How to end veteran suicide | Ron Self | TEDxSanQuentin

NOTE FROM TED: This talk only represents the speaker's personal views and understanding of mental health and associated treatments. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/t...
America would never send a soldier to fight without basic training. Yet we have sent thousands of vets home unprepared to handle the devastating mental damages of war. Speaking while incarcerated at San Quentin State Prison, former combat veteran Ron G. Self shares his personal struggle and outlines a plan to help our veterans.
Find out more about Ron's program Boot Camp Out and the amazing work of Veterans Healing Veterans from the Inside Out, (veteranshealingveterans.org/do....
Learn more about San Quentin's exemplary Prison University Project prisonuniversityproject.org/, which was just awarded the National Humanities Medal.
Ron G. Self, a former combat veteran of the United States Marine Corps who served from 1987 to 1996, is currently incarcerated at San Quentin State Prison. While in prison, Self's personal struggles prompted him to found the self-help group Veterans Healing Veterans From The Inside Out to try to stop the alarmingly high suicide rate among veterans.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@tylermcquaid1272]

My father was a proud Marine. He was a desert storm veteran, and we always struggled with money, but when my father needed emergency medical attention for an injury that occurred at his job, the VA hospital treated us very poorly, and refused to help him due to our lack of funds. He pleaded to the doctors that he needed help. They made it clear that they couldn't have cared less. We were turned away, and ended up having to go home. For a week straight after that denial, I had to watch the strongest man I've ever known lie in agony. I did everything I could to help him. I was praying for a sign that he would get better, but on October 10th of 2018, the day started out great. He and I started our traditional monster movie marathon. I knew he was still in an unimaginable amount of pain but he did his best to hide it from me, and we enjoyed each others company while we watched the bride of Frankenstein. We stopped halfway through the movie at the part where Frankenstein met the blind man who was very grateful for his friendship. We agreed to take a 5 minute break, which is when he looked at me, and said that he never could have asked for a better friend. I thanked him, and told him that I love him. He responded with "I know" and smiled brighter than ever before. I went up to my room to organize my supplies because I had to study for my GED test. About 15 to 20 minutes later, I went back downstairs to continue where we had left off, only to discover that my dad was missing. I was so so scared. After searching most of our home for him, I got to our interior garage door which had been wide open. I looked past the darkness of the cluttered room to see my hero on the other side. He hung himself that day. 😩 It was just the two of us home so I couldn't yell for help. I cut him down and tried to give him CPR, but I could see in his eyes that he was already gone. I ran into the house to get the house phone and call the police. As you might guess, they showed up, and treated me horribly. Not only did they keep me away from my father, but they went through our garage and home taking whatever they saw fit to be "evidence". They left him on the cold floor of my garage for almost 3 hours, and wouldn't let me near him. They trashed what they didn't take, and treated me like a criminal. I have to live with this pain every day. I can't close my eyes without seeing my dad like that. I've been having awful nightmares. It's almost every time I try and sleep. The rest of my kin keep trying to claim that they know how I feel about what happened, just because they lost him too. Which is a reasonable thought that I can't verbally deny, but deep down I know that nobody lost as much as I did that fateful day. My dad wasn't just my best friend. He was practically the only true friend that I've ever had. Without him in my life anymore, I can't help but to always feel alone. Now all I have left of him are questions that can't be answered, like. Would things have been any different if the Veterans hospital had at least tried?, and should I blame myself for leaving him unsupervised in the first place? My father proudly gave everything he had to this country, only to be turned away when he needed them the most. I'm sorry to vent like this. I just really miss my Papa bear, and I don't have anyone in my life that can truly relate. I try to spare my siblings the grim details of how awful it really was for me to look into the lifeless eyes of the man that I've always looked up to, but in turn I have no way to really express that sorrowful void that found our home, and broke my heart on the day my dad departed. I miss him more and more with each passing moment, but I know he's looking out for me. Sometimes I like to think of him as an awesome armored guardian angel that may or may not be packing. 😅 anyway, thank you to all of you battle born warriors that risk your lives to better ours. I will forever admire the sacrifices that you brave men and women make each day. I may not be much, but I'd give my life for each of you because I know you'd do the same. All is Fair in love, and War yet neither are for faint of heart. Please take pride in knowing that you are in fact appreciated, and remember that when all else seems lost, is when we learn just how much we have to gain. Semper Fidelis soldiers. Seize the day, and begin anew. There will always be something worth fighting for, just as there will always be those willing to do so. Be brave, for you are limitless without the fear of falling to an inevitable end that we all must face. 👑 💗

