How Gay Loneliness Makes Us Social Chameleons

Continuing the conversation about gay loneliness, I found that one way we often cope is through chameleon social behavior.
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[@paulnadolski2814]

THIS is probably the reason why I withdrew from the "gay scene" more than ten years ago. I never felt like I fit in, and so I try to...but when I try to, then it feels fake and I'm sure everyone around me realizes it's fake and so then I end up being even lonelier and feeling even more like I don't belong. You have to be true to yourself, ultimately, even if that means you're not fitting in with what everyone expects you to be.

[@KelleyMeyer-f9h]

I find that lesbians as soon as they’re coupled forget about their single friends…this has been my struggle…they need to remember we are those friends that listened to their struggles when they were struggling. Some lesbians feel that they are better than you because of their couple status. I find this hurtful and isolating. I am now more withdrawn, not unhappy, but it made me realize who your true friends are. Yes, dogs are better than people!! ❤️😊🙏🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈

[@rogueagentkillerrodan1498]

You are stronger than you think.

[@carlorizzo827]

Donny, ThankU, sensitive treatment. Gosh, i was terribly lonely and a chameleon in my violent family of origin. Turned to alcohol, drugs, and therapy. Found out I'm neuro-diverse. Becoming a dancer really taught me to have friends and work with people. AA also showed me friendships. A teacher recently made the point, that the quest for authenticity, doesn't mean we have to be brutally honest. Gentle honesty means tact, diplomacy.

[@Uranianth]

Yeah. I remember in uni i forced myself to read about soccer history and try to keep up with the games and teams (although i loathe soccer lol) just so i can integrate in conversation with straight friends in Uni. I never dared coming out to them because of fear.

[@michaeljharrell]

Sometimes, I've felt a bit fake or like I didn't really know myself. But I've learned that as long as I'm not hurting anyone or getting hurt, I can embrace and use this skill. It's especially helpful in managing customer escalations or building trust to get useful information for my job. Plus, it makes it easier to fit into different social settings. I used to see it as being fake, but it's not. I'm still being my genuine self, just with a higher tolerance for being around people different from me. Of course, I have my preferences for the people I truly enjoy being around, but I try to be kind and get to know those around me if the environment is right for conversation. Meeting new people and exchanging pleasantries can be enjoyable, and you can meet some really cool folks, whether it's for a couple of minutes in a movie line or 20 minutes in a waiting room. Don't get me wrong, I'm not always in the mood to chat with strangers, but when I do, I know I have a gift for being a social chameleon. It might have formed in my personality from past negative experiences, but instead of punishing myself or trying to change, I prefer to use this ability as a gift.

[@ghostface3254]

What I’ve come to realise in recent years is that I literally have no interest in having a sense of belonging in the gay community it’s not for me and that’s okay

[@Zhumla]

Brother my brother, why be a gay "chameleon" when you can be a "gay" chameleon.

[@DonnyWinter]

Lmao, fair point 🤣