HOW NARCISSISTS ARGUE: WHAT A NARCISSIST SOUNDS LIKE IN AN ARGUMENT

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Looking Behind the Mirror

Looking Behind the Mirror

Күн бұрын

#narcissists If you've wondered exactly how it sounds to argue with a narcissist, this video contains a scripted re-enactment of exactly how they spin you in endless circles with pointless, confusing arguments. Because narcissists are so dominant and controlling, they have a knack for steering relationships into conflict. Narcissists are known for their irrational behavior, including their unwillingness (or inability) to have discussions and resolve arguments in a healthy way. I list four things that all narcissistic arguments have in common, explain why these arguments happen and then provide an example of how to better respond a narcissist's provocations with healthy boundaries.
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Пікірлер: 190
@athenasword1
@athenasword1 3 жыл бұрын
…….”what you think I may need”? “ answer: your Bloody head examined “
@masquarra
@masquarra 3 жыл бұрын
That circular argument goes on till 3am
@lyndacrossley9548
@lyndacrossley9548 24 күн бұрын
Yes, I actually said this recently, 'This is a circular argument'. The reply, 'What do you mean?' I said, 'This argument is going nowhere'.
@sharonthompson672
@sharonthompson672 20 күн бұрын
Ugh. I had two former coworkers who BOTH would do this. So. exhausting.
@darknightfawkes1028
@darknightfawkes1028 Жыл бұрын
“You never listen” is the most absurd excuse they use to be abusive to you, because in their mind they believe you have to be bossy and loud and shouty to be heard… and it doesn’t even make sense because you are always listening to them… listening to their constant moaning or talking about themselves or gossip
@dianereynolds9835
@dianereynolds9835 Жыл бұрын
Spot on!!! And that's what I sounded like after a year with him. Afraid to say anything. Tongue tied. It was horrible. Such anxiety every single day.
@jacquelinebell6467
@jacquelinebell6467 3 жыл бұрын
You are so spot on! The senseless arguments were exhausting. My ex would continually twist my words around, deflect and then change to subject of the argument to something else. It was absolutely maddening. 🤯
@shai-shai934
@shai-shai934 Жыл бұрын
It’s so sickening. My ex narc would do this then laugh at the anxiety that she gave me after sick!!!
@KmN3838
@KmN3838 3 жыл бұрын
I have spent days asking him to please tell me what I did wrong and he just keeps saying if you listened to me you would know. So I say I'm sorry I didn't hear you can you tell me again right now so I can fix it. He says figure it out and basically treats me like crap nonstop for days at a time.. I don't even know what I did wrong because he just won't tell me 🤯. Eventually I snap and go off on him. Then he just stands there smiling at me like it's funny. I'm like how can you laugh when your doing this to me it's crazy it really is. My Mom died in August of Covid and my little sister was hit by a semi and can't even cry about it or he says I'm playing the victim. When I actually reread what I'm writing it sounds terrible I can't believe I let this happen. I'm very sad letting go of someone that never existed. I really love that person and wish he would come back. But he won't I just wasted 10 years of my life.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry you are going through this on top of what has happened to your sister and your mom. I can’t imagine. I can say that your relationship sounds a lot like a relationship I went through. I think when you get through this and are out the other side, you’ll see that nothing we go through in life is a waste. But I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this right now.
@theforeigner6988
@theforeigner6988 10 ай бұрын
2:04 I always felt it she was shooting with cannonballs at Sperlings , as we say here in Germany 🇩🇪. Firing all you can, as if there is no tomorrow (in every argument).
@adonaiel-rohi2460
@adonaiel-rohi2460 11 күн бұрын
People who prefer you to read their MINDS instead of communicating Directly are ALWAYS TOXIC
@darknightfawkes1028
@darknightfawkes1028 Жыл бұрын
This is spot on for me, but instead of being submissive I stick up for myself and act rebellious and call out the BS. No matter what you do it always seems to make the situation worse, because subconsciously they want it to get worse so they can unload lots of dark energy onto you.
