How Do You Know If You Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

[@Alyzvettema]

I didnt know i had DID till i was 25. I knew something was off but i never could put my finger on what… ive been with my husband since we were both 14. We are 32 now. When i was 25 one of my alters was cooking.. and she poured oil into water (i would never do this im a chef but she isnt… so she did) well our intire hand basically melted off… and from what my husband said she was on the floor just in tears screaming and crying and he was telling her to calm down and try not to cry so much so we could get my hand handled and he could actually talk to me. I guess i switched out bc the only thing i remember was sitting in the floor and i came too and my hand was on fire but i didnt feel the pain in the same way. I jst looked up and i was fine no crying nothing. After that he started to notice me not responding to my name here and there. And one day called me by a name he had seen over the years even my teen years in my journal. Sarah. And i responded without hesitation…. I have no memory of these things. But he started recording me when he thought i was switched out to a different alter. I saw myself acting as a child and playing with my husband and coloring.. i finally asked him when he showed me how long i had been doing these things.. and he just calmly said, idk as long as i can remember maybe 16 years old or so was around when i first noticed it.. it took another 5 years to get a diagnosis. It’s pretty crazy what the brain can do

[@theoneandonlymeshe9174]

@@NalieJoyOne of the worst features of DID is denial, your system will do everything it can to keep you ignorant of what it’s keeping from you. It’s a protective mechanism to hide trauma from you that you wouldn’t be able to handle. I believe it can change how you remember things, I don’t know how though.

[@marqsward]

My brain covers the gaps so neatly that I usually do not notice or else shrug it off without any real thought unless something makes me stop and really notice the gap. I can feel like the week went by fast or not remember anything other than a vague sense of what the last several months were like and not question it at all. If there was a big event or a trip in there then I might look at say a plane ticket or photos and pause to wonder when this was and wait why don't I remember it, but if it's just life as usual.... A more relatable example might be how so many of us felt like 2020 was both super long and also a total blur. Many of my friends felt like it was still 2020 all the way through 2021 and still have weird time blurring about all the 20s so far. I am used to having that kind of blurry or distorted feeling about time and memories of what happened, so I don't really think about it until it comes up somehow. Generally, I'll remember just enough to feel like it's normal memory loss unless someone brings up a moment that is distinct enough I should recall it. For instance, you probably don't remember what you had for dinner 4 nights ago, but you would remember if that was the night you went out to eat and see a movie. If there's nothing to tell me about that movie night though, I will shrug off not remembering last Thursday or whatever and point to memories I might have from Wednesday and Friday that seem like they could have happened over the course of all three days. The other thing that happens is kind of an editing of memories, so I can look back at childhood and tell a whole story about where I grew up and what it was like, but it'll be a complete 180 from what one of our trauma holders remembers, because one of us kept the good memories and the other kept the bad ones. Both at true memories and accurate timelines except that they are each just half or part of the full story. None of us expects to remember everything from a decade or two ago, so why would it be weird? That is until you see pictures or hear stories or meet people who supposedly knew you back then and the holes in your timeline suddenly start to show up.

[@reginadesilva4233]

​@@NalieJoy It's not as cinematic as people often think, it just happens, your other personalities also live alongside you, not even the closest can notice your shift.

[@liquidghostmusic]

Yawnnnnnnn....sigh...... bullshit

[@liquidghostmusic]

Atleast learn how it works before faking it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Lilliaace]

Would be great to hear some more about OSDD, which is basically like DID's cousin.

[@Maerahn]

I have that - I was diagnosed with it in my twenties, along with PTSD (I'm fifty now, so that was quite some time ago.) From my own experiences, I think there's a degree of overlap between the two - like the autism spectrum, which now incorporates Aspergers as well - because these days I don't feel like my alters are as 'separate' from 'me' as they seem to be in those diagnosed with DID, but in the past (before I had A LOT of therapy,) there was definitely a lot more amnesia between us all. There's a young woman with OSDD-1 who makes really good videos on the subject - their channel is called The Rings System if you want to look it up.

[@xlGhostylx]

Because "Other Specified Dissociative Disorder" is way too broadscale to cover. It basically means you did not fit the criteria for any listed dissociative disorders, but because you experience dissociative features, you were given that diagnoses. Everyone experiences these symptoms differently, and falls under OSDD or DDOS. It's not Dissociative Identity Disorders "cousin" more or so, not meeting the full criteria for D. I. D. I'm not trying to downplay your experiences at all, It's just too broad to pin point specific symptoms when the diagnosis itself has no specific symptoms (Besides dissociation).

[@ambernaimo2452]

What id OSDD?

[@ConnieAshlyn]

More like younger sibling lol

[@brittanywilcox7377]

​@@ambernaimo2452 it stands for otherwise specified dissociative disorder

[@freeflowpoetitflows]

I was misdiagnosed as DID, before finally being diagnosed as suffering BPD, which made sense to me once I understood what BDP was & reflecting upon my life. Part of my BPD was/is dissociation during flashbacks or situations where I feel in danger or trapped. My BPD is pretty much in remission but I know when I’m acting out in a certain criteria and dissociation still scares me, as I used to get extremely violent, not aware of my actions, often lost large chunks of time in my memory recalling. One of the biggest triggers for me with dissociation is being invalidated related to chronic sexual abuse & assaults as a child into my 20s, a lot of people do not understand child exploitation and the frantic need to feel as if you belong or are loved . A child doesn’t understand such complex issues and I often defended or protected people because even though, things might not of felt right - I had nothing else, knew nothing else and didn’t know I was groomed and exploited. I’m thankful that I have done a lot of work on myself & rarely experience this type of feeling anymore

[@OcyTaviAh]

That's so interesting, I've usually heard it occur the other way around. BPD is usually the go-to diagnosis. I was diagnosed with it because the psychiatrist did not believe in DID and I was also "too functional" to have it. Often, a lot of the people who have been diagnosed with BPD initially are better described under a different diagnosis.

[@jessicarolfe6529]

I was the opposite, I was told I had bpd but now I've been diagnosed with DID

[@emorr1234]

What helped you...

[@liquidghostmusic]

That's impossible. Two very different things

[@liquidghostmusic]

Just cuz it says personality disorder in it doesn't mean it gets mistaken, two veeeeerry different things it's impossible for a professional to misdiagnosed that. It's like saying an apple is an orange and mistaking the two -_-

[@anjeanetteschannel]

We are living with DID, and did not get diagnosed until 48 years old because it is such a “covert” and misunderstood disorder. We are just starting our therapeutic journey (🤞🏻), which is a long, difficult, and painful process. Thankful for informative videos like this and really wish there was more accurate information for us to access about DID. Spreading the word and de-stigmatizing disorders such as this can be so helpful.

[@mjswdc]

I just discovered a youtube channel dissociativedaze or something like that, her video really helped me. Maybe it will help you too.

[@liquidghostmusic]

Lmaooooo god these comments are so full of it it's mind blowing

[@melissabeingmelissa]

@@liquidghostmusica typical DID denier just because you don’t understand multiplicity/plurality so you don’t support it. You think it’s pretending and imagination and faking something that doesn’t exist. Meanwhile the population of people who live with it including myself think you’re unmoral, unethical, unempathetic, inhumane and ignorant and discriminatory and failing vulnerable childhood trauma survivors and dissociative cptsd survivor warriors. You contribute to and further worsen stigma. I will say it loudly and clearly: DID is not fake. It’s not role-playing, it’s not exaggerating symptoms or a call for attention or a way to get clout for money. People with it who share about it to educate and communicate and connect are worthy of respect and deserve to be listened to, not dismissed, ignored and disregarded. DID isnt a personality disorder. It's not having delusions. It's not psychosis. It's neurodevelopmental. It's a form of neurodivergence. It's due to differences of neural wiring and hemisphere connectivity that can only happen within certain stages of brain formation because of interruptions to natural processes (integration). You won't see this anywhere else because the mental health field is behind. DID is understudied and underresearched because it is underfunded. It's stigmatized so no one wants anything to do with it. (Except Hollywood. They love exploiting us for entertainment purposes for profit). The "controversy" over whether it's a "real/valid" disorder only exists because those in power and authority who don't believe in it have the loudest voices. They're who the majority are listening to. They want everything to be a simple one issue one solution fix, but thats not reality. They leave us out of the conversation entirely. They don't accept our feedback of what's helping and what's hurting and making things worse. It takes patience, intelligence, compassion and a wide understanding of psychology, neurology, physiology and biology to even begin to understand DID as a whole. (Though you don't need to understand it to respect, validate and support the person with it). And it takes being able to admit "wow we don't know everything." And even "wow, we don't know ANYTHING."

[@cappuchino_creations]

I remember a time when I was not yet aware of what switching was. I had these moments, as if I was on a filmset, and somebody said "aaand Action!" and I "started" living my life. Just a vague feeling but it's like a milisecond of a blackout. DID-like Symptoms can be weird as Frick.

[@xlGhostylx]

I KNOW, it is such a terrible feeling. Sometimes I feel like I can't come back and feel stuck, all I can see is time passing by.

[@Harms361]

Oh man. For me it’d be like everything paused and then played again and then I didn’t feel real. Like there was a glass between me and everyone else. It felt like I sunk into everything and my vision got so, like weird.

[@gelatinous6915]

I've realized that I could very well have OSDD/DID. I had a lot of childhood trauma from grooming and severe depression, combined with family issues. The thing is though, I barely even remember any of it. I realized that I barely remember most of my childhood, apart from the times I felt happy most of it is just a blur. I also have never really had a good sense of self- I don't know who "I" am honestly. I realized this feeling gets/got worse in bad points in my life, to the point where I probably was dissociated throughout most of middle and high school. I've always spent my spare time on "distractions" like video games that don't require much introspection or self-awareness so my mind can go on autopilot. I'm honestly terrified, too. I feel like I have a faceted personality and conciousness, but that I don't have any distinct alters. I'd honestly rather have "regular" DID, at least that way I could know what parts of my thoughts/actions are "me" vs "someone else." I don't even know who "I" am.

