How to Finish What You Start Every Time || For Sewing projects, Embroidery projects, Craft projects

I think I speak for many of us when I say that we have no problem getting excited about a potential new project. We see a movie, or a picture on social media, and we know just what we want to make.
We get over that hurdle and begin... but then at some point the excitement drains away.
That project that seemed like such a good idea at the time becomes heavy. We get bored, or intimidated, and work grinds to a halt... and we start beating ourselves up about that heap of lost hope sitting in the corner!
What to do? That's what I've addressed in this week's video - and I'll show you another project I've been working on myself for ever to prove that it's not just you!
The braces/suspenders I'm wearing are from @papilionaceouspuresilk
The books I referenced are by Italian embroiderer Rafaella Serena - www.raffaellaserena.com/
* Berlin Work, Samplers & Embroidery of the Nineteenth Century
* Embroideries and Patterns of Nineteenth Century Vienna from the Nowotny Collection
Original suspenders are all from the Metropolitan Museum, New York
[1] European, 19th century, Accession Number: 36.90.1214a, b
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
[2] European, 19th century, Accession Number: 36.90.1209
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
[3] French, 1850, Accession Number: C.I.53.23.1a, b
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
[4] European, 19th century, Accession Number: 36.90.1208
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
[5] European, 1840-59, Accession Number: C.I.51.21a-d
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
[6] Probably Spanish, 19th century, Accession Number: 36.90.1211
www.metmuseum.org/art/collect...
Edited by Sophie Black at @triskellepictures
/ @triskellepicturesuk
Music (all from Epidemic Sound):
'Garden (Instrumental Version)' by Garden Friend
'Impressions of You' by Gavin Luke
'The Road Less Travelled' by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen
'Little Kid' by Johannes Bornlof
Stock Photos (All from Unsplash):
Letter image by Annie Spratt
Kilimanjaro hikers image by Ben Spoelhof
Kilimanjaro image by Yoad Shejtman
Kilimanjaro image by Sergey Pesterev
You can also follow me and see my own sewing and embroidery on Instagram:
/ cathy.hay
Your letters and cards are welcome at Mr Worth's old place.
7 Rue de la Paix
Paris 75002
France
If you're in the UK, I also have an address here:
1 Northumberland Avenue
Trafalgar Square
London
WC2N 5BW
United Kingdom
Please don't send parcels - the fees to have them imported/forwarded to me are expensive! Contact me first if it's something special or important.
Thank you, thank you, to everyone who has sent something to me. It is deeply valuable to read your words in your own handwriting and hold them in my hands. It helps me to connect to who you really are, and what you really need from me. I read, enjoy and treasure every one. Thank you.

[@antoniahein3565]

Cathy: pick a small thing to finish. Me: oh nice, i’m working on sewing a handkerchief right now! Cathy: finish two projects you’ve been procrastinating on. Me: oh shit, that means i’ve got to finish my bachelor’s thesis...

[@janemorrow6672]

Just finish the next small stage.

[@heathermclaren9506]

PhD student who procrasti-sews here... I feel very seen o.o

[@Thelmageddon]

That made me laugh out loud! 😁

[@AAD2698]

LOL. Thanks for the morning laugh. Good luck on the thesis.

[@ElliLovett]

I'm in the exact same situation lol but we can do this!

[@argheimrobb]

In quilting we often say "it's better finished than perfect" 😊

[@pyenygren2299]

"Rather almost right than totally wrong" is my motto. 👍

[@argheimrobb]

@@pyenygren2299 That's a really great one!! 👍

[@elenanojkovic2554]

I just recently started my first quilting project-a bookshelf patchwork quilt which Will be a cover for my bed. I honestly find it relaxing. Is it finicky? Yes, very much so. But at the same time the fact that it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect and that it's basically just a puzzle in sewing form is so much fun. I want to have patchwork quilted EVERYTHING now (and since I might have to move in a year, when I finish uni, it would be Great to have a bunch of little decoratve things to spruce up whatever cheap apartment I end up renting).

[@piedpiper3919]

I also just started my first quilt and I'm doing it all by hand. It's for a full sized bed and I think at times that my first is too large, but then I think about how great it will be finished.

[@Ella-iv1fk]

@@piedpiper3919 I am also working on my first quilt, full bed size but will be machine sewing it all. Each stage of preparation takes a lot of motivation, I started acquiring the materials a few years ago but only just started actually working on it. I’m still excited so hopefully can keep up momentum

[@robinhahnsopran]

Is it weird that the advice of letting yourself whinge about it is to me an absolute LIGHTBULB moment? I feel like people (but particularly women) are so often told not to whinge, and that it's such a profound character flaw to be whingey that we should avoid it at all times, even when alone with just ourselves and our thoughts. Giving ourself permission to do it is not only incredibly emotionally freeing, but it's also a way to discover what's blocking us from meeting our goals. Thank you!

[@tinlidtoo6615]

Yes.. and as we are probably doing these things for entertainment not because we have to, it seems somehow poor form to be complaining, especially when there are so many "real" struggles right now

[@amyp9369]

Yep, allowing ourselves to actually feel and process “negative” emotions, instead of avoiding them, often brings clarity. 🙂

[@adamreynolds9816]

This is so true. I had the same realization! I have always thought there’s a reason for all human behaviour. If whining didn’t serve a purpose why do we all do it. I think I now know, I was just not effectively whining... at least not to completion .

[@fairpastelfairy1681]

I feel in society we are often taught to be pleasant and unpleasant emotions are regarded as obstacles to be removed, when they actually are often more of a guidance on what to do next. I am a physiotherapists and the relief my patients show when I tell them it is totally fine if they complain about certain experiences is so pronounced. Felt so good hearing it also in the creative department

[@KimberlyMackoy]

Someone told me once--though I cannot verify the psychological nor neurological veracity of this--that the act of speaking things aloud actually recruits a different part of the brain into processing things, versus the monotonous internal monologue. Like, we literally hear ourselves, and taking in the sound of the thing triggers us to process it as if someone else is saying it, to a degree. What are solutions? Is it true? Etc. And those questions seldom occur in the vacuum of rumination.

