Autism and ADHD in Women | 8 Areas of Frustration

Both autism and ADHD are under-diagnosed in women because it tends to present differently (this can also apply to AFAB individuals). Also, until 2013, many medical providers did not believe the two conditions could exist simultaneously. This video covers the definition of both autism and ADHD, 8 areas of frustration in living with both conditions, similarities between the two conditions, and an important resource that can help you learn to better regulate your nervous system. 🧠🫁🫀
🌟 ⏩ Connect with others like you in an Autistic Community Group: taylorheaton.as.me/schedule.php
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💻 ONLINE COURSE How to Unmask: Cultivating Your True Autistic Self: taylorheaton.podia.com/how-to...
❤️ 🧡 💛 MY FAVORITE THINGS 💚 💙 💜
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⬇️ Scroll down ⬇️ for timestamps to jump to a specific section PLUS a list of helpful resources for further study. 🧐
📪 Business Mailing Address 📬
Taylor Heaton
8901 Tehama Ridge Parkway, Suite 127
PMB 680
Fort Worth, TX 76177
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor nor psychologist. The purpose of this video is to share information that has been helpful to me as an autistic mom with ADHD. Please do not make any changes to your health without the help of a medical professional.
⏰ Timestamps ⌚️
Let’s talk mental health (1:25)
My first video over ADHD (2:35)
Using labels (3:46)
Defining ADHD and Autism (4:52)
List of 8 Areas of Frustration Starts Here (6:48)
The Nervous System (7:10)
Special Interests (8:30)
Routine (9:25)
New Activities (10:15)
Decision Making (11:03)
Learning (12:07)
Paying Attention (13:05)
Staying Organized (13:56)
Takeaways (14:44)
Similarities between ADHD and Autism (15:16)
The Effect on the Nervous System (15:45)
💻 Resources 📚
Mom on the Spectrum website: www.momonthespectrum.life
Mom on the Spectrum full KZbin catalog: / momonthespectrum
Meltdown Survival Guide: taylorheaton.gumroad.com/l/me...
All Mom on the Spectrum Downloadable Resources: www.taylorheaton.gumroad.com
7 Types of ADD as Defined by Dr. Daniel Amen: • The 7 Types of ADD/ADH...
16 Overlooked Autistic Traits in Women: • 16 Overlooked Autistic...
What is Autism? (Mom on the Spectrum Video): • Adult Autism, Food All...
Attention Deficit Disorder, Amen Clinics: www.amenclinics.com/condition....
Are People With Autism Likely to Have ADD/ADHD: www.amenclinics.com/blog/are-....
ADD/ADHD Definition: www.additudemag.com/add-adhd-...
Autism Definition: www.psychiatry.org/patients-f....
I'm Tay, a married mom of 2 who was diagnosed with Autism at 31 years old. This was after YEARS of therapy (and all of the self tests in the world!). My diagnosis has brought up questions, frustration, doubt, but most importantly, a new level of self compassion and understanding.
🪴🌱🌿🪴🌱🌿🪴🌱🌿🪴🌱🌿🪴🌱🌿
I'm here to share knowledge, resources and products that empower other neurodivergent individuals (and their loved ones) to live freely and creatively. I'm not a doctor so please speak with your healthcare providers before implementing any recommendations I make on my channel.
Women are under-diagnosed due to lack of research. Please share any videos that are helpful to you so we can spread awareness and acceptance.
Music by Milky Wayvers ("Mountain")
/ milky-wayvers-mountain
#autism #autistic #aspergers

[@helenayamez]

I am self diagnosed as autistic at age 57, but couldn't work out why, if I'm autistic, I also get bored so easily but need routine, get distracted but have episodes of hyper focus, can't remember things yet absorb vast amounts of knowledge when researching, have a routine, boring job and want more but know I wouldn't be able to cope if I got it, want to travel the world yet want to stay home, all the things I've started but not finished in my life. I never knew why. Your video has explained it all. Thank you.

[@Vivicci.x]

I’m 22 undiagnosed (my sister is a CNA and since working with children she realized those quirks in our family) and working on maneuvering through life with all of those exact thoughts. Want to get diagnosed but I know it can be a lot and I don’t know if I’m ready to invest in the process.

[@helenayamez]

@@Vivicci.x life has been a struggle for me so I wouldn't want life to be such a struggle for someone as young as you when help is out there. I would say if you're struggling in certain areas and it's impacting on your life in any way, then I think getting a diagnosis would be the thing to do. It would be worth it. I didn't know what was wrong with me and just got through somehow and I do feel a bit damaged by it all, but it doesn't have to be that way. We all deserve to thrive not just survive. I'm still pondering whether to try for a diagnosis. I think the access to therapy and support groups would help.

[@bunbun4037]

I just read this..burst into tears because..this is me too at 51

[@jenicacrail9989]

I can relate to this so much!

[@helenayamez]

@@bunbun4037 do you think you'll try and get a diagnosis?

[@sarahs.6377]

I think this (ASD + ADHD) is why I loved college so much. I could set my schedule (ASD routine), but it changed every semester (ADHD change). It was the perfect balance!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This makes sense! I can see what you mean with this

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I have to agree as well.

[@Dancestar1981]

I have both too and yes I enjoyed studying and learning new information

[@Chaotic_Pixie]

And deadlines. Sweet, sweet deadlines. And grades. Motivation.

[@Sarah-ht7cs]

YES!! 🎯

[@neuroticnation144]

With ADHD, I know I don’t produce enough dopamine, so I’m ever on the hunt for dopamine rushes. With autism, I often can’t handle the kinds of things that create dopamine rushes, like parties, concerts, and so on. But you can get the dopamine fix you need and make both sides happy by doing things like reading an exciting book, watching an exciting movie, creating art, or doing exercise. Just so you know, sometimes the rush comes from buying things, and/or collecting them, like musical instruments, art supplies, or shoes. You may never use them, but you gain a sense of well-being just by having them.

[@dala3en]

That's exactly me 😳.

[@Dancestar1981]

Yes

[@karminaluna3438]

thank you for reminding me that it's normal to lack dopamine with ADHD.

[@Redridininyohood]

L-tyrosine. Worth reading about. 😊

[@pariahmouse7794]

So THAT'S why I buy makeup I don't need, haha... I have started doing this with grooming supplies and breeches, too- I ride twice a week if I am lucky, I don't NEED 20 pairs of breeches, or my own huge grooming kit, (don't even have my own horse yet- i am afraid it will overwhelm me, no matter how much I want it...) but I've sure got' em, haha... Buying things is my happy place, but then I can't work enough to earn the money, or I don't have enough space for the stuff...

[@lunettasuziejewel2080]

"You don't know what your body is wanting from you." yes. This is what it is, exactly.

