how rogues destroy campaigns

this one came right out the garbage
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[@XPtoLevel3]

Mega thanks to Ridge for sending me that slick wallet and supporting the channel! You can get 10% off your order with this link: ridge.com/XP

[@memes4life990]

Hey can I just ask, do you recommend metal dice over plastic dice? And if you do, where do you recommend getting metal dice from?

[@bskec2177]

Now I need a weekly campaign with all of these characters.

[@maxpowell9079]

love the content bro

[@maxpowell9079]

Memes 4 Life it depends one good metal set will always be better than a plastic set but if you’re looking at buying them in massive amounts or for all your players then plastic will be better for you

[@maxpowell9079]

BSKE C same

[@Giantcloo]

The barbarian is the only member to actually get anything done here

[@dazeyndrowsy]

Sounds like most campaigns

[@716pfeast]

Almost. the Cleric was able to Heal the Bard, too.

[@Quicksilver_Cookie]

@@716pfeast So...he hasn't achieved anything of any use to the party, is what you're saying? :D

[@picklesandnori]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@pitchysadistic]

as per usual

[@drigondii]

“My leathers are shadow colored.” That’s one way to say it.

[@gustavoprado1227]

@Pontus von Geijer Nice one

[@whereisawesomeness]

Reminds me of the worst line from Fahrenheit 451, “He hung up his black-beetle coloured helmet”

[@echori.]

Real ninja wear blue! ~

[@LightsOnTrees]

because this is my united states of whatever.

[@monsieurm0u731]

@@whereisawesomeness hey, I read that in school

[@slayinderp7501]

The Barb just screaming to signify he's raging is the single most accurate thing about this.

[@Mystic-Moose]

I laughed very out loud and paused the video at this moment. The bowlcut is pure art!

[@ThePCguy17]

Hey, it always worked for Grog.

[@avsnathan2879]

Bard*

[@mcswashbuckler3833]

@@avsnathan2879 barbarian

[@Mystic-Moose]

I desperately need to know whether Druid jacob is either a pothead druid or just have Moose the cat sit in the whole time instead

[@AncientSlugThrower]

The rogue was the most effective character at the table. He frustrated the DM so much, they skipped the Beholder's turn.

[@icevlad148]

and every one of beholders legendary actions

[@Zandonus]

@@icevlad148 Perhaps 'The Beholder' Is just an apprentice-baby-beholder.

[@denimator05]

Imo this is partially the DMs fault though for not just ruling the rogues actions as a noble sacrifice and just killing him and the beholder

[@fallendeus]

@@denimator05 wtf are you talking about? There are clear rules about what happens in this exact situation. If all the other party members are within 10ft of it, they get sucked in. End of story. Also, this doesn't kill anyone. The rogue is still alive, the beholder is still alive, the entire party is still alive. They are just scattered throughout the astral plane, which is infinite in size so essentially it is a tpk, just with characters that are alive and have almost no chance of ever getting back to their plane or ever meeting the other party members again.

[@denimator05]

@@fallendeus You don't have to follow those rules though if you think it would be more cinematic. You could also give a Dex save for the party the jump outside of 10 feet. Obviously the rogue could have done better, but the DM could let the rogue do what they were doing and still keep the party alive

[@benjaminrosiek5007]

i like this barbarian, very compelling character, he should be on more.

[@willieearles3151]

AHHHHHHHHAHHAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[@GibusWearingMann]

I want to see the barbarian do an ad read: AAAAAAAA _Honey logo appears on screen_ AAAAAAAAAAAA _screen recording of fetching coupon codes_ AAAAAAAAAAA _now holding a discounted item_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA _discount code on screen_ AAAAAAAAAAAA

[@arkamfate9371]

People, I got a fever and the only cure for it is more barbarian!

[@honooryu5374]

@@GibusWearingMann yes absolutely

[@dim-flower]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/amG8nH9tnciskK8

[@MrWhoDare]

His cleric having to mitigate his healing so carefully, and basically play chess and think 3 moves ahead, then IMMEDIATELY have his plans scraped cause of his party being ridiculous.... god that’s so spot on

[@TreefireX]

Except the cleric's decisions with time to plan were lackluster at best. Clerics have a huge number of incredibly useful spells and features and with all that time to plan guidance and healing word was the cleric's turn. But I've been there, some party members just love going down :P

[@jasonpurcellau]

I would never use healing word on a party member unless they got downed. Its just not worth the slot.

[@Thalanox]

@@jasonpurcellau That's the whole reason it's a bonus action, isn't it?

[@MrKoffeeKup]

Whenever I play healer people tell me to plan my turn out because I take so long, they always forget my turn involve them :C I don't play healer anymore.

[@nicolasgodines1129]

As a cleric main, I cast Guiding Bolt until it dies. Usually my strategy.

[@MrFForger]

"Trust me: it makes sense in my brain." Every player ever at some point.

[@Zorant0Zero]

Its because he knew the rogue would get attacked.

[@RJ-1580]

Thats what I told the party when i wanted to play up the forge in our ship full of explosives in order to kill the pirates

[@Tae_Grixis]

That reminds me of the time I tried find a way to lower a platform that was flush with the floor. It made sense to me.

[@teo3066]

Me when I dimension door up 500 feet to throw a rock for maximum falling impact damage, not realizing you appearently fall 500 feet per turn

[@DoomsdayR3sistance]

Hey, it's better when it makes sense in the brain of every party member.... Party: "Let's ask the Paladin with firebolt to burn away the mould in this room of a mainly wooden building in the middle of the woods" The story of how my tiefling paladin became known as an arsonist for a single misguided action... and another tale of how our party got a reputation for destroying anything they come across, even tho we haven't really destroyed all that much.

[@TheDangerNoodle]

I love how the Beholder is just so confused he never takes his turn and lets the rogue just fuck around and find out

[@joshuaseagondollar2495]

Beholder: You know what? Imma see how this plays out...

[@vyrv6719]

Let him cook.

[@thema1622]

Is a thing a beholder would do

[@epigone1796]

He beholded

[@brem-]

I like how the beholder never does anything, so I just imagine whilst the rogue is doing all his weird shit the beholder is just looking at him trying to figure wtf is going on

[@janTesika]

well, he blaster the bard with disintegration, so that's something it did. But yeah, I can totally picture that beholder just going 'what the fuck is that guy... OHMYGODHE'SONTOPOFME!'

[@Aerowarrier]

The beholder is looking at him in utter confusion, as in all the millions of ways it imagined such a fight going, a rogue doing something so idiotic was never even close to happening

[@clothar23]

@@Aerowarrier That Beholder has clearly never dealt with adventurers before. A veteran Beholder would have death beamed that rouge the second he snuck into a corner.

[@williamwontiam3166]

Honestly I can see a beholder having nightmares staring at this plan.

[@mrosskne]

11 eyes isn't enough

[@Raptorman0205]

"Barbarian?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Alright, you deal 30 points of damage"

[@rompevuevitos222]

Plot twist: The barbarian is not smart enough to roll dice so the DM rolls for him

[@ThePi314Man]

Basically how it goes

[@SirBreadJr]

It’s the barbarian that’s smart enough to play a barbarian

[@LsdRaccoon]

The barbarian has a whopping 3 intelligence

[@turma8eac]

Thats me

[@thingsareabouttogetgrusome5092]

Imagine being a beholder and one of the guys just runs into the corner, climbs along the wall and ceiling and sends you to another plane

[@ilancruz838]

Normal Tuesday

[@MetaMike100]

I mean, it's a Beholder so it probably considered that at least once in its life.

[@valinaladdams4498]

What I imagine is the Rogue, creepily crouching towards the corner, engulfed by shadows, climbing the walls like the fucking Grudge (Ju On), then start monkeying from the ceiling, becoming Sun Wukong and falling, face first, onto the, now, creeped out and terrified, Beholder. Poor thing 😂

[@wayneellis7297]

It be like laying in bed, seeing a cockroach on the ceiling, then teleporting to your backyard before you can freak out about it.

[@henriqueribeiro8167]

@@MetaMike100 That is why they are Paranoid.