[@elfieblue3175]

The 20-year journey: a quilt top I started in 2002. I needed this video today. I'm going to log off, now.

[@schoolofup-sewing7523]

My first quilt took me 10 years to finish. You can do this!

[@clumsycolours1677]

Good luck Elfie!!

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

I would be interested in a progress report. Will you be posting pictures or a video on your channel?

[@sammythehamster9093]

I was working on my second quilt started 2015 and did restart last year but had to stop when because miffed during remeasuring it need 1 more row. I'm gonna restart once all fabric pieces are cut for first section. I use EPP involved tacking all the pieces on card base it's the hand sewing which takes the longest. I'm working on small side projects till can get organised. There are lot of things going on at the moment.

[@marykisner6662]

For me it's the two matching child sized quilt tops I started when my sons were small. Now they have children of their own who are almost teen agers. Being in lock down during pandemic gave me reason to pull the blocks out, finish the tops, layer them into quilts and actually hand quilt them. They'll never win a prize, but I gave up on being perfect and I'm finally happy to be getting them done. One down, one to go. Keep up the good work, Elfie, you can do it!

[@DancethedrizzleBlogspot]

Ooh, that little chat between the maker and the owner... that's a clever perspective!

[@meredithbriski7299]

Brilliant and helpful!

[@stargirl7646]

It is! (Though sometimes I’ve made things and then not wanted to own them 😂)

[@sofiagarrahan395]

So true! Wisdom, right?

[@TheJoyNinjaNZ]

This was such a powerful idea for me too!

[@florabernstein605]

Dont let the"perfect" be the killer of the "good enough". When you are a beginner,treat "perfect" as a swear word.

[@meredithbriski7299]

If it's important enough to do well, it's also important enough to do poorly if that's the best result you can get.

[@esmecat]

i wish i had some reference for it... but i never could find anything on it later in life... but when i was in school, my art teacher once told use the story of Picasso drawing in the sand on the beach every day, only to have to tide wash it away. we are not born perfect artists. we need to exercise our craft to be able to do things well after doing them badly enough times. not every piece is meant to be an heirloom. but every piece is important in becoming the person that makes that final heirloom or masterpiece.

[@stargirl7646]

@@esmecat I love this so much!! I just bought a tiny little tablet (like a mini etch-a-sketch but with a stylus) to use for practicing drawing. Using up actual paper makes me scared to practice, but this way I can just erase and try again!

[@iloveprivacy8167]

"Perfect" should always be a swear word: when you're past being a beginner, you'll be more aware of mistakes you might not even have seen before - along with the new mistakes from taking on more advanced projects.

[@lenabjork4312]

I've recently switched focus from wanting the thing I'm doing to be finished asap (skipping steps, cutting corners and then being disappointed with the result), instead realizing: I do this because it's fun, it's my hobby, let it take time.

[@hannelieros6600]

Yesss! This is so important. When I stopped trying to finish projects by self-imposed deadlines, I actually enjoyed the process way more!

[@jeremiahgabriel5709]

@Lena thank you SO much for saying this. As a hobby craft human..... I feel that way often lately ... like I had somehow managed to forget that I was choosing to do this and no one was forcing me, except perhaps me.

[@lucaortolani2059]

Excuse me How dare you come out in this world, in front of my plaid home outfit, in front of God, wearing such a beautiful tight suspenders outfit? I'm stunned 💕

[@rhondacrosswhite8048]

Doesn’t she look lovely! I’m so envious of that figure as I sit here in flannel pyjama pants and an old t shirt.

[@stargirl7646]

I really loved that outfit too haha

[@ceciliar.l.1246]

Your videos feel like a pre-COVID hug.

[@CathyHay]

Thank you! This is the best compliment!

[@PoisonTheOgres]

Cathy, almost every video of yours has some little bit of gentle wisdom that I can immediately apply to my own life. Thank you for making such thoughtful videos!

[@jumooglie6119]

Yes Yes Yes Yes

[@petuniaandpoppy4615]

Same

[@MNkno]

"from the most inexperienced beginner to the most skilled professional, all of us are just essentially the same thing, all of us are just doing one stitch after another, that one stitch at a time.. it's a practice of putting faith in the process"... *sigh*... Cathy Hay, you're getting my long-term projects restarted!!! I used my first COVID lockdown to get started and set up, and then ... as things picked up, stopped working on it (I needed the tabletop space for some vitally needed paid work..).. and you're going to get things re-started now! Faith in the process....

[@hannahiseley7728]

I stumbled across this video and had no idea how beautiful of a person I would find. I'm 21 and have struggled with completing my period accurate clothing for about 4 years. I made it through 4 years of college here in America and lost myself. I am just now getting back into finishing a 1950s overall skirt with blouse and completing the design process of a black and white striped dress inspired by a 1952 pattern. You truly touched my heart today. I have gone back and forth with starting a KZbin channel, and want to get my old project completing soul going strong before I promise myself to others. Thank you so much for your support and love towards creators.

[@goldstarsforall]

I need to send this to my mum. She started a cross stitch for me when she was expecting. I'm 19

[@mammadingo]

Whenever I'm making something for someone else, I remind myself (frequently) that either 1. They don't know enough about the craft to notice that I flubbed some little thing or 2. They know enough to be grateful I put so much effort into it, perfect or not. With big projects, I like to walk away from them and do something small and thus faster just to get that sweet, sweet feeling of accomplishment to propel me further along the big projects. It does mean the big projects take longer, but hey! Eventually, you'll have something big to brag about! ;)

[@angelartamesia2]

I have never heard someone speak so elegantly with such a high level of vocabulary yet explains so simply lol

[@miedo8114]

I had a project of embroidery that I started as a gift to my grandparents. It took 5 years to compleet, putting it away countless times. It had a flaw in the pattern that I noticed to late. Every time I started again I thought 'why continue, it is all good for nothing'. My grandfather past away so now I really wanted to finish it for my grandmother. I did finish it! The flaw wasn't noticeably in the end. By finishing this, especially in the final moments of the project I gained the joy and excitement of embroidery. Now I have no problem finishing a new project, because now I know the thrill. My grandma is very proud of my embroidery en shows it to everybody. When I visit I see that is not as neat as my embroidery is now, but I love to see how far I've come. So keep going everyone and get that 'makers thrill'!!

