How Envy And Low Empathy Go Hand In Hand

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Dr. Les Carter

Dr. Les Carter

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 295
@Mehmet-rw9bu
@Mehmet-rw9bu 3 жыл бұрын
Openly envious people always act as if you stole something from them 😅
@foxiefair123
@foxiefair123 2 жыл бұрын
Yep.
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
I never thought of that, but it’s true.
@donnapierangeli6216
@donnapierangeli6216 4 ай бұрын
How do you know?​@@foxiefair123
@hopeinhumanity.
@hopeinhumanity. 3 жыл бұрын
When you are around envious individuals they will ultimately take away from your life. Healthy people will add to your life and to the world.
@realhealing7802
@realhealing7802 3 жыл бұрын
Amen to that!!!
@georgias9211
@georgias9211 3 жыл бұрын
That's true👍🙋‍♀️🐨
@rarecockneyguvnor4945
@rarecockneyguvnor4945 3 жыл бұрын
I agree .
@christar9527
@christar9527 3 жыл бұрын
So true. My envious sister gave me money occasionally but she took so much from me mentally and emotionally that I ended up with less. She, like the rest of the family, fully dehumanized me....at least for awhile. No contact now and feeling human again.
@Rubbaduckie1975
@Rubbaduckie1975 2 жыл бұрын
Yesssss! I hear that! (And 100% agree with it too!) 😃🙏
@aaronfischer9885
@aaronfischer9885 3 жыл бұрын
"Comparison is the death of joy." ~ Mark Twain
@joseenoel8093
@joseenoel8093 3 жыл бұрын
Awesome... It might be ok for them, may or not be ok for us, who knows, better not to go there and only adds to our understanding of something!
@Mehmet-rw9bu
@Mehmet-rw9bu 3 жыл бұрын
Their joy cannot die, because they are not able to rejoice over anything. And they are envious that you can. The only abnormal kind of "joy" they ever feel is when someone they envy suffers or fails in life a.k.a Schadenfreude.
@Robidu1973
@Robidu1973 3 жыл бұрын
It depends. If it's an objective comparison, it can be a viable tool. However, if it's used to feed one's ego, it becomes very unhealthy.
@MissArtsyDeee
@MissArtsyDeee 3 жыл бұрын
In the simplest terms "Your joy is their misery & your misery is their joy." They will kick you while you're down and shit all over your accomplishments/worth. I've met a few people that have the instant reaction to laugh at someone struggling. And if someone is joyful and laughing, they will make a dig or simply look annoyed or bothered. 🚩🚩🚩 Staying far away from those people improved my mental health and happiness 💯 percent.
@juliesandler4794
@juliesandler4794 3 жыл бұрын
Very true, the quicker that's understood the easier it becomes. The more we squirm the better they like it, sick people
@christar9527
@christar9527 3 жыл бұрын
You summed them up very well. How awful to live that way.
@shewins3775
@shewins3775 3 жыл бұрын
Anyone in your life Dr. Carter, is SO BLESSED to have you- including us. Your videos are comforting, full of wisdom, and a calmness that this world needs. I appreciate you! By the way, GREEN looks splendid on you. 💚
@moniquejackson7741
@moniquejackson7741 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. "Not all personalities deserve your empathy." This is a critical 180 that all survivors have to make to heal. Powerful and insightful. Thank you.
@bertzerker747
@bertzerker747 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, we deserve to maintain our viability as individuals. Empathy generally in all situations is constrained as it might be on a budget. It helps us to generate or moderate it on an even flow that's healthy for us, a condition of maintaining adequate portions of esteem.
@naturefleur2062
@naturefleur2062 2 жыл бұрын
Especially when their pathology is a CHOICE to maintain and hold onto like the narcissist does.
@olivermahon9509
@olivermahon9509 2 жыл бұрын
You can actually see the envy/resentment as they (narcissists) clench their jaws in response to any success/possessions that upset their fragile self esteem. Usually accompanied by cold, joyless eyes.
@ashl8804
@ashl8804 3 ай бұрын
So true
@aaronfischer9885
@aaronfischer9885 3 жыл бұрын
"He is rich who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature." ~ Socrates
@joseenoel8093
@joseenoel8093 3 жыл бұрын
Less is more!
@lovesings2us
@lovesings2us 3 жыл бұрын
I love this saying by Socrates! Thank you so much for posting it.
@venusrising6554
@venusrising6554 3 жыл бұрын
Envy can be dangerous. When severe it becomes all consuming & inconsolable. To stop their intolerable pain, they will destroy everything & everyone driving their envy. ie. "If I can't have it, no one can."
@cynthiamiller1983
@cynthiamiller1983 3 жыл бұрын
That is exactly what the dark demon told us from childhood into adulthood to this day if I can't have it nobody's going to have it that just makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. And the narcissist are so full of these great little sayings that just make you want to vomit.
@cynthiamiller1983
@cynthiamiller1983 3 жыл бұрын
VR .....OMG! That was a big trigger point for me when I read that O'Vay!!!!
@venusrising6554
@venusrising6554 3 жыл бұрын
@cynthia-I'm so sorry that hurt you....I know from experience that triggers can be a terrible thing....And the envious can be an awful thing to behold. Wishing you bright blessings & peace.
@cynthiamiller1983
@cynthiamiller1983 3 жыл бұрын
@@venusrising6554 it's like amnesia, then you get a realization moment, and it's a triggering from repressed memory. Bless you for the kindness of regards to my feelings on the topic.
@bradswanson7919
@bradswanson7919 3 жыл бұрын
Schadenfreude... we don't have this word in the English language but it means taking delight in another's misfortune.