[@Fireburst-kp4rm]

"High risk, High reward" "What did it cost?" "The campaign"

[@tzem2590]

come on you still can get out of astral plane

[@ryanlybarger2988]

There was no reward There was enough risk to make up for it though, don't worry ;)

[@hipopotamodata9932]

the reward was a good story

[@shieldgenerator7]

"Everything"

[@u.v.s.5583]

"At least we did not get eaten by a dragon..."

[@NyanDiamond]

“How are you even accomplishing this all in one turn” Me, arcane trickster, with Longstrider, mobility feat, and my ally gave me haste

[@t.estable3856]

The Rogue should have been a Tabaxi, climb speed + free Speed Boosts.

[@justabiscuit1794]

The flash build

[@andrewlentner]

Is Longstrider a feat?

[@henriquedelarosa5419]

@@t.estable3856 I have a Rogue/Fighter Tabaxi in a campaign i'm running and GOD, that cat can move

[@t.estable3856]

@@henriquedelarosa5419 Swashbuckler? Because they are hit and run demons.

[@majickman]

I love that the barbarian automatically does 30 damage by screaming.

[@JustSilverCh]

As someone playing a barbarian with reckless attack, yeah Im pretty sure that's how it works

[@austinvanderveer213]

I love how the bard automatically did nothing with vicious mockery. As someone who's played a barbarian with reckless attack, that seems about right yeah.

[@ClaireDuhLune]

@@austinvanderveer213 it should've been the bard casting vicious mockery and then joining the barbarian in screaming lol

[@goolabbolshevish1t651]

He is sly marbo's progenitor.

[@redriot-unbreakable9476]

@Vhok no he was screaming, with rage deals +30 damage, lmao

[@DarthSidian]

"Barbarian, what are you doing?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Raging, got it." As a Barbarian main, this is so accurate and I feel called out.

[@breeze6217]

As a fellow Barbarian main, I also feel called out.

[@cuckoobirb8526]

Heh

[@OriginalKasym]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Translation for those who don't speak Rage: I too feel called out my fellow barbaric companions.

[@CanyonF]

why would you "main" a class? this isn't smash bros lol

[@starpegasusgamer8561]

There’s people who have a favorite class and like to play with it and its flavors most of the time. You can be a “main” anything, really. It just comes down to the way you wanna have fun XD

[@kapitan19969838]

Well, the Rogue obviously has a lot on his mind. After all, he's playing a *inhales* : Half Asimar, Half kalashtar, Blood hunter, Artificier Wizard, With the Haunted One background and the Hollow One trait from the explorers guide to wildemount. And he is haunted by his own very being. He does not run from evil because of that haunting, but also he hates divine beings because all the gods sent him down after killing numerous mortals (he was basically a god before that, but that doesn't really matter all that much). He had divine powers so he hates all of them for locking him in that mortal coil. Also, he refuses to be a victim, so that all back and forth causes a lot of doubt in his mind. Which is why the only option he had for that Beholder was to unveil this Assassin's Creed, Bag of Holding, Portable Hole. He had no other choice.

[@KoyasuNoBara]

I get the reference, no need to explain, but it just occurred to me... I kinda like the idea of playing a former god? Like, not as an explanation for them being powerful, but just... backstory. They never get any of their powers back within the story (or at least, not without a bunch of really annoying restrictions). They just have to deal with once having all that power, and then suddenly not having it anymore. I guess I kinda wanna play a deconstruction of a stereotyped overly-powerful character.

[@richhobo1216]

@@KoyasuNoBara that would be an interesting character. I can imagine them running in head first into impossible situations because they forget that they are not a god anymore and can be killed by mortal beings

[@kapitan19969838]

@@KoyasuNoBara That's honestly an amazing idea! What race and class would You make this God to be?

[@FlatOnHisFace]

I did this. So, to answer Kapitan #'s question: Olsiri Etar was an Aasimar Cleric of Light. (Feel free to pick any domain you want; its your god.) He had the anthropologist background from Tomb of Annihilation, to reflect that he grew up among humans (though I doubt that was necessary). Since he was a god of light and gets two Light cantrips (one from race, one from domain), with permission, I rolled that into he continuously shoots beams of light from his eyes, bright to 60', dim beyond that, but only in the direction he is facing (while his eyes are open). This means he always sees well, but it is ass for stealth, and anyone can always know what he's looking at. But because he is a god, his cleric powers all come from him. He had to grow in power as a mortal to tap into the stronger powers of his divinity, so needed to level-up. He was a god, but was stripped of his godhood and sent to the Prime Material Plane, where he was born anew in the mortal frame of a human. Now, despite being "human," he was built as an Aasmiar, since that better reflected his divine heritage. His birth parents had three other kids prior and were freaked out by what Olsiri Etar was, but they raised him as well as they could and he had a happy childhood. Because an eternal god knows so much, and a mortal mind, especially a new one, cannot handle all that, he pretty much was mind-wiped, until he hit adolescence, when his memories came flooding back, but that took a toll. He knew all the mysteries of the multiverse at the same time, but time works different for mortals, so he made anachronistic remarks (perhaps inspired by the gods in Xena: Warrior Princess), and while he knew all that was and is yet to come, he could hardly keep any of it straight and I dump-statted intellect. He remembers that he was stripped of godhood but while he was being dressed down, he was so furious that he didn't pay much attention and he is supposed to learn a lesson while on the Prime Material, but he doesn't know what that lesson is. He spent five decades just upset and refusing to engage with the task, so he has this godly impressive build, but totally let himself go. His party mates would later liken him to Thor during Endgame, which is so appropriate. His physical abilities were no higher than +1 each. His wisdom and charisma were both +3. He took War Caster at level 4, as he wades into fights, slinging fireballs and smashing with his glowing mace, but a stat boost is just as good. Though he is salty for his predicament, he is a genuine force of good. He realized that he has a unique opportunity to directly build up a following while on the Prime Material, so that when his godhood is reinstated, he will have a strong devoted fan base. In his backstory, a fey creature enchanted and enslaved him for several years, which he figured out was because she was trying to prevent him from fulfilling his destiny, so he decided it must be important, and is now determined to figure out the lesson he was meant to learn. He joined an adventuring party to grow in power, help others, and complete his quest.

[@kapitan19969838]

@@FlatOnHisFace Wow . . . *slow impressed applause*

[@TotallyNotTheRedComet69]

*“NOW I NEED TO RETHINK MY WHOLE TURN!”* Fucking.... spot on.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

Oh we're thinking about our turns ahead of time. I thought I'd wait until its my turn and then decide my next course of action.

[@HeiressEllie]

" *TRUST ME IT MAKES SENSE IN **_MY_** HEAD* " is exactly me.

[@ultimomos5918]

Melee Classes- Hit bad guy Caster Classes- Solve the meaning of life after every turn

[@AirKIng74]

@@ultimomos5918 Archer classes: Wait, who's alive again?

[@FlyingDominion]

Dex paladin: SO MANY OBLIGATIONS!

[@NebulousArray]

the second the rogue went "hmm" i already felt attacked

[@joost9098]

You take 5d6 sneak damage.

[@gabrialsperka422]

I main wizard and *I* felt attacked 😂😂😂

[@MyPancakeMan]

It gave me PTSD flashbacks 🤣

[@arthismer4798]

This is true

[@devonm042690]

@@joost9098 I don't know about that... Wouldn't it be psychic damage? He said he _felt_ attacked.

[@christopherbloom5259]

"I'd like to attack the rogue" has been uttered countless a time

[@dragonbornwerewolf]

I've said it and I'm a ranger.😭😂

[@adrianj2666]

Too bad Rouge have few tricks prepared or such an occasion

[@kiwionpizza1336]

@@adrianj2666 Level 4 Rogue: *”CUZ IM TAKING THE MOBILE FEAT!”*

[@Forgenshoot]

My party's rogue lasted 3 IRL months. He tried to attack this allied NPC after all of us were out to town shopping, lost (definitely cheated because level 7 rogue no have 70 HP), then got killed by our paladin. Good times.

[@DGDDice]

yes my chaotic neutral kenku rogue has had that uttered at him many a time. he's still standing despite all the goody 2 shoes he is surrounded by especially that lawful good human paladin in my group who constantly wants to have me thrown in jail.

