How to be a Rock Climber

[@danugarbarino2291]

Don't forget passing every wall on every building and saying "I could climb that." Or crimping every ledge you see.

[@benjamincoram7036]

i feel targeted

[@adolescenterevoltado9008]

Feel like you're stalking me.

[@AG_HP7]

Danu Garbarino i can relate...now i can’t stop climbing my houses ledges...help

[@dogact6338]

can you read my mind

[@oscarkilby4033]

I did not ask for this attack

[@toby1103]

I didn't realise that my life was missing a crimp mug until this video

[@tobiastriesch3736]

I totally want one :D

[@nickmendoza1520]

Same

[@tobyayres5901]

Rather have a jug mug

[@gooz0mbie]

Oh gosh

[@TheFriedSurprise]

SAME LMAO

[@rrpeters]

Those guys had haircuts, climbers don't get haircuts.

[@ifhtfilms]

Can't argue against this one...

[@ionelbrinzila]

we need how to be an american fotball player!

[@amazingalextv1]

Not gunna lie haven't cut my hair in a year tbh

[@rose_of_sharron3168]

I'm a climber and I cut my hair and so do all my friends and a lot of other climbers in the area

[@rrpeters]

As a climber what model van do you recommend I live in?

[@vcocciolone]

I've been climbing for over 20 years and this video was SPOT ON!

[@BirdSpyAustralia]

That's a bloody big rock face that you're claiming there.

[@emilylynch5140]

Except for the fact they put tape as a non essential 😶

[@raldogg515]

Vincent Cocciolone true

[@dougcrosbie4889]

Vincent Cocciolone i

[@breathoffreshair7795]

Lol ive been climbing for half a year and i agree lmao

[@FlyWithBrayden]

“haVE yOu SEen FrEE SolO?”

[@Trad_IsRad]

People who say that think they're climbers but in reality don't have a clue what's going on

[@kellimenear8195]

Yes

[@bradley2042]

Lol but I low key have

[@lewiswebstermtb7769]

Joe Rogan when he had Emily Harrington on ^^^

[@JdeMonster]

Alternatively Dawn wall.

[@baserapeumad2826]

the alpinist got me .... "is it winter yet?" hardly ice in austria this year.

[@nicolesulimani9331]

Step 22: Accept the fact that the climbing gym is now basically your home, and your actual home is only used for sleeping.

[@josephschade5783]

Dude, for the way from the gym to home you need ten minutes or so, in this time you could train on the moonboard. You can just sleep in the gym!

[@mrfrogg46able]

right

[@Roger-qu4qk]

My gym has a shower

[@nickroman1991]

Why is this so true!?

[@Lone38]

@@josephschade5783 ten minutes?! I need 50 :(

[@keithlaurenz3774]

Something along these lines would be a nice addition: "For a project like this, I think it is necessary to have two chalk bags on me. I like to have the Black Diamond course stuff for the crimpy crux section and Friction Labs ultra fine chalk for the sloper section. That, combined with Miura's on my left foot and Solutions on my right should make this 5.9 project go."

[@emilylynch5140]

I love friction lab

[@KitKensky]

I use the same stuff for my 5.4 proj.

[@nomadben]

I chorkled when I read 5.9

[@gregguerra870]

Who the hell needs chalk, buncha gym climbers you are!

[@Colestercamps]

greg guerra nobody climbs without chalk...... it’s arguably the most important gear other than shoes .

[@scottgutierrez9867]

You forgot about the bare foot 12 year old who never wears a harness, and is somehow way better then you.

[@alivingtree]

Theyre better than all of us because they have such a low body mass :'/

[@bettyp1773]

Scott Gutierrez god my friend is that kid

[@sambays5838]

Scott Gutierrez chomo

[@sorinvladu7021]

I'm right here

[@Tazrian100]

Isabelle E teach me how I can’t even make it to the top of small climbing frame 😂

[@Ryalnotch]

Very funny but you forgot to be shirtless for your "real" tries!

[@AlexisLandot]

Yank the roots ahahah I never related so much

[@skllStitches]

Boulderers are always shirtless and wear beanies. Geesh guys.

[@jackinblack19]

And jeans

[@jacoboconnell3319]

your hands never have enough chalk but the boulder always has too much chalk. there is no such thing as the right amount.

[@dudapenha_penha6101]

thiskid - Hazen O'Connell AAA@@@•ngaaa•Ba@••@@@xAa@^^%^@■@■aaaa@@•@@••@@AAAAagnaaa@^,@@@abagA■AN@;^@AABAbGaAaaaag@@@a@•agAGag@@■

[@5tr4nge75]

And wear down jackets all the time.

