How I Got Fired

Dan's facepalmingly awkward yet funny-to-laugh-at adventures in customer service. fml. everything I say in this video is true!
..except that I've probably killed about 15 people. (I hope)
hope you all enjoyed!
Twitter - / danielhowell
Instagram - / danielhowell
Facebook - / danisnotonfire
Tumblr - / danielhowell
Merch - shop.danielhowell.com
Music: kevin macleod - incompetech.com

[@toph318]

Doesn't get fired for pushing a panic alarm. Doesn't get fired for napping under a table in someone's office at work, but gets fired for being awkward...Dan Howell ladies and gentlemen

[@k.boi.d]

hahaha

[@bradleym1322]

Haha lol that's just haha

[@emmathegirlalmighty1285]

That's what I thought xD

[@therubberducky6036]

He said the panic alarm incident only contributed towards him getting fired and and he also got away with the power nap XD

[@iicrazydreamer_8082]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@alishab6377]

It's kinda weird to think he got fired from ASDA and now they sell books and magazines with his faces on them.

[@niamhgordon726]

HAHAHAHHA

[@toad5917]

Haha

[@sarah-tr1pw]

True hahah

[@soph2325]

that's so strange

[@tdc3193]

LOL:D

[@sarahkruse9375]

Dan: "I can't wrap Christmas presents" Dan three years later: "PHIL YOU CALL THIS A WRAPPED PRESENT THERE IS A FLAP THATS NOT STUCK DOWN ASDFGHJKL WE MUST FIX THIS"

[@MrGameManIsCool]

Lmao hahahha

[@kateskrasin781]

True

[@CopperCassie]

He can only bully Phil :))))))

[@kateskrasin781]

+CopperCassie yep

[@eileen9629]

I was looking for a comment like this and I'm so glad I found it.

[@jumanasalman5211]

Danisonfired sorry, that had to be said.... ill leave now...

[@jumanasalman5211]

Oh sorry i actualy didnt know that.😊

[@cathrynoneill1207]

omg yas

[@meganbrooks6944]

V

[@gabriella-zr9bg]

👏🏼

[@bookishequestrian445]

Hi

[@tylerjosephsukulele8497]

Dan: I can't wrap Christmas presents A few years later and he is yelling at Phil for his wrapping skills😂

[@vyper9497]

it all makes sense now

[@ilohefalter]

OMG 😂😂

[@blackk_rose_]

+Pentatonixphangirl I was thinkin exactly the same :D

[@sophedwards3839]

I thought he said "wreck" presents😂😂😂😂😂

[@AnshikaAgrawal2002]

YESSSS

[@dyedviolet7349]

Is it possible to be Internet Socially Awkward?

[@asauguste3022]

yes.

[@AHam-qv4vh]

sí

[@lexiedixon8710]

aparrently for dan it is .

[@Olivetree80]

Yess, it's level 100 of being socially awkward

[@nelea1008]

a thing like that exists

[@raindappleleafdapple4036]

Mom: Set up the table for dinner! Me: Okay! * whispers * Just one six minute video...

[@someonessidechannel1485]

HAHAHAHA ...Same.

[@loganweeks5499]

I DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER RELATED TO SOMETHING MORE THAN IVE RELATED TO THIS

[@raindappleleafdapple4036]

Priscilla Johnson

[@meganpostle1919]

I relate soooo much

[@growleen4782]

Literally me when I have to do anything.

[@SassySoda]

Every time Dan pulls a party popper, it just reminds me of his very first video and i can't help but laugh. I love him.

[@BigBoyEmma]

Same

[@himynameislandry4976]

Sassy Soda SAME!!!!!!

[@cromchyboi1554]

Hi. I'm [Dan].

[@claywettasinghe1322]

Same

[@elizabethschuyler-hamilton7722]

Same

[@tobitoes1052]

One time my grandad pulled a sickie to go to the cricket... his boss saw him at the game on TV.

