How Narcissist Steals Your Unconscious, Lures YOU into His Nightmare World

The narcissist induces in you a dream state by entraining you, takes over your unconscious, mirrors you as loving mother would, inserts himself as an intractable introject in your mind.
When you cry for help, no one gives it because the narcissist is nobody and "nobody is killing you" (like in the story of Ulysses and the Cyclops).
The guy in the thumbnail is Jacques Lacan - not Sam Vaknin.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...

[@hodders9834]

The narcissistic lobotomy, you end up just staring out of a window with no thoughts, no emotion, you just shut down. It's hard to wake up.

[@hodders9834]

@@joegreene8299 yes in this state even your memory is hard to access.

[@donnaditredici8213]

Started waking up had a stroke cant walk

[@donnaditredici8213]

Yesim paralized

[@donnaditredici8213]

Ty so much

[@donnaditredici8213]

Staying away

[@aadilmoolla9585]

When I came out of my relationship, the first thing I thought to myself was “you can’t make this shit up, it needs to be made into a movie”

[@donnaditredici8213]

Yes go for it blessings tonu

[@donnaditredici8213]

Im staying away far away

[@awake78]

Dont you just dream of exposing him / her though ? To everyone and somehow make them believe WHAT these broken souls really are ? Knowing they are out there all over laughing at you and telling everyone around you are the weirdo is just crazy to me Anyhoo - glad some of you cant see them anymore. Mine lives not that far, surely on the same way to work too with his Missus of the Universe who sadly believes him 😼 Its a double shock in my case : 1. Him - the master manipulator who triangulated exceptionally well 2. Her - who stands by his side like a headless chicken In the end i know i win as i finally saw him for what he is but there is this last bit of recovery to process …… - being lied by both of these monsters Its a long road for sure ………

[@mistydawn8940]

@@smithhamilton3024 They have!! Watch Annihilation!! I felt like it was describing the nightmare I was living in perfectly!!

[@crayonofdarkness215]

@Zennnn especially if they have even met said narcissist who had their mask on when they met them and they can’t believe that they can even do wrong because the charisma is so strong when they put it on.

[@Patricia-lb6ix]

A nightmare that leaves you in shock. 😔

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

My narc was such a big fat forking zero of a person. Not a thought in his head. Big fancy job, but absolutely the inner world of a gnat. Shortly before his very dramatic, narcissistic collapse, I was cleaning our garage and I thought to myself, wow. If he were to die today, the only thing I’d have to find a home for is his yeti cup collection and his ball caps. 50 years old, but zero interests beyond multiple addictions. What a sorry existence he had. I am so glad to be divorcing him. Let life begin.

[@arlette2722]

I thought it was Professor Vaknin in the thumbnail , him and Lacan do look like twins!

[@Tygress_]

Same it’s tripping me out.. they are so similar!

[@SunnyCRIEDoverGarlicBread]

Wtf they are twins! 😳💀

[@dodo-e4x]

IKR tf

[@mych59]

Scary 😧

[@samanthabell4219]

I did too !!

[@zeilaporto9504]

"Every attempt to explain herself is dismissed that causes her lack of identity" . Yep.

[@lindsayomama3481]

Brilliantly put, Sam: "Outsource your identity to me, because I've taken your authentic original identity, and trampled it underfoot."

[@WellStyledImages]

This video is a TEXTBOOK of pure genius level, eye opening wisdom!!!!! I consider myself privileged to be alive in the same decade as Prof Sam Vaknin.

[@SoundSista222]

Only a decade?

[@Fururu333]

Wonderland really is a nightmarish world. Where things don’t make sense, you start doubting yourself, up is down and so on. And the characters in it are dismissive and speaking in riddles, confusing you even more, or are downright hostile. It truly is a great analogy for a relationship with someone with npd or aspd. You left us in suspense though, Sam! How do we reset our system and come back to normal?