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
I'm familiar with the word, and yes, it describes this person! Dr. C
@Donita1213
@Donita1213 3 жыл бұрын
WOW!
@craigbabin7940
@craigbabin7940 3 жыл бұрын
we do have it in english, it's 'Schadenfreude', english just takes what it wants and leaves the rest
@Mehmet-rw9bu
@Mehmet-rw9bu 3 жыл бұрын
It's German and it perfectly describes the ultimative goal of an envious person. They celebrate when you fail. And when you really suffer, it's like all their dreams come true.
@steviecrow914
@steviecrow914 3 жыл бұрын
This is core to sadism. When other people’s pain gives you pleasure.
@Robidu1973
@Robidu1973 3 жыл бұрын
I'd sum it up as people who are just empty shells without a spark of life within. Amassing material possessions is their way of feeling alive, alas, it's fleeting at best, and once they have what they have been craving, it immediately becomes uninteresting. Enter a vicious cycle.
@Ella-tg7iq
@Ella-tg7iq 3 жыл бұрын
My neighbors are envious people with zero empathy, they actually scare me.
@marmaladesunrise
@marmaladesunrise 3 жыл бұрын
Listen to your intuition!!! I have a neighbor that has stolen thousands from my house. They can be VERY STEALTH!!! Too long a story to go into. Just know their wheels are turning, it may be a matter of time before they strike and they will cover their tracks. Mine has been and continus to study me and my movements to a CHILLING degree. There are plenty of VERY BAD people in this society. Sorry you have one like me. Just trust in what you are feeling. It isn't a fluke. Stay safe and ALERT.
@carolhampshire7820
@carolhampshire7820 3 жыл бұрын
Please don't let tham.
@Ella-tg7iq
@Ella-tg7iq 3 жыл бұрын
@@carolhampshire7820 thank you so much, I try to ignore them as much as possible.
@carolhampshire7820
@carolhampshire7820 3 жыл бұрын
Your very welcome Ella take care.
@jodahlbeck683
@jodahlbeck683 3 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@LyndieLouWho
@LyndieLouWho 3 жыл бұрын
Narcissists are egomaniacs consumed by envy and Jealousy. They haaaaate it when someone compliments you in their presence. Hell, they even get upset if someone speaks well of your dog!!
@quantumfineartsandfossils2152
@quantumfineartsandfossils2152 13 күн бұрын
This happened to me the other day while also neutralizing the threat of one mentally ill narc I encounter at a store, someone ahead of me in line was extremely polite to me & conversational & they had a physical fit that this man was so nice & wanted my approval but had to force themselves to calm down, their next method was going outside & chain smoking to calm themselves down (& hoping I inhale it when I get outside) . I can finally go back to this store & they have great surveillance there but this person wants to physically harm me & I think it is possible they mutilate my property sometimes They almost killed me in their car when I had no idea how drunk they were I walked home They spread lies & rumors about me but they might stop this as well I never realized they were battling mental illness & when I first got to know them they acted like the nicest person & friend But they dont care about anyone they cant
@bobtaylor170
@bobtaylor170 3 жыл бұрын
The great trauma counselor, Diane Langberg, says that while we're all sinners, we don't all build Auschwitzes. That is such an insightful way to put it.
@juliesandler4794
@juliesandler4794 3 жыл бұрын
Yes and the narcissist will try and put their Auschwitz on the same level as my sandcastle!
@foxiefair123
@foxiefair123 2 жыл бұрын
That’s a really good way of putting things.
@danchandler7112
@danchandler7112 3 жыл бұрын
Great topic. The word MORE stands out for me. They always want more. More power more control more of your soul. They hate when you don't fall for their tricks anymore.
@skinnybear5743
@skinnybear5743 3 жыл бұрын
Covetnous. "Thou shall not covet." God.
@sampsonlittle7368
@sampsonlittle7368 3 жыл бұрын
Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy? Proverbs 27:4
@thinktwice8860
@thinktwice8860 3 жыл бұрын
The green shirt is spot on, given the subject matter! 😂
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
I was wondering if anyone would notice. Also on my other channel I did a video on the gray rock method and wore a gray shirt. Trying to stay on point with the message! Dr. C
@thinktwice8860
@thinktwice8860 3 жыл бұрын
@@DrLesCarter Thanks for all you do, Dr C! I had problems with being envious as a child, but was lucky to grow out of it. My mom helped a lot with it. My dad was green. Lol!
@marieldavison5121
@marieldavison5121 Жыл бұрын
Pea Green with Envy" Gone with the Wind quote.
@conniegalanopoulos4911
@conniegalanopoulos4911 3 жыл бұрын
You got them nailed. I have many times thought I was crazy. Hell is too good for these people.
@christar9527
@christar9527 3 жыл бұрын
Me too. Now I know it was them. Hell is too good for them.😂
@patriciagarcia5301
@patriciagarcia5301 3 жыл бұрын
I know a few people with envy and jealousy. They become small and irrelevant. I try my best to not be envious.
@jasonsneeden5934
@jasonsneeden5934 3 жыл бұрын
What's to be envious of? What if, to have what they have came with some unknown and undesirable consequence?
@sage9836
@sage9836 3 жыл бұрын
When people I know have successes I want, I get mad at myself. Thats not good, but at least I wouldnt be angry about someones accomplishments. I also pay the admired person a complement and ask advice. Its a rewarding exchange!
