How Predators Choose Their Prey While Dating

[@liza.radley]

Keep in mind many of the predatory men think that they're good guys.

[@TheSpiritRoom23]

That’s a lot of them! How would they know if they aren’t dating each other… the way they claim there’s so many good m@les how would they know…

[@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty]

🎯

[@Pandan1351]

FACTS

[@elegantempress1395]

They all do. Men are delusional

[@bunnyboo6295]

Its always the one's claiming to be good. A good person normally doesn't need to announce it

[@CTN404]

Men who repeatedly say I’m a good guy make me nervous. Being a good person is usually shown with action.

[@lucymadelengregg4482]

Same girl, 100% true. Red flag.

[@nonya8193]

Yes and mose males tend to speak in the opposite.

[@VK-kc3ob]

Can’t attest to it, it’s a red flag 💯

[@starryskies1716]

Exactly. If you're a good person. You wouldn't need to constantly remind others about what a good person you are. It'll reflect in your words and actions.

[@Comesaround]

The one who keeps throwing around "I am the good guy" are the worst. A good man don't tell others how good they are.

[@sarah.j.777]

Insecurity makes a person a target to predators everywhere.

[@Blaaaah98]

Bothe genders do this in the workplace as well.

[@sORrYiMLaTe_wHAtdiDiMisS]

True, found that out at 9

[@lkeke35]

Yeah they can smell insecurity a mile away!

[@shanouboubou]

I'd also like to add that female friends can also be predator and feed us others's weaknesses

[@MaryDunford]

Security makes predators openly hostile. I'm okay with that, but it's not ideal. I've learned it's easiest to let them think you're more insecure than you are and quietly disengage. Maybe that's a form of enabling. Who knows? But they're time burglars, regardless of whether they're passive-aggressive or openly hostile. Dealing with short-term passive-aggression is usually less emotionally charged or destructive. 🤷‍♀️

[@cherylmorton2883]

They Talk Sexually Quickly ( Huge Red Flag ) Even in their compliments.

[@mechellejackson6336]

Yes this is a big one a total red flag

[@Muck-qy2oo]

Unless they are clear about only wanting sex and being capable of accepting a no.

[@squidwardwithoutaclue]

Okay so women never want sex ??? Why are you dating a man then ? 😭

[@seraphilight]

If they're saying things like "You're a fun girl/guy." and it doesn't sound as nice a compliment as it should be- it's because it's not a compliment at all. They're setting an expectation that you need to prove yourself to them, earn being their equal, and meet their requirements. Usually by degrading yourself and agreeing to whatever they want.

[@strawberrytiramisu]

This!!! Guys who do that with me get blocked with the quickness. I’ve had enough of that bullshit when I was a teen with creepy ass teenage boys. Fuck that.

[@GrowWildOutdoors]

What I'm learning: Be strong, confident & self-actualized before dating someone.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

This is supposed to be common sense though.

[@smudge8882]

​@@rosamaundallen1035 It might seem like it because it's been something you've been aware of for a long time, but a lot of people don't realize this. I think one important piece of self-awareness is knowing that your own experiences are not going to be the same as everyone else's.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

@@smudge8882Obviously but people should know not to walk around being dumb potential victims of other people.

[@NataliaMoon29]

That why im still single xD

[@shiannafoxx]

@@rosamaundallen1035Victim blaming at its finest

[@mc1618]

Being single is wonderful thing

[@taz9234]

Very 😂😂😂😂Just too much to find the right guy 🤦🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️😂

[@userofyoutuve]

Absolutely 💯

[@Vshlynnn]

Amen lol no relationship problems or drama, nobody else to romantically consider besides myself

[@HoneyBee1980]

Yes It Is

[@jetblackkinks]

WONDERFUL

[@stylebyiris4302]

Real men do not ask for anything. They ask you what you need.😅

[@TheMegaGamingWizard]

Ew no

[@uduakudo8908]

I like this comment!! Bcuz, one of the reasons I am single is men spend so much time trying to get what they want.... it's exhausting.... & why does it have to be so much so fast!

[@trenchrock]

When you start dating he'll ask you "So what are you looking for?" When you tell him, he'll pretend to be all those things until he has you where he wants you. Instead, when he says "So, What are you looking for?" You just say "Just be yourself and I'll let you know."🙂👍

[@shaktimishra9710]

Nah it's still better to tell them directly. Some women like princess treatment some don't that's why it's better to them Edit: Your boyfriend isn't a mind reader or God tell him what you want directly don't expect him to know everything when you don't even communicate. Grow up ladies be little mature life isn't a film.

[@SunflowerOfTheEast]

Had a guy ask me that recently. He said he likes to think he fits the bill. Well I asked him what his intentions towards me were: Girlfriend, just friends or friends with benefits? He said casual relationship and see where things go. I straight up told him I wasn’t into casual intercourse. He ghosted. It was like garlic to a vampire. 😂

[@tamick2000]

Or turn the tables on him and ask what he is looking for. I finally recognized that the less I talk, the better. Most people really just are not good at hiding their agendas if you let them talk

[@Abenahh]

@@SunflowerOfTheEast 😆😆😆

[@Nokss87]

I say I'm not looking for anything, you approached me 😂😂

[@Avelithe]

Once I went on a date with a man who turned out to be a real creep. He was insisting I get in his car and go home with him and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I decided to go FULL UNHINGED CRAAAAZY MODE and scream on the top of my lungs in public, just full on embarrassing him. Needless to say, it worked and he left in a hurry.

[@icingcake]

*wouldn’t take no for an answer” -> run

[@Avelithe]

@@icingcake LMFAO!!!!! Dude I spit out my drink

[@icingcake]

@@Avelithe lol 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@icingcake]

@@Avelithe I worked with a guy like that. After I said something that the other guys said they thought made him tear up, he toned it down. 😠😒

[@xxxtrddy]

As you should. 😅

[@gracefulgardenia7713]

If you tell a man about anything abusive that an ex did to you, he will think it's ok for him to do it to you too.

[@spacebar9733]

Not true for every man.

[@sophrosyne5900]

😅 This is only true for TOXIC man . Choose differently 🎉

[@gracefulgardenia7713]

@@sophrosyne5900 Most if not all men are toxic. Which is why I made the aforementioned suggestion. Telling women that "not all men" are toxic is encouraging them to keep getting played and then blaming them after the fact "You should have chose better" Instead I'm suggesting that we accept that men are toxic and act accordingly by withholding certain information such as anything abusive an ex did to you. I will add another. Don't tell him how much money you make or how much you have. Period.

[@saturdayschild8535]

@@gracefulgardenia7713Too true.

[@sophrosyne5900]

@@gracefulgardenia7713 True that 💯

[@Rae_Rae25]

And stop apologizing. Across the board: at your job, dating, etc.