[@wdgaster2481]

Rogue: *Sends beholder and party to astral plane* Wizard: I cast plane shift to bring the party back to the material plane

[@Ethan13371]

Counter argument: roll a d100 for Astral Nonsense. You may be covered in the concept of 'that feeling when you bite a pickle and it's just a little softer than you expected'.

[@NullWes10]

@@Ethan13371 nat 100

[@conundrum60690]

If you have a level 13 wizard you can probably just kill the thing.

[@malkav0488]

Nah he would just cast fireball

[@Michael-bc3es]

Damn I only prepared that spell last session and I didn't use it so I prepared an upcast fireball instead

[@VexWerewolf]

"What are we doing, Barbarian?" "The same thing we do every turn, Fighter."

[@WexMajor82]

Try and conquer the world!

[@Pemshibro]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

[@OverlordZephyros]

🎶🎶🎵 They're Barbarian and The Fighter Yes, Barbarian and The Fighter One is a genius The other's insane. They're Melee personified Pretty much boring all the time They're Barbarian They're Barbarian and The Fighter, Fighter ,Fighter ,Fighter , Fighter, Fighter, Fighter, Fighter, Fighter. 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵

[@salmanmahyuddin8384]

why are we still here... just to (make our enemies) suffer?

[@hugofontes5708]

As a battlemaster, I was disappointed by this But then one day I went shopping for a bunch of tricky crap for shenanigans, learned to combo with the rogue and said "screw this, I want to climb the boss and unleash all my attacks" on full monster hunter mode

[@terrnoisrp8894]

“Is the beholder prone because it floating.” There has to be a DM who was asked this question before at least once

[@spooboncoolio1006]

Hovering creatures are unaffected by the prone Condition while flying

[@brandonhowell5096]

@@spooboncoolio1006 what if they get a wall of stone formed underneath them would they not be on the ground :p

[@Darklord-uo3re]

These are the types of questions I asked my DM. I also happened to be playing a Rogue/Wizard with a dash of Gunslinger. This was pathfinder, look it's still the same case here okay

[@JT_Lich]

Beholders are technically *immune* to the prone condition so I'm sorta confused

[@watchingvideosalot3960]

My eyes rolled back into my skull as I told him that flying creatures are prone when they are falling and hit the ground

[@rocketman2485]

If i had a copper piece for every time someone in my party said "I would like to attack the rogue" I would have enough to pay them back for what I stole from them.

[@dhark0n332]

I mean, it make sense, how is you sneak atacks in them?

[@tombowstead4720]

@@alexanderthompson7164 My other 2 party members fought over a flask of tainted holy water while I fought the boss by myself. I killed the boss by myself, and the flask was thrown at a wall. They were doing this about 30 ft. away from me.

[@Siberos.]

smart

[@ochicasillas6972]

lol im the one trying to attack the others

[@smileyvr4438]

The Barb screaming. The Bard trying his best to be useful, but being denied by the DM. The Cleric being a not team player. The Rogue doing funky stuff. This skit has it all.

[@ldalexandrite]

The cleric was being a team player though :(

[@Kylora2112]

@@ldalexandrite The cleric is every healer ever, though. "Yes, I play a dedicated healing build, but f*$# you for making me actually have to heal!"

[@ldalexandrite]

@@Kylora2112 …but the Cleric in the video _was_ pretty supportive other than f’ing up the Bard. Clerics do provide much needed utility, not just pure heals

[@skell6134]

​@@ldalexandriteThat beacon of hope sure gonna be pretty useful for rogue XD

[@CHIIIEEEEEEEEFFFFSSS]

The unsupportive support character is one of my favorite dnd tropes.

[@corporealghoul]

"Is the Beholder technically prone since it is hovering?" I died.

[@colewegner7576]

Beholders are immune to the prome condition anyway so its even funnier

[@AttilaVoices]

All those prone birds out in the wilderness... poor things...

[@luigicadorna8644]

Seraaphim Wild man going around fucking all the dogs.

[@colewegner7576]

@SEAN LOWRANCE did no one ask you out to prom?

[@TheWolfDawg]

"High risk, high reward!" "I would like to attack the rogue" I died laughing here XD

[@Stealth_Saber]

Saaaaaaame lmao

[@hometimemayhem928]

The risk is your DM using your antique sheet as his new ass wiping supply

[@ethanthamouse6695]

I mean I'd just look at the Rouge and stand up and clap as I would respect his valiant attempt

[@CunnyMuncher]

Wait, the diameter of the circle/sphere made by portable hole-ing a bag of holding is an explosion of 10x10x10, that proceeds to send anything inside it to god knows where. Would his ENTIRE party be next to the beholder? Maybe the barbarian, but I dunno.

[@andreidragostin]

ROLL A NEW CHARACTER

[@Fulou]

"How do you rule grappling, if you're just grappling arms." - I'm suddenly imagining this beholder as a buff geodude.

[@lucas23453]

This is a perfectly acceptable image.

[@definitelyacabbagefarmer5996]

Could you grapple his eyes?

[@Fulou]

@@definitelyacabbagefarmer5996 have you been watching utopia and the dreaded spoon?

[@definitelyacabbagefarmer5996]

@foulu I am an uncultured child I honestly have no idea what that is

[@ashtongiertz8728]

It made me think of a beholder that had 11 arms instead of 11 eyes

[@golfer435]

As a rogue, I am ashamed to say this is very accurate. So many mechanics that I *must* use.

[@techbeef]

To everyone else's detriment at the table.

[@golfer435]

@@techbeef I do try to at least be qui k about it

[@SomeGuyXD65]

Sneak attack + cunning action:hide go brrr

[@skell6134]

​@@SomeGuyXD65Sudden Strike+Dread ambusher

[@digge2210]

​@@techbeefwe never comply when some dumb fighter miss or some wizard is out of spells, we are all gears in a clocks

[@55566789ful]

you missed the oportunity to say "my jacket is made of....hide"

[@Aiumy91]

Oh please, can you explain this joke? I’m not english!

[@harinirajesh3838]

@@Aiumy91 He is *hiding* in the corner.. and his jacket is made of *hide*. It's a pun (though it probably doesn't translate well)

[@ajc1080]

@@Aiumy91 Wearing a leather hide jacket and claiming that it will help you hide. It's a deliciously bad pun. Topnotch.

[@Aiumy91]

@@harinirajesh3838 Thank you all, I didn't know that hide is a sinonym of leather! :D

[@demonzabrak]

@@Aiumy91 it’s closer to a synonym for “skin” not “leather.” Leather is always made from an animal hide, but not all animal hides make good leather. A bear skin rug is also just an animal hide, so hides sometimes also include feathers and fur.

[@malakai2046]

Let's be honest... any DM that lets a rogue have a bag of holding AND a portable hole knows what he's signing up for.

[@Erin-ks4jp]

The only worse combination is an artificer and a BoH and portable hole - because then I can automate the process. I really annoyed my DM by building the "Astral grenade". For 20 thousand gold, and a replicate magic item infusion you can utterly annihiliate an area. I say annoyed, it was that kind of DM annoyed, where they love it, but it's also extremely broken.

[@RydenDaniel]

@@Erin-ks4jp you could also just create two bag of holdings as the artificer, the rules doesn't prevent you from making the same item twice

[@andrewmorrison6043]

@@RydenDaniel actually i thought it did. If its on of your infusions (imbuements? I forget which is which) it says that you can only use one of each specific type at a time. ie: i can do the improved armor and the improved weapon infusions but not two improved armor infusions (sorry for not remembering the exact names of the infusions i just remember what they do)

[@RydenDaniel]

@@andrewmorrison6043 Replicate Magic Item explicitly says it can be used multiple times

[@Erin-ks4jp]

@@RydenDaniel I tried that, but DM disallowed it because it was a little too easy - which I think is fair.

[@manperson2347]

Unrealistic, a true Rouge player would complain about having to make an athletics check instead of acrobatics

[@zyibesixdouze4863]

Guilty

[@sneakysquirrel1990]

Kinda new dnd rogue player here. I've always had a hard time determining which is better to be proficient in but I feel acrobatic is better since its geared towards being nimble and dexterous

[@_bobsayshello]

Acrobatics if you're gonna move around the battlefield, athletics if you're gonna grapple/knock people over :D

[@arthurrosa9403]

@@_bobsayshello Anything that uses only body momentum is acrobatics. Athletic is anything that makes you exert force against something(including gravity). That's the simplest explanation I've come up with, and it solved all those problems on my campaings.