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
The only people I envy are tall women, and anyone who can play a musical instrument really well. I try to keep my envy within reasonable bounds, though. I feel sorry for people who are consumed with envy. Like Salieri in the movie „Amadeus.“ He was so envious of Mozart‘s genius, that he brought about his death, but ultimately ended up destroying himself, as well. ( In reality, Salieri didn’t actually kill Mozart. He ( Salieri) died in an insane asylum, suffering from the delusion that he did murder Mozart. That movie was fictionalized, but very well done. I would recommend it to anyone.) 🎼
@hissyfitz7890
@hissyfitz7890 3 жыл бұрын
When a poverty of spirit exists envy will rear its ugly head.
@aaronfischer9885
@aaronfischer9885 3 жыл бұрын
Just because someone has more, doesn't mean they are more.
@christinalw19
@christinalw19 3 жыл бұрын
I have had much and I have had little. I was always more creatively efficient with less, but able to give financially, also, with more. Humans are adaptable. But it’s rare that a taker becomes a giver. Lol
@aaronfischer9885
@aaronfischer9885 3 жыл бұрын
@@christinalw19 well said!
@gigi9301
@gigi9301 3 жыл бұрын
You believe they have more; therefore, you are already placing yourself at a disadvantage.
@bradswanson7919
@bradswanson7919 3 жыл бұрын
This is a weird reaction to a video about envy.
@bradswanson7919
@bradswanson7919 3 жыл бұрын
Only an envious person would need to think like this.
@jjwashere-qo7ow
@jjwashere-qo7ow 11 ай бұрын
Envy and jealousy work together and are mean spirits; walk away because you can't change the minds of those who inhabit these traits no matter how kind you are; I've learned this absolute truth during 70+ years of living
@randy_cbc8811
@randy_cbc8811 2 ай бұрын
"Envy is rottenness to the bones" - Proverbs 14:30
@rollzolo
@rollzolo Ай бұрын
They hating on me bc a young successful beautiful woman loves me, they think she is promiscuous.
@t200b-i7k
@t200b-i7k 3 жыл бұрын
I graduated college with honors, at age 58! On the Thursday evening graduation, the narc mother tried her best to ruin it all. Wasn't showered or ready at the time I asked her to be. Sat in the kitchen in her bathrobe pouting. She showed NO happiness for me whatsoever. Wouldn't speak to me on the 40 minute drive to the college, but acted like the life of the party around my student friends. Afterwards, she tossed a card from the doorway onto the guest bed (where I was staying at her home since I live out of state.) It was despicable behavior. It took a couple more years before I learned about her condition called "narcissism." I never knew her lifelong meanness towards me was an actual THING with a name! Thank God, I'm at peace with NOOOO Contact now for 5.5 years! Glad I found you Dr. Carter! Gratitude & Blessings.
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
First, congrats on getting your degree at 58! When I was in my 20's and in graduate school, I had a classmate named Betty who was 60. She was an absolute delight. As to your mom, that is a moment when her character was revealed in full color. So sad that she couldn't be happy at a time like that. Glad you've found peace. Dr. C
@t200b-i7k
@t200b-i7k 3 жыл бұрын
Dear Dr. Carter, Thank you for your congratulatory message! I learned SO much being an older adult in college & I loved the experience! I hope maybe some of the 20year old students will remember me the same way you recall Betty! Thanks for your work. Blessings!
@marieldavison5121
@marieldavison5121 Жыл бұрын
My narc brother did the same shit at my graduation to ruin my great day.
@consultmlcesqful
@consultmlcesqful 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for simplifying this issue; as well as narcissism. You have described my Immediate family dynamics, in a nutshell. This destructive trait hampers the development of wholesome relationships; and seems to follow the envied & envious to their graves. I’ve spent most of my life subjected to either incestuous sexual abuse, envy, narcissism or domestic violence / trauma . But, with yours and the help of sought after others . . . I am finally on the mend. At 62, I’m done. I’ve had to distance myself from all. Hoping to find and sustain some joy during my remaining days.
@karinberonius8799
@karinberonius8799 3 жыл бұрын
"Resentful yearning". This expression says so much more (at least to me) than "to begrudge".
@janetpattison8474
@janetpattison8474 3 жыл бұрын
OMG! Thank you Dr. Carter, I cannot believe what you said! And that is something like, “once they feel like they are on top of the heap, (the right home & toys, money, the right car, The parties, the husband, the kids, the vacations), they don’t want you to have anything to do with what is their’s!” Wow, many years of mystery explained so perfectly! So so true, like not getting invited, not being included, being ignored, being lied to, sneaking around, unbelievable rudeness, and more, all because they believe they were are top of the heap and they don’t want to share it.”
@notgivingthisout6977
@notgivingthisout6977 3 жыл бұрын
I almost think the enablers were worse than the covert in this regard. He was more or less indifferent about my having any successes (at least on the surface, or to my face). But, he was all for having someone else do his behind the scenes bidding, or pulling strings that couldn't be traced back to him, leaving him to maintain plausible deniability in the public sphere.
@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively
@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 3 жыл бұрын
How is this about enabling? Sounds like narcissistic abuse to me...indifference is very demeaning. We all need and deserve acknowledgment and love. I do not understand how you seem to blame "enablers."
@notgivingthisout6977
@notgivingthisout6977 3 жыл бұрын
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I meant that the enablers more overtly manifested envy. I felt it from them more. (Or maybe I should say I felt their empathy less.) I'm still learning, so maybe I used the wrong terminology - I was in what I understand to be a collective narcissism scenario. Maybe they weren't enablers but narcissists in their own right. I'm not an expert.
@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively
@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 3 жыл бұрын
@@notgivingthisout6977 that seems to match Dr. C and I find it sad we have to judge others in order to learn. Where are you on jealousy or envy? I know I envy and yes I have been supply. Enabling was very unconscious I feel. I adored a fraud.