[@Comidaporvida]

I don't believe we can ever experience a normal such as others speak of

[@goodyman6928]

Incredible. Narcs are robots, the virtual simulation. So Professor non-directly confirmed - we live in a simulation. This is not our world. It's theirs

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

Yes. They are the NPCs of this world and there seem to be more of them every year.

[@margarethodges6689]

I remember towards the end of the relationship he said to me "All you seem to do is gaze out of the window "now I know why .

[@franlewis1607]

Dr. Vaknin, Thank you. I finally get the hall of mirrors and looking into him as a mirror. Incredible and yet, disturbingly sad. He did not exist. You are a brilliant teacher.

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

I won't forget this lecture until the end of my life.

[@hlengiwemathe7376]

😢😢😢😢😢...I'm crying for myself more than 30yrs leaving in hell...I'm crying for all narcissists because they were once good kids but traumatized n became Narcissists! Oh God why😢😢😢😢

[@babalon23]

I just woke up 2 weeks ago during an attack. The hollow statements triggered the lights and it is a complex nightmare the way the furniture of my mind is arranged. Covert Narcissist Weaponized pity was the hook. And now it must end.

[@CherFREEMarauder]

Been there. Stay there long enough you'll lose yourself 👍🏽

[@sandyghazalansari2617]

Since Lacan says The Unconscious is structured like a language, I can see how the narcissist uses language to steal the Other’s unconscious.

[@lukasm4878]

Can you break it down please? Very interesting what you wrote. Regards

[@samvaknin]

Yes, this is the thesis of this video. But I suggest that the narcissist uses DREAM LANGUAGE to accomplish that.

[@jemarie4832]

I have to give you MUCH LOVE for the outpouring of knowledge you share in relating to the Narcisse Virus. You diligently put in AMPLE amount of content that hasn't been taught as you do. Your videos helped me to recognize EVERY action of this monster, but unlike most people I left. Because of you I'm aware..thank you, for dedicating so much of your life to this matter, it's more epic than we'll ever understand, be blessed

[@MrsMPeazy]

Dr. Vaknin’s resemblance to Jacques Lacan is uncanny!

[@sonjamorris2359]

I was married to a crazy making vulnerable, intellectual narcissist….as I watched this I recalled that his favorite book is Solaris 😱😨😬☠️

[@moniquerodriguezfeogruber4932]

Oooh, so accurate. That is exactly what they do. It’s a mind rape.

[@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918]

mindfuck is the devil .

[@sunshinemittens23]

It’s like the movie IT…your deepest fears you must face…

[@nandanapalchowdhury4588]

Sameeeeeee...yup!

[@fatherdanmclaughlinosa3215]

I worked with a narcissist for four years and challenged her order of reality many times. Her salvation as a person- and relief for others in her life - was her devote Christian faith. She went to another assignment and it was there she was able to reflect on her mistakes and how they affected her former co-workers. She was genuinely sorry for how she behaved. Signs of healing was her return to our workplace for a visit with an attitude of humility and seeking forgiveness, and those same co-workers attending her funeral as a sign of their forgiveness.

[@irielion3748]

Wow! What a story

[@roxygo6884]

Fragmentation to wholeness, back to fragmentation.. It's 🎼🎵 The Hokey Pokey!!!🎶 "you put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.. 🎶you put your right hand in and you Shake it all about..🎵 You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, And that's what it's all about!!🎶 Repeat refrain until every part of you has been shaken and turned around.. That's really what it's all about, simply repetition until you tire of the musak!

[@roxygo6884]

@@raewynurwin4256 It's frightening to be so confused, they count on your disorientation to create their machinations that keep you off guard.. yet they know exactly how things will go and it goes their way.. they always know way ahead of time.. and then you either discover deceit or flagrant disregard of your personhood.. Utter devastation each and everytime, as though it was the very first time.. it's surreal and we live it without really taking part.. You can't make this stuff up..

