How To End An Affair With Someone You Love - Support For The "Other woman"

[@MyNicole59]

It’s so many people who are involved with a married woman or man but are too afraid to speak about their experience. After searching so much on KZbin, no luck until I found your video. Thank you

[@katelondon01]

Hi Nicole, It definitely can feel challenging at times to find the right support in this type of situation. I'm glad you found our community to support you on this experience you are navigating. Welcome :)

[@heather4089]

I was in a relationship with a married man, for 5 years, till I began feeling uncomfortable about my own behavior of accepting a relationship like that and I said no more.

[@Sandra-jx7jl]

I agree. Such a great channel

[@Namelessly554]

@@heather4089same, three years with a co worker at the airport. Everyone knew and saw us, but I began to be so humiliated by it I had to stop. This is like our fourth time cutting it off but It’s a for sure because IM TIRED and want to be guilt free happy this year

[@hershey05]

Kate.. thank you for doing this. I’m in sooooo much pain. I’ve been trying to leave this situation for 4 years now and I don’t feel like I’m going to be able to make it. This relationship made me very good at lying to people especially myself. I feel so lost and hurt. And finding your video is like grasping on a life buoy ring in a middle of ocean of pain and confusion.

[@katelondon01]

It's not an easy path to travel at all Hershey Concepcion. If you want further support please connect with me here: katelondon.com.au There is also the membership community you can join which is invaluable. In the membership community you will be able to connect with other women going through what you are going through and no longer will you feel like you are drowning alone in all this. Pain shared is pain halved ❤️ If the community aligns with your needs, we would love to see you there! All the details are on my website as well katelondon.com.au Take care 💕

[@karenweaver4798]

I worked for him. He's a Dr. We got caught.. we are both married. I lost my job. This has been 7 years ago... I have lived through the embarrassment in a small home town... I stayed away 6 months after it happened and went back... In saying all this.. he has a few other women also .. I'm addicted to his love. He's not leaving his wife. And I've lived with my husband who is miserable ... The chemistry... The connection.. yes. . I can't seem to break away... And I'm 54, he is 46. He has a few girls in his office and the latest is 28.... I find him staying with her late at night instead of me.. I write this and sound so ridiculous... But if you have never been through this. It's hard

[@katelondon01]

Hi @karenweaver4798 Thankyou, so much for your vulnerability. I am confident that many who read this will be able to connect deeply with your experience. We are here to support you through this journey. 💕

[@kathyglass2922]

I understand. I feel the pain. Blessings.

[@heather4089]

I’ve been in the same situation but 5 years.

[@rubiperez-vq7wj]

I hate the small towns

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@karenweaver4798 that’s pretty gross. You guys are all swapping bacteria and nasty body fluids together. I would get tested for STDs if i were you.

[@deenabellin448]

Any person who is ok being with a married person is very broken. The married person is using you, they are not worth crying over. Dr Phil always says if they will do it with you, they will do it to you. Why would you want to be with a liar and a cheater?

[@CincinMarie]

I was in 4 year almost 5 year secret relationship with a married man. And it was the best relationship I had ever had but also so frustrating because sometimes he he was hot and cold towards me. He broke it off and told me he wanted to focus on marriage. I hope that is truth. I have never seen a video where there's support for the other woman and what she is going through living with guilt too. Thank you for this video.

[@rubiperez-vq7wj]

It is so not worth it honey

[@Namelessly554]

You haven’t come to the point where you’re jealous he gets to sleep with his wife EVERY night? Every holiday? They get to go to the stores together, restaurants and family and friends events. ????? Meanwhile you get to see him on stolen time

[@elliekaplan1970]

The worst part was when he told me (thinking he was giving me a compliment) that I gave him the energy and happiness to cope with his life. Meaning he got the necessary positive energy and honey from me to feed and enrich the happiness at home with his family. That's when reality hit me most and I closed the door on him.

