How growing up with alcoholism affected Johnny Knoxville

[@hillpunk92]

respect too knoxville for being so open.

[@jarlwhiterun7478]

To*

[@jonraymond]

@@jarlwhiterun74782*

[@nicandromartinezsotelo3300]

the vulnerability and emotional struggle while he speaks with such candor... it takes a lot of courage

[@gary_beniford]

You can debate this man's ideas but you cannot doubt his courage 😂

[@nicandromartinezsotelo3300]

@gary_beniford ... Pun intended

[@ryanjacobson2508]

What he's talking about is disassociating as a coping mechanism. It's something that people in extremely stressful environments often learn to do. However, it seems like those who grew up in abusive homes are particularly prone to "shutting down" (disassociating) as a response to stress.

[@RestedDurrow]

100% correct

[@lmpnchi9416]

Also fight, flight or freeze

[@internziko]

Neal"s out here having real conversations with these folks. Keep it up bro!

[@Nixo66]

Ignore the bullshit comments. You’re doing a good thing with this. These interviews have substance. People have problems and it’s nice to hear your not the only one

[@74GenX]

Those of us who have lived it, done the work in therapy and can relate to the difficulties of communicating our wants, needs and feelings completely agree. Our society should stop pretending and have more conversations like this.

[@allanmoore3610]

Gay

[@74GenX]

@@allanmoore3610 you should fit in fine in today's society being gay.

[@annb2045]

Congratulations on coming out! I am so happy for you. Be you, be gay!

[@alnibodycare]

Yes I love these and think his podcast is so unique. Keep it up Neal!

[@Moshka627]

The first time my husband and I had a fight, he stormed off to work and when he got home my bags were packed because I thought a fight meant death of the relationship. He was stunned bc I grew up in toxicity w an alcoholic father and he grew up in a stable situation and never saw his parents fight. It took a long time to really grasp the impact growing up in that environmenthad on my adult relationships. It’s really tough and I appreciate this conversation.

[@allanmoore3610]

I'm sure being ugly didn't help your situation

[@internziko]

Wow! Almost the same situation here. For the first 3 years of me and my wifes marriage whenever we'd fight I'd just assume we we're getting divorced. She finally sat me down one day and said "just cause we have an argument doesn't mean we're gonna break up) and i just started crying like a toddler. Lol. I told her whenever my mom and dad would argue one of them would always leave for days (sometimes weeks)

[@jarlwhiterun7478]

You sound like a bad and weak person to have done that

[@Moshka627]

@@internziko Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have a good, solid woman who loves you.

[@smallfaucet]

Oh boo frakking hoo.

[@TheOriginalBlackBradPitt]

Man I can’t describe how much I connect with this

[@aaronvanzile3824]

I literally had to pause, every ten seconds, because I didn't hear what they were saying, because I was too busy saying out loud 'that's exactly fucking right. That's exactly exactly exactly it.'

[@mrbrianoblivion]

Same here

[@Maniqeng]

Sad you had to experience this. hope talks like this podcast helps you in some way

[@alexanderespinoza]

I walked on eggshells my entire childhood but thankfully I was able to get through that and talk openly with people now. It’ll take time but you can do it.

[@mrbrianoblivion]

@@alexanderespinoza I second this, it takes time to work out how it has affected you but its possible and satisfying to get through it and rise above

[@mrshou112]

My dad has BPD and narcissism (borderline personality disorder) and growing up with him as a child was insanity. Imagine having a toddler as a parent (emotionally). He'd be love bombing you one minute, then the next screaming or gas lighting. Everything was always at a ten. When he was happy, he was super happy and loving. When he was angry, he was a nightmare to be around. There was never any stability as he'd sway back and forth from one extreme to the other. Add alcohol into the equation and he got even worse. You aren't alone out there anyone who's living with similar circumstances.

[@2fAce619]

I grew up in a super similar situation, glad to hear I wasn’t the only one

[@woodeymaynard7711]

Ty for sharing. You described my father and what I experienced spot on. I survived, and I have CPTSD, on SSI, struggle with basic friendships. It was a war living with him.

[@ginoiseau]

WOW. That is it. I had toddlers as parents.

[@jasonfromattleboro]

Do you have any proof to support your allegations against your father?!

