How I Respond to Escalating Behaviors

These are steps I take to handle the different stages of an escalating kid. For more escalating behaviors, see Part 2: • Escalating Kid? (Part 2)
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Polly Bath is a much-loved consultant, trainer, and keynote speaker. She helps schools dramatically reduce behavior problems, increase student SEL skills, and build strong school cultures supportive of all learners. Her strategies include strengthening teacher behavior and SEL toolboxes; building strong behavior Tiers 1, 2, 3; and building school-wide systemic approaches to behavior and SEL.

[@henryskalitz4628]

I would like to apologise for formerly being a kid with the chair.

[@laurelg6727]

That was an awesome and hilarious response 🤣

[@elsacapote6063]

🤣 you still are

[@wojciechprzybysz5416]

Me too🙈

[@letsgetit90]

Is that you, Henry?

[@davewilson6313]

Like most capital offenses, being a little shit has no statute of limitations. Please report to your nearest AG's office for processing and execution.

[@elliebellie7816]

Honestly, if the kid sat down in a chair, anywhere in the room, I would consider that a victory. It's the vulgar language, the sass, the talking back, the challenging words (what are you going to do if I don't do what you say, hit me?), being ignored completely, kids coming and going from the classroom - just get up and walk out or come in five minutes before the bell, and much worse.

[@dananamontreal5933]

YES! I am dealing with the same.

[@sicpuppy9435]

I have been a prison officer for over 17 years and it gets way worse when they become adults.

[@twoknightfall3722]

You can shake hands with some of the paraprofessionals . They behave just like you , in school settings . Unacceptable .

[@marisainfelise1101]

As a special education teacher, my training supported my mindset with students with escalating behavior. Technically, the student sat down in the chair. I would have quietly went up next to them and said "thank you for following my directions" for some positive reinforcement and for them to recognize they actually did follow my directions. It's allowed me to be more empathic, "pick my battles" for lack of a better words, and build better rapport with my kiddos to further support them.

[@jannetteberends8730]

Before becoming a teacher, I worked two years with teenagers with behavioural problems. On a training, the trainer once said: create your own battles, by giving them rules you don’t care to much about. So the fight is about using a fork and knife instead of your hands. When I became a teacher I had a set of nonsense rules, for example that they weren’t allowed to open the windows without my permission. (I’m from the Netherlands, so this is a strange rule) My vision on bad behaviour is that the kid don’t choose that behavior, it has no control over it. So you look together how to solve a problem. You automatically got in a praise situation then, because they always manage to do a bit of the new behaviour. It worked most of the time.

[@hmac163]

Similar, choice making is a good strategy. "Hey Michael, do you want to sit here or over there", "do you want a wheelie chair or a library chair", "do you want to work here or in the office", etc. Put in choice everywhere. Math class-do you want to do ten minute math or times tables first? Do you want to answer all the odd numbered questions or evens first? Etc. Giving kids some self-control can be powerful.

[@jessicamessica2271]

Lol I feel like that's actually a great idea for a kid that's trying to be the class clown. They want to be defiant. But you embarass them a little because they actually are following directions lol

[@jayraydntplay]

🎉🎉🎉

[@alexcenteno7909]

I just started my job as a paraprofessional and this is the first job where I've ever had to work with children. I had my first dose of a student with very disruptive behavior and when I took him to ISI I will admit, I let the behavior get under my skin. Watching your video gave me a new direction for immediate action next time this occurs, I really appreciate it

[@JonFilmzzz]

I’m in the same boat currently. Lol. I hope the video helped and you’re finding the job much easier and rewarding.

[@sergiougalde1110]

I'm at my wits end, I work with teenager students that are not only violent but lack manners and education. 90% of them have absolutely no interest in learning anything, they go to school only to get money from the goverment. They won't keep quiet, pay attention or even get into the classroom. Just a few days ago, a teacher was hit with a hammer multiple times in the head just because the student wasn't happy with his F- grade. Sometimes I regret being a teacher.

[@letsgetit90]

Where do you teach at?