[@deborahducret-shiley6309]

I nearly spit my coffee out when you said "...and it would be really fun to crochet right now." Girl, you had me laughing so hard! You are exactly describing my thought process. I was diagnosed ADD at nearly 40 and have suspected that I'm also on the Autism spectrum as well for some time now. That inner struggle with wanting to pursue special interests, but also needing to stay home in my comfort zone can be really frustrating. Thank you for sharing. Just discovered your channel today and subscribed.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Welcome to the community Deborah! So glad you're here, and that I was able to make you laugh. :)

[@megan5074]

This is exactly how I feel, I have an intrinsic need for organization and routine but can't stick to either and spend too much time on planning them. I love going to live music events and being out but I also always debate it and go out based on how adventurous I feel that day and alcohol usually helps a little and I need a lot of time to recover after. I love meeting new people and making friends but I never seem to "fit in" and always feel like an outsider. I have a lot of interests and unmastered hobbies too lol and love researching everything all the time, I got 100+ tabs open on my phone 😅 it is really tough to be pulled both ways, I always thought I just had ADHD which made sense then started looking into ASD and it made even more sense to have both, I think ever since I started my ADHD meds my ASD traits from chilhood started to come out more again and that my ADHD masked my ASD a lot. I struggled to understand the difference between them because I thought they must be the same but really I most likely just have both and that's why I struggled differentiating between them.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

totally relate to researching everything all of the time and feeling like alcohol helps in social situations sometimes! but then I feel like my nervous system gets easily dysregulated with alcohol 🤷‍♀️

[@Hugo-dc9nd]

I still struggle differentiating. I'm sure about adhd but I can't tell the same for asd. However, I can't get any of these diagnosis becouse adhd is not even a thing in my country and I'm too old for asd diagnosis (I was too old even decades ago. Lol). So, I don't even have the oportunity to try those adhd meds in order to tell that I feel asd...

[@peachmelba9333]

​@@MomontheSpectrum one reason I stay away from alcohol- if I'm gonna get taken advantaged of,I want to been fully conscious to either enjoy or tell someone they repulse ME loudly. Even an " Aspie" like ME has Rights and Freedoms.😊

[@estefaniasalgadopatricio9185]

I have never been diagnosed but the way I screamed in agreement every 5 seconds was telling 😂

[@kateblais--9396]

The push and pull of autism and ADHD is such a great point. As someone with autism and predominantly hyperactive type ADHD, it's SO difficult to feel like I have all this energy inside, but feel anxious about doing all the great things I have in my brain. It's so frustrating. Too many days I feel like I'm in anxious paralysis and I can't do anything I need to do, OR WANT TO DO. Any tips for dealing with that? I feel like I don't even get into hyperactive spurts anymore and I loved that feeling of hyperactively just delving into something. Same with quickly picking up and dropping special interests. I feel like I can't become the master of anything and it makes me sad cause I'm not fulfilling what I wanted to achieve in life and I'm wasting so much time. How can I get past this?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is definitely a common struggle. I think acknowledging it and becoming aware of it is the first step. Self compassion, maybe the second step. It's ok. Our brains are wired differently. There is also a concept called Autistic Inertia you might appreciate - it can be really difficult to start things, and really difficult to stop things once we've started them. You might consider how you could create an ideal environment where you are prone to dive into your black hole and get work done. But for me it takes time and practice to figure this out. You're not alone!

[@haileyoslund]

Something that’s helped me is to find a way to combine my special interests with other tasks that I really struggle with socially. For example, one of my hyper focus interests is crafting. I feel better when I craft and I enjoy the occasional fixation where I really dive into making stuff. But I would flux between not doing any crafts at all (which left me feeling bored) or I would hyper focus so much that I would burn out and get frustrated because I didn’t have enough purpose in my crafting that I would just make random stuff or it wouldn’t turn out right. So recently I started making crafts specifically for gifts like the holidays or someone’s birthday etc. It helps me to have more goal directed objectives while channeling my art - I can have a purpose but let my creativity flow all while eventually making a personal gift. I used to struggle so much with gift giving and holiday norms, so this really helps me to find my own way to manage it. :) Idk if this is helpful but thought I’d share!

[@eveevolution1607]

I relate to everything you just said EVERYTHING!!!!

[@artflyer8775]

Thats me all over

[@dianadee4300]

I feel pulled in different directions from my responsibilities as a spousal caregiver. Never considered it could be the ADD/Autism.

[@pyreflei]

As a later-in-life diagnosee of ADHD, and self-diagnosed ASD, finding your channel and others like "I'm Autistic, Now What?" has been so revelatory! I feel seen! I'm not an alien! I'm not alone! Thank you so much for putting yourself in the spotlight and speaking up about your experiences and research towards understanding yourself and educating others!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! I’m very glad it has been helpful to you. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me.

[@bolinhong2598]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@klhpensil21]

All those things you said... Wow. So true. The schedule thing is frustrating. I love making detailed, predictable schedules, but then when it's time to start following them my ADHD brain says, "You're not the boss of me!"

[@dawnkindnesscountsmost5991]

OMG! THAT'S MY BRAIN, TOO! 🤯🤯🤯 "Let's get the dishes done, there aren't many, it'll take 6 or 7 minutes tops, that's only two songs." "Nope, got this spider solitaire hand to solve. Another extreme sudoku puzzle to solve, I can't leave that undone, now can I?" These are the conversations I imagine my brain has with itself, manifesting in my not getting important things done. Over & over & over again.

[@livb6945]

EXACTLY It's indescribably frustrating

[@resourcedragon]

@@dawnkindnesscountsmost5991: If I try to give myself orders I rebel. If I can, I try to find ways of tempting myself to do things (e.g., if you do those dishes now you won't have to do them tomorrow morning), or giving myself permission to do things. It's not always possible but any instances that you can find can be very helpful. I don't know whether I am on the autism spectrum or not, whether I am ADHD or not, so I my suggestion comes with this caveat.

[@chrissytamulis1755]

Oh my gods. I resonate with everything you are saying! I only discovered I might be autistic last year at age 40. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD at 30, however, something's still seemed missing out of the equation. Just some of my struggles didn't match with JUST ADHD. You verbalize my everyday experience. I have yet to be diagnosed with autism. It's expensive, and I'm honestly still afraid no one will believe me. I tried to get diagnosed with ADHD as a teen and again in my early 20's. I masked so well at the time I was just dismissed.

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I am glad you have found this channel. It has been a big help to me as well. I also flew under the radar until later in life (33). I struggled with focus as a child (ADD) but figured out how to harness the hyperfocus part of my autistic brain (ASD) to mask the behaviors of ADD that got me in trouble as a child. Maybe people assumed I "outgrew" these difficulties? I would later mask my ASD traits, because I was told they were undesirable. I figured everyone did this. Now I know about neurodivergency and that ASD+ADD can coexist. Its been kinda like finding my spectra within the ASD spectrum. Welcome, and thanks for sharing!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@chrissy thanks for sharing this! I'm glad you're here. Hopefully you find some resources that are helpful to you on your journey!

[@crankysoprano]

Yes! I was diagnosed with ADD in my mid-twenties (during my second college experience 🙄), but I’ve only self-diagnosed myself with autism over the last few months (I’m 40 now.) My six-year-old was diagnosed with ASD when he was still two but I had no idea that I could also be autistic until a friend at work, also with a dual diagnosis, started talking about it. I had no idea how autism could present so differently in women.

[@holyohnobutwait7260]

I was just mentioning to my boyfriend that I (46 age) have suspicion that I may have something else other than ADHD, specifically a variety of possible autism. I have the same difficulties from packing (=meltdown & ultimately stayed awake all night “packing” & I know I forgot to pack likely most important things. Kept getting distracted bc of help getting my neighbor to help by offering to watch /check on my kitty. I’m going to talk to my psychologist next visit. Also the ADHD inattentive is what I was diagnosed at 12 years ago, age 34/35 (self medicated since mid 20’s). I have the hyperactivity in my thoughts and that results in my actions. Poor impulse control. Racing bouncing thoughts. Went to hug my boyfriend last night as he was doing the dishes 😍, and small area but right before I landed behind him to hug him, I stepped in water, so I immediately had to grab a paper towel, clean my foot, then the water off floor (minor splatters). Then sidetracked on something temporarily and then I was able to hug him and tell him I’d been trying to do that for 10 min. It causes insecurities for him when I have to organize and “Feng Shui “ the house and do laundry when he just wants an hour of us time on the couch together. It’s been a rough time researching and learning me at this age (yes I do that consistently & love it, but trying to read 4-5 books at once isn’t feasible nor easy to carry around). Thank you for the post and channel bc it is interesting regardless if the doctor labels me the Dsm-5 term du jour. God Bless and know everything is typically a test to allow us to move forward positively, otherwise it repeats and we go around that mountain once again. 💡🙃🙏🏽💯

[@aka.roryyy]

i wasn't diagnosed with adhd until i was 43 and now i'm 44, going through all this research like "welp, that sure explains a lot about my entire life!" this list is what my life feels like every gd day, so i am super grateful that i appear to be on the right track.