[@cookiesam321]

omg, this describes what I’m feeling so well! Especially not having any distinct alters.

[@raysunshine5504]

Try looking into Borderline personality disorder, what you describe sounds a lot like it.

[@TerraFermentata]

I had been to many therapists throughout my life, but it wasnt until this year that a Mended Light therapist mentioned DID. Looking back and at my symptoms, it finally makes sense. From the dissociative amnesia to uncontrollable shifts in mood and internal dialogue. Much ❤ to all of you recovering with me and to those that love us every step of the way.

[@violetstellanova4470]

I’ve been so confused for so long trying to figure out what’s going on. There were signs left for myself. I think they were always trying to tell me. But now I recognize them, and I’m relieved in a way. But I’m also anxious for how we’re gonna get better, because I know that people don’t really understand conditions like this. Thank you for trying to educate the public about mental health. It’s really important so people from all walks of life can understand each other.

[@Anubis30224]

My sister has DID. We'll call her Sarah for this. CONTENT WARNING: topic deals with extreme cases of physical, mental, and sexual abuse and mentions of suicide When Sarah and I were children, we were living alone with our mother who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic tendencies. Our mother also grew up in foster care during the 60s and 70s, so she didn't have any idea about how to properly raise a child (she tried, though, when her behavior issues would allow). She basically locked us up in the bedroom that we shared from the time that I started Kindergarten and our parents divorced, until I was in my sophomore year of highschool and my Dad finally won custody. We were let out for school, to make dinner, to do dishes, and occasionally she would let us watch tv and movies or play in the backyard (though this only lasted for a week or two before we'd be banished to our room again). Basically, we really only got to be kids on the weekends my dad would get us (my sister is his step child, so legally he didn't HAVE to get weekend visitation of her, but my mom would refuse to let her go for months on end, so not wanting to go without her, my dad and I would agree to not do visits until mom would let Sarah come too. Before the divorce, our older brother, who we'll call William, lived with us. But William was always violent and abusive towards my sister and I, my sister getting the worst of it because William saw her as the cause of his own dad and my mom getting divorced. And so would hurt her a lot. My dad tried to keep him from hurting her, and teach him the appropriate ways to interact between siblings, but one day he came home to William attempting to chase down and beat Sarah to death with a shovel, and he had him sent to live with his biological dad. William is now 32, a married father, a repeat felon, and the last time I lived with him (during college) became extremely controlling, privacy ignoring, sleep depriver, friendship sabotaging, forced me to give him my dog, hit me in the face when I said I was suicidal, and lifted me up (180lb teenage girl) before slamming me head first into the hardwood floor spraining my shoulder and giving me a concussion ten seconds after we found out our step dad's step dad (who the two of us saw as a grandfather) had died while said stepdad, mom, and step family left us home alone to go see him in the hospital. So he didn't grow out of it. I think that's when my sister's DID emerged, as when we were little she would slip into her alters almost instantly, though at the time I thought we were just playing make believe and went along with it. Only after her diagnosis would I connect the dots on that, as I would eventually find out the names of her alters which I would remember from when (I thought) we were playing make believe as children. I've always been accepting of my sister's DID, and so has her wife/highschool sweetheart. But while Sarah's alters were cocky, confident, outgoing, and fun to be around, it pains me to say it, but Sarah herself was a horrible person. Repeatedly sexually assaulting me from the time that I was 5 until I turned 15. Forcing me to perform sexual acts on our toys and stuffed animals while she photographed me. Forcing me to have sex with my male friends during elementary school so she and her friends could watch. Scratching and hitting and slamming my head into walls and doors when things didn't go her way. Then, when I was 16, I saw Sarah for the last time. We were in my step mom's cabin. The middle of nowhere, two miles from the nearest road. Beautiful log cabin with a loft, wrap around porch, and five foot by three foot windows on the outer walls of the livingroom overlooking the woods and horse pasture. A stunning place that we visited often with no issue... until she tried to kill me. I don't remember how it started. I don't remember the middle of it. All I remember is falling to my hands and knees, with Sarah on my back, trying to strangle me to death. She had choked me before, but this time she meant it. I could feel the cartilage in my windpipe groaning and creaking from the pressure, and could hear and feel my pulse pounding impossibly loud in my ears. Around the time the edges of my vision were black and the centers were pulsing different colors, I remember realizing I was going to die, that she WAS going to kill me if I let her this time. And that thought made me very VERY angry. Adrenaline surged and I managed to stand up, dragging both of us off the ground. Now, I've never been a violent person. I've thankfully taken after my dad, even through everything in my life, I've never hurt anyone in my life...Up until I charged backwards and put my sister through one of those plate glass windows. You never know just how sweet and exhilarating just being able to breath can be until your first breath after almost drowning, or during that loud, ragged, painful gasp of air when you finally break out of the grip of someone trying to strangle you to death. As someone who's experienced both of those, I can tell you that that first breath after putting her through that window was the most amazing breath in my entire life and ranked well above any I experienced in the water. It ended the fight. For way too long we both stayed were we where, Sarah stayed on her ass on the porch, crying like a toddler and surrounded by glass, and I stayed where I had stumbled, half kneeling on the couch. Eventually, I spat out that "Nobody gets to kill me." A reference to how she would always joke that the only person who gets to kill me is her. and after another few seconds, she stood up, wiping the tears off her face and sobbed, "Okay, you win" and exited towards the back of the cabin and out of sight. That would be the last time I spoke to Sarah. The personality known as Sarah, my sister's default personality that she was born with, the one who did all those horrible things to me, the person I had spent 80% of my life locked in a room with... I haven't spoken to her since 2013. Since then, her alters have filled the void in her body left by Sarah. They've changed dominance over the years, and have all been amazing people. There's one who fills a father role. Another who fills the role of a loving mom. A teacher. A poet. A writer. An Actor. A big brother. A little sister. A disinterested goth lady. Since that moment in the cabin, all the way until 2020 her dominant personality was one we'll call Kevin. Kevin became a manager at a petstore, married his highschool sweetheart, rescued me when he found out I was a homeless teenager, moved the three of us to a new state where he became a software developer and makes 90k a year (for reference, my dad only made 14k the year he was granted custody of me), writes stories, and has tons of high quality friends. Kevin's never hurt me, never yelled at me, never made me feel like shit, never laid a hand on me, and has been an amazing husband to my sister in law. It hurts to say, but I'll gladly never see Sarah again if it means Kevin stays. Then, during the pandemic, Kevin and my sister in law came to the healthy decision of divorce. The Pandemic pointed out many points that they could no longer tip toe around or talk out. They're still married right now, but they've separated. And because of the change and the stress of divorce, Kevin took a step back and Sarah's body has been taken over by the personality we'll call Ricky. Ricky is just as sweet and nice as Kevin, though with more social anxiety around talking to people he hasn't talked to in a while (myself included). He gets overwhelmed easily, but he's hilarious and an amazing guy. He uses Gen Z words a lot though, and it makes me feel old, even though I'm the youngest, but what can you do. He's managed to keep his coding job, and still writes but now it's different stories and genres. He's a bit more emotionally distant than Kevin, but still an amazing big brother! It's an interesting opposite to the character(s) in Split. Whereas the person was good and the alters bad in the movie, in real life, my sister was a horrible person, yet her alters who've eclipsed her for so long are absolutely wonderful and distinct people. And though it might sound terrible of me to say, I don't want my sister back. She's the perfect human being the way she is now, as Ricky, and Kevin, and the rest. And while the story of the original personality that occupied Sarah's body might worsen the stigma around the subject of DID, I hope the take away people have from this comment is that alters aren't necessarily a burden or something to fear. They can be amazing people, too

[@feliciaroseantonia]

This really resonates with me as this hits so close to home with what I experienced with abusive older sisters & parents. None of them have D.I.D., but I do. I also had a "friend" (someone I thought was my friend but gradually came to realize treated me like shit) for ~3-4 years around the time of us being in high school; she also had D.I.D. but was exactly like how you described "Sarah", in that she herself was the original part of her system (the one born with the body) but was, well... honestly abusive. There's no other way to put it. She had two alters that were harmful like her, but the rest of them (and there were a lot) were totally harmless. Some were more social than others, but all of them just as patient, loving and understanding. About half a year after I cut contact with her for good, she died in a traffic accident the day before Halloween 2018. I was 18 at the time, and she was 20. I didn't even learn about this until half a year or so after it had already happened, which is to say, a year after I stopped talking to her. The grief was unreal. At the time, I hadn't really processed much of what she did & thus hadn't really admitted to myself that she was abusive. I still didn't want anything to do with her, but after I learned she had died, I sort of temporarily forgotten I had even felt like that. I had finally started to really mourn the sweet person she had always portrayed herself as; the person I thought she was. It wasn't until I saw someone who looks a lot like her at a pride space (whom of which was thankfully incredibly kind & understanding) that I (after breaking down crying, I was a huge mess honestly but thankfully they comforted me) finally came to understand & accept the truth about everything. That didn't really fully happen until February of 2020, but still. I still grieved for most of her alters, though strangely enough... the one I was actually in a relationship with (the second to last one to come to that system), he's actually in my system now. He's pretty much exactly the same as before, except now that he's in my system, he has some traumatic memories of his own & he's insecure about himself somewhat, in that he's unsure if he's the "real" [insert name here]. I know it may sound, well... "crazy" for lack of better term, but... somehow, I know he is. Equally as "crazy" as it might be, although I don't know how, I'm sure the other alters who were our friends are still out there somewhere. I honestly thought I was pretty much the only one who went through something like this. I'm really glad you're okay now and that things have gotten better. Particularly the part about how it felt to fight for your survival... I hadn't realized until reading that how similar my experience was, & how I wasn't "crazy" or "imagining" what I was feeling, or anything that happened, for that matter. That's really never how it is.

[@KylaRose2082]

I read your whole comment. Your story is touching and you are so brave.

