How To Get The Shy Guy

[@caroremedi1]

Well, about three weeks ago I met this guy who I really liked but he was way too shy. I knew he liked me since a mutual friend of ours told me, but he just wouldn't ask me out. So I decided to make the first move. We were texting and he told me he was bored and I was like.. let's catch up for some drinks then! We did and had a lovely time. After that night, everything changed. He's asked me out on four dates since then! I'm actually seeing him tomorrow :D So ladies, don't be afraid of giving shy guys a bit more. Sometimes they just need a little push!

[@DarkClarity]

Legend says people have seen this woman descend from the heavens.

[@skaffatar7664]

@@DarkClarity whahahahahaha

[@pointingouttheobvious8130]

So that's it!! I'll definitely make the first move. 😍✊

[@trinhpham1492]

@@pointingouttheobvious8130 yupp me too 🙌

[@Joel-pg4yi]

What do you mean lovely night

[@snoringlemur2084]

As a shy guy myself i can honestly say this is GREAT advice! We are usually pretty clueless when it comes to flirting, and need the woman to make it clear she's attracted before we'll make a move!

[@justincase1919]

Infamouslemur2 Channel I think what we call " shyness " is often actually humility. Shy people just assume the other person is just being friendly and not actually interested. You have to be a little more forward with them for them to get that you're interested.

[@derelektrojude5938]

Yeah these days it's all about games & shit. I mean if you're forward then the other party knows what you're up to but if you are shy or reserved then the other party is unsure about your intentions. Both things can create or decrease attraction. I mean if a hot woman would be straight forward to me (which of course is basically never happening) it could lead to a weird thinking in the way of she's easy "prey" do i really want to pursue. It is so weird how our behaviour and mental thinking works. Saying that i'd like to be upfront but i'm a pussy

[@Dhalin]

@@derelektrojude5938 It also has to do with the SJW culture too. I've heard news stories where guys are asking for consent videos or some-crap and how MeToo has a lot of shy/introvert guys absolutely terrified of even touching a woman even if she did express interest. Women have ruined relationships, most normal decent guys just want to get together with a decent woman and enjoy life, but a loud vocal minority SJW culture has added politics into the mess, and MeToo and all this other junk... well, let's just say I wish I had lived a good 20-30 years earlier then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with it. Oh well. I'm single and I'll probably stay that way. Better than being drug into court on false rape charges.

[@Dgriffin425]

@@justincase1919 That's not really shyness. Like you said that's humility. They are definitely different. I personally am so shy, that I actually feel anxiety around people that I'm either attracted to or are interested in talking to, I've chiseled it down to being able to talk to girls I'm attracted to in passing, but can't really approach them.

[@Dgriffin425]

@@ahmunmun725 no it isn't.

[@c.shadou1897]

I’m not afraid of him not picking up hints... I’m afraid of him not wanting to :(

[@vernicesingleton2774]

Same

[@solutionsforabrightfuture3579]

Men reject women in a very gentle way. We rarely ever rudely reject women and will be shamed and considered a scum bag if they ever reject a woman in any other way then very gentle. Usually the worst way we accidently reject a woman is we didn't believe you wanted us.

[@trinhpham1492]

That's true

[@koreannom]

Unless ur going after a 'Chad Maximus', most likely he's much more terrified of being rejected by you. Since it's been 3 years, I hope you got him! or are in a good relationship!

[@SilvX610]

So true! I'm afraid of it too 😂

[@dawski4697]

Speaking from experience I will say this: When it comes to relationships, shy guys, in fact lots of guys, aren't dumb, they're just scared. They're afraid of making a fool of themselves if the girl says no. It's a barrier that they build in themselves from childhood and it takes A LOT for them to overcome that, they don't like to come out of their shell unless the girl makes the first move and it has to be pretty obvious that she likes him otherwise he won't try. It takes a lot of patience and gentleness to coax them out of their walls but once they do, You'll often find them to be some of the most enthusiastic and bubbly people ever, they just need encouragement. So don't be disheartened if they don't respond immediately, it doesn't mean their not interested, they're just waiting for more encouragement

[@nairamize4996]

Could not have said it better. Exactly how it is.

[@intellectualchicken7303]

This is the most relatable comment to how I and many others act. Couldnt have said it better.

[@Alexa-rd4vc]

and when the guy literally says "I dont know what you want so ...you need to make the first move?" is that shy, disinterested or douche?

[@Alexa-rd4vc]

@9/8c Thanks! Ive met someone new, and I think hes really sweet. but I don't know if he is interested. He seems shy/ not forward. but I mean Ill literally put it out there that I want to hang out and he doesnt bite the bait. Like tonight he said hes working late. and I said "dont worry You are not alone cos I have to work tonight too". He replied saying "it would have been excellent if we could work together :(".. I replied saying Ahhh yeah.. well we can def do that another day, im keen to :)".. his response: "cold tonight? I just warmed up some food for dinner that my mum made". Lol what now!! It seems like he just avoided me saying id be interested to spend a day studying with him because we are both really busy at the moment (him working, me studying) so now what? lol. I dont want to push. I already suggested we meet last weekend and we did. But I don't want to make the plans again.

