How Harmful Emotional Neglect & Abuse Really Is? - Riri G Trivedi - Raj Shamani

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About Raj Shamani
Raj Shamani is the Founder Of Figuring Out Media and House of X. He's an Entrepreneur, Content Creator, Investor, and a Renowned Keynote Speaker. Raj has emerged as one of the Youngest Influencers in the Indian creator economy.
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[@srishtipramod6035]

In my observation, a lot of indian parents suffer themselves because they never got the required attention from their parents, and somehow end up expecting their children to provide them with that attention, which they were supposed to give their kids. We cannot even blame our parents, because mostly they are victims too. And neither can we invalidate or undermine the suffering it causes their children emotionally. For those of you finding yourselves commenting here that this behaviour is displayed by your parents, I am with you all too. My heart goes out for all who's been experiencing this. I hope you find something that works for you best in dealing with these issues.

[@anshikanagar9522]

I agree. Our parents try their best to cut out the thing they suffered from. You can not expect anyone to become a perfect person suddenly when they are already suffering from society. At the end all they want is our best beyond their comfort. They knows reality. Obviously we can not justify emotional abuse.

[@nya9134]

Generational trauma

[@buddhprakashshukla8818]

doesn't justify anything

[@pratikhyasasmal2394]

i kind of disagree. Parents are adults themselves. If they wanted to change they would have. Simple.period. trauma exist but with effort the trauma one endured should be stopped crom perpetuating. Thats what is talked about breaking the pattern

[@vedashreeteli6658]

Heart go out krke kuch nhi Hota 🙂

[@okay_januu]

To my future baby, I promise I will be a better Mom. I will never hurt your soul. ❤

[@pardonmy_existence]

To do that You will have to Have to heal yourself and work on your own mental health Get therapy Otherwise you will eventually becom like your parents and then,you will end up hating yourself Trust me If you think you should have been treated differently Then you definitely work on your past traums and heal yourself to become what you desire

[@abhishekbahukhandi9963]

​@@pardonmy_existence everybody should go to therapy?? You can never be perfect

[@Ashleysarash]

😂😂😂 tujhse shaadi Kar hi kon raha hai

[@mulhidq6734]

Najuk bache paida karne ki ninja technique hau ye. Chinese army mein isi tarah ke najuk soldiers hai.

[@giftcards9111]

Don't have kids that will be best

[@Optimistic_aspirant]

Millennials should be awarded for surviving all these. We were nagged by everyone- parents, teachers, relatives. Aaj kal fir v log thode considerate hein and aware hein mental health ke baare mein.

[@kameshpickls]

She shared my past till now. Even though I didn't met her yet.

[@srishtipramod6035]

You probably have a narcissist for parent.

[@kameshpickls]

@@srishtipramod6035 Yes,you are right. My dad.

[@srishtipramod6035]

@@kameshpickls my mom

[@akankshasingh-eo8kx]

Same Mera bhi Ab muje koi achcha nhi lagta hai Pure life time maine yahi suna hai Chahe Mai kitna bhi kyu na kar lu Sab mil kar muje hi galat thahra dete hai

[@sakchisingh7769]

She is bang on!!! It is exactly what has taken toll on my mental health and now i have anxiety issues and suicidal behaviour.

[@poonam1860]

Mere parents v aise hi the... Aise me mujhe ye lgne lga ki dusro ko khus krne se appreciation milega aur mujh me self confidence ki kami aa gyi.. ab whi parents bolte h tu khud se kuch nhi krti koi decision nhi khud se nhi leti...

[@unforgettxxle]

This is so true I love my mum but very sadly I have to accept today that many a times actually almost on a daily basis she tells me stuff which really hurts me and pierces my heart and I could never forget such words😢😢

[@nallaprakash7843]

With me it has been even worse...But its my patience and strength that keeps me going

[@utopiangirl1550]

My mother do this to me every day, every hour, every second. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty if I say something to her and she starts crying. She says I am useless, lazy, always compare me with others even a child. I tell her that what she says is not the right way to tell something and ut hurts me but she completely ignore my words and start finding my weakness and blame me for every single problem in our family which I don't even know about. If anyone in my family gets sick its my fault because I am so manhoos. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty every single day and feel suffocated.

