How I Found Out I'm Autistic + ADHD | Story Time | Part 1

In this video, I begin the story of how I found out that I'm autistic and have ADHD. I do talk about Asperger's in this video, even though I know it's not a thing anymore because that's what I knew at the time. I hope this story is informative and helpful. Thanks for watching!
#actuallyautistic #autism #storytime

[@compassionandhumility]

I feel as though, the smarter you are, particularly as a young girl, the more likely you will "fly under the radar" when people are recognizing adhd/autism. This seems to be a fairly common occurrence and I could only imagine how the assumptions people make, both good and bad, would be magnified as a young black girl. I'm happy you figured out some important information about yourself; knowing this information was very healing, for me and my sense of self. It took me until the age of 30 to begin self-advocacy.

[@Jordan-kj5nl]

Thank you for this! I’m also black and heavily suspecting that I have both adhd and autism but my psychiatrist swears its depression and won’t even give me a screening. And then she later said I’m just introverted (she’s white) but this made me want to continue on seeking an diagnosis Update: 4/11 I’ve been officially diagnosed!!!

[@ADae2Remember]

Same!! I've been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Depression. It took my finding a black female therapist for me (also black female) to get a proper diagnosis (ADHD and ASD).

[@DarronBirgenheier]

Even being a classic "nerdy white boy", it took me until I was age 53 to be diagnosed with ASD. I'm certain that being anywhere out of my stereotypical presentation makes it even less likely for ASD to be seen.

[@minigruftie]

Definetely go for it! I've had this fight for many years. For my daughter and for me. I asked so many times only for a screening, just a piece of paper only to see if there points anything to the direction Aspergers. If your psychiatrist does not want to help you, go and find another psychiatrist that has an open ear. It may take some time, but it's worth it. To make sure you're not strage but there are countless people on this earth who are in many ways just like us.

[@hil4966]

Best wishes to you as you navigate the journey of your diagnosis :) I’m not sure what anyone’s race has to do with this though.

[@Catlily5]

​@@hil4966 Unfortunately race does impact whether or not you are diagnosed.

[@FreckleFinance]

That makes me sad that a teacher never came up to you and made sure you were okay. Even if someone was smiling I'd go and ask them about standing at a wall everyday.

[@mollyx9120]

I relate to this so much… so many memories of sitting on the school yard in the corner not knowing what I was supposed to do and feeling stuck. And the adults being like "that’s just who she is" trying to be accepting but it made me feel like I was wrong to think I was different, even though I knew I was deep down!

[@karosonj1]

The whole "waiting for someone to come up to me and be my friend" is so true! I really love your sweater btw, the color suits you well. /gen

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thanks!

[@houki8636]

Your experience was very relatable. I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last year, at the age of 35. Like you, I knew I was very different since Kindergarten (basically when you first had interaction with other kids). Growing up, I hardly participated in any group play on the playground. I would participate in one round and then I would wonder off and do my own thing. My memory of recess or lunch was usually just of me marching around the playground, observing other kids, playing with insects or reading. I don't know whether it was because I didn't know how to interact with other kids, or more so I was not very interested. In school, I didn't really have issues making friends in preschool. Things became more difficult in high school, and because I missed the year 7 camp, by the time I came back to school, everyone was already in groups. Although I eventually did find a group, I don't think I was ever really part of the group. As in, I sat with them at lunch, but I don't think they will remember or recall me as being part of the group. The part when you mentioned about standing against the wall, reminded me of my experience in shops. One thing I've noticed is when I go into shops, trying to buy coffee or anything, I kind of just stand at the cashier and for some reason, people didn't know I was going to buy anything. I don't know whether it was my body language or facial expression that indicated that I wasn't there to buy things. It's like I don't really know how to get other people's attention. Like other people just stands there and the shop assistant will just know, but when I did it, it probably sends a different message. In high school, one time we were doing personality tests and my answers was very different to my classmates. Now that I'm diagnosed, I realised it was because my thought process was very different to everyone else, so of course my answers seemed very bizarre for everyone else. I was diagnosed because my psychologist noticed the traditional therapy on emotions, apparently had no effect on me. So it occurred to her that maybe my brain is wired a bit differently. I think she ended up putting the puzzle together and asked if I was interested in completing the Autism Spectrum quotient, and ended up scoring quite high, which indicated to her, there was a high possibility I might be on the spectrum. I ended up doing my own research from there and didn't find a lot of the traits relatable, so I was very sceptical. It was until I read books from other Autistic women, and I noticed the author's experience growing up was almost identical to mine. At that point, I was quite positive I was on the spectrum. I eventually got formally diagnosed a few months later.