[@Alexa-rd4vc]

@9/8c so yeah I totally get where you are coming from.. possibly super hurt and cant trust any more? Sorry I just blabbed on about my own issue here. but I hope you can also give yourself voice and reassuarnce to put yourself out there with a girl sometime. I promise, there are so many girls who may just pass you by if you dont manage to just step out a bit. And there will be a lot of girls who will be sad about it because you say you are nice

[@TheFairKnight]

Depending on the guy you might need to be a little more than just subtle, some of us are borderline autistic when it comes to girls. Back in high-school there was a girl who literally stole my phone from my backpack, put her number in it, and gave it back to me, and I was STILL left wondering "but what does she want??" lol

[@alexanderengstrom1690]

Ancap2112 Hahaha

[@Drugs-Addict]

Than lets chill together bro

[@farimasultani6138]

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

[@kikithewitch8423]

Ancap2112 can you please explain what subtle mean

[@aloveaffairwithself]

😂😂😂😂

[@yaraaa9]

I don’t know if this could help anyone, but for eight months, this guy, who takes the same bus as me in the morning, and i would look at each other everyday and on the last day of school i actually got out at the same stop as him and actually approached him. Now I’m a super shy and introverted person but i grew the balls and talked to him. The next day he texts me saying he got my number from a friend of a friend and he asked me out. Turns out he’s extremely shy and has never dated/gone out with anyone before and he kept praising me for coming up to him. So screw fear and just push yourself to make the first move. Guys really do appreciate it (especially the shy ones).

[@tristaw2965]

What did you say to him??

[@user-eo9to7wd2t]

Are you guts together?

[@teresamcmurrin8672]

I got my shy guy (married this past May!)...We lived in the same building. I just kept giving him my biggest smile everytime I saw him, and tried to put together a coherent sentence (since I am also painfully shy!). He told me later that my smiles punched holes right through his shields...It took awhile, but he finally got up the nerve to start really talking to me! :) (He'd overheard me talking about music and thought, "Aha! A topic!") I think one of the major turning points in our growing friendship was when I pointed out some things I really admired about him. We finally confessed our feelings in two all-night text marathons!

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Something you hit on there, he spotted an opening that you set up. Even if you didn't set it up knowingly. Expressing interest in things is a great way to get people to express mutual interest as well as interest in you.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

As a guy who used to be painfully shy, I can also say that touch is a good ice breaker. Touch him on the arm or just brush past him, but make that connection (if you're not too shy yourself that is).

[@bunille]

Eh, nowadays it's "sexual harassment" to do that. I'd have the confidence to do so otherwise.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

@@bunille probably don't do it in the office

[@bunille]

@@RealityCheck6T9 Do guys mind being touched? And where would you think is too forward, because I don't want it to be like that? Say for example, do you think holding their shoulder is okay but not hugging them unless you're close?

[@martaper2714]

Hi Matt, I'm married but your advice for "singles" has worked for me in my marriage. I think what makes your work so great is that you are teaching women how to teach men to be more considerate with women. But the best part is you teach respect standards both ways starting by respecting ourselves. You are a phenomenal "respect teacher".

[@blackgirldiary2363]

The shy ones are hard to get.....#Whatamission

[@nofybn7794]

You don't want the confident ones, those are hard to get as well, those guys suck!

[@kjy05]

BlackGirl Diary Believe me, us shy guys can be a little uncomfortable and nervous, but we never have any bad intentions. I'd much rather date a shy girl than a confident one.

[@CharleyGBrown]

I’m a confident introvert, and am seen as the shy guy. No confidence is never good. My last girlfriend had zero confidence in herself and being with someone like that made me realize how many problems can emerge from a lack of confidence.

[@zairaadoresjin9470]

Girl you dont say I'm a little exhausted oof

[@Lord0606]

K same

[@agirlnamedchuck]

I ALWAY seem to be attracted to the shy guys! I don't know why though because their awkwardness always rubs off on me and then I shy up too. I hate it!! I don't know how to change this.

[@Gryttis17]

Same here! Tried once making it with an "outgoing" guy, didn't feel right, probably because we got nothing in common.. But speaking of that! Finding common interests is the way to go, and if you're really good and find out what he's passionate about, he'll start opening up to you! You have to be patient with shy guys. Let me know if you want to discuss any further on this hopelessness! xx

[@moroccanluv8810]

agirlnamedChuck lol Me too !! And I’m normally not shy around general people lol

[@malikahe5003]

Omggg same! 🙈

[@DionyBiguz]

@@Gryttis17 Where are you 2 from?

[@kpopzone5104]

Me too but i love it

[@bananaisyuk23]

This is literally the perfect video for me right now..

[@kparm23]

Good luck with your guy! ;)

[@TheCharzarr]

ahhh me tooo!

[@trybringingberry]

10 years later, I'm thinking the same.

[@Tracey..H]

What if your both shy. Oh thats fun... Well be 80 before we date

[@captainswan3079]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 facts

[@joelembitch1274]

Well your fucked

[@chriscamaso5198]

That little line is literally the cutest thing I've ever heard 🙈

[@MsWannabeGamer]

Thank you so much. I have been waiting for years for this. I frequently find myself attracted to shy guys and have no idea what to do when he doesn't reciprocate.

[@blackgirldiary2363]

They are a mission aren't they? The patience we need to have with these guys is just on some other tip lol

[@goddess026]

me too!

[@NewscasterNews4]

+Ofentse Khoza that's exactly how I feel about shy girls lmao, plus I'm a shy guy myself

[@blackgirldiary2363]

NewscasterNews4 My million-years wait for my soulmate is clearly over! We are meant to be! Pop me an email sometime lmao!!!

[@pointingouttheobvious8130]

@@blackgirldiary2363 girl i like you 🤣😹

[@KaijiSan4]

coming from a shy guy's perspective just be direct with us. No, we do not pick up on your subtle cues of affection like hair twirling. So if you like us tell us, otherwise we've got our own business to take care of.

