HOW TO DECLUTTER EMOTIONALLY HEAVY THINGS

[@susanbrady1671]

My mom is a self proclaimed "sentimental hoarder". Over the last year, she has been going box by box from her garage. She's given my siblings and I boxes of our kindergarten artwork, old pictures, etc. She said she'd rather do it now than leave a big mess for us to clean up when she passes away. I've thrown some away and kept some. I really appreciate her effort plus I think it's cathartic for her to revisit these things and then move on.

[@debbiemclean1090]

when I realised I would never have children, I'd had over 10 miscarriages my dad suggested writing a letter to my unborn babies. It took me months to write, with only my dad and I knowing what I was doing, but I did it and sealed it up before dad and I offered it up to God by burning it, along with a posy of flowers, in the garden. It was still difficult to accept I'd never enter that season of life but it helped ease my soul that it wasn't in God's plan xxxxxxxx

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Thank you so much for sharing that special moment with us Debbie. How kind of your dad to understand and be there for you. ❤️

[@debbiemclean1090]

@@Nourishingminimalism My dad and I are so alike he knew what I was feeling and although he was a man of few words he was especially wise, I miss him every day xxxxxxxxx

[@Simply.Mariela]

i've been decluttering for years but struggle with sentimental items. thanks for the help :)

[@momof2momof2]

This reminds me of the day I was finally able to go thru my late husband's things. Our children were in school, and I spent a couple of hours clearing it out, being angry, hurt, sobbing, so many emotions, pure exhaustion at the end. . He passed from colon cancer that went into his liver. We only knew he had it for 3 weeks until he passed away in my arms. That was in 2009, and it still hurts, and always will, but I'm glad I was able to get thru it. There have been several passings since then. Recently my long time boyfriend passed. You just have to keep things in perspective, and keep moving forward. My belief is I will see them all again in Heaven. But it is so important to remember that you will always have the memories of that person or event. Thanks for the video. 🥰🌞🌛🥑💗✝🌸

[@endur5nce]

keep going forward 😢💞

[@j.nickel3244]

"... if we don't do that.. then the people around us, end up losing us. " wow Rachel... you nailed it again. Thank you for your simple wisdom and encouragement.

[@Nourishingminimalism]

❤️❤️

[@djjazz1388]

Yes, that is so very true.

[@NLY1WAY4U]

Realizing that the extras of sentimental stuff for me is of no sentiment to anyone else. So, if I can part with it, no one else is bothered by my choice. Thank you for helping me to realize if sentimental and tucked away, it is of no personal happiness to me. If out to look at, then it makes me happy.

[@amandachase7691]

I love the idea of writing a letter to someone who is no longer in your life. I think this would be very helpful to many people.

[@miriam4235]

That bit about not having to acknowledge the end of something really struck a chord. It's eye opening. And there are lots more nuggets in this video. Thank you!

[@ruthmgonigle5914]

I struggle with the emotional side of decluttering because I am so sentimental. Thanks for some additional tips and the acknowledgement for how hard it is. 💗

[@beachprints]

I can relate to all you are saying. I have been in the process of decluttering journals, bible and conference notes, Master degree and Bible college notes. It is so hard to get rid of these things. I have gotten rid of a lot. Is is hard to let some of it go. I have been doing it in stages over the year. I feel like I have to get rid of a lot of it this year. I need a simplified space. I get that all these "things" that remind of of so mucher are like you said "HEAVY." I also understand not only grieving losing a season of your life, but losing people. Yes, some of them are still alive. It still hurts that they have "Left" my life. Then, there are many griefs of losing my son, and both parents. It isn't just what you lost that was part of reality. It is also what you "wish would have been if things had been different. A grieve the relationship developments I didn't get to have, the conversation we didn't have, the things we didn't get to do...I don't think we ever get over these things either. My son could not have a "normal" life due to many medical complications since he was 5 1/2weeks old, He missed out on so much and so did we. He was non-verbal too.

[@sarac.3259]

Thank you so much for sharing. Much of what you say applies to me. I often feel surrounded by others who have no clue of the sadness (not all the time but in the background at least), so reading some of these comments is helpful. Rachel talks such sense and is always kind. I am sorry you are without your little boy. Yes, I believe we will meet all the people we miss one day.

[@sis8521]

Dear beach .He didn’t miss out of anything, he was with you all the way. Watching you like a hawk , standing right by your side. Like a steady rock , not a boy but grown a man. He honors you ❤ with lots of love as much as you also send him lots of love. What a lot of respect & love between you 2 ❤

[@karenwade9654]

After my parents passed, I scanned all the photos in their house, so now everyone in the family has digital copies. Just last night, I started shredding the huge tubs of originals. No one wants them, and they are getting smelly in my garage, but I was still feeling guilty about getting rid of them. Until I saw this. Thank you. It is time to lighten my pack.