[@animtonni]

Fucking hell... I do the shutting down thing, I never thought about it being connected to my alcoholic parents... Great interview man

[@terrapinflyer273]

I do as well. Both my parents were (/are) alcoholics and things got crazy (to put it very lightly...). My brother has been going to therapy for some years now. And what bothers me the most is when he comes at me with issues about me. I shut down mid-conversation and he points out that I'm dissociating. Like I create this empty room for myself in my mind. Still present and listening, but unable to speak or respond to difficult topics or questions concerning me and my behavior, whatever you want to call it. Then, someone points out that I'm dissociating and it's like they broke through my defense matrix. "Oh, you can see me?? Wtf. I'm even less safe now!"

[@jasonfromattleboro]

@@terrapinflyer273Trump 2024 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@ryangraham6393]

You can really see this hit hard for him, you could tell by his tone of voice, his body language and facial expressions, such a different side that you rarely see from Johnny..

[@MartyFreeze]

It wasn't until my divorce that I realized how bad my childhood had been and how I had developed bad habits to cope with it. Here's to us all getting a little better and healthier every day!

[@MomCatMeows]

Good for you! Your next relationship will probably be much healthier! 😊

[@Ottophil]

same

[@ST-rj8iu]

the hardest part of self-improvement is self-awareness. It can take years to realize how abuse affects you because you never had a "you" before the abuse.

[@allanmoore3610]

Don't blame being a terrible husband on you childhood. Man up and stop blaming others for your weakness

[@MartyFreeze]

@@allanmoore3610 Allan, I was a horrible husband because as a child I didn't learn how to communicate in a healthy manner and avoided conflict. So I can now confidently say this: Shut up. It's not about blame, it's about realizing why you are the way you are so you can improve yourself. Telling someone to "man up" just continues the cycle of abuse.

[@37Kilo2]

Pretty much my childhood, but there was no alcohol involved. He was just an angry, miserable person who took out that anger on the family. As soon as we heard the door opening at night, we knew Dad was home, and everyone would hide in their rooms. My siblings and I are still struggling with the trauma decades later. Multiple divorces among us; I avoid relationships altogether, it's just easier.

[@aliofly]

Very sorry to hear that

[@alexanderespinoza]

condolences

[@rmkensington]

You can be the change your father was not. Hang in there bro

[@spearson103]

Well it sounds like it showed you the right path. It's the modern concept of relationships that drive people to madness

[@WoodyBReal]

Same for me but it didnt start getting bad until my older sisters left the house, so then they dont see it the same and think im the problem and not our dad

[@selmonpogba6080]

When Johnny talks about ‘shutting down. Going quiet!’ It hit me like a brick. F**k that’s how i still react in certain rare situations :(

[@tituslowman5957]

Was about to say that…

[@nedmacallen]

Every person needs to hear this and realize it. Relationships are hard work. Communication and appreciation are everything.

[@austinrhoads]

Wow this is so relatable. I would have panic attacks just because I knew he was coming home. My father wasn't an alcoholic and didn't have a "good side" but he was an angry bastard and we were always on edge when he got home until we knew he went into his bedroom for good.

[@_NoDrinkTheBleach]

Growing up in a household that went from zero to a thousand in a split second, I can relate to the shutting down thing. It's rough. The people who care about me most, pick up on it very quickly, and always ask me if I'm okay. I don't know if it's something I'll ever truly break free from. It's just always been easier for me to mentally remove myself from a situation than to deal with it.

[@ryanjacobson2508]

I get similar reactions. Some people just don't understand that we adapt to handling things a certain way based on our past history. If you grew up in a family where you felt uneasy and off-balance because of abuse or neglect, you learned to just shut off to try and numb yourself to a difficult situation. And that ends up sticking to you for a long time. If a person or situation is troubling you, or the pressure is buidling, just shut off.

[@ginoiseau]

The 'never saw anything get resolved' was a huge one, I now realise. The last unnecessary knock down drag out fight, just gets swept under the carpet. Then the next one starts. I think my parents were screaming at each other every night.

[@bobklein7366]

Thank you Johnny for making me realize I am not the only one to experience these situations.