[@nofybn7794]

Well we are shy as well! It's much harder for us! It is your job!

[@KaijiSan4]

​@@nofybn7794 How cute. It's harder for you? You think men don't have the same anxieties, fears, and doubts? Also way to go taking away your agency and lumping that responsibility unto men saying it's our job. Rethink that, because women, not men decide upon the occurrence of a relationship. Women, not men have the children. You only say it's our job because you can't deal with being held accountable for your own actions. At least be honest about it. If you're going to sit on your hands then fine, but don't throw the responsibility all on men just because you feel entitled to do nothing and be rewarded for it.

[@Douglas-nt7jd]

That was a harsh response haha, but you're not wrong

[@DjulianSchmidt]

@@KaijiSan4 chill mate, being bitter won't accomplish anything. Now, talking about shyness, it sure does take a lot of the anxiousness away if girls just go direct to the point. Most shy guys really don't get any of the hints/clues you girls give us. Just be direct and honest, if he likes you, he will surely apreciate it.

[@gegensw4500]

@@nofybn7794 harder? hahaha nice delusions and stupidity! my job? sorry but i'm not your fucking dog. and who the hell are you to say such things jesus...

[@Devotchka161]

There's a difference between shyness and strong insecurities that affect relationships much more so. A shy guy will hear you if you say that you're interested, then he'll open up and so on and so on (my ex was shy) but insecurities are blinding, they prevent one from believing the other no matter how true it may be. Too much insecurity also can lead to toxic and manipulative tactics, which should scare off any woman.

[@jaraisferguson6765]

Lol who eats ice cream during a movie. real question.

[@marishkaspirit]

me...only if i'm watching the movie home

[@marellano8486]

marishkaspirit wtf. how specific. 😂

[@miojannuar9386]

well, you can ask popcorn or chips?

[@mc-ob7vp]

well...i was forced to do so by some of my friends lol

[@ujustgitshrecktscrubbetter1240]

You've never had one those mini tubs with the rock hard icecream and the dodgy wooden spoon that looks more like a knife?

[@DoGmAnGuY1758]

I like how at least SOME people don't just have the "if he doesn't approach he isn't interested" bullshit attitude. As a shyer guy, it just feels super invalidating, it's like so all the crushes and feelings I had over the years for different girls was all a sham just because I'm innately shy and that stopped me from approaching them? At least someone is able to be nuanced and say that isn't necessarily the case.

[@AT-ue3rm]

"if he wanted to he would" is always funny to read as a shy woman myself. like if I wouldn't even though I like him, why would he???

[@Peg-rl3gm]

@@AT-ue3rmI know right? I’m in the same situation. I asked him out eventually, and he said that’s one of the most exciting, fantasy-like experience 😂

[@rodgerthat3604]

My crush never initiates conversations with me. He talks to everyone else but me. We talk but only briefly. He seems nice though. It's like he's friendly but at a distance with me and not like he does everyone else.

[@really_hue_man]

Samantha Campbell he likes you, he's too nervous about looking Stupid in front of you, duh.

[@rodgerthat3604]

AlvynTV yeah turned out he didn't like me. He didnt want to hurt my feelings by telling me but he did eventually tell me. We good friends though.

[@MWtheMonke]

It's happened to me so many times. In my experience, if a guy avoids eye contact and won't talk to you, he's afraid he's gonna give you the wrong impression. He probably got a sense that you liked him.

[@ronswansons_mustache]

There it is

[@JadeyFadeyMCR]

I find being playful is really a good thing to do when you like a guy regardless of him being shy or not, or with the two of you being friends or in a relationship. My boyfriend is generally quiet, but definately not shy and being playful just creates fun moments and open conversations a little more. If anything I'm more the shy one than he is, but I've been through so much growth the past few years and that shy little shell has opened up sooo much. It's crazy and scary, but it's so good!

[@Bunnie333]

Absolutely!!!! This is my go to. We have a fun hangout...drinking together, or not...but I'm hyper and laughing and making him feel comfortable. Im goofy and charismatic, I make him laugh and smile. And I throw in some flirting, like biting my lip while looking at him, sitting on the counter pervocativly I guess(like I'm lay back so my back is arched, ir forward so I'm leaned into him a lil more, and I always give a kiss on the cheek when they show up. I say it's because I'm portuguese but in reality..I don't ever do that w anyone else!! But it's a good way to get close and flirty while still being Suttle. Trust me this will work. It always does.

[@samuelscoop4080]

After listening to this podcast I realised that a girl I know for a while probably was giving me signs she might be interested in me. She complimented me on my appearance, she asked if i'm ina relationshio, and when I was talking to another girl (in my friend group) she was basically staring her down. And still, somehow, i'm not confident enough to return a compliment or like, ask her if she likes me straight up. How the hell do I get over that!?

[@kaitlinmastrantuono574]

Thank you so much Matthew! I used your advice and gave this guy I like my phone number and it worked! It turns out he likes me too but didn’t know how to approach me. He said he was shy and has wanted to ask me for my number for months. He actually thanked me for giving it to him. He asked me to go out on a date and I said yes! So thank you Matthew for giving me the confidence to do that.

