Childhood autism traits before I knew I was autistic⎥Late autism diagnosis⎥ACTUALLY AUTISTIC

In this video I go over a few of autism traits I had as a child before I knew I was autistic. I was recently diagnosed with autism at the age of 32 so revisiting these memories with a new perspective has helped make sense of my childhood.

[@madisonharbin4364]

okay so maybe this is too too weird but in elementary school one of my special interests was this series of books called Warrior Cats and i would pretend to be a warrior cat at recess and hiss at people i didn’t like 😭😭

[@princesspiranha]

It sounds awesome to me! :)

[@lifewithkailee.]

I thought no one else knew what these were but I LOVED warrior cats, omfg.

[@chaisippa]

I LOVEEEEED WARRIOR CATS I used to rp and try to make my own rp websites :D

[@chaisippa]

I used to force my siblings and cousin to real life role play as our own clan. We even would excile each other XD

[@SumireIsrafel]

One of my good friends loves that series! I never read it and I feel like I massively missed out. But don't be embarrassed, or rather I'll embarrass myself right along with you. I was so into animals (mostly dogs and cats) when I was a kid, any movie with animals I was obsessed with, 101 dalmatians, aristocats and all dogs go to heaven being favs (watched them maybe 100 times). It was so bad I would crawl around on my hands and knees and bark at literally any and everything, eat cereal from a bowl like a dog and just generally act in ways that completely mortified my mother. She won't let me live it down to this day lol

[@DahomieGpoptart]

“I grew up feeling like the child that was just too much” wow that hit different

[@neurodivergentme]

🖤🖤🖤

[@Ecologyontherun]

When I was a kid I was obsessed with turtles, and I was convinced that I could communicate with them via sign language. I would stand at the edge of the pond in my neighborhood and “talk” to the turtles. Every time they surfaced for air, it only confirmed my belief that they understood me 🙂

[@junebugx1312]

this is so wholesome (,:

[@FabiolaMacabre]

That’s very sweet !!! ♥️ 🐢

[@samamsterdam4301]

I love turtles! A box turtle named Diego showed up at my back door about 30 years ago and we've been best friends ever since. She stays in my bedroom with heat lamps during the winter. If I'm even 5 minutes late to feed or mist her she comes out and waits for me with a "where were you" look on her face.

[@dabordietrying]

this is so adorable. they lowkey probably did understand you lol

[@marionetteheart]

when i was a child i loved cats to the point where i would pretend to be a cat thinking my cats thought i was a cat

[@rejkk]

I did the same thing!

[@americanphilosophy2701]

For some reason, me, too Lol

[@kamicoolll]

i used to crawl on the floor like a dog because i had a dog and my family would get sooo mad

[@Moana_moo]

If it helps you it’s been proven that cats actually see us not as humans but as idiotic cats

[@dickottel]

I used to say meow instead of yes, and mrrrow instead of no 😂

[@delilahhart4398]

I've also always loved cats. When I was little, I often meowed. I'm now over 40, and I still sometimes meow! 😹

[@neurodivergentme]

🐈‍⬛ 🖤

[@Randomclips1877]

Same here. I meow now. Lol

[@NikkiScatch84]

I love cats too!

[@skmuskanrahaman1690]

Meow, now I can't stop meawing.

[@dcdc139]

once, when I was in high school, our teacher decided to have an open discussion and asked us what was on our minds us lately. a lot of the other kids answered things about dating, drugs, relationships, life after high school. that day, i was particularly upset that i wasn't able to have the same breakfast that i ate everyday, probably the same one for that i had for the past whatever years.. so that is what i said. it got some good laughs, everyone thinking that i was trying to be a comedian.

[@neurodivergentme]

The amount of times people thought I was being funny when I was being serious is far more than I care to admit.

[@TheJrpkid]

Once again, most of what you say here rings true for me too. Not all, but a lot: Being an “independent” kid, not hearing when I’m being called, “too sensitive”, being “in my own world”. And being bullied. Except I didn’t quite know why-I couldn’t see how different I was. Even though I hung out with the misfits, for some reason I thought I wasn’t one.

[@sheisaMachine]

That is strangely exactly what I remember in my youth too.

[@kerrybryant8544]

Ha ! , me also . @@sheisaMachine

[@GarliccDread]

I'm turning 31 this month and still wish I could be a cat sometimes lol

[@neurodivergentme]

SAME! 🐈‍⬛🖤

[@katherinehealy4208]

I remember having a lot of those traits as a child too, but I’m 70, and the possibility of autism definitely would never even have been on anyone’s radar. I’ve never sought an official diagnosis because, at my age, I’ve learned to navigate fairly well, and a diagnosis now almost seems beside the point. That’s why videos such as yours are so valuable. They give me insight into the likelihood that I might be on the spectrum myself.