[@MyBeautifulHealth]

Unless you’re late. It’s rude to whomever you make wait, no matter the reason. 🫶🏼

[@hopethecreativeone]

AMEN!

[@EarthLady333]

I think another target of a predator is if you are a single mother, talking about how unsupportive or deadbeat your child’s father is. Some predators want to take advantage of what they may feel is a vulnerable single mom.

[@tinyking11]

BINGO! 💯‼️

[@EarthLady333]

Or, introducing your child to that man, early on. That might come off desperate too (not to mention it just being unsafe).

[@tinyking11]

@@EarthLady333 Yep. I only have 1 child and I’ve been single for 3 years but I’m exclusively dating someone and this guy is the only man that has ever met my son. I’ve dated a lot too but no one was worthy of meeting him.

[@marshaanderson7105]

💯

[@olgabushak2942]

Anwar have said to just tell the guy right away if you have kids....I don't agree. Women w children have to BE CAREFUL. Safety always comes 1st then him trying to say oh you lied ... no I didn't lie... I'm just being cautious

[@elonawilliams4809]

Watch out for back handed compliments ❤

[@KatGlo]

He touched on it early in the video. But it’s negging and I nip it in the bud immediately.

[@alexia3552]

Like my dad to my mom, “Aw, you’re so broken, but I love you! You’re such a good woman!”

[@Shortee452]

Fake fake fake

[@astridjorgensen7971]

@@alexia3552 that does sound bad but genuinely asking, how can you express that you love someone including their flaws without it sounding bad? bc you can't just say someone is perfect and flawless bc it may sound fake to them but i still say it anyway sometimes bc it's how i feel if they're perfect to me. but then i never know how to say i love you for you including your flaws without it sounding weird. so i said it once and haven't said it again bc it felt wrong lol and she didn't seem to love it. i guess maybe it's best to just not bring it up unless they are seeking reassurance about their flaws?

[@TheBurgessNetwork]

One of the biggest problems is society doesn't teach women certain things. Including "following your gut." I have weeded out so many men because I followed my instincts. Just because you have a man's attention doesn't mean he deserves your attention, your time and space in your life.

[@NataliaMoon29]

As an only child that grow up playing with barbies I can agree with this, they should encourage girls since their birth Then we can talk about physical strenght and all that stuff But society needs to encourage both Boys and Girls!

[@lostvampire69]

Exactly. We even teach girls to NOT follow their gut. So many boys treat women bad but instead of educating and disciplining them, we tell little girls that they are sensitive, too emotional etc.

[@cmg25]

I heard someone say that “butterflies” are not attraction or love, they are your nervous system sounding the alarm. 🏃‍♀️💨

[@squidwardwithoutaclue]

We are all society. Society is you. And me. Everyone impacts everyone.

[@b1njjj95]

So true! Society puts too much pressure on women to get married and have kids, but it never teaches women how to watch out for the danger signs and how to enjoy life without a man. I'm not interested in dating because I enjoy being single too much. But there is so much wisdom in videos like this and books that talk about red flags to look out for while dating. _Why Does He Do That?_ by Lundy Bancroft is such a good book!

[@IraSol37]

The best date I've ever been on has been when I'm dating myself... No fuss, no stress, no manipulation, no test, no disappointments, no creepy vibes. I would never change that! 😊🥰

[@strive4253]

How can we date ourselves? I'm very confused.

[@zoraidita2022]

​@@strive4253 basically work on yourself by taking a class, or writing in a gratitude journal.... Getting to know your boundaries of what is not acceptable in your book.

[@strive4253]

@@zoraidita2022 But how can we be intimate with ourselves?

[@rachelschendel2476]

You definitely can ​@@strive4253

[@zoraidita2022]

@@strive4253 I just answered this, learning about yourself what you like and what you are not going to put up with, your boundaries physically, mentally and spiritually.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Predators love to get you talking and then will mirror everything you say. It’ll look like you have so much in common. I haven’t dated in nearly 30 years (married), but I will never tell another man what I’m looking for so he can pretend he fits.

[@cassandracross-soto4133]

This is so very true! I remember our first date and I did most of the talking not realizing he was just mimicking all my likes and dislikes pretending we had so much in common. Well, one divorce and a PFA Order granted later, he soon realized we are nothing alike! Mental Disorders such as ASPD, NPD and BPD need to be addressed more openly in our communities!

[@yezmirsheppard-halika6892]

​@cassandracross-soto4133 my husband did the EXACT same thing. It's VERY weird. He mirrored me. Now I'm leaving him.

[@TheBurgessNetwork]

Oooooh! "I will never tell another man what I am looking for so he can pretend he fits." Damn. I know better next time. What are you looking for? My answer: let's get to know each other and you will find out whether or not I'm looking for you. 👍🏾THANK YOU.

[@UnpopularOpinion3000]

​@@TheBurgessNetwork 👍🏾

[@SheIsFearfullyWonderfullyMade]

100 percent facts!! I’m naturally introverted until I really know someone and it works so well to my advantage. And I am an excellent listener with an amazing memory so needless to say I can pick up who someone truly is within a few dates.

[@curtistinemiller4646]

A predator looks for your vulnerability.....

[@loveusyendi.7621]

More like weaklings who find their strength online from KZbin videos. Perfect prey

[@guineaslaughsandpets488]

Yes they do I've had a man tell me he goes after weak broken women because there easier to control

[@curtistinemiller4646]

@@guineaslaughsandpets488 I know..

[@curtistinemiller4646]

😔

[@audreyquinn73]

A woman's vulnerability is what attracts a predatory male. If she is isolated, he can "make a move" without witnesses. Always, always be aware and alert in your surroundings. Be safe.

[@blushbaby5278]

This happened to an ex friend of mine she has 2 daughters ages 12 and 8 from a previous relationship and started dating a new guy after a few months he promised her marriage and she moved him into her home, within a year he SA the 12 year old and gave the child Herpes.Took a year for her to get her children back because they placed both girls in a foster home the pedo was a serial child rapist with numerous charges from other children he was finally sentenced to 25 years to life in prison. Ladies if you are a single mom who wants to date do background checks on men or wait until your kids are 18 stay safe and god bless...Never bring men home to meet your children!

[@yezmirsheppard-halika6892]

Why are you all ex friends? This is so awful. A nightmare. This is what dating as a mother scares me the most.

[@blushbaby5278]

@@yezmirsheppard-halika6892 To be honest i never looked at her the same her job was to protect her children and she failed them by bringing a stranger into her home. I just couldn't see myself being her friend anymore

[@QueenOftheScorps]

@blushbaby5278 This is similar to one of the mother wounds that I carry. My mom would move her abusive boyfriends into our home, they would beat her up (and me because I always defended her), she would kick them out, then let them back in after a while, rinse and repeat. Once things didn’t work out between my son’s father and me, I never allowed a man into my home because A). I wanted to protect my son in the way I wasn’t protected as a child; B). I didn’t want my son to feel that instability and precariousness; C). I didn’t want my son to witness different men coming in and out of my life/home. Your ex-friend’s daughter’s situation is infinitely worse than mine, and I’m so sorry that baby experienced that. It will have a lasting effect on her, but I hope something positive is able to come from her trauma, and that she’s still able to live a full life.

