How getting a PhD changed my life (and how it didn't)

[@Despe_in]

I finished my PhD this year and received a postdoc. I then proceeded to absolutely collapse into depression. Can confirm that this redirection of your channel towards focus on inner states is a highly needed perspective for me, and many other academics I guess

[@The_Special_Educator]

What subject did you get your PHD in?

[@Despe_in]

@@The_Special_Educator Medical errors and healthcare safety

[@tzvi7989]

This is exactly why unis are having a hard time recruiting postdocs rn haha

[@snackentity5709]

@@Despe_in Oh boy, I bet that's interesting to direct your radar onto current events.

[@loudletters4u]

After finishing my PhD, I’ve felt lost and disoriented… but I decided to use this shift to launch my KZbin channel and document my life thereafter ! Life is nothing but a journey of endless learning!

[@Ayesha_11122]

Just wanted to share a bit of my experience that I wrote as a reply to another comment, actually. So my struggles with the PhD got me into psychology first and then the realm of existential psychology, which has roots in philosophy probably more than any other 'schools' of psychology. I started with Man's Search For Meaning (Viktor Frankl's classic) and that took me into this incredibly rich philosophical world. And while, I have read some classics in this particular field and broadened my understanding of philosophy in general, a lot of has actually been through engaging with contemporary literature. KZbin channels helped as well- Two recommendations- Eric Dodson & his other lecture channel, and Emmy Van Deurzen who is a pioneer in this field (of existential psychology and psychotherapy) and also puts put her own videos that are so reassuring while simultaneously never failing to push for more resilience on our part. I think I experienced such a profound disconnection and sense of meaninglessnes with my PhD that I got inspired and motivated to study and understand what IS meaningful to me. And didn't realise that I didn't know that at all and only when I thought of it (and ironically) through academic engagement with the philosophy and psychology of MEANING, did I get a better handle over why I hated my PhD experience so much. And I had to have a conversation with myself while also keeping the option of quitting the PhD open, which I decided eventually not to take. This engagement with existential psychology and psychotherapy, and eventually philosophy behind it have been such a massive support and an anchor for me through challenging times and my mental health in general, which was going to the dogs. I did therapy but the more conventional CBT types just did not cut it for the deepest questions that i needed to work through. I had to do things my way and take responsibility for myself after my therapist pushed me to a see psychiatrist because she couldn't make much of my issues (most of it was related to PhD). And the psychiatrist was just going to diganose with an anxiety disorder or whatever. Now i am not saying these options are bad options to take, but it is also important to understand that appropriate mental health care can be hard to find, so don't just go believing you need to take pills, engage with the problem. Don't just get trapped with the feeling of - "I just can't seem to get this done, so I MUST be inherently incapable and defective, and of course, my problem could have nothing to do with this particular circumstance". Explore this big resistance that you're feeling- with self-compassion, with curiousity, and with as much objectivity as you can. But Try! Ask- 'Why is it so hard for me?' and listen to yourself; Treat your intuition and inner voice with the respect that it deserves. See where it's guiding you. That is what set me on this path of understanding myself better. Also, while work is important, your life is not just your PhD. You are NOT just your PhD. (For the logically inclined- YOU THE PERSON =/= Your PhD; YOUR LIFE =/= Your PhD)..You're a living, breathing, existing being with potential and it can be realised in more ways than you might be thinking of at the moment. The PhD becomes our universe but that's just not what the reality is. We lose perspective- that we are ALIVE and a part of a mysterious process which will end one day. I'm going to end with this quote that i read in a book prologue (don't know who the author is). ------ "People ask me what I want to do with my life as though I'm something separate from life. I am life; I'm alive. I'm living, doing, flowing, moving, growing, changing, dying, happening." Yikes- I did not know how much i had written. This comment got LONG! Edit: Thank you to all who took the time to read this. I'm happy to see this resonated with others too! I hope I have been a help to you.