[@Yurkidding]

I often made reference to Alice in Wonderland when referring to my narcissist and our relationship not with this in depth analysis but because nothing was ever as it seemed and the world needed to continously acclimate itself to the constantly changing ideals and impossible to please narcissist. Everything was constructed for me to fail and disappoint. But I don't think I ever fell in love with him, that's moot today because we had a child together.

[@Somero5115]

Thanks for making these. I’ve been a long time watcher but finally reached out for help last week. Now I will be attending treatment for PTSD. Thanks for helping make sense of what is going on in the mind, and offering a reflection of my own shortcomings

[@CaliCarpetbagger]

Is it common that a true narcissist often accuses others, particularly their past partners, as narcissists, and labels themselves as a victim of narcissism? Especially in this day and age when it such a popular topic.

[@redoak2461]

Not sure if I'd say it's common but sounds like a tactic they'd deploy

[@eliswebster8847]

As a widow I experienced 3 years of false litigious/emotional abuse staged by a clusterB predator. A malignant Narcissist male now 65. I was introduced to him on a Charity event musical sailing in July 2018 by his longtime friend and charity ex employer Sir Richard Stilgoe. A pro’ musician this pathological narc. is a 2005 Brighton (family court) domestic abuser. I’ve met his damaged ex partner the mother of three of his four adult children. In my case for 6 months he played mind games as a covert… gaslighting ‘caring older friend’ often borrowing money then he acted out as a victim of women inc. “2005 Feminist judges” (his own term) incoming ph. audio where he refers to his “.. past roster of gorgeous women” ph. audio. NB. which officers refused to hear! This paranoid/predator IS self aware, hence ultra devious too. I called him out quite gently on Nov 30th in 2018 as a Manipulator aka lying sociopath. His ever oscillating ego defence mechanism then ‘flipped our whole narrative’ and accused me! So begun his textbook smear campaign. Histrionic lies to a few joint friends and gullible boy police PCs who set up a file on myself as his stalker! He used the police attention/interest to coerce flying monkey fools his ex charity-staffer contacts, against me! All confirmation biased accounts in support of a Covert abuser: an idiotic police bed arrest 4am of me (terrifying) based solely on No evidence; erroneous police case! CPS allowed him to be absent in court three times (unsure why) he had demanded a screen but those trials never went ahead admin errors’ on the day! and ‘refused’ to attend court. a further 20 months torture on bail while young police tried to ‘build a hearsay case’ but further ..covid delayed! I was acquitted not guilty in Sept 2020 and had never stalked him plus I lived 60 miles away.. Still now, 2022 in residual PTSD, as a widow I still seek a pro bono lawyer to assist me .. expose Sussex & Hants (uk) officers, those who shut me down on my personal appeal to them, which inc. the negligent Sussex ‘lazy’ OPCC have circled the wagons! Others here are quite correct- you can barely believe this stuff’ although to live it for real while living quietly (and alone) without close relatives further destroys us; purely due to vindictive and poorly trained unaccountable misogynistic Police who know they can get away with this.

[@vera-annnicolson3536]

Sam - you look like a young Jacques Lacan!

[@RdecaRoza]

Thank you, Professor Vaknin. I would drown at this point of life without your lectures. At age 43 you’ve opened a new dimension to my lifestory and a genious insight. I ask myself if we borderlines ever stop bonding with narcissists?

[@juliesheard2122]

Everyone talks about narcissists. How would it look if you were married to a psychopath? Not a murdering one, but one that looks so benign that no-one notices anything but the charm. He feels nothing, he is disabled. He entertains himself with thrills. Crime, especially, getting away with it. Sex becomes pornography and she is a tool for him to achieve his physical gratification. No-one sees it because he only shows charm. Only she sees the dead glance. She knows she cannot leave.

[@jeanniebrault7768]

My ex referred to Alice in Wonderland quite frequently. He had the book. WOW!

[@ropaco6392]

I love all the Spanish literary references, and Alice trough the looking glass, just amazing and poetic.

[@alisalelia7959]

Perfect, and amazing. Thank you so much for your work, for the goodness of all feeling persons...