@hollyhall416
@hollyhall416 3 жыл бұрын
I was one stupid argument away from a "Am I really the narcissist in my relationship" and your gem of a video popped up. I was blindsided this morning with a ww3 level argument because.... I said I was going to go to the gas station last night and I went this morning instead. ❤ your video!
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching! I’m so glad it was helpful. These arguments really can shake our grasp on reality.
@monocle2848
@monocle2848 Ай бұрын
Yesterday, he broke through our front door & tried making me scared to do anything about it. This is the End of our marriage. Even though he's trying to, "make it better". Idk how I'm going to get away. I'm a SAHM for 10 yrs. No family. CHOOSE YOUR SPOUSE WISELY. TRUST THE GUT. IF IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT- ITS OKAY. JUST LET GO. Please don't let these people attack your beautiful self. They don't have the right. Love yourself. That's something they'll never have.
@nicktracy8999
@nicktracy8999 3 жыл бұрын
Was in love with a guy for about 5 yrs. Finally got a chance to date him... 2 months in, not even... out came the Narcissist... Dear God... he was NOTHING like I had thought he was for all those yrs. He made me feel smaller than I had ever felt. I was a play thing, an accessory. I was not allowed to speak my mind, give opinions, basically anything I said about anything was an issue. Anything I wanted to do or made a goal oput of was questioned and I was told how I was going to fail. He wanted to control EVERYTHING about me... This week, it has been 4 days of fighting because I will not engage in the arguing and he keeps pushing buttons. It is finally over. I miss him, it was yrs of knowing him "supposedly I guess now" and yrs of loving this person.. but it all came to the point where I had to pick myself over him no matter how he reacts and takes it. BTW, suicidal threats were also made.. a whole mess of crap. But I am out. And soon as he saw I was out out, all was flipped. I was the narcissist, I was a horrible person, I was all that was shitty about the relationship... dear God... I blocked him, from everything. Still working my way into stepping away from his friends and certain family members that are still on my social media.... but, I am out. I made it... you can too!! (whomever is reading me)
@frostyperma4789
@frostyperma4789 Ай бұрын
@@nicktracy8999 stay strong 💪
@SirenaSpades
@SirenaSpades 25 күн бұрын
They usually go about 4 weeks before the bad stuff starts leaking out (the narcissism). As in lovebombing (if overt) or the fairly nice stuff (covert) 4 weeks and then the toxic stuff starts and the narcissism becomes apparent. You may not know what to watch for, though.. for a while until it gets really bad.
@truthmerchant1
@truthmerchant1 4 жыл бұрын
I got blamed for not knowing he was upset about something he never told me had happened.. Apparently I should have read his mind.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds familiar. You wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t experience it for yourself.
@sharonthompson672
@sharonthompson672 20 күн бұрын
Yep. I finally just ask point blank: "Do I have 'mind reader' written across my forehead???" 🤷 The passive aggressive, pouty baby, silent treatment bull crap.... Ugh!
@missj2045
@missj2045 3 жыл бұрын
Wonderful re-enactment. My body is going into stress-response mode because of how familiar and frustrating this sounds. Very accurate! I'm sorry you've experienced this.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry you have experienced it as well! But I’m glad we can validate each other’s experience. This is so draining and confusing.
@missj2045
@missj2045 3 жыл бұрын
@@LookingBehindtheMirror I agree with you. The only way to limit the circular arguments with a narcissist is to build really strong boundaries. I'm separated and still co-parenting. I still get drawn into circular arguments, but the less contact I have with my ex, the less opportunities there are for these arguments. It's sad because there's no way to be "amicable" with them.. ever.
@juliettecrossley4864
@juliettecrossley4864 25 күн бұрын
Me too
@maddy-jp5lh
@maddy-jp5lh 3 жыл бұрын
The accuracy! They make everything about them, deflect and patronise you in arguments. They drain the hell out of you my God. Took me 3 months to regain my sanity. Now i’m happy, free and loving life!
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!!
@maddy-jp5lh
@maddy-jp5lh 3 жыл бұрын
@@LookingBehindtheMirror Thank you xx
@ShivaSolentei
@ShivaSolentei 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, that was really triggering. This is how I was raised by covert narc parents. I can't stand these kinds of mind games and interrogations.
