How to Handle Life’s Gray Areas

[@ayoogunleye5507]

That little girl has every right to tell whoever she wants that she doesn’t have a dad. She’s trying to find out if it’s ‘normal’ or if it’s ‘ok’ like her mum is telling her it is when she doesn’t feel like it is. That’s why she’s ‘weaponising’ it and wanting to be comforted about it. She’s not ok with it, no matter how empowered you feel by purposely having a child alone.

[@nin7464]

The second caller sounds so proud of being a single mum by choice that she seams even a bit cruel (definitely a hard voice) about her daughter missing having a dad. Yeah, her daughter might want pity for not having a dad. Just because the caller is fine with it, doesn’t mean her daughter is.

[@desertcountryliving2357]

How in the heck are you considering the little girl stating the fact of "I DONT HAVE A FATHER" as a private thing that shouldnt be said!? Its the truth! She should be able to express and grieve that properly! She is gonna hate her mother in a few years when she can fully comprehend that her mother CHOOSE for her to grow up without a father "thinking its so cool" ... WTF so sad! 😢

[@kathedeangelis1295]

Totally agree with you 100%. Always the children that suffer for these so-called adults that make these kind of decisions… I feel so bad for this child… It just burns me up… Life is difficult as it is and then this mother being so selfish ads to what’s going on in society today… Shame on you

[@Dixie8642]

In middle age, I haven’t yet heard a sperm-donor story that wasn’t Parent’s Desires trumping Child’s Needs. 😞 I didn’t get to have children because I was determined it would only happen if I could offer a child a healthy, intact, loving two-parent home and finding a solid partner with the right timing doesn’t always happen. It’s heartbreaking, but the needs of the nonexistent human had to come first. There are many older children who may otherwise age out of the system solo who are available for adoption if someone is dying to parent.

[@daxdawg1]

I cant with the second caller. Heart breaking.

[@nicklowe_]

“I don’t want her to feel like she’s missing out on anything” 😂 as someone who lost their dad as a kid I’d say that lacks perspective lol

[@droptozro]

She's a bit delusional. The kid will be screwed up in some form from this decision by her and she wants to try to head it off before it grows. Good luck to her when the young girl learns to truly understand her dad has 23 other kids via sperm donation. I don't think the lady meant any harm--she just doesn't understand reality of being a kid and the thoughts they'll have about this make no sense.

[@allyourbaseman]

I feel so sorry that that grown woman is feeling shamed by her 6 year old

[@kanienkehakaka]

I'm here for Kelly's expertise anyway. Happy birthday!

[@Petruskinhap972]

That’s why I don’t trust young therapists, like that caller. They haven’t had the time to figure out their own issues yet. Dr John was giving her great tips and she still didn’t get it.

[@tinam761]

I wouldn’t paint every young therapist with that broad stroke … I do myself though also prefer someone with some age and life experience. My therapist is early 40’s and that’s about as low in age I’d want for myself… I’m 54.

[@JamesBond-lt5tr]

Age has nothing to do with how good a therapist is. You don’t know what that person’s experience in life has been. A great therapist is someone who is able to connect with you without making it about them. The therapist is there to help you navigate through your emotions and issues and teach skills that help you cope with life. That takes practice, making mistakes, and having a supervisor or mentor who’s willing to invest in them to enhance their skills. Learning doesn’t stop after the diploma. I wouldn’t discredit someone just because of their age, give them a chance just as you would want someone to give you a chance.

[@msbeecee1]

I would definitely discount any therapists in their 20's. For exactly what the OP says. They simply haven’t had sufficient time to heal themselves yet. Very rare to find a good therapist at ANY age, let alone in their 20's.

[@WPwillsavetheworld]

Proud of Dr John on the last call.

[@MicaelaShepherd]

The last call.... the level of gaslighting is shameful... she wants her way out. She wants the divorce but doesn't want to be the bad person, she is waiting for him to take the decision so she can blame him. She is mentally out of the marriage.