[@pettypattytheprincess3784]

@@blushbaby5278I see where you coming from. She moved him in her home after a few months of dating, that is wild

[@janetteadams4023]

I just had to write to mention I just watched a video on KZbin tonight where a women let a man into her house. The criminal psychopath ended up killing her and kidanapped her 6 year old daughter and used her as a sex slave until he was finally caught and arrested! Date someone out of the house and do background checks and all the research you can do!

[@karynbanksley7110]

Beware of the “me too” guys. It seems like no matter what you say you like or dislike, they will always agree saying “me too” as a way of establishing a (false) sense of compatibility with you. That is why it is essential for YOU to ask the questions and get his answers first before giving your answer.

[@livinmabestlife]

Yess

[@getreworkd]

Also, you definitely don’t want to stick around once you’ve had to set a boundary that’s considered a deal breaker. For example: violent yelling, shoving, teasing, inappropriate behavior etc. you want to communicate (if necessary) then leave. Block. Delete. Don’t return. Your returning is a signal they can do worse.

[@jamuq3589]

🎉Yes🎉

[@Celestials1aurora]

wait what if he when on call or when he plays videogames he starts yelling and raging when he plays videogames and curses alot??

[@pearlschoice1988]

@@Celestials1auroraRun!

[@Celestials1aurora]

@@pearlschoice1988 why? he hasnt yelled or cursed at me though..

[@haileyt857]

​@@Celestials1aurora he isn't considering your presence. Especially over the phone

[@RicciCaine]

1. Don’t always make yourself available. Even if you’re not busy, avoid being at his beck and call. If you’re constantly available, he may think you have nothing going on outside of him. Predators often don’t reciprocate, making themselves “busy” when it suits them. 2. Don’t invite him over, especially if you live alone. Predatory men often ask about your living situation to see if they can move in or assert control. A useful strategy is to mention living with a male family member rather than a female roommate. This can deter him from trying to take over your space or run your household.

[@reallifetopicsrevealed7295]

*My best male friend is the most honest man I know. He said, "Some men see a house full of women and children as prey. That's why it's important to have a man around that cares. It deters other men from taking advantage.*

[@tru_kru_bahbee24]

Yess sis!!! Me and my brother lived together, and when I tell you they could put NOTHING past him. Men really know MEN.

[@littleblackfox1]

This is why when I lived alone I was soo scared of men finding that out.. I would try to hide it from the neighbours, I even got my dad to leave one of his spare cars out the front so it would look like more people lived there.. I thought I was probably being over cautious, until a creepy customer from work followed me home one night and tried to break into my house at 1am.. I was awake gaming and heard someone trying to open the front door and when I turned the light on I saw him turn and run down my driveway.. I knew who it was but there was no camera so the cops told me they could do nothing.. I found a kitchen knife next to my front door the next morning.. I hate that I need to move in with my bf just to feel like less of a target.. I hate it so much.

[@kwilson4125]

@littleblackfox1 In a lot of states, they have a process called a Warrant Application or Request Warrant for a victim to request that police issue an arrest warrant (if they fail to do so). Gathering info would help you pursue this, such as hiring a private investigator to do Geolocation tracking on him, having the guy surveilled, his cell phone location near your home, fingerprints from the knife, asking your neighbors for their ring footage from time of the incident (catch him walking or driving by), etc.

[@user-lr4dj8fs6e]

I never cared for guys to repeatedly tell me how attractive I was. The first few times is nice, after that each time they say is I get is a bigger red flag. 🚩

[@lucymadelengregg4482]

True

[@AmbientofLight]

Honestly? The bestway to weed out predators is to not want a relationship period. When u do, they cannot seduce u.

[@SamSpray-jg9hz]

Exactly because you can have more fun by yourself learning and traveling the world and taking care of your family and friend relationships not being abused by some no demon

[@terisedwards6887]

Great advice

[@heathermetz6576]

3:09 "Let's talk about your actions. Don't chase. Don't initiate text. Don't initiate calls. Because you're chasing him."

[@clarenceadams2143]

Keeping boundaries when you’re vibrating low. Hard to do.

[@thealchemist0000]

True. All that attention people give to others should be focused on themselves. Once we create a solid bond with ourselves and God. Things do get a lot clearer.

[@goddessblack8787]

Get your vibrations up!!

[@SheIsFearfullyWonderfullyMade]

Honestly when I was at my lowest (pre meds and counseling) no one approached me anyway🤷🏽‍♀️😐 which I’m grateful about because I definitely could have been someone’s “prey” My unsolicited advice, take time to yourself until you feel like the best version of yourself💞

[@SylviaGonzalez]

Try singing to get your vibration up!

[@Lo-kv3tg]

Gonna have to add that every predator I've ever known used their own offers of help as manipulation tactics. It does many things -- earns the person's trust, makes them indebted to them, gets them into their house...help is not always altruistic.

[@traderLeah]

yeah I don't even accept drinks that are made in front of me anymore because we're worth so much more than that, and 99% of the time it's a way to see how much you value yourself.

[@thepragmatist]

Completely agree with this.

[@anacristinamoura881]

Very true! 👍 From my experience it's the favourite strategy of covert narcissists.

[@Bernardt_Art]

This is the worst

[@gaiatropicana]

a black, african, christian man was trying to pursue me, and the first time he acted manipulative "oh, you don't love me, because you won't do this and that" (we were seeing each other for 2 weeks and hadn't even kissed yet!), I cut him off and showed my limits. he said I "wrote too much", was exaggerating and said "it was a joke, I was testing you, you always jump to conclusions". he's out of my life. yikes.

[@lucymadelengregg4482]

Yeah I had an African man tell me in the beginning when we where talking. One day I shall always remember his words. And not forgett them. If he hurts me, it's never about me, it's about him. 😂 He was a bit too honestXD Telling on himself and his intentions. He probably thought I wouldn't pick up on that or let it slide. His energy was vampiric and dark and off from the beginning. I only gave him my number because he stood himself on the pathway pretending to need a break so I couldn't pass. Man if a girl wants to be with you, you don't have to try so hard it's not going to last that way anyways. Men are desperate too.

[@sharongray6901]

Abusers always say hurtful things and then say "It was just a joke" as if they didn't really mean those hurtful words. Wrong Speech is always wrong. It is in the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism.