@jmfs3497
@jmfs3497 3 жыл бұрын
Humans are the worst, lol. My narcissistic situation is work related, and then probably one or two in my childhood. My step-mom told me the only way she could get me to talk was if she made me cry. Meanwhile, I was constantly walking on eggshells trying not to upset whatever her hair-trigger/brooding pattern was. My work situation is much different, but still very confusing. If I do my BEST work, I seem to be a threat to my manager. He oversteps boundaries, too, and seems to be looking for any reason to critique me. I was a part-time student under two previous managers, and then this narc was promoted, he approved the classes as normally would have happened, and I kept him updated in meetings as the semester approached, and he called right at 8:30am, in the middle of my first class that semester, and demanded to know where I was. Thought I cleared it up after class, and that we were good to go on the schedule... he called the very next day at the same exact time demanding to know where I was. Psyyychooooo. I ended up dropping out of school under stress, which I regret. A few years later I mentioned returning to my degree path, and without missing a beat he said "You Don't Need a Degree." which is an insane response, because help with finishing degrees is one of the popular benefits this employer is proud to provide. No one has ever heard of a case here of being obstructed from seeking bachelor's, Master's, or even Ph.D.
@natsdaley9615
@natsdaley9615 3 жыл бұрын
Literally 10 years of my life now I am almost 3 years out and still learning x
@candipayne2003
@candipayne2003 4 жыл бұрын
Omg this is exactly how my bf and I fight. I just can’t anymore.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you. “Frustrating” doesn’t even begin to describe it.
@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver
@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver 26 күн бұрын
I hope you're healing by now, away from that creep.
@MarkJSage
@MarkJSage 2 ай бұрын
I lost interest in the arguing... but I can make even the most argumentative narcissist wish they never started an argument in the first place. I didn't ever back down. I stood my ground.
@cac1463
@cac1463 8 күн бұрын
This actually hurt my stomach and gave me some anxiety because this is what I go through all the time. It's spot on. I've learned to leave the room and not engage bc thats what they want, and it literally has made me ill with fibromyalgia, autoimmune diseases, and more.
@Mya_9393
@Mya_9393 3 жыл бұрын
I had the exact issue with coming home and reading a book. But I said I just wanted to read the last couple of chapters. This turned into one of our 3 day fights because if I'm reading my book and not literally watching the TV with him then "where is he going to get his love from? WHO SAYS THAT!?!?
@darknightfawkes1028
@darknightfawkes1028 Жыл бұрын
Wow this is like an exact representation of what I go through most days of the week. Literally just happened. For narcissistic individuals chores are an easy leverage point for them to get mad at you because they can make a billion false excuses why they can be mean and harsh to you. I have autism and I either have really good long term memory but really shit short term memory so I often forget to do things. But I’ll always do them on my own accord and in my own way ( which often is like doing all the chores at once in a big session ), but my mother always insists I do things instantly, even if I’m going to bed or about to eat, or if I feel Ill, but she doesn’t care she wants it done NOW and for no apparent logical reason.
@sharonthompson672
@sharonthompson672 20 күн бұрын
My twin was like this when we shared an apartment. Stifling. Soul destroying.
@iamkxtv
@iamkxtv 2 жыл бұрын
Wholy S*** that’s accurate!! Wow.. all it took was the first two lines to relate. Amazing!!
@heatherlovesgod
@heatherlovesgod Ай бұрын
Best response to shut them down when they do this, That sounds like a personal problem for your therapist. Period end of sentence and continue reading your book.
@sharonthompson672
@sharonthompson672 20 күн бұрын
You won't be able to read it in the same room. They'll double down and just start talking at you so you can't concentrate on the book.
@frostyperma4789
@frostyperma4789 Ай бұрын
He would enjoy me being upset at upsetting him so much by something i said ....in complete innocence and not at all loaded with the meaning he wished to interpret . Got rid 3 months ago,finally and have blocked . Happened to get a new year best wishes message from him on an email address i dont use . Have deleted the account . Everything here resonates .
