How I make the first move with men I am interested in (with confidence)🤭💋

[@tomrankin2701]

I appreciated this from your viewpoint, as while I don’t have a problem initiating, I’d like it to be more reciprocal. The situations where you’re showing someone you like them is an experience I have very rarely had, and I’d love that! It’s hard to keep being vulnerable and facing rejection, and I get the impression many women are happy for this to continue because they don’t have to display any vulnerability. My question: Is telling yourself they already like you more of a ‘gee up’ to make your move here? A self-confidence booster to kind of cue your approach? I ask because it’s entirely possible that they are either neutral towards you or may not like you, in a general way. The problem might not necessarily be them either. It could be that you are presenting yourself in a non-optimal way. I hope you understand my question. It’s not meant personally, more of a mindset exploration from your point of view.

[@catchdatingofficial]

Hi Tom, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments and questions this morning! I have some initial thoughts however want to reflect so I can articulate myself succinctly. Will get back to you by the end of the week :) Sam

[@tomrankin2701]

@@catchdatingofficial That’s okay. No rush, or even an obligation of course!

[@catchdatingofficial]

@@tomrankin2701 Hi Tom, yes I agree, as we move towards equality then our view is women need to be initiating as much as men. However, the traditional way of operating is still embedded in our culture and in dating advice which is why we like to challenge these (in our view) outdated "rules" and let people figure out what works for them. There is advice out there saying men like the chase too so a lot of women feel like they cannot initiate, which isn't true and a shame. In terms of telling yourself they already like you, this is a pillar of confidence, as we are believing in ourselves and what we offer (whether in a job, friendship, relationship etc) before we receive that validation externally. And telling ourselves someone already likes us (or inevitably will) does a few things: - As you say, provides a confidence boost/gee up in the moment when initiating - which means it is more likely to be received positively as confidence is attractive - Reminds us of our value and worth and everything we bring to the table. If we genuinely believe in our value, why wouldn't they like us? - Positive thinking and assumptions leads to positive results. We may not (logically) know how someone feels so why not assume the best? If it is a challenge to think in that way, ask yourself why someone wouldn't like you with all you bring to the table, and whatever comes up is a belief or area of confidence to work on :)

[@jarodorla6949]

Good topic, kindly add time stamps for ease of listening

[@catchdatingofficial]

@@jarodorla6949 thank you! What did you find most interesting/helpful? And good idea on timestamps, will look into this. Sam @ CATCH.