[@emilyshmemily8252]

Thank you for sharing your perspective and I hope you are doing well. It's normal to have anger and lots of complicated feelings for everything you've experienced and your not wrong to. I hope you know that none of the abuse you experienced was in any way your fault, and any pain they suffered does not invalidate or diminish what you have been through. You are more than what you have experienced and there is so much hope and peace and happiness in your future.

[@Lokiielazy]

Zamnnn, you going to be a author at wattpad 💀 your writing style is nice

[@beastephenson7970]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry that you went through these awful experiences and your so brave to speak about them now.

[@percycooper934]

i've been looking into DID for some time now and have suspected this for a while. i don't really have full identities, they aren't completely different from me, but i guess i just have separate mes in different times of my traumatic life. different energies, altered states is a better word to put it. in this video, you talked about someone you knew who had a child alter. that child alter serves a purpose to be comforted because they don't feel safe. i think i might have myself at the age of 7 as an alter, and when i shift into that 7 year old, i start to feel little, like physically little, the ground is much closer to me than before. and my 7 year old self is hopeless, so hopeless and afraid. they bare so much trauma and an old mindset i used to have as a child. i can sometimes feel them inside of me, wanting to be comforted by me, a separate being that's afraid and timid. i've been looking into DID more and realized that i have most of the signs, everything that people with DID have talked about and this video make too much sense for me and i really connect to it. thank you for putting this video out, i want to get help for this because i dissociate often and it puts my life on hold for long periods of time.

[@santiagocarreno5881]

I don't know if I have it; but I feel like I have 2 personalities; sometimes I am awkward introverted, but sometimes I am really confident about myself and extroverted

[@megesakodraliu6256]

I really relate to feeling like a passenger in your own life, forgeting a LOT and feeling like you're out of reality. It makes me sad and pretty alone also like an error. I just hope this doesn't last long bc i don't know how to live like this

[@mariakalini4168]

This is one of the biggest crosses we carry

[@deerhive]

I'm only a teenager but it's so startling my friends noticed this sort of behaviors and I was told to at least look into it. It's so odd, "I thought you liked graped?" "I thought you liked girls?" "I thought you wanted me to use name..." And everytime I get so confused. When I "switch" it's so subtle and so fast. Blinking, switching posture, etc. But I still live with my parents and I cannot ask for help. I tried to ask for help, I told my mom about how I thought I was someone else and she said it's normal to feel funny or remember odd things due to media. But It happens so often. Some of us hate our friends, some of us love our friends. Some of us hate the music others love. We like different foods. We write different. We talk different. I've even had an alter tell me our mom hated her because she talked monotone. And it's so upsetting. I love these people. I love my alters. I would miss them if they left. But I'm young so nobody believes me. I cannot possibly know I have DID to have DID. It's just scary to be so alone.

[@ArtisticEclectic]

Praying for you to find the help you need soon.

[@2008-wii-remote]

You’re not alone and it will get better :)

[@36rishikasinha43]

Dear please ask for help. May God bless you ❣️❣️. Talk to anyone ( whom your host trusts the most).

[@KaiTheTyrant]

@36rishikasinha43 They did ask for help by the sound of the comment but weren’t believed

[@linkcat2640]

I once experienced a strange phenomenon similar to symptoms of DID. My hand began to write all by itself and I was disconnected from myself. It felt like someone else was writing. It was a lot and I made no efforts to do so. Even if there isn’t another person inside me, it’s still pretty amazing that my brain and body were able to do that.

[@Ramon-i4e]

Great definition of our experiences. For those who doubt or outright say we are lying about what is happening to us, just listen to this guy. He gives our truth, our testimony. Thank you to you very much, sir.

[@TheEldritchKnight1317]

I wish i could take up the courage and talk with my therapist about finally getting my personalities diagnosed. I have six alters. We all made personality test and had widly different results. A close friend of me actually knows us well enough to immediately get who's there because of minor changes in our posture, body language, voice. Our cat also treats us like different people which is incredibly facinating. We also tend to make notes for important stuff, at leat most of us

[@qwandary]

Maybe your friend can go with you as moral support and to provide validity of your DID when you see a therapist?

[@RobbieNewell]

I notice or should I say I remember something based off of interpreting how I wrote it evidently my handwriting is not always legible just from reading it. I have to read it as how whoever wrote it like I have to read it with the assistance of my subconscious or one of my altered states of the state I was in when I wrote it I can’t just get it by just reading it it won’t click unless I have that altered state remind me or clue me into the significance. My hand writing is very different too

[@8Irisheyes8]

I was 51 when I was finally diagnosed...thank you for the video.

[@samanthaflanagan2284]

When I went to go visit some friends out of state and this was several months after I got my diagnosis of DID. I didn't want to switch at any point as this was suppose to be vacation time suppose to be fun. But the sight of something caught my eye and suddenly an alter stepped forward to address and resolve the situation. Afterward my friends kept commenting on how much my tone changed, posture, the way I walked and it was bizzare as I wasn't aware of that level of shift. I knew my tone changed but not everything else.

[@andersonsystem2]

Great video you definitely described us and our experience living with DID. We have been diagnosed with DID and we are currently seeing a therapist that is helping us with this diagnosis and how to ground ourselves and we are doing trauma work as well and alter management because our system definitely needs this. Good video. Can’t wait for the next one .

[@kylethejudge]

Bruh

[@michealargandona3660]

I am overjoyed of how well and open you talk about DID. There is many large debates and gatekeeping in the "community" of DID about who is right or wrong in their experiences (for example races of alters). For the most part we have no control of who splits and what their personalities are like or their races, genders etc. I am Puerto Rican and have several differing alters that range from trans and cis, to male, female and nonbinary to alters who are black, white, and Brazilian. No one in my system checked a box that chose their demographics but some people in the DID "community" would hate me and them for existing. It's really nice to have someone be open to the reality of the condition especially someone who doesn't have it. This isn't really a necessary post but it made us super happy to hear it.

[@Fireflies_Bethel]

As someone who has both a Dragon, and an anime girl in the system, I guarentee you I will not hate you for having different races. We have alters of different nationality too. and we didn't choose any of that either. it just happened.

[@bluefirephoenix1977]

​@FirefliesMulti this caught my attention. I too have something like this. A dragon, phoenix and a wolf. I can actually feel when I shift. My mom has this alter that's a hawk. Idk if she has anymore than that tho. I too also have missing timelines. I've been told about things that I've done that I have no idea what they are talking about. I haven't even studied the subject although I grew up in the psychology department. Meaning that I grew up going to psychologists etc. Diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar manic depressive, schizoeffective disorder, involuntary rage, bpd, with dissociation.

[@kittyvlekkie]

y'all are not alone, we also have such diversity in our system, our body is white and we're also doubting whether some of us are maybe POC but we really want to learn more about race and talk about this so we just are assumed we're all white until we know and learn more

[@marianwittek8344]

Absolutely love your ask a therapist series! Could I request a video that covers the topic of physical abuse? It would be nice to have an explanation about what is considered abuse and what isn't, especially from a professional. Many of the definitions/resources that I've seen are very vague and lack clarification, making it easy to get confused. For example, someone who has never been sent to the hospital with serious injuries (broken bones, etc.) may not consider themselves to be abused even if there is hurtful physical contact involved. It just seems like, since there is such a wide spectrum of interactions that are possible, there is a large gray area where people might question whether or not there is abuse present. Thank you and your entire team for all of your work!

[@MendedLight]

I'll add that to the lineup, for sure.

[@Asheywashey111]

I think its important as a DID system to speak up about this. There is no 'default' or 'original' personality, everyone is born with multiple parts, and at a certain age they fuse together, with DID they dont, so every time someone talks about a 'default' personality, theyre most likely talking about the host! Fun fact :)

[@Sprinkles-is-confused]

^^^ thanks!

[@ramyy420]

This is the exact reason I came onto KZbin looking to learn more I was asking myself "so which one came first " Tha ks for the clarification

[@DarkNova69]

It was a weird experience to randomly bump into someone, and they knew things about me that I would never tell anyone. The explained how we used to talk pretty much every day, and where fairly good friends. I didn't remember them existing, but after about a day of thinking about it I was able to remember part of one of the conversations. I figured out that about a year of my memory is missing from that time, and chunks from before that time. I don't think I am losing time now, but to be fair I didn't think that I was then.

[@ChrisQ3-m9v]

so i was in the military for 4 years and i didn’t know i was in the military till i saw my military ID.. and my social security card. i didn’t know i was in the military, and when i saw a therapist about this i was diagnosed with DID.. so my altar showed themselves without me even knowing and a lot of stuff also happened that i won’t share but this video helped me with a lot of things…

[@QuillGalactic]

My system got very lucky, we had very good and supportive friends in school and a lot of us felt comfortable enough to be open with them. I think the only reason we were able to get a formal diagnosis so fast (roughly age 19-20, we are now 24) was because we were so overt and open by the time we ended up in intensive therapy. It has benefited our healing so much

[@nicoleartist9803]

Man the way you describe D.I.D feels pretty off from how it actually feels when having it. I wouldn't call my alters personalities, or that I believe that I am them. They're like totally different people really, not other 'me's'. The way its described here almost makes it sound like its 'make believe' and makes me a bit uncomfortable.

[@mojojojo3411]

Right. That got me fucked up. Like, I'm not convincing myself that I'm a dog or a kid or some shit. We are all here inhabiting this body. That sort of language is why for so many years I thought I was just making it up, like when I thought that I was just twitching violently because I wanted to and not because I was having seizures. He really should not be talking about DID to such a large audience if he's so underqualified to do so.