[@HYPNOYOUEllieBrown]

Mathew there's this great restaurant in my local shops the food is to die for We should go X

[@cloroxbleach1640]

no

[@ChikaChika2]

I love the idea of the invite followed by the playful question! Need to remember this for future conversations

[@flatmattress3203]

honestly i think i get it now!! i can get overbearing when i like a guy, and start complimenting or flirting where i dont know if its reciprocated or not. By giving them little challenges and playing with them, that's their way of ""earning"" your attention, which will then be better received (plus its a charming quality i doubt most people have). I may not be thinking this through 100% but i dont think im the first to think of this!

[@KimBlaQue]

Damn this video is for me....I'm deeply in like with a guy that is shy and in some ways hard to get

[@sayounara1232]

I like how you wrote deeply in like instead of love XD and I am on the same boat girl

[@TheAttractionTriggers]

*If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.*

[@Thespeaker184]

that moment he puts his hands over his heads... i feel my heart just want to explode

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

I am so glad that I came across this video. I’m overcoming my shyness, and I think that the fella that I am interested it may be a little shy too(or just not trying to scare me off 🤦‍♀️😆.). This gives me some motivation 🥳. Thanks 😎!

[@WithPeaceBe]

Mathhew Hussey If Attraction exists before someone even makes a move or asks for a date. It exists before a man asks a woman for a date and before a woman tells a guy yes. Otherwise the guy wouldn't have asked and the woman wouldn't have said yes. if attraction exists, for both genders, then it is fair to say both should have the free will to act upon it but most of have share EQUAL responsibility to act upon it as well. I don't understand why society doesn't also base who makes the first move based on who is, more introverted and who is more extroverted and outgoing. Why is it this a gender thing? The people who say it is, are confusing gender with ability. We should be focusing on equality when it comes to men and women reciprocating when it comes to getting a date, and relationships. Because there are plenty of heirarchtypes out there. Sure some men probably like the chase, but most of the men I've talked to don't like to, they would all be flattered and see that's it a woman worth his time because she knows what she wants. All in all, it's usually fairly easy to tell these guys apart. If a man is reserved or shy, or more introverted, then he is less likely to be approach a woman, or pursue. If a man is very comfortable in social settings, outgoing, relaxed, and confident, then this is something that is going to be more natural for him.

[@Metal6Sex6Pot6]

WithPeaceBe because that's not what women want, they want to be chased and be lazy.

[@sweetdreamstime2266]

I don't agree, making the pursuit is a masculine act, and I think we all know that no man wants a woman with masculine traits, further men, particularly alpha men end up resenting women with those traits.

[@bxcinderella]

hard to imagine Matthew being a shy guy.

[@Lord0606]

And don’t bother trying to reply to make me feel better or worse, my self esteem is below 0. Black pilled 1 million %.

[@MsSomeonenew]

Just ask them on a date, it's not like they have anything else going on... Which might sound mean but it's just the nature of social interactions, shy people get left out.

[@dianel1765]

I have been using Matthew's advice with a new interest and it works!! I am confident but needed the competence and that's what I am learning from him. Reading his book now.

[@jg2467]

Girls actually WANT to date shy guys even after they find out they are shy? That's new to me.

[@Mswrysmile]

Harry Bush , We do! Shy guys are attractive.

[@a.k.1217]

why not?!

[@wongzq]

Why exactly are shy guys attractive?

[@MJ-ix1nh]

Yes we like shy guys...the only issue is they do not talk to us.

[@wongzq]

My question is why? What is it about shyness that makes shy guys attractive? I'm just a curious male species trying to decipher the cryptic minds of the beautiful counterpart that is the female species. :)

[@napatyefilut.shafashike7857]

9 years later & i'm looking for this advice, thankk youu!

[@normahernandez5180]

I like this shy guy everyday at school I talk to him for a month already mostly everyday. And in my head I'm like please ask me out already but he never asks me out should I move on or keep trying for this guy.

[@shosha1771]

I met a shy guy few weeks ago through some friends, and he never asks me out until his friends did that for him. They basically asked me out and set us together lol Maybe if you know his friends tell them

[@normahernandez5180]

Thanks I'll try that.

[@hipsterredneck]

why don't you ask him out?see problem solved.

[@normahernandez5180]

Update so I just asked him out he said yes.

[@normahernandez5180]

+greynox Yeah me and him are still together.

[@thenarrator1921]

There's only one line girls need to say: "I like you." there's really no harm in saying it.

[@kiruka9899]

well there is harm for us if we get rejected 😭

[@askurgirlaboutmee]

You do realize rejection exists right? You’re not the only one who’s scared

[@captainswan3079]

@@kiruka9899 This 🥺

[@MWtheMonke]

What are you gonna say if you don't like her?

[@thenarrator1921]

@@kiruka9899 that's equality for you. This is what men have to go through for almost every shot they take, and there are some of us who realize that rejection should be taken to the grave. The greater harm is in inaction; of not coming to terms with your situation and yet not doing anything about it.

[@Ciraze]

For all the guys here wondering "Why the hell are girls attracted to shy guys, isn't that the complete opposite of what we are lead to believe" Actually it isn't, girls are not so much attracted to the shyness but instead the mystery factor behind said shy guy. A mysterious guy is an attractive guy and I think that illusion trumps the fact that they are shy, and most shy guys aren't really "Shy" they are just not good at conversating with women but are fine talking to other guys. I used to be like this and looking back at it now, it used to baffle me as to why all these girls in my high school were trying to chat me up (The shy guy who doesn't talk to girls).

[@savage5466]

I'm a guy around girls I like I'm super shy. So I literally will not show any signs of feeling towards them :/ but a really confident girl once asked me to go hangout and after that I've became way more confident

[@Jejking]

You got lucky. Be happy it happened. Otherwise -> doldrums.