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thanks for sharing your story! 😊

[@DolceSuono9]

As a Seventh-Day Adventist in a French-Canadian Catholic family in Vermont, doing well enough in a large public school-finding out I’m autistic and ADHD a year ago at age 34-I understand being overlooked. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@oliviaspaceee]

I was raised SDA too, and just found out I have aspergers at 27. A wild ride.

[@DolceSuono9]

@@oliviaspaceee Wild ride for sure.

[@voriaeveningflame]

Ooo!!! I'm so curious about this! I personally have ADHD as well, and I've been wondering if I may be on the autism spectrum as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story!!

[@emajaneee]

the first day of middle school story is almost identical to mine!! except nobody talked to me that day during our outside break and i just sat by the wall by myself waiting for somebody to talk to me. i know for a fact i have ADHD, but i’ve been suspecting there’s something else too. this video is seriously so relatable to my situation. might show this video to my therapist lol

[@EssenceOfLoveReborns]

so much of this is sooo relatable. standing by the wall at recess? that was most of school for me. that or sitting by myself at my locker just waiting for lunch to be over. I was always told I was shy too and my parents would try and challenge me to talk to three new people every week and stuff like that. making friends was always a sore spot for me. I never knew how to talk to someone unless they shared one of my special interests and if they did then I wanted to be best friends with them and talk to them about it all the time. I haven’t officially been diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I’m autistic because of my challenges with social interactions and sensory stuff. I’ve thought I might be autistic for years but don’t have the time or money to persue an adult diagnosis. even now I don’t have a lot of friends. also always feeling different, yes. definitely me too. and imaginary friends way past the normal age for them, yes! gonna watch part two.

[@phonelawless9205]

Ahhhh I love seeing other blk ppl talk about being neurodivergent. I'm just accepting that I am neurodivergent

[@dnewman6037]

🥰

[@isabellepantelll5004]

Hello Isabelle-istic here, just found out last month about autism and that I’m probably somewhere on the spectrum. Can’t imagine first hearing about/processing it at 14, I don’t know if it would’ve clicked in my head at the time even with everything spelled out. You know because “everyone is different”. Anyway going to get formally diagnosed in a month so videos like this are really nice and reassuring. Thanks for posting

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thanks! I hope everything goes well with your diagnosis 😊

[@fussyfissy]

My 8th grade recess was spent mostly leaning on a wall with brief conversations to passerbys as well. I was friendly and got along well with others. Recess was such a mystery sometimes though. I felt that part of your story and loneliness immensely. Even though we were in 8th grade decades apart, I wanted my 8th grade self to run up to that wall with you and be your friend.