[@jenna_parker_03]

Exactly. They use the other woman to cope with the misery of their home life. Almost like harvesting her energy in order to stay in a lifeless marriage.

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@jenna_parker_03exactly!!! men need that kind of excitement and a stale marriage at home

[@Namelessly554]

Yes!!!! That last part, having the happy holidays with his family was making me sick. Good riddance

[@Karen-rw8ve]

Yes, my experience exactly!

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@elliekaplan1970 that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If you truly love someone you want them to be happy, no matter what even if they can’t truly be yours. That’s real love.

[@ZonyWest]

Ladies, and Gentlemen; let it go! It will stress you to the max!!! More importantly if you arent or cant gain strength you will have a full mental breakdown!

[@highmaintenance7174]

Thank you That’s exactly how I feel is I would have a meltdown I have never needed no one else man❤

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

If you are given closure and have a kind goodbye then a mental breakdown will be avoided

[@cindy6576]

Thank you for acknowledging that it can be fire, the best relationship ever, deepest connection. In 50 years I never had such a strong attachment, laughter and common interests.

[@katelondon01]

Hi @cindy6576, A lot of women do say this 🤍 Sending you much love. How are you feeling as you navigate this expereince?

[@catherinesquire6656]

I so relate to this....years of toxic men to find the man that showed me passion kindness and Love...the guilt I felt was enormous ..he wasn't a bad man just married to a Narcissist who would not even hug amor sleep in same bed. Yes I knew this cos I was in their lives for couple of years b4 relationship...

[@3DSuccess]

​@@catherinesquire6656Why didnt he leave her?

[@BAMshazam]

@@3DSuccessprobably because he’s having sex with both of them but the second choice believes the lying infidel. 😂 Good luck to all. And please remember karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around!

[@graftonqueen5453]

This advice applies to ending one's own marriage as well. Thank you for giving us space to think about the things that are bothering us intuitively, but that we often push down because it's so painful to do anything about. Really appreciate your channel.

[@katelondon01]

Thankyou Grafton. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to support you on your journey.

[@Hilary945]

The problem can be solved by setting boundaries with married men, don't allow them to tell you their marital issues.

[@stacysnider4899]

👏👏👏

[@kayligo]

Better to end it.

[@jamieleigh807]

Thank God for you. Im in thr animal stage atm but i am definetly going to go over where my gains are from taking action. It's such a taboo situation i have nobody i can speak to without feeling deep shame so i seen this video and clicked so fast. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable❤

[@katelondon01]

Hi Jamie, thank you for sharing. I'm glad this could be of value to you!

[@JaneenDAmore68]

I’ve been in a 11 yr relationship with this person. Can I just go with nothing said? This is so difficult. So many years of memories or my kids love this person. It’s so hard

[@porcelli5566]

I would absolutely love to have some one-on-one time with you I'm in a 2-year affair with a married woman that only lives two blocks from me,, she also only works less than a mile from me a mile from me. There's always talk of her leaving her husband but it's like I don't even want it to happen she has three children but I'm head over heels and love and I'm just tormented I know I need to leave I really do and I were both 52 years old. I've had many relationships in the past and even married I have no children. This seems to be the biggest hurdle of my life and I've gone through many as other people have and this is such a burden to me I constantly think of it all day and all night and I just know I need to leave and I just can't pull the trigger

[@Jensen68]

You are freaking amazing!! Thank you 😊 💓

[@katelondon01]

Thankyou Jen! I'm so grateful you have found value here 💕

[@oneinamillion6807]

Thank you for this video..I needed this

[@katelondon01]

I'm glad you found it helpful 💕

[@lyndahughes5999]

Thank you for your video's, I need to hear them now. 😢

[@katelondon01]

My pleasure Lyndahughes5999 I'm glad you have found this space 💕

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

A woman would never date a man who lives with his mother but she would date a man who lives with his wife

[@poms_beats]

😂

[@annstone4940]

Facts. They have “standards” when he lives in his parents basement..but living with his wife and kids is works PERFECTly! 🥴

[@annstone4940]

Bottom line🗣 do unto others…………! End the relationship immediately and bully your heart out of the way!

