How Not to Write a Screenplay - Overwriting The Dark Knight - Christopher Nolan

Let's talk about overwriting and how much it ruins your screenplay.
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/ worddancer

[@MrCheminee]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM- DAY The alien entity that took over Word Dancer's mind, while feeding on electromagnetic radiation from all the light sources in the room, is now experimenting with what it learned from a youtube make up tutorial. It makes good progress.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Lol. I love all the variety in these!

[@lloydrobert6182]

2 days of your excellent advice and I'm already understanding the difference between writing a novel and a screenplay. I'm doing both simultaneously, and never had so much fun before. It's beautiful how the two worlds are the same and yet so distinct from each other. The implications for creativity are enormous. Thanks a ton!

[@creatingwithlove]

I agree. I'm finding learning screenplay writing helpful in my editing process. It makes me think more carefully about what scenes I am including and why.

[@lloydrobert6182]

@@creatingwithlove Yes, perspective is as important as plot? I teach in a design school, and put great emphasis on storytelling, combining visual with narrative, leading to a simple comic book, ending up as a storyboard! A clever ruse, and works brilliantly! Try it, it's so thrillingly engaging.

[@xChikyx]

It's cool to see the different ways where Novels and Screenplays differ. Really liking these videos

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah!

[@nickmilton5580]

INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY Word Dancer paints her face the same shade she'll paint the town tonight. Red. With every slash of lipstick her bloodlust swells, a lovingly framed photo of John Gacy by the vanity inspires every stroke and contour. When your face is the last thing a stranger will see, you have to at least make an effort. (Clearly I missed the message of the video haha)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

LOL!

[@mimaonfire]

Totally understand what you mean about over-writing. I recently started to read the pilot episode of a popular television drama and couldn't get past the first page because of the opening description being insanely long. Of all the pilot episodes I've read, it stood out (not in a good way) because I was trying to wrap my brain around all the details. It was distracting.

[@desireandfire]

game of thrones!

[@trevorprime2274]

INT. WORD DANCER'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Word Dancer sits before the mirror. She applies make up with a heavy hand - colorful and bright.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah!!! Tight!

[@batitony]

This is probably one of the BEST screenwriting channels on YT. You truly deserve way more views!

[@andrewcrenshaw2338]

INT. BEDROOM - DAY Like a much younger girl, not yet old enough for makeup, Word Dancer sits in front of a mirror, overly applying lipstick.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yep! Nice!

[@loyalbbnfansshow]

INT. BEDROOM - DAY After a huge breakup, World Dancer sits at her vanity desk applying two-times the makeup out of frustration and anger. With lights amplifying the heavy makeup to say revenge is coming I used the lights to because it brings out her facial emotions combined with heavy makeup to almost say she is crazy Feedback please

[@joshuatelem8796]

Excited to potentially see a video with your advice on writing sentimental scenes and making them work. Thank you!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Can you give me an example of the types of scenes you are interested in?

[@joshuatelem8796]

I've looked almost everywhere and found little to no information on writing scenes that are meant to be emotional. How does one know if they're writing something that reads like a great emotional scene or like a bad attempt at a emotional scene from a made for TV movie? The Terminator 2 has one of my favorite sentimental scenes with John Conner trying to convince Arnold's terminator character to not sacrifice himself at the end. Contrary, the movie The Room is the perfect example of bad emotional writing, It has many scenes displaying this. I would love to get your insight on how I as a writer can avoid writing something like that and create a movie with deep, meaningful emotional scenes without making things cliche or non-engaging.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

OK, I'll put it on the list!

[@C.Church]

Joshua Telemaque . Oh! Shifting from THE Room to Room, when the boy escapes I moved around in my seat a lot choking back emotion. Not sure that's sentimental, but more the result of releasing emotion I didn't realize was slow building. Good video suggestion, I agree. edit. Come to think if it, the first movie I cried at was The Color Purple at 15yrs old. When Whoopi finally broke away, I experienced movie tears to my utter shock lol Either the theme of escape is common to trigger audience emotion or something is buried in my psyche, I keep crying when people escape oppression.. Haha.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I loved ROOM :)

[@lonjohnson5161]

INT. HOUSE - DAY Unaware of her clownish appearance, Word Dancer continues to apply makeup.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I sure did! Yeah!