[@tylermcquaid1272]

(Drops Mic)

[@bobscruggs8886]

I am so sorry for your lost and has helped me understand losing our son about this time last year Ssgt Robert E Scruggs an Army disabled veteran served in Iraq who had 6 major back surgeries in 6 years and was in constant pain with maximum prescribed Va meds the VA reduced his meds by 20% due to the opioid problem so he started to buy what he needed on the street and became more addicted interesting he could in any amount for cash even though there was a so called shortage. The Va treatment was confusing to him and us some Doctors were helpful others no so great also my son did not know how to reach out to others including me and my wife. He became angry inside a loner of sorts could not have an long term conversation and did not want us to pry into his affairs with me he hardly talked with me he never realized I was his best friend and broke my heart but would talk to his Mom once in awhile but not often. He was in ICU for 17 days i coma we were with him 24/7 the last day he opened his eyes looked around and when life left him he looked handsome no more stress or pain we still have emotional breakdowns all the time and has aged us at lease 5 years. I am so sorry about your loss I was in the USMC 1958 - 1962 and feel the loss of so many veterans. I am 77 and type with 1 finger and can't express my feeling like you did remember we love and Honor your Dad.

[@nikiandjanie8990]

I stopped reading halfway thru your story. After you seeing your dad, that was enough for me. I am so sorry. My heart is broken. Listen. Pretend I'm your mother. Do not stop yelling your story. Do you understand? People need to hear this. You have a voice, and a strong one. You have impacted me greatly. You, darling- you have alteady made a difference. I will not firget your story, and i will share this post. The VA helped my fad a lit. And it didn't. We spent a lot of time seeking help that our Govt is responsible for giving. But thats just not life. He ended up dying from neglect. I tried so hard to save him. It doesnt matter, but i do understand. Best to you and thank you so much for Adding to this really important conversation. Sorry if typos.

[@amberdavis1514]

The Oath Keeper look me up on fb n dm me if u need someone to vent to.

[@jeffreyrichardson]

This statement is the God's honest truth, brother...

[@untilengaged6217]

This man is my brother. I recently lost a brother of my own. We served together in Iraq 2006. I'm struggling myself lately. The VA cares nothing for us. That's where the suicide rates go up. When this country learns to truly care for its warriors, can we begin to heal.

[@JesusChrist-Gives-Eternal-Life]

God bless you and thank you for your service! ❤❤

[@MarksTournaments]

Proud of what you did?

[@ABoredTroll]

This Veteran is the only one I've heard that has a solution to the Veteran Suicide crisis.

[@psychiatryandwellnesswitht8474]

I have heard Ron speak. He has some very sound ideas for the rehabilitation of soldiers and other human beings who have gone through trauma. Boot camp out is a great suggestion. He is a true hero.

[@donvandamnjohnsonlongfella1239]

yeah it's called an Outpatient center. :p I did some bootcamp out. :p only had to visit the psych ward to get there though hahahaha.

[@ReillyWilde]

Dr. Ron Self paroled in 2015 & is actively carrying out the mission of VHV at 6 prisons. His work is critical to bring our veterans all the way home. To speak & work with him has been an honor & an inspiration. 🇺🇸

[@somas09]

Thanks, Ron, for your perspective. I completely agree with you. And, great analogy of an Abrams serving as a school bus. Upon returning to civilian life, veterans expect to make the shift to the civilian world as "easily" (not sure anyone would ever classify boot camp as easy) and as successfully as the shift into the military mindset was. The challenges of returning to the civilian world are numerous. The absence of a chain of command, the loss of comrades (in battle and due to getting out), loss of access to a support system/environment which constantly reminded us of the reason for our service/sacrifice, and we no longer have brothers-in-arms with whom we have a shared experience. Anyone would struggle with that environment yanked from them upon their departure. Coupled with a decades-long societal war on masculinity, which leaves men less prepared to deal with the horrors of combat, it's not surprising men struggle upon returning to "the world." Boot Camp helps males become men - and trains them to be highly effective in combat. Unfortunately, our society sees veterans as only trained to kill and destroy and doesn't really appreciate the tremendous resource that is the military veteran. Yes, we are trained to prevail in violent combat, but that is not the only combat that exists. Even capitalism is a form of combat - albeit peaceful combat. So, there are a lot of advantages to having a tank in traffic, we just have to make sure it drives around other vehicles, and doesn't tear up the road. Easier said than done.