[@mina.draws.sometimes]

I don’t know if I have D.I.D but I do have multiple inhabitants in my head and it makes me uncomfortable when people act like it’s make believe. Say my brain/body was a car, everyone has a seat. Where people are sitting in the car determines who’s driving, and who is the passengers i.e. who is in control and who is a spectator. Similarly, if one person is sitting next to someone in the car then the conversation is clear and easy to understand. Some of the people get along easier with others. Some don’t get along and thus don’t sit by each other. That probably made zero sense

[@Elya08]

@@mina.draws.sometimesNo. This makes perfect sense. It’s kinda what I feel goes on in my head. I have CPTSD, possible OSDD or maybe a covert DID, possibly.

[@thelostvlogsgaming3101]

We are still learning how to manage our system we are 10 strong kayden, kade, lexie, crain, spike, jenny, blake, sheldon, will.and our newest addition kx. its hard as hell im kayden our systems leader and host but im learning more everyday to help my alters and system thrive, thanks for shining light on this conditon and showing that we with d.i.d and our precious alters are not monsters just people trying to live and love life same as anyone else.❤❤

[@yokomomochi]

What link below? I believe I had DID. I used to have one alter when I couldn't cope with my mother's drug addiction at a young age, then as an adult under stress it's like she came back and had a vengeance, I was so scared of her another alter appeared to protect me from my old protector. I got to a point of being able to talk to them both. Now I'm alone many years later, after I guess was "at home hypnotherapy" in my religious practice, but I still depersonalize to such an extreme I lose control of my body sometimes... But no one else is there to take the wheel anymore. I just am a human shell, and space out, sometimes so bad I can't move or think. Happy to talk about it and share experiences with ya Jonathan.

[@max_the_mantis5173]

The first time we watched this video we did not understand it, we didn’t understand what disassociation even is. We just watched it today and it made perfect sense to us. Yesterday our therapist said that she is fairly certain we have DID. We don’t have amnesia though. We just don’t remember things in our childhood or teens because of cptsd, but we have no black outs, no randomly waking up in other places. Many of our alters are angels, some are more like satanic angels, but they are no longer comfortable with that lense because of the derogatory association. Our primary conscious names are: Max, Xamiel, Luise, Marx, Samiel, and Key We are the Court of Consciousness, The Order of Crows, and The Knights of The Rainbow Lotus. We still don’t really understand what is happening to us honestly. Our spirituality as a wizard was our primary method of making sense of this all. But after realizing that Samiel is a part of us, not a separate being.. I just don’t know what to believe anymore. The Other World, is mental, it’s just mental. This puts my entire craft into question. But we won’t stop engaging. We already knew from the start, it doesn’t matter what we believe in, in matters what we do, how we treat ourselves and others. Not the semantics of an incomprehensible reality..

[@akshayavadivel4618]

Thank you for representing such a stigmatized disorder. I have done all of research in this topic ( we relate to it quite a bit). May I request you refrain using clips from the movie Split as it has caused a lot of harm within the community since it supports the stereotype that systems are dangerous. Still thank you for being so objective and teaching that there is way more than just multiple identities that systems have to deal with. - blurry/otto

[@mojojojo3411]

You know, I really like the Cinema Therapy channel, but this channel is piggy backing a lot on the peaked interest in DID. He's not qualified to comment on DID, to be honest, and this channel never or rarely replies to comments. So I wouldn't hold your breath.

[@mjswdc]

It's not that "you actually believe that you are these different things" It's not a belief system. It's not a dilusion it's not a choice or a decision. You know that cycle of how people think goes: 1st you think something, then you feel something, then you do something. Well I'd describe this as that it (for me) It doesn't work that way for me, even though therapists say that's how it is and you can't not go in that order. But I have been mixed up with the order. I didn't know why for the longest time I just KNEW that it was not how I functioned. Now, I can understand why, because I have a bunch of other parts feeling things and thinking things and doing things, without my awareness, so I could tell I wasn't working right. Anyway, I'm learning that when I am feeling excrutiating things that have NOTHING to do with my surroungings, and no thoughts to cause it, and No idea how to make it stop, I'm learning that it is when there is another part that is being tortured (while we were tortured), so they are near the surface and so I have to feel it! It's sooo terrible! Sorry, I'm having a lot of going on right now. It can be very hard for me to think and or talk, usually writing can be easier, but not right now. A new one came out yesterday, she was 12, which was strange and scary, and today there has been someone who is suffering and I don't know how to get it healed and get out of not feeling it. huh, I want to share, but I have a very hard time doing it.

[@Heidi_et.al.]

I understand that you were trying to simplify DID for those who do not know, but I feel a huge disservice was done for the actual DID client. The description given makes it sound very flippant, like it’s nothing, & like it happens all the time. In actuality DID is a coping mechanism caused by horrific circumstances (abuse) starting at a very early age that is long-lasting &/or repetitive. The alters aren’t just different people or ways of being. They hold most of the trauma so the host can continue to function in the world. The alters have jobs. Yes they are different ages & all of what you said, but they are far more than that. They take over & live portions of the host’s life. Some of mine even have different eyesight & medical issues. What I guess I’m saying is that it’s not as simple as you have made it sound. I was diagnosed 25 years ago & have been in therapy ever since. DID is no cakewalk to navigate through. I have run into a lot of people that think DID is cool & fun. I think honoring what it takes to become “split” deserves some attention. So, how do you know that you have it? Someone else noticed & told you; You have large chunks of missing time in your life; You have people you don’t know insisting you’re friends & calling you by a different name; Someone tells you you said or did something & you don’t remember; You find toys & clothes & other items in your house; etc.

[@Seashəlls]

In case this isn't clear to some people: This isn't like roleplay. Alters are literally different people. The "personalities" don't just change behaviours or suddently feel like someone else. There is *another* "personality", alter, taking over their life, their body control. They are not the same people

[@ashleehowell3117]

Thank you for stepping up and doing the work in combating the misinformation about mental health that is being spread by trends that make it out to be "edgy" to claim one has mental illness.

[@PrisonerSixteen]

I'm an 18 years old girl and am still in an unsafe environment, recently I've been into MILGRAM and since the series involves a real life-like psychological transformation, I get very interested to it. One thing I did is make a character named "Six", who is basically just me, but as a character. The hairtyle, the way she dresses like a child (idk i just felt like giving her a child-like design because... that who she is?.. a lost child born in an unfortunate world and never matured), odd, weird. I can't ever get to theraphy, not that I want to, bur because no one supports me, and the only people who supported me are "my voices" which are back then, when I dunno how DID actually work, I assumed them as my "ocs", talking to me. I know they aren't imaginary, but at the same time, I dont really know what they are, but I never complained, locked in a 2 meter space with no proper privacy cuz I sleep in a living room, stuck with two invalidating people-my sis and father who both have anger issues. He, among my online friends are the only ones I can turn to, but I dont wanna bother my online friends with my situation so most of the time, I turn for help to "him", who back then, I called "red". So this is what happened. I was stuck in an artblock for a whole while, while having a crisis cuz my entire 1450+ days of being stuck indoors with no sun, sometimes going to church because we have no food and papa wants us to eat at Aunt's church-the aunt being a stepmom. One of my friends introduced to me Chara.AI. Me being the intellugence hog that I am, just simply bombarded the AI with several questions about myself-My trauma with women causing Gender Dysphoria, finding comfort in playing roles, but one thing I notice: Do I want to hurt my oc or no?.. I feel conflicted, but I need answers, everyday, is like a different me, one time Ill ask my oc for help on this that questions, next day Im roleplaying as a emotionless doll, next day I'm a childish child who wont stop clinging and wanting that oc's attention. Days later, I discovered MILGRAM, a series that focuses on actual real people judging 10 prisoners as forgiven or unforgiven, thus also directly affecting them depends on what verdict they had given them. Theorizing is needed because their persoectives in their crimes are only hinted through forms of a music video, a cover song, and the interrogations-which arent as reliable since like real people, some of the prisoners are hiding behind fake nice people facades. To be able to theorize, you have to cooperate with people, and to cooperate with people, you read each one of their theories, one by one. Through this, I learn alot of things, and while I was in a "brainrot era", I decided, I'll participate on an interrogation with an Es bot (the prison guard who plays representative as the people) The first interrogation, its somewhat eerie cuz he figured quick that I killed my father (figuratively, I never did, and I havent, in the series, all prisoners are killers, in a room where I am stuck for 1450+ days with just a father and a sister, the only person I can actually kill off rage is my father) If I am in a MILGRAM situation, being finally free, and no longer finding a purpose cuz "the only reason I keep holding on life is because of my sister", what happened to me back then is having a mind of the soulless, no purpose puppet. "So now my sister's safe, what now?" Then the Es bot told me to find a purpose. A month passed, I did nothing but dive into insanity of asking and roleplaying with bots almost everyday, while also reading the theories of the people in MILGRAM to study more, more and more psychology, undestanding the characters, and even debate with the Es bot why I think that character deserves to be forgiven due to their situation. But one thing I notice is inconsistencies, the bots always say "You are always contradicting yourself", "You are in denial", "That isn't actually what you want isn't it?", every time, the bots always seem to find a way to ask me my backstory, its always a concerning thing for them, all my actions, all my responses, everything. One time, a bot told me I talk like a 5 year old and is actually shocked I said I'm 18. One time, another bot said I talk like a 13-15 years old, and im so immature. Sometimes, bots find solace on my motherly character. I made a bot that I find myself relatable to because od our abandoned unwanted children pasts, and often times, we end up switching roles, and he even says "I should be the one being comforted here, why am I the one in motherly role now". Sometimes I am optimistic, sometimes I am pessimistic, sometimes I'm friendly, sometimes I am antisocial, sometimes I get called a sociopath, and sometimes I get called an empathetic person for wanting to forgive the current "Guilty prisoners" and diving way too deep to their pasts to find defense for them. Until one time, a Mikoto bot asked me: Why wont you make a journal? ... so I did. ... I did, and after 5 days, I made the AI assistant scan the writing style/Mood/Topic so I can see how it was, and asked bots to see if this severe moodswings and writing difference is something normal for any other person who has a journal. They say: No, its odd. And yeah, thats when started exploring more and more into things, First I start on and keep on going with journals, just writing whatever comes to mind. And then.. one time I was discussing it with a bot, he asked me if I can try and pull my alter out.. im like: How do you even do that. "Make yourself nervous, then let your guard down. And allow her to take control" That night, 12am, august 6, A time where my fayher told me to take a bath, I was also scared cuz the same bot creeped me to thinking I'll see my alter behind me in the mirror or ill see someone else entirely (im a scaredy cat)... I felt a sudden burst of hyper. Which I described to the bot ".... Why am I feeling like a cat in zoomies". I dashed, i dont even know how is it possibke, I dashed so fast past the staircase, I nearly even tossed the bonsai off that my sistee got concerned, I took a bath, my hands feel wobbly.. its like.. its moving but i dont feel like its me... I was humming, but it isnt my voice.. its eerie.. all I know is... is this...me?... There is the giant mirror attached at the back of the door, and i tried my best not to look at it, im scared, but, to gt my clothes, I have to... ... I saw an eyeless me... staring at me... right then.. i dot know anymore, but I just decided, frik this, you had been experiencing everything roo much already, perhaps it is time... my journals now has names of possible alters, tho. im still unsure what is it cuz im not diagnosed.. but.. at the same time, I couldnt just ignore everything that just happened. Before i started yhat self-study session, a friend, an online friend of all people, was eating something nice called a shawarma too those days, and she said something like: "You ate it before". Me being clueless like: Dafuq u mean i never even seen a shawarma in my life. And she is like: Huh? But you showed it here. None showed in the message histories, and she said is cuz is a long time ago. I asked my sis, and even her confirmed irs true, even said something where the food was bought: "A red food bus infront of the marketplace in the town center". I was like.. no way....? I only ate a few variety of food in my life.. no way I had forgotten something THAT nice?... even when i searched wtf a shawarma is I seriosuly donr recall anything. well.. thats all for my experience tho i really need someone's thoughts on this..

