How SOCIETY romanticizes narcissism

[@NarcSurvivor]

Society enables narcissism and the media promotes it. But very few people are enabling healthy relationships and behaviour.

[@yolondagoode9656]

So true

[@tijeraslack3]

All facts! 🙌🏾

[@FloppedASF]

enables it so much yet i got fired multiple times cuz of it yea right

[@tijeraslack3]

@@FloppedASF Same here! I just resigned from a VOLUNTEER organization because it became toxic. Very rigid, invalidating, and trying to take credit for my work and trying to say I wasn’t doing enough. Volunteer hours are up to 5 hours a week. I resigned and the new VP still wants to do a 1:1 today. Why are we doing 1:1. I’m out! 🤣🙃

[@rturney6376]

⁠@@tijeraslack3so, the new VP feels better about themselves ❤❤❤

[@pjharry6754]

In France there is a mass rape trial (Mazan) and what's happening is devastating. In some comments and in the courtroom, the victim is devalued, gaslighted, blamed... while ALL the evidences of abuse are here (even videos) ! In societies this sick, survivors of all kinds of abuse are alone. We are so alone 😢 Thanks for sharing your knowledge doctor.

[@alvildasophiaalegria800]

How can I follow it?

[@Mermare]

That story is horrific. Bottom levels of hell horrific.

[@susankeith326]

I've been watching that too. It's similar to another case here in US, except this one is a serial killer who was only recently found out.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

I agree…

[@thecustodian1023]

This is what happens when the victim side of the equation refuses to band together and fight back. Walking away and letting them have what they were after the whole time without a fight isn't the punishment it made out to be.

[@OmniTarget13]

It’s very difficult to talk to anyone about the abuse and trauma I’ve experienced with narcissists in the past. Too many people out there in society would have it completely backwards to where they blame and shame the victim when they don’t know what’s really going on. They don’t understand how deep the manipulation goes. It’s very isolating when the people you thought would be on your side, would be the ones enabling narcissistic behavior.

[@yolondagoode9656]

That is so true,and because we are so trauma bonded & empathetic,we always think it's our fault & we must fix it,but we just didn't know,now we do

[@AlissaSss23]

They don't understand, but they don't care to learn either. I think it's mostly projecting resulting in victim shaming and blaming.

[@prismpyre7653]

hell, they'll go vote for it-- people WANT a leader that will treat them like crap and lie to them but will also make them "feel safe" and give them permission to be shitty too

[@JasonGoldstein78]

I'm in the process of teaching myself to sing, composing my first album and releasing on my own..... The purpose? When my narc discarded me, she left me trapped in the justice system and walked away laughing about it. I'm not ok with that. Not to mention the fact that a judge has ignored my motions to dismiss and continues to hold a warrant for my arrest despite providing overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It's already happening. Thank you God! I knew you had my back!

[@neal-stewart834]

excelent comment so true

[@pinkmeadows]

One half is educating and warning the world about narcissism while the other half is enabling/romanticizing the personality style. Its like a grand awakening and a never ending battle.

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

I think it may be getting a bit better…a bit

[@alexstewart8097]

Do you mean ''enabling /romanizing'' (the latter your own word) as in Pope Francis '' the Roman'' is doing?. Careful there for theY might find you , dox you and cancel you too. Lol

[@ninjakitteh9095]

As much as i want to despair, i have to remember that my mother was born before the DSMs existed. We didn't used to have language for any of this for the whole of humanity. So, forward we go. And oof, cuz now we can say it.

[@BrigitteGoodman]

rRomantizising? Yes.

[@VioletOne88]

Soooo true!!!! 💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯🔥🔥🔥 POWERFUL!!! Thank you Dr. Ramani & Team!!! 💯💯💯💖💖💖💓💓💓©️

[@effieshavit6621]

Someone said on the media today, "humiliation is worse than death." Took 59 y to encounter this saying. Narcissists and psychopaths are masters in humiliating. Putting their victims down mercilessly regardless of who they are, their deeds, intentions, values. The world is sinking for narcissists and psychopaths run it. Dr. Ramani, you are doing the most important job on the planet. I pray your words will spread and make a difference.

[@ericawarren]

Harvey Weinstein, Dan Schneider, Sean "Diddy" Combs, they are romanticized, revered, everybody wants to be like them, until we find out who they really are behind the mask. Even Neil Gaiman and Dave Grohl. Narcissists have made me weary of everyone. I'm convinced that it's actually smart to be weary of everyone. I'll stick to beautiful days with my beagle, lol.

[@prismpyre7653]

trumpf, yahu, putin

[@rturney6376]

😢🥲❤❤❤❤ Hopefully, those days are gone.