[@andrewbrendan1579]

Great and timely comments, Rachel! Some items I've wrapped, though just in a specific bag, before discarding. This is semi-connected to your comments today: I had a difficult, unresolved relationship with my father who died in a highway crash in 1982. The last time I saw my father was in his office. The building he worked in is being torn down and yesterday evening I took some time to go there and to look at what remained of my father's office, just two unrecognizable walls remained up on the second floor level. It wasn't a major life experience for me to go there, but it was a beneficial experience that has me feeling more freed from the past. Shortly before my mother's death she ordered me to burn her wedding album. She didn't want strangers looking through it after she was gone. I haven't burned the album yet (I need to find someone with a fireplace or something similar!) but what a blessing that I have not only permission but a clear direction about what to do with the album.

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Thanks for sharing Andrew. It is very nice that you have directions from your mother and permission as well. It’s strange that such small “ceremonies” can help us so much, but taking time to acknowledge something definitely helps us.

[@barbarabruce7648]

How did you get so wise on the psychology of decluttering? I know you had a plumbing basement incident that propelled you into it, but your reasoning for lightening our load to experience a better life is so right. Your advice is real "Sage" information. Thankyou.

[@susantonkin287]

Hello from the UK...Love watching your videos...We moved home recently and took over three hundred boxes and one hundred bags with us...It cannot fit where we are what were we thinking...So a massive declutter being nearer to friends we have help with tip and charity shop runs...one hundred boxes sorted in three weeks...Exhausting but we keep going...

[@Minnesotacoffeetrails]

Due to mobility I always struggle with removal. I am pretty good at keeping it out. I love your channel!!

[@andrewbrendan1579]

I hear you! I also have some mobility difficulty because of arthritis and and damage done by a cortisone shot that turned into septic poisoning. Walking and standing can be painful and tiring. A great way to not have clutter is to not bring things in in the first place. No clutter and burdensome items to remove later.

[@mr.brayman2627]

I have been thoroughly enjoying your videos. My husband likes my enthusiastic decluttering too! We look at our feelings as compasses that lead us in a direction, good or bad. It feels good to thin things out. Thank you for your uplifting videos. God bless you all.

[@julietannOsfan1972]

I don’t have other people’s ornaments etc but I do have a lot of paper items, such as pictures, (photos) greeting cards & letters etc & there’s no way I’m getting rid of them. These things are really special to me & bring me a lot of joy. I’m gradually putting it into archival page protectors in ring binders.

[@RhondaTowanda]

Excellent video! This will help so many people! I still have no regrets about getting rid of my parents, and my oldest sisters letters. It was just time to let go. Rachel you are such a blessing to me, and to so many others! So happy you are in my life! ♥️🧡🌻🙃

[@Nourishingminimalism]

🥰🥰🥰

[@Margo714P]

I doubt I can ever get rid of my sister's letters. I have about five of them. She was 17 and full of hopes and dreams when she wrote them. Now she is 58 and brain injured. Those hopes and dreams are gone, along with sight in one eye and her short term memory. The old memories are there though. When we talk, we talk about life before 2000. So I hold onto her letters, tightly. Her real self is in them. The cute, giggly young girl. I guess I can't accept what happened to her. Not sure I ever will.

[@RhondaTowanda]

I would keep those kind of letters too. Treasure those! Sorry to hear about your sister. ❤️

[@Christinalovescats1958]

Perfect timing. My dad passed away in October 2021. I have what is left of a major clean out to sell his home. Many of the items have memories and others are a little valuable. It's the clothes that I am having difficult issues. My father was a merchant seaman that left Greece in the 1950's.... he jumped ship to find a better life in the USA. He grew up poor in Greece and these clothes remind me of how far he has come. Every one that knew my dad said he was the sharpest dressed Greek.

[@teri8964]

Save a few that mean the most to you. My mom passed away a short time ago. We were best friends. I had a hard time letting go of her clothes. I want them to go to someone that will appreciate them. I saved a couple of items that were too big for her, and I hated that she wore them. But, when she passed, they were the ones I couldn't part with! I put them in a memory bin with a few other things I couldn't let go of yet. Maybe someday...

[@jom6320]

Saved Mom and Grandmas stuff in a memory box. I never had alot of clothes but always kept in my closet a dress my ex husband gave me 40 yrs ago. I loved him but it was an abusive marriage just today thanks to decluttering more lately, I took it out in my gravel driveway here in the country gave it honorable incineration felt finally free, dont know-how I kept it doesn't matter now. Great info Rachael good job

[@wanderinghome9979]

Superior. Superior. Superior video. I have enjoyed your content for some time now, but this was, in my opinion, your best work yet. Hands down. You wrote it and delivered it well, but truly, your voice is given by The Father for comforting and bringing people through the process of emotional grief. Very much like Marrissa Zen. You have a natural ability to sooth. Blessings, sister. :)

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Oh Thank you so much! ❤️

[@bcvahsfam]

This is a GREAT video! You have really put a lot of thought into this or have researched it well. This was very helpful to me! Thank you!!

