How To Have A HEALTHY Marriage Relationship | The Happy Wife School Show Ep.10

[@thehappywifeschool]

Video Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome 2:06 Topic Introduction 7:55 The Psychology of Relationships 12:02 A Good Man's Internal State 14:45 A Woman's Internal State 19:17 The Solution for Women 30:33 The Solution for Men 39:24 Wrapping Up 44:19 Questions and Comments

[@JohnDretired]

Its like she flipped a switch 2 months after we got married. Such a crushing life. No love, no affection, no friendship. I'm just an ATM.

[@aanand27]

If you don’t have kids, just leave bro.

[@ApriliaRacer14]

Same here. 3 years deep in it and it’s dehumanizing. Must make a change.

[@deathshead556]

Their is iron in our blood, it gives it its reddish color. Harness that iron around your heart, around your mind. With an iron sinew, break the chains that bind you and leave behind only apathy.

[@mrbugman67]

The road is littered with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Fix it or leave... don't suffer for 20 years and realize one day you're a flat squirrel.

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

@@mrbugman67 I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

[@Liv-qh8el]

I’m still young and married for the past 7 years, w 3 kids and I’m enjoying a lot your videos!!! Growing up around a bitter mom who hate my dad definitely influenced me to not be a great wife, also surrounded by feminist propaganda… I now can see that I made mistakes and I regret acting like that. Now your videos are opening my eyes and offering me amazing wisdom! Every evening after putting the kids to bed I come here to learn more instead of nagging about something from the day 🙊😂 Two days after me being more conscious of myself my husband has been the sweetest man (or he is probably always like that but I was blind?!) but not only that, it makes me respect and love him even more and in return he does the same! ❤🎉 thank you for your wonderful work!

[@brandonjones557]

This gives me hope

[@Irina-xm6mh]

I'm in the same boat as you, 6yrs married with 3 kids. She gave me a eureka moment and I had a conversation with my husband about working on myself. I love and respect him immensely but when I do or say the wrong things as a wife, I don't realize it! This requires a sort of mindset shift and a lot of self awareness. I feel that a great marriage is mostly in the woman's hands and the husband reacts accordingly.

[@importdoc7]

You hit the nail on the head ladies. Take care of your husband, and he will certainly take care of you. That’s what he lives for.

[@JamesMorris1301]

So simple yet we as men have made it so hard@@importdoc7

[@TheBoldandTheBeLoved]

This is amazing! I just discovered her videos and am open to self reflection and correction in how I can be a better wife to my husband of 27 yrs.

[@rougebaba3887]

My wife quite literally blamed me for not hearing her call my name. She had laid down in an Epsom Salt bath due to a shoulder injury, only to discover she was unable to rise back to her feet due to that very same injury. So she called my name numerous times, as well as our daughter's name..... But we were both no where near where she was in the house and simply couldn't hear her (well, at least me... our daughter was close enough, but had earbuds in listening to music while doing her homework.). When I did finally catch her calling, I stepped into the bathroom and immediately got hit with the following, "Did you not hear me?" in a very angry and upset tone. This sort of question is not genuine at all... it is not an honest question seeking a sincere answer (by the way, asking me rhetorical questions is one of her prime ways of insulting me). Of course I heard her or i wouldn't have been in there. This sort of question amounts to registering a complaint at best and a veiled accusation at worst - "Why weren't you here when I needed you? Hmmm? You have failed me again!" I didn't respond at all other than to get in a wet tub in my stocking feet and lift her up to stand. I asked if she was ok and then i left.... but I knew this was not over. I have come to realize just how emotionally abusive the woman I married can be. And I have also realized she is going to treat me in terrible ways ... if I let her. It is in her nature as a clueless abusive person. So I prepared myself for the inevitable confrontation where she would try to belittle me and make me feel like a complete failure and bad husband. She got dressed and when she came into the living room where I was reading a book, the conversation started with the expected veiled accusation... Her: "Did you guys not hear me?" said in a very stern tone. Me, looking her dead in the eyes: "Do you think we were ignoring you? Is that what you think?" Her, after a brief pause but staring right back at me: "I feel miserable, you know that." Notice how she didn't really answer my question. This statement, if I were to just simply agree (Yes honey, I know you are in a lot of pain) could be easily used to press the "You failed me" argument . The implication being that if I knew how bad she was feeling, a good man would have been prepared and available, no matter what, which is of course BS. I can't help a problem that I really had no idea was a problem. How could I know she'd be unable to get up when it surprised even her?!? She didn't even know it until it happened! Otherwise, she wouldn't have laid down in that tub. So how was I supposed to know? And yet here she was, implying that I somehow failed her in not hovering outside that bathroom, waiting like a slave for her to call me! I stared right back at her I said firmly, "Well I'm sorry about that, but DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME." We continued to hold eye contact. I wasn't going to break it until she did. She looked away and walked to the couch and I went right back to the book I was reading. About a minute later she said my name and when I looked at her, she said, "I felt humiliated laying in there like that." Her tone had softened and she was expressing real sadness, but this was also a way to deflect the behavior she had just tried to engage in. I replied with real understanding but firm correction at the same time, "I can understand feeling humiliated by that... but what i don't understand is trying to humiliate me over it. I was there helping the minute I knew there was a problem. If i had truly known five seconds sooner, you would have been standing up in that tub five seconds sooner. But yet I'm not feeling any gratitude in helping you, just disappointment. That makes no sense to me." Then i went right back to reading my book. My kids sat there in stunned silence. They are not used to this kind of conversation between us. For 25 straight years I have put up with emotional abuse... but I have reached the end of that. I will never let her treat me like that again. My correction worked. Ten minutes later she was in the kitchen apologizing and thanking me for helping her. I have come to realize that my wife is simply clueless as to the level of her emotional abuse of me. The above incident is truly minor and i am not saying this is real abusive behavior... but it was an attempt to become abusive. If i had not set the record straight, if I had done like I had done so many times in the past (apologized for failing to hear her, and thus reinforcing her awful behavior) it would have been used against me and I know she would have treated me the rest of the night with cold contempt.