[@danielpina6920]

Im writing a research paper for NATO right now, and I came across this. Having served for four years across the pond, in both wars, Ron Self, you hit this right on the head. There’s a lot of scientific brains trying to approach this, I am coming from the more story narrative in what the military leaders are doing now for suicide prevention within its ranks.

[@chrispowers1524]

Would you be willing to share your work?

[@sillysally8795]

I'm a veteran with mental issues. Thankfully, I didn't go to Iraq. I will say that I have met many veterans (as old as 78) through therapy program aimed at keeping veterans alive after a suicide attempt. Even in the program there are Veterans that slip through the cracks because of cracks in their program. It's not uncommon for veterans to complete the program unrehabilitated. So many veterans end up killing themselves. It's such a big problem that I want to go to school to do social work for veterans. We deserve programs like this man proposes. You can't throw someone in a war and then ship them back to society and call them a hero. They are going to have issues. As soon as they do, we call them abusers and violent and lock them away from society. What a failing. We can do so much better as a nation. "Thank you for your service" is like saying "Happy holidays". It's alienating.They have no idea what they are saying thank you for.

[@parisiansparkle]

smashing

[@gentlewarriorjourney4426]

My calling and purpose is to make sure I can help as many Veterans as possible before they hit rock bottom like he and myself have hit. Life after war is not easy, but I have learned that I can live my new normal after life post war. 🙏🏻

[@MCshlthead]

Just curious but do you ever spare any empathy for the people of Iraq, Afghanistan etc? Dont you think they too are suffering probably worse than the veterans even and there is no help for them.

[@TXEROXT]

Disabled homeless Army veteran here... The number ONE problem is NO access to TIMELY mental health followed by a complete lack of empathy or compassion from the VA and US Gov! Takes more than 6 months to get any therapy and then you only get a few quick therapy sessions. Then they tell you they have to "ration" mental health due to "lack of government funding"... As if that makes any sense! You wouldn't "ration food to an anorexic child! So why are we "rationing" mental health services for veterans in crisis??? Add to that almost no help for Homeless vets and absolutely no accommodations for Homeless vets that have to travel long distances for hospital visits. There's no where you can go or sleep without constantly being harrased by police as if falling on hard times and being homeless is the WORST crime you could ever commit. Bottom line: VA and Gov DON'T CARE ABOUT VETS!!!

[@DAWGnROADIE]

33 years dealing with the Va for a disability caused by my leadership. It ruined my life. I didn’t turn to alcohol or drugs. I didn’t give up. But today I have deteriorated to the point that I can’t work. The VA is impossible to navigate -by design. We can’t even get travel pay without a round of paperwork. I can’t afford to drive to appointments. I am $300 a month short on bills and I eat once a day, don’t use air conditioning, I burn wood for heat. The 8.7 % increase was ridiculous. That was lost to insurance increase and property tax increase. I should be 100% but I have been denied without a single MRI. Appeal denied because my scars don’t prevent me from working. (Really scars!). Now I am waiting on the company contracted by the VA to assess me again. I won’t live in the street. I won’t turn to crime. I will have to sell everything I have just to pay bills. Instead of the VA just doing the right thing. It will end with a shotgun in my foreclosed home. I won’t be homeless.

[@timothyunderwood7880]

Heard about a Marine Corps gunny who told his men the worst thing about war is it coming to an end. Never fully understood that, but now I think I do after hearing Ron talk about searching for that family" camaraderie that men in battle had and never finding it.