[@bdgies2721]

Someone once said to me, “but you’re so talented.” To which I replied that I wasn’t special; I just show up every day and do my stuff... Every. Bloody. Day. My blocks come from uncertainty, when I’ve taken on a project that pushes my skill set and I come to that point where I don’t know what to do next. I’ve finally learned to ask for help instead of stuffing it out of sight. 😉

[@PensiveOmen]

I find many crafters and artists dislike the word "talent". It implies you didn't do anything to earn your ability, whereas "skilled" implies you've been working at it to get to the level you've achieved. So, you're very skilled, and that's something to be proud of, because you worked for it.

[@thedenimchefsews]

@@PensiveOmen I really like that. I'll be mulling on that for a while.

[@thedenimchefsews]

Brenda, thats what I've been learning and observing from those who are inspiring me by what they do. Showing up every day consistently, and pushing through the blocks that come from stretching the skill set. So good!

[@MSYNGWIE12]

What if you can't start because you have NO IMAGINATION. And I can't even understand the instructions Cathy showed on the needlepoint. I always wanted a Lady and the Unicorn tapestry- not quite as intricate as the original but I love antiques, and esp. William Morris, the Pre-Raphaelite Painters and The Arts and Crafts Movement- plus I live in a Victorian house- so...any ideas- I am NOT able to draw, write, compose, etc- I studied art history and I SAW talent and brains and imagination every time I sneaked into the studio- what they threw in the garbage! Namaste, Z

[@PensiveOmen]

@@MSYNGWIE12 none of us can do those things until we learn how. If you want to draw, you start with complete garbage drawings. You're supposed to. Then, learn one new thing, another new thing etc. The fact that you can't do those things yet just means you're ready for the first steps. U don't have to be creative to create.

[@unrulycrow6299]

It's what's currently happening to me with a writing project: I realised I made a mistake with the timeline - a mistake I can actually correct fairly easily, but it upset me and now I can't get back to writing, and it makes me even more frustrated! Anyway, I'm definitely sharing this video on my Writing Discord server, it may be useful to everybody to understand and accept their situation when they're feeling stuck or having trouble getting it on with their project!

[@CathyHay]

Thank you very much, I'd appreciate that very much! I'm glad this resonates for you, Unruly Crow!

[@meredithbriski7299]

Yes, what I "make" principally are writing projects which are the source of my employment. Perfectionism and procrastination are fearsome beasts when your employment is on the line! And writing can be so challenging when they are crouched over you. I think the trick about making my inner writer tell my inner critic that I'm okay with what I'm doing will help.

[@MalissaWilson]

I felt this since I have yet to finish outlining a book I want to write this year. I have a few days off, so that'll be my next project!

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

I am vicariously glad that you are doing so. This is a wonderfully informative and thorough video about how to get on with getting on. I love how Lady Hey uses someone's requests as an outline for her workshop.

[@SewTexas]

Its all about the journey, the destination diminishes. Finished is better than perfect.

[@jimhooper4252]

This is THE MOST VALUABLE video I have ever watched on these sewing channels THE BEST !....you guessed it I watch the sewing channels instead of finishing my projects !!!! “ thanks thanks and ever thanks “ as Shakespeare wrote ...

[@fridabafverfeldt2008]

The irony that I now want to start a cross stitch project..

[@1sharewithu771]

That is too funny! And exactly how I behave.

[@rainieraine1192]

Yes! With one of those clever holders....

[@charlotta5660]

Startitis. The struggle is real.

[@altarofannihilation8693]

The beauty of putting a project down, is the opportunity to rediscover what made you start in the first place. If your worried about perfection, just remember that it’s not always about finishing the peace you started, living with your work will make you better at making.

[@meredithbriski7299]

Sometimes when I pick it back up, I rediscover the reason I got stuck the last time. But what a good point about living with imperfect objects! Perhaps it will both teach us how to solve problems to achieve better results, and help us become less judgmental.

[@stargirl7646]

@@meredithbriski7299 “living with imperfect objects” oh that is SUCH a good phrase! I think maybe we’ve gotten used to everything being machine perfect

[@meredithbriski7299]

@@stargirl7646 So true! But I also teach Living History to 4-H club kids, and the thing about practicing Living History is that when you begin to work with artifacts and reproductions of historic pieces and performing every day tasks with them, you start to get used to things that aren't machine made. Since I began to practice Living History, I have found myself incorporating historical practices into my own everyday cooking, and slowly my kitchen has become a sort of mishmash of the best modern appliances I can afford, and really old fashioned bowls, cooking pans, tea pots, and utensils, which use the best technology of previous time periods. And those pieces, made with historically appropriate materials and techniques, are distinctly imperfect. So it changes your tolerances for what is good enough, you know? My very favorite tea pot, which is a brown betty, is older than I am, and has a chip in the lid, but I keep using it anyway. I'm convinced it makes tea better.

[@employme2]

I find myself laying down a project & having to think on it sometimes for weeks. first I have to draw the problem in my head, see myself attacking the problem pieces. then maybe having to start the thinking process all over again, as their was a flaw in my first thought process. tomorrow, I paint my bedroom walls, uugh@

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

@@employme2 I hope it goes well. Is it plain painting? If it's something fancy, are you going to share on KZbin? Rachel Maksy recently made an ethereal forest on one of her walls.

[@marykayryan7891]

Not having the right tools can also make the project seem very difficult and frustrating. Then when one gets the proper tool, although there can be a learning curve on a complex tool, it still can make the work so much easier and so encouraging.

[@sathdhdbsj8723]

I get the motivation to finish something just by watching other people do it. It gets me excited about it again and I actually finish, and that is absolutely the most joyous moment, just feeling so proud and happy with myself

[@sunshineseamstress1746]

I had been procrastinating on my skirt for over 3 weeks because of how much money I had spent on the materials and how much time and effort I had already poured into it. I finally started working on it again yesterday and I am so glad! I remembered just how excited I was about it. Thank you for all the encouragement 😊

[@NorthernHedgeWitch]

One of my hesitations for finishing things, as weird as this may sound, is that once I finish it - it is done. I just finished knitting a pair of socks but still have the tails of yarn to weave in. I don’t want to do it because I enjoyed knitting the socks and once those tails are weaved in then it’s done. I won’t ever work on creating those socks ever again. But then I remind myself that I can now use those socks and allow myself to start something new that I have the potential to enjoy even more than the last project.