[@ericb8413]

Dogs are the best! 🐕

[@earthrooster1969]

Aah.. Beagle Blessings ❤

[@earthrooster1969]

​@@ericb8413I am the best version of myself with dogs, nature, animals..😅

[@TriciaSams]

I worked for a short time at a literacy center. I went in thinking it would be my dream job, but quickly discovered that my supervisor was someone who thought being mean and angry was "cool", and she surrounded herself with others who supported this idea. The new hire said "I'm a Scorpio, so I'm mean." The supervisor: "I knew I liked you." Eye roll. I was sad to leave my students, but for my own peace of mind I had to move on and am much happier working in a place now with professionals who are not insecure in who they are.

[@pxg7246]

I'm sorry you had to deal with a work environment like that and I'm glad you made the decision to leave for your own peace. I used to work in a spa clinic. The boss and customer service reps were in a clique. They called their group, "the mean girls." After the owner found out about how their toxicity was affecting the store, he made it a rule that management is not allowed to spend time with coworkers outside of work. He also split up the group and sent them to work separately in different locations, effectively neutralizing their bullying and control over others.

[@TriciaSams]

@@pxg7246 That's good the owner did something about it! So many times it seems mgmt looks the other way. In my case, my supervisor had been hired due to nepotism and there was no way the organization could get rid of her. I didn't waste time getting out of there once I could clearly see she was surrounding herself with flying monkeys. I hope you found a good workplace with zero "mean girls"!

[@michele0324]

Winning at any cost (to others) is Rule #1 in the narcissist playbook.

[@Mermare]

I always think about that when I see one of those movies of the person that sacrificed everything for their dream, with their partner by their side. The road to that story is littered with a billion broken people sacrificed for one success story.

[@thecustodian1023]

Letting them have what they want without a fight and walking away isn't helping slow them down either. Go figure.🤔

[@cr2lives]

It's also rule #1 in capitalist societies.

[@lindac6919]

@@thecustodian1023 Yes it does slow them down. Because they don't get any more out of you, after you walk away. Staying and engaging feeds them.

[@thecustodian1023]

@@lindac6919 But they keep going.

[@ApeEscape7]

The part at the end when she says some survivors may never get the support they need, I feel that currently. It’s been way more difficult than it should be to find a therapist who is educated on narcissistic abuse that takes insurance. I hope through Dr.Ramani’s work we’ll start seeing more and more therapists who understand it. But listening to these videos every day has been my saving grace to make me not feel crazy.

[@dreamscape405]

Agreed ❤ I'm currently working on my degree, so I can help survivors of narcissistic abuse, that works with insursnce companies, and provide treatment for those who can't afford it too. Help is on the way❤❤❤

[@ApeEscape7]

@@dreamscape405 God bless you!! It’s such meaningful work for survivors in this world! We need more people like you!!

[@dreamscape405]

@@ApeEscape7 ❤❤❤ I'm also a survivor/scapegoat, so I understand!

[@ApeEscape7]

@@dreamscape405 omg I’m a survivor/scapegoat/truth teller too!

[@earthrooster1969]

I feel SO validated and have used all tools I can put my hands on. Time in Nature, a bit of travel, daily journaling, listening to Dr Ramani and others and stopping seeing myself as victim. It's a daily work but I no longer feel like a victim. I still have triggers so I know my struggle will be lifelong but I feel SO proud of myself for having made it this far. And I wish the same for you ❤❤❤❤

[@effieshavit6621]

We live in an enabling society - an ocean of pretenders, who are practically enablers. Participants. Light ones, heavy ones. Our society is run by narcs. And this show mustn't go on. It must end. This is the real, urgent, crucial battle humanity must win.The compassionate culture must be taught, spread, develop, rise. The evil one has to be fought and be defeated. The evil culture has to go.

[@Farvie8]

You have literally kept me alive Dr Ramani. I couldn't have gotten through this mess without you. I've been listening to you for years. Thank you. Please keep doing what you're doing. 🙏❤️

[@nadmrsic]

You are not alone❤

[@elisabethmortl9241]

🤝❤️😘

[@kriskaymusic2]

Same she’s the best

[@MunkeyKung]

💪

[@effieshavit6621]

Me too.

[@marysisak2359]

The dismissive attitude of the world is why your work is so important. As you once said, people just want to be seen (and heard), the world is whizzing by too fast to take the time to do that. So, thanks again for all your work.

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Not enough people understanding narcissistic abuse yet. Forever, I have been saying, I always feel like I am walking backwards while others are walking forwards. P.s. One narcissist can take down a business, though they seem to have one enabler by their side.

[@robig.5028]

Agreed 🙄

[@lindac6919]

Truth. One Narky can take down the business, the family...even the nation. Look at Hitler; Stalin; Mussolini.

[@BobConnor-n2g]

Jack Welch took down GE

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

@@BobConnor-n2g I’ll look him up

[@annemurphy8074]

@@lindac6919 Trump.

[@shar6507]

You’re the best, Dr. Ramani! As long as you are talking, I’m listening. 🙌

[@leeboriack8054]

I’ve been in two romantic partnerships with narcissists and I can say it can causes permanent changes to your personality, self esteem and cognitive abilities.

