How To Create Repair in a Relationship (Part 2)

[@C-ll4eq]

This makes me cry. I don't think I have experienced relationship repair (in any kind of relationship) in the first 40 years of my life. To me it seemed early in life, nobody cared. And then without the skills later in life all I knew was to start over elsewhere when things had ruptured. It is amazing to hear how this actually can and should work. Thanks a lot for these guidelines in part 1 and 2.

[@annikabirgittanordlander6887]

”Ruptures without repair is a recipe for a painful, resentful and bitter relationship, all of which leads to the ruin of a relationship”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal 🙏😘

[@Tori_4]

Repair after a conflict develops trust and shows that both persons are committed to the relationship. Gotta be with someone that knows how to communicate and initiate repair. It's exhausting when only one person does it.

[@randideelancaster9904]

Yup I'm exhausted😢

[@kal9th]

Im tired of the stereotype that relationships usually end on bad terms but sadly its the truth because people dont really know how to communicate and just jump to assumptions. Thanks Teal for these insights and explanations❤❤

[@fcmiller3]

A friend relationship of mine recently blew up, ruptured, exploded. I sent a message that I would love to repair. She made it clear there would be no repair!! My nature is to fix things whether it’s it a car or anything. I have a hard time leaving something broken behind. But ya can’t fix relationships alone!!! That’s called insanity!!

[@Nina_Kowsari]

In the example part when Marie is asking Jonah the questions, I feel like I can use Teal's energy as what it looks like to actually share hurt from a vulnerable place instead of instantly turning your person into an enemy. I imagine that makes a world of difference.

[@VeganBambi]

what questions is Jonah asking to understand Marie and her pain? it doesn't matter. that example was just an excuse for teal to get women to accept polygamy.

[@aryanalfa2444]

Unlike tango, it takes just one to destroy the relationship.. What a masterclass Teal!

[@liamjefferson9591]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.

[@jack-gx]

I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.

[@Jose-lz6cw]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@jack-gx]

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@liamjefferson9591]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@creative45630]

I think most of us already know instinctively when a relationship is unworkable tbh.

[@dougmccoll6126]

yes unfortunately we weren't born with Teal's handbook to keep things aligned "properly" when they were headed off the rails. Most of the time we don't know how serious things are until the damage is done, watching this is fine...but getting a genie back in the bottle...might take some actual magic. Like real magic.

[@Morale_Booster]

This is unbelievably thorough! You thought of literally everything, it's super fool proof!

[@dougmccoll6126]

never underestimate a fool. Just keep that in mind. And who is the fool? This is always open to interpretation from at least 2 points of view.

[@thomasalbers6102]

Amazing, how you had chosen the examples. Makes my heart ache, realizing how far my relationship went beyond repair. Just peacekeeping and killing time.

[@aryanalfa2444]

"Turning a Tango into an unchoreographed two person solo dance" Great expressions by Teal!

[@Nina_Kowsari]

Thanks Teal

[@Nina_Kowsari]

I Love the questions in 5 minute mark -- so clarifying in terms of figuring out what we need the resolve to be in order to caretake the pain of rupture.

[@TealSwanOfficial]

Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/how-to-create-repair-in-a-relationship-part-two-r591/

[@erniedelgado2019]

HEY TEAL, YOUR SESSION ON CREATING AND REPAIR WAS VERY DEEP AND INFORMATIVE ! YOU ARE VERY GOOD TEAL ! THANK YOU, AND GOD BLESS ! 😊 ❤

[@PeterDeMarco-fk1ph]

Hey Teal. I wanted to let you know that we " I " love you and your real truths and wisdom! Most blessings blessings 💯

[@LitBroBeats]

This is the most helpful video that I have ever encountered on this topic and the amount of work that was required to create this beautiful piece of contact. Thank you so much.

[@AMBERTAYLOR-s8c]

I’ve had this issue, my partner usually denies my reality that he even looked at her…? Very gaslighting!

[@RossEricJamesAustin1001-0110]

Earth is a really painful place emotionally. Grand beautiful expectations, that commonly end in bitter disappointments. Thanks for incarnating and taking the ride with us Teal. Your work makes it bearable, and videos are like a soothing balm of reasonable logic.