[@wendiesioux]

I had a predator groom me for close to four years until I was trapped in a situationship. He was charismatic, sexy but also the guy next door. I even checked in a local tea group and no one had a bad word to say but none of them had dated him. He bread crumbed me with friendly Facebook private messages, hugs and attention. When we finally became intimate he knew just what to do to bond me to him but withheld the relationship status that I wanted. It about broke me but I finally blocked him for good and got away. This man also went after women either much younger or much older than him. Definitely something to look out for, ladies! Thank God for Anwar spilling the tea! I feel proud of myself for changing my old patterns and doing the work!

[@thetruth40026]

You go girl!!

[@EthersTarotReadings]

🥳👏🏼💚✨

[@rosamaundallen1035]

What he is saying is common sense and no one should be having sex with anyone outside marriage anyway. Also, when you notice oddities in someone’s behavior, you are supposed to stop contact with them.

[@guineaslaughsandpets488]

I think this is the main problem, women having sex with men outside of marriage When the sexual revolution started and birth control came out. Now us women are suffering because giving men free sex has not helped anything! Men having sex without having to marry women have made men worse in behavior, and it's women who has caused it If women would say no to Sex outside of marriage and stop trying to be friends with men by giving them girlfriend benefits men would probably take relationships more seriously. But women rooting for abortion, showing off all there bodies, and sleeping with lots of men who won't even pay their bills for them or help them when they need help, just shows women in a bad light. Men are becoming more disrespectful towards women because women are disrespectful to themselves and other women. Women bragging about killing there sons and daughters, bragging about sleeping with a lot of men, and showing there. Bodies to men who aren't there husbands . I think it's causing more problems than good!

[@शाम्भव-qf7od]

I have been in the same situation wendie

[@vivekkarajasegaran2664]

As a bi, I tell them I'm bi and they start having the locker room talk which is abhorrent!!! And also if you're strong and independent, he'll def find it challenging to break you. Not to say that women who are strong and independent are vulnerable but are mostly targets for such men, they enjoy being sadistic by breaking someone and it's terrible when I come to think of it

[@LittleSparklingStars]

Mind immediately goes to threesome

[@carlyh6913]

Facts. It's all about control and breaking down a person.

[@g3n0sc1d3]

The strong and independent one... my ex used to crap on me for being a "independent woman" I feel that one he used to say "one day you'll have to submit" So I left.

[@thepragmatist]

I’m bi and have had the locker room talk as well.

[@satisfaction.6735]

The locker room talk?

[@sapphira5323]

Yep the teasing or negging was a big one that I put up with because it was always a 'joke" he was a controlling narc

[@kdphotos4691]

Yep, learned that one too. I dip at the first sign of teasing or negging. It seems harsh, but sticking around only leads to irritation and being annoyed all the time.

[@sierral8027]

Great information and I agree. Some things I am aware of is external factors. A lot of you probably already know this, but I still think people need to be actively aware of it. Some might target you solely because of external characteristics that they assume make you easy prey. 1) Being fat- A lot of predators assume you are desperate and don’t have any self worth. Therefore, they can show you a little bit of attention and you’ll do whatever they want. 2) Living alone/ not having a village or support system - This suggests that they can do whatever they want to you and you’ll have no one to turn to. When you do ask for help, it’ll probably be too late and no one will be there in time. Often times you see predators take their girlfriends and move them out of state and away from their family for this purpose. 3) Being young, a virgin, or “church girl” - Assumably, you don’t have a lot of experience. Anything they give or show you will be taken with awe. You’ll fall for them easily and they know they have you. 4) Older/ Middle aged woman with a good career- charm you and stick around for the money. Suck as much out of you as possible before moving on to the next person. Others: Having a daily/ weekly routine - easy to track and hurt when alone and vulnerable Single Mother- Desperate, looking for a good man to help out, introducing kids to people early on suggest you have no worries for the safely of your kids (too trusting) Tourist-Ignorant of social norms and surroundings, don’t know who to trust Overall, it seems like the main two things they are looking at is what aspects make you easy to manipulate and what aspects make you easy to access.

[@lovebug6388]

Wonderful assessment. I remember hearing about reformed criminals having conversations with police. They asked how & why picked their previous victims. They went over surveillance tapes of people in parking lots and pointed out who was a target and who wasn't. Those who were deemed targets were preoccupied with phones, not paying attention to surroundings minus phones, didn't have keys at the ready when approaching their vehicles and or had too much stuff in their hands. They also were parked in bad lighting at night or really far away period. Similar MO with these predators, just a different crime.

[@SNYhandle]

@@lovebug6388 Yes! Even people who walk at a faster pace are targeted by predators because it looks like they’re in a rush and unprepared and/or rushing because of anxiety

[@matxalenc8410]

Yes. I've always been aware that me being fat and with no social circle makes me a target. I noticed it when I was in elementary with how people would treat me in such a disrespectful or abusive manner, no matter how nice I was - including adults. When I got older, I noticed that the people who claimed they wanted to be in my life would act up, too. I would give them the axe. If you call them out on it, sometimes if they really think so little of you, they'll admit it, but try to spin it into a good thing.🙄 It's not always about insecurity. Sometimes it's literally about who's at the bottom of the social totem pole, and what you are socially allowed to get away with.

[@Jem5122]

How do you manage dating while a church girl. This is actually something Im fearing as someone in my mid 20s. I didn't date much to focus on school and work, but now I don't have a lot of experience. What should i say to a potential partner if they ask about my dating history. I don't want to lie but at the same time i don't want them to see me as someone new and to conquer

[@Lifedisabledd]

​@@Jem5122Just be aware of being love bombed in the first 3 months. They know as a church girl you want marriage and kids. Anyone who promises you marriage without knowing you, it's a trap. Remember when you date church guy, just because he is a good guy, doesn't mean he will be a good partner. Church guys can hook a girl and then put no effort into te relationship, so it can be a lonely relationship, run don't waste time if that's the case, they will ever change.

[@Lynnie_ThePoo0930]

My mom had a ex boyfriend that was extremely creepy, and me and him had a "mailbox" mom thought it was cute till he wouldn't let her read the letters he wrote me. He called me said I looked like zuri from Jessi and was weird about it*im black*. He tried to intimidate my mom and she wasn't having it. He even showed up to me and my brother's school to"pick me up" they aren't just going for the one they're dating, they go after the children too, watch your kids 'round these random people.

[@kdphotos4691]

There's also the ones who will insult you when they see you're comfortable with yourself. Example - a random maintenance drunk at a bar where I worked said to me, "you're hot!" I replied, "thank you" then kept on with my work. He started cussing at me and calling me "full of myself" and "hey, I gave you a compliment." What's the correct answer when someone compliments you? "Thank you." That wasn't the first or the last time one tried that mess.

[@DanielaRosenrot]

In idea : "I will kick you out the exit door or call the police if you don't behave." something like that. Evil people do not deserve to be treated with kindness and also not with enduring their disrespect.