[@sharicoburn5475]

Same here, four of them for 30 years. Free at last

[@briandrake6881]

This video essay should break the internet!!!!! It says it all! About the West and history of humanity.

[@effieshavit6621]

@@briandrake6881 Exactly!!!!

[@thornless9073]

Exactly!! This cuntry has done everything it could to just not put NARCISSUS on the table because waaaaay too many people would figure out the problem!!!

[@cathichristian4142]

Watching Dr. Ramani's videos bring me peace.

[@radial75]

Dr. Ramani, you are a lion for confronting the overwhelming prevalence of narcissistic behavior, including the enabling. Thank you for speaking the truth about survivors that are so often disbelieved. 🙏

[@blu-r7h]

I just shared my story three times. My biggest fear is that I am not believed or am minimized. There is no reason at this time to say it is true, but it is my life long experience telling me so.

[@margielogman1355]

You aren’t alone. I am ready to give up trying to be believed. Guess we need to believe each other and forget the rest.

[@lindac6919]

I'm in Dr Ramani's group. They believe me.

[@blu-r7h]

@@lindac6919 How is her group?

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

Hmmm. The irony is, it takes FAR more courage to be a narcissistic abuse survivor. It takes courage to love, knowing that someone might let you down. And, it takes courage to say when enough is enough. It means that you are valuing yourself enough TO say goodbye, and you don't deserve ongoing verbal abuse. I have heard it said that courage isn't the absence of fear. It is the decision that something is more important than fear. If you can RETAIN your love of people, despite having seen the darker side of humanity, and still see people's potential for growth, it can add greatly to your happiness and strength. I still think, despite my friendship with a narcissist (She confided in me that she is sadistic because it is fun.), that we are here to encourage one another, and help each other in our journey... I enjoyed this video! Thanks! Susan

[@xsilentg]

This. 🌻

[@notagain779]

being sadistic is fun??? WOW. It's good that you have gotten away from that.

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

@@xsilentg Thanks!

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

@@notagain779 Yes, thank goodness I did! ...I was very naive at this stage of my life. But, I can see now that I became a stronger, better person because I interacted with her. I became more my authentic self, if that makes any sense? I CAN be myself, even if I don't have her approval...

[@notagain779]

@@pointofnoreturn3103 , Yes, I've been in a naive stage also, when it happened to me. People of that type have a sense, when they meet people of our type, that they can take a dominant position. What prompted me to reply to your comment was that some of these types will tell us exactly who they are, (such as sadism is fun) for the person you once thought was your friend. The one I knew told me, "I will push for what I want out of another person to see how far they'll let me go. It's up to THEM to show me where the line is. If they don't, I have the green light to continue." Looking back, I say to myself, why didn't I ask her more about that immature attitude. Did she think anything of having a moral compass or a sense of personal responsibility for her behavior.? Is it always up to other people to do the work of being considerate of others? Another thought: One of her favorite singers was Annie Lennox, who sang a song (I forget the name of it.) about some people liking to be abused. (!) That's just rubbish.

[@NivesRigodanzo-Massey-wk3ls]

Thank you Dr Ramani .for getting up early each day to tell your teaching. Always looking forward to hear your wisdom. Highlight of my day.

[@craftyhobbit7623]

Growing up, I wished that I was like the 'popular' kids, the ones that made the class laugh, the ones that got to go out and do cool things, the ones that had everyone's attention, but I always felt like I was too shy and quiet for it and it also took me along time to have the courage to express myself how I wanted to, but now that I know about narcissism, I realize that what really made me different to them was that I'm not narcissistic and that the reason why I had trouble expressing myself how I wanted to was the way that the 'popular' kids bullied me. Narcissism was always rewarded, even in TV shows, movies and books. Occasionally there would be an heroic character who was nice in media but most of the time even the heroes had narc traits. The biggest problem I've identified (at least for me), is finding you can't express yourself as it can impact you when it comes to careers, relationships (friends, family, etc), pursuing hobbies and interests and how you dress.

[@GenesGems]

I’ve been with my narcissist for 20 years. She’s achieved. She’s pretended. She’s demeaned. She’s built such a story from the outside looking in, that I’ve stopper expressing my pain and fears to anyone. Because people don’t believe me. They think I’m just too sensitive, and too dramatic. Now. I just agree with my narcissist and then do what I want. I collect toys that I love and enjoy. Even if the narcissist tells me “this is a sickness…” I listen to the music I like even though I get “ugh…. I can’t… this is just horrible….” I eat when I want (as I’m working on weight loss and health) when she says “why don’t you eat with everyone else…. What’s wrong with you?” Yes. Narcissists are the winners in life. The millionaires, the personalities who people admire. The hunter is always cheered. The lion… doesn’t matter… my narcissist really thinks she had a normal childhood. Mine wasn’t I can admit… too permissive, no rules, just love and drama. But she was restrained from feeling and being. She had to survive. She moved out at 17 and never came back. Anyway…. You’re amazing Dr. Ramani. You help so many with this work. With these videos. I don’t have a therapist as even my last therapist was telling me to just talk to my narcissist like a regular, typical person… but that’s not what I need. I need someone who knows what a narcissist is…. What a detriment it is to a relationship and a family. What a hidden demon jt is… with a perfect outer persona…. That’s it.