[@sneakysquirrel1990]

@@arthurrosa9403 athletic is a strength based check isn't it?

[@the1andonlySM]

As a bard, I confirm that we will always help any chaotic party member with their shenanigans.

[@11tw48]

"Is the killer whale technically prone because it's in water-" "Is the ground prone because it's flat-" "Okay so he's breakdancing right, what I'm hearing is that he's prone-"

[@ardenorcrush649]

"I cast Wish to change the planet's axis tilt, so everyone who was standing upright, now is prone - and vice versa".

[@futuza]

@@ardenorcrush649 That's some Obi-wan level of high ground.

[@AsoSnT]

@@ardenorcrush649 haha !

[@leyrua]

@@ardenorcrush649 How much XP do you get for killing _everyone on the planet?_

[@sylph8005]

That reminds me of this one time my group played the Quiet Year and there was a break dancing villain

[@moeflamelord]

As a cleric player, i can tell you why he was casting Beacon of Hope. He was betting the rogue would die

[@baturalpdurmaz9272]

Yeah... When you play a healer for too long you learn to not to believe your party especially the rouge

[@Gabo135790]

@@baturalpdurmaz9272 xDDDDD

[@darkmatter9643]

@@baturalpdurmaz9272I too do not believe in colours

[@Azoperoa]

@@baturalpdurmaz9272 As a new Life Domain Cleric main, I hope to one day achieve zero faith in my party

[@knightsurda]

As a rogue player, I commend you. For I most certainly will die as I run up to the beholder and attempt to stab it in the big eye.

[@FatalKitsune]

Cleric: Frantic shuffling through his 8,000 available spells I feel that.

[@capscarlett7859]

Then casts Healing Word, cos it's the only one that's any use.

[@agnidas5816]

@@capscarlett7859 casting healing spells in combat is usually the worst use of a turn strategically speaking. Even if they go unconscious - the best bet is to just slay the beast instead of causing a TPK by running around and making allies conscious. Maths...

[@galaxykitsune]

@@agnidas5816 Unless you're getting up like,, a heavy damage dealer like a wizard or sorcerer who has some extremely useful spells that could secure the win...?

[@Fallenangel_85]

@@agnidas5816 You don't need to run for healing word and it's a bonus action, so it's pretty viable to get someone back up.

[@grandmasterkurashi]

3.5 clerics have their entire spell list prepared at all times.

[@thefishgolder]

God just imagining all of this from the perspective of the beholder is fucking hilarious

[@tjcuevas1850]

lol I secont that brothah

[@A_Simple_Neurose]

11 angles of it too. A feast for the eyes.

[@baylorl53]

I like how the beholder just shot a laser at the bard and then just spent the rest of the time watching the rouge do a bunch of dumb sh*t before being sent to the astral plane

[@rompevuevitos222]

He went "Hold up, i gotta see this"

[@FlyingDominion]

*rogue

[@cymes82]

*slightly red bordering on pink

[@spiceyicey]

@@FlyingDominion they _could_ have been under the interpertation that the rogue was a tiefling, hence the rouge

[@sunshineunits6685]

hes tweeting about these crazy players hes about to eat.

[@krakios3950]

This is a great reminder that DMs should always remember that when something straight up isn't possible you can just say "No, that makes no sense no matter what you roll"

[@WildBluntHickok]

Also sometimes a nat 20 means "although your weak attack has no effect you have amused the BBEG enough for him to have the guards throw you out instead of kill you". A sort of "everything's coming up Millhouse" type of tiny victory instead of the failure that any other roll would've produced.

[@sinnerthesinful552]

The only thing I see here that could've been better is that the rogue could've warned the party to run away between turns, he's using his abilities and equipment correctly, asking the DM for permission before doing anything, he's not complaining nor whinning and he thought of a creative way to defeat the villain that's clearly too powerful for the group to fight it head on. Honestly if it wasn't for the warning thing I'd say this is the rogue SAVING the campaing

[@themilkman6969]

bards are immune to this, due to the fact that they are the most powerful

[@FerunaLutelou]

@@WildBluntHickok or you can just make the bad guy stop the combat and start laughing hysterically at the party member's epic fail like our DM did, giving the party an advantage, even if it's an embarrassing one.

[@HauntingSpectre]

@@sinnerthesinful552 And he wasn't just climbing up a flat wall. Technically it was a corner, and is climbable by pressing against both walls. I've done it and climbed up over 50 feet of building that way. Mind you, if you slip you are probably dead / going to the hospital depending on how high you get.

[@TheScaredLittleScholar]

“Trust me it makes sense in my brain” In my sessions, that’s the word spoken a few seconds before disaster

[@twilightsparkle75]

looks like the same thing happened here lmao

[@spritemon98]

Player: I have this glorious plan!! *rolls a nat 1* everything is going wrong!!

[@DutchHeathen]

Disaster *or* glory.. you can never know.

[@daro9582]

DM-“You’re in a room with flammable gas and every spark could egnite it” Sorcerer-“I’d like to cast fireball”

[@GloriousSquizoKing.]

@@spritemon98 as the player that usually makes the plans, you're spot on.

[@procrafter5000]

As a rogue currently: I only nick useless enchanted stuff, like my sword that has 1/3 accuracy loss but glows near rocks

[@wesleywyndam-pryce5305]

why would that even exist? sounds like a fun campaign

[@theorangegremlin334]

AH HELL YA FLORISSANT SWORD

[@Sky-CladObserver]

It sounds like the sword from Lord of the Rings, but whoever was describing it mumbled when they said "orcs" and it sounded like "rocks".

[@justicedemocrat9357]

Just glue a rock to the sword and you've got yourself a sweet flashlight.

[@crazyseth13]

To be honest the Cleric Casting Beacon Of Hope makes perfect sense because he most likely expects the rogue to fall to his death

[@elithegreat5590]

Ah, a cleric.

[@PollyTicallycorrect]

*Rogue

[@crazyseth13]

Wow come back almost a year later. To see this comment with so many likes. Also fixed the spelling error just for the man above. Your Welcome

[@some1fromthedark]

@@crazyseth13 *You're

[@boogaethje]

@@some1fromthedark 😂😂😂

[@TraskTrojanek]

"Is the beholder technically prone because it's hovering?" is the most rogue thing ever I have advantage right? Sneak attack advantage prone double damage crit?

[@legendgames128]

Guilty of this. Sorry, Jesse.

[@turinmormegil7715]

Dark vision?

[@hamsterfromabove8905]

Unfortunately for the rogue not only does hovering not count as prone. But also the beholder statblock specifically lists prone as a condition that it's immune to.

[@thecatthatgotaway]

@@hamsterfromabove8905 atleast your moms statblock allows prone GOTTEM LMAO

[@Cyanide2112]

As a rogue, I can confirm this is completely accurate.

[@lumin6464]

dude I think I've been playing the wrong classes, I try and do this kind of crap as a wizards and sorcerers

[@anonymoushr88]

@@lumin6464 And that's why I play an arcane trickster(at least in pathfinder) The amount of extra shenanigans I can pull with magic on top of ridiculous stealth and sleight of hand is wonderous.

[@michaelblosenhauer9887]

3.5 disclaimer We have a monk player in our group that does similar things. I use to make fun of him until I made a monk-like fighter ogue\sorcerer.

[@tomfromtartu9706]

​@@lumin6464 I once played an elven wizard in a limited-resources and 3.0 grim'n'gritty setting, and went to great lengths to hide the fact that he was a wizard. DM liked the idea and allowed it to be. The other players thought for quite some time, that I was a warrior class, wondering if i was a figter or a barbarian. Verbal and somatic parts of spells were more subtle and to people with untrained spellcraft did not autodetect casting. Also nobody besides me spoke elvish, so i could use that for casting, to further avoid detection. The tradeoff was, that the foes also could mask their casters more easily if using subtle spells. I avoided evocation and other flashy stuff, using more subtle spells like true strike, that actually benefitted in GnG mechanics, giving me plenty of critical strikes in combat. Once we acessed more decent weapons and armor I did take 1 level of fighter to get skills with martial weapons and armor and continued to cast with spell failure chance.