[@mirimelissafromvenus]

your words resonated deeply with me man. I feel the same way!

[@Martyna-sw1yw]

Teal, I would love it if you made a video specifically about social anxiety.

[@davidboardman1817]

You’re amazing!!! Thank you for what you do!! I have read many books and listened to many lectures and you are at the top!!! Thank you for all you do 🙏🙏🙏

[@jamesmullaney5841]

Cf. - John Bowlby: Attachment, Separation, and Loss.

[@racheal74]

This. Video was very helpful and made things more clear for me and also a confirmation for me to take only my responsability and not theres. Thank you❤

[@katharineanonymous6992]

Watching these before headed to the Austin workshop today!!!

[@mariacamilacepedacuellar7831]

nice jacket!!!! Thank you for all you content it has been instrumental in my growth

[@lemarginalmagnifique8547]

Super vidéo ! Bonne année ! 🙂 C'est toujours compliqué les ruptures... Bah, les filles, laissez tomber les ex, si vous voulez enfin trouver un mec bien, je vous conseille le livre "SÉDUIRE L'HOMME DE VOS RÊVES", de Nathan Stone. Le gars est psychologue et tout apparemment. Une copine m'a dit qu'il y a tout ce qu'il faut savoir, clair, pas de discours superflu, le top. Elle dit que ça a changé sa vie et ses relations carrément !

[@carml222]

Come to Australia TEAL 🌻

[@namasteawake]

Both videos have been SO good! Thank you! ❤

[@TimothySmith73]

Miss Swan , You are quite informative. Sometimes we want to fix things, yet can't cause we don't have the tools. You fix and help that for some of us fools. @ this blockedhead Cheifly among them. Anyhow THANK YOU. I hate being in the dark about things. Wondering why I am acting a certain way. What not. You bring light to some things. It's appreciated.

[@JadenJahci]

“Mustang Sally” ~Wilson Pickett

[@CrossWatcher1111]

Nice timing, Teal! 😊

[@sherlinefenelon818]

Everything you explain in that video happen to me in my previous relationship at the he call me Drama queen 😮😮😮

[@whatever2106]

You’re a literal god send ❤ thank you 🙏

[@venusoutergalaxy]

Nice suit!

[@MissOne]

I'm willing, but they are not. so.... alrighty then.❤❤❤ I tried 😢

[@FernandaTeles30]

Thank you Teal 💗

[@alex-ander-13]

Thank you

[@elliefeelslight5918]

Thank you Teal

[@virginiadupont7082]

Thank you.. and is ee a very blue aura around you 💙

[@xianmatar4961]

Your videos are very inspiring and knowledgeable, but you leave me with the thought, that this is very idealistic goals for relationships that not many would be able to live by. I haven't met any men, that were able to work on a relationship in this way. I think, women are much more self aware and mature in this matter. So what can we do, if we don't find a man that we can have this ideal relationship with? Do we live our life alone? I did this for far too many years for exactly those reasons. But it's not something I recommend and I would like to change it. I would like to be in a relationship.

[@viknopoly]

Thanks Teal

[@zion367]

This is all cool, but how many times do we meet people who would answer these questions honestly??? I know most people would lie when I would ask them these type of questions because they can not see themselves as good people while simultaniously answering sensitive topics honestly.

[@steffikaysince1996]

What do you do if you have caused many unrepaired ruptures over the years? My partner and I are at breaking point after 10 years because I have promised behavoural change that I haven't followed through with and now he quite rightly doesn't trust me and my apologies are ineffective. Issue is, I still don't know how to action what he wants, which is why some of the change hasn't happened - and he has said he has communicated enough and won't tell me exactly what he wants. for example - he has communicated that he doesn't feel cared for. I have promised I will make him feel cared for. but if i try to sit with him while he games he gets annoyed, if i cook him his favourite meals he says he doesn't care, if i buy him a gift he says he can't be bought. if I cuddle him he tells me to get off, and if I give him compliments and tell him I love him he says I'm being a bumlick. to me im trying all the love languages and nothing works

[@Yawncruz]

This feel good I think I’ve always been the one to say stuff like this but only got gaslit and well yea I’m not better than anybody I just feel like I want to get along more than most

[@HaydeeJane]

Teal, or anyone, how do people ensure that step 6 (along for what you need) does not fall into control and manipulation? Eg I need you not to look at other women so I feel valued and prioritised. I need you to spend more time with me...