@realbeauty4101
@realbeauty4101 4 жыл бұрын
Omg the craziness is freaking unreal Like this one is mad all the time I cant even understand where the anger comes from
@anniephilip2417
@anniephilip2417 4 жыл бұрын
My life for the last 30 yrs and still going on.Been through many health scares on my body during this time.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry you are having to deal with that. I hope you can find a way out. ❤️
@ComedianWillRodriguez
@ComedianWillRodriguez 3 жыл бұрын
ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH MY NOW EX NARC: Me: You were trying to meet with “Liam” while you were telling me I was the only one! NARCISSIST: That’s before I knew that all “Liam” wanted was money. Me: WTF?!?!? No Insight, no guilt, no responsibility, no apology and...WTF?!?!?
@glizzard1894
@glizzard1894 2 жыл бұрын
This a million times. The only thing I would add is that the narc will also work in a way to remind you of all your past mistakes to boot. Word salad if you make a logical and respectful point.
@johnheart6890
@johnheart6890 Ай бұрын
Excellent video. Very Accurate. People won’t believe it, but it really goes down just like that…….time and time again. Year after year. Then you realize that the only person you have control of you of is you. So, you do not engage- from that moment on NO MORE CONVERSATIONS. As you point out, here is the big secret: they don’t even really care about what you both are arguing about, as long as they can keep arguing. What they do care about- getting fuel by arguing. They want and need to argue . They live off your reactions. To them negativity is even better than positivity.
@TestimonyOfYeshua
@TestimonyOfYeshua Ай бұрын
Right on... I just gave the Nex a week worth of dopamine supply after 2 months no contact. It set me back at least a month. He is in heaven while I'm depleted and nauseated. Thank God Almighty I don't live with him. I would have been dead by now. I slipped, and I need a large dose of radical self-love and self acceptance
@crystalsullivan5158
@crystalsullivan5158 3 жыл бұрын
Once I learned what to do, I shut his ass down and never looked back. The best revenge is to leave them completely alone and block them and never let them back in.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Right!
@RevengeOfTheEmpath
@RevengeOfTheEmpath 3 жыл бұрын
Omg spot on. Yes they totally throw it all on to you. They don’t directly come at you, they play this ridiculous game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, and I’ve been passive aggressive at times if I’m really really peeved about something HUGE that happened, but not to this degree. With narcs I’ve found it’s a daily thing. And it at times seriously won’t pertain to anything, they can start an argument out of nothing at all and leave you feeling like you just committed a grave sin.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, that’s the thing. They make you feel like you’re purposefully committing a crime for every little thing that annoys them. Makes you wonder what would have happened if we had ever actually tried to do something terrible to them.
@rodneydenlinger8890
@rodneydenlinger8890 Ай бұрын
I got so tired of talking in circles with nothing ever being resolved! In the second skit, the best thing to do after the sigh is to keep reading your book with no reaction. That was the purpose of the sigh, to draw you back into the endless argument.
@cruiseny26
@cruiseny26 3 жыл бұрын
The most circular nonsensical confusing arguments ever.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Amen. Also pointless.
@RevengeOfTheEmpath
@RevengeOfTheEmpath 3 жыл бұрын
Oh and when you said “cut!” Seriously I wish I would’ve said this during the majority of those arguments I’ve been in with a narc. Why can’t we just yell “cut!” And walk away? 😂 😂 😂 Joking aside, this abuse is heinous and you did a really good job explaining it and validating victims of this abuse. And nobody seems to understand it or believes it happens.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@PoodleParti
@PoodleParti Ай бұрын
This is so helpful for me to not think I was causing this whole thing. Thank you!
@theforeigner6988
@theforeigner6988 10 ай бұрын
1:38 💯%. It makes them feel they're always wrong, so they can't ever admit having done something wrong ever, even just once.
@vickiorlando4912
@vickiorlando4912 Жыл бұрын
Good job that was the shit
@kayh156
@kayh156 2 жыл бұрын
Dont forget the growl/sigh along with a head shake at your overall stupidity when you have basically won and called them out.
@chrisg7996
@chrisg7996 Жыл бұрын
The latest from my stbx narc is that she's trying to say that she's just a "highly sensitive person" and I'm an "emotionally unavailable man." NOT. Just more projecting, gaslighting, blame shifting, etc. Divorce, 13 days.