[@asmith6006]

When my kidneys started failing, I needed a project where I could do small pieces, and take them with me to drs appointments and such. I took a 9-square crochet along from Lilla Bjorn Crochet, and started making it into a very fancy 130 granny square coat. I am one new kidney, and 100 squares into the project, and it just stalled. I started up again a few days ago, and ordered the yarn to finish it up. This video came at a perfect moment for me. I really want to finish this by Fall. I am moving this month, so my whole world is upended tea cups right now, but you have given me a bit of a lift!

[@manuelakroft5716]

I just picked up on finishing 2 nice T-shirts for my partner that I promised him 2 years ago. I'm very proud of myself. And he is overjoyed and already wearing one nonstop.

[@VBirchwood]

"This is our journey, isn't it, as makers" really hits home. Nothing teaches you to work through frustration and find solutions like making things, especially hand sewing historical garments in my case. But the beauty is, once you get over the bump, you develop an incredible ability to tackle that challenge the next time around, I think the key is just being patient and kind to yourself as much as possible throughout the process.

[@sinlobo84]

Wise words

[@VBirchwood]

@@sinlobo84 thank you 😊

[@ariannasmith2701]

I always start one project and then get inspired by another project in the middle of it.

[@jeniferc798]

Amen Sister!!! I get so excited about the next one I don’t finish the first one and before you know it I have a pile of UFOs!!

[@karly2190]

@Kath MollerI agree with you method. I find a duo of projects works best for me. One to move on to when I get bored/frustrated. But your forced to still be moving them forward.

[@science6277]

I’d like to add one thing to your lovely video. Get excited about and celebrate the little milestones. For your embroidery project, saying “I just finished another leaf!” allows you to get excited about what you have already achieved, and that helps keep motivation and interest along the way. This is especially true for bigger projects.

[@yrsaderoos1572]

I knit and crochet and the thing that helped me most is learning that frogging/taking out the project is not a bad thing at all. It is not a waste of time.The people around me constantly tell me that I never finish my projects because I am starting over again, but in my mind I am still working on the project but with new knowledge, making something that I can be proud of, that shows how much I have learned.

[@meamela9820]

Now I know why I procastinated on the second sleeve: I am bothered about the gathers being uneven compared to the sleeve I already made. To do: redo the basting for more even gathers. And I had another project I got stuck on for months and yesterday I started on it again. The problem was I found it difficult to sew on the mashine. Solution: do it by hand instead. Feels like I have more control over what I am doing then.

[@meamela9820]

@@Sarandib22 Yes I know. This is more a question about where the gathers sit, not how they look. And I stitch the sleeve by hand, so by basting I mean the big stiches that hold things together instead of pins. Not the gathering threads.

[@akabga]

Those classic folk art books are just what I've been looking for!! I am so happy right now, I seriously felt like writing the entire previous sentence in all caps, but that isn't my style.

[@CharmEng89]

I remember that, as a small child, I was often told not to whinge. Now I'm older... it was my lightbulb moment when my SO said, "Oh, you process by talking".... WHA--? So, talking through the problem, makes so much sense to me.

[@aquarterpast]

I really like the whinging suggestion. When working on large prints or cross stitch patterns, I’ll find myself griping, “Ugh, there is so much left to do...” and that leads to “...but one more stitch is one less to do...” and I keep going until it’s fun again.

[@helooksad6408]

i feel like the universe wanted me to see this video

[@elissacolwill5012]

This makes me think of that quote (I can't remember who said it) "The most important step isn't the first one, but the next one" and I feel like it sums up this video really well. Today, I am going to finish the (very short) story I am writing in German with as little help from Google Translate as possible. I've been finding it hard because of the limitations, but I am genuinely enjoying the story.

[@Xina..]

I baked a batch of cranberry muffins today, that I had been meaning to make for over a week. And this evening I got some project emails out that, again, had been postponed for over a week. I returned home a week and a half ago, after spending two weeks helping my dad after his release from hospital following a stroke. My siblings and I spent that time furiously trying to take care of as much as possible, including getting him settled into an assisted living facility with his partner. We also stayed masked the whole time, conscious of the risks of traveling away from home, even in a vital situation like this. When I returned, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. But I crossed two things off my list tonight. I still feel awful, mostly due to everything going on in my life and in the world, and inertia is still looming over me. I have a sewing project that has sat, untouched, since last summer. I got overwhelmed when patterning it, and never picked it up again. I think I’ll try to this week. Thank you.

[@skitdavitt]

My mother will be most pleased with me doing the homework for this one. I started crocheting her a continuous granny square rug almost ten years ago and then just set it aside out of boredom. Now the project represents an unfulfilled promise, my unreliability and her disappointment, and I feel weary when I go to work on it. Thank you for another uplifting and inspiring video

[@GoGoGoLilQueenie]

I'm creating my daughter's wedding dress for her wedding in October. I consider myself an intermediate sewer and this is slightly beyond my abilities. So, to keep the project from overwhelming me, I have broken up this project into sections. With each step I have chosen to learn a new technique or use a new fabric [etc]. I refuse to let it fuel my anxiety or shut me down. I have joined FR and I also watch your videos here to keep me on track. Thank you for all you do. Whether you realize it or not, you are my inspiration.

[@loraleitourtillottwiehr2473]

I agree with this perspective. Breaking a project up in to manageable steps can really it be less overwhelming. Noelle from Costuming Drama has an inspirational video about just that.

[@quotoligest1769]

I couldn't have said it better myself, Splunge4Me2Art. Thank you for writing this comment and good luck with the dress! It is going to happen, it is going to get finished, and I believe it will look fabulous when it does!

[@GoGoGoLilQueenie]

Thank you,@@quotoligest1769

[@RianneStout]

Enjoy the process. I know from experience that it can be scary and challenging at times, but it seems you have enough time to experiment, learn and sort everything out. (I made my own wedding dress with help of my mother and mother-in-law, and my father and father-in-law took care of the fabric flower-bouquet, once I decided on the look I wanted. I still cherish the memories.)