[@ericg1100]

Blown away by knoxvilles emotional intelligence

[@Nora-rb6tr]

i was raised by 2 alcoholics and everything Johnny is saying is spot-on. Im glad he spoke bc i feel better articulating my problems with others, especially with being open to my partner and close ones.

[@throwback19841]

its difficult and different for everyone. my dad was an alcoholic, he was never mean or nasty or violent to any of us but he wasnt all there and was withdrawn and would avoid any contact that would make it obvious he was drunk and was absent in the marriage with my mother even though they would be in the same room. it was very low key and subtle and hard to complain about because there were no arguments, no fights, no bruises, just emotional absence and it taught me to be very closed and distant and secretive too.

[@therideneverends1697]

I think the term your looking for is "emotional neglect"

[@LachlanBennett-f8t]

These convos feel like therapy. I can’t express how comforting this pos has been for me - the levity surrounding dark circumstances has really allowed me to dig deeper into my own experiences. Thank you :)

[@FloodedWithGems]

this was great. 4 years of the sauce and every time is see my little boy is another reminder that he will never see that version of me. much love to anyone going through it.

[@jasonk876]

I went to school with PJ (Johnny Knoxville). I had no idea his father was an alcoholic. I think its great that he is willing to talk about this.

[@kellitrevino650]

This hit. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@Sosi288]

My father wasn't an alcoholic, but he was kind of a rage-a-holic, don't know if that's a thing, anyway, he would always yell and have fits of rage about everything and anything. Till this day I have adrenaline spikes everytime I have to deal with confrontation, wich has cost me relashionships and jobs... it sucks. But I'm working on it.

[@alivonal7442]

Oh man it’s like you’re describing me. My dad was like that too. Just any little thing could make him become the devil himself. The way I coped with him was to turn inward and hide from everyone. When things got real, I’ve always ran away. Never dealt with things the correct way. I’m in my mid to late 40s now, and my dad’s been dead for a while and I’m just now seeing how much he messed me up.

[@AnthonyColomboAppliedMath]

Avoidant personality disorder. Definitely relate

[@HOLDSWATH]

Oh wow, thank you for putting this into words. I grew up with an alcoholic father as well. The "shutting down" was an issue for years, therapy has helped a ton. "just gotta learn not to make it harder" ❤

[@steveg4082]

0:08 “Avoids confrontation in personal relationships” as a result of growing up in an alcoholic family. 💯🎯. So that’s why 🤯 my ~fiancé dumped me 💔suddenly, despite no fights or dissatisfactions. Us two adult children of alcoholics avoided confrontation until one of us couldn’t take it anymore. 🙅‍♀️😭

[@cricket12ish]

stonewalling/silent treatment is so abusive. i had a mother that would stonewall me as a kid and it would drive me mad

[@TheTsunamijuan]

These are great videos with Johnny. They are open, caring, and touch on real issues. That many of us can related too. Its nice seeing people be honest and vulnerable about their lives, and mistakes and way they handle it. It certainly gives me a new level of respect for him. Plus i think its fantastic seeing many of the people from jackass put real perspective on things. Rather than just we're having fun being dicks to each other all day. The comment of "I don't want to see a friend or someone I care about do a dangerous stunt", really hit home for me. Plus you do a great job of curating this Neal!

[@punkmusiclessons]

"people who grew up the way we grew up have never seen things peacefully resolved"

[@Ronsino.]

Neal I really REALLY like this and Knoxvilles interview really made me pay attention. This rings true to my past life and in ways some current struggles I deal with. It is nice to hear others speak on problems I feel relate to myself. Thank you for pushing the interview, some may see it as interruption but you didn't do it to interject your own story. Just to help move the conversation and support the emotional side.

[@rancher12121]

I'm old now, all my life, i understood how lucky i was to have a perfect dad, after listening to this, I'm more thankful

[@RTF1886]

So very true. I went through the same thing with my mum

[@chillmurray7529]

I like this, I connect with this, keep it up guys you’re doing a great thing

[@WolfgangWhyte]

Nowhere to run, and nobody's going to save you... and if you run away, you're BIGgest fear is what happens when the people you run to bring you right back to where it all started. Jeez... I'm 55 years old, and just listening to this has sent me into a spin. F@%#

[@lisabyrne9513]

