How the Buddha Handled Insults and Criticism

[@deroforever]

I learned to love the people who trigger me because they show me where I don't love myself yet ♡

[@howardcohen6817]

More, please.

[@deroforever]

@@howardcohen6817 ♡

[@iolite2]

It's scary (but maybe actually perfect) how you post videos that are exactly what I'm going through, exactly when I'm going through it. This isn't the first time! Thank you.

[@Psychoanalytical87]

It's your universal sign 🙏🏽

[@lopamudraroy6342]

Loved every word Loved the thought Loved the process Gratitude Gratitude Gratitude

[@melissa48]

I was not expecting that rubber/glue joke! 😂 Thanks, I needed that!

[@jessica0321]

Your voice is so relaxing for my nervous system. What a gift. Thank you for sharing.

[@Stevenbhiro]

Wonderful message. Thank you for sharing.

[@RighteousDay]

The one who bites or barks, who behaves in an unloving way... is in pain, and will also very likely be feeling separate from love, peace, worthiness or a sense of safety - perhaps, all of these. Unloving behaviour is a revelation as to what is UNSEEN, what is being FELT and experienced within the person - namely, pain (and not a "demon"). Yes, what usually precedes unloving behaviour or meanness is an inner-condition of pain. Thus, mean or unloving behaviour helps make what is invisible (the others pain & suffering, their inner experience), VISIBLE. It has become clear to me over recent years, that the person behaving in an unloving way is, in their pain and unbearable suffering *allowing* others to see this, at least unconsciously - to see the Truth of their inner condition, their true and unobvious inner experience (that of pain) in the hope that they receive the help... the love, support, connection, compassionate attention etc... that they indeed need 🌿 Meanness is not an indication of "badness" within a person... for the deeper Truth is, rather, that meanness *reveals* that they are suffering; they're not looking for a fight, they're looking to feel better, to feel less dysregulated. Mean Means Pain. And, at its core... every unloving behaviour is a Call for Love ... yet cannot give to themselves 🌿 Can you think of someone who recognized this about those around of him and, from compassion, responded to the calls for love (needs) of others? Hint: He had 12 disciples back in his day and he is the centrepiece of one of the greatest volumes of wisdom ever written. Remember... Mean means pain, it often means... "help..."🙏🏽

[@alonsoquirosgranados7568]

"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." - Jesus.

[@jamil1418]

right to the point once again, i'm so grateful to know you and your work thanks a lot

[@TonyRedunzo]

"I am rubber and you are glue and everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you" is something I used to say when I was 7 years old. Many of the kids said it to the bullies and still got beat up or insulted even more so we learned to respond to the bullies with more clever insults which usually worked because most bullies are insecure and dimwitted. I got pretty good with firing back like this and still do it with internet trolls. It usually results in me feeling agitated even when it shuts down the trolls and bullies. So, your analogy of declining the offer to engage in insults is a good strategy. What I like to do is a more active response where I politely ask the instigator to repeat what he just said. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, can you say that again?" "I'm sorry?" "What did you say, please speak up?" or just say "What?" over and over again. When I do this right, the bully goes into a frothing, frustrated, impotent rage and stews in their own bile. They give up and walk away, knowing they just lost because I refused to engage. Since I don't have the patience of the Buddha this works for me. maybe some day I'll have equanimity enough to just say nothing.

[@Gaurav.P0]

Wow 💯 I liked what you shared 😊

[@biancaghoul]

This is the exact video I need to watch. Thank you.

[@OneUndOnlee]

This was very insightful. I'm going through something similar where people are hurling insults at me left and right. I'm just remaining calm and not being reactive. The less you care about it, the more self-control you have. The only true power you have in this World is yourself. Unfortunately, there are many people who think the opposite. They try to control what's on the outside and it ends up controlling them.

[@odesangel]

I was caught off guard by your subtle joke. I appreciate your sense of humor. Thank you for the laugh.

[@ThespiraltimesAngie-668]

Consider that sometimes what you call an insecurity is better said a fear. What are you afraid of becomes the question sometimes.

[@LostHorizon52]

Thank you so much for your beautiful insights, you have a wonderful channel 💕

[@sandrashevel2137]

Thank you. I am still working on it ❤

[@helenenorman3598]

Amen. 🙏 Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪

[@Atman77]

Much needed topic 🙏

[@MargrietS]

I have a lot of anger in me, especially last year was very challenging for me. One day I was riding on a bike somewhere, and this woman felt I was cutting her off. And she said something nasty to me, and before I knew it, I had shouted back to her, you b*** or something like that in Dutch. And I was shocked by myself, but at the same time I was relieved, and so proud of myself, I had a big smile on my face, the whole way back home. I had never done something like this before. I always thought, well, the other person she’ll have a rough day, or I was too scared to react. I always suppressed this anger. And now it just came out and I couldn’t even help myself. As a child, I wasn’t allowed to be angry. I think, especially for girls, it’s even more difficult to express our anger, my parents didn’t accept anger from me. Society does not like angry girls, it’s more excepted from boys in general. I think that causes a lot of passive aggressive women, I am one myself 😆 But I get triggered a lot by comments from other people, also from my own partner. And I yell at my partner now, I know he is just a trigger, and when he’s in a good mood he thinks it’s okay that I yell at him. Because he knows that I’m not mad at him, actually, although that is some sometimes hard to comprehend. And otherwise, I just go to another room and yell and scream there. And since I do that, as often, as I can, I feel like my anger has decreased, and I very often had a sour throat, but not anymore. Isn’t that wonderful. So, at this point in my process, I am no Buddha 😇