[@ginalou5774]

That is amazing. What a lucky girl to have a dress made by her mum on such a special day. Well done.

[@jenndixon1002]

I know I'm just shouting into the void here, but Cathy, I finished that afghan I mentioned in a previous comment, and my mother is finally receiving her gift, over a year late, but it's done. Your video helped so, so much. Thank you.

[@CathyHay]

That's amazing! Well done Jenn!

[@MSinclairStevens]

Last year I came to the realization that most of my pleasure derives from the process not the product of my interests whether I’m studying a language, gardening, drawing, or sewing. People ask “What do you get out of it?” as if a product was the sole value of my work. For me, it’s the work itself that has most value. The doing. So now I view all these activities as different practices, a daily part of living rather than a means to an end.

[@CathyHay]

Yes! Agreed. It's a practice and a meditation. Now, how to make the *whole* of life a practice and a meditation? 🙂

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

I am LIVING for the Paul bettany trudge clip! I can't tell you how many times in my life I've said that clip over again to myself in my head! He is, as the kids say these days, "a whole mood".

[@sweetiedahling8137]

This video and the comment section are exactly what I need right now, thank you 🧡

[@ImFromVT]

I find community the best impetus for finishing. Here on KZbin there is a cross stitch community tagged FlossTube. It’s just stitcher after stitcher showing how they started these 50 projects, or whatever, and did a corner or made some rows of progress. And showing what they’ve finished. Sometimes it takes 3,4,5 years for them to finish. I’ve found some who dug 20 year old unfinished projects out to work on. It’s always a celebration of whatever they could do. I’ve found it hugely inspiring, not just to finish, but to start something big and slightly beyond me. Especially now when I’ve been stuck in the house for more than a year projecting alone.

[@Balutak]

I have several times in the past lost enthusiasm for how a project is turning out due to major mistakes, and ended up with a big bag of disheartening "failures" I couldn't fix well and didn't want to finish. My solution was to find someone else who loves whatever it is and offer to give it to them to finish with their own flair. This has worked out so well for a number of projects and freed me from feeling I must finish something I no longer love or couldn't wear (sleeves came out too short, etc.) while helping a friend try something more difficult without the fear they'll "wreck" expensive materials. We both win!

[@peeves7079]

I was avoiding this video because I knew you would call me out. I'm glad I watched it, I needed some accountability. Thank you.

[@Aurriel]

Thank you for reflecting on this topic! I had two additional thoughts about it: 1) Don't beat yourself up about projects you did not finish (yet). The feeling of guilt can drain more energy than just finishing the project. 2) Every project teaches us something. And sometimes it just simply teaches us that something is not for us. I think finding out waht you don't like/enjoy is just as important than finding out what you like/enjoy.

[@MinasMagic]

I'm dragging my heals on my first wool skirt and thanks to the maker/owner perspective, I understand why. The maker is happy to learn and try something new. The owner desires perfection. It's this ongoing battle that too often causes projects to take far longer than they need to...

[@whitewitch32]

I have to many projects, sawing, gardening, waiting for my hubby to build my greenhouse and some more of gardening weaving basket's from newspaper which I had learned from KZbin. My brain never sleeps. 😅

[@Louise270681]

I like it when a project that has slight defects, it makes it one of a kind.

[@denisehill7769]

I see on various FB cross stitch groups rafts of people, yes mostly women, with multiple WIPs, serial starters (I am one, I admit)....it's so easy to get totally bogged down with our projects BUT - we have to remember who is in charge here, is it the wip pile or is it us? It might help to form the mental attitude that we own this, and not the other way round. Something else I found helpful recently - I use a scroll frame for my embroidery and a week or so back I deliberately took the smallest crappy plastic hoop I have, picked up a huge and boring project, and worked on one small block at a time. No longer was I faced with a massive half-done piece of work, I now had a small manageable area to focus on, and I actually made good progress this way. Not as easy to do with sewing projects, but sometimes just breaking a project down into small manageable tasks is all you need to throw off the burden.

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

That sounds like a great idea. Congratulations. I hope it works for you.

[@lisashaw8816]

I had started 3 candlewicking pillows in my teens and put them away. I was to cool for needle work. This year I pulled them out and fished all three of them. It felt amazing to see them done and to see that I still remembered how to do that craft at 48. My next task will be all the cross stitch projects. Thank you for all your inspiration.

[@lisacastano1064]

I started one when I was in high school lol I finally finished it for my daughter's first birthday.

[@alhambralions5985]

Bravo! (Brava?) It’s inspiring to hear about a project resumed. I turn now to my nest of unfinished projects and embroidery thread. 🧵

[@puppetplushmasters]

Darn it Cathy! Why do your inspirational videos always make me cry?! It's getting to a point where every time you make one of these, it is always EXACTLY what I needed to hear because the imposter syndrome and self doubt and judgement of myself as a maker is so hard to overcome. It just, impacts me when you give these tidbits of advice. I really appreciate it. Thank you~!

[@bethkolle1]

I get bogged down when I can’t figure out how to fix something or solve a problem. If I put it down it may lie festering for years. So lately my solutions include: pretend it’s a new project and re-begin it; or, tell myself to Just Do It; or, divide up the steps needed to finish and challenge myself with little sub-deadlines. These strategies all work for me. I’ve been finishing so many languishing projects that my confidence is soaring! Also, for solving problems or needing to acquire new skills, KZbin is the GREATEST resource!

[@LisaGrimm-LG]

"So as soon as I got a knife sharpener and started sharpening the knives - oh, suddenly I enjoy chopping stuff again!" This is such a curious sentence if heard out of context... xD On a serious note, I must thank you, Cathy, for I am a total perfectionist who for most of my life believed that I'm incapable of creating anything with my own hands (in Russian there's a word which is roughly translated as "asshanded", and I used to describe myself as such). Your videos helped me overcome my fear of getting the scissors into my hands (because I clearly can't cut in a straight line) and or stitching two pieces of fabric to make a skirt (because I thought that I can't sew and that it's so incredibly difficult that it's beyond my capabilities). You often hear about "nothing's ever perfect" and "you should just try it", and "you should believe in yourself" but something in your advice in particular convinced me to actually believe it and get to work and just keep going until it's done. Thank you so very much!