[@dabordietrying]

honestly i feel this. im only 20, so a bit younger than you are, but I've put a lot of thought into getting a diagnosis and i honestly don't feel like i want to anymore. im in america and there's a lot of restrictions that come with an adult autism diagnosis here. as well as its really really expensive. and, i know I'm autistic. i am 2000% sure that I'm autistic. and i know myself. i know how much research I've done. it feels pointless to get diagnosed when the only reason i would be doing it is so that i could tell people i have been diagnosed! because i dont like lying and dont just tell people i have been diagnosed, but that in itself is an autistic trait and just proves to me again that im autistic. sorry, im kind of rambling lol. but maybe you can relate to something. it really sucks that people like my own brother and grandparents won't believe me unless i have a diagnosis. but *i* know how much research ive done on autism and how little they have. i know who i am better than anyone else does. as much as it hurts to not be believed by them, i know myself. unfortunately they dont. everyone that knows anything about autism and knows who i am knows im autistic and thats good enough for me. good luck on your journey. "mom on the spectrum" is a really good channel i would recommend :)

[@Miss_Elaine_]

​@@dabordietryingIf you consider going into higher education.

[@dabordietrying]

@@Miss_Elaine_ if i consider going into higher education then what...?

[@Miss_Elaine_]

@@dabordietrying Sorry! You will want accommodations. Generally, you can't get them unless you have a diagnosis. I'm 53 and I'm getting assessed next week. I've been working on a master's degree for a couple of years and it has been horrible, like being dragged over sharp rocks. I hope to have a couple of F classes dropped from my record after I have a diagnosis. PDA is for real. I'm tired of thrashing it out on my own.

[@wisecoconut5]

I am 56 and retired so an official diagnosis is not relevant to me either. But learning all of this stuff now has given me much more confidence.

[@juliahock5549]

Extreme Fears/Phobias is never something I hear talked about as a symptom of autism, I had no idea. But it explains wayyyy too much about my experiences. The littlest things caused copious amounts of trauma, things that are just a passing thought to most people. I don't know if this is related, but, years into the future, those things that I was deathly afraid of are things that absolutely *fascinate* me now. Whether it be a horror game, urban legend, or just something entirely random, I've just become sucked in.

[@wellsonwheels457]

I actually googled autism and cats a couple days ago. I’m only child but we always had cats and they had kittens. This was incredibly awesome. I bonded with these cats. They would all sleep with me! I have phobias! Weather mostly. Chew on my lips and play with hair . My aunt used to joke that grandma had to pay the neighborhood kids to play with me. She might have bribed them with activities or popsicles! 😂 Any kind of trauma bothers me more than most. My imagination and emotional reactions to events can be overwhelming. I can’t turn off my brain. Can anyone else relate to me?

[@neurodivergentme]

I can definitely relate!

[@danadavis3647]

Ever read the cute little book called something like All Cats Are Autistic? (Used to be All Cats Are Aspergers but they've updated their title) I definitely wanted to be a cat when I was a kid...

[@ElizaArcher]

I wanted to be a mermaid, I was obsessed with The Little Mermaid.

[@hopej9647]

Yes. I wanted to be a mermaid as well!

[@LilMorphineAnnie]

I'm in the process of getting diagnosed (possibly either ADHD or autism or both). I'm absolutely in love with cats too! Also loved playing alone, frequently wandered off by myself in kindergarten and 1st grade and wouldn't come in after recess because I had no concept of staying with your class. I was beyond obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio when I was 11. Also a frequent crier and very sensitive to loud noise. Man, looking back, I'm not sure how no one suspected anything lol

[@NiinaSKlove]

I was obsessed with horses 🐴 And for a period of time I was obsessed with figure skating. As a really small child I was obsessed with Elvis, and later on Boy George, David Bowie, and Johnny Depp. It wasn’t your usual childhood/teenage crushes, - it was more of a complete fascination for who these people were and I basically knew everything there was to know about them. - Then from my yearly teens up until my twenties, I was obsessed with supermodels. Claudia Schiffer being my favorite. I knew all about her, as well as having a broad knowledge about the modeling industry in general. I still catch myself seeing people (women 99% of the time) thinking: - She’d make a great model, she’s got the height, the looks and that “it factor.” One time I told a girl working at a local seven eleven store that she should reach out to a modeling agency because she really had the right modeling qualities. She was completely caught off guard, - telling me how she basically had no self esteem, she didn’t see herself as your typical “pretty girl,” and so on. Then, about a year later I met her at the grocery store. - She had changed. She held her head up high, she walked with confidence and she told me in the conversation we had: she had taken my suggestion seriously, contacted a modeling agency and was now getting jobs as a model! I was thrilled beyond imagination! The main reason being just the fact that she had some confidence in her steps. At one point (before knowing I was autistic) I felt that there was something wrong about being obsessed with things. Kinda like “the normal thing is to have a hobby that you do once a week and then you kinda forget about it until next week.” 🤷🏼‍♀️ Today I embrace my obsession with things, some being a fling, while others being a long term relationship. Let’s just say I’m rarely bored. 😉 Anyways, - keep those videos coming, I really enjoy watching them❣️🤓

[@neurodivergentme]

You sound awesome! My 5 year old son is currently obsessed with Elton John and Black Sabbath (not currently diagnosed but I suspect he might be on the spectrum). He's so cool without even trying. At this point, I embrace my obsessions shamelessly but I know the feeling of realizing my level of interest was way different from those around me. Thank you for your comment! 🌻

[@NiinaSKlove]

@@neurodivergentme Thank you 😊 Both you and your son sounds like super cool people! Elton John and Black Sabbath! That is one cool 😎 mix! 👍🏼🤓 Thank you for replying, - it’s nice seeing women on the spectrum making videos, sharing a bit of their everyday life on the spectrum ✨✨✨🌻

[@susannatuttapanna2010]

I had a really strong Bowie obsession for a few years, starting a couple of years before he died. When he passed on I felt like I'd lost a family member, it was crazy. I still love him but I don't collect things any more. In my teens I had several obsessions with actors and so on, some were almost crippling they were so intense.

