How to De-Escalate An Angry Child

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop

[@alexandracatomio7217]

Hello from Austria, Europe 👋🏻 I just wanted to thank you for giving us parents real advice and tips on how to practically go through challenging situations! Most channels only give hints, nothing concrete. Thanks a lot for sharing❤

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Aww! I’m so glad my videos are helpful to you! Thanks so much for reaching out.

[@aliyahussain1748]

I am a mum of 2 girls (5 and 6) I've just watched your video and just want to say thank you for the clear n concise tips. I will definitely be trying them out with my girls, especially my 6 year old who is finding it extremely difficult to control her emotions at the moment. She gets very angry and frustrated and this is having a noticeable impact on her sister, who tends to give in to her when she feels that her older sister isn't happy about a given situation ie when they are playing and the older one doesn't get her own way. My younger one is becoming quite passive for this reason which is not fair on her. I love watching your videos and feel like you are a bit of a life line. Thank you xx

[@Larienne]

Please make another video about circling back! That was rarely/never modeled for me as a child and I need help. Thank you for all you do!

[@TheMomPsychologist]

You got it! I touch on them in an upcoming video so stay tuned. :)

[@carlybusch6601]

Thank you so much ❤

[@Smallworld2024]

ty ❤ and editing is getting better and better 👍🏻

[@kristinawoodward111]

I've been watching your recent videos about anger. I was wondering if you could do a video specifically about being angry and hitting. Nothing seems to calm my 3 yr old. I created a calm space in the bedroom but it makes him worse. I try validation or talking to his emotional brain but he literally tells to "stop talking". I have had to hold him to stop him hitting me, he definitely experiences frustration easily and expresses the word "not fair" but sometimes he gets so angry he just wants to continuously hit me. The only thing that seems to work is riding it out.

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Great question! Tell me more about what you do outside of the moment, when everyone is calm and connected?

[@kristinawoodward111]

@@TheMomPsychologist I talk to him about why it's ok to feel angry but not ok to hit. Other times when he calm enough he's happy to choose the other option besides the one I said no too. For example we have made friends with our neighbours cat and he became very attached to it but the cat got really fed up of him following him around the garden so my son kept crying and screaming for me to get the car back when it ran off. I said I know you want to play with him but let him have a break he's tired, lets play with your car's whilst he sleeps. He got so upset I decided to pick him and take him to our calm down area and then I just had to ride out the anger and hitting whilst trying to keep us both safe and saying I will not let you hurt my body. When he was calm he was happy to just play with something else.

[@manjolamujo9670]

@@TheMomPsychologist My 3 year old daughter is exactly the same and when she gets angry like that and hitting, there’s usually nothing I can do to calm her down so I usually just sit quietly and let her ride it out. Sometimes she runs out of the room and goes to a different room and I’m always questioning if I should follow or not. When I have followed in the past it’s made things worse so I now try and let her have her moment alone to calm down. I do circle back later when she’s calm and try to find out what triggered her but I never really get much of an answer. Maybe I’m not doing it right so would love some feedback.

[@tikab7051]

My son is 3 and is very stubborn and persistent. He is learning aggressive behaviors from his classmates. He’s learned tantrums and yelling as a way to gain attention because their student to teacher ratio is high they have to gear towards the most disruptive or loudest child. I guess my question is how do I counter that at home do you have any videos explaining how to counter school influence or even poor coparenting influence

[@wendy8617]

Great video and advice. I’m finding it hard to manage my 8 year old sons anger, hitting, spitting when he is told to turn off the TV at night. We have a digital timer, which counts down and we give him reminders that the time is coming to an end. He always wants to watch “just one more”! And when we say no and turn off the program he hits out. Any advice would be welcome. For reference, my son is neurodiverse.

[@TheMomPsychologist]

I would start with a digital detox. No tv or electronics for days. I would say something like “since it’s been so hard to turn them off, we’re taking a break.” Then before you re-introduce screens, set clear expectations “when it’s time to turn them off, I expect you to turn them off with a good attitude” and then roleplay and practice so he knows exactly what this looks and sounds like. Then right before he turns on the tv , remind him of expectation and add “if we have a hard time, we’ll be taking another break..” and then when it’s time, instead of a timer, try setting a clear ending point like one episode. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to finish an episode so test out this vs cutting it off based on a timer. If he has another aggressive episode, I’d give screens a longer break so you can focus on building emotional regulation skills. Hope this helps! Please keep me posted on how it goes!!