[@counternub40]

And never actually climb anything

[@StinkyMink]

The hiker asking questions😂😂

[@nathanthompson4077]

crimping literally everything you see

[@1c3M0nk3y]

Damn i do this so much. It's like a tic at this point i don't even notice it.

[@osric2847]

Meee

[@tannerm3240]

Didn’t even realize I did that until I read this lmao

[@that_cat21]

i did that at taekwondo the other day... the damn bricks got me...

[@laurenellison7592]

😂😂

[@toshsherkat7822]

Never shut up about Adam Ondra/Chris Sharma

[@MrDmonix]

and Daniel Woods

[@Wazoodles]

memorize wing spans of pro's so you can blame your height!

[@VonBobbeh]

nah we always blabbing about Alex Honnold!

[@hansonfilms6437]

Or Daniel Woods

[@ing.juanfernandovillacorta5700]

alex honnold!

[@joyfaithlove]

As a climber it's funny to see these videos

[@pamuva]

you have internet in your van?

[@joyfaithlove]

+Pamuva RAL I was going to make up some story of how I got these solar panels on my van that provides electricity for me which gives me access to Internet...but no, I'm just at a hostel...

[@VonBobbeh]

I was dyin'! bahaha 😂

[@nathanhesketh3875]

What grade you climb?

[@gooz0mbie]

Cringe

[@user-jl1sz7su4p]

If you don't have a van you have to have a Subaru Outback.

[@nomadben]

Can confirm

[@climber6477]

so true

[@21Trainman]

Can confirm. 2 of my roommates are boulderers. One drives a van and the other an outback.

[@rylankrepsbeats]

J indeed

[@tmmanuel89]

XV checking in.

[@desertsail912]

Step Whatever: Alienate all your non-rock climbing friends by describing the climbs you did in "rock speak" e.g. So yeah, placed this number 4 after chimneying for 15 feet then transitioned to this traverse for a wicked run out. I was so glad when hit this nice jug at the end.

[@yourmomsboyfriend3337]

After hand heeling on this sick sloper crimp coming from a gross bicycle off of start pinch I was able to throw to left pocket and campus a crossover to finish. Pretty hard VIntro if I'm being honest..

[@ajrhoads9362]

This is 1000% true...

[@GordLamb]

When your non-climber friends join you at the bar after a wicked day at the crags.. "Yo, that laid back crossover you did just before the crux of Filthy Pigeon was so sick. I thought you were gonna peel and rip that manky little .3 for sure." "For real you stuck that jesus hold like it was the last thing you'd ever do." "Ya that ledge felt so close.. I was so ready to deck." ... "Hey you guys wanna order some chicken wings?"

[@Neenerella333]

I alienate all my groups of friends unless they meet in a perfect venn diagram of metalheads/climbers/artists. Julie D is the only person who understands all three. She's my unicorn.

[@RunBikeDrum]

You forgot chacos and a 90's subaru outback with at least 50 stickers on it.

[@monicano]

Climbers' jargon!! (like you included in how to be a skier, road biker, etc..) to include any of the following: Slap, sloper, slab, pinch, crimp, cross over, jug, heal hook, bat hang, overhang, undercling, monopocket, side pull, layback, drop knee, highball, lowball, dyno, whipper, traverse, comp, cruxy, crimpy, juggy, chossy, pumpy, varnish, hueco, sandstone, limestone, granite, solid, hollow, run out, heady, onsight, red point, flash, lead, top rope, belay, dirtbag, chimney, offwidth, arete, cut feet, crack, stem, static, dynamic, greasy, grigri, pas, atc, ipa, locker, nut, cam, hex, dog bone, quickdraw, figure eight, clove hitch, munter hitch, back clipped, z-clipped, sandbagged, wag bag, anchors, bolts, crash pad, downturned, aggressive, approach, flapper, beached whale, top out, tufa, bomber, beta, crag jam, hand jam, foot jam, ring lock, knee bar, foot chip, finger board, break hand, ape index, multi pitch, sport, trad, bouldering, buildering, free soloing....to name a few :P Power sounds - Tssssaah!! Tsssst!! Talking beta should've included more climbers' jargon (still funny though) Boulderer should have the dude with loads of chalk slap hands together a few times and make the guy next to him start coughing and rubbing his eyes XD All in all, "This video ROCKS." Would be awesome to break this one down into different how to's for gym climbers, sport climbers, trad climbers, and boulderers (perhaps even alpinists and ice climbers too :P). Now that would keep you busy for a while! It would also help break down that massive list of jargon I wrote, haha.