[@mistydawn8940]

Annihilation the movie is another perfect metaphor for the experience of narcissistic abuse...omg the end scene!!?? I was still w my narcissist when I saw this movie and it affected me so profoundly it has never left my mind. I have prayed that someone else would say they saw the same thing when they watched this movie!! Decode??

[@maryann8288]

My ex, if he was a narcissist, had the ability to draw the strength out of you. I would quite frequently be tired and would be grateful to get some sleep. A couple of times I awakened to find him sitting on the side of the bed beside me while I was sleeping with his face very close to mine, almost touching me and smiling. I did not know what to make of it.

[@jhavajoe3792]

Spooky.

[@SoundSista222]

The torus electro magnetic energy field around our body can make some of us us very sensitive to who is within it especially if they are negative psychological and spiritual state of being.

[@vincentwilliams8685]

Amazing likeness to the thumbnail! Another great vid too, thankyou Dr.Vaknin

[@cymatiste]

yes. thank you so much for this. this is exactly what I needed to hear.

[@cymatiste]

"there are not enough breadcrumbs to ever get you out"

[@cymatiste]

the narcissist's dream provides purpose and meaning

[@cymatiste]

just endless insight candy. incredible.

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

Oh my God. You quoted Carl Jung, from January 16… And that’s my birthday. This world IS a (nightmare) simulation.

[@runwiththewind3281]

Professor Vaknin, thank you.

[@DabneyFountain]

You are the foremost authority and 100 percent reliable.

[@sirishavenkatesh8415]

Sam vaknin 's best ever !

[@Riostunning]

Thank you so much for sharing this, it's inspiring to see a survivor like yo.

[@sw.7519]

If you are deep thinker and try to understand others and reflect do not think that everyone is so deep level. Try to remember your childhood. I can rember my thoughts and feeling being 5 years old. So I can understand how shallow I was and a narcissist is forever.

[@Anna-uy7dp]

Can I ask you, sincerely, how does beng able to remember your childhood thoughts & feeling being 5 make you shalow? I dearly want to understand the thinking behind your thought. With respect...

[@sw.7519]

@@Anna-uy7dp people are different. I can remember. Thoughts maybe starting by five or six. First emotions back to three years. Depending on the impression. I know some people even remember some incidents from being a Baby or a toddler. This is even more crazy. At least you should be able to remember your first years at school?

[@PaddyVieira4]

Question Sam...if the abuser becomes the mother figure of the victim, and the victim the mother of the abuser, is it reasonable to think that part of the initial attraction is their own Co-dependency? They see strength in each others struggle so assume the role of a parent for each other? However for the Narc its a short term strategy to hook their target. Once the target is trauma bonded they do the take away and withdraw their parental welfare for the victim. Its only the victim who is assuming the role of the mother figure, long term atleast? The Narcs tendency to be narcisistic is only concerned about supply for themselves.

[@redoak2461]

I think they try and deploy that "in the struggle together" tactic ... To hold you there or draw you back ... Sounds like you're on to something. Also, yes I think the fake struggling act goes away once they think they've got you locked down.

[@warilaetamaraye8712]

This is my experience! Then the narc laughs at the insignificant partner who did not understand the game. Watch him/her riggle, a riggle of death! The narc knows this experience leads to death. They've deceived the partner to the edge of a cliff. And left the partner to fall to their death!!!

[@donnaditredici8213]

Thank God was going to getbmsrried

[@suzannegabriel7657]

That thought occurred to me … I believe this is true.

[@sangeethamuthanna3053]

You couldnt have encapsulated any better Professor!

[@adamslowikowski3085]

Well done Professor Vaknin! Thank you for your superb insightful understanding of narcissism with the help of Lacan's linguistic approach! This is very important and helpful! Simply brilliant! 🙂🌻💛🙏

[@amitdrive]

its a different story when parents do it and still think they are self righteous piece of s##t

[@manmanman4825]

As you metioned Lem, he's one of my favourite authors and I can really recommend his "The Futurological Congress" as an addition to this great literature list.

