How Men Date | Psychology Student Explains

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Күн бұрын

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@CRose9205 3 ай бұрын

Men dont talk about our emotions with women because often times, a woman loses her attraction to us. She doesnt view us as a man anymore. Almost like "how dare you not be invincible, this isnt what i signed up for." She wants a real man who doesnt burden her with his issues. I think this is one of the saddest things for a man. Years ago, i had an 8.5 year relationship end because i cried ONCE. After years of bs piled up, and i cried ONCE. And that was all it took. This was a girl who, for 8 years told me she wanted me to be emotional. If you were in my shoes, would you do it again? A man shows 1 moment of weakness.....jeez. I remember literally saving her from 2 creeps once. Fought 2 guys at once and sent them running. I was in such bad shape, they beat the dog shit out of me, but i defended her. I guess even that wasnt good enough.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

Wow I’m so sorry. Genuinely that’s heartbreaking. I personally don’t understand that kind of behavior and the story around it. What I can personally is that when a man cries it’s heartbreaking maybe because I don’t see it often and I understand how much they compartmentalize over time being told they have to be strong constantly. I’m sure it can become exhausting

@kellygreenii 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych Because healthy women tend to not understand (and sometimes not believe) the things that toxic women do. But a lot of how men behave in relationships have been forged by growing up with toxic mothers, and/or having dated toxic women. Men learn VERY quickly to not show weakness in front of women they are involved with. If you do, many will lose respect for you…and start looking for someone stronger. Or they take what you have shared with them in a moment of vulnerability…weaponize it…and then throw it back in your face as an insult the next time she’s mad at you. Add that to your list of things women shouldn’t do. You will permanently damage a relationship with a man if you do that. He may forgive you, but he will NEVER forget that you did that. Because you have shown that you cannot be trusted and that you will not have his back when he needs you. That instead of supporting him, you will turn on him. You have just disqualified yourself as a potential wife.

@wingnut71 3 ай бұрын

You cant ever cry infront of a woman. They will despise you for showing any weakness. Learned this at age 9 when my female teacher mocked and insult me for crying. Despite being plagued with depression for 34 years i will only ever cry in private. My daughter even asked "why does daddy never cry?" The answer, of course, was Daddies just dont cry. The truth is we arent allowed to, well, not publicly at least.

@zombine7103 3 ай бұрын

The modern society and people make me want to puke. Current world we live in is cr*p.

@kiwia8271 3 ай бұрын

LOL, it was for her, just your turn with her, as it is for 99% of women, which is why you just use them, the same way they use/treat us, this from a 74yr old man who learnt at a VERY young age what women are REALLY like and stayed single.

@dealswithnormiesallday 3 ай бұрын

"How men date?"...we don't. 63% have walked away.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

Touché

@FocusedFighter777 2 ай бұрын

And more W did already

@brianmeen2158 Ай бұрын

“63% have walked away” Walked away to where? Their bedroom and videogame system? Many of these guys are going to regret going their own way

@adrielperez3973 Ай бұрын

@@brianmeen2158 like most of the women nowadays? If it's that, I agree

@paulbarrington7415 2 ай бұрын

Biggest point in my relationship with my wife...we thank each other for everything. We don't say 'you're SUPPOSE to do that". Every little thing, I don't care what, making the bed, cleaning the kitchen, going to the grocery store, we thank each other and appreciate it.

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

Love that!

@Lissitchka 2 ай бұрын

THIS SHOULD BE NORMAL❤

@Lissitchka 2 ай бұрын

THIS SHOULD BE NORMAL ❤

@hasensaurus Ай бұрын

so true. my ex comes from a loving family, I from a broken one. I was there for her in the way my parents were never there for each other, and wanted recognition for it. She thought everything I was and done for her as normal and "supposed to" so she never bothered thanking me. We broke up.

@monsieurminimal6277 3 ай бұрын

I had to end the relationship with my GF which I really loved and cared for, because she presented all the signs that you mentioned.