@notgivingthisout6977
@notgivingthisout6977 3 жыл бұрын
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I also highly esteemed a fraud, and certainly I was supply and enabled (though had no idea that's what I was doing at the time). I envied the connection that the collective appeared to have (because I was the scapegoat/nonconforming/"other"), but not material aspects or the successes they had. I actually had hoped for a collaborative environment, and wished them well. They did not reciprocate that whatsoever.
@notgivingthisout6977
@notgivingthisout6977 3 жыл бұрын
In that environment, it felt like my lack of competitiveness was part of why I was "othered" - though I'm not sure that's precisely it, or that it conveys what I mean entirely.
@TC-gx3qn
@TC-gx3qn Жыл бұрын
Being the object of envy of strangers, family, and so called friends leaves deep wounds.
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
One of my high school counselors used to say, „Don’t make people pity you, make them envy you.“ I don’t agree with that at all. Being envied makes me a little uncomfortable. Envious people often try to destroy the people they envy. 😮
@jennylynn82173
@jennylynn82173 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Les 🌞 Your guidance is a true blessing…
@lynnehaeberle5641
@lynnehaeberle5641 2 жыл бұрын
Love that you’re wearing green when you talk about envy!! 😂👍
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 2 жыл бұрын
It was planned. Dr. C
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
And a beautiful shade of green, too. 🟢🟩
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
I wonder where the phrase „green with envy“ originated?
@e.d.3729
@e.d.3729 2 жыл бұрын
Ringing LOTS of bells. Because I have slightly more material advantages -- WHICH I ALWAYS TRY TO SHARE -- I'm someone, according to my brother, who has no problems. And how dare I ask to be perceived as a person with problems and needs. HE has problems and needs, and he's allowed to talk about them, but if I do anything other than constantly praise and shower him with encouragement (WHICH I DO!), then I'm the worst. He has said, verbatim, "I don't feel sorry for you," after describing a trauma. Yes, it wasn't long after that that our relationship effectively ended. I'm still sad about it. But there's no other way. No matter how much praise and encouragement I gave him, it was never enough. (And yes it's weird for a brother to turn to a sister of this.)
@christar9527
@christar9527 3 жыл бұрын
I never understood my envious sister. She displayed such cruel lack of empathy and being an empath myself, I couldn’t wrap my head around her glee when I had permanent eye and facial damage and again later when I went into seizures in the ER where she stood over me and mocked my face. She had always hung her head in shame around me for many different reasons. My reaction was to feel guilty, like just by being me I was doing something wrong. I now see how comparative and competitive she has been and it’s just not in her nature, being a narcissist, to try to connect with other people on a deeper level. She must be pretty miserable inside and covers it with money and possessions. I think I’m better off being a truly caring and empathetic person. I never thought I’d be saying that. 😄
@Ash-gz9co
@Ash-gz9co 2 жыл бұрын
That's really unfortunate and no one deserves that kind of treatment. You're certainly much better off...that's her problem with you now. Possessions cannot fill God sized voids!
@lisahyyppa3360
@lisahyyppa3360 3 жыл бұрын
Hebrews 13:5-6 (KJV) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. 🙏♥️ God Bless you and thank you again for the messages that you share (in the loving kindness of protecting people from unforeseen circumstances whereby they become victims of ruthless people who engage in evil tactics without remorse).
@cynthiamiller1983
@cynthiamiller1983 3 жыл бұрын
The narcissist have the beautiful home with the swimming pool the beautiful maintenance lawn the nice automobiles and the capability to travel and enjoy life but they choose instead to go around the neighborhood or family and people they consider friends or acquaintance and make their life a living hell and be so dependent on them to be the narcs entertainment director and to be at their beckoning call at any time of the day and any hour of the night. I can't understand with all of the beauty God is blessed them with that they can't even enjoy that and stay in their own lane but they can go through the neighborhood or through family friends or acquaintances and be the worst nightmare you can even imagine. SMH.
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
Narcissism and the craving for superiority are constant bedfellows. Dr. C
@cynthiamiller1983
@cynthiamiller1983 3 жыл бұрын
Dr.C, I am so thankful GOD did not let me fall into the black pit of narcissistic ways. I choose my peace and bliss over their material greed and empty life.
@Virsidus
@Virsidus 3 жыл бұрын
Great people use that envy as fuel, it's not even a hate of the other person, more like an energetic encouragement, that we can have it too. Seeing someone better should be an inspiration to push us ahead. Instead of trying to tear others down, great people build themselves up. They come from a place of "If they can have it, so can I, but I have to work hard!"
@candybradford6468
@candybradford6468 3 жыл бұрын
This explains so much to me on several levels. Growing up, I had a family member who would ask what I wanted for Christmas. And every Christmas, almost without fail, this person would get for herself what I had requested. I could never voice how or why it bothered me so and was shamed and accused of being selfish. Now, I understand the motive behind the person asking. Such freedom in knowing that now. Thank you.
@teresacotton7923
@teresacotton7923 3 жыл бұрын
Candy Bradford I had an older sister like that but I caught on early what she was doing so I started telling her I didn't need anything. She is still jealous and suffocating at 75.
@rorywright5692
@rorywright5692 3 жыл бұрын
Looking forward to this one! What a great topic!
@irenemcnamara9699
@irenemcnamara9699 3 жыл бұрын
My narcissist sister let her envious nature overule her common sense. She preyed on our elderly aunt and got our aunt to assign Laura the powers of attorney. She finally got our aunt to assign everything to her, except her house and car. Laura got all the insurance, bank accounts, and stocks assigned over to her. When my aunt died, her estate was worth some $600,000+. My aunt had no heirs. Probate Court left 25% to her brother, and a certain amount to 17 relatives, but Laura got to assign what that amount was. It wasn't much. A civil court decided that she committed a criminal act. However, we did not have the money to prosecute her. So she got away with stealing my aunt's estate, and preying on an elderly woman!