[@kdphotos4691]

@@DanielaRosenrot - I didn't own the bar. I only worked there so didn't have the power to kick him out. If I owned it, nobody would be hearing the story at all because it would be one of many incidents.

[@MeiMariie]

Clearly that MF was insecure. No real Confident man would have a problem with a woman who sees her own beauty

[@thepragmatist]

@@kdphotos4691It’s hard when you work at these places and don’t really have the power to defend yourself the way you ordinarily would. These guys know that and take advantage of that.

[@kdphotos4691]

@@thepragmatist - Being at work wasn't really the point. They've done it when I was out with friends. The point is the entitlement of expecting anything more than "thank you" when someone claims they're "complimenting" you.

[@kimsnyder5456]

I drive uber and I'm positive I had a predator in my car the other day. He was asking me so many personal questions... I answered only those I knew he couldn't hunt me down with. He got almost violent when I mentioned partner instead of husband referring to someone else. He kept talking about how I needed to hit (male genitalia,) and didn't say a word about himself. Oh yes, he kept telling me how I was a beautiful girl like I am a child. I was very aware he was gathering info on me to use against me. When I dropped him he wanted me to take his number so I could 'drive him around without the app'. I was well aware of his tactics and told him I don't do that ever. I then reported him once I got him out of my car. There was other illegal behavior going on so I hope he has been banned. No matter what, I have him blocked from ever getting a lift from me again.

[@lilianfowler7988]

At 61, I am a nun - I literally don't want none. If you had been my friend 20 years ago I could have avoided a world of pain. Thank you so much for sharing God-brother magic. The protection from predators is angel level work. ❤

[@TheBurgessNetwork]

Amen. ❤

[@g3n0sc1d3]

Being a nun doesn't seem so bad these days. Especially seeing how well sisters treat eacother.

[@Svetlavic]

​@@g3n0sc1d3true been considering it

[@nothingbutme1150]

Absolutely spot on! Ladies please listen to this man!

[@lexa_power]

I’m not dating at this point in my life but I have noticed a lot of these tips apply to other relationships in your life- especially around male platonic friends, male co workers/bosses, even male family members with bad boundaries. In terms of saying you’re dating for marriage, I have to half disagree - I think it’s good to say it only if you’re ready to stand on business and genuinely not doing anything physical outside of marriage. When you’re serious about it it can be a powerful tool to weed out people who are going to waste your time. But that also means that once they tell you they’re “not looking for anything serious” you have to clock it and block it / stop replying to them altogether and never give them another chance- which 99.9% of people don’t have the strength to do when they’re attracted to someone! But if you really stand on business and your actions match your words and you don’t give any men who are not marriage oriented the time of day, that frees up a lot of your time to focus on other things besides relationships with men who don’t share your values. It only comes off as desperate if you say it but then don’t stand on business and leave him when he starts not acting right.

[@j-us-t_be-in-g]

Many of these women, from my observation as well as experience, play mind games with men, so it's both ways.

[@CloseYourWombs]

Ladies RUN for your life. Nothing is wrong with staying single. It's too dangerous to be out here dating (man) off the internet or off the street. To do all this man is saying means the man KNOWS nothing about you except superficial things i.e. (pictures) and you know nothing about him. Date people you have something in common with and that you know somethings about and he knows some things about you and have similar values and cultures. --- Date through mutual friends, people your family or relations know. People you grew up with, people you know from a work place....things like that. This way they know things already and about and you know things about them (cuts out faking)....cutting out all of this weirdo sht. --- WOMEN GET OFF DATING APPS. It's 2024. Get Off!

[@soulfuljuiciness]

@@CloseYourWombs I was introduced to a guy through friends at a party, he stalked me for a year, and then he lied about me to them and I lost their friendship

[@prosperpetuity7987]

Predators are everyone whether you know the or not! You have to do your due diligence and leave the first time things are not right!

[@CloseYourWombs]

@@soulfuljuiciness That’s a different topic/narrative. Sorry that happened to you. Navigating our circle can be hard but it beats wandering the wilderness alone.

[@rivers9023]

Dating apps are full of perverts or weirdos/abusive people imo

[@shaktimishra9710]

With the mindset like you i believe you aren't even patner material

[@user-deesegma]

This guy is GOLD. His delivery is so loving and authentic. Delivery is concise! ❤️

[@AG_only_comments]

This man actually brought pretty good points. Those exactly the behaviors of narcissistic people.

[@ang28471]

You said "Mother Wound", I felt that. I don't want my daughter to be able to say the same.

[@chershoopshoop7942]

You are doing a good job mama 💘

[@ladyofspa]

Agree its a self esteem wound from childhood, not necessarily a mother wound... need to be aware and heal all wounds or predators will eat you alive.

[@ladyofspa]

You might be right on stating dating for marriage you demonstrate it with your high worth and self priorities. Let him ask dont volunteer.

[@lucyandecember2843]

​@@Bb-jm6wx i mean it could be caused by someone or something else than a mother

[@victoriakemp1919]

​@@Bb-jm6wx truth. My mother passed when i was 7. As i result, i ended up with my father. My mother wasnt there to build me up, but my father was and didnt. Working on my self esteem as a 30 something has been hard, but im doing the work. ❤

[@cmg25]

We need to learn about sociopaths and how they only engage with people as if they are toys. I am hella skeptical and still had an encounter with a real piece of work at work. Now, I am even more skeptical of 100% of people because it’s efficient and necessary.

[@SibyllaCumana]

It's true, they test how much they can disrespect you...

[@jessicapoolson2720]

This might be an obvious tip but don't ever see it come up but Never give them your last name makes finding Home Address & a lot more

[@TheKim369]

I met someone on a flight, friendly enough but not my type. A couple week later I get a letter with some tame pictures, his bird bath, a plant that had recently blooomed. We had only exchanged first names. But I was carrying a book and used my boarding pass as a bookmark. I left the book on my seat when I used the washroom, I am certain he must have gotten my full name from there when I was away from my seat. (I was married, and had even mentioned it, was abolutely not interested, never replied, nevr heard back)

[@tania0070]

Be careful giving them your phone number then because they can get your home address and information by inputting your phone number in a search engine.

[@livinmabestlife]

​@@TheKim369that's scary

[@MilesAndCounting]

There was a jewel in this that I needed to hear. All the last week or so the phrase “interested men act interested!” I got ALL the confirmation that I needed. Life is too short and I needed this short cut! 😉

[@Kiki-jx6by]

What worked as a negative for me was when I allow men to come over to my home too soon say within the first week need more information about this individual because he could be anyone from anywhere. Or going to his home too fast. Just meet up for small dates for a while basically work on a friendship first, gather as much information on him as you can.

[@Bb-jm6wx]

He doesn’t look at you as a his friend and there’s no way to be his friend . A crocodile doesn’t see a squirrel as his friend .