[@nancyposluszny6504]

I really enjoy your videos.

[@RockDove5212]

I knew you knew rhe Lord, and that He was in your life before I heard you say so! ❤. Your videos have helped me to organise, declutter, live simpler and feel freer. More time to read the Word of the Lord and to hear his voice clearer. Thank you xx

[@Nourishingminimalism]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@debbieandfredw.6915]

I don’t know the words to express my sincere gratitude for you. You are an angel to me! ❤️❤️

[@pennysara9814]

This is a particularly brilliant video. Thank you, Rachel!

[@clara3322]

I agree Penny Sara, well put!

[@kennethbailey9853]

This was so thoughtfully put together that I know it will help many.

[@catfancier270]

I was having trouble decluttering. Then I noticed a couple items made me smile. And that became my criteria. If the knickknack or letter doesn't make me smile, I don't keep it.

[@debiethredge3020]

So much wisdom here. I had to do all of the things you mentioned except ask someone to take out and and write letters. We were in a situation to leave everything behind we didn’t want and that is a MUCH easier! More t it’s very hard for me. But I think I can take a few of your hints again and move forward

[@rajeshwarihemmadi3229]

Timely .. as I need to Declutter & now with my wonderful mother’s passing away it’s all the more stressful & painful

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Im sorry for your loss, that is very difficult ❤️

[@liztefft5312]

Thank you, Rachel. This is so helpful!

[@judysbakeryandtestkitchen1654]

Excellent tip about having someone else take it to the trash!

[@Margo714P]

Actually I have found that putting something in the trash and seeing it there helps me. It makes me SEE the item in a different light. It makes me into a person just looking at 'trash'. Most things that we have will eventually end up there anyway. Right now though, some of that stuff I can't seem to part with, but as I age it's getting easier. I realize that no one else will even care about it after I'm gone and they will easily toss it.

[@judysbakeryandtestkitchen1654]

@@Margo714P I put a dress into quarantine. I had tried to get a spot out. The spot came out, but it also made spots all over the dress from the spot remover. I put it in quarantine, and two weeks later I was able to throw in the trash myself.

[@lindabourketempleton4040]

With fifteen years have gone and I still have things of my late husband’s. I gave away his toys to his nieces and nephews fifteen years ago but have his first plastic teddy and the bunny I gave him and another he gave me at an Easter. That is the time we got together

[@Margo714P]

One of the problems I have with the emotionally heavy things is that they really don't take up that much space. I have everything in a large tub. I really have no incentive to get rid of this stuff. I won't really gain that much space, and there is no upkeep. It's just mostly papers and a some small items. It's there though, weighing me down in other ways. I know this, but my brain makes excuses and tells me 'it's no big deal, you need the stuff, you need to hold on to who you were, the hopes, the dreams.' It also tells me that I will regret tossing certain things big time. Why does my brain do this to me?

[@MercyUS]

🦋A temporary solution I’m finding useful is to upload to a cloud server photos of sentimental items. Takes up less space (not counting “outer space”😆). Photos & documents can then be accessed or sent to others. Suggest studying file folder management for some form of organization as the process evolves. Labeling & tagging what’s in the cloud is useful to retrieve with a word search within the system. Rachel, your thoughts & expressions of this emotional attachment to the sentimental is invaluable. Thanks so much; I’m grateful.

[@kimsenn5024]

Great advice!

[@nicholetteburris3925]

I'm really struggling with photos. Not having them, but having lost a great deal of my babies' first few months (all the hospital photos, all the first step and daily baby newness). Someone accidentally deleted them. Here's my issue. I used to scrapbook. Beautiful scrapbooks. Loved it. My children love looking at these books from before they were born and they love when we scroll out phone photos. I want to scrapbook again. I want to have physical photos ... But the feelings of overwhelm from losing some, and the fear of not knowing how to scrapbook the current photos in a clutter-free way, stop me. Dead.in.my.tracks. How do you preserve the photos and memories from your children's lives without creating more "stuff" than is appropriate. (Also, because this holds true for me, how do you display your family's past especially because you've dealt with past issues and divorce.) I really need some answers and I'm not sure even where to begin... And this video (although beautiful) is hard for me to apply to photos, memories and sentimental daily "ephemera". Thanks Rachel!!!!