@LoverofLife863
@LoverofLife863 3 жыл бұрын
It’s as if your telling my family’s story. My uncle’s daughter did the exact same thing to hiM. She drained his bank account, upgraded his vehicle and changed the name on the title. She took trips. She went on shopping sprees at Saks, Nordstrom, Gucci, etc. she left a trail of destruction.
@irenemcnamara9699
@irenemcnamara9699 3 жыл бұрын
@@LoverofLife863 Ciao Mr. Muah! This is a mean thing to say, but I take comfort that I'm not alone! The last 2 decades have been very hard on me. My sisters were appointed personal representatives of my Father's estate. It was supposed to be distributed equally between the three of us sisters. When it came to paying themselves the share of money for their work, I believe that they took thousands of dollars from my share. When it came to my Father's death, my sisters told my Father that he would have to go into assisted living. Rather than face up to that, he killed himself with a shotgun. He placed the gun on the floor, pointed it to his throat, and pulled the trigger with his toe. It was a very bloody, tragic end for a very good, hard-working man to go through. Tragically, I was the only one crying at his funeral.
@godzillamanstreb524
@godzillamanstreb524 3 жыл бұрын
Is it possible for a person to act as you describe & not be a narcissist? Every narcissist I know sounds like this
@svharken6907
@svharken6907 3 жыл бұрын
This is why the super rich cannot stop and enjoy what they have... they compete for supersize yachts and spaceship rides ... I wonder if they have any joy at all... but unfortunately they get to make decisions for huge numbers of people ... and they do it without empathy for those people.
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
More, more, more. Dr. C
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
Maybe we should put them all on a spaceship, send it to outer space, and leave it there.
@reginathornton7433
@reginathornton7433 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for linking these two. I have a friend who is extremely jealous of my ministry & knowledge of the Bible. She cuts me down & tries to manipulate & bully me. She regularly tries cheating me financially & stealing money from me. If I buy something, she wants to deprive me of it & take it (& my money). She's a millionaire & I am on Social Security. She also LIES a lot.
@TC-gx3qn
@TC-gx3qn Жыл бұрын
She is not your friend, sister. The Word of God says a friend loves at all times. Praying for the Lord to bless you with true covenant friendships. 🙏🏽
@joyhancock8596
@joyhancock8596 3 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness this is exactly what I've been dealing with and just broke a frienship over. I love how you said they don't like the word enough. That's how I felt around this person - like I was never enough.
@mt.gamecalls2566
@mt.gamecalls2566 3 жыл бұрын
This describes my now ex to a Tee. I feel bad for him but I know leaving that relationship was for the best.
@flyingeaglewoman8682
@flyingeaglewoman8682 3 жыл бұрын
Goodness gracious- talking about our current politicians again. Thank you again!
@carolhampshire7820
@carolhampshire7820 3 жыл бұрын
Been waiting for this one thankyou DR C.
@SK-or4lw
@SK-or4lw 3 жыл бұрын
I have never felt that I deserved what someone else had or maybe they didn't deserve it but I have felt envious in that I wished I my life was more like theirs. I think my feelings are more like envy with admiration. I sure don't want to take their stuff. In fact someone like that sounds scary! I struggle with feeling like I wasted my youth.
@ushere5791
@ushere5791 3 жыл бұрын
wow. i truly and deeply love my sister; thanks to this video, i sure understand her a lot better now. i hope she eventually comes to realize how great she is in her own right rather than living in the perpetual comparison, criticism, and insecurity of envy.
@sarahsselflovelifestyle463
@sarahsselflovelifestyle463 3 жыл бұрын
A million thanks for this video! May the good Lord continue to strengthen you to do this good work.
@ngekiny1246
@ngekiny1246 2 жыл бұрын
I made a delish Apple cake for the next morning's breakfast, thinking i was doing something sweet. My partner ate a piece,i caught him talking to himself how great It was, he did'nt know that i was right behind him. Then when he saw me he immediately changed his facial expression.Doesn't want to let me know It was delicious. He did'nt eat It anymore... I ate It alone for the next 3 days. He immediately said he's going to Cook his potato cake& he did. guess the out come? It was all dry,he did'nt even tell me he threw It away,i discovered so because i found It in the dustbin the following day.
@davidp2888
@davidp2888 3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I wonder if I empathize enough because years ago I was told "You don't seem to care about your customers when you interact with them." When a friend shares something positive in their life, I'm genuinely happy for them. The narc in my life rarely shows empathy, and if they do I wonder if it's genuine. They are envious though; they always want what someone else has but they aren't willing to work for it. I can't imagine what it's like being that way.
@mailill
@mailill 3 жыл бұрын
Beware of too much black and white thinking, and thinking in terms of "we and them", though. There are, of course people who act and talk in such destructive ways that it is totally necessary to make sound boundaries or even get away and and go no contact - yet most people have both good and bad in them, and all this almost revelling in "how bad they are" (and how we are so different and better), might not be very sound in the long run. It might be a time for it, but it also might be a time for just focusing on other things in life. Well, maybe I am just preaching for myself. Have good life! :-)
@mailill
@mailill 3 жыл бұрын
That being said, understanding "cluster B"-disorders is important, IMO. Especially if it could lead to a way of preventing people with too many of those traits to be leaders in society. So thanks for the good work of giving information!
@suzannesmith5339
@suzannesmith5339 3 жыл бұрын
Your list beginning at 8:00, including “enough” and “satisfied” gave me understanding to why I had to detach from the N. family member who cannot listen without comparing.
