how I rebuilt my life - invisible illness and healing

How I rebuilt my life after invisible illness - recovery and healing
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My Story ⬇️
When I was fourteen, I remember waking up one day feeling like someone different from myself. I wasn’t looking forward to the day (as I always was), in fact I was suddenly anxious and felt like bursting into tears at the thought of facing the world, which seemed hostile and overwhelming. Instead of my usual high energy I felt flat, listless, and immobile. I assumed I was just unusually tired and dragged myself out of bed. What I didn’t know that this was the beginning of a decade long rollercoaster of emotional highs and depressive lows on a weekly basis.
Unfortunately, due to some unaware comments from strangers, I believed it was simply a part of being female, which was an incredibly damaging mentality that made me ashamed of my identity. Sadly, my teenage self made it a mission to hide everything I felt, afraid it would upset those around me and make me seem ‘hysterical’ and not worth anyones time.
(The #1 reason I wanted to share this story is to combat the weight of shame that we may put ourselves when we are struggling with an invisible issue, and to motivate others to seek help if they need it. I also wish to share this in writing, since it can be difficult to talk about to a camera).
The years passed and I managed as best I could, thankful for a supportive family that helped me learn to cope and comforted me when I struggled. But as an adult, with the added strain of university and work, I became desperate for help. I self medicated in many unhealthy ways. This led to me become quite sick, the repercussions of which would haunt me years later.
I had many conversations regarding how I felt with doctors, but a solution was difficult to find. Then, thank goodness, I met with a female doctor with the same condition as I. She informed me that it was a textbook case of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder).
This is a disorder that can range from mild to severe, and I was on the extreme end - having developed quite destructive behaviors trying to handle the changes in my body every month. We found a treatment that helped me feel emotionally stable for the first time in many years.
It was cathartic to experience a month without these extreme feelings, instead I was able to endure a more manageable range of emotions. But after establishing a foundation, I had to continue working on cultivating peace in my daily life. I had to learn to take the good and bad days as they came, without being overwhelmed by fear that somehow I’ll lose the progress I’ve made. Recovery brought me closer to my spirituality and the natural world. Due to my type of disorder, I found great solace in aligning myself with the cycles of nature, and removing the shame associated with the cycle of my own body. Cycles are everywhere, most visible in the seasons and phases of the moon, and becoming aware of these things brought healing.
I hope this video helps support all those who have or still are dealing with the weight of grief, melancholy, or are struggling in any way. Not all illness is visible, and I am thankful to live in world were these conversations are happening.
Learn more about PMDD: www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healt...
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[@odetoneptune]

I am a 16 year old girl that deals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Your videos bring me a sense of peace. A reminder that I won't be stuck within my darkest feelings forever. A reminder that my life is forever changing and that is good. Thank you for being a reminder.

[@TheCottageFairy]

My heart goes out to you, I want to give you a big hug. It was a journey for me but things got better as my body and brain developed. You’re a step ahead by just having awareness. Keep shining your light, much love 🤍

[@odetoneptune]

Thank you. I appreciate the support even if it is from far away. (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[@johnawarner200]

I have a 23 yr old that I am going to share this with. Going from what society says is "girlhood - womanhood" well there's a lot to unpack there. But you are aware & thats saying a lot. I wish you the best vibes

[@AndreLuiz-xr7pw]

Hii, i have 16 too,im from Brazil,south America, i hope you get better❤️❤️

[@SuburbanDon]

My advice to you, from experience is don't spend 50 years figuring it out. Be true to yourself and go the way you need to go. And fear nothing.

[@Altusiam]

This video quality is something else, I feel like I got sucked into a Ghibli film - so beautiful!!

[@allaboutiyan]

Omgie sameee

[@smellofpaints9219]

Yess same here 💕

[@dona62851]

Exactly!

[@f.zlarrache1714]

I feel the same too

[@LaSorciereFeuillue]

Absolutely. Wonderful effects and visual treatments especially close-ups of nature.

[@danabuck6461]

As a 58 year old woman, I envy the courage and strength you have found. I spent far too many years living for the approval of others. Thank you so much for this inspiration.

[@Milfaces1000]

I think I understand what you mean, I'm still 22 but I have been through a lot difficulties at my age. And for the first time in my life I'm starting to take my own decisions...I only hope that a better future awaits me

[@filmpopmovie]

Author Tom Robbins sums up one of his novels with: It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

[@chaimaabek]

Whats the tittle of this novel

[@johnawarner200]

No matter our age, we all need a good rebuild. I come here every Wednesday for a bit of peace. Along with the wonderful art work that brings a smile to my day when I pass it. The important part is knowing that nobody has to walk alone on their journey.

[@marysuzettecatipon6147]

❤

[@AliyahAbdullahIbrahim]

♥️

[@TheCottageFairy]