I’m estranged from both of my parents. I have a serious illness that fuses my joints together & is incredibly painful. My mother was so violent, I used to leave the house in the middle of the night and go to my grandmas. My parents knocked the crap out of each other.She’s an alcoholic with BPD and my father is a gambler who just lies and would purposely set my mother off. I learned that was gaslighting years later. I’ve tried to take my life and meant it but it was because of my illness. I have a wonderful husband and I felt guilty that he has to take care of me. I thought it would be better if he could start fresh. I learned in therapy that I have no self esteem from my parents and cutting off a relationship is not the answer to problems. Obviously taking my life is the ultimate cut off. I was told I have ptsd. I’m Irish so that’s a hard one. I only heard of that in documentaries about soldiers. I love Knoxville. And fun fact, I met him. Myself, my husband and friends are on the dvd extras for Jackass 3 in Whelans pub, Dublin Ireland. He’s a gem 💎 ❤

[@jasonfromattleboro]

Why would a Pub allow a Cat into their establishment?

[@bricianmcwilliams2839]

This interview is awesome.

[@IndustrialFan666]

I feel this one heavy. The turbulence is insane. I had a dry alcoholic dad so I relate to a heavy extent

[@ST-rj8iu]

what do you mean "dry alcoholic"

[@jarlwhiterun7478]

? Throwing terms out here with zero explanation

[@derekcline950]

​@ST-rj8iu It is pretty much what it sounds like. Basically an alcoholic who sobers up without really dealing with the underlying issues. They're still a raging alcoholic, they just aren't drunk.

[@shustyrackleford_710]

​@ST-rj8iu dry meaning not drinking Alcoholic is an alcoholic, drinking or not Other diseases like schizophrenia, you might say someone is schizophrenic if they're experiencing certain symptoms or exhibiting certain behaviors, but alcoholism is something you have for the rest of your life. Recovery is a daily practice

[@derekcline950]

@shustyrackleford_710 That's not quite right. Dry alcoholic and recovering alcoholic aren't the same. 30 years sober, you might still be an alcoholic but you aren't a dry alcoholic. I've only ever heard dry alcoholic refer to someone who is sober but is either not seeking treatment or just started treatment. Dry alcoholics are angry, depressed, has mood swings, possibly going through withdrawals, etc

[@TheSilentBobby]

It is heartbreaking to hear just how much how often and how long Mr.Knoxville walked on eggshells as a child .

[@robertlevasseur6843]

I did not grow up with an alcoholic father yet his coming home from work was identical to what was described here. I as a kid responded in the same way as Johnny did. I have been dealing with that ever since.

[@harleybqrazy]

Both my parents were alcoholics and I was an only child so felt totally alone. Relate to Johnny HARD.

[@ROOKTABULA]

You're lucky John. My old man was a clinical psychopath who started physically and emotionally abusing me at 20 months, which I remember, until 2 attempts on my life at 37. Everyone would ask if he was an alkie but the fact was, the rate time he had a few drinks, he was great. He finally died in spring

[@DurkMcGerk]

I'm sorry you dealt with that. It's tempting to think that somebody else's trauma might not compare. It's not a leaderboard, we all want to heal.

[@jasonk876]

He was a kid and you were a kid. Neither of you were lucky. Have some respect.

[@VitaKet]

Man I had respect for Knoxville before... but damn. I love him now.

[@emeral311]

Agreed. I don't follow him constantly but watching his growth is incredible.

[@Aric_KC]

Damn. Same story here and very similar sentiments. Crazy how identical our issues are.

[@jamesdelcol3701]

When I recognized it in me, I had to stop drinking. I was going to fail out of school.

[@RobertBitzer]

I love the emotional STD comment... Never heard of that one, Neal! Trauma.... The gift that keeps on giving!

[@gotohell316]

"I've just gotta learn not to make them harder"

[@zacharybinx5443]

My step-dad was the exact same way. I didn't want to have friends over or girlfriends or go on trips with them. I relate to the bad confrontation habits, too. It's really hard for me to do my job where I have to manage people and go behind and make sure they do their jobs correctly which can feel like your walking on eggshells.

[@emeraldent]

great pod!