[@flossyarchibeque7394]

I can identify with most of the traits you mentioned. Growing up as a child with parents who went through the military, my differences were....less than welcome. I unintentionally did things that made people mad and think I was ignoring them or being careless. I took people too literally. I was told to "act normal" many times. They didn't want to understand why I was the way I was. They never cared to. And that was why I gave in and tried m*th for the first time (because my boyfriend at the time needed me to be "more social.") All my parents had to do was love me for who I was. That's it. And yet they failed to do that. Nothing else matters. If they would have loved me for me, I wouldn't have been in a situation like that because I wouldn't be attracted to those types of people. Even if I was, I would say no. I always knew it was bad. My last thoughts were "why am I fighting this?" "no one cares about the real me so why do I?" My parents would deny it. I struggle to find my self worth and it's not been easy. My worth is tied to my weight and that's another whole messed up story. I can see why kids that aren't accepted by their parents for being who they are end up having problems or killing themselves. I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind. It does daily but I'm afraid of hell and I know my mom couldn't handle it emotionally. I shouldn't care because they made me raise myself emotionally. My father relied on me for emotional support before discarding me around age 12 because I started to remind him of his mother who he doesn't talk to. I don't know why I care about these people who never even tried to understand me. As verbose as I am and as much as I can express, I can't communicate emotionally what I need. I don't even know what I need. It just hurts would you pray for me?

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

I’m 27, diagnosed with ADHD and in the process of getting diagnosed with ASD and sometimes I feel like I’m not “autistic enough” but hearing your childhood experiences makes me feel better about questioning and being evaluated because I had incredibly similar experiences to you and relate more to someone who masks it so well. Thank you for sharing.

[@fionascheibel977]

Yep. When I get scared or emotionally overwhelmed I faint. Getting injections or going to the dentist or having a blood test can result in me fainting.

[@megmariee8215]

I’m autistic and have always been obsessed with True Crime and Psychology. Also one of my FAVORITE childhood toys was water baby’s. I had an Indian one that was gifted to me and it was my favorite thing. Wish my parents would have kept it for me. ☹️

[@andrearoberson]

I made 2 of my friends in Junior HS write down the entire alphabet. Those became my templates, two options in handwriting styles that I went on to master. Masking has been like breathing for me. NOW.....I don't even know what my own handwriting looks like. That was the hard part about getting my diagnosis last year. Who am I? I don't know where the imitation stops and I truly begin. I authentically do like cats & animals. But only Big Cats (Cheetahs, Lions,....). An animal video would be great! Thank you for sharing your experiences!!!!!

[@neurodivergentme]

I'm with you on questioning my own sense of self and identity. I'm still figuring that one out.

[@delilahhart4398]

I once saw a video that showed an adult human who self-identified as a cat. True story.

[@neurodivergentme]

I've seen some videos like that. If that's what makes them happy, I'm for it. For me, I knew I couldn't logically grow up to be a cat but she didn't ask for logic, she said ANYTHING 😂

[@maylissbjerke9204]

I never undersaood that question.what you want to be..to be,i csnt be anything but me. And a job is not something i can be..🤯..im 33 and stil has never wanted " to be" anything jobwise... i want to be free and i want truth and i want to know my creator and i want to love .💞i grew up with cats to. And i hd to have the basket woth the kittens and mother in my room and tried to lift them up to sleep with me.love cats

[@Stardust11527]

So happy I found your channel! This was so relatable. I found out super late I am ADHD and suspect I am on the spectrum. Looking back to when I was a child the quirks of my personality all start to make sense. Everything you said hit home. I never realized how much I started to study people in middle school to make attempts at fitting in.

[@StarvingAutist_channel]

i'm not sure if it IS a trait of autism? same with fainting

[@She_Wont_Focus]

Chewing on water babies is the kind of niche stuff I love learning about autistic women!

[@hayleynugent7710]

Im so connected with dogs I totally vibe with how u talked about vibing with animals more than people. I have serious adhd and am thinking I might be a bit autistic but haven't talked with professionals, love ur videos keep going!