My Story ⬇️ When I was fourteen, I remember waking up one day feeling like someone different from myself. I wasn’t looking forward to the day (as I always was), in fact I was suddenly anxious and felt like bursting into tears at the thought of facing the world, which seemed hostile and overwhelming. Instead of my usual high energy I felt flat, listless, and immobile. I assumed I was just unusually tired and dragged myself out of bed. What I didn’t know that this was the beginning of a decade long rollercoaster of emotional highs and depressive lows on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, due to some unaware comments from strangers, I believed it was simply a part of being female, which was an incredibly damaging mentality that made me ashamed of my identity. Sadly, my teenage self made it a mission to hide everything I felt, afraid it would upset those around me. (The #1 reason I wanted to share this story is to combat the weight of shame that we may put on ourselves when we are struggling with an invisible issue, and to motivate others to seek help if they need it. I also wish to share this in writing, since it can be difficult to talk about to a camera). The years passed and I managed as best I could, thankful for a supportive family that helped me learn to cope and comforted me when I struggled. But as an adult, with the added strain of university and work, I became desperate for help. I self medicated in many unhealthy ways. This led to me become quite sick, the repercussions of which would haunt me years later. I had many conversations regarding how I felt with doctors, but a solution was difficult to find. Then, thank goodness, I met with a female doctor with the same condition as I. She informed me that it was a textbook case of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder, not PMS). This is a disorder that can range from mild to severe, and I was on the extreme end - having developed quite destructive behaviors trying to handle the changes in my body every month. We found a treatment that helped me feel emotionally stable for the first time in many years. It was cathartic to experience a month without these extreme feelings, instead I was able to endure a more manageable range of emotions. But after establishing a foundation, I had to continue working on cultivating peace in my daily life. I had to learn to take the good and bad days as they came, without being overwhelmed by fear that somehow I’ll lose the progress I’ve made. Recovery brought me closer to my spirituality and the natural world. Due to my type of disorder, I found great solace in aligning myself with the cycles of nature, and removing the shame associated with the cycle of my own body. Cycles are everywhere, most visible in the seasons and phases of the moon, and becoming aware of these things brought healing. I hope this video helps support all those who have or still are dealing with the weight of grief, melancholy, or are struggling in any way. Not all illness is visible, and, of course, not all sadness is illness. Phases of negative emotions are a natural part of life. But sometimes we need help, and sometimes those emotions go beyond feeling temporarily down, and can severely affect our ability to thrive. I am thankful to live in world were these conversations are happening. I appreciate everyone being respectful of each other in the comments. As much as we try we cannot always understand someone else and how they experience the world. We can disagree with them, and believe that the feelings they express do not align with our own beliefs. But we can be compassionate and open to the fact that unless we can walk in another persons shoes, we should be careful to make assumptions about their life 🤍 thank you Learn more about PMDD: 1. www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd 2. www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd (I do not support all suppositions made in these articles, they are simply meant to provide information and theories)

[@virgiediaz4802]

Thank you Paola for sharing this,you have nothing to be ashamed because each one of us have/had some invisible imperfection or dealing with something that is better to be shared if we want to be healed.And connecting with nature is one way of healing then surrendering everything to Jesus all our worries.Hugs from Philippines.

[@chancbl]

Trust me believe me when l say 'angels' do watch over us no matter if you call it karma etc ..l have just ordered your stuff for my whanau in NZ and she works at 531 pi radio station in NZ because Finau my Tongan God son loves your drawings (although could do with more little boy drawings lol) she will advertise on the show ok 👌after her maternity leave. Ok much aroha will order more later

[@turisteandoentexas]

You are a super woman for having shared this painful part of your life with us 👏 Although I haven’t seen a Dr. I, too, used to feel life was hard certain days of the month, and too, was told to ignore and keep moving as it is part of me. But I honestly feel that I just needed to be listened to and cuddle. You know, just wanted support. I finally met someone that fills me and loves me and I feel I can be myself again and I will be ok. I will be understood and loved and life can be reach to its full potential as I am. Lots of love for you beautiful soul 💐

[@julianafactuar4161]

reading that someone i greatly admire also has PMDD, gives me hope. the peace that your art gives me is me hope that one day i can help others as well.

[@strawbemmy]

i dont know how you always seem to know what i need to hear and when i need to hear it, but i swear something in the universe keeps bringing me to you when i need it...i was just diagnosed with pmdd today- literally just a mere few hours before this was posted. i dont know anyone else who has it nor had i ever heard of it. and now suddenly, the day i finally get an answer for my suffering and symptoms, this video is posted...wow. i am genuinely baffled by how strong of a coincidence this is. thank you for sharing this; truly.

[@ariana.billett]

"For a long time I mourned the loss of a little girl, who was happy; and believed in a bright future. I thought she had been forgotten, in the process of growing up." That brought tears to my eyes. 💔 That is deep. I was totally not expecting it, and it punched me in the chest.

[@russellphillips8674]

I'm a 20 year old and I feel trapped in almost every aspect of my life, and unable to make the changes for myself that I need, but your videos and messages invite a feeling of freedom and expression, and truly inspire me. Thank you 💛

[@Reveri247]

I'm 27 and feel the exact same way...

[@andreyaplatia735]

I hear you x

[@ninamertens2696]

me too, i feel you so deeply

[@nat.in.nature]

Literally this

[@shaunnarochelle]

when I was 19, i felt just the same... I had no friends, had 0 money, my parents were broke and in debt, I couldn't go to uni sometimes cos we didn't have money for the bus. felt trapped in my family home, parents at war with one another. but I got away and traveled and experienced life. still the past took along time to shake off, but at 31 I'm at total peace, even though I now have a chronic illness and can't work or anything (getting better though ;) ). externally I'm trapped but internally I'm free. believe you'll find your way, take every opportunity for freedom that you can get, and you won't stay in that place. your resilience, skills and confidence will grow as you age and life will not seem so scary. believe me.

[@amyshomesteadanimals]

I struggled with anxiety and depression until I followed my bliss. I now live on a homestead and grow and prepare my families' foods, surrounded by animals and nature. It makes my soul sing.❤

[@Deenysworld]

This is my dream! Congratulations on achieving this.

[@elevationview673]

Love this

[@amyshomesteadanimals]

Thank you Duncan.

[@wildflowerwind6941]

That is wonderful.

[@beckys6260]

This is my absolute dream too, nature and animals ground me. I hope and pray that one day I can live a life like that too 🤞

[@earthgrazer5511]

You made me cry but the tears came from a place of comfort. I'm 22 and in the process of rebuilding the 'wounds of my foundation.' Thanks for sharing your story. I'm a hypersensitive person and the world constantly overwhelms me but people like you inspire me to carry on.

[@PiecesOfNature]

Ever heard of nervoussystem regulation?

[@earthgrazer5511]

@@PiecesOfNature what exactly do you mean?

[@PiecesOfNature]

@@earthgrazer5511 your comment made me think about it, it is about healing trauma. Somatic experiencing.

[@earthgrazer5511]

@@PiecesOfNature how 😭

[@PiecesOfNature]

@@earthgrazer5511 kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnKzfXpjm8p2oNk

[@benerandamyrthong2908]

"We are living memorials of what we have lost." This line, for someone like me whose innerchild was badly wounded when I was so young, and whose eyes bore witnessed to the darker side of our world when they were too afraid to even know what it actually is, can have a profound effect now 20 years later. Thankyou Paola for instilling inside us the wisdom to knos that our inner child needs us most, now than ever ❤

[@joannebrown322]

So many of us struggle with invisible illnesses that affect our emotional well-being, and most of us just go about trying to pretend that we are fine. Thanks for sharing.