[@reesekolcow6136]

A bit of Sweeney Todd? :)

[@astrothsknot]

for me, the way to complete any project is to set myself a certain amount of whatever it is each. Just a small amount and I can do more if I want, but I must each day do the minimum amount. I write 100 words each day. I have a small amount of housework that must be completed. I find it builds the habit, even just at that small amount and over time it builds up, like money in a bank. I apply that to everything. I'm getting back into working out again, so will do just half an hours' yoga each day. I have very limited energy and I find little and often every day allows me to do it without draining myself and being overwhelmed.

[@tictactoe325]

My cousin also shared this with me. She said just do a small bit of vacuuming each morning, do the dishes and then sit down to sew or write. It’s made such a huge difference, now I vacuum, do dishes and then get on with the project.

[@roseforget881]

As for fear, feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear of a new skill will never kill you.

[@mandyballge632]

The maker is afraid of the judge. Wow so profound.🤔 I need to remember that and be less harsh of a judge and more of an excited maker! Love your insight!

[@EmilyBHelms]

Well, this perfectly aligned with my self-imposed Finishing Friday (I like alliterative day tasks - like Monday Mending) to pick up one of several in progress or hibernating knitting or crochet projects and get back to work on something I want to fix and hopefully finish before we’re in really warm weather again.

[@ahuman3642]

I worry that every one of us in the comment section are all just the same person, like how do we all have similar if no the exact same views and/or problems, this is amazing/weird.

[@luciemakesthings]

Thank you for your gentle wisdom Cathy. Every time I watch one of your videos, I am reminded of how wholesome your content is, it's refreshing.

[@alethearia]

There's an Irish philosophy that doing the work is its own kind of magic and I've noticed this to be true. If I just pick up the thing I've been avoiding and I just ask, "Okay, what next" and do that thing, and I continue the process of just doing the next right thing without thinking about the effort taken to do it... magically I look up and the thing is somehow already done. Like, all that time I spent thinking about it... I stopped thinking and did it and it is definitely like magic. The time goes by without you being aware of it, and the work moves under your hands and viola! tis done.

[@kyriea3112]

I finished a fantasy-style cloak that I've been putting off for weeks! (Granted, I was more put off by the person it's being made for, buuut its done so there!)

[@wert73907]

one thing I do, that helps with going on and avoiding procrastinating on projects, is taking 2 project and when I am bored or have trouble with one i procrastinate and work on the other

[@marykisner6662]

I'm like that too. When I'm tired of sewing, I'm knitting, or crocheting, or embroidering. There are things I can only do at home, and then I need things to carry with me in the car or traveling. They all get done, just that for one reason or another they appeal to my brain at different times.

[@LuluRushCosplay]

My tip as a cosplayer, who has procrastination issues, is I break my projects into smaller parts. That way I reach small goals...... Or I sprinkle in small projects or reading a book...... When I was a beginner I tried to stick with projects that were close to my skills and slowly took on bigger projects. My new adventure, undergarments! 😁😁😁😁 Just keep going! You can do it! 😔😔😔 I still obsess over things being perfect.

[@tonygroves5526]

Thank you Ms Hay, for helping me to learn the value of whinging! I have finished an embroidered skirt and a bra after watching your video.

[@TPow027]

Your videos always have a calming and support effect on me that I really needed. As a creator struggling with chronic pain and ADHD, I need a schedule to get things done, but with chronic pain can't have a reliable schedule. Hearing that it's alright to work bit by bit rather than not at all, because of outside frustrations, is something that I needed. Thanks for being one of my "comfort creators" that I go to when having a rough time.

[@kevinalterman9749]

This was like a video from the gods directed straight at me. I have such a hard time finishing projects but everything you said is so true. There's a dress that's been on my dress form for a year. There's a crochet project in my drawer that I haven't finished. There is a cross stitch I started that I think is so gorgeous but it's so tedious to me. I just have to take a step back at each project and try to figure out what exactly it is about each one that makes me want to put it away, and try to make a change to get me excited about the project again. I'm going to finish my crochet project and my dress. I know what I have to do for both, it's time to stop procrastinating

[@johanna5688]

Kevin, I have a historical shirt I started 1 year ago now. I know why I haven't got round to finishing it. The style is a little difficult/time consuming. The shirt itself is almost finished. I now have to make & attach the pleated cuffs for the sleeves, and make a detachable pleated collar, like 500 years ago (think Nostradamus). I know how to do it, but feel lazy when it's something for myself. When I'm making something for someone else, I aim to please and find it more enjoyable. I'm a good pattern drafter & seamstress and I just love the look on someone's face when they try their garment on. It gives me a high. It looks great on the wearer & they love it. I wish I was more motivated when it's time to make things for myself.

[@Eszoable]

Okay Cathy, I shall return to my crochet that I look at every morning I wake up. But ye, thank you for this video. I think a lot of makers forget that we need to be humble in this journey and just enjoy the steps we make, how small they may be. I also feel perhaps the weight of emotions we put into each project make the task at hand larger than it actually is. Every time we want to go back on the project all these emotions flood over you. Can be hard to take it piece by piece that way.

[@sarahhoffmann7159]

This video is so perfectly timed. I've had a pair of jeans and a pair of mittens in a little pile that is called "to be mended" for at least as long as we been in the pandemic (so at least a year). Last weekend, I took them to my dining room table with my sewing kit and did the work of mending them while my husband watched Premier League in the other room. The satisfaction that I felt having completed that mending was far greater than I imagined!

[@insanityisorange8659]

I literally had a screaming argument with my husband about this this morning. Right now I have 3 sewing projects 2 wood projects and 6 resin orders at various stages of completion. I'm going to write a list of importance and not move on to the next until they are done or at a stage i cannot move on till something cures or dries! Now I just need to actually write the list without procrastinating and ill be good! 😆 ty cathy

[@thedenimchefsews]

I JUST wrote a list yesterday to work through one at a time because I can get overwhelmed by all of the projects I have floating around.

