HOW IS ATTACHMENT RELATED TO TRAUMA?

[@Laura-fy4ss]

Your explanations of BPD mothers and the trauma this creates in their children has explained so much to me about why I have such massive attachment and intimacy issues. Hypervigilance, not trusting anyone, auto-regulating, being highly self-critical...this is 110% me! I have done so much work on myself, and still I just loop through shame and anxiety in every single relationship. It's so exhausting and I wish I could stop 😢

[@redvelvetcakeYUM]

Dr. Gabor Maté discusses “Authenticity vs Attachment” perfectly.

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you!!:)

[@Matty521521]

@@DrKimSage You are a blessing Dr. Sage. I have been looking for a therapist in my real life I could talk face to face with like yourself. The connections you make I have so much proof of in my life, and I haven't found anyone else that provides help with your approach and understanding. I pray everyday I will soon find someone for help. I have listened to Gabor Mate when I was in my late teen years, the connections he made we remarkable and allowed me to understand trauma in my childhood. Thank You Dr. Sage

[@reneewachter1925]

Dr. Sage, I am very appreciative of your videos. I was raised by the Queen of Borderline personality. The research argued that a borderline parent often comes from a borderline parent too. I am trying to build a relationship with my mother, which is difficult but possible. Little step by little step and lots of steps back. It seems that she cannot help herself from having those destructive patterns. However, I think you should also mention those children of borderline parents, as much as they need to protect themselves and find healing, they are also the product of the same product. In other words, I heard someone saying, "Pain that is not transformed gets transmitted." Without playing the devil's advocate, I think it would be nice to mention those borderline children who need help and have their parents in need of help too. I understand it is not the child's place to "heal" their parents. But if I knew what I know today, I would not have made things worse with her and for her. I used to treat my mother like she was evil. Now, I treat her as an ally and join her in her suffering. Pointing out who she is from her childhood instead of pointing out my pain from my childhood. Anyhow, you are very gifted in directing people from trauma to healing.

[@kyleethekelt]

Kia ora, Kim. This makes a huge amount of sense to me. I was sent to the school for the blind as a four-year-old, but my life began (as did others with my eye condition) in a glass isolette with no touch allowed. Then my mother sent me to another hospital while she had major surgery, all before I was one yeare old. Those of us with Retinopathy of Prematurity did not fare well compared with others at the school under the constant psychological abuse of many years there. Similarly, not long before I was sent there, the policy was to admit babies, and friends of mine who were sent in infancy also didn't fare well.

[@Mooseily-p6e]

Your explanation of early childhood attachment styles, combined with trauma later in life, resulting in CPTSD was so clear and helpful. Thank you for your amazing explanation!

[@tiablasangoriti8347]

Dr Sage, I'm so happy to have stumbled on your videos. I will continue to watch. This is my area of concentration.

[@SeeCSeesCC]

❤ I truly respect, embrace, and appreciate your content. You really explain with a genuine heart.

[@ladykadiijha]

Dr. Kim Sage in SAGE MODE ✨️

[@hussfamaz6368]

Your videos are the best!!! Thank you for all that you do💓

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you so much:)!!!! It's a joy to share and I hope it's helpful!

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

This also explains why some in the military can both see and experience awful things and be OK while others are not.

[@alawton4427]

That is the perfect definition of cptsd

[@cherzee8964]

Thank you - this hits close to home and can’t wait to hear more about healing with respect to wounding attachment experiences (grew up w BPD mother)

[@DrKimSage]

You are welcome!:). Yes I will be sharing more about healing too and BPD moms!!

[@richwilliams7787]

This is Incredibly helpful. I have a dear dear loved one who suffers from this, and I am making every effort to understand it so I can help when it is needed most. Thank you for this.

[@muddgrub4402]

Great content (!!!), but I just love listening to the sound of your voice! Even just watching you talk with the volume turned down can have the effect of lowering my blood pressure by double digits: such obvious love, wisdom, and sincerity. Keep doing the good work and thank you! (How does your self-confidence like that?)

[@AuggieX1]

Your videos are incredibly helpful.

[@leahannwhite1111]

Attachment and trauma is imagined. ❤

[@CCJMSolutionsATL]

Hello Dr. Sage, I found your video very insightful. Can you share the link for the course/protocol that you mentioned?

[@faith7934]

Because I was raised dysfunctional with my mom wishing us dead everyday for the insurance money, then me running into the arms of an abusive man definitely caused me to be disorganized. I have never had a healthy relationship and now I'm in a relationship where he has an avoidant attachment Style where is I'm used to me and having more of an anxious or clingy styles.

[@fierfier9285]

You are amazing 😍

[@alawton4427]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[@atiger4716]

Dr Kim Sage, could you please give me some references to find the studies you mentioned in the video? Thanks for such a very informative video!

[@juliacarlstad4437]

I do not know if you read your comments but here we go. I adopted a child who was severely abused in his first foster home. While he was still in diapers he was beaten.... Even electrocuted all by a 12 year old boy. You don't have to be an adult to be a monster. He is so mentally ill now he needs 24 hour care. The state of Arizona is hiding it... Not like CPS cares about kids.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

You might be interested in Dr. Aimie Apigian - she has a similar story to you and she's a trauma and body expert

[@larrybowers3716]

Thank you

[@emmahedgecock7091]

You’re the best

[@pavanbk15589]

Why does our complexity in attachment sometimes directed towards the ones closest (like girlfriend or spouse) to us while we have some ease of interaction and emotions with friends and people in social setups? Is it because we have a fear of loss or other fear related parameters associated with the ones closest who we share love with but these parts are not really exposed in the social contexts?

[@melodyrogers5658]

I need help

[@DeanneReed70]

I'm curious how many are neurodivergent.

[@w.s.2102]

I don’t trust a god damn soul….. I’m hyper-independent and can look after myself on every level….. it’s not such a bad thing actually, especially for a Man

[@studentofabrahamiamavibrat3615]

I FEEL LIKE AN IMPOSTER WALKING AROUND IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS. EGO.

[@studentofabrahamiamavibrat3615]

I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS 'BINARY/NON BINARY TERM (BEING USED NOW) MEANS. ?

[@yoohoo9842]

Your starting music is too dramatic

[@studentofabrahamiamavibrat3615]

We ARE ALL LOOKING FOR THE LANGUAGE AND INSIGHTS TO HELP US UNDERSTAND WTF......WAS THAT ALL ABOUT??? WORDS AND LANGUAGE DEFINATELY HELP US AND EMPOWER US SO WE AT LEAST HAVE A BETTER UNDESTANDING OF OUR OWN AND OTHERS BEHAVIOUR. BECAUSE WE WANT TO GO BEYOND KNEE JERK REACTING AND HAEMORRAGING EMOTIONAL REACTIONS ALL THE TIME. IT USES UP TOO MUCH ENERGY AND TIME.

[@mushroomsdie]

You whole info is backward. I was from an orphanage and was not insecure, was not touched by being molded to toxic environment. I marred my husband that was in a toxic family dynamic and he thought it was normal. Until I pointed out that it was hurting me and not him when his parents became toxic toward me as well.

[@kimsage6575]

Hi all! Hope you found this helpful...I really don't want it to become about church abuse (which is obviously a worthy topic) but this is really about how our attachment impacts how we deal with life's traumas....and what to do in treating complex trauma and attachment. What are your thoughts? xo