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

@@annstone4940 When you say parents basement, do you mean men who live in their parents basement apartment and pay rent? Would that be considered the same thing?

[@annstone4940]

@@romans52345-cy3tq living in your parents basement paying rent is totally different. And I personally feel, depending on the situation, that living with a parent as an adult is not a problem. I’m speaking on the women who will criticize those who do, but are ok with pushing aside morals and judgement when it’s disrespecting a wife and a family.

[@robbo3132]

You asked why would you settle for less that you deserve, but she probably hopes he is asking that of himself too about his real partner...so that they can make this excitement an everlasting relationship

[@RM-br6co]

I don’t know how to message you privately. I have been crippled and feel like my life is never going to be the same. I would appreciate anything you you can say with the basic details.

[@katelondon01]

Hi RM, You can contact me through my website katelondon.com.au or message me on Instagram @katelondon01

[@alegnavblack]

I too was involved with a married man although he and the wife lived in the same house and had separate bedrooms, I felt uncomfortable after a while sneaking into his house and being intimate with him in his room, the guilt started eating away at me that I decided to end things. It only generates bad karma in one’s life being involved with a married man.

[@soynaitheron1411]

I can't move on😪😪

[@katelondon01]

Sending you love during this challenging time Soynai 💕

[@jasonmashburn2897]

It’s sooo very hard to move on😢

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

It’s harder to move on when they refuse to give you closure

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

Most devastating period of my life especially since he has refused to talk to me. Humiliating and painful makes me feel disposable and defective

[@deenabellin448]

He is selfish and was just using you. They never intend to leave their family

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

@@deenabellin448 I knew that and I thought he knew that I knew that

[@jerrodzaneplummer]

My deepest regrets come from making the people I love feel like they have to choose between the people they love. When they do the same to me, I feel completely alone.

[@annapclarke1293]

Great video ❤

[@wilkinstokarev5705]

Currently the girl I'm courting now just ended her affair with the married man whom she had an affair for almost five years now she's starting to move on and having a closure with him.

[@lpsglitterpaws8536]

Be careful with that

[@lingy74]

Pick it up again in a year.

[@alegnavblack]

She has you on the side and still meets up with him. You are merely a rebound. Hope you use protection with her.

[@Nicana68]

My issues don't seem to align with the sound advice offered here due to the unique circumstances, I think? But at the same time it does fit and make sense. So confusing!

[@katelondon01]

Hi Cap Dan, This can definitely be a confusing experience to navigate. No two experiences are the same and every journey to healing will also look different and work differently for each individual. Take was resonates and leave the rest!

[@faraboverubies2526]

Thank you so much, you are the best

[@katelondon01]

Thankyou 💕

[@myrandacolina]

Thank you for your help

[@katelondon01]

My pleasure @myrandacolina 🤍🤍

[@pipergunderson-swaney4539]

I think the point is- do not go for a married man- one you are not important you are being used for the self of the one needing supply and you are just a supply. Also you would not want to be the other person, so you are working against that which you value- hence you become a low value person- inner conflict. Women or men- just don’t do it. Weakness and low self worth is all it is.

[@myexpatlife9179]

well,this is for people who are already in it and want to leave which is the hardest most difficult thing

[@alethea6781]

Easier said than done

[@ruksharkhatun9699]

I ended an almost 2 yrs affair with him, he was liar, we live in together he never used to go home, only on weekends, but when his wife reached out he completely denied the fact that he loves me his wife later on gave me pictures of his another affair gfs that he's been cheating on her with different girls, he physically abused me also and emotionally drained me. He keeps coming back into my life

[@rubiperez-vq7wj]

They love to throw the mistress under the bus

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@ruksharkhatun9699 and why the heck do you want to be with him???

[@monicalee3615]

How do i reach out to you Kate London? I need help and advise so bad about my situation....