[@princedarkness8029]

omg HAHA

[@shegoeshometoacactuss3169]

Lol

[@louiseclarke8948]

Lmao

[@oofaloompa4659]

+i used to be somebody omg tour profile picture

[@louiseclarke8948]

dramallama ;)

[@zoeishere5910]

I cant belive you sold an axe to a kid? wtf daniel. XD

[@kyliekarsh3584]

awkwardness controls us all

[@emms0003]

I'm your 666th like .... Mwa haha

[@claudiaaguilar9376]

considering how awkward he is I can believe it

[@eb7446]

Are we sure he just deep down wanted to be fired? There's some Freudian psychology at work in his mess ups at part time jobs.

[@kaitlinshaw1405]

Zo

[@bluestar7973]

At my work, someone ALWAYS asks me where the most random things are that I don't know a flying frisbee about.

[@sleeplessdoe2097]

Someone always asks me about spring water and if anything is "in the back". I work at Wendy's.

[@growleen4782]

Now I know why I can never find the beef jerky in stores.

[@forrestparsons5155]

Bluestar797

[@TearsofaGhost]

I hate working retail. I hate when someone's standing right in front of something and they ask where it is. Like dumbass open your eyes. Or they have two similar products and ask which one's better. Like how the fuck do you expect me to know? One time someone was looking at pans and kept picking ones up and asking me if it was oven safe, like bitch if it doesn't say on the package then how am I supposed to know. I'm not a fucking pan expert. This isn't a cooking store.

[@adrianoines521]

I work at lush so its easy af

[@tove8719]

I feel slightly less awkward now

[@weepieishere8840]

me too

[@um5621]

I can never feel less awkward.

[@un_heavenly]

"Now my house isn't going to explode."

[@icyangelica7159]

I laughed way too hard on that part

[@SilvrSunRays]

"Eheh. That's ok."

[@gikigirlz9411]

"Ok run. Run. Far away."

[@nikkidombaugh]

😂😂😂

[@novaisnotacat]

"That had happened 4 or 5 times a day."

[@abbeygoodridge5483]

"Happy leap year" Omg it's a leap year today o.o

[@Gijane3]

Same

[@shegoeshometoacactuss3169]

WE ARE ALL DYING AAAAAAHH

[@nodoby]

Same! :D

[@emilychen1600]

I see bryana holly 👀

[@abbeygoodridge5483]

em chen 😏

[@name-mb2rz]

How i got Danisnotonfired lol

[@paytonspamiltom7283]

THE PUNS

[@zekiawilliams6303]

😂😂😂

[@vmhh2217]

Dan... u... sold... an axe... to... a... kid... what is life anymore😂😂😂

[@Rubyboydrag]

im a young teenager and im looking for a good role model, then i found you... im going to jail

[@char8109]

Haha

[@neverupload2802]

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!!

[@reck1essandrest1ess50]

Same

[@darkraine6612]

+Jake Barra pretty much the same thing for me...andd this would happen to me since I'm such an awkward person around people..yeah.

[@maryispanda1877]

We all have done the same

[@sugarwax3154]

I'm laying in my bed, drinking iced coffee in a mug, and eating Cheetos at 3 am. What am I doing with my life

[@chi8572]

You're being a champion at it, that's what

[@sugarwax3154]

+Nugget Chicken Thank you. 😂

[@jessicacook379]

I'm like pooing everywhere

[@josefaferreirasoto7015]

You are doing what I want to do with my life

[@memelordhowellsmolbeanlest888]

Phanicatthetwentyonemcrcybabies omg i thought you wrote a Cheeto Sandwich i was like "......... NEW INVENTION!!!!!!!!!"

[@mockingariana2]

my stomach hurts from laughing

[@mtsw2570]

*_same_*

[@daichisawamura20yearsago64]

No one cares.

[@TheDaxter234]

Did he say "Danecdotes"?