[@SuperTompo]

Lon Johnson i like that. Lol

[@axparkmarquez]

That wass goood

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Here you can write your version of the scene. You need: 1) A slugline 2) Description to describe the scene. Word Dancer (the character) has already been introduced so you don't have to give me a character description. If you include the lighting, you need to tell us why it's important to your story (it's your story -- anything can happen!)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Cool!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

This will all be in a video soon.

[@somniavitasunt]

INT. WD's self-decorated prison cell. WD's insane love for the joker has her apply make-up in failed Harley Quinn style.

[@MichaelShawcross1]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (@ 10:32) After a visit to Max Factor and prior to leaving for paintballing, word dancer sits on the couch daubing her face with makeup having not grasped the concept of camo paint! Squirrel enters scene stage left.

[@MichaelShawcross1]

Or....... INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Exhibiting her fickle nature in regards to eating establishments word dancer abandons Burger King and prepares for her first date with RONALD McDONALD. Bathing herself in light in a vain attempt to recreate the ambience from the heat lamps of the fries dispenser!

[@TarrinLupo]

I just love your channel, it has been so helpful and I am really impressed with the high production value and topics. I was a novelist and stopped writing because I wasn't making much of a living from it in later years. I would like to move into writing screenplays and maybe use some of my more popular books to make some screenplays from. Could you do a story giving advice about converting books into screen plays please?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I will put it on the list!

[@WavesWatcher1]

A video exploring Charlie Kaufman's Adaptation (2002) would be an interesting meta study. . .

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

It’s on the list!

[@TarrinLupo]

BTW your new look in the beginning sorta works for you :)

[@jag5798]

Thank you and perfect timing for getting this out as I am prepping my spec for future competitions. :)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah! That's awesome:)

[@danoveal8746]

Word Dancer First official date. Game time! Dano met his match! Lights, camera, muah! In her room with a wall-length mirror & huge light's as bright as her confidence, she's clearly leaving one red carpet for another. I chose to match the lights with a "Red Carpet" event and her confidence. The lights are excessively bright, she knows exactly what she's doing and very confident while doing it. Dano met his match, she's also confident that Dano will approve; he'll probably arrive in a tuxedo t-shirt in his Drah-U-La hotrod.

[@baracudabill6076]

INT. WORD DANCER'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Dancer prepares herself with a healthy dose of confidence paint, as if her makeup gun was set to Clown...

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah! :)

[@MrDuck]

This channel is a gem! Thank you!!!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Mr. Duck!

[@aaroncarlson3137]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY WORD DANCER touches up a garish makeup job. Late to the party, here. Love your channel. Cheers!

[@LesiureBoy]

You're awesome because you're so helpful and knowledgeable. Thank you!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Steve!

[@newhistory2625]

So nice of you

[@coffeeandthenewspaper3835]

Thank you for sharing this information . I found myself doing exactly what you said .

[@andresdodge7635]

Love this women! greetings from Costa Rica. Thank you ✌️

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I love Costa Rica!! I want to travel to the Northwest coast:)

[@javeriamoughal8145]

INT. BEDROOM- Day World dancer recording her makeup first impressions review. “Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel...”

[@Awiggins64]

I hope every award winning writer that frequents your tools, gives you credit in their acceptance speeches. Without a doubt I will.

[@firemanreal]

This is awesome, thanks for this video, it’s gold.

[@notstating241]

Excellent information. I know I have a serious problem with providing too much actor direction in screenplays, especially when writing for my main characters. Time for me to do some editing. Thanks!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thank YOU for the comment! :)

[@jearlwilliams4288]

INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY Word dance is looking at her vanity applying heavy makeup prepareing for a play she's staring in that evening. She has extra lighting in the room to ensure she gets her makeup perfect.

[@WriteOnBroham]

Such an excellently streamlined video!

[@signemathildesrensen3486]

Amazing! Thank You 👍

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Signe!