[@katelondon01]

Hi Monica, you can find my contact details on my website katelondon.com.au/ or you can book a connection call with me here: calendly.com/katelondon/call

[@DorothyLoko]

He

[@wittywinter9234]

not judgy? could of fooled me. A smart other woman knows exactly what she's getting into and you don't fall in love first of all ,you think like he does use him for companionship and sex, but have other boyfriends on the side. Above all you tell no one about it.

[@sarahardin185]

Yep.

[@kokon3582]

Information on 1:1 consultation

[@katelondon01]

Hi @kokon3582 You can book a free 15min call with me here to discuss 1-1 options: calendly.com/katelondon/call

[@supersawyer358]

How about not participating in moral depravity to start with. Nothing good will come out of this.

[@highmaintenance7174]

The grooming part of dealing with a married man is crazy My moral compass knew it was wrong, at first I was like this is the man I prayed for, he is 6’4 290lbs beautiful teeth, chocolate, so compassionate and caring. He makes sure he tells me good night and good morning, he takes me on lunch dates and the way he holds and kiss me is unreal. This was a short relationship it only lasted a week because it took one time for him not to answer and that was a true trigger for me. I blocked him and I feel great and I’m not going back. I have never been desperate and I can get my own man. Actually I feel bad for his wife because he is a charming piece of shit😂

[@Tyme4TarotwithChan]

We know all too well about these “ charming pieces of shit”

[@Namelessly554]

Wow what you said about his characteristics is all of mine too. You’re so lucky and smart you only did one week. I did three years and I was so tired of being triggered I finally ended it lol

[@catdelicacy]

Thank you 🙏

[@340kmusic9]

Yall rather date married men instead of Polygamy...I Don't get it ....

[@hb2862]

Thank you very much for making this video. I dated my college boyfriend for 6 years. He asked me to get married at one point. I said no i wasnt ready at the time but in a year or to definitely and he wasnt pleased by that and than left me and got married to someone else the next year. The been married for 15 years. However i have had an off and on affair with him for all of the 15 years. Its a really long story but i been in love with him all this time and hurt that he married someone else.i recently got diagnosed with cancer. He started being supportive and it meant a lot to me and i restarted out affair all over again after i had stop contacted for 2 years because i told him i didnt want to be involved with him anymore. I feel very emotionally vulnerable with him right now. I think the only way to emsure i dont go back and move on with a clear conscience is to tell his wife. I don't know her. I don't want to meet her, but I was thinking of calling her to explain everything. What is your opinion?

[@natashadickson4819]

You posted this a month ago so it's been a while but I hope you didn't call her. Focus on your health and be glad that you didn't marry him because he's not the faithful type. I wish you a full recovery and freedom to meet an available man. ❤

[@charanjotkaur646]

@@natashadickson4819you’re so kind ❤

[@Tyme4TarotwithChan]

I def don’t think that’s the only way or best way to ensure you don’t go back. The best way is valuing yourself and worth more than the relationship & realizing it will always be the same thing ( sneaking, hiding, being 2nd, 3rd or 4th & never fully being satisfied and honored in the way you deserve to be loved. Also keep in mind, if you’re trying to disconnect, calling his wife is only involving you more in a situation you’re supposedly trying to leave, not to mention possibly making you a target if the wife just so happens to want to take action or get revenge on you. It’s a lot to think about, but def give it some thought before proceeding..if you haven’t already.

[@kehoe210]

What ahould one do its amindfuck she hod a marriage and oresented herself as single with kids , should you try call her request answers trith or him, she literally ended it with a block and very little talk a few texts after sying i lobe you for months and i do want to divorce then a text saying im so so sorry im in love with him eant to fix it only 2 nights before saying she wabts to divirce

[@rubiperez-vq7wj]

Never do this because you can get killed or beaten . Especially if the spouse is possesive and controlling. They will use their phone and impersonate them. They will set you up.