[@TotalRookie_LV]

A few days ago on my TikTok ADHD suggestions there was a video about "lacking" hyperactivity. It's still there, it just manifests itself differently in adults and in people like me, who are predominantly inattentive. Sure, we can sit for a long time _almost_ still, but we are impulsive and moody _sometimes._

[@Dancestar1981]

Exactly the hyperactivity is internalised and exists in the brain and not the body

[@H0neybee_]

I feel like i deal more with inattentive type. I feel like a quiet adhd person on the outside. But with rush hour traffic in my mind

[@sutpremblair1438]

Just found your channel today. April 8, 2022. I am 70 years old (born 1951) and have always been very aware about myself being "different" but you can imagine the early 1950's, was not exactly a time to get support for being on the spectrum. I have 2 adult daughters ( they are now 50 yrs and 44yrs) both with some traits on the spectrum, and 2 brilliant adult grandsons. When I saw the film "Neurotypical" , I saw traits that are" me" for sure and of course "Temple Grandin" helped as well as her book "Thinking in Pictures". This is a great KZbin video and channel and actually I am laughing here or there. Thank You so much. I did subscribe here.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Welcome to the channel! Thanks so much for your comment.

[@artflyer8775]

I think k in pictures all the time

[@kariannefimland1475]

This was like having someone explain my own brain back to me. Brilliant video. :)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad to hear this! Part of why I started the channel. I found a couple of resources at the start of my diagnostic journey, and when I found things other people had written or put into words that spoke to my own experiences, it was one of the best gifts I’ve received.

[@juliak.4474]

Wow, this is a superb description of how I seem to operate. I'm 21 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD and through informal testing (take-home questionnaires) by my therapist, told that I may have Aspergers (or high-functioning autism) as well. I have done a lot of independent research in trying to understand myself and why I am the way I am. This has ranged from looking into the mental health sphere to the effects of childhood trauma, being an HSP or empath, to my astrological signs, to gaslighting myself and believing that I am completely normal and simply searching for an excuse for my extreme discomfort living in this world. Currently, I am working most with mood dysregulation and socialization. I find my moods, wants, and desires are so earth-shatteringly extreme when I am feeling them but in a short span of time, they are gone. It is comforting to know this when it is anger, fear, etc. but supremely frustrating when I want to create art, exercise, chat with others, journal because that desire fades quickly and I feel "trapped" in a commitment. I have improved with coping with this by affirming that "I am safe" "I chose to commit to this and therefore and free to leave, but am choosing to continue" or "Am choosing not to continue doing this activity to honor my boundaries." My WHY or motivation changes daily, sometimes by the moment, and I am learning to accept that and use whatever is going to motivate me at that moment. That being said, I am emotionally up and down constantly, extremely affected by my environment and the moods of others, and very socially isolated. It has been worse and it will get better. I appreciate your content. I appreciate your allowing people most vulnerable to misunderstanding an opportunity to feel seen. Thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you so much for your comment. I really resonate with a lot of what you shared. My motivation seems to change from day to day and it is so hard to manage/stay committed to things I truly want to finish but lose steam when pursuing.

[@jlbeeen]

The emotional dysregulation and motivation is the worst! I can't seem to get through a job interview without crying and it's tough. It's hard to know where to get help when not everything is diagnosed. At least in my area, diagnosis is expensive, but often required. I've found a lot of great advice from people on KZbin, especially How To ADHD, who has a lot of great advice for a variety of struggles ADHD often comes with.

[@7Nebulae7]

"I have done a lot of independent research in trying to understand myself and why I am the way I am. This has ranged from looking into the mental health sphere to the effects of childhood trauma, being an HSP or empath, to my astrological signs, to gaslighting myself and believing that I am completely normal and simply searching for an excuse for my extreme discomfort living in this world." That part of your comment especially resonated so much with me. I feel sorry for your struggles but at the same time I feel comforted by the knowledge that other people are experiencing similar struggles as I am. Btw, I have been watching an KZbin channel by the name of The Crappy Childhood Fairy, which is about childhood traumas, especially CPTSD. People with CPTSD also have dysregulation, which to me seems very similar to autistic meltdowns. If you haven't checked that channel out, I warmly recommend it. You might find some insight that can help you.

[@juliak.4474]

@@jlbeeen thank u! I'll have to check them out.

[@juliak.4474]

@@7Nebulae7 Thanks! i'll check them out! I feel the same way. It's comforting to know I'm not alone but not to see others struggle. It's wonderful to see ppl sharing tho and get others to have more wins!

[@sachadanielle6596]

It was like you were describing me 🤯 I was only diagnosed last year aged 30. I can't help but think about how different my life would have been if I had support as a child. This is why I am studying my masters of psychology!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

so many neurodivergent people find comfort in studying psychology because it helps us better understand so much of what we've been through! best of luck to you with your studies.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

New subscriber here and I'm sitting here with my jaw hanging open because I feel for once that someone UNDERSTANDS me. The push-pull you describe (and resulting frustration) is so spot on! I was diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive type at age 48 and highly suspect that I have autism as well. I have a terrible time trying to explain how/why I am to people because it seems like such a dichotomy and I can't make it make sense. I'm definitely saving this video and sending it to people that I'm close to for those times when I need them to understand what is going on with me. Thank you SO much for putting into words what I have been unable to. The fact that you have these diagnoses and are able to do this amazes me! I know it must take a lot for you to create them and I want you to know I really appreciate it. You are giving a voice to so many voiceless. Will be sending you $. Happy Holidays!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You are so kind! Thank you for this sweet comment and for your gift. It means a lot to me. Welcome to the channel!

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

@@MomontheSpectrum You're welcome 😀

[@favourjohn312]

I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now as his speech and social skill has improved

[@mloveleigh]

YES. ALL OF THIS. BECAUSE I CANT EVEN PUT THOSE WORDS TOGETHER MYSELF

[@neurodiversemom3578]

My whole life has been a constant tug of war between pulled between my adhd and ASDL1 without understanding the why until my day of discovery at 48 (after having my kids discovered). It feels so validating to understand my neurodiversity and helpful as I help my children understand how to embrace their own neurodiversity to help them thrive and grow. Thank you for this!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! Thanks so much for your comment.

[@kbencsik1]

So I have always been a nail-biter and subconsciously always am moving. Rubbing my nails together, moving my feet. I never realized this is considered hyperactivity, or "stimming." I'm 69 and still learning and am just now learning to accept and understand my "diverse" brain.