[@rosebelle-tk6xd]

She is just projecting her insecurities on you. I guess she was treated the same way by her mother. Patience . Never hate yourself because of other people

[@Bakasta170]

Try to move out of that place, nobody deserves to live in this constant abusive environment, find a college/job far from home so you can move away from home Also stop seeking her validation as she will always find a weak point in you and you'll always remain unappreciated, not because she hates you but that's the only way she knows, So, instead make your own goals and try to grade yourself according to your own

[@VihaanJyohar]

Nobody knows the correct way to teach a child. Sometimes blackmail only will help.. small batterles r won. Still better than physical abuse..

[@chetnasisodia2058]

​@@Bakasta170Right .......a practical solution

[@Anantinfinit]

Manhoos?? Really, that's very low.

[@annerockstar9851]

My dad . When i was in 6th grade he suddenly started to say i am gonna fail . That was almost 10 years ago , i still have anxiety.

[@ayeshaasre]

When I was little, I didn't study, so my mom used to tell me that in the future I wouldn't be able to read well. And now, I get very scared to read in front of the whole class, even though I can read correctly.

[@kameshpickls]

Us bhai us.

[@S8444]

even i have anxiety issues coz of my parents

[@nobody_knows536]

​@@ayeshaasre to isme galti kiski hai?? Khud padhai mt kro aur parents kuch bol de to unki galti ho gyi? Wah kya logic hai😂😂

[@thelasttimeiwasherewas17]

I once said to my dad- I did not want to do medicine...he said- the what will you do in life then? Do jharu pocha in someone's house....💔....that was 12 yrs ago....I can't forget...

[@meghnabiswal2391]

Yes it's absolutely right, but a few people understand the problem 😢

[@Uniquepuzzle24]

Mai sochti thi ki log in sb chijo pr b dhyan de mere sath bachpan se yhi hua h and finally aap bol rhi h mem is topic pe❤

[@Anjalisingh-on9bt]

She is absolutely right

[@bhagyajinna3160]

#wewantjustice✊✊

[@laljimeena1365]

Honestly that women is soooo right like I went through this tbh that was my whole childhood 😂😅....

[@jabiryadav2490]

My mother do this 😢😢

[@akshatanaik5447]

Still suffering because of emotional abuse in my childhood. 😥

[@dheerajaggarwal8122]

Now I understand things. Thanks mam ❤

[@dr.amolabhyankar2312]

Now a days parents pamper their children a lot and parents are afraid of their children

[@kashish1735]

I've seen days when my parents say YOU'RE A LOOSER YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING IN LIFE LOOK AT YOUR FRIENDS And somehow that has made me more depressed then breakups or fights Emotional abuse, feeling neglected takes a toll on you ngl Sometimes i even get suicidal thoughts

[@Hehehehe230]

I wont blame mom for that, she did well, i didnt go to depression but tried improving for mom, she does so much for us, cant we just listen to her? Why her nagging is called as mental abuse? I would always hate to hear this in media😢

[@maasoomahabdul8872]

I agree

[@stronggirl5]

Maam 99% professionally bilkul correct hai

[@namratagogoi2763]

Too much pamapering is also bad. I have seen chidren who are too pampered can't deal with even an iota of criticism. They are so dependent on their parents. And also they never want to marry cox they obsessively love their parents. These overly pampered children are so finicky that they can't handle any situations without the help of their parents

[@alagiri414]

I can totally relate

[@navjyotinav5555]

True true true

[@shotboy-kw9vu]

Relatable. I wish my dad was alive. My mother is killing me.

[@anitakamat504]

But if we don't tell them how are they gonna improve...!!!