[@marohs5606]

thank u so much for putting the effort and sharing ur experience.. I relate so much as I have been going through same things past 4 years but not seems to break the cycle.. it is good to know that my thoughts of being inefficient might not be true !!! thank u

[@Ayesha_11122]

@@marohs5606 So glad to hear that this resonated. And also glad that I'm not alone in this. More power to you. You'll be surprised at the lies our minds tells! It's hard business taming the voice inside the head, to the point that it helps us rather than causing harm. You can do this. You're so much more resourceful than you might feel at the moment, and you've got a lot to offer the world. Also, i don't really see myself as having broken a cycle either. (And neither is my PhD over). It's all about showing up as much as you can. And on many occasions it can just be about "keeping your head above the water" and not surrendering to despair. And that's ok. If that is what life demands at that moment then that's what we attend to.

[@marohs5606]

@@Ayesha_11122 Thank you for ur kind words!! wish u the same power to finish ur PhD and thrive in ur life

[@ud1819]

Ayesha, thank you for putting in words ,what I have been feeling for the last 5 years everyday. I can just say that I relate to this..Completely. The only good thing my Phd led me to is studying existential psychology, spirituality and questioning the purpose of my being. I'm reading Man's search for meaning currently, and I absolutely love it ,so much so that i keep tearing up after a few paragraphs. I'm glad to meet a like minded fellow PhD survivor :)

[@Ayesha_11122]

@@ud1819 ❤️

[@UKEducatedLady]

I’m in the last 6 months before submission and needed this. Thank you.

[@larslarson1810]

this inspired me to take a pause and spend some time on the meditation cushion before jumping into my research this morning. thank you! i would love to see a video on something like time management vs mental energy management. i feel like my greatest challenge isn't that i don't have enough time, but that i often overdraft my mental energy budget. exercise and meditation are great examples of something that feels like it "takes time" but really it "makes time."

[@James_Hayton]

This is in the pipeline... I'm doing some talks on time management in the next few weeks and I'll post some clips to KZbin afterwards

[@Truongmaivan]

I will be having my final defense in two days. Looking back, it was a journey filled with a rollercoaster of emotions. There were undoubtedly challenging moments along the way. But now, despite overcoming numerous difficulties, I find myself at a crossroad. I feel uncertain about my future as a researcher and find myself feeling stuck, unsure of which path to pursue. By the way, I have been documenting the beautiful memories of my final days as a PhD student in Japan by creating videos on KZbin. It's my way of cherishing these moments and reminding myself that everything will be alright. Wishing the best of luck to all of you on your own journeys.

[@bthomson]

Driven? Never satisfied? Suffering from others' expectations of you? So many young people have never had a calm, self-satisfied moment! By pure luck I have had almost nothing but! Never achieved that much but always felt quite satisfied and even rather proud! Part of the secret is low expectations but another part is living in the moment - what Ekart Tolle calls the "now." I have always done this with no effort and great outcomes.

[@gaggablagblag9997]

This is true not only for PhD, but for work-life balance in general. True insightful channel, keep it real.

[@angelasarkar9274]

So grateful to have come across your channel at the right moment of my PhD life🙏

[@blondscientist]

I think it could be a good niche for you on YT. I haven't seen anything like it and I have been searching extensively because I am struggling a lot. In my final month before submission in genomics PhD now as a mature student trying to make a career shift to bioinformatics from virology. I am very academia averse and for that reason I resonate with Stapelton's message and appreciate his advice. I feel like he found a nice niche for "academia haters" which I have not seen before. What you touched upon here is definitely my struggle and you just confirmed for me it is a problem bigger than my PhD. It was just exacerbated by the PhD. I see now it will not go away if I don't solve it. Yes - there is a lot of similar content on YT but your physics degree and almost identical PhD experience are selling points for me to value your point of view more than others'. 👍

[@morganeua]

Ooh, this is definitely something I'm interested in. I make videos about PhD mindset occasionally, but I'm in the middle of one, so there's only so much advice I can give. I have a few ideas for you about things that have made completing the PhD difficult for myself or people I know. One would be how to keep going when you're deep enough into the PhD that you want to finish, but also deep enough to now know that academia is not the career path you want - which makes finishing feel a bit pointless. Another would be how to get excited about PhD work in a field where the dominant thinking in the field conflicts with your own thinking (different ideologies around what is good or correct or different political leanings, or whatever) - so, going against the grain feels lonely or pointless, but going with the grain means harder work, maybe disagreement from colleagues, and not working with your own interests in mind.

