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Are you having difficulty handling your alcoholic spouse? Watch Paul gives you helpful advice on how you can handle this kind of problem in your marriage.
I can't tell you exactly how to handle your spouse. You shouldn't be manipulative anyway but I can't tell you, I can remind you that you married your spouse with the intention of fulfilling your desire for unconditional love and to gain happiness. It is very difficult to have a happy marriage
when your spouse is an alcoholic and there are different kinds of alcoholics. Hopefully, you've already looked into Al-Anon and you've done some research about alcoholism and you understand it better than you did before. But remember what your vows were in sickness and in health, and alcoholism is a disease and it's really -- it's not your fault. It's not your problem that your spouse is an alcoholic but I can tell you that anyone who is feeling love is not looking to escape.
And so, it's very possible for you not to cure them but to give them something that they need
that they are not in touch with and that is love and there are many ways that you can do that.
One of the big biggest problems that couples were one is an alcoholic is that the non-alcoholic
has this attitude of victim/superior and that's got to go. You have to see your spouse past who they are in this incarnation if you will. Recognize that they are a soul and that they are now burdened for whatever reason would ever trip them up know that that could have happened to
you too or something just as bad or worse.
Compassion is a very important attribute for you to develop. Anytime you're feeling critical replace that thought. Anytime you're feeling where you want to condemn them for the path that they chose and they did they have free will. They didn't just fall into a hole but they chose it out
of weakness, Get rid of the condemnation. Get rid of those thoughts of judgment and love your spouse. You're not the one who's going to fix them. You cannot. There's nothing you can do. If they're a danger to your family then you have to take practical steps and in stages or all at once remove them from the family so that they don't create too much destruction but you still love them.
Outer circumstances are not what causes us to love somebody. It's an inner decision -- it's a free will decision that is a very noble decision. And if that decision is tested as yours is, you rise to that challenge so a lot of people mix things up. They go but he or she treats me this way and does this and does that and, how could I love them? Well, you have to separate the material from the spiritual. Love is a very spiritual thing and you still have to operate in a practical way as well. I hope this was useful for you.
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