[@skylar4390]

INT. Bedroom- Day Word Dancer is finishing the last steps of getting ready for the day

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work with us!

[@aarkmish8087]

Thank you so much. Another great video. If possible, can you maybe do more versions of turning bad writing into a good one please. We as aspirants will get more ideas about the 'Not todos' that way.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

While it won't be "bad writing," I'm launching a new series where I go over viewer pages and make suggestions for improvement.

[@god_frey6605]

I like what you're doing. Thanks alot

[@ShalandaElise]

INT. WORD DANCERS DRESSING ROOM- NIGHT Word Dancer recreates an iconic 80's look. Applying heavy layers of lipstick and blush, the bright bulbs In her unique, silver over sofa lamp, provides ample lighting, and no unwanted shadows. 😆

[@johnriley9742]

INT. - BEDROOM - DAY Word Dancer sits in front of the body using an invisible mirror applying layer after layer of make up. In her new realm of careless regard for life, reality is now a distant memory. Just found your channel and loving the your work. Thx for all the tips.

[@jeremysladek6623]

Very true! Drowning in detail is like watching paint dry in the dead of winter.

[@tanitaross-cady296]

This was very helpful. Thank you.

[@EduardoRivera-ej8ju]

Here it is: INT. HOUSE - DAY Like a ten year-old on an over lighted set, Word Dancer, proudly bolds-up on makeup as she preps for a special tutorial. LOL! This is fun stuff! :-)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Awesome!

[@Jjrmtv]

your channel is the best!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Viking. I'm starting to get a better workflow going so these are easier. SO much work!

[@1sihingable]

INT. Dressing Room-Day. Word Dancer fears that the bright lights in her room don't do her justice as she she piles on a veneer of rouge and lipstick.

[@martinmcdonald8720]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM- DUSK POV: Word Dance glancing as her face brightly lights up, puckering she applies makeup.

[@roccodimeo3271]

Informative video

[@barry1369]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM - DAY Word dancer is sat on her sofa doing her make up. JOB DONE

[@TesIaNews2024]

You are a god send. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Katy!

[@batitony]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM-DAY Word Dancer is in front of a mirror getting ready for the show.

[@testoftimefilms4286]

INT. WORD DANCER'S ROOM DAY Unknowingly being under the influence cause by her tainted lipstick. Word Dancer applied her lipstick over and over like her body was caught in a endless loop, while her mind was experiencing pure Bliss , she continued the application with the Innocence of a young child until the end of the scene.

[@joeyneniu146]

INT. SITTING ROOM - DAY Word Dancer plasters on make up, coloring outside the lines. The naked lightbulbs behind her over exposes the scene. (added light to show the exaggeration of the whole image)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Cool!

[@shaunjohnson3461]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Word Dancer proudly paints on the finishing touches of a botched layer of make-up.

[@stevekobb3850]

INT. HUCKABEE SANDERS RESIDENCE - POWDER ROOM - DAY (JUNE 2048) Sarah prepares for a job interview. On the tabletop: An ad for her burlesque act, featuring her stage name... "Word Dancer".

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Ohhh... there’s quite a story brewing here... Cool!

[@edbrotherton36]

One of the greatest examples I've ever read of not overwriting was. "A shitty bar"

[@sitraash]

The script should be written like this. But I would also like to know if the director's version of the script that he wrote after reading the usual script contains all these ACTIONS? How does the Joker approach Rachel and what is he doing at this moment? Or is it in the director’s head and he explains what to do? Or is it given to the actors?

[@ButtrNut32]

I know I'm two years late, but... INT. BEDROOM - DAY Word Dancer flirtatiously looks herself in the mirror, she has layers of overly applied makeup, but puts on more -- looks clownish. Behind her are L.E.D office lamps that glistens caked face. My Reasoning. I included the lights, because the focal point of this introduction is to highlight your face, as well as, the makeup being applied. I believe that your character, that is so involved with making herself "pretty" to the point of delusion would baskin the glistening effects of the lights that highlight her "beauty".

[@cwallacefilms]

Question: Is a Nolan script a good example? Nolan is minimalist in his writing because he writes for himself. How about an example for writing for an unknown someone else?

