How To Handle Criticism and Negativity

[@annette8867]

I've been a customer service rep for 10 + years that struggles badly with handling destructive critism. I needed this advice, thank you very much.

[@Phyrra]

I'm so glad you found it helpful! I set up and ran a Customer Service/Player Support/Billing department for a video game studio for 5 years and it burnt me out horribly on phone calls. I couldn't stand to talk on the phone at all after doing that. As the director of that dept, I took all the escalated calls that no one else could handle. I got to deal with the screaming parents who swore their angel couldn't have stolen their credit card. lol. You definitely have to classify it as destructive and it is NOT on you.

[@nicolemoscatelli7571]

My mother was narcissistic and had my share of gaslighting. I really appreciate the idea of a praise journal.

[@Phyrra]

Ug, I am so sorry to hear that. My bio mom is a narcissist and cutting her out of my life was one of the best things I ever did. Nothng was ever her fault, even the abuse she heaped on me and my brother. I'm glad you like the praise journal idea!

[@abbashussain6390]

😍

[@Phyrra]

😸

[@rebeccar.1173]

My number one rule on the Internet is ignore the trolls and don’t feed them. Some people got absolutely nothing better to do with their time, but leave unconstructive criticism for strangers on the Internet. They get off on it. I like your approach of deleting them and blocking them ,and if it’s somebody, you know in real life well with friends like that, you don’t need enemies, so get rid of them too if you can. Nobody needs narcissists or people in their life who constantly criticize them in a non-constructive manner. I totally agree with you.

[@Phyrra]

Yep, some people are miserable, sad individuals who get off on trying to hurt others because they have nothing else going on in their life. They need therapy.

[@aurakult]

Agree 💯 on the constructive vs destructive - I have not yet got it on my channel but I know it will happen sooner or later, so I hope I'm prepared! Side note - I love your look today - the green lip and bareish eye combo looks awesome! 💜🖤

[@Phyrra]

Thank you so much!

[@TessaLCastro1216]

My middle finger's been my go-to response for the last two years lol I'm really glad you're not wasting energy on assholes anymore. It's not worth it. These days if someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them. People are idiots. Just keep doing your thing, Cords. Happy Spring Equinox 🌸🦋🌙✨️

[@Phyrra]

Thank you! Happy Spring Equinox to you too! Even recently when people have left me disparaging remarks (for reviewing the L'Oreal foundation) I shrugged them off because those people only see the world in black and white and they refuse to do research into L'Oreal and all the work they've done to further alternatives to animal testing with episkin. They'd rather take the easy way and just blanket approach that all brands are good or evil. Sorry, but life isn't black or white. There's many shades of grey, and if people refuse to critically think, it will hold them back.

[@hispringtime]

Thanks for sharing 💜

[@Phyrra]

You're very welcome!

[@Xexuxa]

Personally I just consider the source. If the person running their mouth has no redeeming qualities to me, I just throw away whatever they say. If I know and trust the person, I'll take what they say into consideration.

[@theroyalbugness]

Oh my goodness, were you with me yesterday at work then? 😂 Because I DEFINITELY and blatantly ignored the advice given to me twice by my coworker who is a lazy limabean. I have the desire to be doing the total and complete opposite of whatever he is doing or suggesting 😳

[@Phyrra]

Yes, that's great! That's my 3rd point, I don't think most people consider the source.

[@Phyrra]

LOL that's a fun way to describe a coworker - lazy limabean.

[@MySwatchOrama]

What is sad my boss is the toxic one. It’s extremely draining, but the good pay keeps me there.

[@Phyrra]

I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with that. I've had toxic bosses in the past, and toxic workplaces. That's one of the reason that I am 100% remote now, less having to interface with toxic twats.

[@talon_craft4734]

My new job seems to have a supportive environment for learning. Our book club this quarter is about how to give and receive feedback. The book was short & sweet, yet full of useful information. I've already had a constructive criticism exchange with someone who was supervising me. I was confused by some feedback he'd given me, feeling I must have done something wrong but not quite knowing what. My husband pointed out I should have asked where I went wrong. After we had the project wrapped up, colleague and I debriefed. It turned out it was the first time he'd ever supervised someone, and he'd gone to two other coworkers about how to approach me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I gave my feedback that more specific feedback would have allayed my stress (new job, I wanted to do well) and what that feedback could have consisted of. All in all, the two of us learned a lot, and I think we both felt better for it!

[@Phyrra]

That sounds like a great environment to be in!

[@theroyalbugness]

I do my best to emulate the elegant and waddling duck: let it roll off my back and quack it off 🦆 Obviously, that's easier said than done, but it really does help me! I really do the quacks and all. I have a customer facing job and not to brag in any way, but I'm damn good. I train the new hires and transfers. I've been put in the book for commendations, probably 8 times in the 3 years I've been in my building. I know for a fact that no other cashier has had that many commendations, ever, at that building. Sometimes, I feel the paint peeling off of my soul when I've had a particularly bad stinkbug go through my garden of life, but I just internally quack it off.

[@Phyrra]

I love that! Being customer facing is so hard too, depending on the business. I set up and ran a Customer Service/Player Support/Billing department for a video game studio for 5 years and it burnt me out horribly on phone calls. I couldn't stand to talk on the phone at all after doing that. As the director of that dept, I took all the escalated calls that no one else could handle. I love the duck imagery, especially because we have ducks on our lake by our home. There's usually 1 or 2 ducks that laugh like Daffy Duck, which I didn't know real ducks did! Also recently, we had a crow who was quacking like a duck in the neighborhood. It made me smile.

[@middleofnowhere1313]

For some praise: My husband says you're lovely. :)

[@Phyrra]

Oh thank you!

[@TracyD2]

Say or write , “ I’m rubber, your glue, what ever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” 😂 Im dating myself but there is truth to it energetically. So forgive them for they no not what they do and are making their world worse but definitely don’t let them continue on with any abuse.

[@MakeupByAnnki]

Omg i love this so much!! 💜

[@Phyrra]

This is often why I just delete/block/mute. I don't have the time or energy to deal with petty little people.

[@MakeupByAnnki]

I thankfully dont get too many haters, but when i do i just laugh at them🤣 Ive spent most of my upbringing being bullied. It took me yeeeeears to teach myself, that its they who has the issues and not me. Its so freeing to not care about the internet trolls! And i love killing them with fake kindness. So i always say Awwe thank you so much🥰🥰 That makes them so confused most of the time. The last time i replied like that, the person who left their comment deleted it😜 Noone has ever said anything to me face to face tho. So im not actually sure how i would handle it then!

[@Phyrra]

The 'craziest' thing someone has said to me face to face was that I looked like a night elf. I'm cool with stuff like that. Fake kindness is the way to go.

[@MakeupByAnnki]

@@Phyrra How is that even an insult tho🤔🤭? I love looking like an elf😁

[@Phyrra]

I didn't take it as an insult! I thought it was awesome! I love looking like an elf. The guy was saying I looked like a night elf from World of Warcraft.

[@JackOllie4]

I still struggle to not engage with MAGA types, or just know-it-all types, in comment sections.😕 I've been wondering how you feel about living in Florida with the horrible regressive stuff going on there!

[@Phyrra]

It's pretty awful to be honest. My husband and I are openly part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community. When I moved here in 2004 it was a purple state. Now it's solidly red. I'm harassed and treated as a second class citizen because I'm a woman. It's even worse here if you are BIPOC. I love my home, I love my neighborhood, I love my family and friends, but I do not want to stay here.