[@morganeua]

Also, I will say, starting a KZbin channel and committing to running goals have been the two best things I've done for myself and my PhD. Having other goals and hobbies that are not PhD related, but do test me mentally, emotionally, and intellectually is paramount. Now I spend 10 hours a week running which brings me confidence and mental clarity. And I spend about 10 hours a week making KZbin videos which helps me overcome imposter syndrome and fear of failure.

[@James_Hayton]

I'll check out your channel! Thanks for the video ideas

[@leventejuhasz3492]

I couldn't agree more. Just about to finish my Phd in 2 months in chemistry and i have been counting the days like an inmate. My phd was riddled with a supervisor who left, the intruments she took, then covid, then a new supervisor who would although accept me and my project, wouldn't care a bit as it's not his field, etc. But the most difficult part is when you realise around 2 years in that you definitely don^t want to stay in academia as it doesn't fit you neither personally and ideologically nor does it interest you professionally. And then still having to do 1.5-2 years was insane, honestly, i don't even know how i survived. Well, i do, i did what you mentioned, tried out completely new things and built all the other facets of my life to perfection so when i leave from this 'prison' at least i will have my life together. Now, just in the finish line i don't know if i feel deeply traumatised for having to have done this (and against all odds i have been quite successful and had many publications), really, i feel like i did 'time' or i am starting to feel extremely exhausted but relieved. It's over. The best aspect and my advice to anyone on a similar path in a phd is, however, to build up yourself mentally, physically and sort out all your issues during phd, because now at least you have the time and flexibility. I did this to such an extent that i have started to develop a completely unrelated social media app, so now, that i am starting to look for jobs in industry, i am not even thinking very long-term just to work until i build up my business(es). So yes, phd is pretty much one of the mentally most challenging things one can personally do. i always compare it to prison: you either break in it or you build yourself up to survive and then evetually you'll come out a lightyears stronger and better version of yourself. Good luck to you and everyone in their phds!

[@James_Hayton]

It's not a prison... you can leave any time if it's not the right thing for you (though I understand for some people there may be good reasons to stay, like visa issues if studying in another country). Why did you stay if you felt this way?

[@leventejuhasz3492]

@@James_Hayton Well, it's true, but at the same time my original goal was to get into the industrial the r&d field abroad, so i didn't want to cut my option there. Good thing is that in the meantime i realised what i really want, unitl which, working in industrial r&d definitely is definitely a better and more interesting option than stocking shelves. I agree that you can leave, but at the same time after already putting in 2 years, you don't want. I know, sunken cost, but still. :D

[@nurkleblurker2482]

The concept you're touching on is mindfulness. Having a peaceful inner state is a subject as old as history

[@James_Hayton]

I know :) I'll get to meditation etc soon, just wanted to define the problem before getting to ways of approaching it

[@JalalUdDin-fo5db]

Sir, I have been watching your videos for more than 2 years. Getting a PhD degree was my dream but my grades in the master degree (MA English literature) was terrible so i was not illegible for a PhD. Then kinda mirracle happened and i got my admission in it 5 weeks ago. Now i am doing my PhD. I am so happy for it. But tbh i know nothing. And my memory is bad nowadays that i think that i may have dementia or something. But we don’t have some good psychiatric here in our therefore i am not consulting them. But i am striving to do it anyway. No matter what, i will try my best. I am watching your videos. It helps me a lot and give me hope and it motivates me lot. Thanks for such a great videos. A lot of love and respect. Thanks doctor ❤😊

[@kkhalifah1019]

Started grad school after 20 years of working and I found I loved being a part-time grad school student so much that I went on to do my postgrad part-time after publishing my work. And I'm still loving it -- it's the thrill of the journey that makes a 50-year-old fart like me feel so alive and youthful again. But I'm starting to wonder what will happen when this too is done?

[@TheoPhysics495]

Thank you very much for the video, this hits really close to home. I’m currently just starting the 2nd year of my PhD at a top UK uni, and despite having this external image of success, I have this deep-seated unhappiness which has me questioning whether I should continue with the PhD. You mentioned that you moved to the Alps for a postdoc - it had been my dream to move abroad to the Alps for my PhD (e.g. Grenoble, Zurich, Lausanne). After 4 years of miserable grind in London, I knew this was the change I needed to have that inner state of happiness during my PhD. However, when the UK PhD offer came through, family pressure and the idea external image of success pushed me to accept. For the past year I have really tried to make it work, but despite this I still don’t have that inner happiness here. This leaves me with a difficult decision to make - do I continue on with the PhD potentially being internally unhappy for the duration (2.5 more years), or do I call it quits now, closing all the doors that might come from this PhD in the future in search for inner happiness? If you read all this and have any advice, do let me know :)

[@James_Hayton]

Does the unhappiness come from the PhD, or is the PhD just bringing it out in you? It might be worth finding a good therapist to help you figure things out (I tried a few I didn't get on with before I found a really good one for me). My first postdoc was in Grenoble... it's a great place but I still had my periods of depression there!