[@AmethystWoman]

INT DAY Coloring outside the lines, Worddancer applies rouge and lipstick like Aunt Irene.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work!

[@Lichachron]

INT. WORLD DANCER'S HOUSE - DAY The lights are on, even though it's still day. Underneath them, it's her. World Dancer. Once a Nicholl's fellowship winner, now a relic of her former glory. The lack of the SX-47 has made her lose her mind. Without any conscience of what is happening around her, she keeps shoveling makeup to her face. Lips like balloons. Cheeks red looking like sunburns. She will not last long.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Lol!

[@Diaz55]

Very nice here

[@EduardoRivera-ej8ju]

LOL! This is awesome! I'm off to my assignment :-)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah! Can't wait to see your version!

[@amiyasingha22]

ASSIGNMENT INT. WORD DANCER'S LIVING ROOM - DAY It's the mirror's point of view. Word Dancer, thinking that she is the most pretty lady, applies lipstick on her lips. Her cheeks are colored. She holds the makeup brush on her left hand. She is confident regarding her looks. She is obsessed with fairness. She has put on the bulbs behind her for extra brightness. Kindly advise :-)

[@jonathanstewart351]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM - DAY In a blaze from windows and lamps behind her, Word Dancer obsessively and over-dramatically applies rouge and lipstick, repeating the process over and over.

[@vadikent]

What do you think about the comments on spec scripts where it says you need to be more specific? I agree with your observations but also this is a Nolan script. He can write whatever and however he wants and still get his actors to do stuff through directing on set. Keep in mind that the script you have is probably a final draft leading to the production draft as scene numbers are yet to be added. I’m hearing this thing called reading draft lately. Do you have any comments on this?

[@vimalfilmfactory9877]

thankx thankx thankz

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

You are so welcome!

[@vimalfilmfactory9877]

how about scripting on vfx

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I’m not familiar with it.

[@SuperTompo]

Great advice... 👌

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks, Tompo!

[@trevorprime2274]

You seem to make a lot of videos about the top screenplay errors you see as a reader. Top screenplay errors by a studio reader sound like a good and unique selling point. That is, for this channel. Play around with the idea in your head, if you will. You might find it a good way to rebrand your channel. Or, it might inspire, at least, a playlist topic. +Word Dance - How to write a screenplay

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for the imput!

[@coryrowe2149]

INT. BEDROOM - DAY Leaning forward to look at her reflection, Word Dancer applies makeup as if she's a toddler using her mothers kit.

[@Diaz55]

I might be a little late but here goes. INT. HOUSE -DAY Even though word dancer couldn't get any prettier she continues to apply more make up to match the heart shapes on her cheeks.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work!

[@raynerstuelgalid]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY. What will the look be? "The Joker" or "Lipstick on a pig?" Word Dancer STABS her lips with the lipstick.

[@witetylr]

INT. PAMELA'S BEDROOM - DAY Out of their bomb shelter and experiencing her first day above ground, Pamela stumbles upon her mother's old makeup kit. With no mirror and only a beauty magazine at her disposal, she goes to work creating her new identity for the world to see.

[@amritroopsingh7241]

INT. DRESSING ROOM.DAY A well decorated middle class house. Jane(character name) is overdoing the makeup looking at mirror

[@meetmoviemaker]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY WORD DANCER, turning herself into a joker by over applying the make-up.She is confused if she is looking like a zombie or a joker.

[@mikes5079]

Hello Word Dancer, I just noticed my assignment is the only one that didn't get graded (liked) or maybe a no like means I failed. =( Ah well.... Any tips on what I did wrong?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I don't give grades -- it just shows that I read things. I found it and read it:)

[@C.Church]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY A puckered Word Dancer practices pantomiming applying makeup with a closed lipstick and a brush. .... Question: I would love this to be part of a sequence in which WD is auditioning for a job as a live action mannequinn... but if the scene is so short, say in a continuous cut with her panicked sister rushing there to warn her about the casting director, none of that should be in the above, yes? Just the facts with good punchy words? (I'm loving the evolution of your channel. :)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Yeah!!