@PlatoThegreat-kv5ho 3 ай бұрын

really explain what and why

@sasapetroski981 2 ай бұрын

Do it before you buy ring😉😉

@cephkit 3 ай бұрын

A very good synopsis, but with two caveats: 1. Intuitive - you said men aren’t intuitive. That’s not strictly speaking true. Men’s and women’s intuition tends to be different, but neither less important. Men tend to be focused on protective elements, so aggression, and threat sensitivity, as well as applications towards hunting. Women’s intuition seems to tend towards social homogeneity, so hierarchy and status. Men don’t really care as much about status, if someone is in charge, we can get behind them, and most often we’ll all get some sort of taking the lead moment. This also applies to the comment about intelligence and complexity. Ask a guy about his interests, and you’ll see he’s got complex thoughts. Just generally not what you’re thinking about. 2. Narcissism and smash - you said most men go through a narcissistic woman controlling stage. While I understand you may mean young teenage boys being jerks, it feels more like you mean the narrow band of well formed, early resourced sociopaths, who’ve learned to be a problem. Most guys don’t really go through a “controlling narcissist” phase, in a sense they’re getting sex out of you, because most 14yo boys aren’t getting any, and aren’t fighting for it like that. Most guys grow out of normal childhood narcissism before they even get a taste of dating. Many guys spend decades waiting for romantic recognition in spite of how good they are. Separately, if you’re getting butterflies over a prospective, it’s a terrible basis for starting a relationship. The guy that you’re getting flutters over? More likely to be the small group not interested in you as a person. So that’s when you should be more cynical. If they show the character over time, that’s what you can trust. Trust is a keyword here. Hence a trustworthy guy is also going to be ready to commit, and not string you along. Most people aren’t ready before 20, but men tend to be ready to commit much earlier than women seem to, but they should be basically ready at the same time. That’s a big question mark in modern relationships. Otherwise, a great overview of why modern pairing has become terrible for men and women.

@kellygreenii 3 ай бұрын

@@cephkit That guy who gives them the butterflies? It’s the guy who represents their unresolved family business/ trauma. So they are selecting for people whom will eventually cause them pain…. In an unending cycle unless they recognize it. Healthy relationships start slowly and often quietly. They are characterized by warmth not by ecstatic high and crushing lows born of unpredictability.

@phosion 3 ай бұрын

Good Points listed here. I can agree that there was never really a control phase for me, just a time where realizing the results of romantic engagement didnt have cookie cutter results and the longterm intention of women I had been with were not what the romantic ideals inspired the actions to achieve. I find men to be highly intuitive as well, but not in a way that seems socially dependent as you said. I think that pitfall of women's approach to interpreting men's intentions with dating can be rooted in how they are perceiving themselves as a thing that is valuable to obtain, "being the prize" or "being worthy" etc etc, that stencil of logic doesnt leave room for the truth of the timeless tale.

@astrolord4325 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this comment. I also wanted to point out how video about men being misunderstood, also makes points that still unfairly misunderstoods men. You beat me to it. Like advice that Men won't change until they want to change is not about the men. It's about women too, therefore it's humans in general! So many toxic, narcisistic traits and behaviours that is explicitly told some men have, it is not just some men, it is also some women too.

@alenaadamkova7617 2 ай бұрын

Tammy Peterson was talking about it recently how "the birth control" affected her mentality when she was young woman. She wasnt aware of any danger, because the pills caused she was more risky... she would put herself in a risky situations, without selfwareness. She had depressions and when she stopped taking the pills she got better. Then she started to take the pills again and her personality completelly changed. Jordan Peterson noticed it too. She noticed the same attitude with modern women, that if thye take "birth control pills" these women put themselves in risky situations without realising it, flirting with strangers...engaging a risky situations. the pills are altering the hormonal cycle,the microbipom of the guts,it affects the serotonin release, but also the mindset.

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

Brith control has a huge impact on women, that’s true - a great piece of information to discuss

@FocusedFighter777 2 ай бұрын

And yet when we denounce it.... And yet, the burden is all on us to take contraceptives....

@hasensaurus 3 ай бұрын

Men do change, but the woman needs to prove her value for him to change. If the woman that pays close attention to my needs and makes me want to run home to her says she wants something, I will make superhero jumps to do it. If the woman who nags and criticizes me all day, who would rather drain me and bring me down with each conversation about her low self-esteem tells me to change or she`ll leave: good riddance!

@stefanmatton8778 3 ай бұрын

Dont bother, they'll never get it

@bonnie1097 2 ай бұрын

Just treat each other with respect. It's that simple.