[@kayligo]

True. It’s physically and emotionally dangerous. Best to end it.

[@Elizabeth.C.Holmes]

Hi. I know your story from your past videos. I wish u would give yourself permission to start off your videos with the fact u were groomed as a very very young adult by an older adult. Not as an excuse but as a fact. I’m related news, I’ve not been in an affair. I was hidden from a boyfriend’s former girlfriend. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Sounds good but he was an a/hole. I listen to your videos to remind myself how to leave a toxic relationship and ones that are just not right. Just wanted to add my 2 cents.

[@katelondon01]

Hey @elizabeth.c.holmes I read your comment yesterday and it's been on my mind. I really appreciate you sharing all this, it's so important. Even though I don't often talk about it in that way, it's a topic I am deeply passionate about. I definitely see myself sharing more about this in the years to come. I might even get started a little sooner. 🤍

[@WonkyWomanLife]

Leave them alone and think of the wife

[@yolandajohnson8685]

women, if you're dealing with a married man, please leave him alone and think of his wife. she may be doing everything she could to work things out with her husband. and you are pulling him in another direction. you're single, please go find your own man.

[@hb2862]

I disagree. I speaking the perspective of a person who had an affair with a marry man and as a woman who was cheated on by her husband. No person gets pulled away by the spouse by another person. That person chooses to step away.

[@natashadickson4819]

He stays married for a reason.

[@sp1057]

It's not just single women.

[@hb2862]

Another thing why do you assume married people cheat with single people. This shows your naivete. Half of married people that cheat cheat with other married people.

[@marciabrandon2423]

​@@hb2862choose something better for yourself. You deserve much better.

[@OddlyAmusedByAll007]

BILLIONS of people on this planet and these sides want some type of sympathy or support for falling in love with someone who was never theirs to begin with....😂😂😂😂😂😂 no homewreckers...no empathy

[@Gotoworkkk]

There must be something tasty and appealing about a married man.

[@coriebegin5951]

How about this just dont put yourself in that situation. There are plenty of men and women out there that want the same thing

[@katelondon01]

I appreciate your share @coriebegin5951. However, assuming someone should never make a mistake is unrealistic. We're all human, and part of personal growth involves learning from our experiences, even those we might regret, judge ourselves for and feel shame towards. Sometimes we find ourselves in unexpected situations. It's in those moments that we can learn valuable lessons and better define our preferences and boundaries for future relationships.

[@cindy6576]

Some women are totally unaware of the double life! It isn’t a choice if you don’t know for a long time. Once aware, the woman is deeply in love and trauma bonded.

[@katelondon01]

@@cindy6576 Yes! This is actually so common

[@marciabrandon2423]

​@@cindy6576it's called self love. Staying with someone's husband can put a woman in many dangers including spiritual and generational curses. We must choose self love over everything else. We are not victims, we need to make the world a better place as women and we cant if we are sleeping with another woman's husband.

[@Tyme4TarotwithChan]

@@cindy6576exactly! Some men lie and live lives that support the lie so you don’t know. The guy I met was a neighbor and looked single and said he was. The whole time he had a wife and kids in another state, whom he moved closer 6 mos after we began. He told me he took on a night job which is why he was never at his residence overnight anymore. ( he was home with his family ) and came to his home next door to me early in the morning and spent the entire day there until night time. Ppl lie and are crafty with it & very manipulative!

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

1000%

[@katelondon01]

💕

[@christinedrylie8017]

Too get out hobble affair is to tell one you trust and it very bad tell the police with sport and if his in work place

[@NoMoreRatRaceForMe]

Shame on you

[@jessicavasquez9400]

It’s sucks feeling to let go even u know what what all about the situation 🥲🤣🥲🥲

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

Most devastating period of my life especially since he has refused to talk to me. Humiliating and painful makes me feel disposable and defective

[@christinedrylie8017]

Too get out hobble affair is to tell one you trust and it very bad tell the police with sport and if his in work place