[@elevatenursing]

I have listened through and I relate with using this process as a distractor. It is closely similar to an experience in the masters program. Thank You for sharing!

[@experiencelife3237]

I suggest reading more philosophy, classic literature, and classic essays by great people -- basically to create a second intellectual dimension besides your research area -- of course, you won't be able to fully focus on the research, but it will balm the soul and life would be more bearable. This is at least true personally, who likes like literature, although not fiction.

[@cyprienguerrin6298]

What books do you recommend?

[@experiencelife3237]

@@cyprienguerrin6298 I think its personal taste, I've read from Archimedes to Orwell - basically, all the classics - Plato, Artistotle, Dante, Milton, Goethe, Newton, Gauss, Euler, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, John von Neumann, Descarte, and alike - basically, their memuars / autobiographies / notes and everythink how they thought and lived, not necessarily what they specifically contributed to philosophy or science.

[@Ayesha_11122]

I recommend this as well. 200%. I'm surviving and working through my PhD because of precisely this. Edit: To elaborate, my struggles with the PhD got me into psychology first and then the realm of existential psychology, which has roots in philosophy probably more than any other 'schools' of psychology. I started with Man's Search For Meaning (Viktor Frankl's) classic and that took me into this incredibly rich philosophical world. So, I have read some classics in this particular field and broadened my understanding of philosophy in general, but a lot of has been through engaging with contemporary literature. KZbin channels too- Two recommendations- Eric Dodson & his other lecture channel, and Emmy Van Deurzen who is a pioneer in this field (of existential psychology and psychotherapy) and also puts put her own videos that are so reassuring while simultaneously never failing to push for more resilience on our part.

[@experiencelife3237]

To get the idea: for example, if you need to write something - like a thesis, or a book, or an article - I tend to shift to reading classic literature, how they wrote, what they think of what is genius, what is the writing process, what is greatness in writing, what is the greatest style of writing, etc.; when I am concerned with exact thinking - I tend to read the greatest mathematicians, whether they have any insight how they arrive at ideas, what they think is a genius, who is the greatest mathematician, etc. Overall, with what I am concerned at present, I tend to draw or get consolation from the greatest in that domain -- they sort of become your intellectual friends (although dead).

[@experiencelife3237]

BTW: on youtube you can find "Nobel Minds" -- plenty of 40 min roundtable discussions with Nobel Laureates, giving advice on how they achieved what they achieved.

[@ajourneytogrowth]

An amazing video! It is really insightful to hear you talk about the mental sides of the journey and relate it back to the very reason we live

[@caiusKeys]

Totally had a breakdown after my PhD, and everything went pretty well. Anybody read _Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance_? It's about a philosophy PhD having a breakdown, so there's a pattern there.

[@James_Hayton]

I've heard of it but never read it. Hope you're doing better now!

[@caiusKeys]

@@James_Hayton Oh yeah! No worries, but it was a bit intense there for a while...

[@postnubilaphoebus96]

I would be interested in hearing about your last PhD year and how you pulled yourself back together, because I find/found myself in a similar situation right now. I studied humanities and decided I wasn't satisfied with the lack of rigor, so I took a fast-track program to switch to computer science / artificial intelligence. I am about to finish my master's thesis, but with some delay and having reached near-exhaustion a couple of times. I ended up choosing a paper to base my research on that was hard to reproduce because the author was not very transparent about the methods he used and the code was a mess. I also suffered from the loneliness of the corona crisis, not meeting any new people, let alone have a relationship for the last 3 years. I wish I would have known about ways to get through this time better; it was very stressful. I often felt like I did not deserve to have fun or enjoy time off because I didn't get any results. I wish I would have known techniques to help me through this time, and I reckon many others would benefit from hearing about how you got through the last year of your PhD, too. For me, this experience has turned me off going into academia. I want a regular job where I can go home and not think about work anymore. I have a genuine curiosity to discover new things, but I have plenty of other ways I can satisfy that, and my mental health and private life is more important to me.