@rebeccabiage6271
@rebeccabiage6271 3 жыл бұрын
The behaviors of hyper-competitiveness, one-upmanship and low empathy discussed in this video describes the leadership style of a "trio of toxicity" I once knew (Nicole, Phil, Meghan).
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
Im not a Muslim, but I know a little about Islam. According to the Qur‘an, Heaven will have seven levels, each one more fantastic than the next. People will be able to visit back and forth between the levels, but no one will be envious of anyone else. There will be no back-biting, no gossip, no one-upmanship, and everyone will be content with what they have. 😊
@sheilajac
@sheilajac 3 жыл бұрын
Ugh, I have stories...one in particular, where someone was basically delusional about succeeding with something they weren't actually qualified for (in hindsight - they are a very persuasive person and had me convinced at the time that they were a shoe-in, I am out of that fish-bowl now and can see things clearly). I shared in their excitement, I was in that weird delusion with them, happy FOR them, I said "If you win, maybe you could hire me as your nanny" (or something, I cant recall exactly what) and I swear to god, this person (a narc, obviously) turned around and rewarded me for my support & enthusiasm by telling me "don't think you're going to ride my coat-tails"! One of many times this person said something so insensitive and cruel for no reason & really inappropriate considering the circumstances. Of course they didn't even make the "semi-finals" as it were...no I did not rub it in, which is something they probably would have done had the shoe been on the other foot...I DO have empathy...I encouraged them to try another time, with something else, to not give up. Now, I believe that same person has sabotaged my life, my relationships, due to another delusional belief, in essence, they have rationalized beating me down because they believe I am responsible for a life failure of theirs that was 100% their own doing and undoing. They triangulated me, in hindsight they have been triangulating me and everyone else for a very long time.
@lovearttherapyalways
@lovearttherapyalways 2 жыл бұрын
She McGee, I know exactly what you are saying here and I have experienced some of that also...the insidious part is the triangulation behind the scenes and here we are fully trusting someone who is destroying us behind our backs.... repaying us for our good and love with evil and hate. It is pure evil.
@rutherussell100
@rutherussell100 2 жыл бұрын
So sorry you have had this treatment.
@sheilajac
@sheilajac 2 жыл бұрын
@@lovearttherapyalways demonic! I don't think a person can have a soul and do this to another human being, much less a family member. So, at least I know, when they die and I die, we will not be going to the same place and will never meet again, in any lifetime or on any dimension.
@danip6648
@danip6648 2 жыл бұрын
@@sheilajac I agree completely! It is heartbreaking to see these harsh truths head on but I am at a place in my life whereby enough is enough! When someone shows us their true colors, believe them! God bless you!
@mcm9619
@mcm9619 3 жыл бұрын
I love how you explain how other people think .
@Donita1213
@Donita1213 3 жыл бұрын
Yes it's like he's actually saying what they're thinking. Before I couldn't understand what they were thinking. Or I couldn't put it into words. Intense very intense.
@sannajohanna5579
@sannajohanna5579 3 жыл бұрын
Oh yes. Mysteriously I have always lost everything that I love, like, appreciate or value if I have mentioned about those things in my family. I am certan for 100%, that my mom has her hands in the fact that my daughter does not want to take contact to me anymore. I am not so wealthy, so money won. My parents have money, I do not. Of course, it has been the goal all the time, to keep me low. But, I did not understand these patterns before there was an internet and You Tube and this kind of videos. I am not alone any more. I am not the only „grazy who is only imaging all bad thongs“. So many people have experienced the same. Well, this question has just bern in my mind: How to feel compassion for the person who systematically has drstroyed everything that you love ir like in your life, if you have just given any hint of those things? Interestingly, also, my parents have always laughed at me because I am so sensitive and emphat. Therefore, I have tried to deny that I am thise things - and got in troubles because I have met so many peopne who take advantage of it, that I try to deny. Last week I met a man who said to me: „It isso goodto be sensible and emphath, and you are!“ And I was wondering, that he did not mock me becauseof this what he saw. Or laughed at me. But, my mom is now sick and expecting me to show emphaty for her. She is on her way to use all manipulation tactics that she knows. And I wonder, what to do. I have not met her in 6 years. But I know that she has not changrd. The difference is that now I KNOW the danger. This is a ling story, but indeed, I have decided that I end the game now, in a way or another. My strategy now is practise greyrock and give her breadgrumps. Did I wanted this? No, but I am 56 years old and maybe I deserve to be happy some times and get things that I want.
@katherineg9396
@katherineg9396 2 жыл бұрын
You do deserve to be happy and get the things you want. Absolutely!
@aaronfischer9885
@aaronfischer9885 3 жыл бұрын
"Possessions are nothing more than an inconvenience and expectations simply a premeditated resentment." ~ Unknown
@methodicalmysticbutterflyi2669
@methodicalmysticbutterflyi2669 2 жыл бұрын
Dr. Carter, you are my blessed treasure. 🙌
@bertzerker747
@bertzerker747 3 жыл бұрын
I like meeting people with so much esteemed character and personality that they have no concern to give it away freely. It's because I trust they accept my empathy conversely. 🙏😉
@elizabethmansfield3609
@elizabethmansfield3609 3 жыл бұрын
Yes. I have now learned to put the envious in my life behind a barrier. Linking envy to low empathy, and to taunting, answers my key questions about their behaviour. It explains a *lot*. Actually, I feel sufficiently safe from them these days to feel very sorry for them, they really miss out on the one thing worth having, the joy of true connection. Thank you!!
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
I feel sorry for envious people, too.
