You are so welcome

[@diandreabrown8711]

I thought so too and stupidly was like okay do u want to get back together? Then they told me they would have to talk to their new person lol..i was like bam eyes open ur full of shit." U say im the love of ur life, yet u have no problem hurting me or making me feel less than. If u can run, run and dont look back. I did, and now im moving out for the third time... I pray the LAST.

[@katalinlakatos496]

@@diandreabrown8711 thank you for sharing, I could not leave very easily either. Took me 17 years, and I also left him once in 2015 but went back. That time I did not know what I know know. You are probably the same, now we know that they will never change. Good luck!!!🤞

[@diandreabrown8711]

@katalinlakatos496 so true. My focus is on moving :) i wish you and everyone here all the best!

[@KJ-gx7bg]

I left mine when we were actually cool. The mental and physical abuse was so bad I was able to get a restraining order and kicked him out the home he swore I couldn’t afford without him…. And I pressed charges every time he violated and I took him to court and won full custody and relocation of our child and I left the state…. He contacted me 5 months ago and I wasn’t trying to hear ish… he was so hurt and I danced on every one of his feelings and it felt good to not give a f…. By the way when I I left I also obtained my CCW and purchased one, so he had 23 reasons not to f with me I was fed up and took my life back from him and he went ghost since I set boundaries

[@ceasarasmith5297]

Had to leave my sister, because she just won't change. She is in her 70's and relentless at blaming me. Everything you said she said!!! Wow!!

[@Renee_Marie]

Same with my brother.

[@RippleDrop.]

Sisters are worst. You'd think a woman in the same family has your back but nooooooooo

[@ginnymunoz5206]

I’ve been watching your videos for a few months now. I saw the light today narcissism is a mental illness. There is nothing I can do to help and or stop it.

[@larisaanderson1476]

I just left my Narcissist yesturday. He was mentally, verbally and physically abusive. I called police to remove him from the home..Police told me he went crazy and said all bad and hurtful things about me when they took him to jail. Today im doing me talked to a woman from a agency that help domestic violence Survivors and i told her my story, she told me i was a risk for homicide..so she helped me get a TRO...temporary restraining order within a hour...they served him in jail....then today i did me for once...Bought my first Iphone whih i always wanted and went home, called a locksmith and changed my locks. Lee you helped me with your videos during my divorce and now with this breakup too i take refuge in learning ...im not a Narc magnet but a Empath...a survivor

[@beverlytaylor1745]

Lee, you help make sense of the nonsense. It was a blessing to find you way back when. Out for a year, divorced, and healing, thriving and happy. 🙏🕊🙌

[@MentalHealness]

Stay strong 💪