[@neurodivergentme]

Animals have been my saving grace in life. They accept and love me just as I am, not questions asked. I don't have to read into their intentions or possible ulterior motives. I know exactly how they're feeling and what they need from me, making the connection significantly easier. 🌻

[@JennaGetsCreative]

Relating emotional sensitivity to autism has been very freeing for me, honestly. I was, unfortunately, abused as a child, and I was told in my late teens that I had PTSD. As time went on and as I've spent so much time online, this concept of C-PTSD was evolving and that distinction fit better in a lot of ways, but I also found myself relating with all the neurodivergent memes my neurodivergent friends would share and I also felt like I had been doing all the right things to "get better" with C-PTSD and wasn't feeling like it was working. And then I realized that a lot of the emotional dysregulation I deal with that has been attributed to PTSD is actually autism. It has helped me understand the why behind it, it has helped me figure out ways to help myself, and it has helped me forgive myself. Do I have some form of PTSD? Absolutely, but it's not as much of a problem as I was lead to believe it was. Most of my emotions that don't fit the social situation or are too intense according to neurotypicals aren't trauma driven. Most of my "panic attacks" aren't flashbacks or trauma triggers. It's autistic emotional dysregulation. It's sensitivity to injustice, or demand avoidance, or overstimulation.

[@JennaGetsCreative]

@@ZahhidMicheal F off, nothing "heals" anyone from autism, nor is autism something to be healed.

[@average_amanda3884]

"I wanna be a cat" haha me too, me too.. lolz

[@neurodivergentme]

I just want to lay in the sun and take naps all day 😂🤷🏼‍♀️🐈‍⬛

[@scottiemomma2314]

So relatable!! I don’t have a diagnosis, but wow. It is insane how similar our paths may have been. The fears were all-consuming.

[@qu33nishlizzz56]

I’m a chewer and picker myself, I bite the sides of my fingers, cheeks and lips. Also have always had a connection with cats. I was barely walking and had tamed some stray, wild kittens that nobody else could pet, I could tote them anywhere with no problems. Also I have a cat named dog now and I can read him better than I can read other people. He gets me even if society doesn’t. Having a pet is quite possibly the best therapy ever for me. Thank you for the videos. They are really helpful, like really, really, thank you. 💜💜💜

[@neurodivergentme]

The best thing my parents ever did for me without even knowing the impact was raising me in a household that welcomed pets. My pets have saved me in many ways throughout my life. I'm so glad that my videos have been helpful for you, friend! 🐈‍⬛🖤

[@creatrix_child]

Hit the nail on the head thank you!!!!

[@sophiaaltomare1649]

YASS, Golden Girls!! 🥰 I watch it to get me through boring housework nowadays. I feel the exact same “home” feeling about it, as well. I have distinct memories of sitting on the living room floor and watching it as a kid.

[@sheisaMachine]

Can’t believe you mentioned the golden girls. I literally bought every box dvd and rewatched it all the time. I still would unto my adult years until I got in meds

[@kimtodd1803]

Yes I love cats !!! They help me to calm down. I have speech problem like pronunciation. I am 45 but I feel mentally I am behind age I am

[@Jaxnxay]

Thank you for your video! I have an adult autism screening next week so naturally I'm obsessively researching autism in adult afab people! Growing up I was very into disney films and memorizing the dialogue lines. Also obsessed with collecting beanie babies, model horses, and shiny rocks, feathers, and other natural materials. My favorite toy for years was my knex building set. I loved making structures for my parakeet to play on. I had all manners of pets growing up and into adulthood. Completely in love with with horses lifelong. I was/am a leg shaker, a clothing puller, and and when my hair was long enough I chewed and sucked on and repetitively pushed it behind my ears. I used to chew drink straws, the wood of pencils, plastic pens, various jewelry, and... Grossly, any scab I could pick off. I had bad acne and picked my face compulsively. In middle school I became obsessed with alanis morissette. Super fan for about 5 years. Collected anything I could get my hands on relating to her. Watched the music videos, listened to the albums and interviews all the time. I tried to learn guitar and harmonica liked her, and tried to dress like her. I even memorised speaking with a Canadian accent, which looking back on it now seems creepy! I always excelled in language and art. Perfectionist always. They thought I was hard of hearing because I often didn't register when people were calling me from another room. I had difficulty processing what people were saying and asked people to repeat themselves often. I never cared to be around peers, always wanted to be with teachers or by myself. I was an only child so my independent streak was attributed to that. I hated dolls, and even real babies still to this day creep me out. I never liked dogs because they make intermittent loud or gross noises and their odor is completely overwhelming to me. I grew up with cats though and always loved them and have continued to have them in my life. I never had a concept of time. Still don't. I'll be late to anything, no matter how important, because I can never conceptually grasp how long it takes to do anything. I suspect that I have adhd mixed in with the autism. I'll find out soon!!

[@melirose20]

Golden Girls does feel like home! ❤️ 🏡

[@neurodivergentme]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! 🌻

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Every time I watch another first-person video regarding autistic experiences and tics... I am more and more convinced I am on the autism spectrum. So very many things just keep adding up. Wonderful video, btw. Thank you! :)

[@esteon8558]

Yes, please do that video about animals! I'd really love to see that! I've always preferred animals over people hahah

[@ismailabdelirada9073]

Your vignette reminded me of an incident from my own childhood. I was four, and a family friend picked me up and asked, "So, little Brian! What do you want to be when you grow up?" "God," I said.

[@rebeccayellowega6928]

Thank you for the video! :) I can relate to a ridiculous amount of the things you talk about, and had no idea that they were autism-related. When I was in Kindergarten a classmate told me he had a crush on me... I reported to my mom later that day that for some reason a boy in my class wanted to squish me like a bug.

