How to Catch & Prevent Micro-Cheating in Relationships

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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains what micro-cheating is and how you can catch and prevent it in your relationships. Watch now to find out what micro-cheating is and the reasons why it happens as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Discover, Embrace & Fulfill Your Personal Needs", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:46 - What Is Micro-Cheating?
00:03:24 - Reasons People Micro-Cheat
00:06:40 - Who’s Issue Is This
00:08:18 - 7 Day Free Trial Offer: Needs Course
00:08:27 - Communicating Unmet Needs
00:09:14 - What To Do
00:10:48 - Love Languages
00:11:00 - Check out this video: THIS Impacts Your Love Life WAY MORE Than the 5 Love Languages
00:12:42 - Conclusion
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #Micro-Cheating #MicroCheating #WhatIsMicro-Cheating #WhatIsMicroCheating #CommunicatingUnmetNeeds #UnmetNeeds #UnmetNeedsCourse

[@quokkolotl]

This type of behaviour once almost drove me insane. Its the worst, really. Broke my self esteem, confidence, trust in people, trust in my own Feelings and perception, broke my heart and mind into a million pieces, anyone who ist willing to do that to a partner they claim they love just to get their own needs met and use also third people like that, does not deserve to be called a partner at all

[@cledosliop4175]

If you have unmet needs, it's important to communicate with your partners so they can help solve the problem. Using micro-cheating to address unmet needs is so F dumb 🙄

[@MonicaKM111]

This ended my relationship. Huge disrespect I would not tolerate. Period. There is no excuse to not communicate and act in this way. Massive emotional immaturity red flags. IMHO.

[@lnrdo]

I have to admit, I had never heard of micro-cheating before this video and I was skeptical based on just the title, but this makes so much sense. It's really helpful for noticing little things in oneself and one's partner that might indicate that some reflection and communication needs to be done to make sure the relationship is right for both.

[@cancandoit]

If my man is in someone's dms flirting with her, he's cheating. ACTUALLY CHEATING. That's enough for me to end a relationship.

[@frederickhartray8364]

I acknowledge that you would have that view. I guess my view may seem strange to you. If my partner wants to have friends, that is their business. I would trust them to tell me if they get to the point where things are not working with me. Maybe I am naive and maybe I am more compatible with a secure attachment style partner.

[@MikeGainsM]

Thank you for this video. It’s very helpful🙏🏽

[@chrivera07]

When I married my wife I keep in touch with old coworkers females nothing out line with them but she got so mad when find out I was texting them. She kept in in touch with her old ex boyfriends and I never felt jealous of them!

[@frederickhartray8364]

The fact that she kept in touch with an ex boyfriend is the reason she has an issue with you. She is projecting her behavior on you. Maybe you could both take the attachment style quiz.

[@Mkr7942]

Thais, when this happened to us, we were not in the power struggle stage, more than a decade on. And I did introspect and I did communicate my needs which weren't being met( practically none), and it changed nothing. Hence we are where we are now.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. How are you doing?

[@crumplycowboy]

Which you and others call micro cheating. I call cheating I see any instance or know of any instance the relationship is over immediately

[@americanexpat8792]

As a graduate of Thais’ relationship consulting program, I obviously agree with much of what Thais said. However, I have to respectfully disagree on certain points. I am a HUGE advocate of conducting NEEDS analysis for BOTH partners. In fact, our schooling systems in NA don’t teach any relationship skills whatsoever. This is sad and I hope that eventually changes. What I would say instead of blaming one partner or the other, EVERY adult should conduct their own NEEDS analysis and redo that analysis throughout their adult lives. In a relationship, even the so-called ‘non cheating’ partner needs to be aware of their partners needs because they likely play a role in not meeting their partner’s needs. So, I’d say that it isn’t nearly as black and white as it may have sounded here. But the principal blame is on a culture who expects people to magically fall in love and live happily ever after without ever providing any ‘relationship training’ at all. This is laughable. If we trained our pilots the same way we do our relationships, a 737 would be crashing every single day. So, let’s change the culture and institute real relationship training, of which NEEDs analysis would be a central focus. It’s just that important.

[@miriamb2367]

I was very unfullfiled in every way, in a relationship. I choose to leave instead of cheating. Cheating shows that one person is okay with betraying and hurting the other person. It takes a certain dose of machiavellianism to do it, it's not all about unmet needs. Some people even have needs we cannot met, that they meet them via cheating, because a relationship doesn't fulfill their need for validation, their need for adoration, etc. I am talking here about the men and women who are deeply insecure and need reassurance.

[@alesik07]

@@miriamb2367I agree 100% with you. My last relationship was with a person with narcissistic traits. Needless to say, none of my needs were met. I never cheated on him, but rather chose to leave the relationship eventually. But I was micro-cheated on and literally cheated on multiple times. His need for attention and admiration was insatiable.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

@@miriamb2367 That's my approach as well. I also recognize that there are certain specific people whose needs I cannot meet, and they can't meet mine either. It is what it is.