[@James_Hayton]

This video covers some of it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pYO8mp6jo7mEfKc but of course there were some problems I didn't face (I wasn't doing my PhD during a pandemic, for a start).

[@thunderpizza22]

Please make more videos about this 6:30. Similarly I feel a distinct inner peace when writing my thesis (currently working on it this term). Despite what I said, replication of that feeling outside of writing has become overwhelmingly difficuly. It doesn't matter if it's research, I need to be invested in the project. Time and Energy matter significantly, too. The world moves so fast these days. It's hard to keep up with events that may morally require my attention, especially daily tasks that must be done. Needless to say I'm interested in how you've (and others) managed to overcome similar boundaries. thanks for reading

[@seangraham392]

NOIIICEEE! I have no PHD so didn't know what to expect but the bigger came through. Thank you. Will be following. ;)

[@JalalUdDin-fo5db]

Best guide! ❤ My favourite Doctor!

[@ssgtschilling]

Thank you, Dr. Hayton,

[@drzander3378]

I was surprised when I finished my doctorate by the ignorance of and the hostility from people who didn’t have one. My DPhil has generally only been valued by those who themselves have a doctorate or who tried in earnest to complete one.

[@jonathanmitchell8698]

I do think academia is also just kind of harmful to mental health for most people. We're told that you earn your place in academia, so there's always a pernicious fear that the attribute of "you" that makes you worthy of a place in academia is unstable or even absent. In undergrad I read a book called "The Gift" by Lewis Hyde, and I think it makes some good points about many (or most) of the things we value arising from something beyond our control. If you have something to contribute to academia, it is not "you" that makes it happen. It is organic process of self-unfolding. Personally, I think a lot of the flaws of academia are tied in capitalism.

[@tzvi7989]

Disagree. Not capitalism but actually workplace culture e.g. toxic personalities, nepotism, poor work life balance - expected of you by your superiors - etc.

[@tzvi7989]

Also definitely not due to capitalism as there wouldn't have been such a brain drain from the Soviet Union etc if it was. The US would've had to deal with that instead...

[@James_Hayton]

Even in good academic environments (they do exist!) a PhD can be incredibly stressful. I don't think you can entirely put it down to either the local environment or capitalism, but it seems like a PhD has a special mix of circumstances that add up in a stressful way. I'll do a video on this at some point...

[@leventejuhasz3492]

I agree that what i am seing at least around me in the swiss academic environment, is completely fake and unnatural and don't really see how it could be aligned with good mental health. It's true and a big advantage that academia gives you a much more flexible work life (for me even in phd although others would beg to differ...) but subconsciously i always felt (and i think many do) that most of modern academia is useless except for teaching students what is essential. To me, it just seems to be a giant l'art pour l'art pyramid scheme where you publish to get grants to publish to get another grant. And unless you make a super tiny cut to be professor, your salary is always (way) below industry standards and completely detached from reality. I know that still it's a good deal and desired life for many but in my opinion this feeling of being useless within a bubble definitely is a big friend of depression and anxiety. It's not the capitalism the problem, but the fact that science has been completely marketed and needs to be fancy, PC etc. Which dilutes the whole 'searching for the truth' classic scholar idea.

[@EL-ub2df]

I agree with your last statement

[@wearenotinocean]

This is some incredible stuff. Thanks for posting!

[@AkamiChannel]

Thanks for honestly sharing your story.

[@hilarymcdonagh6522]

Inner Engineering. Am submitting in three months. Could not have done it without Inner Engineering and am looking forward to working on my self more when I submit,

[@lowroar5127]

finishing a phd at 26, meanwhile me at 26 and can't finish a bachelor 😭😭

[@James_Hayton]

It's rarely such a simple comparison... I don't know your situation but I had a lot of luck in my favour and many people have things to deal with that I never had to face. I still nearly messed up my undergraduate degree, though.

[@newtdevaychet]

It took me forever too : ) you can do it!

[@gianni_drm]

Thanks sir, This great. Im going through the same pains now

[@Youtuber-sk8tg]

Thank you for sharing your journey. It is really helpful.