[@neurodivergentme]

I'm glad that you were able to relate! I didn't realize these things were autism related (for me that is) until last year when I was diagnosed. Up until that point, they were just funny and slightly confusing experiences. I have so many memories of taking things literal. I would have thought he was going to crush me too 😂

[@susannatuttapanna2010]

it's really interesting that you mention fainting and needle phobia. I have adhd and suspect i may have autism, and I have this too. I actually have fits if I faint. There are some other family members who I think might be neurodiverse and two are also fainters.

[@neurodivergentme]

So glad to know I'm not the only one! I believe that my mom is neurodivergent and also faints. I know the likelihood of seizures is increased with autism but I would love to know if there have been any studies connecting Autism and fainting. 🤔

[@susannatuttapanna2010]

@@neurodivergentme i didn't know about the seizures. I've never yet been able to find a doctor who can fully explain it to me. I have passed out from lost teeth, paper cuts, hamster bites, a scratch from a hair comb, needles.. sometimes even just thinking about something like that, and as I got older, low blood pressure caused me some very dangerous faints- on a train, once or twice in a bathroom and i woke up with concussion etc. It's very scary. My son is diabetic so the idea of injecting him at first was unthinkable. we managed to find a device that hides the needle, and i can just about do a finger prick for him now, but I still have to sit out a lot of his blood tests. what I've noticed is a lot of it is down to how anxious I am that day, and that would probably tie into autism too I guess.

[@teresamcqueen3706]

OH WOW. This is not the first of your videos that I have gotten lost in because I'm thinking that it's my inner voice talking. I am not diagnosed, and suspecting/doing research. Thank you for sharing about your experiences and making these videos.

[@scottiemomma2314]

I relate to these so much! Not the cats, per se, but everything else. Love your videos ❤️

[@barbiisaurus]

OMG yes, the chewing... i love chewing on stuff, particularly plushies, squishies, my inner lips, and i used to on pencils...but they discouraged me to do it... tough i still bring them to my mouth. Idk what a water baby is, but yep..sound chewable... And... one of my longer and on going special interests is pokemon, i've played most games, collected plushies and merchandise, and drawn them a lot...also, i love nuzlocke´s comics haven't fainted yet though... but my nose bleeds out of nothing every once in a while, and everyone freaks out...it's kind of funny xD

[@neurodivergentme]

Water babies are rubber baby dolls that you would fill with water to make them more life like and yes... they were very chewable 😆 I got nose bleeds as a kid but haven't had one in a very very long time. I love your special interests! thanks for sharing 🌻

[@barbiisaurus]

@@neurodivergentme oh that sound's nice, they don't sell them here,the closest to that they sell just like stress balls full of water, they are quite chewable too tho... Thanks for the clarification :D

[@Meg_intheclouds]

Right?,! I got told off so much for chewing. I chewed literally anything, especially clothes. I still do. I found that chew toys helps me to not chew things that are potentially harmful.

[@morgananne9599]

I am 11 seconds into this video and 100% associate already, hah! I wanted so badly to be a cat up until I was probably 12 years old.. I'm in the process of finding a psychologist to help me with an adult ASD diagnosis. I came from your video where you were explaining noise crackling and difficulty hearing the person in front of you, I have the exact same problem, the crackling only happens occasionally but when it's happening I can't even focus on what I'm saying. I have a crazy sensitivity to cold white light, and the buzzing of the fridge section in the store gives me suuuuper bad anxiety, it's nuts, imagine dealing with me when even an ice cream parlor can give you a panic attack. I've since been taking sertraline and it's helped massively with my anxiety thanks to my current doc. I haven't been to a movie theater in years, and the last concert I went took days to recover from even with the headphones on. Luckily it's not too hard for me to navigate through small talk or large conversation, but eye contact? Body language? I am 100% aware of how long i've been looking at someone, their eyes, focusing on my own facial expressions, am I staring at them? looking away too much? should I cross my arms for comfort or will they think I'm being silently impatient? If I'm too kind upfront will they think I have alternate motivations? I had a coworker at one point who didn't believe I was ever genuine and she blew up a group text telling all of my coworkers not to ever help me out anymore because I was two-faced, which I've heard to be pretty common, being perceived as "too nice," and therefore "two-faced." Pretty unfortunate considering that my favorite thing to do is be the clown in the group and make other people smile and laugh. This journey has been so intriguing to me, especially as a live performer, I've had so much anxiety and restlessness my entire life, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in my childhood and have worked so hard to mask, blend, grow, learn, and accept my absurdities. I love more than anything to perform on stage and inspire people to be their best selves and to try something they never thought was possible to them. I love people, I'm just also scared of being my weirdest self around them sometimes. Mental tug-o-war why are you so tough! My parents, siblings, friends, and husband have always been very accepting of my crazy sporadic hobby/lifestyle changes, from gymnastics and dance to professionally making costumes and performing in the circus industry, landscaping, shoe repair, vfx, aquascaping, thrifting/garage-sale picking and retail arbitrage, and probably 10 other things I'm going to remember after I post this. Well, that was a wall of text. Thank y'all for reading all of that! Remember that whether you find yourself to be neurotypical or neurodivergent we all have something valuable to teach, give, and learn both to and from others. Have a swell day, Friends!