[@donvandamnjohnsonlongfella1239]

Timothy Underwood a lot of other people end up addicted to the adrenaline rush of war. You are never alive in civilian life the way you are in a warzone. Your body is running at 1000% alert to every movement sound contact.

[@earthhumane5743]

the amount veteran suicide is shocking and disturbing. if more people knew about this trauma we could stop suicide. it isn't a high enough priority for our leaders, which is wrong.

[@amberdavis1514]

most amazing video i think i’ve ever seen!! thank you so much for being so honest!

[@ColleenLoehr]

Very powerful, inspiring, relevant, moving talk - I will help. Thank you!

[@paulwoolford2861]

76-year-old veteran requesting anyone to help veteran and to take a look into the corruption at the department of veterans affairs Manila, Philippines. The Board of Veterans Affairs, Washington DC., on January 08, 2021, GRANTED Veteran Service-Connection for Traumatic Brain Injury while veteran Active-duty 1965-1966; however, veteran being rated by VA as 100% totally & permanently disabled was reduced to a rating of (0) zero by VA Manila. VA Manila, now insists veteran start all over again with his TBI claims. In short - corruption easily exposed due to decades of a paper-trail revealing Malfeasance, Misfeasance, Nonfeasance, Intentional Negligence (all on VA paper). A GREAT STORY ON THE CONTINUED CORRUPTION IN AMERICA!

[@brendabassman4595]

I once asked the receptionist at the VA doctor office for avet friend of mine, " Is this an ethical doctor office?" The receptionist replied "No were just regular"! Didn't know the definition of the word ethical ?

[@christopherbrock8735]

Outstanding, marine brother. Exactly how it is too. I often think that somehow I am dead and this is just a perpetual dream state trapped in a corpse. Semper Fi.

[@amberdavis1514]

Christopher Brock pretend like ur in one of those dreams where you know ur dreaming, so you can do anything u want! ...just don’t try flying

[@marqurellgentry5358]

This needs to be implemented.

[@Thomasfboyle]

Great work. A longer term solution would be to stop making more and more unnecessary conflicts from the throne of Washington that create so many thousands of veterans. Boot camps out can heal those already suffering, but avoiding illegitimate conflicts can save future generations the same pain.

[@Wile_E._Wolf]

I'd agree with you, but unfortunately human beings are violent, petty and emotional. Conflict, violence and war among our population will always be part of our existence, until someone or something else comes and unites in conflict, violence and war against them.

[@parisiansparkle]

good point, no war no soldiers, too. these vets have a strong call that need to channel into service for community.

[@reidzak9963]

I wish this guy was in the marine corps when I was getting out because I’m shedding tears watching this

[@tiffsaver]

END WAR!!!

[@poopmgee100]

We can’t. I really wish we could but I can’t think of a way that wouldn’t be dystopian. I think resource scarcity is a huge issue and probably the first step in the right direction. Until then, we should support the people who are willing to put their lives on the line to fight and remove bad actors from the world.

[@tiffsaver]

@@poopmgee100 If you actually believe that B.S., why don't YOU put on a uniform and join the Marines, GI Joe??

[@poopmgee100]

@@tiffsaver hey tiff, I didn’t intend for my comment to come off combative. I was hoping to see who agreed or what sort of ideas were out there for HOW it (ending wars) COULD happen. Btw I do plan on enlisting. Not in the core but in another branch. I’ve gone back and forth for a number of years on different ends of the morality spectrum with the military industrial complex, and just how necessary the scale is… figured it’s time to find out for myself. How would/could you end war right now?

[@tiffsaver]

@@poopmgee100 Vote for a US president with the moral fortitude to do it, THAT'S HOW.

[@autismobinch135]

You can start by ending all these illegal interventions.

[@JM-ye6ow]

THIS MAN NEEDS TO MANAGE THE INCOMPETENT VA

[@Baddawg_313]

What is a "former combat veteran"? Did he respawn and get a new life, a new body and a fresh new brain? I would like to do that.

[@TheInfantry98]

Cuz he’s not broken

[@alejandroavendano7988]

how about not sending so many soldiers overseas in the first place?

[@larrylandwehr7694]

I was never suicidal....until I had to deal with the V.A.!