[@samouilmikael]

Grateful to you. Thank you

[@bassmannausaugsburg]

Mine, in humanities cost me about 6 years of salary at 100k plus per year so I am in the hole for almost 750K. If I had my time again, there is no way I would do a PhD. The mental anguish and financial impost was not, is not worth it. Mine cost me almost everything precious in life. A PhD is rewarding on some personal level, but most people really won't care. I would suggest one really evaluates their life and where they would like to be in 5 - 10 years before starting. And I mean write down anything and everything you would like to achieve. Where does a PhD fit with that list? If it is not at the top, by a significant margin, you may be asking for trouble embarking win the research journey. Most people start and don't finish. If they were easy, everyone would have one.

[@BsktImp]

Finishing my PhD was one of the biggest anticlimaxes and indeed [undertaking one] one of the worst life and career decisions I made. ☹

[@futurestar3348]

Why was it one of the worst career decisions?

[@jayslater7017]

This is kind of discouraging to be honest. What field was your PhD in?

[@James_Hayton]

Remember that the experience is very personal- for some people it's great. I often think of it like a relationship- some are good, some are bad. That there are lots of bad experiences doesn't mean yours will be, it depends on the circumstances!

[@pollybarto3718]

wait for more!

[@shimaalcarrim7949]

Thanks so much for this

[@daenerystargaryen]

How can you even get a PhD at 26?! Especially in physics. At my uni I can only progress to graduate studies after finishing masters which takes 5 years. Grad school is another 5 years, so if you do everything in time, are the best student, you'll be 28-29.

[@James_Hayton]

It's possible in the UK- Bachelors degree takes 3 years, Masters took 1 year, PhD took 4. Admittedly I was almost 27, but it's not so unusual in the UK

[@LaudvekkysGrooveLab]

This is what I'm going through right now smh

[@fraternallove4370]

Play at 1.25x speed

[@intuitivesurgeon9894]

Very wise words

[@aboladefalana8592]

I finished my PhD over 2 years in Nigeria, I'm still unemployed. It is more depressing to pass through great stress of having a PhD in Nigeria.

[@JagadishBehera95]

Good insights✌️

[@yash6560]

Would love to see this happen!

[@charlesodonnell2993]

My dissertation chair sabotaged my research.

[@anuragchakraborty8766]

Hi James, I finished my PhD in Mech. Engg. 10 months ago and can't find a PostDoc if my life depended on it. Would you mind taking a look at my Resume and give me your honest feedback?

[@James_Hayton]

I'm afraid I can't... if I gave feedback to everyone who asked then I'd never be able to do anything else. What I would suggest though is asking your old supervisor (or any other academic you know) to take a look. They've probably hired people before so will be able to give you some good feedback.

[@anuragchakraborty8766]

@@James_Hayton I understand. One of my difficulties has been my advisor doesn't have too many connections outside of his University ....so I'm pretty much on my own, when it comes to finding a Postdoc position (I was also his very first student). I would be grateful if you could let me know if you happen to know someone that might be looking to hire a Postdoc in ME. Thanks.

[@cryora]

Does your university have resources to help find positions after graduation? Have you considered a nonacademic route or work that you are not necessarily specialized in, but might be able to apply some of your Ph.D. knowledge to? If you're a ME you should know how to design and build robots and construction equipment and shit right? Maybe start your own business? Industry research jobs are not terrible common, compared to say IT or quality assurance, so you do need to demonstrate that you can bring value to the company worth what your expected salary will be. From an employer's perspective hiring a Ph.D. to do research work is relatively risky and maybe speculative. The whole purpose of writing a proposal is to convince sponsors that the proposed work will be worth the investment. Chances are that's something you're may have to continue to do as a Ph.D. even in industry.