[@drollfurball2863]

We certainly DO try to get ourselves into the most amounts of trouble....

[@Expression2.0]

“I would like to attack the rogue” that got me laughing for a minute straight

[@adamloga3788]

Given the voices, I think that was the bard.

[@Bucko99]

"Is the beholder technically prone because he's hovering?" That. That got me.

[@herbertkraft7379]

Beholder condition immunities: Prone

[@danielcastillo591]

@@herbertkraft7379 Is he immune because he's _constantly_ prone and you can't get any prone-er?

[@Mepphy99]

@@danielcastillo591 my DM told me "no fuck you "

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

@@danielcastillo591 Why would the question be asked in the first place considering it’s a floating ball of eyes

[@Spiggo97]

@@rynemcgriffin1752 hmm yes, seems prone-y to me

[@master0fthearts894]

Ironically the best player in the game was the barbarian, and all the guy did was yell: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“ The entire game.

[@UltimaOmega777]

Yelled AAAAAAAAAAAAA- and dealt 30 points of damage. Truly dependable.

[@VortexTalon]

as a cleric running with a totem barbarian in my party who did almost halved a big bad demon in a single round at lvl 3 and tanked a T'rex not having increased their health pool since 3 at lvl 5 practically solo tanking every encounter like it was nothing and hitting harder than truck, I can attest, they be mighty thicc and too stronk.

[@DrakeCaliburn]

I once used Rage Beyond Death in three combat encounters in one dungeon (we spent like a week in-game in there), and I pushed the DC to 25 each time. I was literally too angry to die.

[@cageybee7221]

if they had a shepard druid cast unicorn spirit totem and cast healing spells on the lowest hp characters the whole party would struggle to go below half health...

[@sirjamsession8179]

That campaign isn't ruined at all. Astral campaign with a beholder sounds like a great next session.

[@canadiangopnik7007]

Plot twist, the beholder’s goal was to enter the astral plane, so as thanks he accompanies the party whenever they’re in the astral plane, like a weird power up

[@volbla]

Imagine having a pet beholder.

[@josiebianchi3481]

he's their ship

[@TonkarzOfSolSystem]

"Unprepared travellers who door to the Astral Plane can find themselves in the middle of an infinite nowhere. Neither starvation nor age will take them, so they must wait for an eternity unless they have some means of calling for aid (or killing themselves)."

[@ratchit8122]

@@canadiangopnik7007 but don't beholders hate everyone but themselves? I understand this is a joke, but I doubt he'd do that.

[@stuartlittledrowning4965]

You forgot the part where the rogue steals from the party and the whole party has to pretend they don't notice in character while passive aggressively punishing the rogue anyway.

[@tabemono7398]

For that's reason i love virtual games my player can make their dice roll in secret so the other member dont know and that's funny. Wizard: i use my necklace of fireball Me: You dont have necklace of fireball and the rogue at his side who cry: FIREBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL

[@Yuni-is-Schrodingers-Fox]

​@@tabemono7398 You do not sound like a very pleasant person to play with

[@Torma25]

@@Yuni-is-Schrodingers-Fox yeah the "my character barely knows you guys so he's just gonna steal from you" and the "it makes no sense for my character to tell the party what he found in this chest that only he could unlock" people are unbearable assholes at best. It's a fucking game dude. A game that ends if people die. A game where a signle bad decision can end an entire party. And you just have an item in your inventory that would have helped. Except you're not even attuned to it because you got it two sessions (over a month irl time) ago and you literally just forgot. Now the game's over, and everybody's characters are just fucking dead. But well done, you "roleplayed".

[@theangrypotato2.031]

@@Yuni-is-Schrodingers-Foxid be fine playing with them, some of you guys really need to learn rolling with the punches always makes for a better, more fun story.

[@drewthelovable6809]

The tree most cursed words in all of D&D “Can I try?”

[@ThorsShadow]

Tbh, when your DM tells you "You can try"...that's equally as cursed.

[@malaineeward5249]

I DMed for my little siblings and my sister wanted to do something involving a roped arrow and changing it's trajectory with another arrow (I don't remember the end goal or if there were other moving parts...) I didn't want to discourage creative play, but I made her roll for every step.

[@perilousloki4712]

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

[@kitten-inside]

Either you can handle the chaos, or you are in the wrong room, my friend.

[@nickanderson412]

Followed closely by "Are you sure?"

[@Reishadowen]

"Okay Cleric, that ends your turn. Barbarian, what are you doing?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" "Raging, gotcha."

[@VItarcheg]

Isn't raging a bonus action? He should've done something else as well

[@MrStevum]

@@VItarcheg issa joke

[@ARockyRock]

@@VItarcheg I mean, he did do 30 points of damage the second time, I guess we can assume he used his turn for movement or something idk

[@FlatOnHisFace]

His turn was fast because he only does one thing: Arrghh!

[@draxter111]

🤣🤣🤣 Omg that moment got me laughing SO hard!

[@Snipfragueur]

How rogues destroy campaigns: "I run away and let all my comrades to die a horrible death."

[@kamencraftbrasil4367]

Which is the opposite of what happened her, apparently the rogue wanted to sacrifice himself to get rid of the beholder but the dm got angry and instead of verifying who was within the radius of the portal he just said "everyone is screwed", and the party decided to kill the rogue for that. Honestly if it wasn't a joke the whole thing would sound toxic.

[@icouldntthinkofagooduserna6658]

Meanwhile one of my rogue: dies to a double crit and double crit fail

[@littlespacesuit]

Accurate. In my very first combat situation as a rogue, I hid in a corner and passed a turn waiting to see if the NPCs would kill my comrades. Then I shot at the NPCs from the safety of my corner, provided I didn't have to expose myself to any danger while I did it.

[@Wampao]

So these rogues are users of the Joestar secret technique

[@bombkangaroo]

That actually sums up my first game of DnD that I played with my older brother and younger sister back when I was six.

[@Astro_Blue102]

DM: You see a Crown Rogue(Me): I steal it DM: Ok roll for it Rogue(Me): D20 DM: *Under Their Breath* Well there goes the plot Rogue(Me): *Muttering* Yes

[@lpsfoxstar8454]

Love this, last game we avoided all three combats including the big boss fight we were building up to for like three sessions due to just our god tier brains and me, the rogue bypassed half the dungeon by picking an unpickable lock with my nat 20

[@kobieharrison8931]

@@lpsfoxstar8454 i managed to do something similar; my party had just gotten captured by the xanathar guild in the dungron of the mad mage, and we were stuck in a cell. Now everyone else was either planning (everyone bar 1) or waiting (the one who wasnt planning, which, might i add, is a wizard). So their all doing their thing, i pick up a twig i found in the corner, and just innocently ask to pick the lock, i knew there was no chance this was gonna work, but the dm allowed it; nat 20. Everyone went nuts and my dm broke, along with the wizard. So while i was leaving the cage the wizard asks me: Wizard: "where are you going??????" Me: "out of the cage" Wizard: "but where are you planning to go?????????" Me: "away from here??" Was the greatest thing to happen up until then

[@lucykitsune4619]

Why steal it, that's boring. Replace it with a crown looking the same that the artificer made that makes fart noises in random intervals

[@nathanthom8176]

Did you ever find what the roll you were asked to make was for? I mean was the roll to avoid being seen or to avoid setting off a trap or something else. To me it seems that if the DM wanted that Crown to stay put then a few simple steps could have made that the case.

[@gastonfourt5363]

@@lpsfoxstar8454 "You get very close to picking the lock that it's practically unlocked. However, a sudden force crunches on the space within the keyhole, you retract your thieve's tool, sparing it from the grasp of the lock. The gears and pins shuffle within the mechanism and the clear pathway for unlocking the lock creates a cataclysm, reordering the functions of the lock as it furthers its complexity more and more until it reaches stability within the small lock. The wizard gleens at the aftermath of the events that have just transpired." Wizard: "Very interesting... you seem to have quite a remarkable skill, young one..." "He lifts his fingers and you fly back with shackles appearing on your hands and fingers" Wizard: "Let me commend your efforts with a prison more befitting of your splendor"

[@Ronasaur]

Honestly the worst thing Ive experienced with a rogue in the party was the DM raising the enemies perception modifiers specifically to counter him. My poor monk never snuck again. Mainly cause he couldnt make the DC. And was then shot by alotta archers. Rip Sir Emrick throat puncher. You shall be missed

[@goncalocarneiro3043]

Town Guards be like: "So the new government initiative for giving everyone affordable nightseeing glasses tailored for each one of us as well as hearing apparatus was pretty dope. Also coffee, pretty good."