[@syleenadawn2038]

I'm the same with the show Friends as you are with Golden Girls!! I still watch it anytime I feel down or just needing some comfort.

[@neurodivergentme]

I never really watched Friends when I was younger but my husband and I went through the entire series a year ago and LOVED it!

[@tishstewart1]

@@neurodivergentme omg me too! 😂

[@clayjug4893]

This flowered background is soooo so beautiful

[@annasmith5380]

I had so many similar traits growing up... Fainted when I got my hair cut, or blood work done. Stimming with chewing finger nails, I grew up perfectly fine being alone often. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@darcyritt6179]

Such a beautiful video, gracias !!

[@shinyxcrab6342]

Yes I always had a bigger connection with animals as a child. I had 8 wiener dogs growing up (mom is also autistic) but as they aged and started dying it became so painful for me, I no longer have the strong attachment I always had growing up. I still have cats and dogs and I talk to them in their little animal voices and they feel connected to me but my connection is still blunted, because I can’t handle the pain over losing them one day. I feel like this “blunting” affects me in other areas of my life as well. I’m hyper emotional too. Loss has always been very traumatic for me even over inanimate objects.

[@kittylynx8911]

Yes connection with animals! I never could do anything in my life until I found working with animals I was a vet tech and now a dog trainer and it comes with such ease cus I connect with them on some level that most people can't

[@tinyfreckle]

I fainted when my Mum changed my earrings for the first time after I got them pierced! Right on the bathroom tiles, and then I was scared to changed them and always made sure I was sitting down when I changed them.

[@spaceybun]

your story about wanting to be a cat if you could grow up and be anything made me laugh-I’ve always laughed at myself for the same thing! I remember how crushed I was when I found out that “you can be anything when you grow up!” DIDN’T mean I could be a black jaguar 😪

[@Pleiadian_Peacock_Prophetess]

I heard an autistic girl at church last week say she wants to be a mommy when she grows up. This was me as a child. And that never went away. I am a mommy now. 😊

[@roxigrotenhuis2617]

This video explains my whole childhood!

[@michellefarmer1841]

Minus the fainting.. spot on me 💖

[@segwrites]

I really relate to this. Even the fainting… Unfortunately I still have dizziness / vertigo issues with any sort of sinus issue (which is often…), but luckily the actual fainting went away.

[@NikkiScatch84]

I get the same thing! It’s embarrassing sometimes

[@delilahhart4398]

My mother often accused me of being a hypochondriac when I was a kid, because I was afraid of getting sick or dying. I sort of laugh about this now, but I remember being in study hall in high school one day. I suddenly noticed that I had a little white hair on my arm. I asked the girl in the next desk over if she saw it, and she did. I then began to worry, because I wondered if I had progeria! 😆

[@LoveCrumb]

I would LOVE a video about autism and animals!

[@roveplanteater6738]

In second grade I saw a guinea pig for the first time and my whole world became about guinea pigs. My parents thought it was a phase. I am almost 25 now and still incredibly obsessed with guinea pigs.

[@cassieengle6182]

I feel like we're so alike! I said the same thing when I was a kid to my kindergarten teacher! And then for show and tell in 1st Grade I brought in my cat and dog ears and tail I made out of paper bags for show and tell. To this day my parents say I've always had a way with animals. On the topic of acting out things while alone, I still do it when I'm in the shower or have a minute and I talk to myself when no one's around. I act out conversations constantly! Oh and I can hear sockets buzzing sometimes it gets so bad I have to find the noise to stop it. I can be in the living room and the socket could be buzzing upstairs, I can hear it.

[@neurodivergentme]

I'm constantly acting out conversations! Some times its a conversation from the past, some times its a conversation I'm about to have, and other times its a completely hypothetical conversation. 🙈💕 I love that you said the same thing in kindergarten! Cat nation 🐈‍⬛

[@agnies2488]

Fainting! I'm a serial fainter. Injections, getting my earring out for the first time, dentists office. Things im unfamiliar with that can cause me feel pain make me faint. How interesting to hear you say that!!

[@agnies2488]

Also I was that horrible meltdowny kid at my injections. My poor mom had to run the heck out of the nurses office with embarrassment as soon as it was done :P

[@Thelordsrain]

I do too it’s called Vasovagal Syncope

[@UniChimma]

6:07 Something similar happened to me, when I was on fifth grade, my teacher told us the story of how his uncle lost his eye after a small piece of metal hurt it, then at the recess, I was walking in circles as always and something got into my eye, and I was afraid I would loose mine to, so I remembered feeling like a heartbeat in my eye, and I walked outside my home with eyes closed since that.

[@debcevans]

I am 67 and resonate with much of what you talked about. I always had a connection to dogs, for example. I brought home a stray when I was 3. I was fine amusing myself, as a child, and I thought that it was fine. I also had unusual interests, such as reading phone books (including the white pages). and mixing colors with food coloring or paints. At school, I hung out with the kids, who, now thinking about it, probably were high functioning ASD, talking about our weird interests. I cried easily, to the point that my 6th grade teacher called my mom because I would be crying on the playground during recess.

[@TheAppleNinja1]

I'm 29 and literally everything about this is my experience. I even chewed on my water babies. I chewed the hands clean off.