[@mycrazylifekristintaylor6146]

When you get way further down the road..after births..deaths...joys and sorrows you will find yourself in a wonderful place. You will look back and see how each devastating loss and incredible joy has not only guided your course...but it has carved a path for others to follow. So many people are so lost and lonely... They feel separate from God's love and find no source of joy. So you are here for them. You remind me of myself 40 years ago...and I smile knowing that your creative genius needs the highs and lows to keep you moving forward. These gifts you give us each week...you cannot possibly know the impact they have because of your beautiful humble and tender heart. But I truly thank God that you are there sharing a life that truly is thankful, generous and kind. I just love u and always look forward to Wednesday's. You are a treasure. Kristin

[@Travelgirl0224]

Kristin- that was beautifully said. What a precious soul you are 😊🙏🏼

[@daphney7877]

this was so beautiful i think i cried haha

[@sinraqv]

as an 11-year-old, I feel so much joy watching you. I sometimes need a break from this world and just need peace. I've been watching you whenever I'm sad and i just get happy :,))

[@niloo6890]

What a sweet message! As a 45 year old, I feel the same way :)

[@kennethruley2561]

My father passed away last month, and sadness and regret are with me every day. But every day is a little better than the last. Greif is strange thing. I never know how or when it will show up. Your lovely videos bring me joy, and I am so grateful for that. Thank you.

[@richardfox9495]

I am the same,I lost my partner last year, feeling so bad today,other days are ok.

[@poppysseeds]

this may sound odd, but if you one day have children, i imagine their names would be so beautiful

[@Motherhubbard170]

what a lovely comment

[@krishangikaushik475]

Indeed

[@wdwnwfinad1]

And gentle -- I appreciate her gentleness

[@quokka3382]

What do you guys think about Caroline, Florence, and Clementine? I think those names are beautiful

[@lex8239]

You have a beautiful name to. My youngest daughter shares your name.

[@justujuesubhenau2369]

At the of age 49, I'm still struggling to rebuild myself. Although as time passes it has become more and more difficult to overcome with our short comings but I am absolutely determined to do this...🌹 from Pakistan

[@TunTuni25]

You are not alone, that is exactly my predicament...I hear you my dear & feel for you. Please know you are not alone. There are so many around with similar struggles but these peaceful platforms & channels can be cathartic Thank you Paola for the semblance of peace you bring to us through your lovely channel,your simple, sweet & peaceful disposition & calming narrative ....extremely therepeutic Truly grateful Much ❤ from Pakistan

[@polifonyann]

❤❤

[@user-px7nh7vs4b]

Thumbs up...and me too @ 63. It can be done. It Shall be done!

[@TunTuni25]

@@user-px7nh7vs4b Yes,yes, & yes Well said...It HAS to be done Bravo to us brave ladies!

[@casey4314]

Wow! For some reason I thought I was the only 49 year old struggling in the exact same way. I'm so glad I scrolled down the messages to find yours! Thanks for posting.....Peace to you. Casey from Canada

[@SumrahJamal]

your videos bring so much comfort. thank you for all that you do.

[@georgettekymmell1717]

I have been struggling with depression and other mental illnesses. I have a hard time cleaning and really coming to peace at the end of the day. Your video’s always makes me want to clean my room and make it my space again and not a depression hole that brings me more stress. Also your voice is so soft and kind, with the music which is also beautiful. I love your video’s and i hope you are doing well.

[@nicoleonfeels]

I’m so happy you found peace and that you’re using your platform to spread awareness and love about invisible illnesses 💗

[@turisteandoentexas]

💖

[@justme-uw6bz]

I think it's normal to feel ups and downs. THAT DOG PUT AN INSTANT SMILE ON MY FACE, I LOVE HIM.

[@kristinandj]

you should read her text because when it is to extreme it can be a sign of a functional disorder in your body.

[@anns1921]

agreed and same here!

[@Thefeminineelegantlady]

I also have PMDD, as well as many other chronic illnesses which I have been going to the Mayo Clinic for because the Dr's where I live could not figure it out. I also have autism. I struggle in so many ways day to day. I long for a more stable, quiet life. Yes, I know there are always ups and downs, but mine are so extreme. I'm almost 46 and have never had a relaxing time in my life. I am now making necessary changes to help myself. Learning to love and accept myself the way I am. Thank you for your beautiful, inspiring videos.

[@julietaylor642]

❤️❤️

[@SarafNawar321]

🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️💙

[@nicolegenerale]

💓💓💓

[@simonettapisano8339]

❤💛💚💚💚

[@lindakovacs7904]

Each time I listen to your remarkable ability to bring words that renew I give a silent thank you to you and for all you share. You are special.

[@maybee...]

A day of beauty peace and love, what does that look like? I remember a day when the clouds broke and the sun filled the kitchen, my mother stood me on a chair where the sun's rays filled the tiny space and I was allowed to wash the dishes, the water was warm, I could see the bottom of the sink through the water and the bubbles. That was a happy moment. I was very young then, and ever since I have been in search of warm sunny places.

[@Patti-1962]

I am a survivor of an abusive, chaotic childhood. It took many years and some great doctors, but I did finally find peace and contentment. This doesn't mean I will be blissfully happy everyday, but that I am able to find a balance in life. To me, that is the key word, balance. This is what i gleaned from this video.❤️

[@Patti-1962]

@@Melody-285 Very well said. Balance is the key.