[@absolutebollocks2258]

I wrote a poem dedicated to these terrorists: You inflicted violence on that innocent person without remorse. Now PTSD will gradually take its course. You felt a thrill as you fulfilled your insatiable desire to kill. Broken, you are awoken by the flashback of your sin. You experience the terror of the secret you hold within. You are mentally tormented every day. The pain and hate you caused will never go away. You are forced to waken to the screams of your victim. You ask yourself in your mind, 'O why did I kill them?'. They sternly ask 'why did you kill me?'. You can't answer, but you know there's an outstanding fee. They stare at you emotionless, expecting a reply. You are unable to function, unable to express why. Your victim stares you in the eyes. You can't feel a thing. You are unable to cry. You chose to kill, now you pay the price. The price is to end your life.

[@Oliver_Tate]

DONT SUE ME IF I COPY THIS POEM. PLEASE

[@Wile_E._Wolf]

It shows that you've got no idea about experiences of war or military life in general. It also shows that you've barely two brain cells to rub together to create that spark. Nice try though buddy, keep at it and you'll get there eventually 👍

[@lonewolf2364]

A partial reason is uncertainty. What's gonna happen next, when I got out everything was uncertainty. This man should be sentenced to the VA lecture circuit cause he is right on the money .

[@randyjohnson9772]

THEY REALLY NEED TO BE HEROES BY TAKING OUT A FEW WAR CRIMINALS BEFORE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES OUT

[@craigbigelow8160]

Yea,were so happy here in America from all this being so GREAT all the time out favorite pastimes suicide!😳

[@machugh792]

You know how to end Veteran Suicide? Let us do it!!

[@shiloh1994]

Well he hit my experience on the head

[@billymartin6583]

How do you force an incompetently run VAMC (I.e. like WPBVAMC) to listen to something like this and improve? THEY JUST GET MAD AT ME FOR CRITICIZING AND MAKING RECOMMENDATIONS AS A MEDIC!

[@d_mosimann]

USA: How can we deal with veterans? World: Why do you make war and produce veterans in the first place?

[@hiramhill3220]

THANKS TO ALL YOU CIVILIAN SOLDIERS YOU ARE OUR FAMILY YALL WORK LONG HOURS GIVING AND WITH A SMILE EVERY TIME YOU MEET THE NEXT TROOP IN LINE YOU SMILE AND SHACK ARE HANDS WITH A NICE GREETING IT HAS TO GET OLD BUT IT NEVER SHOWS YALL ARE THERE WHEN I LEAVE AND THERE A YEAR LATER WHEN I COME BACK YALL ARE STILL SMILING THANK YALL FOR WHAT YOU DO FOR US TROOPS AND THE HUG LADY AT HOOD HAS WENT TO HEAVEN BUT WHEN SHE WAS ON EARTH SHE WAS A REAL ANGEL SHE IS MY FAVORITE BUT USO WORKERS / THE AIR CREW/ AND ALL THE ELDER VETERANS THAT SEE US OFF AND WELCOME US HOME I LOVE AND THANK YALL WITH ALL MY LOVE GOD BLESS ALL YALL PS THANKS FOR HAVING ARE 6s I KNOW A LOT HATE US WE GET PAID 4 IT AT LEST YALL DO IT 4 LOVE THAT MAKES YALL MY HEROS I KNOW THE VIDEO AINT ABOUT THIS I JUST HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT NAM VETERANS COMEN HOME AND BEING TREATED LIKE DIRT THEY MADE SURE WE HAD SUPPORT FROM THEM AND LIKE MINDED FOLKS I WANTED YALL TO KNOW HOW MUCH THEY HELP US AND THANKFUL I AM FOR ALL YALL SPC B OUT

[@brendabassman4595]

I have ideas as well first off pts INJURY must be LEGISLATIVELY labeled truthfully! Then we are free to HEAL! Suicide depression symptoms of an INJURY education knowledge is key ! Treating addressing injury as what it is has no shame. If your leg is broken the doctor doesn't tell you that you have "leg disorder" go take these pills! He says we must set it stay off of it give it time and healing will occur!