[@lindaclark568]

Sometimes I get it, sometimes I lose it. I'm still in it, he's dead.

[@ceciliacoulombe-judkins2311]

It's all so sad, and then, some 😥

[@Comidaporvida]

I was born into a world of narcissist. She was made and remade he herself of multi layers of narcissistic personalities.. malignant, covert and more than i can na name, my 1st husband was a malignant 2nd covert.. before finding help through books i could read their names attached to the personalities written in the books. I continue to find more and more. My father lost his mind to Alzheimer's by living amongst all those characters. He too became self centerd in hopes of being seen

[@francisskyler1872]

Sounds like the narcissist trap is like; the oracle’s matrix wisdom language mirroring; a matrix spell bound narrative … Trix’s are for kids. (70’s Cereals commercial)

[@nathanielking8538]

Wow! Thank you so much. Helped me make sense of a lot.

[@anastasiapa5393]

Thank you so much.

[@blackfootcherokeeirishwhit2390]

The ugliest of Narcs act identical to the most beautiful Narcs. And they are definitely not cute enough to try acting that way. If you think a Narc cant be uglier they definitely are. Even if they are delusional and they are most definitely delusional.

[@hermeticinstrumentalist6804]

Thank you for the beautiful explanations good Sir. A good way to start the morning.

[@sandranikolvlckova6560]

Very interesting. I find myself to be similar to Alice in your description of the text. It seems that other people know what is left and right, up and down, while I feel mostly disoriented, changing opinions as I go to fit whoever I happen to come into contact with. I can hardly make my own judgements and I am slow to react and say things for certain. I come to believe that my father targeted me. I am highly certain he is a narcissist, though he’s not diagnosed. But why me? Is it normal for a narcissist to target, disorient, and mind control particularly one child? I have seven older siblings, and they don’t seem to be as disoriented as I. I am happy with my achievements, and where I am at in life, but feel empty and still trying to find myself at 25.

[@gracec3418]

Dear Sandra - I am not a psychologist, so please understand that I offer a comment only as a fellow traveller and friend. As I read your first paragraph, I felt so much sympathy for your sense of being disoriented ; that you feel you find yourself without firm opinions. On one side, I have to say, you are probably a real blessing to many of those you encounter, as a person whose opinions are not firmly entrenched, does often make a far better listener than someone with a firm opinion on everything. But that, is a benefit to others. And I do not get the sense that you feel it is beneficial to your idea of yourself, to find yourself without (strong) opinions. Sandra, as I read, it seemed to me, that at this point in your life, you have the luxury of choosing something that interests you, a hobby, a pastime, a particular subject that simply interests you, and by spending time developing that interest, extending the reach of your knowledge / experience in that interest, you will develop some perceptibly strong views - - albeit, I accept, perhaps on just that one area of expertise. But it will become 'your thing'. And soon, you will find it takes you to other interests, or you identify interests in unrelated fields, and soon then, you will not just have strong sentiments / views / sense of familiarity and knowledge in those particular fields, but you will have developed the sense of what it is to have certainty about what you think / feel - - even if only in those few areas. It seems to me, that what that would accomplish, is to build that sense of certainty, of confidence in your own views, your own experience. I do wonder whether you have the sense of a tabula rasa (written phonetically for now ; I will come back to edit once I have the correct spelling) - - whether that sense of your own opinions [and so perhaps, a destabilizing of your sense of your own intellectual strength / ability to assess and make value judgments] - I wonder whether this is not itself a very marked reaction / outcome to having been tramelled into a format that was acceptable to your father. There are some marvellous video blogs on YT, that address some of the more prosaic-level impacts of being raised or living alongside narcissists. The most accessible I have found, are Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani. Professor Vaknin's work and his videos, are intriguing and enormously helpful a bit later on the path ... it really helps to 'tame the beast' by beginning with Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani's videos, as their material offers so many 'Ah-ha moments', that orientate one : gives one the sudden realization that the repercussions of the narcissist encounter / experience, are not only very real, but that many are repercussions that are inevitably shared by the many, many people that have had to navigate a narcissist in their upbringing or in their youth. I do hope some of the above may be of help to you, Sandra. You are on the right track xxx