[@austincde]

Never seeing an example of conflict resolution is so real 💀 you just feel like you're walking on eggshells for eternity, and then it just ruins the rest of your relationships because you're either scared they're mad at you or angry that they're not 😂

[@ramcharger154]

I didn't grow up with alcoholic parents but I guess it skipped over both my parents because both my grandads could really pack it away. Mostly moms dad. And that is why I brought my alcoholic self to show and tell today!!❤❤😂😂😮😢

[@tallyholightguy5353]

I felt like I was in that room talking with you guys with the similar experiences

[@rubberbiscuit99]

This is a conversation about childhood trauma and the resulting Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's an epidemic from what I see in my daily life, and I'm working on my own C-PTSD. Highly recommend the difficult but rewarding book: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, by the amazing Pete Walker. All the best to all my fellows.

[@neilmanganaro8888]

Boy do I understand what he means. Much love.

[@Alaskan-Armadillo]

I really appreciate how Johnny Knoxville is so open about his recovery but to be honest I always felt that Jackass was less of a prank show but more of a group of men taking out their unresolved trauma on one another in the name of entertainment.

[@jamesmurray3889]

My dad drank all the time and he was the sweetest man who ever lived.

[@uns33n]

Sometimes those are the worst ones because they don't hit rock bottom so they never sober up and it kills them. Plus people think alcoholism is ok because of the way it affected him. My stepbrother was like that until he died of sepsis before 60

[@BulyssesBwachowski]

@@uns33nsuper well observed my friend. Drinking heavily is bad, period, even if you can “handle it well” or whatever

[@purplestuff]

So what?

[@JezelJordan]

Alcohol is like money, it doesn't make people bad but it reveals who they are. The nicest people are often nicer when they're drunk, and seemingly-nice people with a dark side often let that dark side come out when drunk

[@mrshou112]

@@uns33n Yezzir. My aunt is in her mid 60's and drinks a handle of vodka every 3 days. She always kept a job, paid her bills and was liked by people. She's a shell of her former self though. A once really smart and caring woman is now resigned to being this numbed out out of touch with reality person. Body is falling apart and she couldn't care less. It's depressing and awful.

[@margaretlovecchio8316]

They’re describing childhood Complex Trauma 😢

[@kitbeaman]

Shout out to the crappy childhood fairy

[@margaretlovecchio8316]

@@kitbeaman shout out to Tim Fletcher (Canadian) & Patrick Teahan (US) both channels are excellent

[@theoneanton]

​@@margaretlovecchio8316Patrick's channel is top-tier YT awesomeness

[@dianarose33]

I was maybe 14/15 when jackass came out and as a young girl I could tell Knoxville was a bit gentler than the rest. It’s just something u pick up on in mannerisms and interactions- especially in a patriarchal society and on that show. Not surprised he’s super sensitive!

[@browndamon]

Appreciate the vulnerability here 💪🏾

[@CountDankula0]

Wow this is deep hits close to home

[@peyotecody]

Whoa! Thanks for this. Same going on with me. Salute!

[@seebarry4068]

Yeah, things never got resolved when I was younger, and I avoid it as an adult. I hate confrontation, and I worry about repercussions. In my 50s, alcoholic parent.

[@ym2173]

Good work

[@jackcunningham5168]

Neil you’re amazing

[@AG-iu9lv]

Married to an alcoholic, yeah this is my life. And they blame you.

[@sethhornaday5943]

The only reason I drink is this burning, I never grew up with alcoholics, I was driven to drink with this awakening and this broken neck ,

[@55tmilam]

My father used to beat my mother and I can relate exactly to what Johnny is talking about!

[@anyamardy5556]

Hey there Neal, can you tell us what book that was, about anger? Pretty please!

[@kirstinline]

my dad's an alcoholic and made my childhood a misery. i cant stand him.

[@freddyheadbite3084]

Hmh.. I actually thougt it was Jamie Lee Curtis. Just for a few seconds😅

[@victoriaman117]

What do you mean, kids don't love an environment permeated with hostility and uncertainty.

[@briantracy5529]

Truth.

[@michaelbecht7556]

Its called adult children of alcoholics Its a mother f

[@whatgodeats666]

Anyone feeling like that have some kind of PTSD from an “emotional combat zone “ just know your feelings are valid . Just because you haven’t been in a real combat zone doesn’t mean you haven’t been through “ the shit “

[@SDHoF]

No, no, a real combat zone, what with the getting shot at and your friends bleeding out in your arms and the complete chaos, is WAY fucking worse than being a sad and anxious when someone raises their voice, actually. ✋🏻✋🏻Here's two hands to make patting yourself on the back just a little bit easier going forward, though.