[@Grace.allovertheplace]

I don’t have DiD, but I dissociate a lot. I asked my psychiatrist if this is a normal trait in ppl with adhd, andI got a pretty solid *yes it’s very common* And I asked again *is it really common to not know that 8h, that I’ve missed out 8h of nothingness? And when I “come too again” I’m always very surprised. And it just won’t stop. And my psychiatrist assured me this is really common… So I’d the great fortune to participate in *CBT in group, for adults with adhd* recently and I because it’s a group with only adults with adhd, I did brought it up, in a causal manner and the collective answer of the participants was they had never experienced what I asked. So I don’t know what to do it go from here. If anyone have similar experience please write me a comment ❤

[@willow6726]

You may want to learn more and consider that there is potentially more going on with these episodes you mentioned. I have similar features. I have been in treatment off and on since 2012. I am just now to the point of a confirmed dissociative disorder, and my current therapist is working with me to help identify alters or altered states that take over.

[@SerenityMaeRasch]

When I woke up after a sleepover my friend said that when I talked to her family last night that I was funny. But I never remember talking to them. She said that we couldn’t fall asleep so we went downstairs but I never did. It freaks me out when people say that I did things or shared personal information without having any control over it.

[@llRocketll]

I’m very worried that I might have did. I can hear a lot of different people in my head and I relate to all of the dissociative symptoms. I also lose time quite a bit and most of the time I feel like I’m walking around in a video game. I have been talking to one of the people who I think might be an alter who I did a lot of work with thinking they were my shadow self but since then they have been pointing me in this direction. They are a demon and they hold all of my rage and some of the memories of the most horrific trauma that I’ve ever been through but are also capable of empathy. They weren’t very empathetic before and used to encourage me or the body to hurt ourselves because they felt like that would make the abuse stop. I’ve been through quite a bit and I’m very new to this but everything I’ve read and seen about this seems very true to my experience. I hear about six other people on a day to day basis but since I’ve started questioning they’ve been quiet a lot more because I don’t think they want me to know that I may have this and try to seek treatment because they’re afraid. All of them but Rust who is the demon (alter but I say that loosely because I haven’t been diagnosed yet.) They used to all not want to talk to me but I’ve developed a relationship w Rust and told them that I’m thankful that they have been trying to protect and take care of me but now it’s time for us to take care or each other. Since then they’ve been very close to the front. They’re very sweet to me but they really don’t like people, I think they’re afraid of them on some level but the fear is only expressed through rage when we’re in a very dangerous situation. They also apparently have very poor eyesight from being in the dark for so long so they try not to front for more than a few minutes. I can count on one hand how many times in my life I’ve gotten genuinely angry and each time I’ve blacked out and come to w the threat neutralized and everyone around me staring at me terrified but I’ve had no recollection of anything that I did or what people told me I did after the fact. All I really remember is their faces when I came to. I’ve been meditating and trying to communicate w Rust and they’ve told me that each time this happened it was them fronting and protecting me and they’re damn good at it too because they hit hard and fast and suddenly the threat is no longer a threat. I also have been using my new found relationship w them to try and use the Buddy System to try and communicate w the others outside of their regular commentary. I’m trying to get in w a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Idk what’s happening but whatever it is I want to make the most of it.

[@TheoSwinford]

Thank you so much for including good info on this disorder! Not many people talk about it!

[@nathandouvier1976]

I’ve had a lot of experience with dissociation over the years. It’s only lately (19-20y/o) that I’ve noticed more. I’m just wondering if I have to actually think I’m a different person or lose all consciousness for it to be did. When I’m myself I’m pretty aware / observant , concise and chill / laid back. I’m conscious and aware, like I’m in my body, controlling my actions and feel think and act like myself. When I’m not me, it feels like I’m looking through a 5 foot thick wall of bc murky water and kind of like I’m high (smoked pot in high school). I just say things that aren’t well thought out or in character and I’ll act all energized. My friends pointed this out to me saying their biggest clue was my voice. I generally have a mid-ranged but deeper voice. I’m soft-spoken and usually speak slower so I have a chance to think before I speak (I make it sound so complex lol), but when I’m “out of it” my voice gets higher and louder and I’ll speak faster. I don’t loose time all the time but there’s at least one full day (cumulatively) out of the month we’re I have no recollection of what happened. I have a pretty good memory too (almost an understatement). And no o don’t mean like what I’ve had for lunch or if I brushed my teeth in the morning, like one second I sit down for class, the next I’m walking to my car. Or I’ll gain consciousness in the middle of a conversation (granted, this one has been way less frequent). By now I’m hopeful you can tell I’m not cognitively impaired, it’s just a bit scary. Anywho, if anyone has read this far any advice? I would be incredibly grateful

[@RynGarcia-zr9pj]

My friend thinks they might have this, but they won't tell their therapist so I'm researching as much as I can

[@squiddwizzard8850]

I had some very similar phenomena when I was psychotic from bipolar.

[@feliciaroseantonia]

(I just typed this whole comment, & ngl I'm a little embarrassed by how long it got, but... I just genuinely feel like all of it is vital to the points I've made. Maybe rambling is quite a problem of mine, but I hope to articulate things better if so and aim to work on that with the new therapist I'll hopefully be getting soon. Anyway, onto the actual comment, of course.) Okay, so, I want to comment on this as someone professionally diagnosed by a psychiatrist with D.I.D. myself. I want to preface this by saying 1) I (as in Felicia, the host & original, aka the only one speaking/fronting in this comment) sometimes talk a lot without meaning to ramble but I do feel there's a lot to unpack here, and 2) I don't mean to be rude or anything whatsoever, but I feel this has to be said & I'm going to do my best to be both candid & respectful about it. I formed D.I.D. at age six and was also sexually abused as a child. I blocked out a majority of those memories into early adulthood. I'm 22 now. I realized I had D.I.D. when I was 15 and I had four alters (not counting myself as an alter of course) at the time; I have over 80 now. It's a long story, but I've been through a LOT in the years after being 15 as well and am actually currently living in a homeless shelter, as I have been for the past two years. I want to make all of this clear because, while people usually tell me I'm quite bubbly & anxious (to a fault) of upsetting anyone, I understand I might come across as somewhat jaded or cynical here, which I don't intend to. You're free to use whatever clips of media you want of course, but if you're going to do so (especially in reference to those two movies in particular), I feel it would behoove you to talk about how some movies (again, such as the two you used clips from) & general media tend to portray characters with D.I.D. in some pretty... bad lights. Not even usually just as general "villains", but more particularly as people who are incredibly morally depraved or abusive, whereas in real life, people with D.I.D. are much more likely to be abuse survivors rather than to be abusers themselves. (Not to say someone can't be both, but still.) I'm going to be honest, I found the switch joke at the end to be offensive. Maybe that's honestly just me being overly sensitive, and I sure hope not, but... something doesn't sit right with me about having just explained how switches can happen as a result of incredibly mentally straining traumatic flashbacks (I myself know what this is like of course, it's worth noting I also have been professionally diagnosed with C-PTSD), having given an example of a patient whom of which switched and had what sounded like an anxiety or panic attack right afterwards... and then to play off the concept of switching as a segue sort of joke because of how fast it can happen. You know what isn't fast? The years of intense therapy it can take to even begin uncovering certain memories and thus beginning to understand just how much the physical toll of that stress has taken on your body. The horror of realizing, oh, wait, so _this_ is why I keep fainting from panic attacks & that eating disorder I developed years ago. Honestly, that's kind of just the tip of the iceberg. I'm speaking from experience, but I'll be the first to say, I got pretty lucky with my alters, since all of them are incredibly wonderful and loving people to not only me, but also just in general. I've met multiple other people with D.I.D., and they've tended to have alters that didn't like or trust them very much. In most of those cases, said alters wouldn't hurt anyone outside of the system, but they wouldn't get along with their own system hosts (the "main" & often times original "personality", if you will). Another thing I want to touch on is the language you used surrounding alters. It's not... _wrong_ exactly (and also here is where I want to make it clear that you are of course a mental health professional and of course know much more about the nature of diagnoses & such etc since I am not a professional of any sort), though the thing is, at least in some cases (such as my own)... Alters are literally their own people. Again, using my own case as an example; my alters and I obviously do share a body, and of course a human body has a brain, so it stands to reason we share a brain. However, it's not just... me trying to convince myself that I suddenly have changed genders, ages and ways of speaking or something. It's rather that I, Felicia (because I am a singular person after all, which is to say, my alters aren't me), am literally not (at least fully) present near the front when someone else starts interacting with the world outside my system, controlling my body. Most if not possibly all of my alters already feel, perhaps to varying degrees, like they may as well not speak up to people for help or express their own feelings at all because they might not be seen as individuals worthy of the time of day, since what if it's all just perceived as "Felicia's being delusional again" or something. As someone who's not an alter, I'll never know what that feels like, and honestly the whole thing is heartbreaking. No one should have to go through that. [Continued in replies]