[@charmablewolf7736]

yup :3

[@meisjj]

HE DID HAHAHAGA

[@gguuki]

Yeah. he made up this thing called "Danecdotes" which are pretty much anecdotes but with Dan

[@Epialesvibes]

He said Danecdotes.

[@scoobertdoobert8332]

how arkward would it be if dan's manager saw this video...

[@mackenziesauer9756]

OMG that would be so awkward!!

[@luvbird]

It's funny cause he got *fired* for selling a *fire* *axe*.

[@haniasmektata7933]

He didnt get fired because of that He was fired for being akward x'D

[@CinnamonVulpes]

10/10 Dan Is Not On *Fire* got *fired* for selling a *fire* axe

[@haniasmektata7933]

Лиса и игровом мирЕ looool

[@jemmawright8378]

It was for being too awkward actually but yea

[@catziman]

Brink Edendon't get fired craft

[@pongsiewwee6957]

What Dan's tag said: I'm New What I read: I'm Newt ..... *cries over Page 250*

[@howabsurd.]

Oh no...

[@unknownflowergirl3593]

Noo 😢

[@alaciamichelle3090]

We DO NOT speak of that page!

[@nicolepatrao5424]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@czesiabrzeczyszczykiewicz2894]

Nooo why 😢

[@michellehinds7012]

at my work there used to be a guy who whenever anyone asked were something was he'd send them to isle 13

[@reallyshey8488]

lmao hahahahaha

[@oh_just_ignore_me6220]

What about isle of flightless birds?

[@sapphokdg]

+Whatevs_13 wrong kind of isle but I appreciate the tøp reference 😆

[@chardaephillips9302]

Aisle*

[@weepieishere8840]

same

[@keepXonXrockin]

The "Imnew" joke get's me every time. every god damn time.

[@annasnotabanana]

I'm really scared right now because I'm really sick but my mom refused to call my school to tell them I wouldn't be there, so I'm paranoid that a cop is gonna show up at my door at any second. SO I'm watching all of Dan's Reasons Why Dan's A Fail videos so I remember that I'm not alone in this unfair universe

[@NTonks-xn4tv]

AnnaIsNotABanana 😂😂

[@celine.6461]

+AnnaIsNotABanana any updates?

[@annasnotabanana]

runawayluek No cops ever showed up and I never got called down to the office so I think it's all good lmao

[@emilymarierobertson]

AnnaIsNotABanana I missed 47 days of school my freshman year, and nothing happened but a visit from a truancy officer to our apartment. Literally nothing happened to me, and I was never punished or had a phone call checking on us. Missing ONE DAY is beyond okay with the school as long as it's not a regular thing. Do not worry.

[@kenziecole_green2789]

AnnaIsNotABanana awww I hope your better by now and the cop didn't show up hopefully

[@DumbSnowman]

this has been in my watch later playlist since he released this...

[@elliotpage7651]

Why

[@callmetrash1381]

Wtf why?

[@mackenziejoy600]

Why????

[@icdeku]

okay that's hilarious i have so many questions

[@illogicalaj828]

How many videos are in it?

[@dearestdalya8562]

When my aunt worked at Home Depot, if someone asked her for absolutely anything, she would just speak in Hebrew, usually just saying random words. And then she met someone who spoke Hebrew. That's how she was fired

[@greysonalex]

lol

[@multifanderisverycrafty]

Oh no.

[@sectorzisnumbuhone]

Wow. XD

[@caitlyn4175]

but he still has the nametag though

[@harshithaavinay9901]

lol yea

[@shrimpieshoo1671]

"Oh no really why?" "Oh no." "Oh no really? Heh." "Yeah yeah I understand." HOLY SHIT I DIED THE SARCASM

[@officialtrashqueen9083]

same 😂😂

[@estellaperez405]

Lol lov yor name

[@zynite3804]

HI

[@lillygreen3693]

So Dan had only made 46 videos and he already had a merch line..... meanwhile my parents keep forgetting my name

[@haliaaa]

Lilly Green i think my parents forgot that they have a daughter

[@greysonalex]

my grandma mix me up sometimes since i have a sister and a cousin who stays at my grandmas often

[@stephannytorres1667]

I am literally deceased at Dan's impression of his mum XD

[@jakebello7988]

“He’s at Reading Festival with his friends! LoL!”