[@hylkewesterhuis9667]

I present to you a true US Hero & Patriot, who did do 'the right thing': by owning up to his earlier mistakes & errors; and speaking & standing up to those who made him do/commit them. Unfortunately, his no-holds-barred wake up call has not penetrated hearts & minds of subsequent/next generations. Nothing has changed (for the 'good'); nothing apparently will. :_[[ hYlkeW (63y NL-Misanthropist & MGTOW-Monk/Hermit in DE)

[@22adaynoway92]

Watch. 22adaynoway

[@laurawright7631]

Why is he in prison?

[@amberdavis1514]

scottb613 whoops

[@ReillyWilde]

He paroled in 2015 & runs Veterans Healing Veterans at 6 prisons. 🇺🇸

[@carolinameza1915]

Sad to see that Governor Newson was in attendance and he hasn't implemented anything new to help our veterans.

[@alig6860]

dont kill poor people women and children

[@goast6120]

Close VA Medical centers. They are a huge contribution to the problem.

[@starlight7830]

Can anyone confirm 73,000 suicides?

[@PSch98]

It's got to be more by this year. The common number I've seen for the last decade or so is 22 veteran suicides a day. Since this video dated ten years ago stated 73000, there would be an additional 80000 veteran suicides, for a total of 150,000.

[@sladefuqua5459]

Ron Self, I am at Houston VA and am going to die from bad disc in back from flightline injury.... been asking to see specialist for 6 months now with no luck... not with patient advocate, not with John Cornyn not with Donald Trump.

[@nikiandjanie8990]

What???? Who is helping you.???

[@amandanegrete1306]

What about a congressional inquiry? My Senator helped me when I really needed it through a congressional inquiry.

[@lolaperez520]

But I don't understand why alot of these Vets treat their wives and kids so harsh like it's their fault.

[@parisiansparkle]

you take it with people you feel closer, it's a normal reaction I suppose, I am not a psychologist but I have suffered with PTSD after terrorism in France; my anger outburst exploded with my best friend, my family and boyfriend. yeah, and to be honest, I sorted my relationships so far.

[@LivingDead53]

Get rid of Burning Benny and friends.

[@yylaminator]

Simple just dont cause war in distant parts of the world

[@h4nky20flhr08]

investigate Lyme Ron!!!!!

[@ReillyWilde]

Sheep dogs protect the sheep.

[@josehanderson7212]

What did expect when you train a killing machine? the innocents people you killed will hunting you down. It's payback from innocent bloods.

[@menglinxu]

What a libtard answer. The bad people that are dead keeps me asleep at night. 😀

[@johnberryman787]

@@menglinxu the bad people? In Soule’s account, he writes, “I tell you Ned it was hard to see little children on their knees have their brains beat out by men professing to be civilized.” While few Americans - especially those living outside of Colorado - may know their names, Soule and Cramer are honored and revered by the ancestors of the people they tried to save. According to David F. Halaas, former Colorado state historian and current historical consultant to the Northern Cheyenne, without their courage in disobeying Chivington’s orders and keeping their men from the massacre, “the descendants probably wouldn’t be around today,” and there would be no one to tell the stories. Remember when Native Americans were the savages?

[@MarksTournaments]

@@menglinxu just like your dead vet friends?

[@javierloya4086]

The best way to end veteran suicide, don't enlist in the armed forces.

[@throe68]

Some feel the call to duty, and are grateful to and want to give back to this nation...some just want things handed to them, only care about themselves, and just take, take, take.

[@johnberryman787]

@@throe68 call of duty? In Soule’s account, he writes, “I tell you Ned it was hard to see little children on their knees have their brains beat out by men professing to be civilized.” While few Americans - especially those living outside of Colorado - may know their names, Soule and Cramer are honored and revered by the ancestors of the people they tried to save. According to David F. Halaas, former Colorado state historian and current historical consultant to the Northern Cheyenne, without their courage in disobeying Chivington’s orders and keeping their men from the massacre, “the descendants probably wouldn’t be around today,” and there would be no one to tell the stories. That's been the military forever

[@j-rod3718]

Don’t bring your bs here. Really? It does not help any of us suffering. It’s the one good thing I did and you’re ridiculous comment only makes it worse

[@andrewcross8244]

I’m sorry I think this guy might be a phony

[@FryCook87]

why do you think that?