@leshiaweekes-hart1066
@leshiaweekes-hart1066 3 жыл бұрын
Your so right,he's right about everything, they see nothing wrong they do.
@Katie-ee7yq
@Katie-ee7yq Жыл бұрын
Yup. 100%. Every conversation went this direction. Absolutely exhausting and it never ends. 14 years of this nonsense. Ugh 😩
@Red-hot-sonic-fan
@Red-hot-sonic-fan Жыл бұрын
😢 so sad how accurate this is
@kristinmeyer489
@kristinmeyer489 4 жыл бұрын
Some narcissists are so selfish they manufacture excuses to keep their punching bags prisoner.
@Stuffyluffy
@Stuffyluffy Ай бұрын
Dealing with a father like this growing up is devastating. thankfully my mom divorced him early on.
@womanclothedinthesunq7574
@womanclothedinthesunq7574 3 жыл бұрын
I so needed that triggered all day and that made my day.
@Orgnl1
@Orgnl1 3 жыл бұрын
Wow... unbelievable...it's just so exact ...it somewhat triggers me ...lol 8 / ... For 3 hours ..!
@joellereynolds2176
@joellereynolds2176 26 күн бұрын
my narcissist would confuse me so much i couldnt argue in the end or even share my opinion on most things. i would think i was making a point and they would just say this argument is going around in circles whenever they wanted to deflect from whatever i was saying. I left arguments feeling like what just happened. One time they started an argument about a fan that i was using. They wanted me to be appreciative of the fact they gave me the good fan but i didnt even know they gave me the good fan. I thought maybe they liked the other fan because it was stronger. Its funny though because this fan was found outside my apartment block before i lived with them and we found it together. At the time and even now it seems kind of reasonable to want to be appreciated for something but it just felt manipulative that they 'gave' me something i didnt know they had given me and then bring it up later to start an argument. To be honest they did this a lot when i would try to be fair and share things but they acted like anything they did was a sacrifice and i didnt even know what would be the next sacrifice. sigh
@davidmunson3313
@davidmunson3313 4 жыл бұрын
Omg! This is EXACTLY how my father and I fought when I lost the little brush to my shaving kit one day. He just BLEW it ALL out of proportion.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
It’s amazing how similar the pattern is.
@chickenbiscuit4525
@chickenbiscuit4525 3 жыл бұрын
To be honest, seems like me trying to stick it to the narcissist once and a while. They'll never fight fair.
@chewiegames82
@chewiegames82 3 жыл бұрын
I ended up in a fight like this with my girlfriend after i cleaned a couple mirrors that were still streaky. I realised that they weren’t 100% clean and planned to go back and do them properly once I’d done what I was doing. She just kept yelling at me that I was “Useless, Lazy, and I NEVER do anything Properly”. I tried explaining that I knew they were still streaky and I was going to go back and do them again. This conversation continued for over an hour. When I went and cleaned them again. Once I’d finished she says “Why did you clean them again. I’d already done it because you are “Lazy and Useless so I did them because you would have cleaned them wrong again”. She never once said she’d done them the whole time we were arguing. 😳😳😳
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Sounds familiar. It’s unbelievable unless you experience it yourself.
@DrPhilGoode
@DrPhilGoode 2 жыл бұрын
Ok….so how am I just now finding you. You are on another level and your content is uncanny, possibly even creepy. Like you must be in my house to know this level of detail. A lot of narc content out there is good, but not near on this level. Thank you.
@isisduncan4484
@isisduncan4484 2 жыл бұрын
I saw 1. and 2. and my heart stopped a little. Then I saw three and got some relief. Not a narcissist, just emotionally immature right now
@sarahnewton3567
@sarahnewton3567 3 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️pearls of wisdom and insight in every video of yours. I’ve read and watched tonnes and tonnes on the subjects of narcissists and subjects surrounding them and so can tell you , you are right up there with the best sources of information.
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
That is so nice of you to say! Thank you so much!
@F00tsie
@F00tsie 29 күн бұрын
This is my mom to my dad, only he gets home and sits down after working all day and she's been doing nothing all day, every day. "What are you going to do, just sit there all night? Lazy."