[@AwakenInsight]

Thank you for sharing. We're all a work in progress. Any time we suppress anger, it has a tendency to find expression some way or another. The trick is to acknowledge it when it arises, to hold space for it (neither suppressing nor expressing), and to breath into that space, slowly and deeply, until it begins to settle. Thich Nhat Hanh used to say, hold your anger the way a mother holds a crying baby. And then from that space we can have the clarity to communicate what we're thinking and feeling in a way that is more calm and constructive. But it does take some practice.

[@howardcohen6817]

Fantastic. The blackberries (Brombeeren) outside have been ripe and delicious for the past 2 weeks, now. There are even some new flowers in the thick briar-patch, which is about 800 meters long. But 3 weeks ago, this was not the case - there were only small green berries on the stems. This was not the case 5-6 weeks ago - there were only promising blossoms. And 2 months ago there was only the growing, unpassible briar. At the beginning of the summer - not even that. My goal is always to find the most delicious berry to eat while enjoying the one I just found. Anger takes time to grow into an explosion. I find it always begins with some sort of expectation (Erwartung) on my part exacerbated by repeat and emphasis from things which are out of my control. Like with the berries, these incidents don't begin as such, but by observing the process of anger I'm much more amenable to encounter it. My therapist doesn't like my getting angry but I tell her that I do like it and it is, in fact, healthy in that it causes an increase in new neuron-growth. I keep these incidents short lived, but these seldom have to do with other people. Nevertheless, by breaking-up the anger-growing-process (expectation, bewilderment, frustration, exasperation, sadness and finally anger) I'm able to see the storm coming and will have already developed strategies for enlightened contact. Anger is manageable and disposable by interfering anywhere in the process. I find it best when "bewilderment" comes to investigate my "expectation" - each phase can shed light on the step before it and I often never get to the "anger". I find that the medicines of "curiosity" and "enthusiasm" keep any bouts with anger (like in missing a bus or by a political "set-bck") very short-lived without dis-allowing myself to get angry. I needn't get angry about a berry which doesn't taste just right; I look for the next berry. Love.

[@xChAoSx420]

My alcoholic narcissist parents have literally tried to drive me to suicide misery and depression they have called mental health offices on me over and over threatened to give me shots all types of weird ish. I’m sick of people and there drama and inhumane behaviors. They’ve tried to sleep deprive me since high school they’ve lied to courts called me a murderer rapist all types of just lies that make no sense. Child protective services never took me away from that house house of horrors feels like I just got out of a Nazi concentration camp. My parents sexually abuse me over and over then they tried to make me an adult stole my childhood and still try to deny there horrific actions.

[@howardcohen6817]

That's all pretty horrible. I hope you've got some safe-havens to which to escape.

[@florencealbano1141]

Thank you,that was a deep dive.just what I needed. Always be blessed ❤

[@lisaandreas5028]

❤🙏🏼❤️

[@veganallison]

Thank you... I know youre just sharing what you learn in your spiritual travels n we're only just instruments for God... n to serve heirs children... but I appreciate your thought provoking n insightful videos... n often they validate what ive intuited n observed myself in my own spiritual travels... thank you... much love protection wisdom n blessings brother...

[@bernadinemarr8432]

Thank you ❤

[@Peter-cr2gq]

Grateful for have known you my friend ❤

[@juniperstardust5549]

Not being able to handle attacks is one of the things I need to work on, thanks for the content

[@LaMachineÉmotionnelle]

I think this is great but there does need to be a point where one can accept criticism self evaluate and consider someone else’s feelings. Even if it is unpleasant, does not mean it is not true. You can just as easily not react in anger but ask what makes them think and feel that way. It also takes some bravery for people to confront someone directly with their dissatisfaction. This may feel like an insult but not all criticism is said with the desire to hurt, but to educate and understand. Other times it’s to expose. I would say there are some situations in which this is very valuable but this can also be misused as a way for other to remain arrogant and unaffected as they cause harm to other regardless of the many times people have tried to convey that they are causing them harm.

[@1e0s]

I love your beautifully articulated observations on everyday tribulations. I work in psychiatric intensive care and have used your words to redirect lost souls who I believe feed on the very thing which makes them ill. Sending thanks and blessings

[@Gaurav.P0]

One of the best video on internet 🤩

[@southlondon86]

Excellent advice, sir.

[@stretchmarks1025]

Thank you as always

[@arrowfar920]

I love your videos.