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

lists are how I function. the notes ap on my phone saves a lot of time writing and organizing to do lists cause you can remove and add to dos and not have a bin full of failed/changed lists. literally EVERYTHING goes on the list - brushing teeth, taking meds, making bed… everything I do counts. If I do something off the list I add it so I can check it off and say I did SOMETHING at the end of the day

[@tinawilstrup955]

I cried (and laughed) my way through this, because I recognize everything! The live music event, making organisation lists and then being too exhausted from making them to actually do anything. Ugh! I was diagnosed with autism at 42 and 4 months later with add as well, and I really appreciate this video of discussing challenges with both diagnoses. I will go download the guide. Thank you 🙏

[@shannonthomson4972]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and have been doing some self-reflection today... the conclusion was that I feel like a living, breathing contradiction. I am so disorganized, yet I desperately need order. I have to have a routine, but now that I have one, I feel trapped and resentful because without it I feel completely overwhelmed and yet having it stops me from being spontaneous and doing what I'm excited/driven to do. I can be OVERLY sociable at times but mostly I do everything in my power to avoid human interaction because it takes me weeks to recover from it. I can spend hours, days and weeks researching something I am passionate about but can't remember most of what I learn. At the same time with all those hours, days and weeks I spend deep diving into a particular topic/interest I will somehow put off REALLY important things, until I am either threatened with consequences, or more often am suffering the consequences of my inaction. I can be so focused on the origins of Theosophy or Norse Mythology or learning a wool craft but I drive 15 minutes to the shop without my wallet. I hear absolutely everything but I hate noise. I can talk for hours about what I am interested in but find it EXCRUCIATING to talk about something im not interested in. I experience really BIG feelings like empathy but have to remind myself how to display empathy (in words and body language). I feel like nothing makes sense but I am absolutely exhausted most of the time just trying to navigate how my brain works. This idea that there can be a combined diagnoses makes things more understandable but no less daunting. Thanks for your video.

[@wolfdreams2000]

I really understand this.

[@catherineoddie1317]

Taylor, thank you so much for this video. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 39 years old and lately I’m wondering whether there is more at play here. This video is ME. This constant internal fight, the exhaustion, the overwhelm, the wanting to do a million things but just staying home in bed, looking out of the window at the trees that part of me wants to be walking under. The self-referral Autism questionnaires in the UK do not cover any of this. Just the more stereotypically male traits. I wonder how long the medical patriarchy will take to catch up with the things that the Neurodivergent community knows…

[@simonegouws-delange9990]

I'm diagnosed ADHD and I'm working on getting my autism diagnosis. I honestly have to say that coping with adulthood has been so overwhelming that I go through phases of severe depression because I'm struggling with handling my own brain and then on top of it I have so many responsibilities as an adult. I have such a craving to be a go-getter, have a routine, and be determined, but then my ADHD just throws everything off and I'm all over the place, and never following through with a single to-do-list. I love reading and have bought so many non-fiction books but haven't read a single one because I can't seem to focus for long enough or retain the information I'm reading. I honestly get so frustrated with myself and it makes me cry... a lot. Do any of you ever just feel like running away and becoming a hermit that lives in the woods somewhere?

[@cannoliiii]

the cosmic timing of this video is absolutely uncanny, I just recently had the world altering realization that I may be autistic. I'm 18 and have struggled with adhd since elementary school. Ive been eating up you, and many other autistic creator's videos and all them resonate in such a specific and validating way. This one hit so incredibly home. I cannot thank you enough for creating such brilliant and comprehensive content like this Tay, it is so important ! 💌

[@sueannevangalen5186]

We've all been there. I'm happy for you, that you're exploring this about yourself at your age and not later in life. I hope it will impact your life in a positive way. Also, welcome to the channel!

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I also had a very similar experience. I believe Tay is making ground breaking strides in improving the Adult Autism Experience.

[@cannoliiii]

@@sueannevangalen5186 thank you so much and thank you for the warm welcome ♡

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@Robert 😭🙏

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@chloe thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you are finding the videos helpful and ech what sueanne said - so great to see you're discovering these things about yourself now. It can be life changing!

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

You made me laugh- sooo relatable not remembering the notes I myself wrote out😂. It’s absolutely frustrating reading something and being super excited to share it and not remembering it midway through explaining it.

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

I know and understand the material but it’s not always accessible when I want to use it.

[@helenayamez]

That's why I never tell jokes. Nevermind not being able to remember the punchline, I'm lost waaay before then. So embarrassing. I had to recite a 5 verse poem to the whole school when I was 11. I got halfway through the second verse and couldn't remember a thing so I just repeated the first verse 3 more times, said thank you and left the stage. I'd like to be able to tell you no-one noticed 😂

[@or7000]

@@helenayamez you just unlocked a memory of mine!! I had the same thing when I was like 10 and had to tell a joke on stage for the whole school including parents. I was half-way the joke when my mind just said NOPE and started to fill in the joke with random details and completely changing the story line of the joke. Afterwards a boy in my class came to me and asked: “you told it wrong didn’t you?” and I responded: no… it was another version i found on the internet🥲🥲

[@helenayamez]

@@or7000 that's funny but awful at the same time. The memory blanks are a nightmare aren't they. Can make you look so stupid which is why people with ASD and/or ADHD can end up being so underestimated.

[@channelk7402]

My problem is I'm like Balky, remember him from Perfect Strangers?? 😂 I can never quite remember a saying & always seem to get it wrong, so have been making fun of myself in front of people for years...

[@robertwarbrick7560]

The tightwire act of walking between ASD and ADD is challenging, but when the two align: 💪🤓🤙.

[@BillieGote]

Have you found a job/career choice that provides that sweet spot between the two? Inquiring minds...

[@robertwarbrick7560]

@@BillieGote I have had a few jobs that I have enjoyed while working there. I also have other health commodities that keep my job-retention cycling, full disclosure. I enjoyed information technology/computer repair, employment technician/job coach, tutoring, and prep cook work. If I had to choose a career path knowing what I know now, then I would recommend case management, psychology, coding/programming/game design, electronics, project management, product testing, or a solid trades profession. I find jobs/careers with built-in structure to calm my ASD, and jobs/careers with creativity/change opportunities to satisfy my ADHD. I am currently trying to self-start my own business to have more control over scheduling and environmental stimuli.

[@robertwarbrick7560]

@@BillieGote Also, I present more dominantly as ASD than ADHD. I think one should take into account where they fall on this "spectrum" when considering jobs/careers, if they have both conditions.

[@joannecarroll5504]

My son was diagnosed with ADHD (combined type), ODD, Asperger's & a load of other stuff at least 10 years before it was considered possible according to your American DSM. Are Australian Doctors more forward-thinking? It was my adult son who asked, after years of his own experience, "Mum, were you ever tested on the spectrum?" I explained that there was no spectrum when I was a kid. Nor were there learning difficulties, we were just naughty kids who were "just plain stupid / lazy" in my brother's case or "too smart for their own good" & "highly strung" in mine. I learned to mask early & excel at school, completing high school more than 1yr early & winning/placing in various local competitions. I also remember being so afraid of going out socially that I'd vomit while dressing or that my make-up would melt off from panic sweat. Have multiple diagnoses already, but hearing your list reinforces my thoughts on my son's suspicions. When he says "told ya, you're a AspieMum" I think we're definitely similar.

[@Dancestar1981]

It’s more than 80 percent genetic

[@joannecarroll5504]

@@Dancestar1981 Please don't invent statistics - particularly ones that make no sense - that's just not how genes work. If you genuinely do want to learn more, try looking up the science of Epigenetics. It's still a very young branch of genetics, but current research provides some v interesting reading. Genuine online scientific info is best found on Google Scholar, where you can locate the actual research papers & articles published to scientific journals etc.