[@petermuller599]

Just ask him directly

[@koalabar9275]

Matt...please make a video about if beeing vegan is a turn off. I don´t talk about the extreme vegan hippie or someone who forces their opinion on others but about an ordinary girl who just doesn´t want to eat animal products without beeing annoying.

[@justincase1919]

Koala Bär It can be a turn off, but only if you have the looking down your nose : im a better person than you " attitude . Otherwise, eat what you want. In fact , there's no reason to mention your veganism. If offered animal product, just politely decline and have whatever you want. " No thanks " instead of " No thanks I'm vegan. " Even if you say " no thanks im vegan " , as long as an attitude doesnt come along with it, most guys wont care. ( at least thats my thought on the matter )

[@stevenadams250]

Not a turn off

[@grumpy_cat1337]

It might be a turn off, many people are prejudiced to vegans these days, because vegans earned themselves a certain kind of reputation, thank vegan zealots for that. So you have to be very careful about how and when to bring that up.

[@marianormann9599]

I'm sort of in this situation right now... I really like this guy, but he is not the type of guy who will come up and talk to strangers. He only talks to the people that approach HIM. Now I have never really had a conversation with him, but there's just something that draws me to him. I have no idea how to talk to him, because every time i sort of tried, i come off as super negative and boring. What do i do...

[@agirlnamedchuck]

I'm in the same boat.

[@marianormann9599]

ilooklikebarbie88 it sucks :(

[@Gryttis17]

Find common ground! Before approaching him, have a few subjects/ideas on what to say to him, but not plan the conversation because you'll be thrown off when he doesn't follow "the script." Finding common ground is the key here, and also throw in some subtle hints and compliments that won't sound to forwad too! I've been in this situation a fair amount of times! Hopefully I've come out of this with a little more knowledge, but in all honestly I have no clue on what I'm actually doing... x) Hope this helped you a tiny bit love! x

[@alexishussey6776]

finally I found someone else with my last name hahaha

[@craigjw87]

In Australia a Hussey is slang for a slut lol

[@uglygang9118]

Jarrad Weston we say that here in Moscow Russia😂

[@Shrek_Fan]

It’s not hard for me lmao

[@JoseRivera-be3bo]

Y'all probably related lol

[@marlenebragelman7251]

I actually told him that I like him. My legs were shaking though. And I really got his attention.

[@amilyondianne317]

Are you guys still talking ? Update sis

[@tristaw2965]

@@amilyondianne317 right

[@sarablackwolfdancer9359]

A few months ago, I made the first move with someone I thought was shy. Maybe he is, maybe he's not. I literally told him I'd like to have a real conversation with him one day, which he seemed receptive to, then the next time I saw him, I gave him my phone number "just in case". He never called me, then he started giving me some conflicted body language, and since I realized I'd made him really uncomfortable, I backed waaaay off. I was still friendly, still am, but I don't put any effort into getting closer because essentially he'd told me he wasn't interested by his behavior. Lately he seems to be wanting to talk to me, but he never does. I'm not the subtle type. I will either tell you what i want or keep my thoughts to myself if I think it is pointless to talk about it. He's a Midwest guy, not used to direct, and I'm very direct. I figure I was too forward, and he found that threatening. *shrug* THIS is why I wait for them to approach.

[@liltunturi1251]

If you are going to ask him out on a date, its gonna get the guy more confident in himself. Also its cool if you go on a date, where he can chill and feel comfortable. If he is introverted and shy, then its better to go do some activity, where you are gonna be alone, at least for the first dates. He will probably open himself up to you more this way. Its not a good idea to go on a date to a festival or a ball or even amusement park. You can for example go for a walk or chill in a café. If you are worried that he might be boring, just let him be in an environment where he is not constantly anxious about other people seeing him "game" and judging him. He just doesnt want to come off as creepy or needy. If he is not distracted by other people/loud music then he can let go and focus on you :)

[@Christian_Girl120]

I know a guy at my church who is shy. I talked with a mutual friend and she told me he was shy. This guy and I are lectors at our church and have become closer. I've given him some clues but haven't heard anything from him. We are both in our early 50's and never been married. He did give me a bear hug kissing me on my jawline. Hard to tell.

[@fudgeanater]

Im shy, and due to past bad experiences, that the more it seems like it's a 50/50 of being just nice to me, versus showing interest, Ill always assume the nice part. just be direct and blunt, and not beating around the bush with us. "I like you, would you like to go see a movie with me?" That is just the best approach. Just like a lot of women (that I know at least) want guys to be upfront and direct (not all, but a lot of my female friends say that's what they like, so only using that as a basis)

[@morningstar7019]

I’m a simple person a shy guy im really subby I’m not utterly outgoing whatsoever I just wanna feel someone’s warmth I’m very open and honest I’m just kinda wanting cuddles it’s always the distance that gets in the way since I live in Cali and most people are outta state and a lot of girls my age I’m eighteen they’re not understanding or sweet about me being as shy as I am I love compliments that honestly makes me super duper flustered I’m not good in conversation I get so awkward when one on one I get overwhelmed in crowds I don’t go out a lot cause of my shyness and my anxiety of abandonment which I’ve gone through time and time again so please if you end up deciding on being me be patient I can be a little playful pup it’s really challenging for me honestly I can’t express my shyness in many circumstances cause I get laughed at a lot by friends and family as well I’m not use to being told sweet things like I’m cute or adorable a whole lot well at least I don’t hear people say it My point is shy guys like me exists we’re real grasping for my hand when I’m either not talking or whatever is the easiest way to get me to squirm or make cute noises shy people make