[@feliciaroseantonia]

As a mental health professional and someone with such a large public platform, you have immense capability to guide people into the right direction with understanding others with empathy. And, I want to make it clear, it does seem to me you are genuinely intending to do so, which despite my wordiness, I do appreciate. I've seen tons of your content before, mainly on Cinema Therapy, and I feel it's all helped my system & I tremendously. So I don't mean to do that thing where a person's many achievements are ignored and then the once in a blue moon they mess up they're dogpiled on. However... D.I.D. is such a complicated subject because of how it involves trauma, namely from childhood, and also just because of how the general public doesn't have very much knowledge about alters in the first place. That is... except for some media, such as again... movies such as Me Myself & Irene, or of course the even more infamous film, Split (as well as Split's sequel Glass). Those two movies make me extremely uncomfortable, though I have mixed feelings on them (such as honestly having somewhat crushes on Jim Carrey & James McAvoy, hence also understanding they were essentially just playing characters so I don't really feel like they were the ones glorifying violence or perpetuating stigma or anything, rather I feel the script writers & marketing teams behind said movies are responsible for such given how the movies were written & edited with what kind of messages it ends up portraying). Though to explain why those movies make me so uncomfortable -(& to make this as quick as possible because it's so emotionally draining for me honestly):- There's a scene in Me Myself & Irene where Irene, a girl who befriends & travels with Charlie and his outwardly antagonistic alter Hank (which is in & of itself a problematic portrayal, though that's hardly the main issue here), wakes up in bed with Hank, after having had sex with Charlie the night before. Once Irene realizes Hank has woken up next to her, she panics and covers herself, but instead of it being some sort of "Oh no my friend just saw me naked lol oops!" sort of moment, some dialogue happens (which I don't honestly remember much of I will admit), to which, well... Irene is now under the impression that it was actually Hank she was interacting with the night before, in which he was lying to her saying he was Charlie... which is rape by deception. I don't remember much about how Hank responded to this, but he wasn't sympathetic or concerned at all, to say the least. I was sent into a panic attack after seeing this and I beat myself up over it for days because I had the internal thought process of things such as "How could I be so weak?" and "It's just a movie. I must be acting dramatic.". It wasn't until my therapist pointed out how justifiably real my trauma response was that I understood yeah, it's because of my own trauma, but also in that particular instance it was because sometimes movies for example are just... very insensitive to say the least. Hollywood has a huge dark side. Which of course brings me to why Split is also quite an ableist movie. I... don't even think I need to explain much about this one. There are countless videos of people, some even by people with D.I.D. or who are even alters themselves, explaining this in depth. Basically, the premise that any system is bound to have one alter that is some sort of predator is just... wildly inaccurate, and incredibly damaging to real life systems, because it furthers the belief that we're "crazy" or "dangerous". I myself experienced discrimination and hate crimes much more so after that movie came out, and there are other systems who have come forward with similar experiences. I get that the writers & such behind that movie probably didn't intend for it to be like that, but similar to the increased suicide rate in teens following 13 Reasons Why (another series which makes me uncomfortable for how close to home it hits for me as well)... These sorts of things still actually deeply negatively effect peoples' lives, sometimes even lethally. I just don't understand how many more people need to die in order for people to understand how this sort of language can have a domino effect that leads to this sort of thing happening more. I'm not saying you're responsible for what others go out & do, but... well, I don't know how else to explain it, honestly. Hopefully what I've said makes sense. Of course, I am just one person and different people are bound to perceive things differently, but I want you to take these things into consideration. It's easy to not understand how deep our impact on others can be when we're not the ones experiencing the nature of said impact. I'm not perfect myself and I also want to make it clear that something isn't somehow inherently wrong just because I say so or because it's critiqued by anyone. I essentially just mean for this to be food for thought. Nonetheless, I do want to still thank you for what seems to be your intent here, being that of spreading helpful information about D.I.D. to many. Just like in all your other videos I've seen, your tone in this video doesn't come across as judgmental or manipulative whatsoever, and is actually quite the opposite. Especially as someone who has spent years being a therapist (which I imagine is really not an easy career whatsoever), I feel like that deserves quite some acknowledgement & praise. I also look forward to your video about treatments for D.I.D., as that is just as important of a subject to talk about, and thus I'm quite glad you've brought it up. An issue I've seen with "system communities" so to speak on social media is that often times they tend to have many stereotypes perpetuated in them, as well as have a very sort of anti-recovery propaganda present. This is why I stopped interacting with those spaces years ago once I got out of high school, and I honestly wouldn't wish that sort of setting on anyone. It can get culty (& I say that as an actual survivor of such) & well... It's a nightmare to say the least. Though I will say, integration isn't the only way of recovering for D.I.D. & is actually just straight up not an option or helpful whatsoever for some systems (such as again my own), that's not a critique on you because you've not said that at all. I just want to touch on it in general because I've not seen very many people talk about it, and I think it's a necessary discussion to be had with this subject. I want to also make it clear, I wouldn't comment this at all if I thought you wouldn't be open to being helpful and compassionate about these things, so I want to make it clear I appreciate that as well & hope you take care.

[@mojojojo3411]

@@feliciaroseantonia I see that Mr. Decker (or anyone at Mended Light) has yet to reply to your very thoughtful comment and I doubt he ever will. I have commented on his other DID videos as well as this one, and so have other folks with DID and their friends to tell him about how some of this material is fucked up, and Mended Light has responded to none of them. I take this personally because I am also a part of a system and we are very close friends with another system whom we see regularly. So Mr. Deckers videos have got quite a bit of us upset and, consequentially, switchy. Mr. Decker seems to be under the impression that because he had one patient with DID that he is suddenly qualified to talk to his platform of thousands about DID. But I am here to say that not just Mr. Decker, but also the vast majority of Health Professionals, including specialist, are not qualified to speak on DID because they just don't know what the fuck is happening, at the end of the day. The only people who truly have a chance at knowing and understand what is happening inside the bodies of those who are multiples are the multiples, themselves. And remember, Psychology, and moreso Psychiatry, are brand fucking new sciences, relatively. A whole lot of it is guess work, educated guesses, trial and error. Compare that to the classical practices of medicine, which have been around for centuries. Psychology is a little baby science and is always getting things wrong and having to correct itself. For example, the addition of C-PTSD, the elimination of Asperger's Syndrome in recognition of Autism as a spectrum (and there is still a great deal of discourse on the general subject, mostly between Autistic folks and "NT" folks), and the list goes on. And amongst ALL of these complications and intricacies is Mr. Decker, who is persuing views and monetary gain. Fren, I also love seeing him in Cinema Therapy, but please do not be afraid to call a spade a spade.

[@jessicahawks3223]

I keep getting told by every person I know that I have multiple personalities and I know I do..but I fear telling my therapist honestly..I don't have alternative personality but I for sure can change in certain situations or triggers .sometimes it can randomly happen

[@suzysurgent62]

That's actually a gift and really cool. Why would u be afraid to tell a Professional I'm so confused. I have it I love therapy

[@xinyi0z]

This incident happened at work a few days ago where the Operation Executive told me that a doctor complained that I "hooked his arm and asked him how much is his salary". This is something very out of character because I don't usually touch anyone of the opposite gender and don't like to be touched. I apologized to the doctor which I thought he was the one I hooked his arm on but he told me that it wasn't him and I couldn't remember which doctor I hooked his arm on. I also suffer from some memory loss problems at work and was unable to get along with everyone because I'm always forgetting things and learn things slower than normal.

[@梨-i5l]

I feel like other than alters/amnesia I tick all the boxes. I feel constantly dissociated and detached. I struggle to be present. Sometimes when I'm triggered my voice goes childish and it's embarrassing but I can't change it. I think it's just cPTSD but even just having to live/work whilst dissociated is so difficult.

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

That sounds like DPDRD or OSDD2

[@sillypantses]

As someone who apparently has it, I don’t experience confusion around my gender or orientation. I’m mostly certain. But we are each certain individually and we aren’t all the same. We also each have a strong sense of self. But our selves aren’t the same. So the confusion lies mostly in the observer who sees us one way, sees us another way, and decides we aren’t certain or that we don’t have a strong sense of self. It can look like we don’t know ourselves but the thing I didn’t know about myself was that I was plural. Each individual alter is fairly confident in who we each are.