[@nikkiblack9964]

this is why i dont even attempt to work tbh

[@hannahfisher5895]

okay same

[@cube5750]

how do you pay bills lol

[@nikkiblack9964]

i dont...i just cry

[@hafsahali2024]

+Sarcastic Sloth Don't cry CRAFT PROTIP

[@nikkiblack9964]

Laama Simmer JEEZ i walked right into it that was so perfect too a+

[@puggles-bb2ps]

i wish i could click the like button more

[@puggles-bb2ps]

wow some1 liked this comment,wow just wow

[@puggles-bb2ps]

im confused can some1 leave a comment

[@cakeclark713]

Yellow leather red leather

[@puggles-bb2ps]

Cake Clark yay

[@puggles-bb2ps]

***** ?

[@amazingphanisntnfire2679]

Omg in my local ASDA about a year ago there was a massive poster that had Dan and phils faces on and it said the amazing tour is not on fire is coming soon lol

[@carenkoh]

aw it's kinda adorable how red he is from being so embarrassed even years later

[@katiekeller9254]

So basically, rules for working in retail: 1. Don't sell an ax to a twelve year old. 2. Don't call your boss and tell them you have diarrhea in order to get out of work.

[@jennyscalise3253]

I tell my bosses I have diarrhea all the time. No joke.

[@LouiseKlinkenberg]

3. also don't have diarrhoea

[@thecinematicmind]

3. Don’t press the big red button 4. Sleep before work and don’t get too drunk.

[@carmellababbitt1130]

whos watching this in 2015 and having a danathon

[@caseyharrington4947]

Me!

[@MrCommentor2]

I've done that at least twice in February 2015 alone.

[@elyse8272]

Me

[@ashyybumbum7769]

me

[@shannon9741]

meeee

[@madiandbrianna9636]

This has nothing to do with the video but I just remembered it and wanted to share it: I was at a father-daughter dance for kindergarten-8th grade. 70% of the girls were kindergarteners, and I was so awkward because I'M HORRIBLE with kids under 6. My friend Emily was hitting it up with tons of little girls and I was just hangin out with my dad like,"Please can we leave." So, later I was getting a cupcake with Emily, and a little girl came up to me and asked,"Do you want to dance with me?" Being me, I tensed up, gave an awkward smile, and said,"Uh, that's okay!" Then I turned and walked away without looking back. So yeah... That says a lot about me😂

[@unknownunknown3140]

+ Madi and Brianna That's a different, uhm, ah- story.

[@jasminmalone3524]

Madi and Brianna i was at a valontimes dance my boyfrend was dancing with his ex really flerty like so i went and got a cup of drink and pored it down his bake and told him to go dance with her now then me and her got in a fight she spent 6 hours geting redy i spent 1 hour i riped her 2 hour heir out

[@midnightshutdown]

this makes my 'getting fired' stories look like getting a pat on the back and a good referral

[@thedemiselenaa]

imnobody lmaoooo

[@Ismelllikethestreet]

That cover up for 'Asda' though 😂

[@phantrashandbandtrash4887]

ikr omg

[@cammarc]

OMG! U don't know how 2 speak Internet! *dat *tho

[@roeamv]

+Andrew Bulger or she knows how to speak English! =D

[@cammarc]

***** I know it's correct. I was just kidding. .

[@roeamv]

Andrew Bulger I know, I'm a very sarcastic person and I tend to use it on the internet when you can't really tell xD I apologize if it was taken offensively.

[@marteenie7189]

He got fired because he went to Reading Festival. Now he got to host it and interview bands with Phil. I'M LIKE A PROUD MOM. I'M CRYING.