[@genevieveflores1159]

You are awesome! I am obsessed with neuroscience. I have Complex PTSD and ADHD- everything you said about your experience with Autism and ADHD is exactly what I deal with. I just realized that I am neurodiverse because of your videos. Your video with your husband giving tips for neurotypical spouses was so helpful for me to understand myself. Thank you!!!!!! I never knew other people felt this way- I thought something was wrong with me

[@morelikekoolva]

I loved the "really want to share this with you but I don't remember what I just read and my brain thinks crocheting sounds really fun right now." So relatable.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha im glad im not the only one. :) 🧶

[@kymelatejasi]

This would explain so many of the contradictions I have noticed while trying to learn more about my personality. I started learning all of this with things like the MBTI, I'm self diagnosed ADHD, and am only just learning about autism, and more things are clicking into place now. Thank you for this channel!

[@joycebrewer4150]

You have described me better than anybody else I've ever heard! I got my formal Asperger's diagnosis at 59, and it explained a lot about me, and my family, but not everything. Now just days short of 64, I feel understood finally. THANK YOU!!!

[@kbencsik1]

Thank you so much. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 63. Three of my granddaughters have ADHD, and the one is on the spectrum, with OCD and autism. I really appreciate the information you share. It's so important!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re very welcome! Thanks for your comment. 💕

[@Savvy1718]

This video makes me feel so seen like very little else has. If I ticked off all the ways I related exactly to what you said I'd be summarizing a lot of the video. Needing to stim but getting angry at other people who stim, only really succeeding with structure and routine and careful planning of events but rebelling against those very things, decision making, and rotating intense special interests and hobbies have to be my tops, though. "I don't really remember anything that you just read and it would be really fun to crochet right now" - that line pulled me straight away from the puzzle game I was playing to focus my attention so I could listen and I had to pause both it and the video to laugh. I ended up doing that several times in that 5 minutes of the video. Thank you for all the confirmation and validation, this is a great resource!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate it. Welcome to the community!

[@sweetwaterfarm2928]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD at 65!. Explains a lot!!. I have one son and four grandkids as well as to DIL's that have been diagnosed. The ability to understand not only myself but the others in my family has taken such a load off. We all no longer have unrealistic expectations of each other. I provide stemming activities when we are together for family events, like rolling up yarn into balls for the DIL that loves to crochet, or working with clay since pottery is my hobby. What a difference a little knowledge and understanding can make. Thanks so much for cutting through all the jargon about these diagnosis's and making it simple for the non diagnosed family members to understand.

[@favourjohn312]

I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now as his speech and social skill has improved

[@jessicashatswell9813]

Thank you so much for posting this. You explained everything I go through perfectly. I have such a hard time explaining it to family, it's also been extremely hard understanding everything myself. The push and pull, back and forth. It is so frustrating! And extremely exhausting.😢

[@ginnyjanisse1220]

The struggle of these two sides of the brain constantly opposing each other is the primary reason I feel such an intense level of burnout.

[@JK-ek5jv]

You literally just spoke my life!! The push-pull. Getting overwhelmed about wanting to do so many things and becoming frozen in inaction and not doing anything. After much inner healing work and peeling back layers of things I felt I "had" to do, I'm left with realizing how overwhelming basic life has always been for me. I'm new to all of this for myself and don't have a diagnosis. I know for sure that I have ADHD. The autism feels a bit more difficult to dial in on, because I have always had the typical view and also experience of working and being around boys on varying degrees of the spectrum. Until watching videos like yours that are opening my eyes to a lot about myself that I have kept hidden for my whole life (I'm in my 40s). It's like as I've healed, I've lost the ability to hide behind a mask or old coping mechanisms so it's all been flooding out. Unfortunately, this has meant a lot of meltdowns in front of my teenage son and I haven't had a clue as to how to explain it until now. I can't afford a formal diagnosis at this time, but feel like it could be helpful for my son so he can know it's not about him, and so I don't continue to feel like I'm defective. I greatly appreciate all that you've shared on your channel! I'm going to get your meltdown guide for sure. Thank you for helping me understand me better!! 💓

[@favourjohn312]

There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo KZbin channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions.

[@JK-ek5jv]

@@favourjohn312 Thank you. I’m so glad you found a way to help your son. I’ve seen lots of testimonials for kids who improved by detoxing heavy metals with advanced TRS too. I plan to start by looking at the issues I’m struggling with using Dreamtime Healing using Holographic Kinetics. People have experienced a lot of shifts in these areas with it. 💕

[@inairby4freedom]

Wow this is me too!!!! My kids look at me like I’m crazy 😢. I feel so sorry for them.

[@abbiemiles8952]

Hello! I’m 21 and self diagnosed with ASD and I have a diagnosis of ADHD as well, thank you so much for this video!❤️

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome! Thanks for your comment.

[@favourjohn312]

I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now as his speech and social skill has improved

[@tmac8394]

Holy shit!!! I thought I was the only one who ever felt any of this. I’ve never felt so alone growing up and also now at the age of 39. I’ve gone to rehab multiple times, read books, sought therapy and constantly had drug issues. I’ve never cud put my finger on it. I’m just now finding ur channel. Hopefully I can find sun answers. Thanku for ur diligence and personal understanding. I’m still hiding and I need sun answers. Thanku darling, u got a new subscriber ❤

[@secretfox8940]

With the organization thing, I love to make new organization systems. That way my "newness" is satisfied and my "organization" need is met. It usually takes the old system falling apart to start the new one, but the excitement of making it pretty helps get things going.

[@gruene-eule]

Omg the paying attention part really reminded me of myself (some autistic traits, still working everything out) and my room mate (ADHD). This happens almost everyday: I sit in the kitchen reading something for college, stimming away with my feet under the table. My room mate enters, drumming a really fast rhythm with his hands on his legs and it's making me crazyyyyyy but at the same time I can't stop doing the same thing under the table 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mookchie]

i think it’s too uncertain and early for me to self diagnose myself, but i’ve always thought of my self as a “self-contradicting” person.. whenever i tried doing those online tests for autism or adhd i never knew what to answer because some days i’m really impulsive and some days i’m really into routine. it’s really hard for me to figure out what’s “wrong” with me

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Friendly reminder that nothing is "wrong" with you though I understand the sentiment! I spent so long in therapy trying to get this point across that something was different about my brain that others just weren't understanding. And those self tests can be super confusing and vague. I hope we can reinvent them to be more easily accessible to people on the spectrum because many of us have a hard time answering those questions.

[@H0neybee_]

Dude,sameee

[@tiffanyberton]

"I don't really remember anything you just read, and it would be really fun to crochet right now" - I laughed SO hard because that's me to a T. Actually had a crochet project in my hands as you said it. Discovered ur channel recently, thanks you so so much for all the amazing info. I believe I have ASD and your videos are helping me greatly.

[@carleenmccaffery619]

The part where you described wanting to go outside and do the things you know you love to do, and you know will bring you joy or even peace... and then arguing with yourself that staying home is good... this is me nearly every dang day. My eyes just started leaking as what you said hit home.. this is my most hated part of myself. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone. And that it is ok to be frustrated at the broken-ness.

[@bolinhong2598]

There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo KZbin channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions.

[@TheMusicQueen99]

i appreciate all the work you put into your videos!! you’ve created such a helpful and safe place for me as i’m learning all about my autism and adhd! definitely going to buy your meltdown guide and print out an emergency card! i struggle with regulating my emotions, specifically when it comes to anger/frustration/annoyance, and i would love to hear any tips you might have for that! thank you for another amazing video!!