[@1SyncGames]

monicano best comment ever

[@sah7920]

You're hired

[@tootsco7478]

Dont forget BARNDOOR!

[@Noahhh888]

You missed flag , rails and send

[@jacccs]

You forgot always blaming the belayer for everything

[@philosopherprince1]

Think I first heard "You totally hosed me on the clip" sometime around 1988.

[@jacccs]

David Dornian it was clearly your fault that someone else couldn't climb something. All you.

[@semmtexx]

It’s actually a thing. News flash, me short roping you for a split second is not the reason you fell.

[@TonySpinach]

Thanks for the advice, learned everything i need to know, going climbing for the first time tomorrow at the dawn wall

[@rakali0794]

Make sure what watch free solo before hand

[@kaiiverson1769]

Flashes v8 but projects 5.10

[@danieliplier9709]

Kai Iverson lead climbing is different from bouldering. But yes it's not so realistic....

[@ironichoneybadger5066]

this is too accurate, i'm the flash 5.12 and projects v4

[@braednwakl4335]

Yeah lol, I project v6/7 and lead project like 5.11/12

[@elidotson461]

@@ironichoneybadger5066 yeah

[@phillipdelaney2989]

This video is great! You really will meet all these types of climbers because I have been climbing for just one year and have already encountered like all of this. The sad thing is, this video really isn't exaggerated as much as you might think.

[@chuckybuilder]

'How do you get the ropes up there?!?!' And 'I climbed once and it was easy'

[@papapoot4999]

Move nail clipper to the essentials

[@emilylynch5140]

AND TAPE

[@5tr4nge75]

And Beanie.

[@feeneeyeeha]

Pirates of the carabiners..xDD

[@clintonroose4517]

You forgot to either heel hook everything or drop knee on everything

[@jacccs]

Clinton Roose well that's invalid because that actually helps alot

[@clintonroose4517]

Young Jesus Not when they tell you to heel hook every hold 😂

[@ferguscarroll5520]

*cough* knee bar *cough*

[@lukasmossnerler]

Gaston bevor the mantle crux

[@natevideos1234]

You forgot to put carabiners on absolutely everything

[@jasperfeldschuh3644]

this is so true. I see people at my climbing gym who will just put a carabiner on their water bottle or back pack for no reason. One person came to the gym with a massive climbing backpack that there was no way was completely full and he felt the need by screaming to everyone that he is a climber by clipping not one, but TWO pairs of climbing shoes to his back pack.

[@ricksmith4201]

@@jasperfeldschuh3644 Well, even if I had room in my bag I wouldn't want my nasty shoes in there, also some shoes are better for different things so sometimes it will help you out to switch shoes

[@Nerudah]

Jasper Feldschuh Def has more to do with airing shoes out than anything else.

[@Val.Kyrie.]

Rick Smith I was thinking the same thing, he might have a few sets depending on what he’s doing.

[@ChiseledStoneMusic]

4:28 "Pirates of the Carabiners"

[@gabrielletrepanier3255]

a clip of a climber analysing a route before climbing it - with all the over detail

[@stirfryjedi]

Climber standing in public miming his moves Ondra style

[@felixonwater]

yo guys you've missed the smell of climbers feet

[@arthurdent578]

*sniffs shoes* YUM

[@lutefisk1438]

and the mangled toes

[@Simonsays1312]

alpinist in his natural habitat

[@Simonsays1312]

I m here from snapchat btw :D

[@emilylynch5140]

As we witness the wild alpinist in hibernation until winter when he will finally send that 5.12

[@benjamincoram7036]

I agree with step 7, grading systems are the hardest part of climbing.

[@heynadine]

YESSS boys. Great job as always :)

[@ifhtfilms]

Filmed in your hood!

[@nicksmith9567]

"Have you climbed/ are you going to climb Everest?" Get it like twice a week

[@emilylynch5140]

They don't understand there's a difference between rock climbers and mountain climbers

[@Climbbase5]

Great vid and thanks for shooting some of it at our gym - hope you guys weren't too sore!

[@ifhtfilms]

Thanks for having us! We massaged each other and got all the "knots" out!

[@christianburrell5564]

+IFHT yet another thing you missed: group massages! Also, the never ending hot climber chick search that all climbers guys are involved in.

[@wyattsnikkers5616]

Skiing, mountain biking, Vancouver, and now rock climbing wow this channel is pretty much my life

[@SuperArcher2345]

"who bought this ipa?" the mountain biker

[@julesunger3014]

SuperArcher2345 we would buy that

[@JeniFan]

Whippers and lead head need to make it in here :-). E.g., something on learning to fall, working on your lead head, or taking victory whips. Also would be funny to have a bit on inconsistent grading in the gyms ("dude this can't be a 5.11a. It has to be a 13 a or b cause I would have onsighted the 11a no problem"), or how you have to down grade when going outdoors. Soooo funny. Thanks for posting!