@amandac7056
@amandac7056 3 жыл бұрын
Dr Carter, Love you and your Angel self. Your chair even give me a visual of your wings😉
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Amanda. The angel chair is comfortable. Dr.C
@LostHorizon52
@LostHorizon52 3 жыл бұрын
So well stated and explained, thank you so much for all your very wise insights, Dr. Carter 💕
@aliceroberts1980
@aliceroberts1980 3 жыл бұрын
This just sounds like my narcissistic mother!
@berlyn4444
@berlyn4444 3 жыл бұрын
The other day, my mother told my 3 year old daughter she is envious of her hair. It was weird.
@karmivavirhe
@karmivavirhe 3 жыл бұрын
This topic is just what I was thinking today! I have a colleague at work who is nice and fun most times but also the most envious person anyone has met. This video taught me to beware the lack of empathy which shows itself in her now and then...
@vals74
@vals74 3 жыл бұрын
I have had to deal with envy and jealousy my whole life. I have finally come to terms with knowing I would rather be alone than engage with these miserable individuals. No! It is not true that misery loves company. Misery fits right in with miserly. They are miserable and cheap misers. Stingy with there belongings, their empathy and compassion. I have come to despise these envious evil-doers.
@foxiefair123
@foxiefair123 2 жыл бұрын
I have too, but the problem is I’ve never understood why.
@VickiBee
@VickiBee 2 жыл бұрын
How is this different from economic inequality that's so extreme it actually hurts the economy? According to my friend who worked on Wall Street for 8 years and survived the World Trade Center bombing of 2001, "If you hoard money and never use it, the economy isn't going to move anyway and given enough time will create an extremes wealth inequality that will blow up in the greed monsters faces." He said he's not jealous. Every person in his company was killed that day, including his 2 good friends and her unborn baby - "and still people choose not to learn that extreme anything (esp greed) kills people." He was burned over 60% of his body and still has little memory of why he lived. He doesn't want anything they have, because he thinks what they have is nothing. He doesn't care if they're the wealthiest person on earth. "If you can constantly look at pictures of sick & starving children and still whine all the time about your own problems you got nothing I want."
@martyminer828
@martyminer828 2 жыл бұрын
WOW.....THIS session, EXPLAINS A LOT....so, basically, we'll NEVER be able to relate ... BUT, we DO understand,,,NOW..LOL. WALK AWAY! SAVE YOURSELF,,,,,they DO NOT PLAY in the TEAM HEALTHY, game of LIFE....CLUELESS.....smh
@ro7547
@ro7547 3 жыл бұрын
What if a person envies good relationships but NOT things?
@TheeyeOftruth-yx2np
@TheeyeOftruth-yx2np 9 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this DR Les, Truth and clarity, When they're envious they do things to try make you envious of them, Life is a competition, Peace, love, Respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe 🌷🐶🌚💜🐱🌈🌌💛❤😃🌝💚👽🌹😘😊🎨🖼👁💙🕊☘🐉
@jasonsneeden5934
@jasonsneeden5934 3 жыл бұрын
Fantastic!! Whenever I've learned any of these aspects from experience I've paid with a bump on my head. Dr. Carter Your wealth of knowledge is not just fulfilling but I imagine it also has come at price. Thank you for sharing. Know you are making a difference. Because of your work ill have less bruises. Thanks again.
@AlwaysStampinVideos
@AlwaysStampinVideos 3 жыл бұрын
Right out of the gate, Dr. Carter- i so appreciate how you explained the difference between jealousy and envy. In regards to narcissism, your explanation made so much sense I’m (edited *in) understanding why a narcissist does what they do. Thanks for all you do for team healthy! You and your videos are my “bonus.”
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
So pleased! Dr. C
@ladybird8375
@ladybird8375 Жыл бұрын
In other words they are just evil.
@Gill12283
@Gill12283 3 жыл бұрын
Very useful video....everyone feels envy at sometime in their lives but when you're happy with your own situation envy dies down☺
@RatedArggg
@RatedArggg Жыл бұрын
I hope you'll do a video on false empathy. I've met a few narcissists who possess this. They're very convincing until you figure them out.
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
I know someone like that.
@lovearttherapyalways
@lovearttherapyalways 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for another informative video. I am astonished at how many envious people are out there. I have had several friendships or rather what I thought were sincere friends turn on me out of envy. The sad part is those same people had way more than me financially and yet were harbouring all this envy at little things. I found myself having to walk away over and over again from such people. There is a saying that says.... an envious friend is a dangerous enemy. All of this saddens me. I wish it were easier to find good and sincere friends. God bless you and sweet Gus!
@reneela3471
@reneela3471 3 жыл бұрын
I can't imagine any human being that doesn't have some sort of envy but could it be balanced out with empathy trying to walk in another shoes and see their perspective I think most humans fall short of being the good true and beautiful person they were born to be
@christar9527
@christar9527 3 жыл бұрын
I think there truly are some people who aren’t envious or jealous. I know I’m one of them.
@valerietaylor9615
@valerietaylor9615 7 ай бұрын
Im not overly given to envy, but I admit I do get a twinge of it whenever I see a really tall woman.
@griff791
@griff791 Жыл бұрын
Best to separate yourself from envious people as it will eventually mess with your mind if you stay around them long enough.
@joseenoel8093
@joseenoel8093 3 жыл бұрын
Oh really, how interesting😵! I don't get envy, 🤔think I'll quit while I'm definitely ahead, thank you! 😽
@joseenoel8093
@joseenoel8093 3 жыл бұрын
@@chriswyma145 yes aye, good comment! The glass is always half full!