[@christopherboydandmartinsc9322]

I’m 26, and am about to get my GED in February. I plan on going into psychology afterwards. Today, I have a tour at Purdue. I’ve struggled with severe OCD for years, and am currently in recovery. Mushrooms kickstarted my recovery. I want to write about my story and inspire hope to people. I’m on SSI, and want to get off of it. Will going for my PHD take up my entire life? Will I be able to pursue a relationship? I do not want to be alone forever. I’m ready to get my life going and together. I’ve came such a long way from the guy locked away in his room. I want to share my story to help people, but also want to have the life I want and deserve. I don’t know what else to do for a career. My story has written itself, and could benefit a lot of people struggling with similar issues. I want to stir up the field by writing about the potential psychedelics have for treatment resistant mental illness. I know it will cause controversy, but I’m living proof of the potential these substances can have, and I know people need to hear it. If it wasn’t for mushrooms, I would still be locked in a room, drinking heavily and doing endless rituals and compulsions. I wouldn’t have rescued my husky. I’ve changed so much and want to inspire hope. But I also want a life of my own more than anything. I know it’s kinda selfish but I’m ready for a romantic partner, and to finally start living life as well. Is it realistic to be able to juggle a PHD, and to also have my life on the side? Can they balance out reasonably? Keep in mind, I am on SSI currently for the OCD. So I don’t currently have a job or much else going on. I want to change this, but will going for this degree completely overwhelm me? I just want to live my best life while helping people, and to eventually meet a life partner.

[@James_Hayton]

if your goal is to share your story and to help people, you don't need a PhD. Do a PhD if you want to be a researcher, but otherwise I don't think it's the best idea. There are plenty of people researching psychedelics now for treatment of depression and other conditions, so if you're interested then you can talk to them and find out how to be involved in some way, but you don't have to dive straight into a PhD If you're currently getting your life together, stay on that path. Get yourself a job, make sure you have good social connections and are feeling stable. As for finding a romantic partner, I think you have to have a good relationship with yourself and other non-romantic connections first. You've clearly made some great strides and you've taken the first (and hardest) steps on the road to recovery. I wish you all the best!

[@christopherboydandmartinsc9322]

@@James_Hayton should I still go for a bachelors in psychology if I won’t necessarily get a masters or phd? Will it be a waste of time and money?

[@christopherboydandmartinsc9322]

@@James_Hayton actually, I think I will at least get my masters degree. There is plenty I can do with that degree. Thank you so much for your detailed and thoughtful reply.

[@James_Hayton]

Degrees don't solve problems! In the space of two comments you've gone from doubt about a bachelors to deciding you want a master's... but why? You say there's plenty you can do with it, but do you know that? Plenty of people do a masters because they're a bit lost assuming it will open doors, but often it doesn't. I'd really suggest talking to several people working in the field (in different jobs) you want to go into to find out what paths are available.

[@christopherboydandmartinsc9322]

@@James_Hayton well, I’d eventually like to have a career in something that I enjoy or can relate to/be productive in. I was wanting to possibly do forensic psychology, but like I said, I don’t know if committing all the time and money to a phd would be worth it in my experience. I want to eventually have a life, and if I can do that with a master’s degree, then I don’t see why I should go for the PhD. I don’t expect it to just magically solve all my problems. It’s something i just want to do. But I am gonna talk to a few people in the field starting tomorrow.

[@pleiades250]

hi there, could you share what worked for you in developing these positive attitudes towards your life?

[@James_Hayton]

There's a lot to it... this video gives a bit of an explanation kzbin.info/www/bejne/eWSTiGWaqrdlrpY

[@selfawarenesswithpatience]

Oh thanks for sharing your experiences with us, i felt completely what you felt during your PhD, bc usually I struggle with the same issues, I feel quite depressed..that's really hard, life is not easy at all, but I trying to feel good by taking care of me, like self-love and self-care.. but I there is still a problem for my academic journey, I would be greatfull if you could give me any advice, I'm 32 and I always took a break during my academic carrier when I feel depressed, and now I have master degree, I don't have any oppurtinity to do except academic and honestly I also don't like private sector to work, I love academic but I feel like I wasted my time, do you think it's too late for applying any PhD program in abroad, btw I'm from Turkey, live in my country? Do you think it's worth to apply any PhD programs in abroad? Btw living and studying in Italy is just my dream.. I would be so happy if you could give me any advice thanks.

[@James_Hayton]

I'd say the best thing would be to talk to the professors you worked with for your Masters degree. They'll be better placed to advise you whether or not you should do a PhD and how to apply for PhD positions within your field

[@mohammedalshalabi3122]

What is your specialization (which subject) ?