[@drewmyself893]

As a guy that'd be described as shy, the advice Matthew gives seems to come from someone who while has insecurities (like everyone does), is not from the view of an actual shy guy or introvert. We want you to be blunt and direct with us, at least to get our attention. Flirting with a truly shy guy is a terrible idea (at least until he gets comfortable with you). One, we won't pick up that's what you're doing. And two; if we do, we'll probably be suspicious what you're doing isn't genuine and you're flirting with us in an attempt to manipulate us. I'm not kidding, I thought I was alone in this thinking (which I have been breaking this habit slowly I'm glad to say) but shy guys are a instinctually defensive and that can lead us to be a bit paranoid if we like you and want to let our guard down but are concerned you're just playing us. And if we feel you're not being upfront with us, that's a red flag. Now the shy guy not asking you out (to oversimplify) is because socializing in general is already hard enough for an introvert. So even if we're totally into you, if we aren't convinced you're interested in us, we won't make the move cause that's a lot of extra effort on our end (whether you think it is or not). And like I said those hints you're dropping and thinking you're making it clear you're into us, are all going over our head. So we absolutely need more than a nudge, we need like a blatant declaration of your interest in us, or hell even just ask us out and don't wait for us to. I got friends who aren't shy at all and they find a girl being able to ask a guy out extremely attractive. But what shy guys need is you to be direct and blunt. And then if you think: "well that's not the kind of guy I want" then leave us alone cause I guarantee you won't have to worry about us approaching you.

[@karolinen525]

As a shy guy I can say that this comment right here is the truth

[@missmashami]

I think what makes it hard is understanding if the shy guy likes me back , its very confusing , you said flirting would scare a shy guy but then you said If you could ask the shy guy out immediately because they prefer being blunt about it because they aren't sure if you're interested and wouldn't take a shot until they're 100% sure , how can I ask a shy guy out If I'm not sure how he feels ?? And how can I understand what HE wants if he doesn't flirt or tries to be present ?

[@katherineknight5423]

The best relationship advice on KZbin hands down. Mahalo from Hawaii

[@ianbirchfield5124]

i always thought girls hated shy guys. why did i spend all this time trying to get rid of my shyness? years of academy training wasted!

[@Man_Solo3.14]

I'm... not someone a woman would date, less of a shy man than the ghost of a man who died of an incurable disease, only to look down and see humanity has finally cured it. No hate. Rather glad others won't fall to it! Glad actually that this generation of women don't just banish all shy dudes. Guess I was born too soon! Good luck to you younger shy guys! Be thankful you have KZbin! 😂😅😊

[@kmishra1546]

You reminded me of someone really sweet! Londoner he is! And what a fantastic piece of advice! "We should go!"

[@erickvargasguzman5898]

Hi am a shy Guy a tip just be super dominant about stuff u want some guys even if u flirt alot u need to really go straight for hanging out more do stuff together do the talking. Even if they know u like them they still might be afraid to go foreword becus they dont know what to do.

[@changl72]

Fuck my life. I was way too forward. I bluntly told a guy 'I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU.' FUUUUUCK! He said he didn't feel the same way about me.

[@naomia1862]

+Gookle ForcedmeTomakeaname Hey, it's OK! I've done that before too. I had a huge crush on this guy & after going back and forth (you know, eye contact/staring at each other), I decided to go in for the kill. I messaged him on Facebook and said, "I have a crush on you. blah, blah, blah...I think you're really cute." Well, I ended up getting rejected. He avoided me after that. So yeah, don't feel bad. At least you were brave to say how you felt & lesson learned.

[@normahernandez5180]

At least you were brave enough to tell him that you liked him oh well if he didn't like you then that's his loss.

[@FutureFendiFsnista]

+Gookle ForcedmeTomakeaname I did the exact same thing +Naomi A and was rejected too. Don't sweat it! It happens. Now you know what to do for next time 😊

[@beaustisings101b5]

Shy guys will lie to get you off their trail. So ignore him and he will come around.

[@Benjaalor]

I did it twice and failed miserably too.

[@indigobeauty1]

Shy guys are Amazing! Also, i would suggest working out, does wonderful things for your confidence.

[@MandyJRoss]

Oh my goodness, you are a dating genius Matthew Hussey. Brilliant. Gratitude and God Bless.👌🏼🤓

[@Vincisomething]

What if you're talking to a guy who is generally self or socially confident, but when it comes to a person they like, they just put on this poker face and pretend they don't like you like that? Because I am like this, mostly (as a female). I can talk to a person I like (years ago, I couldn't) and I can even look them straight in the eyes. However, I'm not flirtatious at all (I find it unnatural for me), which may make it confusing. It'll be like if I was talking to a classmate or a friend. I don't even like small talk that much. If we're going to talk, I'd rather have it be intellectually stimulating- we don't have to talk about quantum physics or anything like that, but a conversation where we bounce off of each other verbally for a while. It can be about our favorite songs or something like that. Not to mention, I'm oblivious to people flirting or showing subtle signs. I'll just think you're nice.

[@JuuC]

Oh my God, I'm like that! I have been wondering the same! If it makes you feel better, you're not the only one in this situation.

[@Vincisomething]

July Alvarez And to make it even better, when my crush is less than two feet away from me, I pretend I don't notice them.

[@JuuC]

Vincisomething so true!! Or when my crush is near me I just keep looking forward, pretend I didn't see him or I walk by looking at the ground, I believe he thinks that I don't like him. And as you said I can't understand subtle hints of interest I can't just catch them and being flirty and flirt doesn't feel natural, it feels super awkward!!