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thanks! 🥰

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

I would hide in the bathroom and library during lunch

[@savannahj3910]

Me too

[@user-umcub]

Good to see another woman with my skin tone talking about this that not for 6 or 10 years ago

[@ilovecats21]

Thanks for this! I felt so relatable. I suspect I have austism because I was learning more of it because my brother has autism but I ended up relating to every autistic youtuber I saw. It's crazy cuz my family wont beleive me, since my brother is more of the "stereotype" type. They'll think im faking it and It makes me so scared a part of me is screaming "No. You cant have autism. You can't" and its frustrating because I dont know if I am even exagerating? But I have so many signs since I was small, everyone calls me weird, crazy, loner... I almost dont talk and I tought it was because my family and people always bully me because I have a "6 years old voice" but now I realize so many things. Noises and lights(specially the sun) irritate me and when I have a mad breakdown i cant help but to hurt myself. I had always felt i never fit and I dont know I am weird or is autism. I dont wanna self diagnose. But your video makes me feel less lonely, specially when you talked about how you showed you were a "normal" child but you always had signs. I hope you get recognized, subscribing and liking. Thanks for having the courage for this💜

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that you feel less alone from my video and I hope that you continue to learn more about yourself and what makes you you! 😊

[@ilovecats21]

@@therachelisticchannel Thanks 💕

[@maylissbjerke9204]

Its easier to notise in boys.girls are often overlooked cous we are different than boys who are autistic.i was diagnosed last year at 34. 💝

[@ilovecats21]

@@maylissbjerke9204 Im happy you got the diagnosis💗 I talked it with my psichologyst today but idk, he just asked me some things but didnt told me what to do. Plus I don't have left many sessions because I have a goberment healthcare :(

[@maylissbjerke9204]

@@ilovecats21 i have learned that its really expensive and hard to get a diagnosis in america. Im from norway and when my therapist realised i was autistic after 2 years ,i just got the diagnosis couple months later from her and it was free.

[@kraftykactus1028]

Dude, I've been suspecting that I'm autistic and... I can relate SO MUCH to the vegetarianism, Seventh-Day Adventism (I'm literally a part of both groups) and the general feelings of being different. I was also homeschooled as a kid so I don't have a whole lot of experience with other kids to understand whether I have interpersonal issues. Who would've thought! (also, your videos are amazing. I don't know why you only have 10K subs)

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

I finally got formally diagnosed a month ago. It makes a difference. My social difficulties and intellectual gifts make sense now. Depression and anxiety are side effects of trying to cope with a neurotypical world, not the causes of my difficulties in coping (they don't help however - ketamine infusion therapy relieved those symptoms for me a few years ago). It's also helping me understand and forgive people who hurt me unintentionally. The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that I'll never "fit in" with neurotypical people - especially in group settings - unless I work overtime masking who I fundamentally am. The emotional costs of masking are high for me. So are the costs of being socially isolated. I'm not sure how to deal with it, but at least I have a clear picture of what I'm dealing with, and that it's biological, not an issue of character or morality. Having ASD is like being blind, or not being able to taste or smell, but it's hidden and more detrimental to social functioning. Interesting that ASD usually involves issues with senses eh? Like the blind having better developed senses of hearing and touch, perhaps ASD sensory issues result from the nervous system compensating for the loss of an unidentified 6th sense. An invisible social sense that neurotypical people have that we don't.

[@ichi_san]

Nice video! I learnt a lot from this and it was really interesting hearing your perspective. I can relate to having unrealistic expectations of friendship as a kid and expecting middle school to be awesome

[@Jessiethreesixty]

Sorry you had such a hard time at middle school, that sounds like a really tough time. Hopefully this video will help to show other people in your position that they are not alone ❤️

[@andromedasmoons3647]

it is so incredible how many things we on the spectrum have in common in our childhood experiences. whenever i hear the story of someone else's childhood before diagnosis, i feel so much less of that lonely feeling and differentness that we are all too familiar with. thank you so much for your story! :)

[@islandgirl5382]

I love your video and it is refreshing to see a 'young woman of color' sharing your experiences. This in itself will help other young people. My 12 year old granddaughter will be happy to see your videos and know that she is not alone. Yes, I did subscribe to your channel.