[@eachlovediva]

This is so me and I feel your struggle. With various failures and successes I’ve managed to make it to 65 but I am so dysfunctional as I get older and more frustrated with myself. It feels hopeless but maybe there’s more to learn for aging adults with these issues. Love your content so don’t stop your valuable insights! Thank you so much!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome! Thank you for your comment.

[@jwilliams2545]

I'm turning 61 this month and both ASD abd ADD and it is hopeless for me. No one in my family believes this, including my husband. It's easier for them to believe I'm just lazy and antisocial.

[@favourjohn312]

There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo KZbin channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions.

[@visionvixxen]

Same here. So tired I don’t even want to explain anymore and I used to love to write or communicate. Will try again but I’m burned out and so tired of explaining myself to others in addition to myself….

[@visionvixxen]

@@jwilliams2545 feel you and currently overwhelmed about this…. Dropped out of life and relationships because I’m exhausted from trying and evaluating and not being understood or being judged It’s almost like suffering verbal abuse or emotional neglect- but you play a part Exhausted!

[@hazcatsophia]

Back in 2011, my nutritionist tested my vagus nerve to check recovery from fight or flight. I am not diagnosed autistic (nor ADD) and he was not testing for it. He told me that my recovery time was longer than most. Which made sense to me. When I get upset, it takes me a while to come back down. I try to avoid phone calls because they usually end up with me getting upset. Mostly because I am not prepared for the conversation. He gave me a list of 10 things to do to recover faster. Rub my eyes in the shower, chew gum, take a walk and some others. You are making things in my life clearer with your videos. 😊

[@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh]

Yes!!! I believe I am AuDHD, and I LOVE travel and spontaneity, but there’s still ways I HAVE to have routine or my day gets thrown off. Even if I am traveling, I wake up and do my devotions every day. And if I don’t (super rare) my whole day gets thrown off. If some things are done outside of routine, the ADHD kicks in and I forget. This whole video is so relatable!!!

[@passaggioalivello]

Thank you for spreading awareness and compassion. Your mission is remarkable.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🌈🦄💌

[@whitneymason406]

Really enjoyed this video and the live premieres and chats. Really makes my week! ❤

[@sueannevangalen5186]

Me, too. It makes my week.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yall are the best :)

[@frizzelfrazzel99]

I was diagnosed in kindergarten with A.D.H.D. and Auditory processing disorder! I have wondered if I have autism! Noises bother me

[@SaraTHTM869]

I appreciate this so much! I Am an inattentive ADHD mom with for sure 2 of my 4 kids dealing with these traits.

[@FourtoAdore]

I love Dr. Amen’s work! It’s wonderful for understanding.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I’m glad you said this! There are a lot of people who are very skeptical about his work. I get it. I’m not saying I accept all of his work, but you’ve gotta admit at least some of it is pretty fascinating!

[@Sunset1705]

Thank you so much. This video really helped me to understand myself more. And it’s really interesting to see how they work (or don’t work well😒) together. I am still learning about autism/adhd and learning to recognize them in my life. As in… things I’ve struggled with my whole life and maybe put other labels on like “lazy” or “fickle” … I am learning to recognize… “no, that’s autism!”. I also think it’s strange that doctors/therapists wouldn’t automatically assume that autism & adhd are logical co-morbidities. It seems obvious that they would present together more often than not. Excited to read through your guide!

[@jkjkjklololol07]

I feel so seen! Thank you for this!!

[@claireharriman4985]

This is my normal. Im only just coming to terms with this. At 50 it feels like a weight has been lifted finding this video. Thank you xx

[@JustKate1111]

I so appreciate your videos and again you hit the description of struggles right on!!! It can be difficult I am certain for persons to understand that ‘conflict’ and see it as an ‘inner’ conflict that we just need to ‘work out’ instead of respecting it as a part of us and trusting that things do settle out….sometimes under a blanket and sometime kayaking;)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Well said!

[@tainadeoliveira]

The last few months have been a journey of self discovery and understanding. I started recognizing ADHD first and I am about to get my official diagnosis, together with social anxiety. Thing is I never understood why social situations started causing me so much anxiety. Now just recently I saw a lot of autistic traits in myself. Like a lot. And I'm thinking about having that assessed as well, though I am reluctant becausee I don't know how my husband will respond. I feel AdHD is more "dominant", the autistic traits are more personal.. internalized? They seem to have affected my social life a lot more, and now I don't really talk to people other than my husband on a daily basis so I haven't been having as much trouble as I had when I was in college for example. ADHD caused a lot more problems especially in my work. and I've grown so used to my autistic traits that I didn't talk about it with my psychologist. I did mention some of them before but my he kind of brushed it off (autism was not listed as one of his specialities btw, I sought him out because of ADHD) I took several competent tests meant to measure some autistic traits and scored quite high. The most confusing tho, with the AdHD, is that like you said I feel like I am pulled in two directions. On one side I really need excitement and new stuff, but on the other side I hate when things change or if people change my schedule I get pissed off. I have an idea of what I want to do at a given time but I struggle to get started and to end, so I make pretty loose schedules for my day. Idk it feels confusing, like trying to create a weird pattern of order amidst the chaos.

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I totally get where you are coming from in reguards to ordering the chaos. I, however, present more ASD than ADD. Anywho, the Medical field is overwhelmed and requires more self advocacy for diagnosis, in my experience. I got my diagnosis during the pandemic.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It can be challenging to distinguish between autism and adhd, and also I feel like each of those conditions is received very differently by society. I know it can be a difficult decision to share that info with people close to us.

[@sonyaopwaystagon5387]

I thought my kids were on the spectrum and I brought it up with my family doctor but I was dismissed because they didn’t display the typical symptoms. My middle daughter was diagnosed at age 17, she had extreme anxiety and it made it hard for her to be in school. I have been diagnosed with adhd when I was 40 and more recently I have been told I am on the autistic spectrum. I am on adhd meds and antidepressants that treat my anxiety. My daughter is not adhd at all and is on risperdone and anti anxiety medication. Also now my grandson has typical autistic symptoms and his paediatrician said they will monitor him. He head bangs and rocks and also tosses himself backwards from chairs. He talks and communicates but sometimes he acts like no one is around or only acknowledges specific people.

[@sunnieA]

this is spot on 💀👏🏽

[@MJBowie]

Ah this sounds like it was written about me. I heavily relate to the list making and organization, routines, over:under stimulation, etc.

[@Rorygloryhole]

This has definitely helped me some as I’ve started my journey on autism discovery, if that makes sense. I couldn’t put it in words as the articles I’ve found for the comorbidity just don’t seem to be helpful. And this has summed it up in ways I could never word.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for your comment and feedback! I appreciate it and glad the video has been helpful to you.

[@favourjohn312]

I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on KZbin. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too

[@kiraharris919]

I literally relate to you on every level. We're the same age and became aware of autism at the same age. I can't afford mental health support so I don't have any official diagnoses, but thank you so much for the work you do! You've helped me to better understand myself, give myself grace, and find helpful tools to better manage my mental health.

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor

[@hrobert745]

I’m so happy to have found your channel! I’m learning so much and it’s bringing back a lot of memories from childhood that never made much sense to me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad you’re here!

[@jbullets5964]

So relatable. Thank you 💕

[@nicoleo6123]

Wow, I have never felt so seen in my life. I couldn’t believe how accurate the explanations of how I feel every second of everyday was coming out of someone else’s mouth, I could cry. I was diagnosed ADHD inattentive type and have been suspecting that I’m on the Autism spectrum but this just cemented it for me. I’m in awe and I feel so validated. Thank you!