[@sophiegeppert]

Dan should do the calling in sick to places I don't work at with Phil 😂😂

[@emilymarierobertson]

Sophie Geppert YEAHHHH

[@kittycat7471]

+

[@brandygriggs7243]

This needs to happen now.

[@MidcoreGamer]

I had to watch this after getting fired from my first job in only 1 and a half months. Its depressing :(

[@zoemattey9399]

Unknown what happened? :o

[@popsicko6493]

At least you're not like my friend who got fired from her cafe job after 5 days for no reason.

[@zoemattey9399]

Unknown I'm coming back to this since I got fired this thursday after exactly two months lol. I haven't signed a contract yet so after asking my boss something about next week on WhatsApp, he was like 'I'm hella annoyed with you asking questions so I'm making up reasons for you to be fired'. I cried and then I laughed and then I did both because it was just so ridiculous.

[@twentyonephansatthepitypar1131]

Zoey Mattey really?

[@candidcurlychloe]

Am I the only American who has ZERO idea what store Dan is referring too?

[@gwyn3642]

Walmart basically

[@candidcurlychloe]

Gwyneth Griffiths yeah umm google taught me that lol thanks tho

[@amber6300]

Hes referring to Asda which is basically the British version of Walmart

[@AbraminWonderland]

+Chloe Pineapples Asda, which is the UK equivilent and sister company to Walmart

[@moonmelodies8974]

It's a British store called Asda.

[@khjwyf_]

0:57 "Hello there, Imnu (I'm new)." I. Fucking. Died. I cannot breathe.

[@sammiss3804]

I quit my jobs before they fire me so I don't kill myself from rejection

[@stupidgiraffe7804]

" kill me, kill me, kill me " same

[@jakebello7988]

Stupid Giraffe “please, god, help...”

[@Charmynox]

"Oh yeah everywhere. Just all over the floor.." Is this what inspired Kittens & Steamrollers or...

[@missphoeb]

"And then the police came and I got shouted at" My whole life ^_^

[@dainty.tricia]

I died laughing when he said Danicdote!

[@lovebotcalum]

TrishyFishy25 I died when he smelled the popper.. I'm weird.

[@knittedrachael]

can i just say two things 1) this is what happens when you hire young, inexperienced staff and do not give them adequate training 2) this is what happens when you hire young, inexperienced staff and do not pay them enough so they do not feel valued and therefore do not give a shirt about a) their job or b) your company

[@shayjones5495]

rewatching Dan and Phil's older videos is great.

[@Sbabaragnao90]

I know right ❤️

[@shayjones5495]

The memorieees and Dans fringe XD

[@summert0377]

His first video made me cringe so hard oh my god!

[@shayjones5495]

Summer Taher omfg yessss sometimes I just watch his first one and then watch one or two of his newer videos and wonder how the hell he went from that to THAT, yknow? Like...it's monumental.

[@summert0377]

Shay Jones Ah, it's so funny! He was even more awkward then he is now! I have a playlist of his video's and I'm watching them oldest to newest xD

[@stedmangg]

1:19 Doesn't censor "fuck" 3:36 Censors "fucking"

[@stedmangg]

...is what it doesn't make.

[@esteezeller8567]

***** He does that in other videos too. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I mean it's already illogical censoring one video but not another but WITHIN one video it's just absolutely pointless. Oh Dan.

[@hannahmccollough]

Sophie T maybe he missed it while editing by mistake...

[@esteezeller8567]

Yeah but that happens a lot.

[@eclecticgal2]

It's okay as a noun, but an adjective?! God forbid!! lol

[@RandomlyCuteTV]

"instead of just finding someone to help them....*acts like he knows what he's doing*" OKAY BUT I WORK AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT AND I DONT KNOW A LOT ABOHT THE FOOD SO WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHATS IN A DISH I JUST MAKE UP SHIT INSTEAD OF ASKING A CO WORKER

[@shortgrain7893]

Omg Dan worked at retail XD Domics did as well and he hated it like you did Dan.