[@lenabreijer1311]

The most freeing thing for me is to be able to whinge about a project, decide it is not for me and to give it away, get rid of it. There comes a time where finishing something that no longer meets your needs has to be let go off. Don't waste precious time or energy on a project like that.

[@Rhaifha]

Agreed. It's okay to let go of a project if it's not going anywhere. I recently decided to just donate a few skeins of eyelash yarn that had been in my stash since forever. It's not going to find a project in my house, so it might as well go to someone else.

[@blazertundra]

Exactly. This weekend, I decided to retire a UFO quilting project and repurpose the fabric. It's pretty satisfying to see some of it end up in a cute pleated skirt instead of taking up space in the garage.

[@kes05d]

I started a large cable knit blanket when I was a teenager, got about halfway through it, and then fell away from it. It stayed in a bag under my guest bed, moving with me from house to house until I finally decided I would start trying to either finish or throw out old projects. Deciding that I didn't want to do some of my projects anymore was also really freeing and it led to me having the mental space to go, "Yes, I do want to finish this. This one is important." Over 15 years after I started it, it's done. It's smaller than it should be, because teenage me didn't buy enough yarn to begin with, but it's a lovely lap blanket and it sits on our living room couch and is absolutely beautiful. Thanks for the advice, though, Cathy. I do have a few more projects I really should get to. That five minutes a day advice might be just the ticket for some of them.

[@m-jud1701]

My aunt taught me cross stitch as a small child (to help with breathing/anxiety and hyperactivity). Yet, I have finished very very few projects in the 10+ years since then. I finished 3 in the last six months, and another one is on its way. The first one was boredom from covid then the PRIDE of showing my first done work to my friends. Now they give me accountability and I am having more fun than ever. :)

[@CallMeMrRook]

Yes. Exactly... Start it finish it else something more shiny will over shadow it

[@clairestehr9896]

"your homework is to finish something small" I'm a pretty experienced crocheter, a novice knitter, and a novice sewer. The small projects are where i feel most comfortable since crochet is small projects heavy. Big projects are a bit daunting, but every little project is a place for improvement and I'm here for the small projects.

[@schwomps]

"This is what I can do right now. And this is okay" ❤

[@CandycaneLane999]

I've made 6 cross stitched Christmas stockings for my family. They take me about a year to finish, which I thought was acceptable.... people who don't stitch think OMG, what a waste of time. I leave it all in a basket by my chair, as we sit and watch tele in the evenings or just when ever the mood strikes me I work on it. Some times it sits for an extended period ( usually in nice weather) and I have to push myself to pick it up and just do 20 mins work on it. There is nothing like that feeling of satisfaction when you hold up your finished piece and think "I made that".... well maybe seeing your baby for the first time is better.... a little🙂

[@ellahornquist4803]

I really needed this. I was inspired by Bernadette Banner last summer to start sewing a skirt fully by hand and since July I've working on it on and off. Some days I really enjoy it, but lately I've really been putting it off cause it's taking me forever. Thank you for the advice :)

[@mariek.474]

Thinking "Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient" often makes me more patient with projects : they don't need to be done quickly, but they have to be done someday and in the way that I would like them to (not necessarily perfect, but made with care). I've recently copied an embroidered victorian waist belt with foliage and flowers I saw online, I dedicated myself to the embroidery for a bit more than a week intensely but when it was done, I got lazy about making the belt itself, just closing it with interlining and closure. I put it off for more than *three* weeks ! 🤦 The boring step took a lot longer for me to get to although the required effort was truly lesser than the embroidery. But once I was "back in it", it was done within 24hours and I felt much better. Thanks for your encouraging words Cathy ! This weekend I might take up again the project of a 70s dress I'm modying to fit me better, maybe shop around for some lace to add to it.

[@quotoligest1769]

I have always found the boring step to take several times longer than the interesting bits. It is like I can't be bothered to compel myself to finish something, even when I am really looking forward to the finished product.

[@stargirl7646]

I love your first paragraph especially!

[@leiria87gaming]

The clip from A Knight's Tale alone just made this video perfection!

[@jeniferalvarez2914]

You make so many great points Cathy! As does the person who wrote you that letter. I started sewing, wow, in the fall of 2019. A family friend was teaching me to sew. I started small. I wanted to learn to sew so that I could make eco friendly swaps with sewing. The first project I made was a zippered boxy pouch. I went to her house any time we could meet up. And then I made a second pouch. And then....covid 😷 happened. Her husband is at risk so I completely stopped going over. The day before our state was to lock down my mom decided to get me my sewing machine so that I’d have something to do during lockdown. I’ve leaned so much in the (almost) year that I’ve had my machine. I did small projects to start. I made so many masks and hated every second of it (because my mom basically forced me to do it and I’m an adult btw!), but I learned so much in the process! I didn’t know what tension was or how to properly pin or that there were all sorts of needle types. I’ve worked my way up to slightly bigger projects. I think my largest projects so far have been my sewing machine covers that I made from cotton fabric. And not much went into those. Yes, I have two machines now! My newest baby is my Baby Lock serger. I love her so much! As you said with having the right materials for the job, I got her because I’m disabled. On the sewing machine it takes so long to get something done, I have a hard time feeding my fabric straight, not hunching over to keep my eyes as close to the fabric as possible. For me a serger was what I needed. I’m also disabled. Being disabled and a beginner makes projects take much longer than they should. Also, as a learner I tell myself “it’s ok if I’m not stitching a straight line” or “it’s ok if I have to rip up this seam.” It’s a learning process and it will take time. It’s hard to have patience when I’m constantly in pain, but that’s what you need to have. If you have a hard time finishing a project, take a break. I always thought I had to finish everything in one sitting, but I take breaks when I need to. More often than not, things go wrong for me. It would be very unproductive if I started crying or getting pissed.

[@lauramilne3367]

What a wise and insightful piece of advice for life, the universe and everything! I've slowly been learning to get stuck into the meditative craft section of hobbies, also known as doing the little boring things that are the bulk of most crafts and not pulling at the bit to just get to finished. I can track my sewing projects over the years and I can see when I started paying attention to basic and important things that more impatient-beginner-me skipped over.