[@Bemoderso]

For a moment i thought lead head was something like road head, now I'm sort of disappointed.

[@InsanePorcupine]

Hahhahah that Wilhelm scream 2:28

[@Loweene_Ancalimon]

Also called the Ondra scream :D

[@travislayes6024]

The one thing you missed is "walking by and saying hello" and them replying instantly " I've been climbing for 10 years.". Every climber I have ever met tells me how long they have climbed instantly. Great video though, I laughed all the way through.

[@mo4top628]

"Wilhelm scream" best one

[@janspale]

Awesome tutorial :D The progress you've made since your first videos is huuuge !

[@KentuckyAirBros]

YOU FORGOT THE IMPORTANCE OF FACIAL HAIR

[@cr8664]

And (the horrible) man bun!

Dreads are more common :D

[@Varilpsa]

Shit, i sport a pretty long curtain undercut myself, so i absolutelly have to wear a man bun i i want to climb without non stop touching my hair(it still looks terrible)

[@bob7191]

Vojtěch Míček aà

[@Olivergoodchild2]

Idea: how to be a mountain bike shop owner/sales person

[@erictaylor5641]

Yes! I'm a salesman at a bike shop. You get the most ridiculous questions like "do you fix motorcycles, scooters, wheel barrows, etc." or the people who are like "I'm looking for a 26x1.95 tube" and when you give a 26x1.5-2.2 tube they will be like "that's not the right size!" (face palm)

[@calumbarr7797]

+Eric Taylor lol

[@code3xiv]

Yea and make sure to convince your client to pay fortune on few grams he dont need.

[@chasemanley848]

at our shop we used to joke about how there needs to be a reality tv show about working in a bicycle shop, but then we realized 90% of the population wouldn't understand half the humor. However I'd still pay to watch if someone did it! :)

[@BigPurpleSkiSuit]

Step 1: Daddy's trust fund

[@dereklamers6617]

“Is it winter yet?” “Uhh no, not yet” *YYYAARRRGHHHHH*

[@nikolapaspalj4954]

How to be a skateboarder nexts plssssss

[@felixrothermel]

Great video! Perhaps you could add: Always add an extra grade to your outdoor climbs and madly embellish your achievements when reporting back to friends at your local indoor climbing gym.

[@KelvinClimber]

get facinated bye things like icefalls while climbing, i and my dad was at a sport crag in winter time and we just got facinated of the ice that were falling while we climbed

[@MultiJebusChrist]

The alpinist dude is basically a guy version of me in three years...

[@benbratko9904]

that you yet?

[@ads.ventures]

He's in the cave, no internet to reply.

[@danielengland3948]

Winter is over he won't be heard of again in years, only in legends

[@tomney4460]

@MultiJebusChrist you have very good taste in music, judging by your pfp

[@MultiJebusChrist]

@@tomney4460What can I say; I like my music spicy and brown.

[@Maxwaehrens]

2:25 I completely lost it at the Wilhelm scream 😂

[@williestyle9680]

How to be a guitarist

[@fangsman7]

OMG YES, that would have so much potential!!!

[@ProjectUnity]

Step 1. Learn Wonder wall and smoke on the water Step 2. Play both these songs at any and all social gatherings

[@jacccs]

DefinedART *Through The Fire And Flames

[@colesisler582]

Y'all need to do a 'how to be a hiker video.

[@VishalMody]

I click on the like button of IFHT videos before the video even starts.

[@ThomasGuldimann]

“Pirates of the carabiners” Nice.

[@VikWestt]

0:36 - is that Elon Musk pulling the rope in the background lol

[@EricNewtonfff]

you should've included a section on "proper" use of tape for finger injuries and making tape gloves!

[@bowlcut880]

pinch/crimp mugs are such a good gift idea

[@bradproctor6499]

Summer 2016 I watched the how to be a mountain bike as I was getting into that. I though it was hilarious and that you did a great job on the video. Now I'm seeing this and think it's all time funny!!!

[@Levy3o8]

After seeing this, I don't think I want to pick up rock climbing anymore lol. I like the van part though, vans are badass. I'd like to see "how to be a BMX rider" or "How to be a dirt jumper"

[@AshleyEllwood]

just try it!! its great.

[@ifhtfilms]

Really wanna do something about BMX and dirt jumping

[@Levy3o8]

+IFHT If you do do dirt jumper, you can't forget to add "Buy a drone" as a step

[@slumbergaming]

lol you don't want to do rock climbing because of a video which is obviously meant as joke?