[@Serena.Hope.Eternal]

Nicholette, I haven't watched this video yet because I read comments first. But I do know that Dawn The Minimal Mom has KZbin videos on keeping a memory bin for each of her four children. Each child has their photos through the years and some special memories that you, their Mom, will recall that you can give them a story about. She, Dawn The Minimal Mom, also retains the best of each child's drawings, homework and other types of memorabilia in each child's bin. I bet the children will really appreciate photos of their father in their personal bins also. Copies of your wedding photos too. (Linda mentions this in a following post about wedding photos after divorce.) So my suggestion is to have a memory bin for each child. Dawn mentioned that one bin per child won't overwhelm the children when they are grown and they will have room for one reasonable sized bin with cherished memories for them. May I suggest that you write notes to each of your children to place in their personal bin for them to read when they are older? Mind you, I don't have any children of my own LOL ~ but your comment touched my heart. I'm really sorry that those photos were lost on one of your children. That is heartbreaking! 😢🥺 I really wanted to reach out to you with hopefully helpful info I heard from a mother of four. I hope this helps. 👋 🥰 💙 💙 💙

[@nicholetteburris3925]

@@Serena.Hope.Eternal yes, I've seen that! In fact it was what took a great deal of the overwhelm away. But I'm still so confused about photos. 😅

[@endur5nce]

I need help reclaiming my house, decluttering, I've become a hoarder. I need some company like Midwest Magic Cleaning; 2 strong guys with compassion & understanding and the muscle and stamnia to see it all through and I want to help all the way too.

[@lindaroyal8161]

I really like your direction on decluttering. Problem - I'm having a real struggle with books. Not nice books with beautiful covers or great literature works, but school books. Books from my high school days, I graduated in 1969. I know they are very outdated and I have not opened them in all these years but a couple of times. I was raised by my grandparents and taught to respect all books. I even have a couple of each of their grade school books, which I will never part with. I know my old books are not of any use to anyone but can't figure out where to dispose of them. I'm against the landfill, I recycle as much as possible. It seems so sacraligious to tear apart a book to recycle the paper pages. Thrift stores don't want them, they're too outdated. I live in another state now, but pretty sure the library in my home town wouldn't be interested either. They would make good props but too expensive to get them to any place that would use them in that way and probably dispose of them and not store them later on. No judgement zone, I have 4 boxes of my high school books. And...I don't do crafts. I also have 2 sets of encyclopedias, my childhood set (1950's) and my daughters childhood set (1970's). Anyone have some much needed help with this issue or suggestions. TY. PS...I do have 2 large bookshelves with my collectors editions that are beautiful and styled nicely that I enjoy. Thank you.

[@janeorganizes2024]

I mean no disrespect with my comment, but sometimes we have to acknowledge that they will end up in a landfill when we go. We can thank the books and dispose of them in the most realistic manner. I heard some say once: we have the choice to use our homes as a landfill or take xyz to the landfill. I wish I could have a better answer (and maybe someone else will) - just my two cents.Best, Jane

[@MercyUS]

🦋 omgosh! I’m trying to donate about 100 + professional books. I’m sick at the thought of filling a landpilt with books. Salvation Army used to move important books to 3rd world countries with Missionaries. The shipping cost to send books overseas is prohibitive. Cant find an organization to accept them. Recycle centers don’t take the hard covers. Paper is recyclable; I’m not able to remove all the book hardcovers. What in the world will happen when we toss books, and one day they’re out of print? I actually thought of creating something out of the books. Perhaps enclosing stacks of them in clear lucite as a coffee table? Some facilities as Senior Apts. will accept paperbacks.

[@lindabourketempleton4040]

I burnt the clothes my husband died in ,it was a workplace accident he died from. It was seven years after the death and prior to a new marriage.

[@lindabourketempleton4040]

I decluttered a wedding album of a husband I divorced, I should of offered to children. I thankfully have loose photos I am boxing up for them with their baby photos

[@thelaceyadair]

Hi Rachel! I am trying to join your Patreon page, but it won't open. I even searched you through Patreon and your page won't open there either. It says that I don't have access. Just wondering if I am doing something wrong? Any one else having this issue?

[@Nourishingminimalism]

Hm, I haven’t heard of issues. Maybe Patreon was down for a bit? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Just in case I have the wrong link: www.patreon.com/RachelJones?

[@lisagavin3402]

OK, here`s a tough one...... My brother died in 2007; I have his baby book. He had no children. I cannot throw out. What can I do with it???? Help!

[@MercyUS]

🦋 I’ve saved pieces of art, certificates, trophies, personalized clothing for my family. My Adult child tragically died and I’m tearfully trying to revisit, honor, upload photos of items to a cloud service & then perform a Sacred “burn”. It’s taking me a long time to do this, but the loss of my child has been painful and this person must be honored and remembered. As the parent, I want the memories honored & not thrown in the trash by anyone else that doesn’t have a significant connection to my loved one. I hope this is helpful for you & God bless your brother in your heart.

[@shellyjay8954]

Save it. It’s precious. Doesn’t take up much space.