[@karenwilson5445]

I'm an early childcare educator & I'm always looking for info regarding what to do/say when a child escalates. However, trying to de-escalate is also part of my job description. I'm always looking for stuff & strategies for that too. I believe that children & adults should encounter the consequences of their words & actions because if they don't get the consequences until much later it can be a severe reality check as well as not having the resilience to cope. Thankyou

[@remb714]

You confirmed some of the things that I did in my classroom and also I learned so many things from you... Thank you so much

[@mimi7434]

I'm going to use this with adults as well. This video is so valuable.

[@larrychuanico6943]

It's good to hear from you. Thanks for the heads up on how not to escalate. The more we answer. The more pissed they get. This is why teachers are good. Teachers have been My heroes since I was a child

[@Dylvente]

I love these longer segments, especially this time with a visual demonstration. Very helpful. Thanks for sharing!

[@Polly-Bath]

Thankyou!

[@tims.440]

Wow. These videos are incredible. Thanks!

[@shomonalofton8907]

Great video, I am big on discipline, restorative practices and as a in school suspension instructor I look for new ideas to bring to my room and support teachers. Many times we put up a fight and that's giving them the full they need to burn. I have learned as a previous preschool teacher that this works. Timing is everything!!! This was awesome. Thank you!!

[@elisadamaso5404]

Thank you so much for your great work. I enjoyed watching!

[@traceylamarre8631]

You are a breath of fresh air!

[@missdonna9896]

I feel it! I really used to get into it with kids. Until I figured out it isn’t worth it anymore and it isn’t helping anyone to scoop to their level and bicker. Then eat up the entire class time fighting with one student and copycats. You have given really good advice. Both as a school bus driver and substitute teacher. We aren’t given all the training and tools that teachers are, so we have to learn along the way

[@user-pw1dh1fv1v]

Thanks I'm teaching 5th math for 14 days. I really needed this lesson as I'm struggling with a few students not listening.

[@vanillapearl9986]

Wow yes timing is everything!

[@shelbyanne04]

Thank you! This video in particular was really helpful, and was also part of my ECE course. I love the way you explain things to us.

[@Polly-Bath]

Thank- you, Shelby! I love that your course is talking about this too!

[@kirstydodsworth8461]

This video has been so inspiring , this is a mirror image of what I experience in my school setting. This has helped me to have a better understanding in de escalation and preventive strategies to use. Thank you,

[@Polly-Bath]

Thank you Kristy👍

[@sofiaandkariinthekitchen6196]

Thank you for all your information.

[@really2345]

In Japan, all students are required to clean the interior and exterior of the school. There are few janitors on staff. Further, when students begin their education, they are put in a small group of five or six called a han. They learn to work cooperatively from a young age. If there is any antisocial behavior on the part of a student, the entire han is punished. The han will then address that antisocial behavior after school.

[@sergiougalde1110]

In Mexico, at the state where I work, students don't even clean their space, they litter, burn the trash cans, hit their teachers with hammers, and don't have any help from the authorities.

[@stelladavis7832]

@@sergiougalde1110 That sounds horrible and will affect society when they are older

[@CCGarland]

@@stelladavis7832 Factual, my friend. Even now, we can look at the state of current state of Japan's workforce versus Mexico's.

[@meathelmet41]

They help prepare and serve the meals and clean up dining area.

[@Toribell1928]

I work at a school in japan and we have behavioral problems just like in American schools😅 some worse lol since there are rarely behavior plans in place and there’s no real consequence such as lost recess time. A school can try to get the kids to cooperate but at the end of the day, a lot of it is their home life

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Nice 👍 I love your strategies

[@andriaknobel5241]

This is very helpful Thank you 🙏

[@comdrive3865]

Thanks for this content. Works great on adults!

[@Polly-Bath]

Great point!

[@maryannfrank6749]

Very educational I. So. Much. Appreciate you taking your time to. Share educational wisdom Thank you again

[@Polly-Bath]

You are so welcome! I appreciate it very much:)

[@Vyoish]

This is PD we would ❤to see..such a practical training

[@idahomie7003]

These kinds of kids want to do a comedy routine with you, and you’re the straight man. Don’t play the part.