[@Vincisomething]

July Alvarez I just have this thought that I'll look like a weirdo creepo if I start paying attention to him or looking at him when he's really close. Even worse, if we're in a group, I'll talk to other people in that group and avoid looking at him (unless he's talking because that's what you do when people talk, right? And then I look away when he looks back). He probably thinks I have no interest in him :P. And flirting is really awkward for me! I just feel fake doing it, so I just stick to conversations.

[@ayasayed1906]

Same here :( .. I don't know why I keep doing this .. I really want him how much I love him but I can't .. this is so stupid

[@reerzrobz8178]

please do one about the over-confident guy :) !

[@DarkClarity]

I’m quite a shy guy and the only times I’ve gathered enough courage to ask a girl out I was rejected. I asked 2 girls out in total. One was 5 years ago. the second was this year as I graduated from high school. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it again again without getting a ridiculously obvious hint.

[@hasandihimansa1449]

So are u okay if a girl ask out from u and what will you do? And as a shy guy do you'll need sometime to be comfort with her. And whats that period would be like you want a month or week or year or is it depends on the girl. And u guys give soo much mix signals while chatting. Why is that?. And after all I asked such questions becuz I had a crush on shy guy and I always wanted to know his name so I found his friend and asked what's his name. But it ended up exchanging moblie no.s of me n my crush. earlier I had a thought of not making the 1st move but his friend said to me that he is shy. So I started the convo. And he replied. I know he also has feelings for me. But when chatting with him I get mixed feelings that if he does or doesn't like me. It's just 3 days of chatting. But still I had to start the convo every day. So is this a disinterested towards me or what ???

[@Medietos]

Shy humans have to prepare by working on their relationship with themselves, self-knowledge, self-worth, self-esteem,- self-love, and assess what one's assets and flaws are, so as to be prepared for questions during first dates and having grounded oneself before, prayed, taken care of all one's basic needs(healthy food, water, walk in daylight, meaningfulness, sleep).Being clear(er) abouit oneself before a date will make one more stable, relaxed, secure, present, at ease, attractive, open-minded and genuine.

[@Sleepgarden]

as a shy guy myself, it reminds me of a line from Seven with dealing with girls: "nowadays you can't just tap people on the shoulder, you gotta hit em with a sledgehammer". I'm guessing some shy guys might feel they're inadequate on the looks or personality department compared to Mr Charismatic with the chiseled looks so when a girl shows interest (and is blunt about it) we'll take notice. Otherwise we'll think "why me and not mr brown haired track star over there?" Which is also why I never had an issue with dating women from different races. Instead of "I'm sorry, no latinas" or whatever, I'm like "wait a girl likes me? oh shit, hi how are you". So to women: be super upfront, none of that body language subtle cue stuff.

[@peffbee88]

gosh you are handsome! you could make a video how to get you ;)

[@yokonono2171]

Manoffriendship seriously??

[@yokonono2171]

Manoffriendship omg no i just searched his height up. He’s 5’ 8” and that makes sense because he looks like he’s 5’8 to 5’11 on his videos

[@anhangamirim]

Mr Hussey, spreading love to the world!

[@ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack]

I'm a quiet guy and I have to disagree with the idea of teasing most men. I think most men want to feel valued and respected more than they want to be teased, especially by people they don't know. This is because men seem to gauge their self-worth more through their present actions and how beneficial they are to the people that particular man respects or potentially could, and when those people insult or dismiss those actions it does damage to the average male's self worth; so teasing can come across wrong to strange men. In humanity's evolutionary past, which is older than civilization, respect between males had life or death consequences. Voluntary respect is like a currency in the world of men, and it ties into the perception of value they have of their own actions and life. The more disrespected a man feels the more he usually goes into some kind of defensive mode, fighting or withdrawing. The genders have different general brain structures and they tend to project these on one another. The reason there are so many "nice guys" is because of their intense desire for respect. They are projecting the male brain structure onto women without knowing she has a different general brain structure, and they are giving tons of niceness and respect to women, because that same perpetual niceness and respect is what they desire from women.

[@river4267]

I mean, even then, it sounds like she's asking him out as a friend. She could just be more direct and say, "It's a date" after he accepts. I think something girls should be aware about around shy guys is that they aren't (for the most part) blind but too afraid to act on something that may or may not be there. Especially with all the guys nowadays getting friend-zoned because a lot of girls don't seem to mind putting guys in that situation, it's hard to make a move.

[@heidi4442]

after all the videos I've watched on dating this video was exactly what i needed.

[@rosegarcia2371]

Matthew SHY? Seriously? Then he has changed a lot. 😍😍😍😍

[@invisiblescout]

I swear you literally have to scream it at me, there is just no other way. I had a crush on a girl in highschool, it was the end of year celebration and we had an inflatable obstacle course. I'm sitting alone because what else would I do? And my crush comes up to me and asks me to race her on the course *_and i said no_* I wish I could just die thinking about it. Biggest regret.

[@Lord0606]

No, trust me you would be disappointed

[@Yourerightimwong]

This video was so insightful! Thanks Matt

[@CalicoCat1973]

whats the difference between a shy guy who is interested and a shy guy who is not interested in dating a girl?

[@maktus]

I don't really think there is one you can notice, at the very least if they behave like me. I myself am a shy guy, and I try to act especially normal when I'm around the girl I like, because I'm scared of someone else or her noticing that and starting to tease me for it. I know there isn't any logic in that, but that's how my brain works. So essentially I make it seem like I'm not interested in her or maybe even that I dislike her. Hope this example helped!