[@Keeks492]

I will never understand how women let a total stranger to their homes.

[@themultifacetedmami]

I keep attracting guys who say I’m too serious when I set boundaries or tell them I don’t want to play with them like that. Only attracting them, no longer dating or entertaining

[@lyricst.germaine1153]

I wonder if showing vs. telling them about boundaries would be best? You know, as in be about it, not talk about it. Let 'em see by my actions vs my speech

[@themultifacetedmami]

@@lyricst.germaine1153 I agree I do be talking too much but it usually will be they’ll tease me or joke and my response will be serious, not necessarily “don’t play” but I’ll address what they said if they were incorrect

[@chershoopshoop7942]

@@themultifacetedmamiHow dare they. I think standing more firm in your delivery will be a good thing. Seems like they sense loopholes/cracks in them. You don’t deserve that.

[@themultifacetedmami]

@@chershoopshoop7942 thank you for this

[@loveusyendi.7621]

If you're too serious all the time then you probably have anger problems too. Address it 💯

[@aprilswill9204]

When they compliment me, I look at them like they’re full of shit. I know they’re saying it to see how I react.

[@MsCrissell]

This is an over-correction. You're going to weed out good men this way too. To treat guys like they can't be trusted from the door is a sign of being jaded and wounded. That's a red flag for any regular honest guy with good intentions. Although they initially like you, they don't want to have to pay for what the last guy did or didn't do. You should graciously accept compliments with a confident "Thank you" and a smile.

[@HM2FLY]

Then when you suddenly stop receiving compliments you’ll be on tiktok crying 😂

[@lkeke35]

I give a brief thank you and and a nod and that's it! Your demeanor when people compliment you means a lot. I appreciate it but I don't need it!

[@lokisfriend]

Say thank you, a small smile, then move on. If you don't acknowledge it, you won't get another one.

[@ExperimentalSDWH]

Kudos, Don't be polite if you can SENSE they're fishing for Miss Polite Princess; Give them stinkeyes like a Cat and let them know you're a dignified creature NOT to be toyed with for any reason. Don't make the innocent newcomer pay for the crimes of the bad apple exactly, But know your body "kept the score" And recorded past incidents for a reason. You cannot just wipe away your past experiences In favor of the new fellow. Maybe it's not fair to make him clean up someone else's mess, But it's not fair if like, He wants a "Clean Slate" with you And a "Clean Slate" back from you But you're already stained with some coffee and... ...Other things. >.> (in context i mean "Clean Slate" as in forgetting any trauma you have like deleted paper off a story draft. Sorry if I'm babbling by now ^o^; it's just... trauma for myself means my bar is set quite high now; I can't just lower it because someone else is starting at level 13 but I'm already at level 55 somewhere, or something xux) I don't care much that "Women, be polite" programming seems to be in effect still >w> It's not very polite to toy with you and fish for "useful" reactions, after all. Cats can be super playful and affectionate, But they're also quick to let to know when they don't appreciate something you're doing to them >u> By the way I've never dated. These pieces of advice May actually be really poor to act out in a dating scene! So accept with grains of salt; My brain finished spewing out its eccentric thoughts on the matter, So thank you for reading if you did ^w^ 💗💗

[@Blaaaah98]

This is what needs to be taught in public schools. ❤

[@zoraidita2022]

Both.

[@Jac527]

Glad I’m 4B. Men are exhausting. Kudos to all ladies still looking for the “one”. Wish you the best.

[@BelwillCoily]

What’s 4B mean?

[@sapphira5323]

So true and we are conditioned to think women are the complicated ones 😂😂

[@reelfly]

​@BelwillCoily It's a feminist movement that began in Korea in 2019. Basically, 4b is the refusal of (heterosexual) marriage, childbirth, romance, and sexual relationships. 😊👍

[@Bb-jm6wx]

If that was sarcasm you ate lmao . Women don’t realize they are looking for “the one” and men literally aren’t 😂 and they aren’t secretive about it either. I don’t get how they don’t see what’s obviously written on the walls and that’s not something that’s prioritized by men in real life. They make it known they are very anti-love and they think it’s weakness

[@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty]

Exactly because why go through this? Constantly making a man behave is exhausting

[@702thomas]

I do allll of this intentionally to see his reaction to weed out predators.

[@SNYhandle]

How? Can you give examples? When I read your comment, I’m just thinking of how you’d be sucked into a bad situationship

[@secureboundaries]

Brilliant 😍😂 I think I've done this myself unintentionally few times 😅

[@pilarq7886]

​@@SNYhandle I'm guessing if one throws out big bait and he bites then for confirmation throw some more little bait - you only wasted few hours of your life. Narcissists cannot handle word NO, Rejection and Are Entitled 😳look for that

[@EthersTarotReadings]

​@@SNYhandle Play into there wishes without going to far Or act like a pick me or pretend a lot knowing it's all research to get him comfy to drop his mask 🎭💯✌🏼

[@tsholofelojmodise6728]

Yes. I stay on the run, any reason to run...my calves are at work

[@winternightsky6945]

The way I see it with my friends, family members, coworkers and associates. You can give them all the tips/warnings you want. It doesn't matter if they have a two parent household/good daddy around or grew up with a good single parent home. They will get with these men/or women that they know very early on is not right for them. But society has taught females directly/indirectly that it's better to be in any kind of relationship/or marriage than to be single. So many stay in toxic/dangerous relationships when they can safely get out before producing kids/or more kids in the mess and things get worse. Then they lie and say they didn't have family/friends. Many do have family, but they know their family isn't going to let him come around with that bullsh*t and they don't want to be embarrassed depending on family/friends. They get distant because they want to stand by their man/or don't want to be reminded that they need to leave him alone. I feel sorry for the kids because they didn't ask to live with two toxic/or broken people. I've lost a lot of relationships with friends/family because they put up with vile mates and expect you not to say anything and give them money/watch their kids while their mate doesn't contribute like they should.

[@clairewilliams7762]

Great comment 💯

[@inevski]

Fact is it's women who make it difficult for women to be single.

[@Bb-jm6wx]

Yup

[@lucyandecember2843]

👀

[@inevski]

Society's messaging is messed up. There's nothing celebrated about being single as a financially independent mother or woman who got free of any type of abuse. Being single is pathologised.

[@dlod8371]

Doing the lord’s work. God bless you!! 🙏🙏 Sometimes I wonder why we as Hetero women even bother in the first place, so sad we have to educate ourselves about these things ☹️

[@amayzingyoga6403]

I realize.. I did most of these in the dating world and then you had to call me out about my mother 😂😂😂😂 I guess that’s what I needed to hear, I have since stopped most of them but I’m glad I listened 😅

[@sasakidotcom2232]

Truth truth truth stop chasing these men women!