[@juanpedro4083]

I am thinking about to commit suicide because I am very ugly

[@Patti-1962]

@@juanpedro4083 Please, please don't even consider this. You are valuable in SO many ways and I know that you are strong enough to live, and get help. Please call this number for someone to talk to. 800-273-8255 This is a lifeline for confidential support ;

[@marianl3447]

@@juanpedro4083 In my long life i have known many many who were extremely ugly on the outside...and were greatly LOVED for the beauty that lies on the inside that they cultivated and always were but just grew more of. Why would you ever limit beauty to what is visible only and not to what you can say , do , think and feel...that is MORE beautiful to even MOST people than any physical appearance. some of the most physically ugly men or women even have the most beautiful partners (husband /wife/girl or boyfirends) why? Because people get bored and tired of what is ONLY nice to LOOK at. Try to realize what ELSE about you is beautiful not what ISN'T and GIVE to others who can use that from you....and your soul shines so much ..they see you as beautiful and do not see you as you see yourself......(ugly). this is wisdom...Wisdom only comes from living and seeing it in real life ..not advice or books to spoken words. So you will have to TRY to see and do what it is suggested here...and is a truth..if you just look around and step out of your own feelings about yourself for a bit and longer and take a good long look ..in depth at what is all around you to marvel at and LOVE and share with others and then what you do with what is in you will come out more and then you will experience what i say here and wil be more than my truth..it will be your own wisdom..that some day when share with others it will truth . You can end your life but why? why would what you look like and think it means no one can love you ...is all there is to life? And thus prevent yourself from the greater experience that awaits you.? I know someone who every woman i know sees him as he probably sees himself...as the ugliest person they have ever seen and yet they all love him so much and would rather be with him , talk to him, be around, touch him and be touched by him..than anyone else they know ...the most beautiful they know dont' have what he IS AND HE HAS.... WHY INSTEAD OF STOPPING YOUR LIFE..WOULD YOU NOT WANT THAT EXPERIENCE.?? THAT IS THE POTENTIAL THAT LIES IN YOUR FUTURE..BUT YOU MUST WANT IT AND PURSUE IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE AND THINK ABOUT YOURSELF...OR WHAT OTHERS HAVE TOLD YOU. When you see something else and keep seeing that (the greater potential of you) that is what will come and what others you drawn into your life will reflect back to you. Beauty is only something nice to look at and yes it does something...but what it does IS ony superficial and gets old and boring and never will make for great love , great relationships , great joy, great peace or anything that is of more value and more appreciated and sought after by every soul....and is more lasting and beautiful than any appearances ever will be. Add to that you are physically beautiful and you have both and actually that often does happen when someone changes their own attitude about their own looks or anyone else's...but whether or not yo have that will never keep you from what you desire...that is not found in appearances and cannot be supplied by those who have that....is supplied by yourself to yourself and to others and accepted from others...That is what is needed. that is the choice to make to LIVE to live what is love, even you don'think it comes to you...you love others and find love for things and people in your own life FROM INSIDE YOURSELF...than you love so much what you are you won't have that gaping hole that thinks it needs it...but will will overflow with the passion of it for life itself. then your life will also change...one step ..one small step at a time..one moment ...one day at a time...until it's a long time and it's forever. Look again and find this truth singing in your soul ...sleep with it and wake up with it and watch your days and nights change. But don't do that and just give up...and you won't even escape it...because that is what you will take with you...where you go after this body no longer is what you wear...the next will take the same lesson with it until its lived. then you will get to know physical beauty to o...but right now this is what your own journey is...Go with it...there are magnanamous rewards for accepting your own journey. And then perhaps you will wake up one day finding yourself to be a huge comfort to those so beautiful then have not ever yet experienced being loved for who they are ARE truly (on the inside) and they don't even know what that is and want to...while their pain and suffering is even greater than physical torment for how when or if they DO know themselves but no one loves them for that ..only for their appearance.. their hole is no different or less than yours and sometimes is even bigger. When you feel so unloved and so alone find someone and /or something TO love ..and there in that will never be lonely or alone again..(regardless of whether that love is 'returned" by that thing or being )For that love IS us and is IN us and is everlasting and it is completely w/o condtions and is never a hole that needs filling..but is always full and overflowing until you experienced it you can't "know " it's there ..but it IS it can't not be or you would not be alive..it's what keeps you alive (unless you end it) So make it your journey to find that love where it most lies and with greatest capacity to be felt and released ...go to sleep telling that to your self and wake up before you think about aything else...tell yourself that and say no matter what my brain tells me or other people...this is truth i choose to know and to ultmately LIVE and experience and express it and then every thing else i do and say will come from that mind and that place in me...And when thoughts come that argue that and tell you your are crazy....just say it more and know that those thoughts are what covers that truth and keeps you from the experience....let them rant but you keep holding in your mind the one you choose and it will shape your days and nighhts....slowly at first bc the other has a greater hold on your conscious mind..but this one is there under taht and when you GIVE IT YOUR Time and energy and will and choose that..it will step up to the plate and do what it does....and the day that happens...there is no going back YOu will be free and will look back at this in humor of who you once were , came here to own and change and did that... Now you can live and longer and deeper and greater than you can imagine .

[@juanpedro4083]

@@marianl3447 would you mind if I ask where are you from? You seem a nice person. I am from Portugal.

[@Shelty6]

I am a lot older and I could tell you some stories. Like the Yin and Yang all dark days will eventually end and the sun will come out bringing happiness. When your going through the hard times just put one foot in front of the other because tomorrow is hope. Never give up hope and know that nothing is permanent. I loved this video.

[@gitabrown1698]

You are such a beautiful soul. It makes me tear up. I have felt all my life like I was dropped on the wrong planet because of my deep sensitivity which doesn't always mesh well in a very harsh world. You are like a kindred spirit. I rarely find them. And then when you turned and smiled at the camera, my heart burst open and gave a huge smile in return. Sending you lots of love.

[@Jomatsch]

Sometimes when you're down, the best thing you can do is give your dog a hug, or pet your cat/rabbit until you feel better.

[@elevationview673]

Definitely. I hug my greyhound, she makes everything right.

[@elsamere]

Oh yes. An animal companion will always be there for you. My black Lab was my solace and comfort and best friend. I miss her every single day.

[@jukes243]

I grab my bible and get alone with Jesus. Connecting with my Creator calms the storm inside. Every time.

[@Lisa-cj6vx]

@@elsamere I miss my black lab too. Her name was Angel 😇

[@elsamere]

@@Lisa-cj6vx And now she really IS an Angel. It’s painful how much we miss them.