[@sandranikolvlckova6560]

@@gracec3418 thanks for your thoughtful reply to my comment. I will check out Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani. I do not believe Professor Vaknin’s videos are only helpful later on the path, as they have helped me and are helping me immensely. I prefer having access to material meant for “later down the path” at all times. This seems to me like a limitation that is often erroneosly set by parents and teachers and pertains to all subjects. I have always exceeded expectations when given rather the full explanation than just “helpful tasks for less advanced” because I need to understand the full picture to be able to do the more basic things. This is how I have always functioned.

[@gracec3418]

@@sandranikolvlckova6560 Hi Sandra 🌼 - Thank you for your message. I would say, "Exactly so" 🙂 - - I did realize after I posted, that I had not expressed clearly what I intended to say. I do think you are exactly correct, that Prof. Vaknin's videos are hugely helpful - - and if one is able to take in greater complexity (which I struggle with sometimes), then there is a wealth of nuance and detail available via Prof. Vaknin - which is enormously helpful. What I had intended with my message to you, was to point you in the direction of Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani for - in each case, a wealth of information that I found hugely helpful when I started examining my own history and experience with narcissists. What I should have made clear, and with your forbearance, what I will make clear now, are the reasons I suggested those two particular people as a resource. My experience of watching Dr. Carter's videos, is that one gets to have a 'virtual chat' with someone who closely resembles a favourite wise uncle - someone who can be objective, but a person who is wise, and more than anything, a person who is 'on your side'. Dr. Carter's videos leave me feeling that I have had a supportive conversation with someone who is measured, patient - but more than anything, someone who cannot be 'blind-sided' / deceived by dishonesty or manipulation. He is a wonderful, patient counsellor. A very splendid person to spend a little time listening to. He knows the experience, and is capable of analysing the effects the narcissist has upon one's life and one's experience, from a very sound, steady and reassuring place in life. Dr. Ramani is amazing at giving an overview / breakdown of the experience of being - for example - the daughter / husband / scapegoat / 'Golden Child' of the narcissist, and the particular patterns and experiences presented by those particular, individual scenarios. I do hope this clarifies what I originally hoped and intended - but utterly failed to communicate, Sandra. Not to 'file Prof. Vaknin for later', but rather to try to signal how much clarity Dr. Carter and Dr. Ramani are able to bring to the very confusing place that narcissists can either drag or lead us to. Best Wishes to you, Sandra. Love and Light xx

[@sehc100]

My favourite yet! Fantastic!

[@whatx11]

thank you proffesor Vaknin . To me this whole video talks a lot of relationships in general , we share the dream of our partner as we dream them also.Im out of a relationship with a bpd woman and this concept its more present almost all the time , it does have a dreamy and ethereal quality to it. Mostly it feels like every time a chaotic or violent situation generated from the bpd person is like coming back to a tangible reality , its the way for them to come down to earth , i also think sex has a lot to do with this.

[@xy-mp2nf]

u r genius thank u for sharingthis knowledge Sr Vaknin

[@Sheine-b5j]

What a twist, Professor Vaknin!

[@seekerofpeace1907]

First... lol now to listen

[@Wetryourbesteachday]

My nightmare is, I suppose, better for my wife than her own nightmare. That I feel confidently certain about. When my world becomes less of a nightmare, then I get a glimpse of her own and let me tell ya... My nightmare is far superior.

[@timsaunders8989]

Cheers Sam.

[@Lola-mt1ne]

Loved the Alice in wonderland reference.

[@Downloadeodeo]

That was a very luring cover photograph :)

[@sandravanty8291]

Brilliant thumbnail pic!