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

She’s no doubt is talking crap behind your back. Why no one listens to you. I am sure you are the problem not the narcissist.

[@AlissaSss23]

Your lad therapist was right. And it looks like YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL AT IT. You found balance, agree to what they say, and do what makes you happy 😊

[@AlissaSss23]

​@SherryTomlinson-r2y your comment makes no sense 😮

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

@@AlissaSss23 Actually I’ve been listening to Dr. Ramani for a long time now. I’ve been put through this crap quite a few times myself. But Ty !

[@AndreBiza]

@MysticCreature It takes a lot of inner strength to be able to ignore the toxicity of the narcisist and just keep going and doing fine. It just saddens me to listen you've stopped expressing your pains and fears because people don't believe you. Even your therapist didn't get it. I hope you get to find good relationships for you to share your true self, 'cause that's a human need and you deserve it. Why don't you try to find a trauma and abuse informed therapist? It can be really handy. My warmest greetings, my fellow!

[@mariellarobles3372]

It's a roller coaster of emotions and living with a narcissist is something that I didn't understand until I was diagnosed with cancer and I wanted to find a answer to heal my body and mind and I found so many answers to my behaviors, the cancer, the clutter, the low self esteem and the deep pain I carried in my soul. The puzzle pieces came together and navigating my emotions was easier because I was understanding why I never felt secure and safe with the man I loved and married and why we have never had peace and a truly loving relationship. Somewhat understanding and digesting what I have been through is so much easier to swallow and not blame myself and slowly recuperating from all the 33 years of immense pain and mental and emotional turmoil and the trauma it inflicted to my all around health.I am grateful for the insight that has helped me understand this life of pain and making peace with myself.

[@MarshaGadley]

Thin-skinned and eggshells; makes much sense. I never knew what would set him off.

[@SuperCoolMom0725]

Thank you for all of your videos. I survived 8 years, 9 days married to a malignant narcissist. It's nice to know I am not alone!

[@marcamp5450]

I stayed 33 and almost didn’t survive. Emotional and verbal abuse is life threatening. God got me out. 🙏❤️

[@SuperCoolMom0725]

@@marcamp5450 I am thrilled that you got out!!! ❤❤❤

[@user-yi8de1dw7b]

I feel that covert narcissists are way trickier than overt ones. You can see the overt ones coming a mile away but it can take years to figure out what’s happening with a covert one and you almost have to live with them to be able to figure it out. They’re both equally awful

[@Kenzofeis]

One waves the red flag with pride, slap you in the face with it, the other has it rolled up in a pocket and thus it is obviously an innocent handkerchief

[@sbella6719]

Totally agree! Everything about the covert narcissist is hidden. I think hidden so well that it's hidden from themselves. All they see is the results they get from patterned behavior. If you hold enough awareness to respond differently it throws them off completely. Awareness is key to freeing yourself.

[@effieshavit6621]

The title alone - chilling. Sooooo true. The bottom of humanity's hypocricy.

[@lindac6919]

Good remark.

[@amarbyrd2520]

The part starting at about 28:00

[@haraharuki]

Recently there was a big case in my country on my field of work (mobile game industry), of employee abuse done by the owner of her studio. It is almost comical that the question popped up was (and it is still now, whenever new person read the article) as Dr. Ramani said in this video, "Why didn't she just leave her job". I was kind of fascinated by that phenomenon as well. Why society is so quick to judge or question the victim who clearly rendered powerless due to multiple amounts of abuse they got, but rarely questioned the perpetrator. I mean to wake up everyday, consciously and deliberately inflict physical or emotional pain to someone close, is a questionable behavior in itself.

[@Beverly-e4z]

If anyone becomes the victim of a narcissist they will stop thinking the toxic disease is cool. Though, one must admit the deterioration of the morals and values of our society is real. That may have something to do with it.

[@pkswty]

True. Narcissistic people come from an abused place but find strength in the narcissism and carry it, destroying others in their path.

[@saturdayschild8535]

It’s the same with infidelity, the narcissist’s specialty. People romanticize affairs as finding love in unlikely places, you can’t help who you love, the heart wants what the heart wants, and other such bullshit.