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa. God bless you doctor

[@charlottemary86]

You're the first person who sounds almost 100 percent like me. I think I might have attributes of ADHD and have been mulling around with discussing medications to see if they help.

[@DerFlanagan]

I keep refuting that I have ADHD (on top of my autism) but jfc, I was trying to take notes from this video & it literally took me 4 & a half hours to finish because I kept getting distracted with other things, doing other tasks, hyper-fixating on other current special interests, etc., & WOW. I just drove myself absolutely insane! At this point I really don't think I'm allowed to continue thinking I probably don't have ADHD. So, thank you for the incredibly helpful video. You were able to put into words SO many things that I've been trying to explain or define for SO long now.

[@kirzhe8123]

I have never heard someone explain my inner struggle more accurately. I have been diagnosed with ADHD a few weeks ago and I think I will be going for round 2 for autism.

[@ramonshoopeak7645]

thank you for your video, it help me to understand the situation. My girlfriend have autism and adhd, and your description of the struggles are very helpful and accurate. I have a lot of difficulties to make her feel safe and to present my help, when she is struggling between autism and adhd. There is a lot of videos about autism, but none of them are giving advice on how to live and react with an autistic person. Maybe you will be interested by making a video to explain what do you expect and want, in t’ose situations,about what can help you, or what kind of support can be beneficial. It could be interesting because you are explaining very clearly the opposite feelings you are into Thanks again

[@names_salt_and_idk_whats_g6527]

Great video! Just to let you know you know, add is now classified as adhd. Just the internalized sort! So add is an outdated term!

[@potatozinc]

Thank you for posting this.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome

[@thepanda9782]

Thank you for this video 💗 it is so well done, and I love how many resources you've added!

[@motorcyclehair]

Such a valuable video, Taylor. Alot of people don't know that before 2013 ADHD/ASD was not given as a dual diagnosis. It's so challenging having both. I am both & it is nearly impossible to put these issues into words--but you did it! I received a scan from Dr. Amen in 2011 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. Sadly, I went recently before finding my new Dr. that specializes in autism for eval. They told me at the amen clinics that unless you were extremely underactive in the cerebellum or had a 'ring of fire' with a spike through the anterior cingulate gyrus that connects to the PFC--then they can't diagnose autism. It's such a missed opportunity in my book....I wish he'd go into autism more. But, I'd say--even though it did say the Dr. at the Amen Clinics I chose specialized in autism....she admitted it was only children & only 1 she had diagnosed. I LOVE Dr. Amen...I don't see this as a reflection on him, but I wish they had been more transparent--bc that was one expensive apt. They shouldn't advertise that they can do a scan & dx autism on their website. My hope is that one day they get better at it, because it saddens me to think of all the people who go for autism dx & get told they aren't when they truly are. Ok--LONG msg, sorry.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is insightful and I'm so glad you shared this with me. Sooo interesting about the parts of the brain that need to present in certain ways for an autism diagnosis. I have been hoping for years that Dr. Amen will dip into autism research more now that it is becoming more widely studied. I would love to learn how brain scans reflect different autistic challenges and vice versa. Thanks again for sharing this!

[@motorcyclehair]

@@MomontheSpectrum Look at "Ring of fire" pattern. I was told, I was almost that. I think that it may be possible that bc he's only staying in the ADHD realm--he may actually be dx'ing adhd when they are dual diagnosis or autistic. I love Dr. Amen, it's not any slam at him--but as you/I know, the crossover of both--He REALLY should address it in his scan evaluations. I actually had 'Asperger's' listed on my written checklist completed by my mom.....but sadly, it wasn't talked about/mentioned at all. I love looking at my scans & seeing that in there--I had no idea, is what sparked me to seek evaluation. It was my 1st piece of the puzzle. I had 0 idea & old myth/world thinking on what autism actually is. This was in 2011, before the dual dx after 2013 (you/I both know)---so I guess the Dr. just picked the ADHD camp. I'm still fascinated by SPECT scans & I hope we get there one day!

[@Dancestar1981]

Scans don’t diagnose autism

[@Dancestar1981]

You don’t diagnose it through a brain scan go to a clinical psychologist who specialises in Autism in adults and get a diagnosis

[@ashcar6903]

This video was so soothing. I am trans masc, but I am still trying to learn more about gender differences in case they apply to me. A lot of it made me kind of dysphoric but you are very nice to listen to.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for the feedback!

[@aylahhazelroselily6010]

Thank you so much for sharing this.... this is the most relatable video I've seen yet on these topics. . .

[@favourjohn312]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo

[@findingmyowntwofeet]

Oh my goodness. This describes my issues with managing perfectly.

[@Askalott]

Your videos are wonderful. I'm learning a lot. I feel like I can relate to so much. ADHD doesn't surprise me, but I'm pretty shocked that I might be on the autism spectrum. But then again I wonder how many of my symptoms can be explained by PTSD and childhood trauma. The lines get so blurred. I think the most important takeaway is that it isn't my fault my brain works this way, lol.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes the lines can be blurry but you’re right - the bottom line is to empower yourself with resources and tools to live a happier and healthier life!

[@Askalott]

@@MomontheSpectrum 100%, thanks for the reply!

[@Dancestar1981]

You experience CPTSD and trauma as a child because you are Neurodiverse I did too. I was bullied all through primary and secondary school and in the workforce

[@mariandavis7953]

I have literally just discovered your channel a few minutes ago. My 12 year old granddaughter has recently been diagnosed with Autism so I have been looking into it and I am realising that at the grand old age of 64 I may be on the spectrum and possibly have ADHD too. So many things are falling into place, I think I may be in a state of shock. My granddaughter was diagnosed through school but I do not have a clue about how to get diagnosed myself.

[@whitneymason406]

My son was diagnosed autistic when he was 2. I am 30 and I just got my diagnosis last year. My mom suspects she's autistic too! Start a conversation with your general practitioner. They can give you a referral to a specialist who can diagnosis you.

[@YukeJuanita]

thank you for making this video, sharing your symptoms. It help me a lot to understand my self :)

[@bolinhong2598]

There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo KZbin channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions.

[@FourtoAdore]

Yes! During evaluation, differential diagnosis is a challenge because of the overlap.

[@CherieH223]

Thank you for this video. It almost brought me to tears. I am 36, was diagnosed with adhd at 30, after recent traumatic events in my life my brain kinda switched and I am realizing I've been masking my whole life and I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. I'm meeting with my doctor next week to ask for a referral to a specialist. This video described me perfectly. I was wondering if you've also struggled with employment because of adhd and autism? I haven't been able to make it just 2 years at any job. I always have a meltdown and walk out or get fired.

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I realize this was not addressed to me, but I can relate with traumatic events and balancing ASD+ADD+employment. I also struggle with cycling employment at a 1-2 year interval. My ASD brain absorbs the new environment and learns all it can per job, then ADD brain gets bored and craves a new job. Also, energy demands and layered negative stimulus events usually wear me down enough to make job swaps. I am becoming more mindful of sensory issues/triggers in work environments and have been seeking work in sectors that tailor better to my needs. There are also organizations that can help with employment and job coaching. Hang in there!