[@James_Hayton]

physics

[@lamson1990]

1. Don’t ever get back with the same girl.

[@James_Hayton]

I'd say she shouldn't have got back together with me! I hadn't really healed the things that undermined our relationship in the first place

[@wookiwoki6954]

The big picture is that PhD is a waste of time. Just refuse to do PhD at all and continue working. When enough people accept this mindset, this toxic system would fall apart itself. I have never understood how a PhD project differs from any other project or work that one does. The only difference is misery that people go through. IMHO, contemporary science has significant problems with 'official roadblocks', which are not working as intended. The major ones are PhD and peer review. Science should be basically free; i.e., anyone can just write an article and post it for others to judge, instead of collecting useless degrees, statuses etc. I believe that nearly everyone in science would agree that scientists with and without PhD are indistiguishable. Then why waste years of your life?

[@James_Hayton]

Wow... you had a bad experience then? Doesn't mean it's the same for everyone. The system has it's problems and a lot of people do PhDs for the wrong reasons (then find it almost impossible to walk away), but that doesn't mean we should burn the whole system down. More people need to be informed about what it's like and there needs to be more accountability for supervisors, but it can be a great thing to do. I have no regrets about doing one!

[@inChristwithGod]

I am currently in a PhD program and the first two years of my PhD were the most horrible years of my life. Hoeever, I look back and I am filled woth gratitude for the experiences that I have had so far while anticipating what the future holds for me as I move towards the completion of the program. In all of these, I'd choose to do a PhD over and over because theres no other life activity that will give you the experience you get from doing a PhD!

[@jmonie02]

I get anxiety thinking about getting one.

[@James_Hayton]

But do you also want to do one?

[@drissesbien1009]

Where you in Grenoble ?

[@James_Hayton]

yes! I worked at CEA

[@drissesbien1009]

@@James_Hayton Oh nice! I spent two years in Grenoble for my Engineering degree. Hope you had time to enjoy the hikes and the raclette :)

[@James_Hayton]

I did indeed!

[@azerack955]

May I ask what you got your PhD in?

[@James_Hayton]

Physics

[@rajaniram5552]

I'm just stuck with the work I'm not sure whether I'm doing it correctly or not

[@ud1819]

I feel you. But make the best possible use of the resources. Find tutorials on KZbin. Find papers that report similar if not same methodology. Ask on research gate. No method is best and no research is absolutely flawless. Just give your best in doing it. All the best.

[@James_Hayton]

Are you getting any feedback from anyone?

[@rajaniram5552]

@@ud1819 thanks uzma.. I'm trying all the things and of course will check research gate

[@rajaniram5552]

@@James_Hayton nope... They just ask me to try different methods but nothing firm

[@rajaniram5552]

@@James_Hayton nope, if they give they just ask me try many methods which absolutely no one is sure of.. Time flies by trying

[@Pakuna]

Dude.. you just reinvented stoicism.. Marcus Aurelius wrote a book called Meditations about it almost 2k years ago. Should have read the right books while going for your PhD

[@James_Hayton]

Reading the right books is the easy part... living it is another matter! I read meditations a few years back but sometimes the lessons don't stick

[@armand5254-m7k]

Nowadays, many PhD graduates are struggling to find a job even a postdoc. It was not like that 10 years ago. It look like PhD is loosing it value over the years. May be it will be good to create a new more valuable degree above the PhD.

[@James_Hayton]

I hope nobody invents a higher degree than a PhD!

[@shadowrealm8937]

phd in what

[@James_Hayton]

Physics

[@Arkansya]

the downs are what Karl Marx describes as work alienation

[@James_Hayton]

I just read up on this quickly... while I agree that it's a disconnection from human nature, I don't think the cause he describes (it being a consequence of the division of labor and living in a society of stratified social classes) applies in my case. I actually benefit a lot from the system (fairly or otherwise), I don't have a boss and I have a lot of freedom. Entirely possible I've misunderstood what he was saying, though

[@WalayatFamily]

Its a scrap of paper, you can do youtube videos just as well without it.

[@James_Hayton]

Not sure what you mean... I wouldn't call my PhD just a scrap of paper, and I wouldn't be able to do the work I do without it (KZbin is a tiny fraction of what I do). With that said, I could have just as good a life without a PhD, it'd just be different.

[@jayslater7017]

@@James_Hayton what field was your PhD in?

[@James_Hayton]

Experimental physics (specifically nanoscience, working with scanning probe microscopes mainly)