[@brenda.lizeth]

My abuser finally left me.. He found someone else... I tried telling her, but didn't believed me until he put his hands on her. He told her I was so mean to him, and she believed me.. She still decided to stay. I haven't heard from my future ex husband in a little over a year... But for a long time I felt like i wasn't good enough, I mean i still struggle with that, but not as much as before.. I felt like I was going to "die" without him, but look at me now, peaceful.. I'm still single, but I'm going to take my time, as soon as I see a red flag, I stop talking to them

[@Rimshathaesthete]

The influencers are chaotic and yet they have so much following

[@thornless9073]

Satan has many followers, too. This is a good thing: the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

[@KillTheFear]

I was JUST talking about this yesterday. I am so relieved to speak about it in detail and educate those of us (me) on it. Thank you so so much!

[@yuu_miran]

Movies promote it! You ll see ladies get flustered at a charming handsome male character lovebombing frmale character but being abusive here and there and that gets normalized and even idealized since its done by this handsome gorgeous man who definitely loves that girl in the movie…

[@joyejohnsonauthor]

The phrase 'gaslighting' comes from a play and film called 'Gaslight'. The 1940 film stars Ingrid Bergman as a woman married to a man who tries to make her insane by walking around in the attic at night and turning the gaslights up and down, only to tell her it's all in her head. It does a great job of telling the story from her point of view, and she has a wonderful character arc. It's a fantastic film, with a 16-year-old Angela Lansbury as a saucy maid. But for anyone dealing or healing from narcissistic abuse, PLEASE watch this film. You will love it!

[@christopherholly1392]

It was his mistress hiding in the attic that was making noise, moving the furniture, hiding her keys, etc

[@jans724]

It's a great movie. I re-watched it recently.

[@Greenwings701]

No character gets the target on their back more than the good guy. Then they blame him for the scorn they heap. Then the target becomes legit in the eyes of others. So. Very. Many. Cowards in the world.

[@well_weathered]

When I left the state with my spouse for his work I found the world of true crime. I had already followed the story of Vanessa Guillen. It was Gabby Petito that really introduced me some youtube channels which introduced me to a couple more cases. It has helped me to learn and deal with experiences. I was never into too much of the true crime but certain stories got me. It was an evolution of how the justice system works and about narcissism.

[@Mino_512]

Thank you for sharing this. I didn't know why my father became interested in true crime before he passed away. It's good to know he found a way to relate his experiences with NPD to the books.

[@Snowfoxie1]

I highly recommend the podcast True Crime Campfire. They often cover cases involving narcissists and always call out specific narc behavior and give tips on how to identify and avoid narcs. I have a sneaky suspicion they are fans of Dr. Ramani. They’re also beyond compassionate to the victims and never revel in gory details. If you can stand the occasional F-word, they’re a fantastic listen ❤️

[@well_weathered]

@@Mino_512 I'm sorry he experienced abuse in any form.

[@well_weathered]

@@Snowfoxie1 Thank you for the invitation. You might find me there. It grows hard to watch cases with no resolution, but that's where we seem to be at.

[@Mermare]

Movies are all about the love bombing. They never show 5 years later.

[@reginaldinoenchillada3513]

Any story involving good and evil touches on narcissistic personality disorders.

[@magdalenanowakowska5263]

Narcissistic abuse and workplace mobbing have one thing in common, you can't be truly yourself when you are struggling for survival

[@michaeleckert5877]

A timely lesson to all the world😊

[@robinmork2828]

This needs to be filed as abuse in court proceedings especially with all court proceedings that deal with children !!!!!!!!!

[@Ay-B]

I realized that the protagonists in so many movies are narcissistic. I think we've been conditioned to accept narcissistic behavior.

[@garovera]

To not experience shame, guilt or care, and do whatever one wants all the time without repercussions is very alluring to the normal person who is generally all-feeling, compassionate, and self-aware. Must feel very FREEING.

[@Kenzofeis]

There is much such appeal now, so it all depends on strength

[@giorgiorosa4402]

I have a friend that did grow up in a cult who jumped from weird New Age movement to crazy movement after leaving the cult. I was telling him about some trauma I had from childhood and he asked me to examine what was my role and my responsibility creating that trauma. I was a child and I was clear about that, but he still asked me to examine my role in inviting the trauma. My now ex-friend allowed NLP to replace his cult personality and became insufferable as a result.

[@lindseydanger8622]

I learned about narcissists in 2007. I was in junior high and I came across a book that talked about psychopaths. It mentioned the narcissist and how they are a sort of sociopath but they are usually more strategic and intellectual. It kind of glorified them in a messed up way. But it gave me a name of what I was going through and I felt so heard. I felt like I was crazy until I found that book. Both my parents are narcissist. They messed me up so much that I'm an empath now and I hate it. I'm a puddle of mush and I think I hate myself

[@webbsamples]

You are not a puddle of mush. You are a survivor and soon to be an overcomer. The trait of an empath is to help people. Be good to yourself.