[@CherieH223]

@Robert Warbrick I really appreciate your reply. I have 2 nephews that are diagnosed autistic and I'm positive my dad was as well, just undiagnosed. So, it seems logical that I would be predisposed to having it as well. Watching these videos and talking to others, like you, has been tremendously helpful. I'm hoping to get into a specialist soon.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@cherie yes employment has been a struggle for me. I have been self-employed most of my adult life because I just don't like being bound to someone else's schedule and I feel like my needs and abilities are verrrry different on a day-to-day basis. So sorry to hear you're facing similar challenges but it sounds like you are learning to seek the support you need and deserve! Hang in there! You are worth it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

well said @robert! Thanks for sharing this support

[@CherieH223]

@Mom on the Spectrum thank you very much! I am grateful to be on this journey of self discovery. So many things are starting to make sense to me now. Thank you for making these videos. They have been tremendously helpful for me.

[@BrieTheArtist]

This is the video I’ve been searching for! I’m diagnosed ADHD and the past couple of years I’ve been investigating the possibility that I’m also Autistic. I’ve rated reasonably high in online tests but then I doubt the possibility when I struggle to relate to many other reports of Autistic traits. I started to realise that this is due to 3 main reasons: 1) much of the information online is outdated and often refer to the stereotypical presentations; 2) my traits are not obvious and closely align with neurotypical behaviour or similar to other conditions such as ADHD, anxiety, depression etc; 3) My ADHD can sometimes contradict the Autistic traits making them even harder to identify. I tried researching this last point to see if my observation was accurate but there was little information on the interaction and presentation of both ADHD and Autism, especially in women. Your video helps fill this gap and completely validates what I believed about myself! Thank you so very much! I am now confident to self-identify as Autistic 💗 P.s I love your channel and obviously many others do too because your followers have grown exponentially! Thanks for your work! 🌸

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for your comment and welcome to the community! 🌸

[@Dippmip]

"1) much of the information online is outdated and often refer to the stereotypical presentations" no it's that 'the new information' is causing people to overdiagnose and makes the new label of autism have nothing in common with real autism. You should google HSP and see if that fits you more. "The confusion between HSP and ASD lies in the fact that both groups of people tend to get overwhelmed by environmental stimuli. Those with autism may panic, act out or shut down in response to overwhelming situations, and some highly sensitive children can do the same thing when they get overstimulated. But despite this overlap, ASD and HSP can be distinguished from each other based on the research that highlights their distinct differences. "

[@BrieTheArtist]

@@DippmipI am familiar with HSP and don’t need “schooling” from the comments of you tube. There is more to Autism than sensitivity and you denying a stranger’s self diagnosis is harmful rather than helpful.… but if you have new evidence on the “real autism”, I’m sure the community here will be interested to learn about how their Autistic identity is “fake”, as you’ve implied 🙄

[@altavanbrakel8674]

I felt so safe listening to this, less alone, overwhelmed, and lost with my ADD, raising a son on the autism spectrum. Thank you so much for these videos!

[@christinebaugh3963]

Thank you!! I totally resonated with this but was never able to articulate it. It is so awesome to have this self-awareness!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! You’re welcome.

[@favourjohn312]

I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now as his speech and social skill has improved

[@angelas1726]

I literally feel like you totally described my life. I always felt like that I was different but am so glad you described things that I do as well. I thought it was just me. Made me feel better that someone else understands.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Here is a 2 min video that outlines four important next steps you may be interested in! kzbin.info/www/bejne/pILRp3-Bp6t3obc (All of the info below is in this video, and there are resources in the description) The four key components are: 1) Don’t panic! There’s no need to do anything with this info yet. Also, being a part of the autistic community is pretty cool. 2) You may want to take some online assessments for more clarification (embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/) 3) Sit on this information and do some self reflection/connect with the autistic community to learn more about their lived experiences 4) Choose whether or not to seek diagnosis. It added a lot of self-compassion and understanding to my life and personally I’m so grateful for my diagnosis. If you follow the link to the video above, you can check the description for a list of online autism evaluation options.

[@alejandra9767]

I have adhd but I feel autistic too but doctor told me systoms overlap and it is only adhd. I have problems socialising but can do it to some extend but I am not good at making friends and I have some sutile sensoring Issues that I can hide quiet well but it Makes me difficult to focus.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for sharing this!

[@krystalestrella9098]

Thank you Taylor , I resonated so much with the feeling of needing organization, routine and then also need an outlet for spontaneity. I appreciate you talking about this makes so much sense .

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're so welcome!

[@jackiescribner9961]

Taylor! Thank you for describing this SO WELL. More puzzle pieces fell into place in my brain with this description, and it has given me some peace and understanding.♥️

[@KellieFullerSings]

During the pandemic I’ve had more time to watch KZbin videos and I’ve come to realize that I’m ADHD. Autism runs in my family but has only been diagnosed or seen in the males. Watching this video I identified 100% with every single thing. I am shook! Not saying that I am autistic but I also see a lot of this in my daughter. I will be pursuing it and learning more.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for your comment! You might want to check out the online assessments available at embrace-autism.com

[@robertwarbrick7560]

I think I was able to fly under the radar for an ASD diagnosis because of my ADD, and vice versa. Do you think it may have been a factor for you as well?

[@robertwarbrick7560]

Tay, I think you may have unearthed a tool for adult diagnostics. There are a number of people that are reporting a late ASD diagnosis with ADD/ADHD. This is huge! I have read about the overlap before but never had considered it a factor in later diagnosis. 💡

[@MsPopo81]

@@robertwarbrick7560 big time!

[@tom-leeallinnediego6903]

i relate so much thank you, this helped me understand myself better

[@rosakatrin007]

I got diagnosed at 51 and what a relief. As you said in one of your videos you are coming out of your shell and accepting the autism in the same time trying your very best to explain this to you loved ones that do not or will not understand or even do not care and think I am just playing games. I must have some kind of ADHD but the autism holds me back as I like to think all the way the whole circle not just jump into it. You mentioned also that it could take weeks before you actually go and get it done, what you decided to do weeks before but you were wondering how was the best way. I am there but sometimes i say, let's get this over with. Thank you for your videos they help me even more to understand myself. Love from Iceland

[@dk935]

Hi. I’m an attorney who is struggling a lot lately and they are unable to “rule out” autism and have diagnosed ADHD. I’m hoping to find a pen pal to correspond with occasionally to vent and commiserate, and hopefully I can help, too. If you’re up for it, please let me know. It would be nice to talk with someone who understands and has also successfully masked for a long time.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I'll be introducing something called Autistic Community Groups on my channel soon which will be a way for other autistic adults to connect and have discussion over autism-based topics.

[@harmony2074]

Hey! I'd be up for that!

[@carolefell-smith8477]

Wanting to tap my fingers on the table but getting really annoyed when someone else does it. YES!!!!! So relatable. Thank you.

[@kris4real20]

This is the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I have heard someone explain what I've been saying since I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2003 at 31 years old. I didn't know the DSM has updated to see that I struggled ALL MY LIFE with what I called "being a little bit ret***" in addition to ADHD. Today is the first time I've heard this. 😮🎉 MEEEEEEE!!!! ❤❤❤

[@briarroseO]

Great video, thank you. I can relate to all of these issues.

[@samg.2446]

I only got to your paper grab moment and I love the honesty and totally can relate. I can't wait to finish this video as a late dx autistic woman with adhd too!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

😎

[@staceydoucette7421]

This is so relatable, and presented in such a lighthearted way. You make me laugh about my struggles. That is a special gift!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for your comment Stacey!

[@janinebean4276]

Gardening and plants have been one of the only things that consistently helped me keep a routine. The routine, the sensory stimulation, the calm, the sunshine, the connection with nature, etc…swimming, music, teaching, and animals have also been long term

[@lightupthedark451]

You are very well spoken on this topic. I found this video to be very informative and relatable. Thank you.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! Thanks so much for the comment.