[@whatgodeats666]

@@SDHoF I was talking about other people TF do you know about what I’ve personally been through? Keep those two hands ….to cover your eyes with and hide behind. Someone that’s really been through combat doesn’t have to hop in a comment section to interject themselves in something that has nothing to do with them . Medically the brain doesn’t care where you got the trauma from … it’s still trauma

[@SDHoF]

@@whatgodeats666 There's no fucking way I'm reading all that when I know I'm already right, thank you though brother

[@rashidareeves78]

So an ETD (emotionally transmitted disease).

[@HENDRIX2099]

There's no where to run indeed!

[@ce7406]

knoxville doing THERAPY rupert if u were HERE...

[@irfuben32]

When two therapists take mushrooms

[@hilpei3675]

Yup... been there.... know it well. Still untangling all the tangles. Disconnect -- insecure attachement as a baby and young child, know that well too.

[@reallytho99]

Neal, get that HITTER

[@ADHDMartialArtsFiend-vw3fj]

I grew up with a bipolar kinda maybe narcissistic dad so I guess I can relate to the alcoholic dad. Basically I'm really stoic and then I'm ready for war. But getting better at that. Not that anybody asked. Not sure why we comment on here thinking it's a community.

[@macrosense]

He has done much better than me. But Ma was the alcoholic

[@GTORT]

He kinda looks like Jaime Lee Curtis

[@Ali-e5h1b]

5:40 - That's a lot of progress.

[@billbeam5063]

There's a reason alcohol has been referred to as "spirits".....it opens a door to some incredibly dark energy. Speaking from experience.

[@SUPER_WOLFMOON]

Realizing it's not good that I'm always telling my kids, when they are distraught, "You'll be fine. It's okay. Don't worry. Calm down. It's not that bad. We can fix this. Hold on, stop, you're doing too much." My household origins were always about avoidance. There was no complaining, or I'd be given something to complain about. Thank God I have a spouse who was raised in a healthy environment. It's strange to think that, for me, when there is conflict, I go into a freeze mode most of the time. It's not really fight or flight like some people say. It's like watch, listen, stay still and then maybe eventually react. I usually will only react quickly if someone else is in danger. If it's me, I just stick it out, see what happens. Wonder if that's a product of a certain kind of upbringing?

[@brookenicole7209]

Is it an angry shutdown or hurt shutdown? (One can only ask if they did their own therapy homework)

[@lorenzo-in-tokyo]

whats with the annoying ding and the scrolling text? its a huge distraction

[@85MAYS]

Knoxville more like truthsville

[@jonathanparenteau8194]

God this guy is a terrible interviewer. Can't get through this and I love Knoxville interviews.

[@trailingupwards]

It doesn't matter if you've had 400 concussions, and your Dad was a drunk. If you are 53 and you have a perfect hairline, you win at life.

[@MarvinMonroe]

Are the concussions catching up with Johnny? I don't remember him always speaking like this. Kinda slurring his words

[@The_kookclub]

I accidentally shot my father.

[@jasonbrophy7921]

Like being in Yemen?you need to go to Yemen

[@coltoncalkins]

I can’t really follow what Johnny was saying … I don’t think he really knows what he’s talking about

[@rhino5100]

You were probably raised in an environment where the adults were mature and psychologically healthy enough to properly care for you. If you have no idea what he's talking about then you are a very blessed and lucky person.

[@wintergarden7539]

My entire life is shut down. And I don't intend to change that. I don't have to. Don't let anyone tell you how to live. THEY didn't experience the alcoholic's abuse like you did. You cope in your own way. There is no right or wrong way.

[@ParkerPPipe]

I bet all the people in Yemen really appreciate being compared to having a drunk as a dad. These celebrity therapy podcast blow…..hard

[@joem-ro8lb]

It’s better to be an alcoholic than an allah terrorist.

[@denofcool]

Knoxville doesn’t sound good in this interview, healthwise. You can really hear all those concussions when he talks. He sounds a little slow and labored with his speech.