[@vekkstar]

Wow, Sam, it's true -- you are Lacan's twin. Uncanny.

[@marymoeller4742]

Very interesting!!!

[@stephaniesmart]

Professor Vankin, do you think the movie perfume is an accurate description of the narcissist?

[@faithcomesbyhearing2148]

so how do u reboot the entire system?

[@roxygo6884]

Get started, get out, get educated, get started again..it's the only way to reboot, it's work

[@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918]

@Sandy Cheeks as fast as possible , dont even mention anything to the narc . the narc will only make things more difficult to escape . I wish I had known this beforehand .

[@MKowloon]

Lacan was well known for fathering children with married actresses.

[@bethechange9762]

You are the gift that keeps on giving. Would you consider doing a video on the medical history of vaccines? How did they come about etc? Who began the idea?

[@cartune96]

How? Cuz most narcs a beautiful.

[@MusicMagicProductions]

Can you please make a video on what to do when you can't go no contact with the narcissist? 🙏 im living in strict contact with a narcissist (in his house/bed 😭) and he's driving me crazy...I can't leave for another month or so for financial reasons. How do I not go insane? Help please thank you P.S. Note: I REALLY can't go no contact, I'm not fooling myself. All I have is 60€ in my pocket, I have found a job but I'm not going to be paid at least for anither month (and I'm being optimistic) help please 🙏

[@roxygo6884]

A month more? Play his game.. don't take anything said seriously but make sure you leave without warning! Pretend like its all just the same but pack up personal belongings and papers, hide them with friends.. say nothing, leave quietly, talk to no one about it until your safe.. mutual friends are dangerous, trust only those who you know will keep your confidence.. stay safe

[@kaylaschroeder1]

This is the true test. How else can you be resourceful for yourself, to save yourself? How else can you make more money, other than the job? Can you housesit? Can you walk dogs? Random stuff like that. And then pray, drink water, breathe, get through the days until you are able to leave. We seem to get ourselves into these traps. I am in a trap of my own, as well. It's different than yours, but it still feels like a trap. The deciding point is now, though. We must take action. I know you can do it. You're stronger than you know. You're more capable than you know. Think of a time when you felt stronger, and usher that part of you back into the forefront of your mind, use it, and then release what is wanting to escape you after you have found your true safe place... away from him. I truly wish you the best.

[@MusicMagicProductions]

@@kaylaschroeder1 I am already doing that....I am working full-time I just have to wait around a month to get my salary, there a nothing else I need to do excerpt to wait for another month. I'm asking how I can survive this month

[@kaylaschroeder1]

​@@MusicMagicProductions What do you mean by "survive?" Do you mean more psychologically, emotionally and spiritually survive? Is he aware that you're leaving? And is he aware of how incredibly uncomfortable you are around him? I ask because if you and he are already in agreement that you aren't comfortable with him and you're leaving, I would recommend sleeping on the couch, whether he likes it or not - keeping physical distance from him as much as you can is mandatory. As much distance, in general. Less words exchanged. Less looks. Less everything. More Grey Rock Method. If, however, he is unaware of your desire to leave, then you may have to put on your best acting skills and pretend for the sake of your life and your sanity. I'm not great at it, personally. I'm better at the Grey Rock than anything. It depends on how you feel about it, what's your integrity telling you? What feels safest of all the possibilities? I slept on the couch once to escape the bedroom. It was scary. He questioned me and sort of mocked me for it, but it was worth it. I did that for the two weeks before he left. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad, and it took all the courage I had at the time. But I was rewarded because I asked him to leave in a note I typed out, and he complied, no questions asked. I think I scared him because I'd never been that forward with him before. But he was gone, and the apartment was mine until I ended the lease.