[@xanthippus2934]

Hey Word Dancer, I'm really enjoying learning from your videos but I only have one question when it comes to overwriting. I understand that you need to maintain the pace of the read but what if you have a scene that takes place in a fictional environment? Like for example you have a scene where a character discovers an alien civilization for example and you want to take the time to describe it. Is it worth dedicating a couple of sentences to put an image in the readers head or not?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

A couple of sentences is fine:) More than likely the camera would linger on the new environment as well while the character checks out their surroundings. It would be kinda weird for the lead to end up in a new place and without missing a beat start doing things and we don't get them reacting to this new world.

[@xanthippus2934]

Thank you very much for the reply :)

[@AmethystWoman]

@@xanthippus2934 deciding what the new world looks like is the job of the director and set designer unless something specific has.tknoccur to fit your dialog. Otherwise you are wanting too much control. Screenwriters have very little control over the final product. Then there is someone else who does wardrobe. And the actors know how to act out your dialog of it's well written. So we only write dialog and very little action. - except to show instead of tell - important. This is not from vast experience on my part, just a lot of reading.

[@xanthippus2934]

@@AmethystWoman I completely agree, but what if the writer is aiming to direct the project as well? Would it not seem appropriate in a spec script for the writer/director to remind himself of the finer details of the story?

[@AmethystWoman]

@@xanthippus2934 ah, yeah. I guess that means the original script would be the shooting script? Shooting a film is not even in my sights. 😁

[@constanzagarcia348]

INT. WORD DANCER´S LIVING ROOM-DAY Word dancer paints her face with too much make-up, like a toddler. Sorry, my first language is spanish. I am learning a lot. Thank you so much. Muchas gracias, eres genial.

[@thehollywoodphantom4413]

INT. WORD DANCER'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Now seated, adding even more lipstick.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work with us!

[@MrWha-ok4jb]

So, I'm curious... would a reader pass up a good story simply because a slug was two lines? It seems that would be kind of picky...

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Not for that alone, but if a writer is making that very simple mistake, the reader will assume the writer doesn't know what they are doing. And an agent reading until they decide "no" might have that be a "first strike." A few more and they will stop reading. It's like dating: Will you turn down a guy who shows up on the first date with a big stain on his shirt and he has bad breath and drools a bit from going to the dentist that day if he's a really great guy? Not the best first impression.

[@MrWha-ok4jb]

So, if one was to enter a contest and say there were maybe 4 or 5 slug lines in a script that maybe went over one or two words, but the script was great, would the decision to toss that script be discretionary then?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

You mean over two lines? No one is going to toss a script just for having a couple sluglines over one line, but judgement is very subjective and the more errors there are, the more the reader will be distracted from enjoying your story and it might score lower.

[@speedofmercury]

INT. DRESSING ROOM - DAY Practicing with rosy red cheeks before her Cirque Du Soleil performance, Word Dancer over applies her makeup.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work!!

[@pauielicious4433]

Hello!! Does minimal character actions also applies in animated shows script?

[@turbo72577]

INT. WORD DANCER'S RUMPUS ROOM - DAY After losing her mirror, and accidentally being locked in that glue factory for an hour, Word Dancer prepares for a night at the opera. WORD DANCER Perfect!

[@AmethystWoman]

INT FAUX MAKEUP STUDIO DAY (FLASHBACK) Worddancer is 10 years old over-applying her mother's rouge and lipstick. (I guess there are only so many ways to say it. After posting, I read down and noticed someone else also chose age 10. Funny.)

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing your work with us!

[@cherrijohnson2277]

INT. ROOM-DAY After watching Stephen King's "It" Word Dancer tried her hand at special effects make-up.

[@newtoatheism5968]

Can this advice work for comic scripts?