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

I understand what you say about hating it. Feeling empathy so overwhelmingly it's debilitating and somehow guilt comes as a side-dish .. The world is exhausting and not made for people like us. I wonder why we can't be empathetic to ourselves though.. it's a strange thing 🤔

[@OneofMany-yt5sl]

@@OneCatShortOfCrazy I understand what you mean. I wish I could remove all guilt from going low contact with a narcissist in my family who has become too much. Being related to someone like that does not stop some folks from going low contact with no regrets. For me, I keep trying, but get almost nowhere. The person sets up roadblocks. And then the guilt returns...

[@Jess-kn8vl]

We gotta remember that WE are the normal ones with normal emotions and compassion for obvious reasons. We dont use or exploit people for selfish reasons. We make mistakes and that is normal. We don't have a pervasive patten of causing problems. Its them.

[@thornless9073]

I love hearing your call them assholes, I love it when you talk like that🥹🥹🥹

[@dangelodiane]

Once I figured out who/what the Ex was and managed to escape, I knew the next hurdle would be dealing with the judgmentalism and further humiliating comments of other people. I was not wrong.

[@FokudaIsao]

Thank you Dr. Ramani for the amazing work that you do! Your content might not replace therapy, but it sure helps us not only feel less lonely, but also develop deeper connections with people around us. I can say your content helps me a lot to communicate better with people close to me that have been victims of narcissistic abuse.

[@christopherholly1392]

KZbin vids & podcasts are better than any therapist I've been to. The problem is you can relate, but not personalize- you need one of these lazy therapists for that.

[@christopherholly1392]

KZbin vids & podcasts are better than any therapist I've been to. The problem is you can relate, but not personalize- you need one of these lazy therapists for that.

[@HeatherPretorius-zb4tf]

Even these videos you make with no solutions are touching a part of us who are going through this abuse with no way out. Even though I am no longer trauma bonded to my narc husband, I sometimes feel so wiped out by it all and there is just no one to speak to, utter isolation. Then I turn to your channel, cry a few tears and it helps. It's like the pressure in a tap finally being released even for a brief moment that can give one the strength to carry on just that bit longer, till maybe one day I can afford the therapy and the lawyers. Thank you ❤

[@Kenzofeis]

Tears actually takes with them stress related chemicals, so that is one reason they actually helps you feel better :)

[@tentinquarantino7457]

stay strong!!

[@HeatherPretorius-zb4tf]

Thank you, it means a lot, my little girl keeps me going. ❤​@@tentinquarantino7457

[@sbella6719]

I wish I could cry so easily for release.

[@JustNath2024]

When I finally had the nerve to tell him I wanted it to be over, he asked Why? I said I was not happy (to stay on the safe side in communication)... his reply was, well I am not unhappy..... So he did not see the problem.

[@janicebreaux4956]

KZbin videos beat daytime TV talk shows by a mile when it comes to talking about personality disorders. You are saving peoples lives. You are making their lives better, giving them hope, making these personality disorders understandable with your insights and dissection of our culture covering them up. Thank you so much.

[@NJGuy1973]

Why would anyone think daytime talk shows have anything useful to say about personality disorders?

[@janicebreaux4956]

Just because TV is available to the masses. Book authors are interviewed. Many topics TV covers in-depth. For example, drug addiction, alcoholism, other addictions, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, hoarding, phobias, school bullying, injustices, discrimination, crime, domestic abuse, sudden traumatic events, massive disasters, physical health topics. However, their content is lacking on narcissism, sociopathy, codependency, & borderline personality disorder. They do interview some psychopaths in prison, and talk about that topic a little, especially when a relative of a psychopath has written a new book. Dr. Ramani’s KZbin videos might push TV to do more on personality disorders.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

We have the playbook now let’s use it ❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@user-ns6yc8mp4q]

Lovin your spark! Thanks Ms Tammy ❤🎉

[@unabambinatropposensibile]

these videos may not substitute therapy but you're kind of healing me Dr Ramani

[@elisabethmortl9241]

I really appreciate you Dr. Ramani ! You are the Best for that subject and you helped, are helping me so much. I got your book as well "It's not you" Thank you so much for your precious work and for being alive ! 🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️

[@rturney6376]

I hope this video gets you to 2M !!! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@violetviolent7980]

The story with critc and dance director whatever, that act was disgusting and he should've been arrested, i love how you broke you it down, explain how on awards show a person a walk on stage assualt another person over a joke and next giving an award and giving an standing ovulation, and "understanding".

[@sharicoburn5475]

Regarding the comments on the article about ethical behavior and you said that so many people are not kind to survivors of narcissistic abuse, I would say many people are just young and don't understand what they're talking about basically just ignorant people who haven't been through it and don't know about it. That's why it's so important for us to have places like this so thank you for that

[@Nick_Paradise_Real]

Thank you so much for your work Dr. Ramani

[@sarahmcnicol.lifecoach]

It is a source of validation Dr Ramani. Thank you 🙏

[@higbeedoug]

LOL You left out lawyers. Holy cow.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

They in all jobs 😮

[@KharisReimagines]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge. You have helped me learn how to heal and recognize the abuse. I am grateful for being able to trust myself after losing trust in others. No more self-doubt.