[@cuckoobirb8526]

*Sad recorder music*

[@SuperGoose42]

My first DM once modified the dimensions of a room right before we got there specifically so that my simple plan wouldn't work As a note, this was my first campaign, party of 10, DM who hadn't played since 2nd edition (we were playing 5th) All I wanted to do was cast silence on the spellcaster 😭

[@SneezyShadow]

That's a dick move on the dm to do that.

[@horserage]

@@SneezyShadow I agree, this is not a rogue problem, this is a DM problem.

[@admiralpotato1809]

The only thing wrong is the rogue being on the end of the initiative

[@rompevuevitos222]

Remember when my -1 dex paladin ended on top of 4 other players and the ranger with the alert feat ended at the bottom

[@FlyingDominion]

@@rompevuevitos222 at least the ranger wasn't surprised.

[@rompevuevitos222]

@@FlyingDominion Yep, he just sighed

[@hayleydragon2868]

Our rogue went last this past campaign cuz he rolled a 1 for initiative. It happens...

[@hayleydragon2868]

@@whywasacornnamedafteracorn7613 he critically failed on his roll

[@scribese7en]

For some reason, the part I can't survive is *_"The Prophecy..."_*

[@tylerg.9418]

But you survived the pfhor?

[@Vassilinia]

"The Beholder.... is sent to the ASTRAL PLANE.... ........... along with everybody in the room." And that's where I lost it.

[@EvilPaladin11]

@@Vassilinia Realistically, the DM should have had the other party members roll their DEX save, since that scenario allows a save. Then again, that wouldn't be as entertaining.

[@EvilPaladin11]

@@tylerg.9418 Hell yeah! Fellow fan of Bungie's Marathon! *holds hand up for high five*

[@EvilPaladin11]

After everything that Durandal threw you into, it was an utterance of two words that killed you? .....Remembering the vacuum level in the first Marathon makes me realize that the human weapons shouldn't have worked in the portion where Master Chief was outside of the station, in Halo 2.

[@Scream_Lord]

DM: The Beholder hovers over the party, it's eleven eyes glaring at each of you as it prepares its abominable arcane abilities. Roll initiative! Bard: I cast Bardic Inspiration. Cleric: I take cover and prepare Healing Hands Barbarian: AAAAAAAAAAAA- Rouge: I create a singularity and suck us all into the infinite void.

[@bismuth2966]

My favorite part is that the rogue could have done the bag thing immediately there was no reason to climb the wall and gymnastics on top of it

[@ESparkAster]

@@bismuth2966 Yes there was you just don't understand the complex machinations of that Rogue's brain.

[@imapastaboy7311]

"I would like to attack the rouge." "Roll for attack." "Nat 20." "The rouge gets fucking murdered by your gutair."

[@3ternalHours]

It's spelled fucking ROGUE

[@someguy198]

@@3ternalHours Oh you Rouge.

[@Vencidious]

@@someguy198 lol

[@ZiddersRooFurry]

@@3ternalHours And now you know vicious mockery.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

@@3ternalHours and guitar but I actually prefer GUT-AIR.

[@WhilandsBacklog]

"Trust me: it makes sense in my brain." Advantage on wisdom and death saving throws, AND maximum HP from any healing on a guy falling toward a giant mouth with too many mind-magic-laser eyes. I don't play cleric, but that makes a lot of sense in my brain, too.

[@evannibbe9375]

One problem is that if you are brought to 0 by disintegration, you don’t get Death saves.

[@MarcusDarkstar]

@@evannibbe9375 Disintegration isnt the only weapon in the Beholder's Arsenal. It also has death beams (forget the official name for them) that induce instant death if you fail their throws. Not to mention max hp from healing is always needed when you get beams that nearly destroy all of a characters health like what happened to the bard.

[@zackfiat607]

@@MarcusDarkstar power word kill?

[@devonm042690]

@@MarcusDarkstar The death ray doesn't cause instant death. It causes death rather than incapacitation if its 55 damage reduces a target creature's HP to 0.

[@MelaLabelle]

Bard: "I'd like to cast a spell!" DM: *Look of knowing.* Bard: ....."Vicious Mockery" DM: *Pure fudge off face.* NEXT TURN

[@IronGiant2790]

As I once played a bard, I felt that. XD

[@Kruezoraxe]

​@@IronGiant2790 Bards are my favorite class. I usually avoid picking vicious mockery and it usually makes for a much more fun character.

[@nem0men_901]

DM'd a pretty fun game yesterday. The players were relatively inexperienced, but they had played their classes before and were supposed to know how said classes function Our level 10 bard had been doing just two things throughout the whole session - attacking with his rapier and casting vicious mockery. At some point he said there was nothing else he *could* do And when I mentioned bardic inspiration, he had to ask me what it was So that was probably my first time seeing a bard played like a champion fighter

[@genelearnsenglish4242]

@@nem0men_901 Does College of Sword not remove Bardic Inspiration?

[@nem0men_901]

@@genelearnsenglish4242 Adds another use for it, as far as I understand. Also he was a college of lore bard

[@bernardo.bridon]

"OH GREAT NOW I HAVE TO RETHINK MY WHOLE TURN" - Cleric I feel that in my soul

[@StarlitNova12]

Seriously the fighter does something stupid and then instead of being able to assist the warlock who just retreated so I could heal them I have to rush over and take damage from opportunity attacks to revive them while the warlock continues to bleed out

[@sirreginaldfishingtonxvii6149]

Alternate title: Corona Jacob is slowly going insane as he can only play D&D with himself.

[@Cultureghost]

DM: “Roll stealth!” Rogue: *pulls out maracas*

[@lpsfoxstar8454]

DM: "Roll stealth!" Me, the rogue: ok so that's a nat 13 plus my dex, prof bonus and expertiese doubling that plus last sessions level up aaand that's 13 plus 12 makes 25 fuck your surprise attack bye bitch *falls gracefully into bush never to be seen again"

[@lucykitsune4619]

Me: Do I have to, or do we at this point just assume a 23 succeeds?

[@thetarr2]

"I want to grab the beholder" "i pull out my bag of holding" dont

[@spartanclucky884]

My exact reaction. I was like Don't you fucking dare!. Then he pulled out the 'Portable Hole'. After he said "You can't use two items in one turn" I was like. Thank god, but no... FUCKING FAST HANDS.

[@Voldrim359]

@@spartanclucky884 That was actually a one risky move... They can send the beholder to the astral plane, but is one risky move...

[@bennythemonk]

Along with the entire party.

[@skell6134]

@@bennythemonk Thats just sad part of it,in theory plan been perfect

[@sinnerthesinful552]

@@skell6134 yeah, he could've warned everyone to run away a turn before, that would've been perfect

[@paj5529]

The Cleric cast Beacon of Hope so that when the Rogues plan inevitably backfired he'd be able to survive, then he could heal the Rogue as much as possible I think

[@averageenjoyer2249]

Yup, that is the right answer.

[@baconsir1159]

"...along with everybody in the room." We were on the verge of greatness. We were this close.

[@kamencraftbrasil4367]

I am surprised that the party was so closed togheter since the radius of the portal to the astral plane is just 10 feet, I mean if you are fighting a beholder you would expect the party to at least move around a lot depending on the use of the anti magic cone.

[@thehiddenninja3428]

I was expecting just the beholder and the rogue being transported. And maybe hte barbarian since he's in melee range

[@skell6134]

@@thehiddenninja3428 for sure barbarian too

[@petrusspinelli6661]

So, Rogue, what are you doing? _* internet explorer noises *_

[@janelantestaverde2018]

Wait.... What sound does the internet explorer make??

[@orindark]

@@janelantestaverde2018 que fax machine

[@Lucaccino17]

@@janelantestaverde2018 he's thinking of dial-up internet

[@alejandrorivas4585]

@@janelantestaverde2018 kzbin.info/www/bejne/bZ-0Y6Kfi9Z-ftk

[@janelantestaverde2018]

@@alejandrorivas4585 That's Windows XP, not internet explorer...