@shade1427
@shade1427 6 ай бұрын
This hurts me to listen to this cause this is astonishingly how conversations have gone with her. It's one of the worst feelings I have felt to be on the receiving end and to use normal conversation skills and have her get successively more angry at me. What causes them to be like this and not want to acknowledge their behavior and to just always be this way?!
@luckyandblessed
@luckyandblessed 3 жыл бұрын
Never allow a person to control you, and to drag you into arguments.
@amberenergyhealertarot6617
@amberenergyhealertarot6617 7 ай бұрын
My suggestions for how to respond to create a peaceful and more respectful environment while still being in control. 4:41 What's up? Is there something I can help you with? 4:46 what could I help with? 4:58 yes 5:08 okay 5:28 oh, hun, I forgot. I should write myself reminders in the future so you can count on me to keep my word. I can do it right now. 5:38 you are so amazing! After working all day you still make sure to take care of the repairs around the house. Can I repay you in anyway? Thank you for doing that. I love you. 5:45 absolutely not, I will start to keep my brain more organized. The only thing you are at fault for is being an amazingly reliable and helpful partner. Thank you. 5:56 I understand. It's not your burden. You doing repairs and things around the house means a lot to me and the least I could do is help you to have an easier time to do them. A partner is supposed to be your partner, and I let you down on my side of the task. I don't ever want to make you feel neglected or forgotten about or overworked. 6:11 forgetfulness is definitely a flaw I need to work on. I very much respect your mind is able to be. 6:28 Of course not, I'm going to actually write it down and look for ways that I can improve my memory myself because it is a flaw that I don't need to burden anybody else with and it would in fact make my life easier as well as making your life more peaceful 7:51 I understand how it could appear that way when you were counting on me to do my share of the task and I didn't put it as a priority causing you to work harder. I truly do respect you and appreciate all you do for our home. I will do better to show it.
@gregoryhummer3666
@gregoryhummer3666 4 жыл бұрын
A question with a question.you are so right.
@DianaKHango-dk7wm
@DianaKHango-dk7wm Ай бұрын
Yep. You nailed it. I went through this on a daily basis. It got more and more ridiculous so I went gray rock to keep my sanity. Then he got a new girlfriend and asked for a divorce. I just said ok.
@KmN3838
@KmN3838 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!! So glad I got to hear this.
@adrianadicicco498
@adrianadicicco498 4 жыл бұрын
This video was helpful and confirmed what I was thinking and feeling. Thank you!
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad! I felt a little goofy acting it out, but I felt like it was the best way to illustrate my point. I’m happy it was helpful!
@amothergoddess2774
@amothergoddess2774 Жыл бұрын
I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL, THAT WAS GREAT, REMINDS ME OF THE SCREAMING AND CARRY ON I RECEIVED WHEN I TOLD HER I BOUGHT A WATCH $400, MY MONEY, WHICH I HAD TO TAKE BACK BECAUSE IT STOPPED, I DIDN'T BUY IT FROM BIG REPUTABLE STORE, I WAS APOLOGISING, TRYING TO EXPLAIN I WASN'T THINKING, SHE WAS SCREAMING AT ME ON AND ON TIL I FINALLY SAID CALM DOWN, SHE DIDN'T LIKE THAT; IN HINDSIGHT I THOUGHT IT WASN'T HER MONEY IT WAS MINE, WAS SO INAPPROPRIATE, YES LOTS OF TELLING OFF FOR THINGS THAT ARE NONE OF HER BUSINESS, WE ARE SISTERS, OLDER GIRLS, I'VE CUT HER OFF!
@davidmurphy4062
@davidmurphy4062 2 жыл бұрын
Just wow. Understanding my wife so much more
@davidmurphy4062
@davidmurphy4062 2 жыл бұрын
I’m actually shaking now
@chrisg7996
@chrisg7996 Жыл бұрын
For not being a professional your videos are very accurate.