[@Levy3o8]

Slumber! My comment was also a joke :P

[@Skyfox94]

2:28 you forgot the Ondra "aaaaarfgh!!"

[@itsajungle22]

Skyfox94 hahaha, just discovered his screams. A homicide victim makes less noise.

[@juliahwang1118]

These are really satisfying if you know what they are talking about. If not you just kind of nod and enjoy it.

[@tylerscott89]

"This video ROCKS" in the comments section

[@phoenixwatson215]

I wish they still made these type of vids

[@antoniosanz9774]

These people have way too little subscribers, they deserve more

[@marcopervo]

Ahh, the unrequested advice is a favorite. Because we all seek out a challenging climb in the hopes of an expert being there to give us the secret.

[@vitekola]

How to be a gamer next?

[@joeyfallon6154]

Yea

[@Daniel-nm7eu]

yes

[@igorniedzielski1759]

Step 1: Choose between a PC and a Console (This step may take an eternity to decide)

[@Levy3o8]

They could split it into "how to be a PC gamer" and "How to be a console gamer" to adequately make fun of both groups.

[@0ki7o]

Waaaaaaaaaay too broad. Do like How to be a CSGO player or some shit.

[@ReplayedCo]

you guys deserve more subs

[@TheAleontorres]

This video ROCKS

[@thatrealba]

That may be the best video on KZbin. EVER

[@AshleyEllwood]

Needs more beards brah

[@ifhtfilms]

We'll let you know when we hit puberty!

[@lukeuhlrich8302]

haha

[@monicano]

And protein bars, smoothies, and carb talk! haha

[@jameswilson2726]

I go to that climbing gym. It's pretty cool.

[@hunterrasmussen7304]

You forgot to mention the Crux of the problem.

[@elzeekador1619]

I've been waiting for this for sooo long. Could've seen more references to climber obsessions with professional climbers.

[@Yes-cj4yy]

Do how do be a paintballer

[@darraghobrien1028]

Pirates of the carabiners was an underrated joke lmao

[@liamtory6081]

You forgot the black diamond crash pad couch in your living room

[@DiscoverWithDima]

Jason's voice in this How-to cracked me up! btw, This video ROCKS!!!

[@TheVirIngens]

How to be a sailor???

[@rossh]

Wilhelm scream! Haha that's gold!!

[@katherineramsay1961]

you guys should do how to be a raft guide

[@the_real_bin_chicken]

2:37 that's my reaction whenever anyone offers me anything gluten free! hahaha

[@WanderlustVanlife]

it's so funny!!! love it!! good job ;)

[@aminebrahimi3948]

The Alpiner was just Amazing, Nice Idea :)

[@Moshington]

2:47 rake guy is literally my mood.

[@ktrendz08]

You missed beer in hand belaying/spotting.

[@streetBMX62]

I've watched this video at least three times and I only noticed now that It had parts filmed at Base 5 haha

[@conke7765]

But what about step 19?

[@ifhtfilms]

Shhh...

[@MacToolsAddiction]

What

[@jonkimochi1117]

Oh, there were 2 step 19's, it was just a number mistake

[@KuliKukur]

Pirates of the Carabiners! Awesome :D

[@nickarmonda5408]

how to be a skateboarder/longboarder

[@willstarbailey]

This Video ROCKS there are you happy now

[@dackbliamondexpeditions1928]

"with God as our witness we will climb 5.10"

[@1.0fishing17]

1:48 me trying to keep up in school

[@boulderjunkie3799]

This video ROCKS! Left of amazing , Amazing direct and White lion. CAT LAKE! Couldn't pull the beanie over my eyes.

[@thebikevoid2732]

;) Sarah Hart literally cruised Amazing Direct like 4-5 times for the sake of filming. Totally insane.

[@boulderjunkie3799]

definitely an excellent problem. scary though!

[@microwaveman2379]

Need to elaborate more on multi pitch stuff so much goes into it

[@Sean-mc4iq]

I just started climbing and don't know much of these terms. Time to learn about them lol

[@chuffer595]

My two worlds that never meet: climbing and KZbin. Always so weird to see them together

[@OwenMatthew_]

Step 22: Learn Your Favorite Belay Device And How To Argue About It. ATC or Gre-Gre

[@kyliem5812]

You guys should do How To Be A Competitive Runner (aka Cross Country)!

[@lachlangrime2596]

did you guys know when you start climbing you do not need cams,nuts and quickdraws.

[@ryanoneill5288]

This was scarily accurate, and its weird that I've been to all of the places this was shot