[@odom1262]

Abouslatelly right mam

[@user-ht7fl6qx1s]

Reltibal 🙌🙌🥺😔

[@himalivinayak9414]

Love this podcast....great work done raj shamani...u finally shine❤

[@riyajadon6355]

I experienced this😢

[@AshishSingh-un4lq]

So true

[@lakkojunireeksha6847]

👍 Agreed 👏

[@shekharpal036]

Ye to sach hai

[@krishnakalimukhopadhyay1138]

My parents abused me physically , emotionally. And one of my cousin did the rest. AND they considered me i m guilty. NOW I am a patof depression anxiety.

[@anshi047]

this is something ever parent do in our country. then they say why are u soo under confident. because u made me under confident mumma

[@Breadkun_llll]

It's true, I have gone through this, emotional neglect is so bad .

[@kukis_v]

True nobody can understand until you're facing the setuation ... It's very painful.....

[@dramas5320]

So we should let them become abuser,disrespectful , indisciplined.. with problems kindly provide solution as well

[@Priya-xm7du]

That's very true which my father use to do with me and with my siblings. Yesterday the same thing happened when one of our relatives came .They never understand us from what we are going through.

[@swapankumarjana5046]

So, how can we correct babies mistakes which they're doing repeatedily?

[@May-yp4we]

There are many ways to correct them without demeaning them. Correct them when they're wrong but don't forget to show that you love them and you appreciate their efforts and victories even in smallest things.

[@Indian143-b2l]

True✅

[@kapilshastry]

I think another reason is extreme emotional abuse is lack of siblings in families. In single family culture parents tends to put all their love, attention and expectations on their only kid and forces them to excel at any cost. Being an only child often comes with the inherent pressure to be successful in studies and career by society because they have exploited all the resources of their parents single handedly.

[@user-xu7pn6qv7z]

Mera sath aisa hi hota hai, isliye Mera confidence buri tarah se gir chuka hai 😢

[@deyasins]

so true. me and my sister say to each other that we probably won't even be as traumatized if we are brutally raped. we believe that no amount of physical or any kind of abuse can traumatize us the way our parents did and are still doing verbally emotionally physically.

[@hemayadav4766]

Typical Indian parents all the time

[@MehraNiha]

It has happened to me so i can understand anyone gone thru it and wont stand it happening to anyone near me. They try it on my brother but if they can't parent him better than me he's got me right here for himself suppoting him in every step altho afraid that i might misguide him but ill try my best to help him in every step

[@user-kv4go3hl9f]

This is so true... I have an elder brother who is a golden child, they always compare me with him... At the same time i feel ignore, neglected and a constant pressure to be a perfectionist like my brother. It's so heartbreaking seeing me just as a rebellious and useless girl😔😫😢

[@carlaa3623]

Emotional and psychical neglect

[@itshasan2687]

Constant nagging is indian parents janam sidh adhikar!!!and then they say har baat batani padti hai

[@saswatsarangi6669]

😅😅itna pyaar kaa points ma'am batayi. Utna toh kabhi huaa hi nahi

[@BabuRao-vw1gv]

Yes i was the victim of that😢

[@afra_ibnat]

The millennial parents never understands. They always find a way to neglect their child!

[@Aspire_Wings]

Yes

[@Vasbhikfjgyn6677]

She is right

[@SwathiY2024]

Ye to mere parents h.

[@Pikkk0101]

Mere bhi

[@S8444]

Mere bhi

[@baishalideb5565]

these things are right ...but sometimes you have to teach the kid that bad actions will have bad consequences....but everytime nahi karna chahiye ...yeh zaruri hai ...yeh ghar pe nahi sikhayenge to bahar ki duniya barabar sikhayegi.

[@anshi047]

but our parents keeps on comparing us from others. keeps on expecting and complaining about everything even the way we look or talk

[@Anonymous-5kj]

​@@anshi047ab how we look to unki galti hai na their genetics what can we do😅 aur Bolney ka bhi bohot depend karta hai bachche ke environment pe aur bachpan me parents kaise Kitna interact karte hain aur bola sikhate hain ki Kab kya bola chahiye baaki hum apne aap ko bade hoke improve kar sakte hain par shuruati confidence to parents se hi aata hai I think logon ko parenting dhang se aati nhi hai par societal dawab me unhe pehle hi parent banna padta hai

[@krishnapriya038]

99% Indian parents are like this

[@user-nc1io5uw4c]

Haash...Facts bole hai kisine abhi !