[@ms.iloveteaching7304]

When I saw the vast fields of Lupins (my heart be still), it reminds me of the childhood book "Miss Rumphius". A beautiful story of a woman who, after travelling and seeing the world, settles down in a little cottage by the sea and fulfills her desires of making the world a more beautiful place. She was later known as the Lupin Lady :)

[@Carmen-xj7nn]

Oh my Gosh!! I read that beautiful book to my children. It is a lovely story!!

[@TheCottageFairy]

Ah! I have many fond memories reading that book to my former students, such a special story ❤️

[@dra.latina3063]

YESSSSSS!! “Miss Rumphius” has been my alter ego for many, many years. When I page through the storybook, I invariably am taken to a place of lovely solitude, beauty and hope.

[@Strenger_planet]

Her story is like Disney girl who live in jungle fulfilling her small, beautiful dreams and of course with some lovable animals. 💙💙so much love, and good healthy wishes from me.

[@KMWeir]

I’m 52 years old. I’ve been discovering what you’ve discovered already. And I’m finding others who have found this path. It’s amazing how it is so similar yet we are all individual. I am hoping your videos can help my son who has severe anxiety & health issues. He is 25. I truly hope he will find his way. He is an incredible artist. He’s just so talented. His name is Andrew. 💕

[@carolinebarry5035]

I will be thinking of you both and wishing him many blessings :)

[@buranshbliss]

Hello cottage fairy.....you are so beautiful inside out and it's so peaceful watching you...it's like we are watching a fairy tale You showed us that sometimes the simplest things mean the most. Lots of Love ❤️

[@rudyleal5884]

I have dealt with chronic fatigue for 25 yrs now and fibromyalgia for about 10 yrs and for many years i went through shame because i would be told its all in your head just get over it you look pretty healthy. To this day its so hard because my mind wants to do so much but my body cant.

[@ethnemackenzie3195]

Fibro especially is so hard to explain to people, i have 4 people in my family that have it and they don’t even bother telling anyone about because others never believe them. Though I myself do not have it I understand it well. Hope you are coping🙂

[@Tearsofasilentheart]

Im in your same situation. Ist being diagnosed with lupus then fibromyalgia. I look healthy from the outside and people instantly think im my illness up. Very frustrating. Im now 49 and benefits are beginning to listen after years of fighting for it. Im so relieved as my body and mind just cant cope with this fast paste of life anymore.

[@manichairdo9265]

My beautiful friend was also told by her doctor and husband...'it's all in your head'. After 10 years of pain (take a pill) and spells of lethargy/fatigue (laziness) she collapsed. Tests showed over 200 tumors and polyps on her intestines. Sugery saved her life. Dr said another 6 months without help she would have died, aged 30. 30 years later...no reoccurence found in annual check ups and she is still beautiful. 💕

[@angiechristine]

I was diagnosed with lupus in 2011 and fibromyalgia in 2006. I was diagnosed with depression, subsequently. Apart from the symptoms of these illnesses, for me personally, the most difficult part has been the lack of support from certain family members who, out of ignorance of these conditions, withheld the support and encouragement I so desperately needed. I have come to understand I cannot expect them to embrace the knowledge and understanding of my illnesses and have been blessed with many, many wonderful friends with like conditions whom i’ve connected with through social media. These cherished friends have not only filled the void left by my family but also have taught me so much about living well despite any medical condition. I find great solace knowing we aren’t alone and there are so many of us all over the world who share similar experiences and likewise share both the sorrows and joys of life. I love the sense of community here amongst the followers of The Cottage Fairy and i wish for peace and kindness for all of you…

[@bluejay5531]

I can relate to so much and it is healing to not be alone....looking like one is visibly healthy, being used to hiding because never understood, never supported...yet having to struggle with invisible illness for decades and decades...depression, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia...hashimoto's and so on...yet all is "in your head"....thank you for sharing...may we all be on a healing path and find our way. Light and Love

[@hushiarna]

Iam currently at the hospital and was having the worst panic attacks but your voice smoothe my own and made me feel in peace ❤ thank you

[@aidajose764]

Hope u r ok now, get well soon

[@gimhanikk3134]

I hope you feel better Bianka!!! 💚💚💚 A lot of hugs from me.

[@aleenaanil7971]

3:05 she casually opens the door... OMG how beautiful is this place 💓

[@judybaugus2909]

Sometimes doing a simple task like washing a dog can give a person so much joy. And I personally love dogs and that wey dog smell. Smells of fun and friendship and quiet companionship

[@christianjacquesbennett]

I have a new name for you ‘The Soul Whisperer’ 🥰 ... Whenever you talk my soul follows your voice and I feel so calm. Peace and love to you and your brother 🙏

[@marianl3447]

like that...good name for her.

[@matblack8479]

Very well said. Her voice is so incredibly beautiful

[@dr.fajeraljumairi]

Paola , I need to say this; the quality of your videos has improved by million. I am glad your brother is helping you out !! I come to your channel every week, to watch the new video and rewatch old videos. Your contents, voice and demeanor brings a sense of peace to my world. So thank you very much and keep on shinning and growing.

[@susanstroker5200]

I absolutely love who you are. It seems like the world only wants to embrace extroverts as an ideal way of behaving in all social situations, being that they are the only people who are interesting and entertaining. But clearly you are not only beautiful to look at with your elegance and grace, but you are funny, sweet, poetic, clever, highly intelligent, and charming. We desperately need people to stand up for the beauty of being highly sensitive, imaginative, and introspective. I was very shy as a child, but much more creative and active than most to compensate for it. I was ridiculed by some as being "backwards" or shy or introverted or just quiet. It really hurt me and caused me to have a low self-esteem. That never meant I didn't have a lot of thoughts and ideas, it just meant I was too afraid to tell people what I was thinking. I am still introverted, but very functional as a nurse and artist. But I don't like to deal with many people, because I am sure they judge me as being too quiet. For not being the outgoing extrovert. Silly, I am 59 years old, and I need to change my attitude. I feel inspired by your videos, Thank you. Susan

[@tharalakshmi1764]

It's really warm to know that there are ppl who are equally crazy about nature like me..detailing the feel of a leaf or the texture of the bark and feeling ecstatic for no reason..

