How to Discipline in Public | Q&A with Dr. J | The Mom Psychologist

[@TheMomPsychologist]

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[@nikkizsd]

My son is very shy and strangers try to talk to him a lot (he is also very cute, lol). He usually hides behind me but sometimes he gets mad if they are persistent, understandably. One time he straight up screamed top of his lungs at someone in public in front of a whole restaurant - I was super embarrassed and said sorry for him but I shut down and didn’t handle much else after that. It’s been a couple years since then and have learned that not forcing apologies, one-on-one conversations and deep connections that start with a hug or an affirmation “I’m here for you” or “we are a team” get me a whole lot further with him then scolding him and making him share my embarrassment. I try to model the behavior I want him to follow every day especially when it comes to interactions with other people. Just out here trying! 😮‍💨 THANK YOU for all your insights!

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Ahh, these moments are soo hard. It sounds like you handled it well in the moment by apologizing for him and I love all the work you've been doing with him since then. Rooting for you guys!

[@LeslieStrate]

This was so helpful I love this concept of privately having those conversations and not always assuming the situation either

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Aww thanks for letting me know. So happy to help!

[@simplydanielle00]

I would have handled it similarly. I don't like to force my kids to apologize because they're not really sorry...at the moment they probably can't even process what they did wrong. I see so many adults now apologizing for things that they aren't sorry for and also saying sorry when they don't even know what they did wrong. One of my goals is for my children to understand what they did wrong and how to emphasize in the right situations.

[@TheMomPsychologist]

That's such a great point - they probably haven't even processed what's going on and what they did wrong. YES. Thanks so much for chiming in!

[@jordanjoy3297]

Hi moms, I wanted to chime in on this one. I haven’t been able to watch the forced apologies episode but I wanted to contribute. So with forced apologies, yes I think they are fake but how should we mirror kindness without guiding and showing them how to apologize. Also, I think with this situation, I would’ve pulled my child aside and asked her what happened. It would not matter why she spat on someone, I would educate her that that is not nice behavior and that if something is wrong, she needs to tell an adult before she spits or puts hands on someone. I also wonder how old the kiddo was, mine is 6 so this would be appropriate for her but I’m not sure how this would work on a younger child

[@summi505]

This exact happened to me, my child who is 4.5 , he spit on hospital receptionist, I forced him to apologize, because I felt very embarrassed. I was probably wrong forcing my child but I couldn't think that moment.

[@TheMomPsychologist]

Ah, I could only your level of shock and embarrassment. Parenting in public is so hard sometimes. I hope this video helped clear up your questions.