@donna-colorado8443
@donna-colorado8443 3 жыл бұрын
Mine handled conflict by saying we are done talking about this.
@Robidu1973
@Robidu1973 3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Carter, I'd like to add another one that comes straight from Crazyville: _How dare you?_ If an envious person feels like having been deprived of something that they believe is rightfully theirs, this characteristic seems to flare up rather quickly, along with all associated ramifications and repercussions.
@rarecockneyguvnor4945
@rarecockneyguvnor4945 3 жыл бұрын
Envious people are EVIL and wicked
@Feribrat99
@Feribrat99 3 жыл бұрын
Not all sarcasm is bad, just the kind that cuts one person down to inflate another. Some sarcasm is fun between those who can get the implied joke.... no belittling allowed.
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
Ok, I can flow with that. Dr. C
@joseenoel8093
@joseenoel8093 3 жыл бұрын
Malignant mom's house went into lock-down after she was hauled away, section 10, a danger to herself and others but due to covid, the Maritimes kept me away... The public trustees officer then put her house on the market 😵 and hired my cousin (it's a townhouse whereas he owns the top half) to check on things thus lowering his own house insurance fee 😕. I was quite upset, my husband's take on it was that I was *jealous* of my cousin hence my disappointment, my husband is useless for me when I need support the most, you'd think I'd of learned by now!
@dawnemile4974
@dawnemile4974 3 жыл бұрын
Your husband is showing narcisisstic traits.
@craigmerkey8518
@craigmerkey8518 3 жыл бұрын
Great information! It is very difficult interacting with a person when the past is not resolved, who's perceived slights are still swirling around, instead of being present! It presents its self in so many ways!
@evonnamann2251
@evonnamann2251 2 жыл бұрын
I was once in my life more humble and I was dealing with my narcissist husband and actually just in my survival mode. After we divorced then I started having some envy towards my friend. She had her parents help her with all of her difficult financial situations. I was struggling to raise my children on a very low income and I didn't have any help. So I started feeling sorry for myself,at the time I didn't realize that I was feeling sorry for myself but rather I was just in a difficult place. So after some years I told my friend that I was jealous of her and that when she fell into a pile of crap then she came out smelling like a rose but when I fell into a pile of crap then I smelled like crap. She said well I didn't realize that you felt this way and I can see where you can feel this way. I told her I needed to work on myself and I didn't like who I was becoming. She said we all have our insecurities and I envy you in ways because you have came through your crap better than I have. So we have to acknowledge each other and talk about what is eating at us and not let that cancer spread out and take us over. Yes life is difficult and trying and crazy at times,most times that is. We have to search ourselves thoroughly and decide what we have to change because we'll never be better and move forward if we don't always stop and consider what or why do we feel and think as we do.
@franb9400
@franb9400 3 жыл бұрын
Listening on my AirPods, can hear thunder in the background 👀 seems suitable considering the content of the video 🤣🤣
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
Indeed it was storming outside that day! Dr. C
@logand2353
@logand2353 3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Carter!, sometimes I don’t think a “ like” button is enough to thank you for how your sessions are helping me to heal. But thank you so much!! 🙏 🙏
@DrLesCarter
@DrLesCarter 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Daphne. I'm pleased that you find the videos useful! Dr. C
@sherryrichelle
@sherryrichelle 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Dr. C! 🌻
@Mehmet-rw9bu
@Mehmet-rw9bu 3 жыл бұрын
An envious person becomes depressed when they see you succeed and wants nothing more than for you to fail. I believe, no I'm positive that envy is the root of all evilness. Thank you Dr. C, it perfectly completes the video about jealousy and now I've learned the difference between both.
@loekiekanters4295
@loekiekanters4295 2 жыл бұрын
The worst of the worst: sex-envy.
@thankyou1741
@thankyou1741 10 ай бұрын
This is really really sick 🤮
@anthonystubbs1978
@anthonystubbs1978 3 ай бұрын
NARCISSISTIC ANESTHETICS -- Traits the induces insensitivity to other peoples pain and plights.
@asimplecadence
@asimplecadence 3 жыл бұрын
Your videos give me encouragement everyday, Dr. C. Thanks! It's easy to forget but you help remind me!
@randy_cbc8811
@randy_cbc8811 2 ай бұрын
“I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:12-13
@francesbernard2445
@francesbernard2445 3 жыл бұрын
I've noticed that because everyone has a bit different of a value system it is kind of a crap shoot on whom is going to be envious of me after walking into a new classroom or any other meeting place starting to participate in a meet up. Only one thing for sure is that whenever I am out of touch concerning something like the Star Trek series if I were to try and fit in along with others on an outing to one of those Trekkies conventions I would be wise to stay quieter than usual given my advanced age since I know nothing about comic books while only liking to draw. My 7 year old grandson disagreed with me 3 days ago after I admitted to him that I am old and it sure made my day.
@flyingeaglewoman8682
@flyingeaglewoman8682 3 жыл бұрын
And Dr. Les- yes your videos have given insight in to myself and others. I need to work on how to respond when in these dynamics, particularly with family whom carry some narcissistic tendencies. Of the passive/ covert style. Has taken me decades to get insight and understanding in to the dysfunctional ways of some folks in my life, busy doing life... your insights have given me fresh perspectives and I thank you. From the west coast of the USA.
@IzabelaWaniek-i1x
@IzabelaWaniek-i1x Ай бұрын
Not all personalities deserve empathy. The Bible says that greed is the root of all evil. If you are envious, you are greedy and not satisfied or grateful for what you have.
@elanahammer1076
@elanahammer1076 3 жыл бұрын
@ Dr. C and community… Thank you empathy is good. Sarcasm can also be a coping mechanism in my opinion.
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