How To Eliminate Damaging Belief Patterns | Shelly Lefkoe

In this talk, parenting expert Shelly Lefkoe explains how underlying belief patterns are formed, how they affect our lives, and how these subconscious constructs can instead become empowering tools for a fulfilling life.
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IMPORTANT TIMESTAMPS:
01:23 What is belief?
08:36 Teachers didn’t know everything
15:47 Underlying the pattern of your beliefs
20:29 Here’s why our beliefs stay with us
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ABOUT SHELLY LEFKOE
Shelly Lefkoe is co-founder and President of the Lefkoe Institute, and the founder and Parenting the Lefkoeway.
One of the most interesting things about Shelly's work, is that she focuses on training parents to raise kids that have healthy beliefs about the world. These kids grow up being unstoppable. They grow up loving life, and avoid many of the issues regular people develop from bad childhood indoctrination.
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[@jcepri]

Several people are saying that she didn't address how to get rid of beliefs. Here's the only strategy that works for me: Repeat the belief out loud to yourself every morning so that you are aware of it. Then, very consciously, notice when evidence presents to the contrary. At the end of the day, make a list of observations from the day that contradict it. For example: Belief: "I am terrible at public speaking." Evidence: "I did a presentation today and it went very well." You can get rid of old beliefs by holding the belief in your head while also thinking of the contradictory evidence at the same time. Sooner or later the evidence will knock the belief off its feet and you'll be able to move on. The Santa example is great. At some point you were presented with evidence that Santa is not real. In the same way you will realize that your defeating belief is simply not true. You need to repeat this process for a several weeks. Just keep noticing evidence to the contrary and consciously note when you notice it's an outdated belief. You need to FEEL it, though. Let it sink it by meditating on the good feeling it brings when you see it's not true. I hope that helps.

[@Becky-ol4tm]

Thanks for the tip. I didn't care for the Santa example because it was something that was done only once a year for maybe a few years. Although I liked where she was trying to go with it I would've liked to of seen a more day to day example. I'll have to try to think of my own. Best of luck!

[@sanyam8840]

Sorry to disturb u but I'll be free to ask u for your opinion. I thought I'm super self confident just so i could realize in this video that my core belief is totally opposite(not worthy). How is then possible that I don't care about people opinion and in most of cases I receive my confidence boost when they judge me(quite contradictory, isn't it? Thanks in advance. All the best

[@TheBobford71]

I would literally love to sit down with this woman an discover how to use the process.

[@sanataj]

Her late husband Morty Lefkoe has videos on youtube. Under the client's channel name - Joe Vitale, there is a series showing him actually using his method with a client. It is really good.

[@elkepool3861]

thank you Shelly, you are a beautiful person. This really helped me, I needed to hear this.

[@cynthiadaoust8461]

She is great....makes you realize that you must grow up and make your own decisions! If you are not born in NY, you may not appreciate the mentality.

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

What's so great about NY? 😂😂

[@sanataj]

@@ASMRyouVEGANyet I don't get the message that you must grow up and make your own decisions. Do you? And what does NY have to do with it? Her late husband Morty Lefkoe, the inventor of this theory, understood the client's thinking and didn't tell them to grow up and make their own decisions. He went over what caused their limiting belief, how to question the accuracy of the belief and conquer it. Joe Vitale has those videos on youtube. You can also read about the theory behind it on the websites. He has an institution in his name and some therapists are carrying on his work. it definitely says to acknowledge the validity of the client's thought processes when forming the belief.

[@sanataj]

Thank you for uploading this. If you could increase the volume in future, I would appreciate it, as my computer does not have a very high volume on it. Thank you.

[@DJSTOEK]

❤❤

[@alandelillo1880]

Very good, but she did not reveal how to get rid of the beliefs!

[@selectiveoutrage6617]

Yes she did but if you haven't gone through the process with a trained facilitator, you wouldn't recognize it. Pay for one session. It is a real eye opener. Generally the same price as a run of the mill CBT session with a psychologist but much more effective, Actually, a lot of therapists and psychologists have trained in the Lefkoe Method for the very reason that their patients never improved much before. If it's a licensed medical professional your insurance might pay.

[@jcepri]

Here's how..... Repeat the belief out loud to yourself every morning so that you are aware of it. Then, very consciously, notice when evidence presents to the contrary. At the end of the day, make a list of observations from the day that contradict it. You can also meditate on this by holding both beliefs at the same time. The one that seems truer will win out. The Santa example is perfect. Once you saw evidence that Santa doesn't exist, you stopped believing it and you acted accordingly. I hope that helps.

[@DavidCruz-wo9jn]

Save your time. It's a 20 minute sales pitch. The speaker says she will tell you how to change your beliefs but never actually tells you how or gives any steps you can try on your own.

[@rogerherbert58]

I got a lot out of this. There were some real gems.

[@victoriastewart83]

you need to take the course to get the benefit of the program - you can't get it from a 30 minute talk

[@selectiveoutrage6617]

@@victoriastewart83 You don't need a course. Pay for a session with a facilitator and then watch the video again. You will see that she told you but you didn't recognize it!

[@selectiveoutrage6617]

@@cocuzzicocuzzi6804 lefkoe.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/requests/new

[@justinecho]

I just finished reading a book about schema therapy and am now reading "The Lefkoe Method" (the book of her husband). The book isn't expansive and nevertheless describes the process with many case studies. The "Lefkoe Method" has a very similar aim to the methods of schema therapy, although latter seems less straight forward.

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Her accent should come with a warning.

[@SSoumah100]

This presentation implants/reinforce the negativity in the mind of people, rather than implant positive words - dangerous for people already feeling worthless - Should be removed from KZbin

[@kmtaylor88]

Agree

[@pantherlit]

Did you watch the whole thing? The process works by identifying already held negative beliefs and becoming aware that that is all they are beliefs--not the truth. Then positive beliefs can replace them. It's not easy but possible.

[@RP-nl9ce]

Very true

[@selectiveoutrage6617]

You can't put a clean rug over a pile of dirt in your house and pretend your house is clean. Until you eliminate the negative beliefs, the positive ones won't stick because deep down you won't believe what you are saying.

[@TheBobford71]

@@selectiveoutrage6617 You just described for everyone the true meaning of stress. Two belief systems doing battle for ownership of the mind.