[@shannenleigh7514]

Here in Australia a lot of our mental health workers are now called "victim survivors", I think it's one of the smartest things that can be done. Some people can just tell because they have lived it. As a victim survivor I will say, remember this isn't about you it's about them. Leave it with them, they can't hurt a firewall

[@susangarrard2753]

It’s really hard to find movies and TV shows to watch that are not about narcissism as the star.

[@AmiRiddle]

In recent years I've seen a weird avoidance of the word 'narcissist' in a groups that labeled themselves as supporting and caring. If someone asks for advice and decribe their partner and someone else calls this partner a narcissist, the responses are usually "Do not diagnose people through the internet!", "Excuse me, are you a licensed psychiatrist?" and so on... The mildest reactions are usually "Oh well, 'narcisssist' is such an oversued fancy label now, everybody is narcissist apparently..."

[@sbella6719]

But it is overused, to the point that it's lost its true meaning

[@kennethlapointesongwriter3330]

I wouldn't even be in the same vicinity of a full-blown narc, sociopath or psychopath, let alone be 'romanticized' by them or about them. Empathy and compassion and helping others is super-interesting.

[@effieshavit6621]

My father. My brothers. The full extended family, community - an army of enablers. The prime minister. The police minister. I keep speaking Dr. Ramany's words, specifically in this video. By now we know more than enough - we only must start to disable narcisists, identify them, stop adoring and enabling them.

[@user-sx9hq7qwert]

These videos help so many people. Keep going Dr. Ramani!

[@marthamh]

That's exactly why I love the art that Taylor Swift does. She can express a lot about being a victim of narcissism. Her songs saved me many times while I was surviving dark periods.

[@vanessasperling]

When “The Way of All Flesh” by narcissistic-abuse-survivor-turned-angry-lion Samuel Butler is required reading in school, lives will change. Butler never used the word “narcissist”-he said there are two kinds of people in the world: “nice” and “odious”-but he nailed the reality that the world is run by the “odious” people and called them out by name in 19th century London society of famous people. He was hated in his time, but he refused to stop because he wanted victims to be seen and heard.

[@Kenzofeis]

It has been known for hundreds and thousands of years, they have been described by many, but the terminology has been lacking, until now. The more of them, the more will be forced to know. Machiavelly described one type, that has come to be known as machiavellian, for example.

[@vanessasperling]

@@Kenzofeis ... that's so true!

[@TheMmiguelito]

"That's just locker room talk" he's a smart businessman ,that's why he filed bankruptcy six times and doesn't pay his contractors"

[@E.K.2003]

"A Face In The Crowd" is a movie starring Andy Griffith that exemplifies a person with narcissistic tendencies geting enabled and empowered through media attention.

[@jackiep5009]

I have had to play up the fairly light physical abuse at the end to get people to take serious the debilitating emotional punching bag incidences from my Narc therapist ex

[@mrfomiatti5515]

G'day Dr Ramani.🐨

[@margielogman1355]

Just have to say thank you again

[@r-l1214]

A lack of bad intentions as the perpetual excuse for every negative action. I’ve lived it for almost 30 years. It’s disgusting, and it’s baloney.

[@benniecampbell3973]

Because of, It’s hard for me to believe all the “Pure Hell!” I’V been through, I feel crazy talking about it!!! And then I wonder if others think I’m crazy when I talk about my past!!! but I’m telling the “Raw Truth!” but I’m telling the “Absolute truth!”!!! So how can simply telling the Truths make me look 👀 crazy and feel crazy!!! Yeah this is how bad my past was!!! I’m not Crazy!!!

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

Sometimes we overshare too early with people and sometimes it's easy for us to forget that a lot of these people have no basis for understanding these kinds of things. Lucky for them that they don't understand, but sad for us. Sometimes we can come off as crazy if we share too much too soon or if we share with people that "don't get it", and it makes us look a bit crazy. I have learned to hold back more and to evaluate before I share, and think about what to share and what not too, and when. It is hard though because we want to share the things that has happened to us so we can find understanding, but alas, too many people don't understand so we have to be a little careful and understand that they will not work as support for us. ps) *_you are not crazy_* 🤗

[@annazukowska8170]

Bardzo jestem wdzięczna za wiedzę, którą się Pani z nami dzieli, wskazując na konkretne zjawiska i analizując je.

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

This was pure gold DR Ramani, Thank you so much for this, Some people will never open their eyes and some turn a blind eye, I'm very grateful for you, You're a treasure to humanity, It's a pleasure to be around a great person who gets all of this, People need to stop romancing abusive relationships, It's disturbing and they are sick, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

[@naturelover1284]

I feel like I had surveillance instead of parenting my father was a detective and my mother was just like Judge Judy

[@tijeraslack3]

“Dance guy” carrying dog feces around and putting it in someone’s face is not something to take lightly and you are correct, who walks around with that? People have issues and this was pre-planned. 😂

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

I just checked up on him and he has got a new fancy job (was fired from the job he had then). I know I don't know this person and what or "who" he is, but it feels unjust somehow that people will just look past this kind of behaviour so that people that do things like what he did , can just move on and still be successful in their field. One would think such an act would have more long term consequences.