@cliftonbrooks-peakperforma9816 3 ай бұрын

I wish my ex would have known a lot of these things while we were together. Don’t get me wrong I fucked up too. A lot of the things you described was my every day life. You’ve got a new subscriber.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

🤍🙏🏼 grateful it was insightful for you and happy that you’re here. Trust we all fuck up the most important thing is that we learn from that

@blikskaters 3 ай бұрын

Fantastic. Things are apparently moving back in the right direction.

@christopherparsons3224 3 ай бұрын

Some guys may resent this, but I will spell it out plainly for you ladies. Men want women for everything they can't do for themselves. So, if they tell you they don't want to get married, don't want to have kids, don't want to live with you, unless they only want you for a friend to hang out with, all that leaves is sex. If he starts going back on his words and saying, oh yeah, but just not right now, then he was playing you. A man knows in his heart what it is that he wants.

@ibrahimjaved5574 3 ай бұрын

How men date? You mean the ones that get to date?

@LGDarksteed 3 ай бұрын

I think you're talking about a very specific type of man in this video. The bad boy or the jock or high level CEO successful types. Most guys I know aren't looking to have their egos stroked. They also aren't looking for random hook-ups.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

Definitely not an “all men are the same across the board” as that would be too simplistic. But there are patterns in groups of men. I did mention this was more aligned with highly successful men that would take into account CEO, athletes, etc.

@LGDarksteed 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych OK. Cool. Fair point.

@shawn_and_one 3 ай бұрын

I am retired military man.. She did a good job from my perspective. Purpose > happiness

@zombine7103 3 ай бұрын

I dont care about whoever any man is but whoever hooks up is an id*ot.

@jeffreyrusselljr7713 3 ай бұрын

@kaitannmichelle what is "sucessfull"

@darrenskjoelsvold 3 ай бұрын

Holy cow the "now I'm responsible for her" thing is totally true and often times the woman you love seems like a toddler on red 40 covered in burning napalm running next to the pool with scissors. Suddenly, you're responsible for her, and she seems to want to destroy herself.

@nucle4rpenguins534 2 ай бұрын

Bit of a turn off to me at least ….. I’m not a parent lol we’re romantic partners. ‘Playful’ incompetence doesn’t do it for me, I don’t know women I’ve liked so far enjoyed learning, have strong work ethics, are kind, and are emotionally stable (super underrated trait imo)

@live.life.secure.coaching 2 ай бұрын

I laughed so hard at this comment cause, as a woman, this is so accurate. 😂 Some women, sometimes myself even, are reckless and naive. It's a miracle we're still alive.

@SterileNeutrino 2 ай бұрын

Then it's time to ride away. B.S. is nice when < 20 but after that it becomes tiring fast

@williescraftscorner1467 Ай бұрын

I feel like, as a man there's a couple of things I'd love to offer perspective on. For one, seeking "peace" is a big yes. There is a kind of emotional peace women can offer that's golden, valuable and irreplaceable. The dislike for "the wrong kind" of criticism goes towards that goal too, which isn't to say there's not a good criticism. Something many people seem to forget -- its not what is said, but how it is said, that matters. Same goes for "hinting". At least for myself, I tend to not respond to hinting even if I see it as it feels like it leads down a road of repeating patterns. Which essentially makes the relationship exhausting and usually less peaceful, that's not something I do value in a partner.

@petelipson3769 8 күн бұрын

Peace. Happiness. Joy..........you nailed it.

@alexandercoll4863 2 ай бұрын

Hi, straight man here. 12:20 we very much NEED sex to feel loved and validated.

@rada222 3 ай бұрын

You forgot to mention that if a man is already looking for a woman for a serious relationship, sex on the first date immediately removes the woman from the list, leaving only sex because such things only happen in the movies "Love at first sight, sex and LTR"

@lordelite3343 2 ай бұрын

😂 95% them had One Night Stands than gonna pretend to be innocent and raise the bar for you, i don't believe none of them unless their a proven virgin Not the wild cherries. Virgin>girl with high interest>girl who make you jump thru hoops>N/A broken 304

@lordelite3343 2 ай бұрын

95% them had One Night Stands than gonna pretend to be innocent and raise the bar for you, i don't believe none of them unless they have the pass Not a wild cherry

@bonnie1097 2 ай бұрын

We think the same about you. If you're that easy, that's on you.