[@ViveeFox]

"You're falling, what do you have to possibly consider?!" I feel called out.

[@michaelmcgee5478]

My fly speed

[@Koryser2711]

"that doesn't mean you can climb flat surfaces" "Can i try?" Im laughing so much

[@PantherFox]

the bard dejectedly saying 'vicious mockery...' destroyed me

[@rowanash5378]

Love the cleric being portrayed as "That guy who takes 5 minutes per turn." as well as the Barbarian just going "The prophecy." In the comically deep voice.

[@kpsychopath]

What? No, that's litterly the opposite of what's being shown in the video, the cleric is the one who prepares his action ahead of time to specficly not take up that much time. It is the rogue who takes 5 minutes because he keeps asking stupid questions that dances around what he actually wants to do

[@chrisflanagan7564]

@@kpsychopath You have to ask questions about the nature of the DM's world. My current Ridiculous Character is a Wild Elf Zealot Barbarian Rogue... I spend the time everyone else is taking their go thinking of what I'll do next round, and change as the situation changes... but then it's my turn again, and often it's better to ask for a ruling before you declare your action. Like "Hey, does Fast Hands work with drinking potions? (Some GMs will say sure, others will say "NO! GOD NO! MY GAME BALANCE* AIE! AIE!") Knowing if you can drink that potion and get an action might totally change what you can do that round. If you don't ask and say something like: "If I can drink a potion of greater healing as a bonus action, then I will move, without declaring a withdraw action, provoke AoO from all these guys... declare an attack action, and try to shove these two, one with each attack, which will open a safe corridor for the wizard to move down here without taking any AoOs. and if I take too much damage I'll bonus action Fast Hands drink a potion of g.healing. BUT if I can't bonus action drink a potion, then I'll use cunning action withdraw, to get up over here and throw these lightning javelins at the umber hulks." ... No one wants to hear that. It's much better to say "eh, remind me, what's the ruling here on the Fast Hands Potion thing?" and if they say No Fast Pots, you can just say "OK, I go here, dash here, throw the javelin at Old Squiggle Eyes the Umber Hulk from outside his confusion gaze area." Wizards prepare spells a head of time, Rogues improvise gambits live on the night.

[@haven600]

Only low int/wis character blindly believe prophecies

[@dominickdibart12]

This isn’t a meme and I hope somehow Jacob gets to see this. This genuinely the best acted, written, and shot live action skit I’ve seen on this channel

[@Xenibalt]

i would give that a like, sure why not, jacob is awesome

[@dylanraub2263]

Rogue: *Banging a drum, while prone, in the center of an auditorium full of people* "I would like to sneak out of the auditorium while everyone is watching me" DM: Roll Stealth at quadruple disadvantage Rogue: "47"

[@lethalbursts2869]

“I’m going to take to pants of the king” “Wha-“ “19 and with my Sleight of hand I got a 37!”

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

" *sigh* You steal his pants, and the pants of at least one multiverse version of himself. Roll a D10, we'll see how many pants you get."

[@JT_Lich]

Bubba's Big Blast I got a 7

[@avatarmufasa3628]

I would say you fail. too hard a check

[@Nesto_]

Great, you stole his pants without anyone noticing until they realized the king isn’t wearing pants and there’s some guy standing next to his throne holding them.

[@Zulk_RS]

"Oh! Nice roll mate. Good job. Unfortunately stealing the pants off the king while he was talking to you, in a room full of people that can see you, in broad daylight is a near impossible task. DC was 40. I hope you have a really good Persuasion or Deception skill. You're going to need it to talk yourself out of getting beaten to a pulp."

[@HIIMROSS777]

When you hear that your friend is playing a swashbuckler.

[@Tobi1Kanobi93]

Or inquisitor

[@sir.tiddlerumpus3424]

As a swashbuckler a can say my DM Hates me

[@HIIMROSS777]

Imagine being rogue couldn't be me

[@johnp.wintergreen5712]

🥰 Swashbuckler is the best

[@FreakySteve919]

I feel personally attacked

[@blacklion8307]

"It makes sense if my brain" is also a DM quote.

[@JT_Lich]

I've said that to myself many times

[@emptylibrito6787]

I love how the barbarian is the only one basically playing the game at that point

[@blu_laza]

" IM GONNA CAST CHARM MONSTER" *dice roll* "IM GONNA ROLE A 25 WISDOM SAVE" "oh you're just the greatest. Fucking killed me

[@OhMercyMe]

i feel like this is less about rogues destroying campaigns and more "why the thief archetype is totally cool guys trust me its great try it"

[@devilsadvocate6381]

Yeah I fully expected him to be **sigh**...another Assassin...BUT he wasn't! He was a Thief and I was like "yes, my brethren"

[@janelantestaverde2018]

If anything, the video did not convince me that thieves are cool :,D

[@crushcommando8637]

I played an assassin once, dear god the subclass felt awful; never again lol. Thief just seems overall best

[@blakebrown3888]

thief rogue is great. Am playing a kobold thief rogue. Though i feel call it the Dungeoneer or Adventurer or Delver rogue would have been more accurate

[@thecookiemeister5374]

What’s wrong with the thief archetype? There have been many times where i saved my entire party purely because i was a thief

[@Gottaculat]

Rogue: "Lemme try somethin' here..." Beholder: "This I gotta behold..."

[@TheRABIDdude]

Hahahaha X'D

[@funnyvideoguy3216]

AAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

[@RemGremlin]

This man single-handedly inspired me to play D&D with my friends, I have zero regrets.

[@legendgames128]

Welcome to the world of DnD!

[@davidshelly9142]

I wish, my party's rogue just steals everything not nailed down and gets upset when I tell them they can't pickpocket the lord in clear view of everyone.

[@capivaraorelhuda5868]

I feel your pain. So so much

[@nairocamilo]

And if you tell them they can, but they will have to deal with the consequences, it just becomes Murder Hobo Simulator

[@capivaraorelhuda5868]

True. It's incredibly annoying when the entire party is working towards a quest given by an npc and the rogue ruins it by stealing from the guy's stuff or trying to.

[@fisharepeopletoo9653]

Just have some lawmen show up if its a lawful party that wouldn't be likely to attack innocent lawmen, or have some op bounty hunters show up for the party that will. Have them arrest the rogue or focus everything into killing him, as you say there are consequences to actions, and not all of them need to be instant.

[@user-ux4gu2lh8c]

@@fisharepeopletoo9653 Having op bounty hunters seems less like an in world complication and more like out of character punishment to that person. But yeah I haven’t had to deal with a real problem player before so I can imagine eventually you have no choice

[@uns33nbois81]

when the barbarian speaks a full sentence on your turn means this is something major

[@arthurrosa9403]

When low int characters say meaningfull complicated stuff in my party, they faint.

[@ndt_dynamite2247]

4:48 "It was a calculated risk. But damn I'm bad at math."

[@Kartoffelkamm]

Rogue: "I'm doing 1000 calculations per second, and they're all wrong!"

[@Foul_Mouth]

I love how Jacob gives each player and the DM their own personality.

[@malthungaming3466]

"High risk, High Reward" "I would like to attack the rogue." Honestly . . . I'd have the *exact* same reaction. Side with the Beholder just long enough to end the rogue who thought THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA!

[@robrib2682]

Who knows, he might just let you out of the astral plane just so you leave him alone. Seeing as your friend did that and all.

[@KirbyUber]

I just loved the Rogue's "OH NOES!" Face after his party attacked him XD

[@skell6134]

@@robrib2682 Does beholder breathing ? Sorry,not much knowing about DnD creatures,lol

[@Favar1]

I thought the video was goign to be: "I try to steal the crown off the totally friendly king who just wanted ot send us to a mission because thats what my character would do"

[@Emrod82]

That was the prequel. The beholder was guarding the crown.

[@anonymoushr88]

That's the shit I pull with my arcane trickster. Even pickpocketed a random leprechaun that was drawn to magic stone with a bunch of other magical creatures and fey. Got a nifty gem from his pouch.