[@user-sc4oz7eo3g]

Indian parents be like hame ye nahi mila vi nahi mila Lekin tumko to sb mil raha hai unke hisab se

[@SharnaliDas-pr5cm]

My childhood

[@rituuraj2985]

Kch jada hi komal hain aaj ke bchhe😂

[@shrishtishrivastava5007]

Why i have heard everything she told in this short clip ???

[@Neuraltrades]

a kid in my neighbour committed due to this being one of major reason

[@komalyadav5774]

Ab ye haal h ki m unse thik se baat bhi nhi kr pati 😢

[@cavychinnu3126]

My son do this constantly 😔

[@marygoldmitra8311]

i fully agree with u mam...but probably the we who were born in 80s thought this was absolutely normal...n we just bore it...

[@jignaparikh7331]

True

[@soall4490]

Too much care and protection also creates mental illnesses where do we draw the line, I think old school is better than modern parenting of being friends and trying to understand childern people were way more happier in the past in a joint family

[@NaughtyIffat]

Matalb bacche ko khuch na kahe bo jo Kar rha krne de aa gye giyan Dene

[@Wangxian_6]

She didn't say that , why are u being extra, drama queen 🤨?!?

[@NaughtyIffat]

@@Wangxian_6 bhag yaha se

[@Breadkun_llll]

Do you know the difference between emotional abuse and making them understand the things???

[@aditichoudhury3425]

Facing worse version of this. Guess what if they catch you by chance when you are crying on your own, they will taunt you for that too saying you are throwing tantrums.

[@archanakumarimeena3058]

Mu father always do the same, he always criticised me, i just feel this life meaningless, i dont know what to do

[@yuk_34]

My mother too said that but I don't care but I try to improve. As usual I suppose so it's important as criticism only makes child grow. But I would never be a mom as I know i would never be a good mom

[@secretgirl2511]

Facing all these things because of my so called mother

[@inicooks1376]

It's happening regularly with my daughter😢.

[@harshadapetkar3994]

Then stop it!! Don't let this happen.

[@Cloud-vc2cn]

Everyone has a different thought. Some people think positive criticism work well, while others think negative criticism work. We faced such scenes but we sustained and survived. Not everything can be put on the environment and ppl around. But yes, these things affect the growth of a child.

[@nitikasheoran9861]

It actually is. This not her opinion it's research based

[@waheguru0803]

Can relate... Going through the same nd no one understands 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 dnt knw how long can i survive

[@manodiptam100]

Thrn to saaareparentskojsilmehi honge.....iskebahwwrunko atahikuchehi

[@navjyotinav5555]

Aise bache badey hokar bhot low confident bantey hai... Dusre bacho se piche rehtey hai.. har baat par irritate feel karte hai, unko khud nahi smjh aata yeh itna emotional dis balance wo kyun ho rhe hai...kuch aise videos mil jate hai, toh apni identity samjhne may madad mil jati hai..

[@BloodYshrew_96]

It's sound like my parents

[@doremonlover4477]

Or parents mna kr denge is bat se ki emotional abuse name ki chiz bhi hoti h ky

[@SritikanaBiswas-om7vf]

Really mam I am 19 but asa treat k baad mai heart less ho gayi hu or bohat gussa ati hai... but kabhi meri problem hamari parents nhi samajhte Meri hair, smartness, cousin se compare, height, figure,iq , career,or kya kya bolu sob kuch bohat problem create kerti hai....ab to mujhe insaan se nafrat hai or khudko kamjor lagti hai

[@shefalimishra6133]

Yeh sab jhele bathi hun. Kitni baar marne ke khayal aye aur ek do baar toh suicide ki koshih bhi ki. Maa baap ki ladai aur khicha tani mein baccha barbad ho jata hai. Phir bhi saab bacche ko hi galat thera dete hai. Emotional abuse itna normalized hai India mein, ki koi badi baat nahi manta. Hamare desh ke adhiktar log abuse aur toxic relationships ke shikar hai. Aur adhiktar mentally bahut stress aur pain mein hain.