@EriPages 2 ай бұрын

Wrong. A man with a healthy libido can and will.

@jimenas6620 Ай бұрын

I'm sorry but that's not practical, I'm not gonna have any relationship with somebody who is bad in the bedroom. We need to know this as soon is possible, the two of us i mean 😂😂😂

@ManOfHonorChildOfGod Ай бұрын

This is such an accurate representation of how I feel about relationships and roles

@MrLu777 3 ай бұрын

I wish most women would see things like this one. One thing I hate is coming home after work, after dealing with certain mean or grumpy coworkers you would like to punch sometimes, and having a woman giving me a hard time for little dumb things or things that happened weeks ago. I had an ex-girlfriend who created a big drama after I came from college, just because she had a dream I was with a blonde hair woman.....twice. All that for a stupid dream. Her logic was ( emotions) that she dreamed it twice, which means it will happen. Talking about Minority Report movie...." You are under arrest for a crime you will commit years later." At the end, I said to her that if she keeps bugging me or creating chaos for dumb reasons, eventually I will find another woman.

@MZ-iq9nz Ай бұрын

So you threaten her to leave, then she dreams about it and we have nightmares and you threaten her again it must be so nice to live with you what a horror!

@combatseawolf Ай бұрын

I'm happy this comments section is passing the vibe check. Subbed to you for how based you are

@LilithCain 2 ай бұрын

Your comment section is always 🔥🔥🔥 So many brilliant, introspective minds! Some, however, make me quite sad, and i just want to hug them and apologize on behalf of the toxic women they've known. 💙😘

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

It breaks my heart too 🥹

@sgt92 3 ай бұрын

It Felt for a moment that you are talking to me.

@DanielRicany 3 ай бұрын

You forgot another turnoff, vulgar language and promiscuity.

@jimenas6620 Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@kellygreenii 3 ай бұрын

Professional guy in his 50s. You’re about 85% right. The 15% that you (appear ) to have missed may be just due to the focus on speaking to a presumed female audience. Like most people, you misunderstand what RP is. Just like you (correctly) realize that men have certain qualities hardwired into our biology. Women do as well. Individual and social psychology can significantly bend those factors (a lot more than in men) but biology is always the firmware operating in the background. What RP is in truth, is that men need to recognize this firmware that is part of women’s reproductive “operating system” and work with it… not against it. You will not be able to recognize a man who is fully RP. He will look like that charming, masculine guy who moves with that relationship energy. He simply gives you what you need rather than what you think you want. The men you notice are the ones who have “taken it” but can’t accept what they now can’t “unsee”. They are angry because they realize that society sold them lies. They are resentful because they refuse to accept that it is not a woman’s job to love them unconditionally. Her “job” is to find the most competent and biologically fittest mate (means different things to different women) that is available to her…. …and that our job as men is to BE that guy--BE that guy she deems worthy to have his genes reproduced and passed on to her children-- or keep honing our edge if we are not. …and not whine about the “burden”. Because once you are “that guy” for a woman? She will find you.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

I very much agree strictly speaking from an evolutionary psychology perspective

@kellygreenii 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych That’s what “true RP” is. It’s evo psych….and as a guy you learn very quickly that it drives how most women interact with most men. It’s just that most women are not consciously aware of it. The guy who is “true RP” just accepts that this is how women are--in truth-and moves accordingly. As a result his interactions with women improve. Because he stops doing the things that the Romantic myth says women (should) want, but in reality make him less attractive. He starts doing the things that women won’t openly speak of (or actually complain about) but that most women actually are drawn to in reality.

@SALFXEF 2 ай бұрын

Never ask a fish how to catch a fish ask a fisherman. While I agree with some of the things that she said she's not correct on all and there is no way a woman would know. One of the things I disagree with is that there are plenty of women who are out here just to be physical. They are heartless and act without emotion they do not care about your feelings. Maybe I'll have to do a reaction video to cover all of this

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

Can’t make the conditions true across the board but I think they’re directionally correct. Of course there are women who operate that way, I just wouldn’t argue that’s the majority

@SALFXEF 2 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych It's way more than you think

@theroyalcrownedtiger2946 3 ай бұрын

She just wants you for your resources, and she brings nothing to the table.