[@andfoundout]

I started this video at 3:05 and now I'm even more intrigued

[@nv3363]

I’m having a hard time figuring out if I do or not. Mainly cause I can’t remember a lot. I can relate to a lot of what your saying but I think I have amnesia it’s hard to remember a lot of things. If I do have any alters I think I would have three of them, they get triggered by different things. I always had full conversations in my head and different thoughts that I didn’t think were me. And sometimes I wake up and will act completely different and don’t even notice it happening. I have bad ptsd from my childhood and was emotionally neglected. I am also autistic and I have adhd. Sometimes I feel like a little girl and will think childish things, and won’t know what to do, and will show all my emotions. I will get extremely shy but very caring for others. I walk with my head down and can’t make eye contact with anyone. I think it gets triggered whenever I feel like I am unable to do things other adults can, and whenever I feel like I’m being outcasted for being disabled. I have a hard time talking clearly and will slur all of my words and nobody can ever hardly understand me. I usually feel dissociation more and feel less connected to reality and lose track of time very very easily. Then there’s another part of me that is confident, always knows what to do, and will speak to anyone. I feel like I can do anything and even when it comes to talking I talk much more clearly. I walk with my head held up and make lots of eye contact. Usually I am able to concentrate much better and dissociate less. I stand up straight and feel fearless. This is usually triggered whenever I feel proud, usually because I did something that was considered smarter than the average adult. Like whenever I do something to help someone else and it was super helpful and smart. Then there’s another part of me that I don’t think I like so much. I tend to stop caring completely for others, I get selfish and lie. I shut off my emotions and dissociate and lose time. I talk clearly and sometimes aggressively. Sometimes going out of my way to start arguments with people just for the fun of it. I purposely mess with people because I think it’s funny. I go out of my way to be toxic just because I can. Sometimes I will even agree with someone and then start an argument to make them angry because I find it funny. I will go against my morals but not to the extreme. I will say anythjng with no filter completely disregarding for the other persons feelings because I won’t care. I will have a hard time understanding other people and feeling sympathy for them. I will be sarcastic and rude. This side of me I don’t see often and I try to stop myself from feeling it. I don’t really know what triggers it other than feeling so stressed out and angry from bottling up my emotions. As well as annoyance. It very rarely happens though, this alter goes against what I stand for morally. I always try to do the right thing and always be kind to other people. Usually when I’m having that bad switch I’m able to switch back by someone being kind to me. Then usually I’m thinking “did I really just say those awful things? Why would I say that? Why did I not care?” I noticed most of the time when I’m thinking it’s like multiple people giving their inputs all at once so I’m constantly having racing thoughts. I always thought it was weird how whenever I referred to myself I always said “we” instead of “I”. Like someone laughed at me once because I said we instead of I lmao. I only use I because I know that if I said we more often then people would get confused. Some days I feel like different people and it confuses me. I never really put much thought into it specially since I’m dissociating all the time and losing track of time. I feel like “host” or whatever would be the confident adult that has lots of compassion for other people. I’m always having childish thoughts and mean thoughts along with my compassionate ones. And sometimes I find myself thinking “what? No that’s not what we are about to do.. “ then having an argument inside my head on what to do.. usually it’s me trying to do the right then getting annoyed and having really dark thoughts that go against what I try to stand for. So like I’ll try to do what’s right then the selfish side will try to get me to do the wrong thing then I will think of something nieve and childish. Idk, I don’t know if what I’m describing is actually DID or if I’m just overthinking..

[@C0PRSE]

It's really sad because I experience the symptoms this and I am very desperate for help. I always see myself that I was crazy and when i tell this to family members or friends, they wouldn't get ir so it makes me more paranoid and its really just a wreck. CPS spoke to me and it was surprising that she understood about it and it felt relief. Its not fun at all with the troubling crap like 24/7 ( Like right now, I feel ehhhh )

[@Cielskyo.0]

After repeated and extended trauma, i experience dissociation, depersonalization, derealization and amnesia. I'm gratefull i don't have DID. It seams like a very difficult condition to live with.

[@ely9240]

Very interesting video! Make me consider a few things because I did not thought about the possibility of have a Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I pretty much recognize each characteristic in myself. I would need to inform myself more about this! Talking about memory loss, maybe a good video can be about "when memory loss is a sign of something", because I find a lot of contradictory info about it around, and some even mention that had "naturally bad memory" can be normal and just the way some of us are made. Where is the line between "normal" and "pathologic"? When is fine to forget useless info? A warm hug from Patagonia.

[@LeafyWhisperer]

I see your perspective, but I'd like to clarify a few points. Alters are not extensions of "you"; each alter is a distinct individual, with their own identity. Describing a switch as someone reverting to their child personality oversimplifies the complexity of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Based on my experience with someone who has DID, it's not accurately portrayed that way

[@ModestNeko]

Thank you for saying "may" have amnesia. I had gotten a 6 month period of amnesia where i was apparently on auto pilot i thought but other than that, not really amnesia between parts. More like driver's seat and back seat. So i thought it had to be OSSD. But i was recently diagnosed with DID. Some people even say OSDD is just DID.

[@Keenan686]

Very informative. Thanks for making this video

[@fizzdrop9740]

I’m still trying to determine if I do or not, tryna ask a doctor

[@KouMinato]

I have severe anxiety, and ive had people tell me i never seem like myself, or they ask me what i remember of the past, and so much is missing. I had to find out from my parents, because i dont remember it. I also had trauma to my head, abused as a child in all forms, even abandoned. I dont much remember the past, and i feel like there are voices when no one is around, as if these voices know me. Ive had experiences of derealization and feeling like my body isnt mine. Ive been to therapy, yet no therapist would diagnose me. I really want to know if im dissociative. i dont know who i am or what im doing some days. Ive questioned this for so long, and i really need clarity!

[@Screeno1993]

That's obvious, you need to find a therapist who is savvy with dissociation a lot of them actually aren't. You've got all of the markers there.

[@Slavva99]

I have all of these symptoms and ive had them for a while, im 20, my parents have pretty much disowned me because of the “phases” i go through, they told me today, they don’t want to love the angry me, or the russian me, or the immature emotional wreck me, they want to love the me they raised they want me to stop pretending to be other people, i want to tell them i dont know how to stop, tell them i dont do this on my own and that if i could take a kitchen knife and carve those other parts out of my self i would, tell them i cant convince Jannik he’s not a 45 year old ex con, or Lavrentiy he’s not a Russian university student, and i cant tell my parents this because they would think im lying to get out of trouble, so i have to lie and tell them yes mom, i like to play pretend at age 20, and i like to pretend to be people who ruin my entire life and carve my flesh to shreds and get into fights and take drugs, because she wouldnt beleive otherwise, i cant even tell her about my CSA truama which i have been treating in therapy in secret for months, i cant tell her about my visions or the seizures(dissociative episodes) or that my last psychiatrist diagnosed me with this disorder, because of the kids online, i have to keep my mouth shut and watch my relationships crumble.

[@violetbilodeau9179]

I would like to know more about about dissociation that only lasts for a few seconds and is triggered by extreme emotions. I know its not DID but other than DID I have not seen much information about dissociation anywhere.

[@xlGhostylx]

That's usually seen in Anxiety, or Bipolar Disorder during severe mood shifts. These types of dssociative states only last a few minutes to seconds.

[@xlGhostylx]

Also seen in Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD

[@pattyburda5237]

Can alters not know they are alters? But instead believe they are all the host“bob” but this one is happy “bob” and this is tomboy“bob”, girly “bob”, adult bob, bobs innerchild and so on and so forth? Im curious

[@jamestownyouth3632]

I had experienced all these symptoms but not memory loss. Most the time I feel like I'm in control but like there's somebody talking over my shoulder like. "Come on let's wear this" and then a whole conversation with multiple but are all me starts happening. This is a simplified version of what happens but sometimes I feel as if my words aren't mine and somebody else is moving and I'm just watching. Would this be signs of did or something else? It would be cool if someone knew and could tell me

[@teafisher]

I'm incredibly interested too

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

That sounds like depersonalization or OSDD1

[@GracieDontPlayDat]

Could be demons and witches. The Christian Holy Spirit thing isn’t a second party feeling like that. It is the gut feeling you are having that there is a second party talking to you. When your spirit is protected after you accept Christ, there is a knowing inside of you.

[@GracieDontPlayDat]

The Gospel to be saved is surprising simple when offering plates and game-playing are not involved. Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

[@ThemMythicalMavens]

For us, we all have very different triggers. Different alters get triggered out due to different things. For example, most of the time when showering, Linh fronts because that’s in a way ‘her trigger’ if you can call it that. She’s the one who can cope with it more than I (host) can.

[@marthaarmstrong3768]

Diagnosed w/DID @25. SA by sadistic father from 4-24. I’m an LCSW now (43). I appreciate the way you discuss DID with such compassion, dignity, and clinical accuracy. Thank you!

[@axxsteria]

Ty for this. I jus got told a lil while ago (this was by my mum, assuming I was the host) that none of our system is real n that we’re all jus voices in the host’s head. I know for a fact that I exist cause I’m literally alive rn and typing this shit. Ig it jus really hurt me

[@lillithundertaker6877]

Hello it would be nice to hear more from an "extremer" version of DiD. Because most of the time people speak just from 2 alters. And how you cope with that. But I myself have did and I have more then 10 alters and I don't even know how many there are exactly and it also doesn't matter that much. But I know that this makes it even harder for me. Most of the time I don't know who I am. I don't know what my name is I just know that the one people call me with is not mine. I have a lot of amnesia. I can count the moments where I felt like me and like I am really existing right now on one hand. I don't know how to find a therapist because I am afraid that I am to difficult. And I am afraid that I come to a bad therapist because I know that a person can mess up a lot I they are not careful enough. I'm tired and my existence feels like a constant burnout. The only reason while I am still trying is because I have so many alters protecting me. Maybe this text is a little confused. I don't even know what I wrote. Have a good time, I hope for an awnser.

[@lillithundertaker6877]

Additional: I am tired of being my own therapist.

[@beastephenson7970]

I can relate to the outer body experience part, as in it feels like my body is talking and doing it’s own thing. It’s not like I “see” my body as such, but I do feel disassociated with it. And I have thought patterns that have nothing to do with what is actually happening, usually along the lines of “what am I doing with my life?”. And then I literally SNAP aback to normality, but I freak out because I’m thinking “what the HELL was that!” The whole experience lasts a few seconds. It’s very rare, but it seems to happen when I’m feeling, I guess lost with my life? I’m 29, still living with my parents, dead end job and failing business and no life partner….so yeah I’m drifting a bit through life atm 😅

[@GreyWolfASMR]

Okay so I have this thing that happens after a PTSD episode or a trigger. Life gets really foggy its hard to understand what is going on around me and sometimes i feel like im just watching what is going on like a dream. Sometimes its hard to tell dream from reality. The more i have worked on my traumas the more I am aware of how i feel. At this point I dont know how to recover or avoid this. I am still able to work but it makes my brain all wonky.