[@missdonna9896]

One thing I learned never to do is make threats you won’t or can’t follow through with. The kids WILL call your bluff at some point or another

[@rasooljabbar6877]

Thanks

[@soyjoy9279]

What if the administration gives no back up. Nobody comes when you call. Or worse, they take the kid out of the room, give them candy, and send them back 2 minutes later?

[@sarasensational]

That is exactly why theres no structure at some schools

[@Snail320]

I've heard this story many times. I appreciate all that the speaker is saying, but today's kids, especially little ones who went through Covid staring at a TV and not being socialized, are far worse! These small kids need an abundance of interaction with other children, learning vital humanizing skills they missed. The emphasis on test scores and numbers dictating what teachers do, is misplaced. Little kids need each other more than they need us. Children will teach their peers all the life lessons they need to know. Sounds strange, but it's true.

[@ceeonigeria-unsdg4663]

This is very good behaviour management! Ma'am, as you go ahead with the instructional activities, do you carry the child along or not?

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Hold the child accountable 👍

[@brianmorrison7542]

"All The World's A Stage, And We Are Merely Players" If the kid has an audience, they'll act out

[@cw7735]

😂 right on time for me! You just saved me and the child!😅

[@saffron6634]

Where can we find the full video please? ❤

[@BR-dl6tz]

Thanks a lot. This is very helpful for me.

[@StopWhining491]

Putting more negative energy into an already escalating situation just fans the flames. Remove the energy to cool things off.

[@seagull9631]

Thank you for informative video 🙏🏻 I’m learning about the school psychology field. I heard some information about working with difficult behaviors. But I don’t know how accurate it is. Since you know special education laws , I taught to ask here 🙏🏻 I appreciate if you can guide me . I was talking to a school psychologist and that’s what she told me : a child is acting dangerously in a class , he/she is throwing chair or running with a scissors ( considering the teacher has removed all children from the class for their safety ) as a school psychologist , they send you in the class by yourself to calm down the student . But if the child starts to chase you with the scissors, you can not leave the area . Because if he /she happens to injure himself , you will get sued and you will have to pay for medical expenses. I got confused about this scenario because you either need to choose to get sued for child negligence or paying lots of money for his medical needs or choose to get injured . I really appreciate your opinion 🙏🏻 that would be great help

[@Polly-Bath]

In an escalated situation...administration usually recommends to not go it alone. Most schools have crisis teams...intervention teams and/or CPI or other trained people to respond.

[@letsgetit90]

@@Polly-Bath From the story I heard from many teachers, they don't get support when things go bat-crazy inside the class. Even when the class has to evaluate due to the child throwing things and flipping the desks over 😢. I also have witnessed these things myself.

[@miaadam1574]

What if the curious sensory seeking 5yo child who’s delayed and doesn’t mean harm empties boxes and sometimes runs out out of the classroom as teachers try to grab him but then then get pushed?

[@lisabourque1321]

Awesome

[@davegravy492]

Good job Polly! Lucky I was always a good boy in class......

[@vwilliams8196]

but what happens when you don't have a resource aka administrative support.

[@TheMagician1]

Wow!!

[@paulacarlson8802]

What do you do when you ask they child to "stop immediately" and they respond with "I wasn't doing anything"?

[@Polly-Bath]

Sometimes the best response is no response. Don't get pulled into the power struggle, they clearly heard the direction....

[@Amanda-cj2ui]

I love watching these videos, however can I apply these concepts at home? I understand teachers have a rough go with kids, but sometimes the situation is flipped lol

[@Polly-Bath]

Yes, absolutely. The principles of responding to escalation are generally the same, whether dealing with a kid or an adult.

[@mariariu8175]

The child will see it as he is winning and then he will misbehave even more

[@smickyjackson594]

We are so frustrated with our 5 year old he is the child destroying the classroom. 4 months in I don't know what to do. The school calls everyday for early pick ups and discipline chats he hits spits tosses anything in his way. And they just keep saying he's smart so no learning disabilities....scared he's going to get expelled 😢

[@RaphaellyRaphaelly-KalimbaHike]

Is your child scorpio sign?