@sasapetroski981 2 ай бұрын

I was in relationship with one girl 2 years, never cheat her, always talk with her when she was in bad mood. One day when I was on work she was on party and start dating with one guy behind my back. My intuition is so strong.. Was talking with her over phone and caught tone in her voice... Instantly was clear to me that she have new boyfriend and we talking about basic every day things. I know to read body leanguage and easy can catch how she feel in moment

@joanofarcxxi 22 күн бұрын

Years ago, I met a man whom some women considered a "sex symbol." He was 6.3 feet tall, had a V-shaped body, and was extremely charismatic. He had long blond hair and resembled a Viking, which makes sense since he is Swedish. He was quite charming and managed to convince me that he was my dream man, with his looks and charisma playing a part. He was artistic, independent, and diligent-a fearless individual undeterred by any obstacle. Fast forward a few years, he moved to my country, and we started a family together. However, I was unaware that he was an alcoholic. He began drinking again when our child was still a toddler, turning life into a nightmare. He became abusive, with mood swings so severe they could give you whiplash, as Bella Swan might say. Overwhelmed, I didn't know how to react. I begged and pleaded with him to stop, but he didn't. I threatened to leave, yet he always reassured me that everything would be fine, even as the abuse persisted. Eventually, I called the police, and he was arrested and jailed. I severed all ties with him, which was incredibly hard at first, especially since we had been together for 12 years and shared a child. A year later, a friend convinced me to speak to him again. Reluctantly I agreed. I knew that he missed our son. Fast forward: we succeeded in staying friends and co-parenting our child, a choice I made without court intervention. Mutual trust was key, and it proved effective. I knew that he would never strike me again. And I managed to emotionally detach from him romantically, recognizing the high risk associated with his intermittent binge drinking. Interestingly, my detachment only increased his interest and respect towards me. He's someone who is put off by what he perceives as soft, passive, "clingy" women, yet he is drawn to those who seem independent and indifferent. He thrives on challenges, a trait I now understand as genuinely masculine. I am not advocating that women should pursue relationships with abusive men with addiction issues, or those who have emotional dysregulation. Quite the opposite. It's important to carefully evaluate potential partners and not be influenced solely by charm, good looks, or other superficial qualities. I thought I'd share, maybe this will help someone.

@pblade26 Ай бұрын

Another thing with masculine women is we don't want to be dominated. For example: if she's physically stronger than he is and she wants something and says, "you're going to do this or get this for me or I'm going to beat your ass" that's going to be a hard no. However, If we're "playing" around and she overpowers me, that's different.

@yogabbagabba2202 Ай бұрын

I really felt the “fuck I fell in love and I have to make sure she is safe at all times”

@Mizugumo_ Ай бұрын

this needs more views

@fastenthenzip6180 3 ай бұрын

But...why would Men get married in today's world? It is a bit too risky for us. 8 years of Dating the same Woman...sounds just fine.

@ppmroberts-t5r 5 күн бұрын

That women think leading with sex will make him commit: mind boggling. Explains my history with women: at any point after a few conversations with them they would suddenly push for s3x I m out. They usually didn t even know where I lived at that point, wtf. To me it always felt like a huge red flag them pushing for it too hard too early on. Just keep your legs closed and get to know him well. If he likes you he will be more than willing to wait and enjoy the process of getting to know each other. Hope someone can get value from this notion. 41yo male.

@joshuabenitez3260 Ай бұрын

I'm definitely an outlier. As a Christian man I was taught from young not to chase after sex. I lusted after women and wanted to have sex, but I was already conditioned to be more focused on long-term emotionally entangled relationships rather than short quickies (actually never experienced a quickie or one night stand). So I don't have a "hook up bucket". Because (1) I don't feel comfortable with sleeping around with strangers . (2) I feel more fullfilled having sex with a woman I love. (3) I lack the social skills required for being a successful flirt. I'm 33 now. I have only had sex with one person in my whole life up to this point and that is now my ex-wife. A dude who is back in the dating market after 8 years there doesn't seem to be any emotionally available women nowadays.