[@Leto85]

Thank you for this message. I do have a question about this. About it all, actually. It entiredly depends on my current mood rather I would react with anger or compassion, or not at all to an insult. One of the sources I think my reaction comes from is the believe or fear that nothing really matters. As in: everything is temporarily, including you and me, so why even bother. I am not a nihilist as I do believe in God, but I do so by choice, not religion. When I feel this low that I act out like this and think nothing matters, I react in anger and I think I do that because it makes me feel something. What advice would you give me to deal with that emptiness in a better way?

[@AwakenInsight]

If you truly believed that nothing really matters, you would never feel upset about anything. Imagine how liberating that would be. You could just live your life with no worry, no attachment, no disappointment, with no concern for what others say or do, never feeling disturbed or offended. You would be completely at peace. But as it is, there are many things which do matter to us. And the question we can ask ourselves is why? Why does it matter what someone else thinks of you? Why does it matter what they say? Why does it matter whether or not they approve of you, whether they accept or reject you? This is the kind of question we should be asking ourselves whenever we feel reactive. And not to assume that it doesn't matter, but just to find out why it matters so much to you.

[@howardcohen6817]

Wow, you admit doing this so that it makes you "feel something". I know many people of whom I would say this is true, yet others use anger for a reciprocal reason, "I make others feel something and THIS proves my existence." Both are based upon the doubt that one exists. Being fixed upon this one way or another precludes having enough warewithall to live and experience life. If happiness exists in the connective point(s) between the "I" and the "not (yet) I" it behooves the doubter to rid oneself of this doubt of one's existence. Doubt is like a bad fog in which one can't see the oncoming truck.

[@Leto85]

@@howardcohen6817 Unless I understood you wrong, I think doubt can be healthy where being certain of something can cause blindness.

[@Leto85]

@@AwakenInsight Thank you. That reminder makes sense. If it all was meaningless I wouldn't feel something of it because doing so would be meaningless into itself as well. That makes sense to me.

[@howardcohen6817]

Wow, you admit doing this so that it makes you "feel something". I know many people of whom I would say this is true, yet others use anger for a reciprocal reason, "I make others feel something and THIS proves my existence." Both are based upon the doubt that one exists. Being fixed upon this one way or another precludes having enough warewithall to live and experience life. If happiness exists in the connective point(s) between the "I" and the "not (yet) I" it behooves the doubter to rid oneself of this doubt of one's existence. Doubt is like a bad fog in which one can't see the oncoming truck.

[@mon8663]

❤

[@robertjacobs7223]

How close are u objectively to being in a state of non duality... Or is that a assumptive & / or verboten inquiry? TY.

[@AwakenInsight]

I'm just as close as you and everyone else

[@robertjacobs7223]

@@AwakenInsight That's a bit contracted & vague, but TY, 4 your prompt response..

[@philipidoux6607]

Thanks man, very helpful. Have been listening to your chanel for about 2 years. This is my 1st comment. Thanks for all your work!

[@Cheesus4jesus]

Being a non confrontational person this is especially difficult for me. Defending myself never ends up well and trying to remain stoic or unengaged doesn't work either. We can dismiss what others say to us as not harmful, but many a time the words of that critical bully reach the ears of others who have power over our lives, like a boss or an in law.

[@kt6332]

So much what I need right now, thank you! ✌️❤️😊🙏

[@mirandamom1346]

I have a family event coming up, so your timing is impeccable 😁!

[@howardcohen6817]

Pretty wonderful stuff, Nada, please accept my thanks. For a moment I believed that this childhood saying was actually what Buddha said. From your smirk I can tell that you had had to say this many times as a child as I imagine your parents teaching this to you. I'm amazed that the Brahme had the wherewithal to even ask this critical question.

[@howardcohen6817]

One of the problems with being angry is that it traps you to be even more angry while not allowing for feelings outside of that anger. It's like the tenor singing romantic music about how difficult life is to him but his voice is wonderful, although he doesn't notice this. Or riding your bike in the rain and getting angry for being wet - even though you have tw legs biking and the air is fresh and delicious. It's the poor car-drivers who we pity that they must get out of their cars in the rain while we needn't. So, yeah, giving yourself space for the feeling is very helpful, but it's important, I feel, for me not to misuse and misappropriate that space to either enlarge or diminish that feeling, Do you know what I mean?

[@stratford27]

Love this - thank you so much! :)

[@annmariejohansson8559]

Namaste 🙏

[@Sereneis]

Whose message? No proof or evidence yet that Buddha really existed (or Jesus, for that matter)

[@narutofan4545]

Nah I don't buy this Insults are useful sometimes. Sometimes people need to be insulted so a cord is struck within them so they can realize observe how they feel and change

[@ABCDuwachui]

One could also attempt constructive, honest criticism and offer help.

[@crackbaby4444]

thank you so much

[@tinas2493]

You wonderful words came to me at the right moment 🙏 Maybe because it’s always the right moment…. 😅