@bluaurora8635
@bluaurora8635 3 жыл бұрын
This reminds me of my sister and I. She took me on a road trip with her when I was in my teens, but was very aggravated with me (for no good reason) the entire trip. I felt like she was looking for things to get annoyed and pissed off at, I was walking on eggshells and just being quiet. At one point, I was reading in the car, and she said in the nastiest tone, “OMg, I can’t believe you are reading in the car during this scenery”. We had been driving for several hours through the same desert. She just thinks I am a spoiled brat or something. Idk.
@sharonthompson672
@sharonthompson672 20 күн бұрын
You were her captive audience and you weren't giving her your undivided attention and blind worship. 👍
@jamessutton9874
@jamessutton9874 Жыл бұрын
You did a great job, that is how they twist things.
@ASMROceanVibes
@ASMROceanVibes Жыл бұрын
This video is spot on. Im in shock
@theforeigner6988
@theforeigner6988 10 ай бұрын
2:27 and yet we try, we try so hard , every time a new 🙄
@LydellAaron
@LydellAaron Ай бұрын
5:41 another variation is, "I shouldn't have to remind you..."
@AAA34FL448
@AAA34FL448 Жыл бұрын
I'm so glad I found your channel, it's so good to hear what I'm going through is not something I'm going through alone. Many good people have fallen for the same thing. Thank you for all your info!!
@athenasword1
@athenasword1 3 жыл бұрын
Looks as if these people would put you in a MENTAL HOME . Best advice? RUN
@subashinihaturusinghe4759
@subashinihaturusinghe4759 2 жыл бұрын
You are absolutely correct.This is so real.
@Truthteller1s
@Truthteller1s Жыл бұрын
PERFECT!!! I can't tell you how many thousands of times this happened in the years I spent with her. ❤
@sophiasdreamquinnblue8977
@sophiasdreamquinnblue8977 24 күн бұрын
Spot on!
@sarahdrawz
@sarahdrawz 3 жыл бұрын
This is SO ACCURATE
@daledavis5062
@daledavis5062 Ай бұрын
This is so accurate!
@victoriavitoroulis3273
@victoriavitoroulis3273 6 ай бұрын
They get jealous of anything that holds your attention a threat .
@linda__4587
@linda__4587 Ай бұрын
Yes, I can relate to this.
@TRich-219
@TRich-219 4 жыл бұрын
OMG. You are so good with this. I'm going on 30 years of this type of arguments...Finally Its not me! Thank you..
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
It’s definitely NOT you. And it’s not just you either. You are welcome. :)
@shade1427
@shade1427 6 ай бұрын
Mine said today after a subtle comment after a simple joke, said its just a joke. I told them I know it was and I get the context but I didnt like it. And they groan, and said all emotionally, "I'm tired of always being the bad guy!" Even I've stated that hey I know in the past I've made jokes that didn't make her feel good and I'm sorry and realize that. She redirected my initial point to somehow make me look bad and dodge saying "sorry", which she has before but not often. I'm left bewildered and then her expression is furrowed brow and she hold this angry quiet face as if I'm wrong, but am I?
@DahliaBrynn
@DahliaBrynn 25 күн бұрын
This is so much nicer than how my ex was...
@heavyjoechipman3594
@heavyjoechipman3594 4 жыл бұрын
This has been most of my life around my narcissistic mother and brother. I'm still around them but I feel not much longer. As I have figured out their tactics and games. So happy to find your channel. You're awesome! God bless you and yours.☺🙏💜👍
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I’m glad it’s somewhat helpful. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. It is not fun, but it’s a little easier when you realize that it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong.
@lindsaypreston8272
@lindsaypreston8272 3 жыл бұрын
I changed my insta bio because I wanted and he blew up and said someone told me to ... and it was a EXTREME crime when I texted my best friend in the bathroom which was “doing shit behind his back”
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Yep... sounds familiar.
@moryrie
@moryrie 25 күн бұрын
had this argument. I'd just go mute and dissociate in the end. and then. he'd. peel my eyes open. and force me back. walking out of the room kinda could end things too, but like that also. wouldn't. resolve things. he'd be angry about that too.