@Adama.1 Ай бұрын

This video is almost funny to me. As a guy, sex is like the least important thing to me when dating. I kinda want to fall for a girl without even kissing, then I know it's right. I managed to do so once in my life. But she left. I feel like she was the one that needed more physical interaction. And I was the one holding myself for ''the one''. Kinda sad she left right when I started feeling like she was the one, but whatever.

@francescovalentini2932 2 ай бұрын

All correct, except the non intuitive part. We are, but tend to avoid trying to figure it out, preferring to hear a woman’s issue directly. No beating around the bush.

@SterileNeutrino 2 ай бұрын

Here's one though: absolutely no ring

@BL-N3xus 7 күн бұрын

You nailed it. 👏👏👏

@dmitripisartchik1296 Ай бұрын

Something else that is overlooked - women can be terrible at communicating sexual attraction - which is what most guys really would be perfectly happy with while trust and connection are being established. If we're on a romantic date with you, it's because we want to sleep with you - eventually. A good man will not try to get in your pants on a first or even a 10th date - but we're not sticking around for much longer if there is no clear (to us) signal that we are desired (or we see a red flag).

@sergejstankovic2388 2 ай бұрын

When it comes about CHAD hook up is just fine !

@kimmysander2447 Ай бұрын

Great video, a lot of this goes both ways.

@Kaitdoespsych Ай бұрын

agree

@TRXST.ISSUES 3 ай бұрын

I’m just going to stay fixated on that cool bookcase in the corner

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

We love a good book.

@justinseiyanyx6092 3 ай бұрын

It is kinda cool

@blikskaters 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych Cool. Let's play book oracle. What is the title of the fourth book of the third shelf ? (from the top start counting)

@njparham3829 Ай бұрын

Didn't ask for this channel but it's interesting i might stay awhile

@Kaitdoespsych Ай бұрын

Glad you’re here 🤘🏼

@fourleafcloveer5011 2 ай бұрын

Great information if we lived in 1800's. These days, women don't see a man for any reason that matters. They see money, comfort and a social position. It's the idea and how things look over love. My ex never cared about me and it was obvious when we broke up. She was down and out and needed some supplies.

@dmitripisartchik1296 Ай бұрын

Small contention. Men are intuitive and we do pick up on signs and clues - we're just wired for a different target environment. Men have to be more intuitive with other men, because that is who they are competing with (allies) and against (threats). As such, men have have a more limited intuition regarding women, because they are generally not threats, and although they can be allies, they are of a qualitatively different kind. Moreover, intuition is not simply and innate and inert ability - it can be trained and developed. Many women fail to take accountability for their neglect of this fact, while some only use it maliciously.

@thenateyoulove 15 күн бұрын

You'll be surprised how insecure a lot of men are, a lot of men go to women just for sex sure. But you'll be surprised how many men are terrified of being vulnerable with people in general let alone women. If you can earn that vulnerability with a man, he will fall for you. But he ain't gonna show that at the start cause he's had his heart broken too many times.

@danielhamilton5094 20 күн бұрын

Women don't want a Man in touch with his feelings, they want a Man in touch with her feelings

@Kaitdoespsych 20 күн бұрын

you know, this may be a very valid point for many women especially in the modern world. appreciate this comment

@estebancinco8572 2 ай бұрын

You are really intelligent. I’ve been watching your videos.

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

I appreciate that!

@willdean-stobie5730 2 ай бұрын

This is fantastic. Well done.

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

Thank you very much!

@petelipson3769 8 күн бұрын

The buckets you mention are mostly correct, but lets be honest, any lady can magically be transported from the "do not touch with a 10 ft pole" to the "hook up bucket" if the guy is in his 20s and has consumed 4 or more alcoholic beverages.....this from a 46 y.o. guy, 😅

