How do you say no to someone in a group setting without hurting their feelings?!

[@Jenekks]

I like the response "let me check my calendar and Ill get back to you"

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

I agree, it’s a good idea to answer back with a friendly but firm “No” in FRONT of everybody. They’ll think twice before they do THAT again!

[@MsActor2009]

Can always say “let me get back to you on that one”, check your calendar, then say “no” in private, away from the group!

[@mariedubuque]

Yes, good idea!

[@MsActor2009]

I use that whenever someone puts me on the spot.

[@youtubealiasoriginal]

This is true, they sure know what they are doing!

[@saran3214]

I don't know enough people to be in a group setting so yall are ahead of me!

[@marylucey5983]

For me it depends on what their asking you for its ok to do something nice for a friend or help someone once and while if you have the means to, dont have other obligations and/or other commitments. But if they ask you all the time or if its not something that you are comfortable doing or have the means to do everytime they want something or maybe you just dont have the time because you have other priorities and if they cant accept that and be understanding about it then they arent someone you want to have anything to do with. I remember when I was a kid and my moms mom was still alive she'd basically want my parents to do anything she wanted or needed them to do for her but then when they needed something from her she would make up excuses on why she couldnt return the favor. It really pissed my mom off. Thats the other thing if someone constantly wants you to do something for them but then when you need or want something from them they just make excuses on why they cant return the favor, help you out, or do something nice for you thats a big red flag that they are users and fake people. So I would say for me it depends on how often they ask and it depends on if what their asking you to do is something that you are comfortable doing, have the financial means to do, and have the time to do. People who are genuine and mature understand boundaries and understand the point of trying not to take advantage. When you do something nice for someone its out of the goodness of your heart and because you genuinely wanted to but its still important to set firm boundaries surrounding how often and what you are and what you are not willing to do for someone. Anyone who gets mad at you or begins to be mean to you when you dont or cant do what they want is nothing but a user and is not someone who you want anything to do with you. Its hard because we typically want to be a yes person but in some situations and depending on who your interacting with it can backfire and cause more harm then good. You just have to set boundaries and the people who are your real friends will respect that.

[@stephaniemcguire]

Anybody that asks you to do something or commit to something in front of others is just plain rude, and you saying no is going to give someone else the courage to say no, too.

[@jjrrhh1983]

Good Monday afternoon Marie! Have a wonderful and safe great new week ahead, beautiful friend 😊☀😎🌹

[@jubileelennon]

Can you talk about being ignored in group texts? My friend only talks about herself and accomplishments but never acknowledges me or is short when I talk.

[@mariedubuque]

That is a good topic. I will do it in two weeks, thanks!

[@Prince_Yonte]

Hey I watch your videos alot and find them helpful. Could you do a video on how to talk or be around someone elses girlfriend without being too conscious of being over talkative or flirting? I also dont want to make it obvious that Im trying to ignore them. Should I just disregard of them completely? Idk. My aura is bright and I get put in this akward situation alot. Seeking advice

[@mariedubuque]

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about how you come across. I would treat their girlfriend as you would anyone else you have just met or another acquaintance. You can be friends with anyone you want to. And as long as you aren’t trying to steal her away, the problem is with your friend’s insecurity, not with you.

[@Prince_Yonte]

@@mariedubuque True. I still dont think I should be frequently 3rd, 5th or 7th wheeling. Ill pass.

[@Gurofluff]

Hey Marie. You have been my guide for nearly a decade and have answered me twice. I really need some help. I'm working a job that's so bad my colleague and I talk trash. I had a day off due to mental health, and she went into my parents work specifically to ask about me. (It's an extremely expensive alternative that people only shop at for convenience and we have both discussed that supermarket being insanely priced) This person has been the only one in my corner but intentionally went to my parents expensive corner store. I've even covered her on pretend sick days where I saw her in public. How do I keep the job even if I feel used or lied to? I intend to leave, but how do I remain civil?

[@mariedubuque]

That is hard. I would be polite and courteous, but not your usual warm friendly self. Limit conversation to work-related topics, and watch your back. Basically, always be in a hurry…be busy…”Love to talk but….” Remember, you always have a million things going on, because you do! Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t see her true colors. People take a while to reveal them, especially at work.