[@FaithAndRepentance]

Therapy degree or not you need some more life experience sometimes that's the best teacher what you are dealing with young lady is a heavy case of a sociopathic narcissist. That's a whole nother level I need to stop trying to fix that person. The best thing my narcissist case worker told me was when you get to the point where you see they're not taking one step to help themselves that's when you walk away they haven't fallen quite enough to feel the pain and need to stand up and help themselves

[@billbill5900]

Kids need a dad. She has every right to make you feel bad. You robbed her.

[@theologytherapist]

Amazing show! It is so important to be able to create the space for open dialogue and being able to recognize what works and doesn't work for us as individuals. ❤

[@tinam761]

The last call … wife is already done with the marriage. If she doesn’t have a new man on the side right now she is likely open to it and just hasn’t met them yet. She’s NOT owning her behavior. She is also pretty comfortable having a husband that helps pay the bills etc. and she doesn’t have to connect with him unless she wants to for her own needs. Cutting him off in physical intimacy is just another sign of her being done. I’m sorry for the last caller. I agree- get professional counseling… they are trained in a way a pastor is not. Professional counselors are trained to work within your values as well.

[@sarahalderman3126]

I agree. She’s functioning as single. For some reason she’s insulated herself. As for whether it can work or not it all depends on why she checked out and whether either of them is willing to address the original and now subsequent issues. Id be willing to bet there is some sort of past trauma or infidelity issues like porn going on underneath this present situation.

[@lilinsulatorchick9665]

I love how 15k people saw the title and said "yes.. yes I am. I'm very confused. All the time" and clicked this video 😂 myself included. We're all doomed

[@Gotthezooms]

Great show and advice. Been trying to get on this show for months now. The website might be broken, after I submit the form it blanks out without a confirmation message. Any other advice on how to get my submission through??

[@starlingswallow]

Are you sending it from your phone or a computer/laptop? That might be it! I'm wondering if they send out a confirmation that they got it. Hmmmmm....

[@Gotthezooms]

Thanks will do this

[@FaithAndRepentance]

It takes time . I'm sure John is overloaded with emails and calls to sort through and with only 1-3 calls per episode, perhaps day, I imagine it'll be awhile 😢 Surely worth the wait❤ @The Dr.John Delaney Show

[@djlazylee]

To the caller who called in about his wife sending pics to her ex. She told him to "let it go or let her go". Two words...Bye Felicia!!

[@nikstar1313]

“Please stop shaming me for the truth, you know, that I chose for you to not have a father” 😮 Some people just trugger me so much

[@lisaowens1664]

God bless Kelly! 🤣🤣

[@maryamory1549]

Bye bikini girl. My ex husband was asking me how to spell several words as ( I later discovered) he was having online conversations with other women. He said “ I know it looks bad…I was teaching her how to flirt.” What a man! He had no problem spelling the four letter words I noticed.

[@azimuthbusinesscenter]

he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays.

[@gordanaaleric8654]

Raise standard! YOU Are Worth more … people need to work on themself … poeople need to ASK for help … not YOU offering

[@thetimssportstalk3160]

"She's a very private person" Best line ever after saying she is sending a 'friend' bikini photos hahahahahaha

[@helloworldwhatshappenin]

Wow you look great Kelly! 💜

[@FaithAndRepentance]

If you are a single mother and truly want a child please consider adoption before insemination. Or ..Father There are so many children out there wishing someone would just give them a little bit of love❤

[@bffoxjr]

Because she's a narcissist and wants her own biological child, not caring about her potential future husband having to raise another man's kid.

[@AgaKirchner]

Sure but it’s worth remembering that some women truly crave the experience of being pregnant and giving birth. Adoption isn’t for everyone for many reasons. Adopted children can come with tons of trauma and not everyone is equipped to handle that. Also, adoption in the US is very expensive, two of my friends adopted and each spent $45,000 so not everyone has this kind of money (IVF is much cheaper if done for that reason and doesn’t require infertility treatment). There’s really a lot of aspects that has to be taken under consideration

[@melodyc123]

23???? In the same area? These clinics should put a cap on the amount of times a guy can donate.