[@curiouscat3384]

LOVE this Cathy! I'm usually pretty good at finishing things but I'm amused every day when I look at a crocheted white cotton doily on my dresser that was intended to be a bedspread cover - which I started when I was 14 and now I'm 66, LOL I think it stalled because the project started when I was just learning to crochet, but was never really passionate about the bedspread cover idea as my furnishings style has changed many times over the years. So now it's just a sentimental bit of a lovely floral design under my jewelry box to remember my Great Aunt who taught me to crochet :)

[@aksez2u]

Also a thought-provoking commentary on how fast time passes!

[@johanna5688]

This is just so funny. Your big project stopped when it was the size of a doily. 😂😂😂😂

[@curiouscat3384]

@@aksez2u oh god yes!

[@elladunnet]

That's the best !!! It's hard and physically and mentally wearing. But once you trudge for a few miles it becomes your friend. It's a rhythm, almost meditative. And before you know it you're at the end and you miss the familiar trudging you've grown used to. And so you move on and start over. Thanks again Cathy for sharing! I'm in the process of making a lean-to greenhouse at the moment and just had a trudging day indeed. I also have a crochet cardigan that has been sat under my bed for a few months because I made a mistake on the collar... And then I'm also sat in my bedroom that has plaster and paint sample marks all over the wall because I'm scared to choose the wrong colour for my wall - since July.

[@joseywales1150]

Gosh Ms Hay you have the wisdom of the greatest generation.

[@wynnewhitten-holmes5090]

PLEASE BLESS US WITH YOUR SECRETS

[@brianadixon8995]

That is a whole new perspective for me: to actually whine about the thing to find out why you hate it. I had always been taught to suck and deal, just keep going. But stopping to see why you hate the thing and seeing if there is a solution makes a LOT more sense and is more encouraging.

[@KR-ue1gd]

Yes! And give yourself permission to outsource the parts you hate, if you can. Quilting is a good example: I like piecing quilt tops, but dislike tying up my sewing machine for the lengthy and awkward process of quilting. So I send my tops to a long-arm quilter, who DOES enjoy that and has good tools for it, and she quilts it. When it comes back to me I have the fun of binding. It costs money to outsource, but I think of it as paying for the stress to go away.

[@jamiemorison9139]

Just knowing others struggle in the same way and that that is normal is liberating. I have purchased my supplies over and over so am very well supplied, but cannot start. I know it is because I do not want to be disappointed in what I can produce. I also know I cannot get better without doing the work. But nonetheless the hesitation is so strong. I also love that it is fine to winge! In today's day in age where we are always told to "be positive", it is nice to hear that we could complain and that as a result we might discover in the problem really is. Quite frankly I'm not satisfied with what I produce at the beginning, "art for art's sake" does not fly with me.

[@tefhambrosia]

I'm from Colombia, with O in Latin America, and I'm passing a huge drepression watching all you Costubers (mostly Bernadette and you), and not only you have helped me a lot to mantein myself up, bot in to inspire me to do things. I started the cape from All American Dutches (If i'm well recalling how to write their name), I start self learning how to embroider, I gave myself for my uncoming birthday a sewing kit, I'm doing a wrist pillow for needles, and I even start to think in open a KZbin channel. I'm really thankfull for you exist in the world, and having make you part of mine, even thow I struggle a lot to find what you use in your garments cause the fabric translation not always it corresponds with the name that we gave things in Colombia, and also we have a really different garment culture that makes harder to find some kinds of fabric or fabrics with natural fibers (for example theres not muselin here in Colombia, I don´t now jet how it is call here). Well, all of this just to thank you and to tell you something about the struggles of wanting to follow your costumers steps (the steps of you costuber comunity) form a distant part of the world.

[@jeneraemay1535]

Thank you so much for this video! I was struggling to finish a stuffed animal I was making for my nephew and after this video I was able to finish it right up and give it to him. I realized I was was struggling with the transition between being the maker and then it being owned by someone else. I realized that he was likely going to love it even if it was bad and as my first stuffy I've ever made it was quite the accomplishment anyways. And he loved it so much even his family was impressed too! Thank you so much for your inspiring words 💜

[@ksjett86]

Perfect timing! I just laid my cross stitch down because it started to wear on me. It’s a large project and feels so endless, so I laid it down to grab some lunch. While eating checked my email and boom! Motivation! Thank you!

[@head_huntress]

Cathy, your words in the video are so uplifting and supportive. And I've noticed with each new video your voice is getting stronger. If that isn't inspiration itself, then I don't know what is. Thank you for pushing us!

[@larissamc5153]

I paused your video and ordered an embroidery hoop stand straight away, I realised why I'd abandoned my cross stitching, my hands were aching, I had the hoop propped up on yoga blocks and tailors hams, everything was awkward and it just wasn't working. This is one of the many reasons I adore your videos, all the "light bulb" moments. Here's to more finished objects, be they knitted, sewn or embroidered xo

[@MsAerosensa]

I also really struggle with finishing projects. Here are two things that have helped getting a bit of a change in perspective 1. Done is better than perfect 2. Every finished project is just a mockup for the next one. It doesn't need to be perfect.

[@adedow1333]

Oh thanks! I've just recently found out that I am a perfectionist (don't know how I never noticed before). So I get very frustrated if something goes wrong. Thanks very much for the permission to whine and fuss! It really does help you get to the core of the problem.

[@derpy_pizzaroll8850]

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" hearing you say that was an eye opener for me. It's such a simple sentence but it brought tears to my eyes and helped me realise that I will be able to do something someday. I get intimidated by simple things so often that I wonder how much I missed out on due to fear. Thank you for making this video and for sharing these words even if they weren't yours.

[@deborahlovel6337]

Cathy, watching this video and the updates on the Peacock Dress, I am inspired to embark on what is for me a rather ambitious project: creating a replica of a quilt that was created by my Great-Aunt Maggie's Copeland Davis. My family bought this quilt from Aunt Maggie in the mid-1970s, and ever since then I have been searching for a pattern. Quite recently, I enlisted the aid of my friend and fellow quilter, Tessie G., who was able to identify the source pattern. At present I am working to overcome my math/geometry deficits and get the cutting and piecing right.