@Dreykopff 3 ай бұрын

Good video. But still, you can definitely not generalize us wanting physical touch. I want and crave it, yes, but my father, on the other hand, has some big trouble with it, for example. I'd say love language is a concept that exists mostly outside of genders...and people shouldn't make the mistake to start relationships with people that don't have matching love languages (that is exactly the one thing that led my parents to divorce some 20 years and 2 kids in -- they're still good friends outside of that). Anyhow, there's one question I have about touch-avoidant women...are they like that because they get all the hugs and kisses in the world from their female friends and no man could compete with that, or is it exactly the ones that actually lack those touchy friend groups and thus believe they also don't want it in a relationship? The long-term investment provider thing is honestly archaic at this point and it's time people realize this. Women are well-established, well-educated and well-earning parts of the workforce and men no longer earn enough to support a whole family alone. It's gotta be 50-50 or something remotely within reach. That also happens to be the safest option for both partners, because you know, with how flimsy and unpredictable relationships are these days, it has to be possible that both partners can be allowed a graceful exit when they aren't actually a match, given what divorce and separation laws do in cases of clear asymmetry. Broken men and women aren't pleasant to be around for whoever they're gonna see next, so please let's just stop breaking each other to begin with. Meme answer for last question: "Chances are he's serious if he never gets girls to begin with and you find him ugly."

@randyduncan795 3 ай бұрын

So much here that's good. You got female dating priority somewhat wrong. A super majority want to date Chad. They give it up the first night for him. They fail to understand that as a 6, Chad who is a 9 will smash them and that's it. If she's a 9 she won't be with a 6 at all but Chad will entertain a 6 for fun only. So she hits 28 having failed this way numerous times with Chad, Tyrone, & Julio but now she meets Brad, who is a 6 like her but she likes him for other reasons yet she expects him to wait for what she gave Chad right away. Is he a sucker to do this? Does she respect him the same way she respected Chad if he does? Finally, you must offer more than physical if you expect him to want you for more than physical. There are so many who think they need bring nothing to the table because in their minds they are the table. I'm so glad I found a fine woman who doesn't behave this way. I had seen so much that even though all the signs were there she gave me all of her twenties before I married her. I've never been happier but I cringe at what our little boy will be up against.

@joanofarcxxi 22 күн бұрын

How do you know this? Are you a "Chad" yourself? Are you judging based on your own assumptions, experience, or your academic credentials? And why do you rate people by numbers, as if they were items at an auction? Women gain experience over time in discerning who is a suitable partner. Young women may enjoy the company of less suitable men, but as they mature, they realize these men are not suitable for the long term. I would never date a man now whom I might have dated at 21. If your wife waited years to marry you, she is a good woman, and you should appreciate her and avoid seeking trouble. You should exemplify healthy masculinity for your son, so he will understand how to conduct himself as a man and choose good partners. It's absurd to think all women are the same, only wanting "Chad," and never learning through experience or maturity. If you are happy with your wife, that alone demonstrates that there are women with whom men can be happy. Value this and exemplify being a good man who respects women and consistently makes wise choices for your son to observe.

@ronin7723 9 күн бұрын

I don't know what you're talking about, but not love, because it's been a long time since women have inspired poetry in men. What's left is social conditioning and strategies as you say.

@leebishop7591 2 ай бұрын

Man, here. We do see females like cars. We get pissd wen theres a nick or scratch on it. We're territorial and care where we leave/park it. We care how used and how much mileage is on it. We care abt the paint job and rims. And if we test drive it and it doesn't feel right, we'll test drive another one. Bc we want a car that'll last and feels good wen we're in it.

@tonydeluna8095 3 ай бұрын

This is going to be great! Thank you kait for uploading this!

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

Hope you enjoy it!

@tonydeluna8095 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych I am as a matter of fact!

@Baseraver 3 ай бұрын

As a response to 13:22 - 14:02 and why I consider this bad advice: Especially in todays times, it is not considered wise to marry any woman for multiple reasons. What many women dont understand, though, is that marriage is not a necessity for a "successful life". It literally DOES NOT MATTER if there is a ring on that finger or not - both parties can still decide to cheat, both can still decide to break up. The only thing that really matters for a successful relationship is that both parties actively decide that they WANT to live and stay with the other every single day, consistently. This is the simple reason why marriage is not considered to be of any practical use for men who act in a pragmatic way. And women who live in a fairy tail should stop idealizing marriage. There is no safety in it for him to stay at all. It is not a necessity for a successful family.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

I talked about marriage and divorce in my last video. I think marriage has meaning but I also can see where men can be at risk but I also think that’s context dependent. Is marriage for everyone, no. But I think it comes down to values more than the ring itself.

@Baseraver 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych Agreed - I basically tried to describe the same: its values that matter.