[@Jenekks]

Hi Marie I have a question I don't think you have answered before. I have 2 very close friends who dont know each other. They both mean the world to me. One friend is very extroverted and she has mentioned that she really wants to meet the other friend the next time she comes out to see me. She likes to get together with a lot of friends. The other friend is a very close friend that I grew up with and is more introverted like myself. I really don't want to bring them together. I have no interest in doing that. I did that kind of thing in high school and regret doing it. I am a mature woman now and would rather have different friends from different experiences and not mesh them together. It's simply my preference to enjoy my friendships independently one on one, at least who I meet from different life experiences. Do I just tell the extroverted friend that I dont want get them together, or should I not say anything and just make other plans when she comes out? I don't think she would press the issue, but she has mentioned a few times how much she really wants to meet the friend I grew up with. I regret even mentioning anything to her that I have, but it just naturally came up in conversation that I did something with my other friend who I grew up with.

[@mariedubuque]

You have absolutely no obligation to bring these two friends together. I would say to extroverted friend something like, “I prefer one-on-one time with each of my friends.” Or that particular friend…whatever you want to say. This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where they were trying to prevent their worlds from “colliding.” That is what might happen here! Plus, groups of three often don’t work out and someone ends up getting hurt. Also, I have to wonder why extroverted friend is so interested in meeting your childhood friend. Jealousy maybe? Just a thought.

[@Jenekks]

@mariedubuque thank you, I'll say that if it ever gets brought up again.

[@drabnerd]

Marie I reached out to an old friend who I hadn’t spoken to in years. Our friendship didn’t end acrimoniously, we just gradually stopped speaking. So I felt okay reaching out to him. We exchanged a few texts but eventually he stopped replying. It’s been four months now and I feel so embarrassed for reaching out to him in the first place and regret it. Can you please give me advice on how to move on from this? I feel very hurt and feel like I was rejected in a sense.

[@mariedubuque]

Don’t in any way feel bad about reaching out. You don’t know why he stopped responding. Could be a number of factors having nothing to do with you. Sometimes people only want to maintain friendships with those in their immediate social circle…someone who can help them in some way, or this person may only want to associate with people he comes in contact with ion a day-to-day basis. I know it sounds cliche, but don’t take this personally. And you never know, you could hear back from him down the road when situations change in his life.

[@drabnerd]

@@mariedubuque Thank you so much Marie!!! 🩷

[@mr.a2192]

Hi Marie I've a close friend who is a people pleaser and lately I'm beginning to think that maybe he don't really like me and that he's only doing stuff with me to keep me happy. I hate when it's my birthday or Christmas cause I feel like his gifts hold no value as I think they might be giving outta "been nice" and "what is expected" rather then out of an honest feel of friendship and respect. Last Christmas he got me tickets for a show that's happening end of next month. But I'm just feeling so confused I don't know if I really want to go with him. I feel a bit betrayed by him but I don't know if I really have a right too feel that way, since I don't know if he's been honest or not. I know his people pleasing stems from childhood trauma. So basically my question is how do I know if he really likes me or is just doing it to please me and if it is just people pleasing how/can I help him through it. Any advice you or your viewers can give will be much appreciated

[@mariedubuque]

If he didn’t want to go to the show with you, he wouldn’t have selected that particular gift. He would have chosen something else. I would go to the show and have fun.

[@mr.a2192]

@@mariedubuque thanks Marie, love your channel have a great day

[@budredhead00twitchy]

Marie, what’s the best way to react if a friend doesn’t invite you to their wedding?

[@mariedubuque]

I would let it go. Could be finances are a factor, and they couldn’t afford a large wedding…only included close family members. If this is really bothering you, you could wish him/her well right before the big event, or ask how wedding planning is going and wait for an answer. She will probably tell you how bad she feels for not including you on the guest list. But honestly, will that make you feel better? If this is a large wedding, and people from your same social circle were invited, consider putting the friendship on the back burner. Maybe this person isn’t as close a friend as you thought. And it could force you to expand your social circle and meet new people who share your same interests.

[@PCFLQTLF]

that is not something I can do right now... you are asking the wrong person... just not into it... THANKS THO!!

[@WaylonPayneFan]

A plain and simple : "I will think about it", is what I would say in most situations. If the person insist to have a more precise answer, one can always say: "Let's talk about that later."

[@seankelly1366]

I believe that it's an inappropriate time to speak about a subject that should be displayed in private without allowing anyone in your personal business.

[@allen0088]

Marry me