[@shortgrain7893]

WafflesAndWifi Yay!!!! :3

[@noahatlas5240]

Working at a grocery store with social anxiety is just awful

[@zeldabelle]

I feel your pain! I'm autistic and I was in pets at home with my mum and I went to a different aisle with my puppy when this woman came up to me and started talking to me and I freaked out (I'm not very good at social interaction!😋) but I kept it together till we got in the car and had a massive panic attack and then we got stuck in traffic! I fail at life!

[@887lizzieb]

Eve Cushnaghan i feel for you. i am autistic aswell :'(

[@noahatlas5240]

Eve Cushnaghan HUGS FOR EVERYONE

[@zeldabelle]

*HUGS BACK*😜

[@luna-tc5sg]

My phone just had a stroke and crashed KZbin. Ughhh

[@CoolVictor2002]

Skylar West because dan is too awesome....

[@fatimas9544]

***** *universe

[@CoolVictor2002]

***** dam it why did you comment? your stealing my like buttons! XD

[@heatherwillbanks9596]

Sorry.... Had a stroke

[@luna-tc5sg]

Whoops, had a stroke

[@user-uz8oz5bv6p]

i Watched this age 9 and now im 18 and the stories of focus still haunt me and make me panic at my retail job

[@faith5831]

This is literally my third comment on this video. I commented once 2 months ago and once a week ago. This is one of my favorite of his videos.

[@skroot7975]

You got fired, because you're so hot. Too hot for them!

[@inesfrancisco4001]

Agree

[@mariapukkila9122]

they couldn't handle dan

[@underderry9243]

+SkrootNissu Yoctomind too hot, hot dan

[@dayodavis9148]

+Cyrene Howlter 😂😂I had a coach named Dan and we used to say that

[@samanthaseddon1463]

he got fired becuz he's hot then they had to put him out that's why he got fired

[@emilyshayde1341]

I don't know if I want Dan or want to be dan

[@harleyquinn1329]

Probably want Dan, since he gets in a lot of trouble

[@PhobeBarrymore]

I would want to be Dan, then you get to look in the mirror AND live with Phil Lester.

[@laurajan8569]

BE DAN

[@peachesbloom]

his diarrhea excuse is my cramps excuse (i don't have cramps)

[@RandomJojo]

Lucky. I use cramps as an excuse because I actually have them really bad but no one believes me I had to run a mile it was terrible

[@savannahaleksic5965]

Luiza Moretti I don't get them often but when I do it hurts bad

[@popsicko6493]

+Random Jojo (Jordan Budnar) I'm the same. Usually on the first day I start I have crippling pain and I keep going hot and cold (feels like my skin is breathing), everything is brighter and over exposed and I feel like I'm gonna past out or throw up.

[@svanaiceland232]

Angelynn I despise the fact that you're not having cramps, IT'S UNFAIR

[@sashiloo]

Did he...did he say "Danecdotes"?

[@xemeriax207]

+Aiman Fatima Yes he did...

[@elliotpage7651]

Welcome to the phandom you realised that he's insane now you will never escape

[@iLyddz]

Dan is probably the reason why Focus is no longer in business...

[@riverstylesnoble5996]

yay im not the only one who likes the smell of party poppers

[@karonpatterson9433]

I love the smell too, at parties I always pick up the paper and smell it. I'm weird.

[@riverstylesnoble5996]

Megan Smith either we're both weird or we're just slightly more normal than we thought i always find the actual cannony bit smells the strongest

[@annabelh2315]

Asda

[@riverstylesnoble5996]

Seane Mail yes!

[@morganmcknight782]

RiverStylesNoble I was just about to comment that! Great minds think alike

[@internetduck1520]

i am also extremely socially awkward :D

[@internetduck1520]

DOMINATOR _NK Lol, i tried buying a soft toy today and i was so terrified...