[@haleylee9334]

My Boyfriend and I just recently got together about 2 weeks ago. We've been friends for over 7 years now and grew up with each other, so we both know each other pretty well. The thing is though is that he never initiates anything, I never get a text saying "Hey" or even "Hi". The one time I got a "Good night" text was when I said that I liked him and we got together. Whenever I suggest us hanging out he gets all uncomfortable and kinda avoids the subject. I believe he likes me but I'm starting to think he likes the idea of having me rather than actually being with me.

[@aml8760]

Hence why you stop doing all the work...

[@voynich7119]

I'm really bad at reading subtle signs other people make. So when I am interested in someone I usually just try to make my flirting veeery obvious so that they get that I'm into them and hopefully flirt back.

[@MEaninac]

I love shy guys !!!!

[@bbutterfly36]

omg the popcorn/icecream line really is genius!!!! LOVE THIS

[@timflatus]

Not sure I agree with all of this. Absolutely yes, come and meet us half-way. Complement us, suggest things to do together. A genuinely shy guy is just going to be relieved that it's not all up to him. Not everyone wants to be called "cute", that might be a cultural thing. The popcorn or icecream thing would put me off, again, we're all different

[@Rakhilya]

What is the universally accepted unequivocal sign of showing that you as a girl are interested in a guy without feeling like you are throwing yourself at him?

[@MsSomeonenew]

Ask them on a date.

[@really_hue_man]

You tell him. With words. As long as your body is not flying through the air, then you are not throwing your self at him.

[@fucklife6881]

AlvynTV Hahaha exactly

[@Un1234l]

Anything less than asking him on a date leads him to believe you're just being nice and that's how you act with everybody, especially if you're a more flirtatious handsy girl with everybody else: he has no reason to believe that your flirting with him is any different.

[@theclassicstare5713]

@@really_hue_man 😂 Great advice.

[@logic888]

imma try this omg. i feel like matt is a genius

[@u-found-me-from-an-asmr-pl7589]

17 yr old me... "Write that down... Write that down"

[@abeille1217]

ice cream at the movies? i mean... i've seen it, but who does that? lol

[@ohdeniseluciani]

I could hear you speak for days

[@NinjaLmissO]

I still don't get how you Matthew are single still , like talk about a man who knows himself & is beyond cute

[@shaalis]

Well there is a thing where the ones who counsel are often the ones who needed the help in the first place. That can often happen. Lots of psychotherapists see other therapists for their own problem. It's also very easy to feel like you are doing ok when you help others.

[@melanieross3211]

What if you have had a few dates. You have kissed him twice. He gets shy each time and pulls away. But when you mention it, he says he hasn't dated for awhile and not to stop trying.

[@rochellechapman9940]

Sheesh that advice was bold BOLD but slick at the same time 😭😭

[@lunanightfall08]

weird timing, I need this!

[@evhsguitar]

hes so cute and sweet and shyy i literally just brought up my intentions w him today after a long few weeks of cluelessly flirting with him. he got really flustered and embarrassed so now i feel badly :,)

[@estelao.b.1473]

I needed this info. Thanks a lot Mathew!

[@lovemecom3832]

This ideal video was so helpful and useful to a woman who was attracted to shy type man.

[@ronnaloulosacker5075]

yes it is...I got a shy type man too...

[@danielapolo7346]

oh shy guys don’t ask you out? 😮 I was waiting the whole time because I‘m too scared to come off as masculine as we women want to be approached

[@NJSportsGirl2]

I AM IN THE SAME SCENARIO AS THIS GIRL

[@Manueljlin]

Try being friends with him and try to get deeper slowly

[@electrocute1263]

Thank you for giving out such great advice! How do you come up with these ideas? I would imagine women have used these on you and made you smile. I've always wanted to be more of a flirt with guys but never really knew what to say. Love the idea of telling a man, "I've missed you, there's been no cute guys around." Your videos are so good, I can't help but comment after watching them.

[@mike-su1is]

This guy knows what he's saying

[@sunnynguyen8877]

I have missed u, there havent been no cute guy around. lol

[@lizzieb9382]

😂😂

[@shjd3536]

Great answer...even I myself a shy guy ....it is easy to talk wid other girls when it's related to some work/office... but when it comes to approaching a gal for this purpose ..the ship sunks....😅😅 Btw we almost missed the sound at 1:35....

[@traceydallas5839]

I enjoy your videos and advice...You are absolutely ADORABLE! I believe you are helping alot of people here...Keep up the Great Work... Are you too shy to APPRECIATE a woman older than you!

[@dren8346]

how to get a shy guy? just ask him honestly

[@beckywarren997]

DreN I like shy guys because some are honest,cute,trustworthy and very funny and sweet.

[@valerietesfaye7901]

Omg I needed that cz I like that shy guy 😂😂❤️ will see now thanks matt❤️

[@a.m.thomas9366]

If a guy is painfully shy and you give him your number, can he be too shy to call when it has been 3 months ?

[@aml8760]

I'd move on sister...

[@BoricuaSincero]

How would I do with a girl that likes me but is anxious when we are supposed to go out on a date but cancels last second. She said she likes me and is attracted to me but is also a "anti-social, sarcastic scientist) anything helps and thanks! =)

[@anamaria-ek7bm]

Hmm intresting one my friend. You should ask her out again and just say you just want to talk with her and she shouldn't be nervouse about it.