@wingnut71 3 ай бұрын

I dont think women do idealise marriage that much. Surr the love the ceremoney, the dress the ring and all that but they see it as a right of passage for a woman and also marker of success. They are not invested long term and they do not intend to honor the vows they say. I'm pretty sure every single woman now approaches marriage with the belief that it is just a temporary arrangement that this necessary for her to get male support while she is in her "mother/childbearing phase". They no longer see it as a life long commitment and there is no intent that they will see it through "until death do us part" Men need to be aware of this as we are still under the illusion that marriage is for life. This is why the laws need to change. Once the husband has performed his role of egg fertiliser and the resourse provider he quickly finds that he is just above the family dog in the his wifes hierarchy of importance. She still needs his attendance for a while longer though, as she would be really lonely and scared with small children on her own. However, once the kids are old enough to keep her occupied with conversation the husband is no longer necessary, he is just useful. This he is further demoted to a live in handyman/taxi driver/security guard pickle jar opener. Once this happens he better not become any sort of a problem or he will be divorced and his wealth, his family and his very purpose in life will be all be taken away from him by the state. This is the pattern that repeats over and over and men need to wake the fuck up and refuse to get married until the laws are changed.

@BizzKek-hc3bd Ай бұрын

cheer up - those days are going away. The 3 hole monte game is becoming no longer worth it - not the expense, not the games, not the lies, not the cheating, not the gossip, not the bullshiate. Women need to compete with a warm washcloth and a fast download ... most don't / can't. and add in the recent #M3T00 marathon and y'all choosing bears. meh. Go be strong & independent - more & more of us no longer care anymore. Let our Apathy be your guiding light to our Indifference. Celebrating the 4B Movement: No Marriage, No living together, No Dating, No Sexin (no kids)

@BizzKek-hc3bd Ай бұрын

@ghostbearr1 27 күн бұрын

I have a question for Kait, Are you ever going to address the unrealistic expectations that a majority of women have?

@Kaitdoespsych 27 күн бұрын

Yes. In my next video 🫡

@ronmexico5908 2 ай бұрын

Comparison is the thief of joy

@Kaitdoespsych 2 ай бұрын

Facts

@mdhazeldine 2 ай бұрын

Woman makes a video attempting to explain men to women (and does a pretty good job of it to be fair) and the comments are all men. Not surprised. Shame really. I don't know if it's that women just don't watch KZbin or if they prefer to be in denial about why they're struggling? Anyway, good luck to you Kait. I hope some women find your channel.

@DarkMatterCurator 22 күн бұрын

A large portion or possibly most younger women do not want to acknowledge mens struggles or problems because it might mean they lose some power or validation from their struggles. Socially or economically.

@jpb9524 3 ай бұрын

You don’t “Deserve” anything you didn’t earn ladies. Marriage is dead.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

I disagree with this statement for lots of reasons but you’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t think the idea that someone has to ‘earn’ love, commitment, marriage, loyalty etc is a healthy lens whatsoever. I also think the meaning behind marriage is what makes it important. People deserve to be treated respectfully- that doesn’t mean everyone is meant for everyone. Compatibility matter massively. Maybe you meant this through the lens of accolades, which I’d agree handouts are not useful but I’m speaking strictly from a lens of humanity.

@jpb9524 3 ай бұрын

@@Kaitdoespsych Only children and animals are loved unconditionally…. That’s reality … even if we think or feel that it shouldn’t be that way. Accept what is and live from there.

@jamesOneil-mg3bq 2 ай бұрын

@@KaitdoespsychIf a man has to earn everything in his life through effort/hard work and "earning it", then why is it not the same for women. Is this another topic in the encyclopedia of double standards you all have? Of course it is. Why the hell in this modern age of "equality" would men not require a women to earn her keep. There are no free rides anymore.

@Tomasz-r2t 3 ай бұрын

When man discovers that woman has big baggage of previous relations. This is the end of

@FireMarbles 3 ай бұрын

Great video. Regarding physial touch, yeah, at the end of the day, I just want a hug or to hold hands.

@Kaitdoespsych 3 ай бұрын

we all need a hug sometimes

@blikskaters 3 ай бұрын

two cold hands ?

@Growwithgrace101 Ай бұрын

My ex left me really confused because he didn’t fit either hook up or committment....it was like half one half the other.