[@TimothyTaylor-w6d]

Enjoyed this! Keep Up the Great Work Dr. Ramani!

[@khadraLuula]

Thank you so much, we live in a funny era. My safe people is you , my therapist, and one good friend

[@darcyroyce]

Sometimes there are no words, but Thank You! ❤

[@xXNoMoralzXx]

The villain in the story has an important role in movies and stories. It characterizes the struggles of the protagonists and sets a dynamic between the power dynamics through which the villain can higlight and characterize the messages and merits of the hero. In the real world villains convolute the truth and hide the dynamic and contexts, replacing them with a narative that sustains their power and control.

[@olliebaby]

Dr.Ramani thank you for enlightening me. I'm still living with my narcissistic father in law and their enabler family, but I understand their behaviour better now. I've created some sorts of boundaries within the same household and thanks to you my husband now has realised his enabler behaviour for his father. It's still not the ideal situation to be in for me, but after 22yrs of enduring this utter madness, thanks to you I've realised it wasn't me, it never was me. I thought I was going crazy, might as well have if I hadn't encountered your videos and your latest book. My most sincere good wishes and prayers for you. The heavens have a special place reserved for earth angels like you 🩷

[@LindseyLeonard-xn3ih]

I recently divorced my malignant narcissist husband. He is a federal special agent and we have 3 children together. I wish I’d found Dr. Ram sooner. She would’ve been a light for me in the darkest of times. However, I’m just as thankful I’ve found her now. She is the reason my heart still beats. Her work has equipped me with a fortitude of knowledge and it helps me feel stronger in the face of his menacing bullshit. Before her, and I still struggle with it, I felt so powerless. The threats coming from a special agent feel credible and I cowered in the face of every one. The words that come out of her mouth bring me to tears often. She’s my miracle. I’m forever grateful to her mother for bringing her into this world.

[@squiddysan]

Ironically, the person who opened my eyes to narcissism was the narcissist herself, telling me how someone else was doing all these horrible things to her... While she was simultaneously doing all those things to me. I was blind to it for years, making excuses and thinking she was my friend. How painfully wrong I was... Then again, maybe I was better off living in ignorance. Now, I'm able to see those exact same patterns, and it's frankly horrifying. And God forbid you apeak up about it. You'll only get shut down by people, saying "Ugh... Everyone's labelled as a narcissist these days." - which isn't far from the truth. The word DOES get thrown around for the dumbest reasons, therefore losing value. But that only further hurts actual victims of narcissistic abuse.

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Ive had that happen to me too. They project.

[@SoSoMystakn2]

Get often “why do you take it so personally!”

[@Kenzofeis]

"It's just a game" and before you know it "I am not playing your game!"

[@masterklep]

So true! Thank you for being so understanding to those who cannot leave due to financial or place to live reasons and others! Cuz I only hear everywhere "why don't you leave" question, like if I stay for the reason I'm not suffering anymore, kind of "it's your choice so probably you like it"... 🤦

[@Waterharmony3]

im always back to restore my sanity, thank you Dr. Ramani and friends :)

[@TheSahand68]

Yes, yes, yes! In this couple of minutes video, Dr. Ramani, you perfectly, nailed this problem. Watch Diddy Combs, your craziness is exposed!

[@stephanie6851]

Please right another book Dr Ramani! Your knowledge is a godsend

[@lauracurran4486]

Thank you so much Dr Ramani. You really bring hope and comfort to me.

[@mightygoshdarnfingary5900]

Hello, and thank you for your excellent work. I've watched several videos,and I always feel so good during listening. I am so so impressed. Hugs , Mighty.

[@RobinSpeer]

There are times when I'm not sure if I'm the victim or abuser when I try to talk to anyone about what has happened to me because of some of the responses that I have received. I only talk to my counselor now because I'm sick to death of the judgmental, dismissive comments. This channel and Dr. Ramani keep me centered. Thank you Dr. Ramani!

[@wild_rasp]

That's because journalists are often narcissists. A job to write whatever they want (dismiss stuff) to attract attention? Their heaven

[@jans724]

This was an important point and video!! Even psychologists often diminish the issue and often claim that it's very rare (only 1 %) etc.., which makes it less visible. Even when the narcissism becomes blatant and obvious they will shun from using the term. Another phenomenon I noticed is all the talk about "alpha males" etc., which women are attracted to. The whole idea of this is based on a misconception from primatology (and biology). Often it just describes narcissistic traits (and often outright narcissisrs) and these become praised as something to aspire to.