[@jbaby7475]

There isn’t anything wrong with you. This was such a wonderful story time. You’re a sweetheart. There aren’t enough genuinely kind hearted people in this world. Stay true to you and stay sweet. 💖

[@therachelisticchannel]

Thank you! ☺️

[@jbaby7475]

@@therachelisticchannel you’re so welcome 😉

[@ariel9776]

I just found your channel today. The excutive dysfunction video was the first I happened upon. I just wanted to let you know that I found your story relatable and endearing. And I'm eager to watch the next one.

[@tututwinkletoes14]

thank you for posting!! can really relate to not understanding there were specific steps to making/ keeping friends.

[@sweetchocolatest]

Thank you for sharing your story. Looking forward to watching part 2

[@riickyzombie4574]

Your video is so calming, thank you for bringing light to neurodivergent stuff :D!!

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

I’m really sorry you when through that 😢I relate 💕

[@tajos703]

Thank you for sharing your story! I hope you didn’t feel too lonely. Younger me is sending younger you a hug if hugs are ok for you 🌻

[@therachelisticchannel]

Aww thanks! 😌

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

Yep I would talk to kids in class sometimes but whenever there freinds came over they would act like they dident know me and wouldn’t talk to me

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

And they also never talked to me out of vlass

[@miomiodee]

I wish to watch it but sound on the background is to laud and to intens😢 I to overwhelmed to keep watching

[@relentlessrhythm2774]

I'm 24 and still have imaginary friends!

[@daisyfruity3040]

I’m in the process of finding out whether I have ASD. I don’t have much recollection of my childhood to back up my difficulties. It makes me question whether I’m autistic or just clinically depressed and has anxiety disorder. I have many traits that pass the diagnosis criteria but then I will later find out that many neurotypical struggle with that too. Not to mention I am Asian and it just genetically weird

[@lisaharrington3241]

That sounds like my childhood.

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

Same !on the some girls talked to me and I thought we were freinds but the girls dident end up liking me

[@mcuggetmeal]

im from ontario and im also on the spectrum and vegetarian!!! heeey!!!

[@christophmahler]

The waiting game... for the fool-proof plan to do virtually anything, concerning people. You have good composure and diction for someone who grew up, isolated. [imaginary friends: we took good care of her !] DOLLS "What are doing all day in the attic ?" -"Placing my toy soldier army in an urban scenario, made out of shoe boxes." "At age 16 ?!" -"What about it ?" [whiggling off, to see if 'the troops' do well] Sharing these observations with others who may wonder about similar experiences, would be something insightful - and comforting - coming out of it, I'd say.

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

I’m 8th grade when I was 13 I still liked dolls and I’m 14 and still do so I relate to that

[@user-umcub]

I'm into ball jointed dolls now. Haven't gotten over liking dolls at 24

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

I had trouble understanding how to make freinds and I looked for advice on the internet and I would try the advice but it dident work

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

Omg so I grew up in the twelve tribes so I felt different cuz of that reglion and I also read books like that and was somehow still exited so I relate and I also think I might be autistic and when I first moved into the real world I was in 2nd grade and ppl just asked if I wanted to be my freind I also get everyone getting into groups and I dident get how to fit into one and no one came up to me and ask to be freinds so I got rlly sad it’s really sad knowing I struggled to but at least we weren’t alone💕whish I would’ve met u as a kid

[@jessi822]

💗💗💗💗💗

[@herrvudic2926]

Claudette Morel

[@Unbreakable245]

I was diagnosed with autism at 23 months old, i had a speech delay back then but it did not last long. When i was 4, i had the vocabulary or an 8 year old according to my mom. If i had been diagnosed later, it would have been aspergers, it is confusing. Is my autism supposed to be worse because i had a speech delay and was diagnosed at 23 months?! I kind of like the fact that it is all considered autism now. When i was diagnosed, it wasn't known how severe my autism were or whether i had any intellectual impairement or not. Now we know that i am high functioning and that i have no intellectual impairements, i learned to read at age 3-4 actually.

[@anjachan2]

I speak pretty much like you.

[@ottolandin]

I am regular autistic

[@knzay]

damn did we live the same life???????