[@paulinemckelvey9001]

this is a great gift

[@tharalakshmi1764]

@@paulinemckelvey9001 sometimes a curse too.. Bcz most of the times v can just stand and stare at the injustice done to the nature and feel sorry for oneself for being so powerless..

[@MariaSlijper]

I recognise your struggles and your strengths. For a long time I thought I was the only one, so I gave up trying to be myself. I believed there was no place for me in this world. And so I got lost in a very dark place. But seeing your videos and the way you look at nature, at details... The way you feel them in your hands and your heart. The kindness and quietness you breathe... It is giving me the strength to find a way to be me again. Thank you so much! ❤

[@MariaSlijper]

@@lailalivsdatter549 thank you 🙂

[@MagentaDreams70]

Beautifully said. 😓

[@caitlyn449]

Life will always have hardships but don’t despair the storm ALWAYS passes.

[@Elizabeth-wr7mn]

I have PMDD too. It's horrible. I had never even heard of it before last year. I thought it was normal to get such extreme symptoms during my period. No one ever told me that there were other people going through the same thing. Thank you for talking about it and sharing a little bit of peace and quiet.

[@lex8239]

Whoever raised you did a remarkable job, They must be so proud of you, also that person should write a book on raising children. I hope my daughters will someday grow up to be as remarkable as you, in their own individual ways of course. 💚

[@Jennifer.villezcas]

"Are you happy?" "Si... yes" I felt that haha.💕

[@Li_ShuWei]

That's her brother.

[@sandypascual505]

lol that was such a cute scene in the video. I identify with this as well!

[@Jennifer.villezcas]

@@Li_ShuWei yes, I said I felt that because she mixed Spanish with English as it often happens to me.😊

[@TheCottageFairy]

@@Jennifer.villezcas ah! You speak Spanglish too ❤️ 😂

[@Jennifer.villezcas]

@@TheCottageFairy si ;) haha😅

[@gaiasfootsteps3149]

Thank you for sharing 🤗 I’m healing myself from complex PTSD by living simply in nature Love your content, thank you for being brave to share yourself ❤️

[@Lemoncare]

Hi I wanted to tell you about Tim Fletcher. His videos on KZbin are super helpful to understand cptsd.

[@doris_1325]

The guy who said "are you happy" at the end had such a fantastic voice. I giggled when I heard him. 😍 I loved it! 😄

[@ferozarose7579]

i'm 17 and i've been watching your videos for a little while now. i just wanna say, i enjoy every one of your videos so much. i used to live on a beautiful farm in vermont and I had to leave for reasons that were beyond my control. it was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. watching your videos brings me back to that life that i had and has reminded me what i truly yearn for and want in my life. thank you so much for inspiring people to cultivate peace in their life and for spreading positivity that is truly needed in this world

[@judymanning2538]

🤗 I am sorry you had to leave your special place 💔. You write very well especially for a 17yo. Best wishes 🍀🍀

[@cherylwebb8340]

Lord willing your hopes and dreams will come true 🙏

[@kentuckylady7344]

I am retired and 66 years old. I find so much inspiration and solace in your videos. When my world is crazy, noisy and crashing down around me, I try to hear your voice or I seek out your videos even ones I have watched before. Thank you for sharing and helping all of us who seek quiet times and looking inward and are at awe with the world and what God has done and will continue to do. We just need to take the time to look around, listen, and be.

[@mariamargaritagarcia8049]

Perfectly said Rebecca !

[@thv353]

If anything, this is how I've always pictured my ideal life. Walking amidst in flower fields in a comfy sundress, sitting nearby a lake or river, paint/draw/write, feeling the breeze on my face with the aroma of flowers it brings along, listening to birds chirping, my husband sitting next to me while We watch our daughter and pug playing.

[@noski1240]

I always found nature to be calming when I feel particularly bad. There's something about the fact that regardless of how sad or angry I may be, even if it feels like my world is ending... it's not. The sun is still going to shine, the wind will rustle the leaves. Little butterflies will still fly by and a cat might come and say hi. It helps me find peace, if only for a moment :)

[@ollerpops]

I Loved they way you looked right into the camera, it was like you were smiling at me. It made me smile too. You are a remarkable young woman! Your channel gives me joy. Thank you Paola...

[@juanpedro4083]

I am thinking about to commit suicide because I am very ugly

[@deborahreid4114]

Sounds of little children's laughter is the quickest way for us as Adults to reclaim a piece of our own joy as a child. Even as Adults its still important to enjoy Imagination at times. To Dream, Laugh, Smile and just Live!!! I use my sense of humor to wear funny creative hats at my job. Each day is a different theme a way to bring a smile to elderly residents where I work. Thank you for reminding us to seek a happy moment in our own childhood!😊

[@TheCottageFairy]

❤️ thank you Deborah! So true

[@a.rosesrbleu9580]

Keep you up the great work, Deborah! The world needs more people like you...a light shining in the darkness!

[@sarahharvey7844]

I'm not sure how your channel popped up but everything about it is peaceful and charming. It's like I'm watching a Jane Austen movie. I think most people crave simplicity and loveliness. Which is why i rarely leave my farm in the country.

[@RealmofWanderingFire]

3:49 I loved hearing that for today! I struggle with an anxiety disorder conceived from putting up with a cheating boyfriend for 3 years and I feel like I lost myself. Day by day I am practicing to rest the burdens of my problem on Jesus' heart and to relax and have fun. I am getting so better! :)

[@theresastephens5997]

I really like your show is there a way you can show me how you do your flowers and grow your vegetables I mean I love the background where you keep your books in all I'm a big book reader myself and your candles I have a huge collection of candles and incense too I am originally from New Jersey I live in PA I would love to see more and that broom you made oh man I wish you could show us how you made that broom again that was fantastic to see

[@user-og4dp8jq8b]

God bless u.....

[@eileenbell8965]

I still see that little girl in you, your love for life and nature and of course the animals

[@almareyes3715]

It takes courage to share ones story. But in doing so you help others to not feel alone or to seek help like you did. Thank you for making these videos, they’re so beautiful and peaceful.

[@Sbannmarie]

I’m a retired Classical Homeopath. Arnica a powerful remedy.

[@Eliza__.]