[@internetduck1520]

DOMINATOR _NK i just go on the internet most of the time. Lol

[@internetduck1520]

DOMINATOR _NK Lol, i just stay on my laptop 9 hours a day...

[@internetduck1520]

DOMINATOR _NK Meh, pretty much my life, except different videos and games. :3

[@wheresmypretzel579]

I am super shy and extremly socially akward at the same time that is a horrible combination literally

[@yikes6780]

Your life is just like a TV series.

[@HK-jb6hi]

Me: w..wall... wallmart? Friend: The fuck of course it’s wall mart he’s hinting Me: YAS I KNEW IT! australia only has k mart coles woolworths and other shit and not asda or wall mart forgive me

[@narlonnus]

+Hannah Kim BILO xD

[@kiml2454]

+Hannah Kim yeah, we're so 'deprived' XD

[@pariskennedy9388]

I'm telling the prime minister that we need more brands

[@kiml2454]

Paris Kennedy go for it, girl

[@joeyalex7160]

Damn u Kmart why can't we have Walmart or in South Australia, Starbucks.

[@pooseycat802]

hello there... imnew oh my god i died

[@ariannailicic8069]

Me too😂

[@EmmaRoids]

I fell off a chair

[@bobeode]

I rolled off my bed

[@eiveive]

Imnyoo 😂😂😂

[@Kat-jp1up]

Sorry but God

[@brooke1257]

The way I fucked up at work today and came back to this 11 YEAR OLD video for mental support…..lmao it worked though

[@angela-vq6ss]

PAUSE AT 1:33 HES SO ADORABLE I CANT 😊

[@ashisreallytired9006]

Oh God!

[@annamarie2207]

ThatWeirdFangirlTM WHEN IS HE NOT CUTE?!!!? cx

[@ethanc1566]

Angela García oh. My heart..... ah....... the freakin...... can't.... even..... cute... dan....overload..... SELF DESTRUCTKBDISMAIWNDBSJKS

[@memegod5399]

Wtf

[@GoliathTheLimaBean]

*'Hi there imnew'* omg I wet myself! xD

[@hgyhjd888]

just went thru a really bad break up....DAN TIME

[@hgyhjd888]

dan can always make anyone's day c':

[@mythvanx]

***** always.

[@ericmosell3653]

You look like you're like 14 at most lol. How did a bad breakup happen at age 14?

[@ericmosell3653]

Still though. Sorry bout it

[@hgyhjd888]

im 15 cx lol & it was a 9 month relationship:/ but ovver it now (: thanks tho

[@spebtm8017]

Danisnotonfired

[@jakebello7988]

kaboom studios Danisnotforhire

[@mylifeismylaptop8529]

1:19 lol me when they put me in the sports section at the bookstore where I work

[@jacobnichols1391]

Wait... Is there an age requirement law to buy an axe? ... I feel like that's good but at the same time I actually feel like they took away one of my freedoms just now :( I'm 14 but never had an axe

[@larianesiqueira2671]

Oh god, i've just started to watch Dan and Phill about 2/3 days ago, and I have already watched almost all of their videos, INCLUDING the collabs, I followed to them in almost every website, stalked Dan because I'm weird and and he is the perfection in person, I'm going crazy HELP! D'=

[@flyingelephants5251]

SAME

[@caseyharrington4947]

Girl told me about this a week ago, internet came back yesterday, now watching all of then!

[@MrCommentor2]

It's not a problem. He's just super relatable and funny.

[@saumyagupta1210]

same thing happened to me about a month ago!

[@willthewiise]

Welcome to the phandom

[@dani-nh2hy]

I is a Danosaur and a Phillion! RAAAAAAAAR. Imma eat you!

[@bethanyisnotcool2050]

Harry Potter: Puppet Edition same

[@svanaiceland232]

....

[@mattiea2234]

dani please stop

[@laraadib2334]

Hello there *looks at name* iym nu me: *is dying of laughter*

[@Eyecyou64]

THE FUCK IS SHMASDA

[@emiliejanestein1444]

Asda/Walmart

[@Bex_T]

Asda

[@TodoDekuOTP]

That's what it is? Oh.