[@MusicMagicProductions]

@@kaylaschroeder1 yes of course he knows, but narcissists don't really change because you tell them you're leaving, he either abuses you more or does a temporary "fake redemption". I don't have any more time for this bs. The way out of this is not by trying to make him reason believe me

[@tanjathomsson4592]

It would be interesting to hear how different ways people perceive narcissistic behavior. I believe narcissist are not omnipotent, not everyone get intangled losing their own reality. Or is it so?

[@twinpeetzmoolsaasa854]

Are you sure you are not Lacan's brother? :) Thanx again for the video

[@SayedSalimSadatmawdodi]

I am getting traumatized after listening to... thinking if liquid drops drain on fire it starts to burn if it does contain flammable substances otherwise it won't burn and it may also shutdown destructive fire.

[@cyanide_and_]

Again, the process is like my deconstruction/deconversion from religion - more specifically it's the Christianity I'd been sold.

[@royacyrus969]

Professor Vaknin thank you for the explanations and especially citing the many authors and pertaining writings. How do you explain the psychological interpretations of Homer, Lewis Carroll etc. to their awareness or lack thereof while writing? Did these authors write with the intent of creating the psychological themes/moods etc.? Thank you.

[@mayparsels2232]

He would like the resemblance as you are nice looking

[@ceciliacoulombe-judkins2311]

and oh how sad, to hear such details of which I can painfully resonate with, yet, so many are so willing to not questions the narcissist, thus sadly, leaving the victim isolated even more, and those who have something to gain by being faithful it the narcissist bankful (invested in, these narcs loyal subjects, sadly, ill brained individual's, seduced with or given free vacations offered, bribed, delusional, free from their insecurities, finally pulled up as to believe along with their flying (again agenda driven....free condo on the white sands beach of Florida...yep...vomit...err yuck gross, free beach vacation flying monkeys....eeek.....yuck....gross!!! that supporting Narcissistic abuse, ignoring truth, and so get to ugh, gross, ick enjoy, indulge, in their entitled messed up thinking...not giving a care for one second as to what their support of the Narcs abuse has actually caused and the length and depth of what this asshole has caused harm to) these slave driven mutes of truths, are driven to, for a few days of braggart ego-gasms of we out of the 365 days out of the calendar year, sell their souls to the Narcissist, all for hopes that in trade they might get to post picks with lobster birthday dinners spread amongst those who could only dream of such generosity whilst the abuse, torture, neglect and abandonment goes on for REAL and all the while the Narc runs free from blame as to the destruction he has strategically planned, placed and plotted in his best interest for his ultimate discard and oh how sad, to hear such details of which I can painfully resonate with, yet, so many are so willing to not questions the narcissist, thus sadly, leaving the victim isolated even more, and those who have something to gain by being faithful it the narcissist bankful (invested in, these narcs loyal subjects, sadly, ill brained individual's, seduced with or given free vacations offered, bribed, delusional, free from their insecurities, finally pulled up as to believe along with their flying (again agenda driven....free condo on the white sands beach of Florida...yep...vomit...err yuck gross, free beach vacation flying monkeys....eeek.....yuck....gross!!! that supporting Narcissistic abuse, ignoring truth, and so get to ugh, gross, ick enjoy, indulge, in their entitled messed up thinking...not giving a care for one second as to what their support of the Narcs abuse has actually caused and the length and depth of what this asshole has caused harm to) these slave driven mutes of truths, are driven to, for a few days of braggart ego gasms of we out of the 365 days out of the calendar year, sell their souls to the Narcissist, all for hopes that in trade they might get to post picks with lobster birthday dinners spread amongst those who could only dream of such generosity whilst the abuse, torture, neglect and abandonment goes on for REAL and all the while the Narc runs free from blame as to the destruction he has strategically planned, placed and plotted in his best interest for his ultimate discard

[@jacksonpeterson4874]

With technology and ignorance...

[@s_b123]

Sam, you're Jacques Lacan's clone!!!! Wth!

[@naddy96]

Is this in the bargaining phase or shared fantasy?

[@sirishavenkatesh8415]

This sounds like someone the pole opposite of God . Yet God !