[@RaederlePhoenix]

If my partner is too stressed during the work week to be fully present with deep or important conversations, should we sweep feelings under the rug until we can talk more constructively on the weekends?

[@dniellepino]

Love this!

[@creative45630]

Why do I feel like I’m going to get a defensive response if I raise what hurt me?

[@useuseuse9939]

YOUR VIDEO IS VERY UPSETTING

[@marieo5417]

Very very helpful 🌸

[@julielakshmi7532]

Thanks ❤

[@Xr2-8fan_810]

Good morning dear Lady! Love you!

[@YuvalAskenazi]

Hey Teal, is there a chance that you will produce a video about the 4 elements (earth water air fire) inside a person?

[@StayCURIOUSWithUs]

Amazing words

[@kal2487]

This is brilliant although I don't think I'd be very good at it, because it's so obvious to me that people have every right to stare at someone beautiful however... just don't do it when you are with your significant other because it's rude unless you know they don't mind or are into that stuff. That fact that I would have to even have a conversation with someone about that is already aggravating. So that's a fail for me. Does anyone have examples of this has worked for them in real life?

[@janinemelanie8391]

I do. However I can say that even when you get past it you do remember and it’s always a painful memory when it comes up.

[@zion367]

I agree. Unless agreed upon the turning head is already a bit sus

[@janinemelanie8391]

@@zion367 unfortunately men get told basically it’s their right to do it because they ‘are visual’ and if the woman is upset it’s juts because she’s ‘insecure’ and has issues…. When it’s just straight up disrespectful to everyone involved

[@kal2487]

@@zion367 I think. most of us have an involuntary head jerk to look at someone beautiful but that's different from leering and undressing someone with your eyes. First seems normal and the second seems rude.

[@jacksonv-p4m]

Sometimes it’s tricky determining who created the rupture. I quit my job which wasn’t right for me, unhealthy environment and it didn’t align with my values, my husband was really pissed off. Said I should suck up the condescending unsupportive and toxic situation at the workplace. I refuse to live my life like that. Have I created the rupture here? Isn’t it better for him if I’m happy in my work? I’ve since got another job I’m happy in but the rupture lingers. Who created the rupture here?

[@dougmccoll6126]

I am the flip side of your situation. I stayed in a job that was just what you said, unsupportive, toxic, it made me feel insecure and eventually, not just unhappy but I began to feel like maybe I was too picky, or expected too much or was too sensitive (which I know I am, but embracing this was hard when it is constantly brought up as if a flaw). Anyway, I felt helpless, losing confidence in myself eventually. Afer a few years I realized what the truth was and I became resentful at the management at work and the situation. I started letting my anger out..a bit at first and I didn't feel understood by my wife (we were dealing with lots of parenting things them too but I blamed my wife for not understanding what I was going through and how hard it was on me. And the wedge began. Further apart..no one felt heard. No one seemed to do anything except expect the other person to do something that they felt was not possible at the time. Sparing a bunch of details we are separated now but I want to have what we once had...I am just having trouble trying to feel good again and make up for things I have let happen.

[@jacksonv-p4m]

@UCQlWrftWLg6oyyTVXBZ2X1g Hey yes would value any thoughts you have!

[@spiggity8]

I would think that not supporting you in doing what is right for you is definitely going to cause a rupture.

[@vixenxiiiv]

❤ love teal

[@deannarobinson4065]

So . . . on Step 6 if "Marie" has worked really hard on her own self-esteem, and her own attachment style, and on creating and cultivating harmony . . . and she asks the question, as you described, from a place of curiosity & love... but Jonah just . . . simply . . . doesn't answer. Instead, after a very long pause, looked her in the eye and said "I love you." before leaving the room.. . . . then later accuses Marie of "emotional terrorism"... does that mean that there is serious incompatibility???? I'm thinking it does. I'm feeling it does.