[@TheModernAlchemix]

(New level of love and respect for you!!) THANK YOU for speaking on the mother wound!!! I tell my friends who are mothers with daughters, “they don’t do as you say, they repeat what you do.” You must be the shining example of how a woman is to act as well as be treated in this world, otherwise it’s another generation lost in trauma😢❤

[@heathengypsy]

I wish someone had told me this in my twenties, sadly 20 years later I have learnt the hard way and everything he says here is on point. I’m too tired for straight men’s shenanigans now. Been deliberately single and haven’t touched a man in 7 years and honestly it’s been the most peaceful and contented time of my life. Close friends fill my social/companion need now. I’m 42 and honestly can’t see myself ever entering another relationship.

[@karynbanksley7110]

Agreed! I chose to stop dating after having my heart ripped out once again in November 2014. This November 2024 will mark 10 years of peaceful existence without being hurt, used, or traumatized by a man!

[@2_blAck]

I skip over compliments because I don’t need them. I’m grown, kids look for validation from others.

[@staceywilliams1863]

Shit don’t move me at all! My homeboy told a dude: you might as well kill them compliments she don’t like that shit! 😂

[@MadamButterfly19JDM]

Correct! Teach!

[@shianeharris1340]

Speak for yourself, if you can. I was a shy kid that never wanted compliments bc they made me nervous

[@cassandracross-soto4133]

AMEN!!!🙏

[@mommyevolve1378]

Nothing wrong with compliments actually. If they never do...red flag

[@lakitawright6003]

Great advice. Married my husband as a virgin & no regrets. I made him work! As in prove to himself that this relationship would be about the relationship 1st. This will be 20 years & we’re even happier

[@Yougotthis1212]

It’s important for women to tell men what they’re looking for. I told my husband on the first date that I’m dating for marriage not just to date and if he wanted to just casually date then that’s fine but it would be our first and last date and I didn’t want to be friends because I had enough of those. We’ve been happily married for over 20 years. I gave my sibling the same advice and she got married also. You don’t beat around the bush with men and you don’t allow them to waste your time. You set clear expectations and either they step up or they don’t. The choice is theirs but I going to do what I’m going to do regardless 😊

[@prosperpetuity7987]

Congrats that worked for you, but there are some bad actors out there who will pay along with your desires and switch up on you afterwards. It happens don’t tell everyone your whole script because they will play the part!

[@MeiMariie]

Times Have Changed Mam. That Is No Longer The Way To Go

[@CarolAFollowerOfJesusChrist]

Yes they mirroring what we tell them we desire in the partner we want. I had to learn the hard way.

[@SheIsFearfullyWonderfullyMade]

Happy it worked for you BUT as women we need to listen more and speak less. Your actions should tell a man if you are just looking for a “special friend” or if you want marriage. Let your actions speak and listen, listen some more and then listen again😂 because they will ALWAYS inadvertently tell you their true intentions.

[@livinmabestlife]

Yass

[@niceymix1]

Fairy God brother, you just...you just...dropped PURE GOSPEL ❤ love you for this.

[@miriamuSama]

Scary shit. I just started to ghost a predator and this video just confirmed every little thing that bothered me. Truly gave me chills…

[@pvz0484]

I'm glad you're out of that scary situation 🧡

[@GA-ik6pi]

Narcissists will target. But everything you said makes alot of sense 💪🏾. This is duly noted.

[@terisedwards6887]

They'll say "I don't hang out with anyone or I don't have any friends" then try to monopolize all your time because you're his only friend but he's really trying to control you by separating you from your friends and family

[@DulceBesso]

I'm not looking to date. Married 16 years, totally in love. But everything you're saying makes sooooo much sense and will be sharing with the women I know and love. Fantastic video!

[@Vshlynnn]

Thank you for bringing this up!! I learned these lessons the hard way in past relationships by doing too much & dealing w too much. Avoiding/not dealing w low effort & showing yourself love like you’d give a partner are some of the best things we can do to help this!

[@tamick2000]

The lesson most of us were not taught or maybe don't want to accept because we want instant relationships, is you will date many men who are not the one. Chasing them when they are not calling you doesn't create a relationship, it just opens you up to predators. If you don't heal your wounds, you will chase and then wonder why you keep ending up with bad relationships.

[@tsonofjohnson489]

I got smart and I go manless. My Full attention is with myself for my wealth and for my Health 🌹👑🥰. Starts with Self Sisters ❤

[@heathermetz6576]

“Mother Wound.” For Real!

[@Danap-mykaykat]

Another way predators see their interactions is fishing. The act of reeling in your catch by wearing them down. My dad was in jail and he’s always told me that the SO’s in there would talk about “fishing”. Remember when it comes to fishing, the fisherman is wearing the fish down until it gives up. Remember that when he won’t take “no” for an answer and won’t pick up on your signals to be left alone- he’s fishing you. It’s best to state outright “I’m done with this interaction” and get as far away from that interaction as possible because he’s already decided you’re his target and trophy, so don’t get tired as that’s what he’s after.

[@briattnybrittany6843]

1) your words and actions must match (and vice versa) 2) do NOT discuss your traumas, insecurities, wounds, etc.. see a therapist! 3) match their energy- if he isn't investing in you, don't invest in him 4) listen more then you speak - men not only show you, but they'll tell you if you listen 5) trust your intuition/be secure 6) don't date if you aren't whole or healed 7) accept him for who he is right now, not what you think he could be 8) be content within yourself - partners aren't solely responsible for your happiness and they shouldn't bring you down either; he should be a bonus in your life.

[@marianne3802]

Thank you 🙏

[@Nelz4]

Took a screenshot. Thank you 👏🏽

[@celestialfortuna37]

appreciate your advice. i dont need it anymore given my age but for vulnerable younger women with less experience your wisdom is like free gold. thank you for helping and protecting the innocent and vulnerable.

[@MoonLightOnWater1]

Absolutely true….I’ve tried to tell women about all of this over the years.

[@ronellepatterson4176]

Thanks for helping me clear that up. Because I thought I was being paranoid, but men be out here really this type of stuff.

[@Wally733]

I had a child by a warlock ! As soon as I had my daughter money went missing, he was digging in my handbag, I would be at family’s house and he’ll randomly pop up (which I didn’t mind) , broke my daughter arm etc I had to run!! I was laying with my biggest hater. Everything you’re saying is true.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

You should have been more discerning. Men all of a sudden don’t become horrible. They are like that from the very beginning. People always intentionally overlook the red flags. Also, you should not be having sex with a man you are not married to. We bring problems onto ourselves.

[@ladylove34]

​@@rosamaundallen1035you're 100% wrong. They do change overnight. Look up "love bombing," which is a tactic that can last YEARS

[@loriar1027]

​@rosamaundallen1035 That advice may have worked many years ago (though I have my doubts), but I'm not going to marry someone without knowing if we're sexually compatible first. My husband and I have been happily married 14 years but we were together for 5 years before that.