[@neurodivergentme]

It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who did this 😂

[@TheAppleNinja1]

@@neurodivergentme Same! When you said it I was like "Oh my GOD!! I DID THAT!" lol

[@rebeccamccluskey1465]

Chewed fingers and toes of my baby doll Susie, never understood why I was doing it, well till recently 🙃

[@ladydrone2345]

Cats - yes! Fainting - yes! l've fainted from: major pain, unexpected moderate pain, seeing someone hooked up to hospital equipment, unexpected strong smells, seeing a spider close to my face. l feel like l go into shock, then l get dots around the edge of my vision and any sounds on the outside sound like they're echoing in a barrel.

[@neurodivergentme]

That's exactly what it's like for me. 🌻

[@angeliconda123]

Ohh the animals connection would be a cool video. I've always really really loved and connected with animals myself. My dad said I always told him growing up that I preferred them to people. 😅

[@neurodivergentme]

I often still prefer them to people 🙈 I'm the person who hangs out with people's pets at get togethers.

[@angeliconda123]

@@neurodivergentme haha omg yessss. I swear it helps my social anxiety so much when I find the pets and just hang out with them. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@colleendeis928]

Please make the video about animal connection! If you already have, I will find it lol. Great great video!

[@mikuenjoyerXD]

I guessed what you were going to say in the intro because I was the same way and I just started laughing lolol

[@anabelle1508]

As a child I was a lot in my own world too and I loved it. I fainted in several unusual occasions out of fear. I had extreme fears (I dreaded furry caterpillars for instance) but I also had alexythemia so no one knew what was going on inside me. I had no words to express my emotions. I broke my arm when I was 10 and it took half a day for my mother to realize that I needed to be taken to the hospital. I was so terrified with going to the hospital and not really feeling the pain so I just didn’t say anything. My special interest was horses. I knew everything about horses and felt an incredible connexion with them. Still today, at 46, i have massive phobia of blood tests and I have fainted so many times when having a blood test. Mindfulness and meditation helped me a lot. But it was such a challenge during my pregnancies because each blood test was a nightmare for me 😅

[@kathleengrant4341]

I started masking in the 6th grade. I did almost all the things you listed.

[@rpgreseller]

I had no idea that hyper emotionality was one of the things. Yep, I had that. Also the fainting, did not know that was autistic.

[@Barbie_2193]

Yeah I can relate to the needles, it took 4 nurses to hold me down when I was a child. Still scared of them to this day but you wouldn't guess that from all my piercing! I also chewed on my tongue and cheeks, A LOT, and got yelled at often for it. I also imitated a lot of the tv shows and movies I would watch to try to seem relatable to ppl. Damn, almost every you're saying, I can relate too! I literally just had a melt down today and normally I can compose myself by talking myself down but someone was commenting on how I'm late for everything, ever, and I just blew up on them. I've never been formally diagnosed because I come from a denying, old-fashioned family but deep down, I've always known something was different.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

I just found out. Im glad. I have 2 cats and live alone and am a woman 33 years old/ young.. whoever read this know your unique and beautiful as GOD made you.

[@neurodivergentme]

Thank you 🌷

[@PixelatedFaerie]

I relate with all of this so much. Also please do the animal video.. ❤️

[@EmilyElements]

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year at 29 yo and now I'm considering being tested for autism. I've always felt that kind of connection with animals and I think that is because you don't need to talk with them in order to understand them as it happens with humans, with animals is more an observation thing.

[@trekkie-cat]

I'm autistic and very definitely by relate to animals more than people!! 🐱🐱🐱 I would love a video about autistics and our affinity for animals.

[@banetv1106]

I relate with many if these same things. I am 42 and just realized I am autistic about 4 years ago because my son is on the spectrum.

[@gamerchristina1079]

THANK YOU!! 👍👍❤️❤️‼️ yes please make a video about autistic connections with animals 🙏💜😁

[@yesiflor]

My 4 yr old daughter was recently diagnosed for ASD. I see a lot of the traits you mentioned. My question for you is what could your parents have done differently to help you as a child? Any advice for parents raising a neurodivergent child?

[@lugaruna]

I have always loved animals and especialy cat's:). Also wolves but that is a differant story:p. I have also always had that animals come to me very easily. They just aproch me when im near them.

[@Rahna7]

Ohmygoodness... When the teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up I said, "Dr. Doolittle so I can talk to the animals". I remember being so proud of that answer because it was meaningful. But then I saw the look on everyone's faces and I could tell it was the "wrong answer" 😢

[@lalaluvbot]

my first hyperfixations (dont know if i can call them special interest bc im still waiting for diagnosis) were winnie the pooh and the aristocats, my faves were tigger and marie, never realized that my cat obsession was always there😅😅

[@RainbowCurveCostuming]

I have always loved cats too and I always managed to make them come over to me. But since my parents (avid birdwatchers) were very anticat it took me years and a husband who said ‚ sod them this is your life‘ before I got a cat. And then after the first 2 more followed lol.