Passing by to pick up my daily dose of hope. Your videos welcome me, hug me and tell me "it's possible to have a life where you don't have to run or always be on the verge of anxiety". I'm 25 years old, and I cry constantly because I feel insufficient with all the demands I have and also those imposed on me. Every day I fight to feel that life is worth living, that it is possible to enjoy my days, that it is possible to breathe calmly and solve one thing at a time. Thank you for your videos, I wish you happiness in your life.

[@MarianaArg.]

It's interesting how influencers promote day and night routines with five or seven products so expensive to have a perfect skin and to be happy. They show a big wardrobe that hardly anyone can really afford and spends a lot of time on that. But none of that brings the thue happiness.

[@sylena1040]

I had an incredibly sad day today. Your videos popped up somehow, and for the past hour I’ve done nothing but watch them because they’re incredibly comforting. Thank you 💜

[@mabelsto.domingo1824]

In the book I once read, it states you are not your mind. You are the observer of your mind. If we learn to detach to the mind chatter and be an observer, peace will be present. For ultimately we are the awareness.

[@SFlaidlaw101]

I understand what you said about sadness. 😔 It follows you everywhere. Sadness is a compass, one that is directing you to moments of happiness. Sometimes it's around the corner, at other times it feels like a distant land. ✨🌸

[@letinhsong8024]

Beautifully put.

[@juanpedro4083]

I am thinking about to commit suicide because I am very ugly

[@mebsmommy]

This. This reveal. These moments captured so beautifully & eloquently with a narrative to match. Thank you, sweet soul, for sharing your time, talents, gifts, and stories. I have blissfully traveled through your channel today and have found a place to exhale.

[@subarnamohanty8268]

You have no idea how much your videos are helping people at times. ❤️

[@marilynhuss6329]

You are brave. Thank you for telling your story. It is clear you are more than your past and just a beautiful soul. Hoping for many more lovely days and months and years.

[@PlanWithIvey]

As someone who has an anxiety disorder, this video hits hard. It is definitely hard when no one can see your struggles physically and they says “it’s all in your head”. While it’s in your head that doesn’t make it any less real or depilating and this kind of stuff needs to get talk about more. Invisible illnesses can be the most dangerous and the more we talk about it, the less power they have. So thank you for taking time to talk about this and bring awareness to your personal disorder and thank you for being you and for providing this amazing and relaxing content 🌾

[@daintyflygirl4va]

Im dealing with mine atm.I just dont knw what is wrong with me.Tired of feeling sick.I did every test that one can do bt all the results came out negative.Bt why Im feeling like Im dying.

[@judymanning2538]

@@daintyflygirl4va hi. Just read your post. I am so sorry that you are struggling like I have. Stay strong 🤗 new meds should be available soon for depression / anxiety which I have. Also my thyroid was off and I had to bring the text book into the dr to get the right thyroid med which can cause depression and low energy ❤

[@elevationview673]

I too have anxiety it really drains me. After a tough day of anxiety yesterday, have decided this illness isn’t going to go away so have accepted it this is part of me. Yes, if my illness was for example diabetes or asthma people would point yeah you have an illness, but anxiety or any mental illness really but you look okay to me.

[@ThornyRoseV]

Actually it does make it better than physical illnesses, unless you have schitzhophrenia or something. A lot of people recover from anxiety or depression, basically the recovery is up to you. That is a hell of a lot better than no cure and nothing to be done!!

[@mimi1o8]

People that do not suffer from it doesn't take it seriously, I know how it fees .

[@jaidendumont6779]

never ever stop making these

[@cc-wy4bs]

I feel the same way!. GODBLESS US🦋

[@kamalikabhattacharya7560]

How grateful I am in this moment to be here. I don’t have words to articulate my gratitude because you heal me, unbeknownst to your ability, you heal me. If you feel this love, this warmth from my heart to yours, please know a soul has thanked you today. God bless . 🤗

[@benceweisz1063]

I don't mean to take away from any of the other really meaningful comments, but the videography on this video is stunning!

[@marysuzettecatipon6147]

Its true

[@nickysinclair8436]

Wow. It’s what I’m getting help for at the moment as well. To find the little girl that got lost and cherish her 😊

[@sweetspot512]

thank you so much Paola, thank you for your bravery and beauty, truly. Thank you for sharing your story as stories like yours can help take any shame away from others who may be struggling. Watching your videos comforted me so much today. Sending lovng kindness your way.

[@trudiswanson9855]

What a great brother. Sprinkling the flowers... "Are you happy?"... Your cheery smile 😊❤ Thankyou for your beautiful videos. I am reminded to breath. 🥰 🇭🇲 Toowoomba. Qld Australia

[@craftyirina]

During these crazy times we are all living in.. it’s videos like yours that bring calm, peace and whimsy to make the day feel like it’s all going to be all right! Take care of yourself! 💕We need you😘

[@Masohexe]

As someone still struggling, this video touched me very much. Also, for some reason, when you look into the camera the first time, it made me really emotional somehow. Don't know the psychology behind that. But it made me weep. Wishing you all the best.Greetings from Germany.

[@andrealeilasgs1661]

Your videos are very beautiful and bring me comfort with such beautiful landscapes ! Thanks.

[@MsJokyo]

This video couldn't have come at a better time. My partner, who is a long haul truck driver, hasn't been coming home often to protect myself and the rest of the family in case she gets sick with COVID in her travels. She came home briefly over the New Year, and didn't come home until last week. She only stayed 5 days, and won't be home for another 3 months again. I don't have a lot of connections, and she is my world, so this loss of her presence is devastating to me. I needed this very much. Thank you for every post you have made and will make - they heal me every time.