[@vikingphoenix8578]

When the DM gives a puzzle to the players. Five hours later when they still haven't cracked it. DM: it made sense in my brain.

[@Limrasson]

I was running Lost Mines of Phandelver. So the final dungeon has a book the players can notice that's supposed to hold a map to a dungeon you design. But instead I gave them a puzzle which pointed them to an entire homebrew campaign. First they were excited then they were baffled. It took them so much time one player had time to re-develop testicular cancer, go to chemo and fight off the tumor then come back to the puzzle to try and solve it as a mental-healing project. And I don't think they completely solved it yet and now we are introducing new characters into the realm with a campaign that's about bats carrying an infectious disease in an island ruled by an incompetent ruler populated by unreasonable people, because the rogue in the PHandelver campaign decided to oust the mayor, go into politics and retire from adventuring.

[@garuelx8627]

There was this pretty complex puzzle a dm threw at us which involved statues of historical figures oddly placed on a checkerboard floor. It took us a ridiculous amount of time to realize it was a chess puzzle and the statues of people each have ranks similar to chess pieces provided by a history check. Stepping on a space where a piece can strike in chess deals idk, lighning or force damage; but there is one space where all the pieces could strike. We somehow figured out stepping on that space teleports a player to the chamber where the treasure we were looking for was.

[@wickederebus]

@@garuelx8627 stealing that.

[@7maGic094]

As a rouge, I can confirm that we do the most gimiky things just to mess with the campaign

[@techbeef]

And that's why DMs ban the class.

[@serathaevistille995]

'I would like to attack the Rogue.' I've never played D&D, but I feel like this is how every session should end.

[@garuelx8627]

It's also great against murderhobo players hiding being their chaotic neutral alignments.

[@ZiddersRooFurry]

Congratulations-you're already a seasoned tabletop gamer.

[@BigDaddyGAO]

Hide is to see if the enemy to lose track of the rogue while they’re engaged in the heat of battle. It’s not as easy to pay attention to a dark corner when the screaming barbarian is trying to AXE you a question... with his axe.

[@vieuxdindon135]

Not the point if you are a DM struggling with lvl3+ party's abilities. Which is, i think the entire point of this channel.

[@BimpytheWimpyShrimpy]

It _is_ easy when you're an eternally paranoid beholder, with 11 autonomous super-eyes, facing off against 4 scrubs in a plain room...

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@BimpytheWimpyShrimpy for real though, what kinda DM lets the Rogue exist in a plain room?

[@skylersilvers4839]

I play a cleric, and I fully agree with him about wasting a spell on the rouge

[@Randomnumbers-153]

Bard

[@redholm]

Yea. The Bard can heal himself.

[@OwenOfElliott]

It's spelled rogue, rouge is french for red

[@bensagnella757]

I'm playing a cleric right now any tips? It's a 5th lvl grave domain if that helps

[@GIANT406]

@@bensagnella757 Play the character, not the class.

[@imrmebs]

Our first session with a new (and diverse) group went something similar to this and now we’re restarting with 6 chaotic evil rogues and i’m never playing with them again.

[@rogue997b]

That's utter anarchy even I would be no start over.

[@DaemonWulf7]

6 chaotic evil rogues is not a campaign, its a meandering walk through a particularly tortuous region of hell

[@MultioccularGolem]

The way he said Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I felt that.

[@scolack123]

Hahaha okay yours got me because i totally slow scrolled your comment hearing his voice and your ending comment got a good chuckle

[@PeakDnD]

DM: "Barbarian, what are you doing...?" Barbarian: *INCOHERENT SCREAMING* Me:...*slow clap*

[@xwordsinmymindx]

"I'm gonna cast charm monster!" "I'm gonna roll a 25 wisdom save"

[@murlocmaster6192]

Literally me when I try to cast charm on a advanced mindflyer

[@Axetwin]

The only thing missing from that was the DM, never breaking eye contact with the Bard after rolling and saying "it saves".

[@donniedolittle3992]

Oh your just the greatest

[@michaelpapadopoulos3756]

This is just like my last session in the campaign I am dm'ing (this Friday will be the final session finally). The party consists of a Dragonborn Paladin, a High elf Wizard (necromancer) a human bard, and a human rogue (who wanted a custom bounty hunter specialty). The goal is to infiltrate the palace and get into the throne room to confront the regent who they think is the bad guy. The agreed plan was to get within the outer walls by going through the sewer and then the bard and the wizard would use Dimension door to teleport the party inside. However it ended up going something like this: Rogue: I'm going to climb up first and scout around. Paladin/Wizard: OK Bard (who is a rogue multiclass and has expertise in stealth and access to pass without trace): gets ignored (Like they pretty much had been the whole time they were with the party) Rogue climbs out of the sewer and I advise the side of the palace closest to them has a door leading to the barracks. Rogue: I use my crowbar to jam the door shut. DM: Not a problem (since it does not affect the plan) Rogue: I'm now going to go round the side to see if there is another door. Goes round to the front of the palace where two guards are stationed. DM: You see two guards outside the front gate. They also see you. Rogue: I stealth. rolls a 22 Guards roll a nat 20 and and the other a 18 with their boost to perception they can still see him. Rogue:(as the guards approach him) I reach into my belt (magic item that gives a random item: caltrops, potion of oil that can use used like a grease spell or a black egg like what ninjas use) gets the caltrops and drops them on the ground (basically pausing the game like Skyrim while he searches through his inventory) Guards: Step over the caltrops Rogue: I jump onto the wall to get away Guards go to pull him off the wall Rogue: I pull my legs up out of the way (fails the roll gets pulled down) Guards try to wrestle him to the ground Rogue: I pull out my wolf carving (another item I gave him that summons a wolf companion. I gave him this because he was griping out only being able to use his sneak attack if the paladin was within 5ft of him. During combat the rogue likes to rush straight at the biggest boss character and try to go one on one while the paladin is trying to tank/heal) DM: make a sleight of hand check Rogue: fails roll Guards knock the carving out of his hand. At this point the Bard figures something is up and uses Disguise self to look like a guard captain and creeps up to the scuffle. Rogue: still trying to fight the guards while being pinned to the ground. Bard: sneaks up behind the guards and tries to knock them on the head with her rapier. Rogue: interrupts the bard's action to continue trying to break free and fails. Bard: Finally succeeds on the roll to knock the guards out. Rogue: Do I recognize this guard captain from my days as a soldier. DM: History check. Rogue rolls a 9. DM: You do not. Rogue: I go to attack the guard captain. Paladin and Wizard arrive. Bard drops the disguise self before the Rogue can attack. Wizard takes hold of the Paladin and dimension doors into the castle. Bard grabs hold of the rogue somewhat annoyed at the rogue for almost giving the game away and trying to stab her and dimension doors. Rogue: (as they teleport) Dunno what's her problem.

[@JThom529]

Ha

[@sirareus]

This is an insultingly accurate depiction of how I played my last rogue. Well done.

[@weasel003gaming7]

Please tell me that includes the Bag of Holding - Portable Hole trick?

[@Dragonslayer-js1sq]

the moment he said "CAn i tRy" is the moment i knew the campaign was done for

[@huntercasey1995]

Fair enough. My DM once set up a giant "boss fight" at the end of a session that was supposed to be really hard but being the rogue and a few lucky rolls, I was able to hide from him, trip him, and choke him, killing him in one turn. Im not allowed to go first anymore in combat

[@techbeef]

DM sucks at balance.

[@saam7737]

I love how you took three actions, including the hide action, tripped him which is a battlemaster ability, and choked him, which one shot him in 6 seconds. Were the other players your imaginary friends, or was it a solo game where you played the DM, and all the players knowingly?

[@wilsonmiranne214]

@@saam7737 You seem like you're really fun at parties. Let the guy be, even if he's probably lying. Also, starting at second level rogues can use cunning action to hide as a bonus action. Assuming this isn't a very early level game and the rogue took some levels in fighter or something, Action Surge can 100% account for the second action to attack after grappling from stealth. I don't think that he's telling the truth, but it is doable.

[@saam7737]

@@wilsonmiranne214 Youre right, i went in a bit, I was a bit hot headed as I wrote it. I just cringe reading some stories about stuff like that.

[@Barely_Edited]

How did that kill it in one turn tho