@antroneb1
@antroneb1 Жыл бұрын
I listen to you all day because I was upset by something I seen. This was very good and good acting by the way. This will help people to see that there not nuts that the person doing this has a problem within there self. I took the blame for many years for someone’s life problems, never wanted to talk about there problems but gave out punishment to me like I did it to them, I was blinded by my feelings for this person thinking I 14:36I was doing something wrong. The hurtful things I heard always bothered me, think why would she be so mad over something so small. Had to be something I did, I didn’t do anything. Thank you
@dannymercer9971
@dannymercer9971 14 күн бұрын
The “professionals” are not professional either. Here in Texas narcissistic abuse is horrifically unknown, especially for men!
@gregoryhummer3666
@gregoryhummer3666 4 жыл бұрын
Spot on,thank you
@emanuel.borges848
@emanuel.borges848 3 жыл бұрын
Love it.. I find it kind of funny 😂
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
It can be funny. Sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
@otico1970
@otico1970 4 жыл бұрын
Is so true, thank you 🙏🏼
@damanodrama
@damanodrama 3 жыл бұрын
I totally relate. Thank you for the effort to explain so well. 🍀
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@brisapremia1658
@brisapremia1658 4 жыл бұрын
Very good example and explanation. There were so many times that my ex and me would have frivolous fights and I would respond to her over and over again and at the end of the fight when we calm down I would say oh I just need to learn not to get emotional and respond to you and take things so personal .....not realizing that’s exactly what she wanted from me
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
And maybe not realizing how right you were. It’s hard not to emotionally react to an argument that is solely designed to get you to react.
@athenasword1
@athenasword1 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds to me if their argument is WITHIN them. The one near me isn’t getting R.I.P CARD from me.
@MrBlackretreat
@MrBlackretreat 4 жыл бұрын
You did a great job acting ..... great vid
@LookingBehindtheMirror
@LookingBehindtheMirror 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you! 😊
@rik-keymusic160
@rik-keymusic160 3 жыл бұрын
It Is not always easy to tell. I thought my mother had this issue or traits and to some degree i am suspicious about her “love”… it never really seems authentic but I don’t actually know it for sure since she does a lot in the house and took care to some degree. Sometimes we sit and drink a cup of coffee and she always tries to get int a conversation about my sisters life ( my sister and i can’t get along very well because i just don’t like her behavior towards me…) my mother always tells something my sister said about me so i became suspicious about triangulation… and i see now that this might be happening because if she does this with me, she does this when she’s at my sisters place aswel… but my sister ever really liked me, treated me most of the time wit lack of empathy… she’s the biggest victim you wel ever come across! But to some degree my mother and i can get along but it makes me a bit paranoid thinking that its al an act to get something from me or just so that o not leave her alone. I don’t know 🤷‍♂️ im actually a bit scared to go live on my own … im 33 but had to go back to my parents because of my back pain. Once i was on vacation with “friends” in France but my pain was so bad that she and het new boyfriend came al away to France to get me back home… 🤷‍♂️ so its really confusing all this psychological stuff !
@esperansaloughran693
@esperansaloughran693 11 күн бұрын
Yuk! This is my husband. Loves to argue! I refuse to do it anymore. I told him to go live at the farm house, its been 3 months. He forgot my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New yrs. .....been by myself for all these books. No explanation. No remorse. Nothing. Been married 35 yrs.
@armeniansdoitbetter
@armeniansdoitbetter 3 жыл бұрын
Omg. That was and is still my mother.
@Beverly-e4z
@Beverly-e4z 25 күн бұрын
I'm listening because my relationship with my adult dtr. has ended. I'm trying to understand her increasing animosity and cruelty toward me the last 10 years. We used to be closed. I moved far away due to illness and $$$. She doesn't permit any intimacy. She acts like she cannot trust me. I don't understand. Maybe I never will.
@flyingsaucer1268
@flyingsaucer1268 3 жыл бұрын
good video, need no comments
@theforeigner6988
@theforeigner6988 10 ай бұрын
The crazy thing is, everybody loves her. She the most CHARMING HELPFUL LOVING DARLING you could imagine, except at home that is. SO IT MUST BE ME, right? She gets along with everybody except me. So it must be true, that I am a worthless peace of ... After all, that's what my father made me believe vor 20 some years. It must be true.
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