[@judymanning2538]

Just Hi 🤗 I read your post. I isolate due to depression but it gets lonely 🍀best wishes

[@marianl3447]

i am not here to promote another site or info bc do not want to take away from the specialness of this one..but take a look at thehealthyamerican.com (put www in front of that to get to it) .A lot of info about prevention of the virus and all viruses is more helpful than avoiding loved ones...and knowing how many stats were incorrect and how many actually died from other causes and told that...is good to know. My own bro was hospitalized for it ..home in a few days and no one in family got it . There is so much misinfo ....so much and fear building is the intent. there are more sources...of more valid and truthful info...search for it (or ask me) . there are things can do that yo do not ever have to stay away from loved ones and that are even more healing to be together but use NATURAL ...HERBS AND FOODS AND CONCOTIONS EVEN FREQ AND LIGHT MACHINES THAT COMPLETELY CREATE A VIRUS AND BACTERIAL FREE ENVIRONMENT RIGHT IN THE HOME WHERE THESE THINGS CAN'T EVEN LIVE OR HARM YOU...MUCH IS KEPT FROM POPULACE about cures and prevention bc of the control over media and other forms of info to keep pharma instead of farms and homes healing potentials with no side effects that already exist...from being known about and utilized. I see people in these fields,....and my own body is living proof of what i do and don't do and the affects. So know there are other ways...and i believed that so i did massive search and research ..of over 30 years...you can find it...just look and then share with partner.

[@Jlbrack84]

Expecting a reasonable amount of sadness in life is a great idea to teach.

[@alindsey1013]

That new way of filming is STUNNING

[@serenity3273]

One of the things I love about her channel is hearing her soothing voice .She should have a career doing voiceovers for a living.

[@seabreezesoapsofmaine]

YT needs a love button, for everything in this video is speaking directly to my soul. A broken little girl trying to just make a life of love and kindness...Thank you for your bravery and beauty. The world is better because of it~

[@h.s.5550]

Like food for the soul, so beautiful where you live!

[@craftyjournal7664]

It’s like the universe knew I needed to see this Thank you

[@suza2623]

Whoever said to you ARE YOU HAPPY? Is a beautiful soul ♥️ that itself is a reason to be grateful for 🙏🏼 Much love to you both

[@nafeezapersaud721]

Hi Paola! You are so brave to share your story, especially one that some people may consider to be taboo. When I was 12, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Epilepsy comes with anxiety and depression and I went through similar emotions of wanting to hide my feelings from my family so I could spare them of any worry. Doing that led to me hiding my true emotions from myself and always putting it off as something that will change once I get older. It wasn't until I was 25 I realized that I had to make the change myself; it wouldn't magically happen. I am getting professional help now and learning to find comfort in many ways. Like many other commenters here, one is watching your videos and similar KZbin channels. You all bring peace to many people and add a little comfort to our days.

[@nafeezapersaud721]

@@lailalivsdatter549 Thank you, Laila! So sweet!

[@pamketron]

Such a wonderful video. I’ve struggled with fibromyalgia for about 15 years now. It’s one of those invisible conditions. Sending Blessings to you and all others who struggle.

[@decapitatedfan2746]

Seing Aegir's presence by your side always brings me happiness

[@charitypabalinas3489]

You're living the life I always wanted

[@maximalismrehab6030]

Thank you for sharing this story and bringing better awareness of invisible illnesses. I have suffered from chronic neuropathic pain for the past 7 years. Sometimes I like my illness being invisible because people don’t treat me differently, but it’s a double edged sword as in those moments when I could use a bit of empathy and understanding, nobody can tell how much pain I am in. I guess this highlights the importance of kindness - we never know what struggles, health or otherwise, that other people are facing and we should always consider that a kind gesture, even from a complete stranger may make a world of difference in that persons day 🌻🌻

[@juanpedro4083]

I am thinking about to commit suicide because I am very ugly

[@julie2829]

@Pedro cardozo Please don't. Even without seeing you I know that just the fact that you exist is beautiful and adds beauty to this world. Honestly the human body it a great piece of art, and art is never ugly! Society's beauty standards are human-made and the only goal is to profit off our desire to follow those because we simply want to fit and be loved. And honestly those standards always change!! While before society loved thin eyebrows now society wants thick eyebrow, and while in Europe people might loves curvy bodies, in Asia they loves thin bodies... See how changing it is~ And there will always be different opinions. Maybe try to find beauty in the little things at first and also appreciate inward beauty of the heart. And remember that being different is beautiful! There isn't only one kind of flower on earth, in fact there are a whole big variety of flowers! But this doesn't stop them from being pretty in their own way! It's called diversity and it's pretty :) 🌼

[@anasophia4466]

You're such an inspiration. You seem like a person that radiates love and comfort. Thanks for sharing these intimate moments of your life with us.

[@esthershave3443]

Just want to say that finding your channel on KZbin has really inspired me so much ❤ Thanks so so much for sharing so much beauty 🙌

[@ishac93]

I'm currently going through the second wave of the pandemic in India. if you read this, please know, your videos keep me sane and allow me a couple of minutes of respite. Needless to say, the reality is terrible, tragic and mostly unbearable. I waver between numbness, sadness and fear. So, thank you. and please creating videos like these.

[@josephinestiles1486]

Currently on my lunch break lying under my desk and watching your content. You are a blessing.

[@murielgeiger945]

You are such a beautiful person inside and out and your sincerity equals your amazing environment. Thank you for being you. 😍

[@smileyhappyradio]

I love what you wrote that its never too late. I am finding myself watching your videos a second time, because, they really give me a sense of peace.

[@KalibutanNamuyoKumusta]

Your channel is the Reflection of me... The real me.

[@aurorakaterina4782]

I'm 17 going 18 this coming June and I am having a depression since I was in 8th grade. I feel like I will never feel happy again but this video popped up and it reminded me that someday I will find solace in solitude

[@harmankaur751]

Sending you loads of love ❤️

[@nicolegenerale]

💓💓💓

[@lanainauz764]

The very first scene of you walking with your dog is STUNNING

[@hope-3-464]

Thank you so much for saying that it will get better as I mature. I am a younger teenager right now and even on the hard days I find happiness knowing that as I get older and my hormones and stuff balances out, I will probably become calmer. The things you said about remembering that happy little girl inside you were also great. Ever since I was a little girl I have always had some anxiety, but I need to think of how little me remained happy and optimistic despite her fears.

[@elainedomigo7066]

I have a tough time these days,depression might just have grown.Your videos motivate me to start rebuilding and fixing myself.Thank you for motivating me through my tough times.I hope you and others can live a happy,stable,good life :)

[@MissyStarStruck]

You are the dream version of my desired life. This was beautiful in many ways.