[@TheBurgessNetwork]

​@rosamaundallen1035 - I once thought like you - wait until marriage before having sex. Then I found out that a woman can be allergic to a man! 😳 That was it for me. I'm having sex before marriage. I'm not marrying a guy I'm allergic too. Biblical days are long gone.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

@@TheBurgessNetwork This world is too sex crazed.

[@kp7726]

Amazing, thank you. One thing I notice in addition to what you said is when the predatory person will minimize your thoughts or feelings and say “it’s no big deal”, and attempt to increase doubt in your perception of reality at higher intensities over time.

[@CitizenB23]

100% Facts….remember it’s called the “Dating Game” ….so don’t be the Loser

[@lahlahluv8380]

Truth 💯

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

Money is a big one any man that cares for you will not ask you for money they are the ones providing for you it is their pride to provide for you theyll be ashamed to ask from you even when they need it or of you try to pay for them theyll try to stop you dont trust men who ask women especially women they are with for money.

[@siciliamoet9081]

I agree, however, in my case, I actually dealt two sociopath types that were very generous & doting & paid for everything- one would get very mad when I offered to help out… that anger was def a red-flag. He, also, liked to show off in front of friends, by handing me a wad of cash for me to go out w/my friends.

[@kdphotos4691]

I was video chatting with a used to be famous musician from back in the '80s. I didn't fancy him, but he was funny and we had some good talks about music. I got the vibes he was trying to play me as if he liked me for more than a friend, and I was extremely disappointed when one evening, he asked me if I had any money. That was all I needed to hear. I didn't even want to be his friend because if he's that old, has the world at his feet because he's still deeply respected as a musician, and he was asking if I had money, which would only lead to him asking for some, then he's not even friendship material. I used to work in the music industry and a lot of people in the know will tell you, "never date a musician." Unfortunately, they're right. Even the ones in the classical music world... 😂😂

[@shaktimishra9710]

It is mostly women who asked for money for no reason. If she is true woman she wouldn't ask husband money too.😏☕

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

@@shaktimishra9710 she would but only when necessary

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

@@siciliamoet9081 Thats true if its coming off as lovebomby like too much too quickly then yikes thats where dicernment is needed.

[@JAHzJaJa]

Naw, everyone is NOT healing; hence, one of the major issues in society today regarding relationships.

[@ametrineambrosia4929]

Not everyone is. Everyone is not means nobody is healing

[@rosej5029]

It's interesting he doesn't mention that women also have a father wound especially when so many women never grew up with one having to watch their mothers be both mom and dad in the home!

[@younggiftedandblack7634]

Many women who grew up WITH their dad's in the house have father wounds from watching dad abuse mom.

[@RoyalBlood23]

You sound almost gleeful 😅

[@Jem5122]

Girl just speak on your own trauma instead of dragging him

[@HealedChakras777]

​@@younggiftedandblack7634agreed. My father was around physically and financially until my mum wanted a divorce for cheating. He was invisible in every other way.

[@angrycannibal6625]

THATS IT!!!!!

[@brishellebrooks9345]

Noted: not telling men ‘I date to marry’ or ‘I’m on my healing journey’. I used to do that but I’m leaning towards not anymore bc I don’t like the reactions or responses. I feel like it also scares them. So thanks for the tip fr!!

[@allsmiles3281]

Gotta be willing to leave and not see the baby pink flags turn red. I’m out of there babes✌🏿. Also having your own, starting within, is critical! I was easily bamboozled when I wasn’t secure within myself or established (career, personal, etc.). You don’t need to be perfect but you need to “have you” to not be easily impressed. Also elevating your circle and interests (no not the level up stuff lol) but in the real world, so you see examples of standards. I’m a lesbian and the standards are the same. Always be on awareness and observe, give only what has been earned and what you can easily replace. Anything of value is not easily accessible. Testing phase is huge I throw out stuff just to see.

[@momobebe]

I just sent this to my daughter to tell her to share with her friends! They're in HS now and they need to wise up before it's too late

[@ShannonMichelle7937]

I love you Anwar. You are validating women ❤ I’m raising 3 girls, 2 boys, and I want them all to be safe.

[@ms.rivera7898]

Thank you for this. I have been out of the dating world for 4 years, since I moved back to the US. I am a bit rusty.

[@Quebonitoeslobonito123]

I follow you on TikTok, but just found you on here. I want to say your advice is miles ahead of many love gurus out there. It’s so practical and full of insight. I appreciate how much value we get in a single video unlike a generic theory as so much of the stuff on TT. There’s very few creators out there that I would say are on your league. Leaving this here because you deserve the flowers 💐 I may not know you personally but as a woman, and most importantly as a living being, that has gone through so much even at an early age… I need to tell you that this is more than dating advice. You are helping people with their lives, and every day that you wake up, I hope you remember that you are helping a lot of people. Especially in this day and age, where so many male content creators are teaching young men how to destroy a woman’s sense of self for their own egos. Thank you for your work! You’re a beautiful human being ❤️

[@datcat0000]

Ummm i think ALL women need to watch this!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge

[@Warriorwoman9802]

So true. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏾♥️

[@asiablackgrl6482]

This was so helpful!!! Now I know the signs so I don’t have to move with fear or be worried. When I see some 💩, I can just leave!

[@ydakda7233]

Very valuable information. Only a few decades late 😅

[@jojo_rose341]

I would actually skip the verbally setting a boundary part for safety, theres lots of ppl out there who are looking for an excuse to fight, espcially toxic ppl. I had an ex that one of my friends called him out when he started questioning her choice about something with a bad attitude, it wasnt curious at all it was why are you doing that????? and she snapped back and he just got super defensive and turned it around on her like "wow i was just asking why did you snap at me like that???" they will do this to you if you try to defend yourself! and they do it so that you get upset and flustered and that is gold to them, they can make you look like the bad guy. Remember when a stranger walks by and sees you arguing with a fool, its impossible for them to tell who the fool is! Just leave ppl, if someone pushes boundaries at all it means theyre testing to see how much they can get away with, dont give them an in to try to fight with you, make a nice excuse on why you have to leave. Its not about being "agreeable" or "ladylike" fuck that its about getting out of there as fast as you can without giving them an opportunity to fight you and make you feel or look bad.

[@maryberry8331]

My Darling were you ten years ago? 💯 correct

[@SheenaBerry-g5c]

This video needs to go viral! This is spot on!

[@BelindaSyreeta]

That was the Run Down!

[@nelamatysova9235]

i wish i had seen this when i was younger😃 it would help a lot. thanks for sharing this message to other people who need to hear this❤

[@ana102502]

Fabulous advice

[@LindaMoroun]

Omg you’re 💯 correct. Thank a for telling the ladies the full truth

[@erykahhoney588]

❤ Keep these types of videos coming.