[@AKhardcore1]

It should be illegal for single women to use sperm donors to have kids, depriving them of a father.

[@swesr]

WTH 🥴

[@jessm2560]

wow....😐

[@daxdawg1]

I agree. It's awful.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Should it be illegal for married people to use sperm? Same situation exists, Dad is nowhere to be found. trust me, that dude who sired that girl and probably 50+ of her siblings isn't gonna meet that dude and if she does, he's going to be a creep

[@AKhardcore1]

@@whitneyw.7919 yeah, all the artificial insemination stuff needs to be done away with. If a couple is infertile, which is very difficult, it could be providentially that they are meant to foster and adopt kids, and we should support them in that effort. I've known a couple of couples in that situation and they've been blessed with many kids who otherwise would have been left in the system, and they're doing great now.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Why is john trying to shame the 2nd callers daughter for talking in public about her family structure. "I don't have a dad" is not a private conversation for any other reason than to protect moms feelings. Daughter should be able to say "I don't have a dad" in the same way they can say in public " I don't have a grandparent" because they died.

[@bufficliff8978]

It's not appropriate because it's not small talk. It IS personal information that the grocery clerk doesn't need to know. The only time you'd see someone talk like that in polite society is from a child or someone who's autistic. Lowkey it's called "trauma dumping" in the adult world; it's impolite to put your emotional weight on a stranger. Hope that helps you see the perspective

[@msbeecee1]

​@bufficliff8978 That's a great explanation

[@matthewbrandon931]

Get ready for divorce number two. At least you can get ready for it.

[@malteserjones1502]

I hate the fact that I can’t have women friends. All their husbands hit on me. Or as soon as I engage in a minuscule conversation with their husbands, they start to get real ugly with me and just stop coming around. OH, but THEY sure can laugh and touch my husband’s arm and ask HIM for help! 😂 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@bufficliff8978]

You need honest conversations and help because that's not normal. ONE creepy husband? Sure. ONE woman who flirts with your husband? Sure. ALL of your friends husbands flirt with you? No. You're either exaggerating, have a perception problem where you're misreading things, or you're behaving in a way that's communicating something you don't intend to be communicating. Your situation is not normal and signifies a big problem

[@lexconcha7716]

Second mom seems incredibly selfish

[@daxdawg1]

Honestly cant stand a person thay would purposely willingly raise a kid with out a dad. Coming from a person that was raise with out my father. I can not believe you'd put your child through such a harmful and life long pain.

[@AKhardcore1]

Amen.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Life doesn't fit into your box, i know that's a tough reality to accept. LIke 90% of the pple in the world I don't think should've been conceived, Another question... why would you have a child when in poverty struggling to get by, yet probably 300,000 in the US babies will be born into this situation, so just let go of the wheel, control is only an illusion!

[@andreeaameliaganu5876]

Oh, yes! But i made easier for single person to adopt....one Parent îs better than none

[@DellTewahdo]

Having a baby by sperm donation is not about the kid it’s about the parent. It’s in the interest of the parent not the child who will inevitably need both parents. We go against God’s creation and not think there will be consequences.

[@FaithAndRepentance]

100%

[@FaithAndRepentance]

A child need 2 parents. One male figure one female. The chances of a terrible life increase when you take that away. Same as taking the bible out of America

[@bffoxjr]

You had me up until the Bible beating

[@rockpaperscissors.]

Deidre needs to not put adult conversations on her 6yo daughter.

[@shehnazahmad5213]

The 2nd caller. She feels better to date all this loosers. Bcs, she wants feel especial. She needs to get know herself first. Before, go into relationship. The 3rd caller. God made a reason for two.

[@kathedeangelis1295]

As a Christian, you and your wife were not evenly yoked.

[@bffoxjr]

Caller 2: You are finally beginning to see how much you set this child up for mental and emotional damage by not having a father in her life. Children of single moms have a much harder time succeeding vs children of married parents or single fathers. You've also handicapped your future dating options because a lot of guys aren't going to want to raise an anonymous man's kid. There's no baby daddy drama, but there's also no child support coming in. This child is set up for failure.