How "This American Life" changed my life (how I realized I have Aspergers)

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I'm hear to give a voice to late-diagnosed females with Asperger's.
As women, we are often overlooked since we present differently than men. This video chronicles the events that led up to me realizing in my 40s that I have Aspergers Syndrome (technically PDD-NOS, a step-down diagnosis from Aspergers). Thank you Ira Glass and This American Life! You changed my life. And of course, Amanda.

[@eastbaysf]

I hear now that there are 2to 1 female to males with autism now. since they are finding out women can act normal for most of their lives but they are finding out that due to anxiety and depression stomach problems and balance issues (vertigo) and muscular problems many of the women are Demanding answers then finding they have to see a psychiatrist. I found my diagnosis through a severe bought of vertigo,, BBV.. and menopause made it worse. My very young psychiatrist pointed it out (black and white thinking and catastrophizing) and I am now admitting I hated being around people. I am a loner and for the first time in my life I am at peace. Remember the older Doctors still think its only men that have it. So be picky about your doctors.

[@GutsAndGall]

+eastbaysf We're banding together for answers! Now, the task is getting support, which is abysmal.

[@GutsAndGall]

Wow, I just re-watched this video (June 2016) and the pain of it is still with me.

[@IAMGiftbearer]

It's interesting how this awareness came to you during a health problem. This is how it happened for me. During my health crisis it hit me like a ton of bricks and suddenly the full awareness came flooding in. I think my protracted physical suffering brought it more to the surface. When I began having full-blown meltdowns at age 55 I really couldn't push it out of my mind any longer. Alot of experiences of when I was a child came back to me that I hadn't thought about or remembered in years. I know what you mean about that sense of churning. I have that as well and back in December it was as if the volume was suddenly turned way up and it was screaming at me (the realization and full impact of it) and I suddenly said "Oh shit! Now what do I do!", all the feelings that come with it and nowhere to put them, trying to find a way to have peace in all of this. Alot of these professionals seem to be afraid to deal with adults when push comes to shove. I wish they wouldn't be so afraid of us. Then when you reach out to them and you have to beg for help because they don't want to be the one it makes you hesitant to do it again. I made a comment in my blog that this thing has no curb appeal when you're no longer a cute 5 year old.

[@ShimmeringOneness]

You are not alone and I feel so very fortunate to have found your channel! I'm currently writing you privately about my situation. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

[@everwintergreen]

I'm 40 now and going to be getting checked out for ASD soon. I just can't not get this checked out any more. Like you, I've known there's something 'wrong' with me all my life, but no one understands and no one believes that. They only believe what they can see with their eyes. So I feel for you. Thank you so much for sharing this. You've encouraged me & relieved me and I have some hope. Please keep me in your thoughts and/or prayers if you read this, that I can get whatever's going on with me figured out like you did. Thanks again for making your videos.

[@GutsAndGall]

It's a scary and emotional thing. You're strong and brave. Remember that no matter what anyone says you know your truth, and keep fighting until you find someone who will listen and take you seriously. If you encounter someone who minimized you or is insulting/aggressive/abusive try to remember it's not you. There are a lot of sick practitioners out there, especially within psychiatry. Reach out to other Aspies for support. I'll be wishing you the best. Please do follow up in a comment how it goes.

[@everwintergreen]

+MindOfHerOwn It's gonna be at least August before I get checked out, but I'll try to remember to follow up here. Thank you for the support & comment. :)

[@youcancallmeana]