[@aight33]

It means that he is a MISOGYNIST who does not respect women, including you. He gives himself the entitlement to sexually objectify women as he pleases and to turn it around on you and make the disrespect your problem.

[@lemonmochi8669]

thats ignoring and invalidating your pain. either you were scared to be vulnerable and passed the question off as something that doesnt really bother you or dismissive of it like oh yea i dont really mind just curious, orrrrr the guy just doesnt acknowledge you and isnt willing to participate in repair with you. ie you want to dance but hes like nope. so i guess my next step in that scenario is to directly ask him if he wants to dance and if he doesnt then im not gonna dance for both of us.

[@Mamastired420]

Watching this, I realize I don't phrase things well because I'm uncomfortable with conflict. I was wondering why my husband always took issues I brought up as a personal attack.. how I go about these conversations does sound like attacks instead of trying to understand. Thank you, Teal. I hope we can get better at resolving our problems now. Things have been hard since we had our daughter.

[@666Abaddon777]

thank you Swan.. :)

[@margaretcylke1469]

sweet, i always tell people u want a relationship learn to ball room togethet

[@nadyc.lassk.4426]

Love it ❤

[@gmlgml780]

Yeah. Another smaller ton of words about using your sober, better mind when something flaw happens.

[@useuseuse9939]

YOU ARE GOING TO BE DEALING WITH A BIG PROBLEM IS COMING YOUR WAY

[@useuseuse9939]

MAKE A STEP BOOK YOUR OWN

[@matthewpai]

Bingo !

[@tammycrymes7832]

Sometime you just learn to let go if the other person had hits on you and your child and your husband knew and they tell you still they have feelings for them time to let it go

[@KandyKoatedKrafts]

🥶

[@Naturehealingperspectives33]

🔥🔥🔥

[@Andrea-Rose]

💚💚💚

[@paulden3158]

Wise Homess Schwan is her rap name

[@Matas-b1q]

i was in the sect of keylonta and it did damage

[@LuisRomero-bw1jp]

Fought

[@Hairyderriere]

I wish everyone success with their relationship repair. But it won't work for me. After 27 years of patience, endurance and listening, she repeatedly threatened to kill me in front of our children. Then she gave all of our family money away to her brother in another country when the kids had finished school. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Total betrayal. This, after years of NPD abuse, heavy drinking, cutlery throwing, rages, moaning about how much attention she thought she deserved. Repair that. Because I can't. But I sincerely hope you can repair yours.

[@bAa-xj3ut]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@Sunnetje]

I want to restore the deep connection with the sigma which is the most difficult thing since they are very specific.

[@El_Gavillain]

I would love to meet this woman and really get to know her full beauty. I want to get to know her good side, her bad side, her ugly side, her crazy side, her spiritual side, and any/all hidden sides to her.

[@viknopoly]

😊

[@RolferShannon]

Does that mean that teal made up with Blake?

[@TopperPenquin]

"Why No Metal Kettletons ?"

[@TopperPenquin]

Oh! yes, I will be back, I need this one.

[@TopperPenquin]

I see you've the Handy Dandy Blue Motif

[@TopperPenquin]

How very... "CopperBased of You"

[@Sunnetje]

Dear Teal Swan, your advice only seems to work on the alpha male and not on the sigma male/ lone wolf. Is it possible for you to dig in to the sigma male/ lone wolf please?

[@PabloMartinez-w8e]

😘👍

[@Sunnetje]

A Phone call to express myself is no option for the sigma male. Neither is small talk. Please help like with a: How to restore deep connection with a sigma/ lone wolf trough texting/ voice message specific. These males are so unique!

[@freeyourmind112358]

Lmao im Jonah

[@DrAnkitJangid]

Ok

[@nav579]

I feel sorry for anybody who buys what she’s selling.

[@georgeporteous8201]

3.6 years teal's average marriage.