[@danielcleary1072]

What do you do if you are a substitute teacher?

[@letsgetit90]

These kids will test whether you are a sub or a new teacher. From my experience, you will have to be firm, but I do include humor and jokes. Finding their interests and getting to know them would definitely help you in building a bond with them. That goes a long way when you are subbing again with them and building a rapport with the teachers/schools. If the kids like you, then the teachers sure will love you! That is one of the things I learned during my student teaching and subbing as a PE Teacher. A lot of teachers Don't trust subs unless they know you or if the kids have a strong and positive response toward you. The same goes for the PE Teacher world. For the rules, you should double-check with the teacher about the situation inside the class. Each room has its dynamic structure. Kids will try to test you, but if you hold your ground, most of them will respect you. Also, ask the teacher how they handle things and tips for the class. Following and using the class routines will help you as well.

[@tiadavenport5465]

How about a five year old who comes into the room and starts throwing chairs and runs around and laughs. I have to evacuate the class for safety. Explain this one. Ignored and it gets worse.

[@kneazle3603]

What incredible empathy 🙄

[@Zzyzzyx]

All this is only possible with the support of administration and *parents* .

[@missinterpreted4923]

Exactly!! And that's the problem. In the school where I work, I see excellent teachers let down by their leadership team time and again. I have witnessed a 7 year old demand to be sent to the principal's office! He knows that once there, he will be coddled, and joked with, and get to use an iPad or do some colouring in.

[@nuclearknight8543]

My kid is so much worse than any of this. I’m at my wits end we had to change schools because we moved out of town. He hates the school. He even stood up, saying I F🤬ing hate this school in his class room. Now we live in Texas. I have a few guns they’re in a big safe I’m the only one with the key the ammunition is in a different safe. My son has a BB gun that stays in my gun safe and well today he decided he was going to tell a kid that he’s going to go get his gun because the kid was threatening to take something from him , my wife is the kind of mom that just laughs at everything. She thinks it’s funny. She says things like oh ha ha the things that comes out of my sons mouth and he gets in no trouble but if I try to step up and punish him in accordance with what he has done, she jumps all over me in front of him. This is one of our biggest problems in our household is that he knows he can get away with anything he does, or says, and because of it it has made him very conscious of it, and very entitled, he throws a fit at school like a baby Until the teachers let him have his way because they don’t wanna deal with him. He is not my biological kid and I’ve done almost everything I can I don’t know what else to do. My own father told me just to leave but I’m not built that way. My wife tries to blame me.

[@anacampos5220]

Why instill guns, Even if not real.

[@gabrielanavejar4524]

You sound like a good person. Set ground rules, talk to your wife, let her know things need to change in your household if this is going to work. Set ground rules for both the kid and you guys as parents what you can and cannot do, set consequences and do not reward without having the child work for it. That's what I'd do. If not then make it known that you can't stay in a relationship that way. Its not the best advice I know, but should be effective. If done right things can really change for the best.

[@AlyseNicoleO]

This would be great if EBD kids ACTUALLY STAYED IN CLASS.

[@JeJeSamuel-tl2vo]

by sbowiing them the otber way round

[@sungkim742]

Doesn't work on Cartman types.

[@canterlevi]

I admit I got played today by a 2nd grader. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@jamesof7seven]

I'd like to see that with, ahem... urban kids.

[@MG-fr3tn]

" don't you get enough attention at home".

[@cavemancaveman9746]

Too bad nowadays teachers aren't allowed to take a recess. So, talking to them on their time doesn't work. Also, nowadays instead of one or two behavior issues you might have one or two dozen. There just isn't time or the resources to chit chat one on one with each of them. Behaviors are out of control now. There are no consequences, no accountability for student behaviors.

[@kimberleebrooks-trakis9563]

Best thing is to take away their audience.

[@lawrence1960]

Try this crap in catholic school!

[@shelleyh2967]

I don’t like this. This is treating the symptoms not the cause of the behaviour.