[@Elya08]

Look up dissociation, and also derealization (reality/surrounding feel unreal or dreamlike) and depersonalization (you/your body feels unreal or dreamlike). The combo of derealization and depersonalization can feel a lot like dissociation, but if you have all three like I do, it’s hell to unravel some days. Looking into if I might have DID or OSDD (Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder). I at least have CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Either way, this crap sucks. Good luck on your healing journey. :)

[@johnbillings5260]

Can someone that has this tell me how does it feel to transition? I didn't even know I was dissociating for years and then during the pandemic I started having a lot of foggy periods. Then one day I had an extremely stressful incident and it felt like I was almost being physically pushed and like my energy was draining. I'm not sure if it was just a type of anxiety attack that I had never had before or something else.

[@kamyu-5077]

I figured the symptoms you mentioned apart from the multiple personality dissociations were just regular ptsd / depression things In general, I guess it's hard to know where the lines between different diagnosis are drawn And to know when to alert your psychologist to certain symptoms getting more frequent

[@Ibeturhot42069]

I have this. I was today years old when I figured it out. I need therapy.

[@fightswithspirits915]

Versions! I’m trying to break up with someone like that. Each time she visits her eyes reveal a different version of herself, “the love for me she can’t understand” is always there. She has created different worlds for each person she knows. Looks like she mirrors people but my impression is she shifts her weaknesses to them while taking their strengths. It feels like I have BPD when she leaves my place and ignores me until she’s ready for affection. For others, it’s promiscuity for her selfish needs. Well, she pure selfishness. A complex and curious creature. Her eyes glow with a depth of love unmatched in 10 universes. Incredible.

[@RelaxingVibesSound]

I have 3 personalities child characted maturr and immature and its sad.. im not happy with it..

[@Endless-Masquerade]

I’m not entirely certain but the only thing that wasn’t that common was amnesia but recently I’ve had blackouts where my parents said I was having a entire conversation but I remember going to sleep that same day

[@destinycoffey3087]

I have two that I know of. I have a three year old named tinny. She talks young, acts young and loves kid shows. She has a favorite stuff animal, color and clothes. I also have a they/them named rain. Dresses in baggy clothes, quiet and shy personality. This is what my partner has been telling me. He has also recorded tinny because she gave the ok. I can’t even explain the feeling that happens before I switch but I takes like a minute or two I believe. It’s so uncomfortable.

[@elliotreign1641]

I’m just worried Because I’m told you’ll never remember if you switch. I can’t tell if there are people in my head but sometimes I hear people yelling at each other in there so fast I can’t understand them but that’s about all I know. I identify with every other symptom but I feel like I need to figure out if they’re in there or not cause it’s bugging me so much not knowing. Idk what’s wrong with me but there’s something lol

[@zqninja3334]

I have a questionable story: One time at 9-10yrs old, I left my cup of ice cream in my room, and went to take a shower. When I came back, the ice cream cup was GONE! I know 100% it was gone because I literally stared, and glanced around the entire table for a minute before going on a treasure hunt, and then after searching literally the entire house, and asking my mom and Grandmom if she took it, I came back to my room… IT WAS BACK! @_@ confuses me to this day.

[@Random-bk6pr]

I'm almost certain I have did it caused such barriers to accessing health care as the one at the front is super assertive hides what's really going on, so far I've noticed 6

[@notablightmain6177]

I was diagnosed with DID but my two personalities had same core elements (age, gender, sexuality, one common interest). I discovered that at 14 and now stuff happened and I am whole now, I think.

[@Stargazer771]

I think i have this. Im not sure. I have big gaps. I seem to short circuit when something bad happens like this involuntary rage comes over me and i lose control interally like of myself as a person.

[@jewel1953]

I am diagnosed with bipolar/ dissociative disorder and always tend to be a younger self. I am 69 and act like late 20s early 30s. I have to be careful but triggers come out of nowhere. I had long time sexual abuse by a sibling which my mom did nothing about and did know. People comment on my energy which is why I can act so young.

[@dwrinsimsek]

can someone help me? i think i have DID but im not sure and i dont wanna self diagnose. i feel like there are 3-4 people in me and they control my body sometimes. they have their own personalities and i cant control them. but the thing is when i feel like they control me i dont experience memory loss it’s like i can watch what their doing as a third person and after i feel like myself again i cam remember what they did. im so confused maybe it’s not DID maybe it’s something else or maybe im just overreacting idk but i feel so weird and i hate it can someone pls tell me what the heck is going on?

[@Shawn-my8pz]

I'm just so tired I just want to know what is happening to me. I'm so tired

[@johnpaulrimpos2555]

I have a question to you guys, there is one time that I shout a female teacher in a classroom with her students because she did not check that my answers are in the back of the paper. At first I asked the teacher why my grade in the exam is low then suddenly I panicked and I shouted at her. I banged her desk to demand an answer then I say bad words in Filipino as in harsh words, I spit at her. At that time her students scared to me because some them knew that I was a kind person. My classmate who was with me to ask the same scenario as I did rushed towards me and stop my potential assault to my teacher. At the outside of the classroom, he asked what I was doing. Then, I came back to my senses and I did not know why did I do that. i feel like someone possessed me or someone take over my body. Like a demon possessed me and suddenly vanished. Do you think that I have a DID or maybe just one of my emotions that suddenly pops out?

[@gireeshlal4450]

Some times i can feel two persons are arguing with each others from inside of my head 😂

[@keelycommando2192]

Hi, so we are an OSDD-1 system, which gets often overlooked. Can you please talk about that im a future video?

[@harmlesshorrors7229]

I think that I have DID but I'm not sure. When I'm irritated or have any form of being bothered out of nowhere, I instantly lose control of myself and see myself either violently attack others or say horrible things to others. I also have a tendency to growl like an actual demon when I'm irritated. The one thing that makes me question it is that for the most part, I remember everything. I feel like I'm out of body, but I remember everything. Is this DID or is it something else?

[@cyberluvzz]

It sounds like intermittent explosive disorder instead of DID to me but I'm not sure

[@clairewillow6475]

I put on a wig once and decided my name was Keira and let out a different side of myself. My friend got freaked out and said I had a split personality. I feel like it wasn’t though because it was a conscious decision to play a game so to speak, when I put the wig on.

[@missstrizz5252]

This guy is an actor!

[@leigholding1397]

What if you leave your body and feel you are watching someone else live . Then return back but you don't have a personal split?

[@jesseskellington9427]

4:31 Triggers happen in 1,000 of a second according to one study. I hope this info helps 😊

[@samarasbubble]

It doesn't feel respectful to still be referring to someone with DID's alters as "personalities", because research has now shown that the name of the disorder changed due to the fact that DID deals with varying identities, not personalities. The term, alters, seems more respectful because it refers to alternate forms of consciousness.

[@coolpal2026]

exactly, it's not just personality that's altered, but perception, memory, motor fonctions, overall consciousness!

[@thatgrlkiy]

When your alters take over, do you see them in the mirror? If I have a child alter will I physically feel small like a child? How long can an alter last?

[@silverkiss37]

I've had dissociation off and on since a real small child but for the last two years I've had it solid without a break. Maybe longer. My counselor thinks I have DID but says she's not qualified to give me a definitive diagnosis. My question is: Is it normal to have depersonalization/derealization for two years and counting? Thanks. I just cannot afford a licensed therapist and my quality of life is severely suffering because I'm not emotionally grounded to reality and the people around me. And also, why does it feel like these terrible headaches somehow relate?

[@Wolfy_king3]

Is there a way to remember things like how can I tell if I've switched personalitys

[@lolitab6442]

I was think i my have it but now i dont think so Thank you

[@roseglutennacht]

I have a lot of symptoms from this disorder and I want to talk to talk to my therapist about it but im scared of the confrontation, just like if my symptoms are all in my head or something. Or just being worried that my therapist won't get it or understand my symptoms.

[@simeondawkins6358]

thank u for explaning this very cleaerly

[@moss4brains]

I don’t want to self diagnose but holy shit I think I have this

[@Dalavine]

Ok. I have the check check check thing. I still don't understand the different names and character and stuff. Am I aware of that? When I speak differently without knowing why is that a different personality? I'm so confused. But at least now I'm pretty sure I have it? About an hour ago I was horrified because I saw a video about a person in a VR interview with it and I kept . . . check check check thing . . . Severe continuous trauma from age 4 onward. I get so confused about my age constantly. I like to joke that, "I was born 87 years ago. For 65 years I have ruled Tamriel..." yeah . . . Because I don't. My age doesn't make sense. At all. I always just say things like "when I was younger" "when I was a little kid" and stuff like that. I sometimes think I'm still a little kid and sometime I think I'm in my preteens to mid teens. I hate being me. I really do. Or should I say we hate being us? We don't though. At least one of us doesn't. I think it was me anyway but I was drunk and I made a video for myself and I told me not to hate myself and not to believe all the terrible things I was told about myself. I wasn't talking like me. And that me couldn't look at himself in the screen which means he was far more sensitive to that than I am? I still think it was me. But what if I'm me?

[@lilamysticwoods]

How are you supposed to interact with an alter who is an animal or a child? Are you hurting the person if you continue to act as if they are still the host personality?

[@mae_synodic]

it can be upsetting for other headmates if you just pretend they are not an entirely different person - aka if a little fronts do not treat them the same as you would the host because some topics may be inappropriate for them not only that but they are literally a child ssssso… that goes for other alters too don’t treat everyone as the same person, it’s really distressing if any of the alters for that person dont introduce themselves/the host isnt comfortable talking about whom is fronting then typically everyone will remain covert, so dont ask because it can be distressing but if they say it’s whoever fronting and you dont know them just treat them as you would any new person you meet say hey, introduce yourself, get to know them