[@coffeeandthenewspaper3835]

I got it A+ 😀

[@joy54321]

Thank you Word Dancer, for all of your helpful videos. Is there a book on screenplay structure you can recommend? I have read Save the Cat, Story Solution (Eric Edson) and Story Maps (Daniel Calvisi) and they are all similar yet a bit different from each other. Any suggestion on a book that follows the industry standard more than others?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

"industry standard" - That's a term that's usually used for formatting as opposed to structure. Are you looking for a book on format? Save the Cat is pretty clear standard three act structure. I'm working on a course on structure -- I have my own techniques that really work and will give you structure in a more organic way. There will be an announcement here when it's ready!

[@joy54321]

Yep, I meant structure. These three books differ a bit about where specific things like inciting incident, theme, midpoint, ,etc., should be placed and even suggest specific pages. Of course, they all preach their way is the correct way. Just wondered if we should get caught up in such rigid rules, and if so, which book is the best one to reference. BTW, I just started reading, "The Screenwriters Bible" today, so I can add that one to the list. I've often considered creating a hybrid mash-up using all these books, but you may have beaten me to the punch. I look forward to your structure course!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I don't go by page numbers:)

[@CelticMeaning]

INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY Word Dancer sits alone, over-applying makeup, in an attempt to set-up a lesson for her online students. Note: I did not include the lights in the background, I do not believe they served any purpose to what was occurring in the scene. -FC

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Cool!

[@UzairSipra]

nice

[@axparkmarquez]

INT. - WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM - DAY Natural and Artificial light blend, causing Word Dancer's face to glow as she cakes it with colorful makeup. She is proud even though her work is a disaster.

[@nathaliacruz7001]

Hi! I'm writing a screenplay where the lead character doesn't speak for must of the scenes, so i describe every gesture she makes since it's her only way of communication, could this be an exception?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Absolutely.

[@heitorla]

Interesting. I guess following her advice in this case, you could just limit yourself to listing only the meaningful reactions. If nothing really happens, you could leave it to the actors to decide what reactions or facial expressions come up. Perhaps you don't need to spend too many lines with reaction. You may, for instance, only focus on reactions that have a purpose or that reveal something significant about the character. Leave the rest to actors and directors.

[@davywilliams8048]

Come back out of retirement, these videos are great!

[@sidharthgoutam1634]

INT. WORD DANCER'S ROOM - DAY The Word Dancer with an overdose of makeup applies lipstick in a peculiar way. The fluorescent bulbs in the back, lighten her hair to make her feel beautiful in a way.

[@ajhonnayak5921]

Int : living room day Word dancer she has pretty face and psychically making over make up becoz of her students, for give to new script assignments

[@TiagoCavalcanti-ji6hu]

By now, I don't know how much I owe you. How can we reach you these days?

[@heitorla]

Is it awesome? Check Is it clear? Check Does it work? Check Is it helpful? Check Am I entertained? Check Is she gorgeous? Check check check check check Am I sad it is over? Check Will I watch the next video? Check Congrats. You definitely rule. You are right there with Lessons from the Screenplay and Nerwriter1.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Cool! Thanks, Heitor:)

[@heitorla]

I am rooting for you to get to the one million subscribers. I believe you are making a difference and I am sure you will contribute to helping people write better scripts. This video was really effective and insightful to me. Anyone beginning will benefit immensely from your videos. Big fan here!!!

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Hopefully the channel will grow - right now I am a pretty small fish lol.

[@heitorla]

I don't know how it works in terms of getting subscribers, but if good work matters, you are on the right track.

[@hariprasad6756]

INT. HALL-SOFA-DAY In a room with bright showcase lights behind word dancer over postures her lips while lip sticking them.

[@angelokobal2497]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY The worddancer paints her face with lips stick. She doesn't acknowledge the ridiculous movements of her hand as she let's her inner Michael Angelo take controll over herself.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Oh, yeah!!

[@SBK12009]

INT. BEDROOM -DAY Word Dancer is sitting down. With her face makeup already on she starts applying her lipstick in an unusual manner.

[@falcongarcis6930]

INT. Living room World Dancer lets everyone know how she is without her medication.