Well I just turned 50 a couple of months ago. I am waiting to go through the screening process. Funny things about this are how I have worked with and have a knowledge of almost every psychological disorder, and have even worked with autism, and until last year I never ever connected all of the stuff I have tried to work through in this life with being autistic. I am a voracious reader. And maybe 18 months ago, I came upon a couple of different writers who had aspie's as their main characters. I enjoyed the books on one of my scales of enjoying books: Content. Writing skill. Characters. Sometimes, on the rare occasion, all of the above. And one more, I can't remember at the moment. I liked the characters in these books, well one I liked, one I didn't exactly like, but I felt like I could relate to her. And both were autistic. I thought to my self that was kind of interesting, how much I could relate to autistic characters, I thought about autistic clients I had worked with about 20 years ago when I worked in the DD field for about a year, and they were my favorite clients to work with. I remembered that I shared a couple of quirks with them, I hate the tags on clothes and must remove them immediately, and lights, sounds and other external stimuli were very uncomfortable for me too. But of course I never thought I was autistic. I haven't been very connected to popular culture for the last 10-15 years. I have had a great deal of upheaval in my life the last few years. I have been living bi-continental the last four years. It's rather disruptive. I don't really have a home port at the moment, though I am really trying to establish one. Last summer I got a chance to visit my family Dr, who I have known now for more than 20 years, but as everyone knows now, such things are complicated. During our frantic conversation, trying to get as much in as possible, she said to me "I wonder if you are on the Spectrum? Maybe ADHD? Maybe we should try Ritalin?" And I said "No, I think I am more autistic." Again I had so much going on at the time, I didn't think much about it for another 6 months, and then in January, things finally came to a standstill, so to speak. Interestingly enough, I was also having a great deal of trouble with vertigo, I attributed my problems to an inner ear infection, which coincided with a life long problem with allergies, sinus problems, and a recent trans atlantic passage that had aggravated these conditions. So I too was stuck with not much too do. I was doing research on the internet and came across the AQ test. I did it just for something to do, I thought I might score on the higher side of normal, but I was completely unprepared for a score of 35. Well above high. I took it again, twice in the next few weeks, and tried to make sure I was as honest as possible (like my fucking life credo) and I scored 35 and 39. Well this has already gone on too long. Hmmm. But I am now waiting to try and go through the screening process in my current country of residence, where, at least I am in the system. Strangest thing in the world that I can't work with my old GP and friend on this process, since I am not "in the system" in the States. I am dealing right now with all my "old friends" telling me, "well you know everyone is a little bit autistic." And when I tell them all the behaviors I relate to, I hear "Well that doesn't really sound like you." And in my mind I think to myself "wow, I guess I actually was able to hide all of these strange behaviors all these years. Great, it never helped me then, and it doesn't help me now." Thanks for your video. Just adding that at the end to prove that my mother did teach me good manners.

[@GutsAndGall]

Wow, thanks for sharing all that! It's amazing to me too how much I resonated with Aspie characters and people but it never occurred to me that I could be on the spectrum. You know the movie Mary and Max? I even told a friend "I'm Max, you're Mary." I think it is a miracle when the awareness finally happens and it's just overwhelming to reinterpret your whole life. I hope you are able to get screened so you can get better understanding of what's going on. Keep me posted. And jeez what is with these people and "everyone is a little autistic." No! Thankfully no one has ever said that to me or I might have lost my shit! And no need to say thank you, but I appreciate the gesture!

[@Cafeconlatte]

Excellent video. Thank you for taking the time to upload this!

[@ameliafavere]

This is my story, too. Not with TAL, but apart from that -- yes, yes, yes.

[@agustinamendez545]

I'm 35 years old and I believe that I have aspie. I'm just scared in how to get the right diagnosis for a woman with Aspie. I think I'm in my lowest point in my life right now. Right now I'm going to counseling for depression. I just start thinking maybe I have asperger. I'm just getting tired of feeling alienated and pretending that the words of my loved ones don't hurt me when they tell me I'm a weirdo. I brush it off but the name calling always puts me to a hold for a few days. I don't know I just need maybe a arrow where to begin or how to ask about the diagnosis.

[@AspergersversusNeurotypicals]

+Agustina Mendez Metta meditation can be a path to peace for aspies. I am not an expert but was intuitively guided to express this possible solution for you. Google Metta