[@mychemicalderp3326]

Asda

[@ohmyitssaffron7914]

Asda. Basically Americans Walmart or target I believe

[@aimisawesome1]

No way I love shmasda!

[@SparklyPinkCupcake1]

shmASDA lol such a great store

[@cland3st1ne]

Ikr

[@cammarc]

+aimisawesome1 is shmasda like the shmwallmart of the uk?

[@SparklyPinkCupcake1]

+Andrew Bulger yeah. it's owned by shmallmart

[@nicolemarie1678]

whats shmasda?

[@demacomics5019]

hahahhaha omg i was having a bad day this made my day i love dan

[@emmyjemmy4208]

still laughing at how many non british people think he worked at a supermarket called 'shmazda'

[@katiecocker4543]

OH MY GOD!! I'm laughing so hard!!

[@chadsullivan3645]

LOl

[@allyrane1534]

I love ur profile picture!!

[@katiecocker4543]

Thanks.

[@allyrane1534]

No problem

[@ImHereNowNotTomorrow]

Seriously I SWEAR I could smell the firework-bottle-thing in the beginning of the video. I'm not kidding. I am so scared right now.

[@alena4924]

OMG me too o.o

[@winnie5755]

The Ciao at the end is so fucking cute

[@TheGirlInFandomWorld]

Dan in the pumpkin carving video: My costume represents the time I sold an axe to a child. Me: Oh Dan you so silly Dan in this video: I got fired because I sold an axe to a child. Me: * surprised Pikachu meme *

[@DojaDuxkEater]

How could you sell an ax to a 12 that wasn't me?

[@bradleym1322]

Axe*

[@DojaDuxkEater]

Im pretty sure i spelled Ax correctly

[@user-uc3ij5jo3i]

Alana Williams its actually 'axe'

[@user-uc3ij5jo3i]

don't worry, we all have those moments of realisation haha

[@DojaDuxkEater]

LANGRE SISTER

[@mimijane48]

You're a prettier girl then me, what the hell Dan

[@carolinek9053]

Ikr it's not fair

[@miikaura]

BY THE WAY I BOUGHT THE BOOK! I BOUGHT DAN AND PHIL GO OUTSIDE!

[@rhiannon837]

“I got fired for being awkward” That’s why I stay indoors

[@molliesteel3809]

A few months ago i was in Morrisons in my school uniform and two different people came up to me and asked where things were...I'm 13...

[@gabbijainniney]

that happened to me, and I wasn't even in uniform!

[@soph9141]

I had this in B&Q 😑😞

[@chloedupras8522]

I died when she said "Imnew" omg i cant

[@sunnivamilne5399]

Just started a new job that involves customer service, and this video makes me feel so much better

[@kirstenb3845]

"Not bloody quite" that killed me. 😂

[@harriethall6996]

Is no one gonna talk about the 'chow' at the end?!?? SO FREAKING CUTE

[@miriancristina4726]

+Harriet Hall I think it's "tchau"

[@imageeknotanerd9897]

+Harriet Hall It's spelled "Ciao". It's foreign.

[@miriancristina4726]

+I'm a geek, not a nerd "ciao" it's Italian, mean "hi" I think he said "tchau", means bye in portuguese

[@imageeknotanerd9897]

mirian cristina Oh, ok. Sorry about the confusion.

[@anna-jr5pu]

+mirian cristina but ciao in Italian can mean either hi or bye in Italian so really it could be either

[@jessicaenglish8709]

Just bought a jumper that says "I'm more useless than Dan Howells belt" OMG just had to buy it 😂

[@katelynpeschel4469]

OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU GET IT

[@jessicaenglish8709]

katelyn Peschel ebay!

[@jessicatidwell5535]

Currently binge watching these videos that my life revolved around during my younger emo years

[@eleutheromania6191]

"hello... Imnew" gets me every time