[@lonjohnson5161]

In a recent script, I had a scene a character arrives at precisely 9:00 as a way of establishing an element of her character. I struggled with how to show the time, knowing that the audience won't know what time it is if they don't see a clock. Do I include the clock when we see the room for the first time? Only when it matters? Leave it to the director? In the end, I wrote something like this: INT. - ... - 9:00 PRECISELY I worry that it is too sparse, but everything else just seemed to eat up too much space. Please forgive the ironically long setup for the question, but I thought the example was useful for setting the stage. Is it acceptable to use a common item like a clock or a chair without first mentioning it in the scene description?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

If the time is only in the slugline, the people watching the movie will have no idea what time it is. If it's crucial to her character for the audience to know she's coming at 9:00, there needs to be something else.

[@MrCheminee]

I actually found a similar situation, I handeled it like this: Previous scene: we see the wheel of a bike, we hear one of the characters talk in a J-cut, the wheel fades and we see the clock, which tells us it's the next day, morning, we see a calender on the wall, with a very important clue (maybe even a spoiler), but only noticable for people who are really looking for it and then finaly we see the people who are talking during this shot. Later on we find out it was pretty important that whatever happened at this time, happened at this time. I don't know, maybe there is something in this you could use. :P

[@MrCheminee]

I was just thinking, you could also maybe solve it indirectly if you rather not show a clock or something like that. If you establish that something else always happens at 9:00 (a colleague bringing coffee, the neighbours playing their music, a radioshow starts, someones alarm going off, loud stomach noises from someone who is always getting hungry at precisely nine o'clock) you might be able to get rid of the cliché boring clock. Now that I think about it, I might change it in my script as well. ;)

[@sekhmet4542]

Is she the sort of person who would arrive early and obsessively check the time on her cell phone? Is she so precise that she would time her footsteps to the door so she knocks exactly at 9:00? That would help you show the time - it's something the character wants to do.

[@lonjohnson5161]

How about: ON CLOCK 9:00 AM precisely. BACK TO SCENE with that being the only mention of a clock existing in the room?

[@moondawwg]

I just read the script for Her Smell, by Alex Ross Perry, right before watching the movie for the first time, and it completely ruined my experience with the film. The script is an overwritten nightmare. The guy describes every single detail and every thought going on inside the characters' heads. Motherf*cker even puts entire sets of lyrics straight out of azlyrics.com as character dialogue everytime someone's gonna sing a song. What you can get away with once you're an established filmmaker is amazing.

[@nikestes8981]

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Word Dancer sits on a couch in an overlit room and applies a certifiable amount of makeup.

[@amiyasingha22]

Thank god.. By default, I was not thinking to write like this.. and you taught the same thing.. Here's my version .. i changed it- BIG SORRY TO NOLAN IN ADVANCE INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY A cop opens the door in urgency. It's a typical hospital room. We can see the back of a redhead nurse. COP Nurse! that patient is eating my crucial seconds. Can you come? The redhead nurse turns towards her right. It's the joker. He holds a pistol with a silencer on his right hand. He shoots the cop. The cop is down. I am still in the learning phase.. kindly advise.. :-)

[@amiyasingha22]

so.. the building was going to blow up. There was a stubborn old patient who was not willing to evacuate the hospital. The cop went to ask for help from the nurse (The Joker). Umm.. I don't know how it is?

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

I won’t be able to critique all comments- there are so many I wouldn’t have time to make videos!

[@amiyasingha22]

I understand..

[@LDEPOV]

INT. BEDROOM - DAY In a comedic gesture, WORD DANCER overpowering her full lips with red lipstick. She has too much red blush on her cheeks and chin.

[@rsacchi100]

INT. WORD DANCER'S BEDROOM - DAY A heavily made up Word Dancer sits on a couch. There is ample sunlight but she has an array of intense indoor lighting behind her. She rolls lipstick around her oversized lips.

[@amiyasingha22]

Why didn't you write a comment on the assignment? Is it so bad? I wrote whatever I observed.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Lol. I sometimes am on my phone and I do comments at my desk in batches later. It’s cool!

[@amiyasingha22]

ok....

[@drexhaustus]

INT. WORD DANCER'S HOUSE - DAY Word Dancer makes a show out of puckering her lips, slathering on gobs of lipstick.

[@worddancer-howtowriteascre9144]

Thanks for sharing!