[@CyraGetsFit]

Elephants, rocks, clouds, trees, drawings, clothing.. Some of my special interests. The Occult as well. Always trying to 'fit in' by copying others to the point where I would lose myself in the motions. There were times I would be told that I am talking too loud, when I hadn't noticed that my volume increased. I was told that I had no tact and would blurt out anything. I can remember my grandmother slapping my hands because I was fidgeting (I was stimming, shaking my hands and making fists repeatedly). I can remember 'losing my voice' when I was stressed or nervous about something. Sometimes I get told that I have no sense of humor because I take things too literally. I can be ritualistic about how I eat my foods, but I know most others aren't so I try NOT to be. I ALWAYS picked at my skin, still do... sometimes to the point where I bleed. So many things that I NOW know are Autistic traits. I was always made to feel like I was just weird. I'm so happy you started your channel. If you haven't yet, you should check out Princess Aspie, Yo Samdy Sam.. and I can't think of the others right now. I haven't done a video on my channel about Autism yet as I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I will say suspected Autism. I do have one on ADHD. Please come check it out. I would love feedback.

[@neurodivergentme]

I love Princess Aspie and Yo Samdy Sam! 💕

[@alihayman3834]

Omg I'm so connected to animals too. I'm 26 and awaiting psychological assessment for autism

[@ninahrs4974]

Me too, I also adore cats, and for every helloween, every year I wanted to be a cat. Even now cats are my favourite everything.

[@brib.8953]

ok, but Golden Girls is legit flawless and well worth unending viewings

[@neurodivergentme]

Absolutely!

[@bedheadacademic]

im an autistic content creator and this video really hit the nail on the head

[@Emi_72]

The first conversations I had were with cats. I spoke to them in a language I made up wayyy before I started to talk to humans.

[@IWonder474]

I was obsessed with shells, chystals, dolls, etc. I used to line up all my shells on the floor occasionally but i would shut down and throw a fit when i had to clean em up. I had thousands of shells. Also somehow i could communicate with cats and i would meow and cats would literally come up to me and everything. I cant anymore but they literally would come to me when i started meowing LOL it was insane lol idk how but yeah. I was called the cat whisper

[@stfuyoutube423]

i was diagnosed only when i was 1

[@PamelaKingFriendlyLibrarian]

My daughter Kat LOVES cats. I never thought about that being her first special interest!

[@Siftedheart]

Thank you! You are sharing my daughters story. How can I share this with her. This is not even on her radar. She’s 18🙏🏾

[@alihayman3834]

Omg I related to multiple things! I chewed on things too as a kid but never my nails.

[@hipicaart4402]

I'd love to share my stories one day x

[@dabordietrying]

the way i relate so much to the mom being like "you're too sensitive" and "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" is honestly awful. like, im sorry you had to experience that too. i hope your parents are a bit more accepting now knowing you're autistic. i dont really talk to my egg donor anymore but she would probably deny/lie about everything so i dont really know too much about childhood memories i cant remember. im rambling at this point tho

[@sammiisdead8965]

I said I wanted to be a cheerleader because I had a talking cheerleader toy that sang her own cheers and my teachers gave me such a weird look and said I had to choose something else. Little did they know that professional cheerleaders exist..😭

[@neurodivergentme]

I have been looking at your message and name for a solid 5 minutes now and was trying to understand why you would choose 'dumb bitch' for a name 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ Guess that's dyslexia for ya! It's unfortunate that some teachers aren't more inquisitive with their students instead of immediately shutting them down.

[@carlottak4496]

Major fainter here. Lost count of the times. Only after 35 y.o. I tried to focus on breathing and sometimes it manages to bring me back from darkness. Sometimes it’s too fast or too strong so breathing can’t help. Also cold and shivering helps.

[@StaringCompetition]

Regarding the fainting, I am not a neurologist however I read a bunch on stuff about this. You could look at syncope. Childhood epilepsy is correlated with autism. I hope your parents noticed the fainting and took you for an EEG work-up?

[@Pleiadian_Peacock_Prophetess]

I had the fainting thing and I have as an adult as well

[@kimtodd1803]

I was born 1975. I was told age 3 I started pulling out my hair age 5-6 I banged my head against wall. My sweet mom tried to give me yellow pages to tear up. I won't. I didn't like be away my mom. I have learning disability light sensitivity texture smell . My psychiatrist told me it's your bipolar. But I am going to be tested by a different Dr soon. I am 45. I struggle lot

[@wendythomas4930]

You may want to checkout the KZbin channel Mindful Divergence.

[@princessklutz4338]

It can be hard to find the right diagnosis. No matter what you are diagnosed with, or lack there of, what you go through isn't any less valid. God speed and good luck

[@Catlily5]

I was born the same year. I am diagnosed with Bipolar and Autism.

[@kimtodd1803]

@@Catlily5 I am finally getting help it's going to be slow process I am just blessed I getting help. I told psychiatrist everything even down to sensitivity to light sounds texture n all. How some smells sounds triggers me into anger cause it clutters my brain it's so loud up there. It's takes time to quiet down. As growing inside was quite.

[@Catlily5]

@@kimtodd1803 I am glad that you are finally getting help!

[@lindsay4773]

i like to daydream alone am obsesssd with stuffed animals stimming for a long time always in my own world very sensitive masking copying the way to hold a phone and miss social cues and anxiety and depression