[@sonam4159]

Harsh truth still no one cares

[@prees2509]

Acharya prashant kehte bhi h ..shadi kar li kar li..but atleast parents ban'ne k liye eligible nhi ho to bacche mat paida karo

[@mokshasingh6992]

Meri ma toh abhi tk yahi sb krti h😂

[@singhsrishti8256]

Aisa nii hai agr nhii v sikhaya jaaye na to bachee aaj ke kuch nhii krenge sirf insta pe nachenge and this ia reality

[@nadiyashaikh3160]

This is my story

[@SamriddhiSingh-cc8xb]

Mam ye to roj ki kahani h

[@samrobb4073]

My parents did not want me . They wanted a baby boy my mom did not touch me for 2 days after i was born all this was yold to me by my parents through out my childhood. Throughout my life they scolded me for everything did not want to pay for my education even. I am 37 have very low self esteem ans self worth.

[@rani818]

Very sad. Though quite common. Being succcesful might make them see truth

[@vidya4014]

Your just following foreign theories blindly...now you can see what's their generation is now doing....as per Indian wisdom, from 6 to 16 year age, child should be raise with proper discipline, with some punishment on misters...n after 16 parents should be friend of their children....

[@Bhartiya155]

That's why mens suicide are increasing. Wife mental torture hi itna karti hai k kare bhi toh kya... Aur upar se apna law...

[@pari-555]

You are right... wife mental abuse karti hai or husband se*ual abuse and mental abuse dono karta hai😂 ......firvi mummya su*side Nehi karti hai apne bachho ke lie....mummy ❤

[@Bhartiya155]

@@pari-555 exactly lekin hamare law nahi mantay. Unke according sab kuch husband hi kartay hai. Isliye toh ladke dahej le toh jail mai, aur agar na le aur divorce ho jaye toh alimony pay Karo. Ladki koi bhi case dal de toh sab theek lekin agar ladke case kare toh sirf apne seher mai, ladki India k kissi bhi Kone se case kare toh ladke ko aana hi padega... Aur bhi bahut sare ways se ladkiya torture karti hai ladke ko aur uski family ko... Aur hamare laws bhi isko support kartay hai... Wo toh shukr hai k ab direct arrest nahi hota warna ye ladkiya toh... Barabri chaiyea toh kanoon bhi barabar k rakho... And I insist on Pre-Nup but ladkiya kaha manegee...

[@ME-qu1ud]

​@@Bhartiya155ha to social rules bhi equal honi chahiye na. Law female ko favour karti hai kyuki society male ko favour karti hai. Females ko sasural jana parta hai. Sirf husband nahi bohot time in-laws abuse karte hai phir bhi bahu ko adjust karna parta hai. Lekin male ke liye aisa nahi hai. Damad sasural jayega hi nahi agar usse koi bura behave kare to. Tumhe sirf apna problem dikhta hai. Females ko jyada problem face karna parta hai isiliye law females ko favour karti hai.

[@Bhartiya155]

@Whois_serene law koi bhi lao lekin sabke liye barabar... Fir chahe rape ho ya mental torture, eve teasing ho kuch aur...

[@mitali_negi07]

​@@pari-555meri mummy ki baat hogyi ye toh💀

[@sarvajanhitaay]

While stats say otherwise. Kids living in family have extremely low chances of committing suicides than kids living alone or with extra pamper. So check the stats instead of rhetorical statements.

[@-NiCk_-]

Abe ye Dadi maa mera kahana kyu bol rhi

[@MrSaxobeat020]

I have went through all three of them, imagine my condition 🤡 Mai toh tut gayi hu