[@DobermanDanK9]

This could also be a subconscious effort to create emotional distance, too? Would I be right in saying that... If so, if that's part of a deactivation, for example, you're losing someone you probably really care about, and also losing someone who deeply cares for you. For the sake of short term pleasure?

[@seanfrance3182]

How could someone be so selfish to blame it on “unmet needs” but don’t even consider their own partner’s needs (I.e. loyalty and honesty) it’s just adults being immature. Your partner isn’t supposed to be your constant entertainer. It boils down to the cheater not wanting to be with their partner and not being adult enough or respectful enough to end things or clearly expressing their needs. Most of the time the ppl they cheat with don’t provide much more than their partner does. They just want their cake and eat it to. These are toxic ppl that thrive on drama and faux “passion”.

[@frederickhartray8364]

Wouldn't you say that there are always unmet needs in relationships. I have secure attachment and have always self regulated for my unmet needs. I do see that I missed some unmet needs in anxious attachment partners.

[@gabriela.36944]

Subconscious or not, one word- weakness. They are weak. Their parents are to blame too as well as them. Cheating should be made a crime. Nothing less. Why? Because it ruins peoples lifes. Like any other abuse. No point talking about it.

[@lunab.7858]

Being cheated on is painful. But I think the people who struggle with it the most are people who aren't connected to who they are to begin with either. I've seen horrible actions being justified under the guise that someone was in pain because they were cheated on. That's not right either. And no, it can't be a crime because at the end of the day we all have free will. If someone cheats on you, and hopefully you find out and aren't in the dark about it too long, then the best choice you can make is to end the relationship or marriage. It's very hard to build a relationship without trust. We can't control other people but we can control ourselves. This is not to excuse cheating as a behavior, but to understand it. Cheaters are human too. It doesn't mean we need to accept their actions -- absolutely not. But if we hear what she is actually saying, it's that some people might not even trust that their needs can be met if their partner isn't someone they feel safe with. It's not a cut and dry experience for everyone. It is the responsibility of the cheater to communicate though, as she said. If your life is ruined after someone cheated on you, perhaps you invested too much too soon without actually letting them show you who they are.

[@AmericanDreamer]

Absolutely agree with you

[@ronmexico8383]

@@lunab.7858 It can be a crime and still is in Muslim countries. And literally used to be a crime that resulted in the death penalty everywhere and now just in Muslim countries. Jesus wasn't permitting cheating when he said "He who is without sin can cast the first stone." He was saving a CHEATERS life. They were going to give her the death penalty. Jesus then told that CHEATING woman to go and sin no more. Cheating is a sin. And throughout most of human history the death penalty was the just penalty for such a heinous action.

[@tasospat4919]

​@@lunab.7858 What you're saying makes sense but it's utopia. Someone who's cheating is unable to take responsibility for anything. They are useless beings and honestly they can go fuck themselves

[@fahimad5108]

Is wanting to go to a stripclub with your friends microcheating (if it happens) when you know that you partner is a FA with jealousy/trust issues and is not ok with it?

[@cancandoit]

Cheating is whatever two people define it as in a relationship. It comes down to betrayal and breaking trust.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

Depends on what your partner says about it, not random people on the internet.

[@CHK12319]

Microcheating is such a dumb concept in my opinion… You’re either cheating (breaking the stated boundaries of your relationship) or your not. My boyfriend and I have always been on the same page about this, thank God. I can’t imagine worrying about “microcheats” as an adult. We have bigger things to concern ourselves with.

[@sifublack192]

I agree.

[@KP-hj3tc]

so ur boundaries include letting ur man like and follow women hes attractive to. nothings wrong with that but its something u should get comfortable with rather than assume its not happening

[@CHK12319]

@@KP-hj3tc that doesn’t bother me in the slightest

[@KP-hj3tc]

@@CHK12319 alright then! based on how defensive u r im assuming ur the micro cheater lol

[@lunab.7858]

@@CHK12319 I don't think it's a dumb concept in and of itself. I think it just doesn't apply to you because you're okay with things that might not be okay with other people.

[@Chris-hp2gg]

We're all looking for strange. Variety is the spice of life. Afterall, we're not lobsters.😂

[@Medietos]

But is that not in the immature stage of youth, sowing your wild-oats, before realizing your deeper, truer need and wish for real intimacy, devlopment truly married and actual love? In true marriage, ppl don't cheat

[@cancandoit]

No we ARE NOT all looking for "strange." Stop roping other people into your bad behavior to justify betraying your partner's trust. If you want variety, seek a partner that wants to be in a polyamorous relationship instead of trying to dupe someone with false promises of commitment. And grow up.

[@Chris-hp2gg]

@@cancandoit it's always good to have a few "chick friends" on the side; set up a nice jealousy trap.

[@Tam_X]

Even though she did not appear to offer much in the way of psychologically informed analysis, thought the video was going to be an interview with the Tik Tok presenter. Im very glad it isn’t. For future, perhaps offering a visual clue that it is not the main content when opening with someone else as the presenter would help clarify.

[@emmaterrestrial892]

i thought the thumbnail & the fact that it only features thais was a pretty good visual clue :p

[@user-ku5vm5jb1h]

Even looking at half naked pics on any platform is cheating.