[@TephaRhi]

This is a great example of how men need to respond to their woman’s crazy. See, I do not agree that a man should simply not be bothered, should just tolerate it, ignore it, laugh it off, whatever. I believe what you did was perfect. You stood strong, called her out on her abusive nonsense but not in a mean way, used a firm and steady tone, acknowledged her suffering whilst defending yourself, and you did it in front of the children who need to witness this for their own learning. You didn’t back down. Women will never respect a man who backs down in fear of them or just ignores them. This is a great example. Thank you for sharing.

[@rougebaba3887]

@@TephaRhi Thank you for the confirmation and affirmation. It is sometimes difficult to see the abuse as it is unfolding and to thus brace myself with the proper mix of firm correction and love. I keep telling myself that when I confront her in her abusiveness, I am actually doing the more loving thing for her. It is not love to continue to let the object of your love behave in ways that ruin your happiness because it will ultimately ruin your marriage. For me, this has not been a happy 25 years. It has been an awful 25 years. And I have to say I have sometimes loathed myself for having allowed her to get away with some of the shit she pulled. The way I used to respond was to just take it, somehow thinking that this was the respectful way, the dignified way. Something deep inside me would think, "To have to demand respect from my wife is to show I have no self respect." I just felt that respect ought to be a given... and it should be! A man should be able to expect respect from his wife, just as a woman ought to be able to expect her husband to love her. And it would seem pathetic for a wife to stand there and demand her husband love her.... "Listen, you are going to love me... do you understand?" As pathetic as that would sound, I felt demanding respect (that ought to be there as a given) was less manly than just taking her constant and unending disrespect. I looked at it completely wrong and I have paid a horrible price. Yes, I ought to, of right, expect her to respect me, if nothing else but by virtue of the fact I am providing for her material needs 100% and also loving her. But an emotionally abusive person like the one I married is incapable of such respect as a given. If I don't demand it, it will never be there. That is sad... but the alternative is unlivable and ultimately unloving. There are no do-overs in life.... but if everyone was granted just one... just one thing they could reset from their past, mine would be my marriage to this woman.

[@TephaRhi]

@@rougebaba3887 Yes I totally agree. And you are so right that your firm response is actually doing what’s best for her because you love her and you’re dedicated to your family. She actually needs you to correct her when she gets crazy. I’ve been trying to tell my friend this exact thing in dealing with his wife, who has destroyed their marriage to say the least. You basically have to be her Dad. Most likely her own father was not there to teach her how to be in the world. If she gets out of control, who’s going to reset her and bring her back? It has to be you. You should be proud you’ve come this far. Marriage is so hard, especially with the gender roles being so confused these days… stay strong… eventually she will thank you. She actually wants you to be the alpha, even if she cannot admit it or see it in the heat of the moment. And your kids need it as well. Again, thank you for sharing! This will help other men.

[@rougebaba3887]

@@TephaRhi Amazing! Yes! Her father committed suicide when she was only 6 years old. And it was over her mother, who had run off with another man! Her father had custody of her and her two siblings, and he abandoned them in that horrible way. You truly are insightful on this topic. Your friend needs to listen.

[@TephaRhi]

@@rougebaba3887 How crazy… when I read this I was in a twilight zone or something… my own father committed suicide when I was 6 over my mother who had met another man, so she had filed for divorce. Wow. I’m so sorry to hear your wife went through this. She is blessed to have you helping her through.

[@americanflyer4126]

I am flabbergasted to be hearing this from a woman. Thank you Karyn. You speak the truth. But you have broken "the code". I half expect to have this channel taken down, LOL. I scroll down and reading the comments makes me sad. So much suffering and loneliness for so long. It's too late for most of us but maybe our sons (and daughters) can be enlightened. Maybe mothers will begin to see these things happening to their sons and become enlightened. Probably a pipe dream....

[@duhg6059]

She broke the code and won't be invited to the man hating feminist convention.. Great message Karyn it's years to late for me but still eye opening to have a woman expose women's manipulations.

[@staffan144]

Thanks to your comment (and due to previous experience of channelse being deleted) I just downloaded the entire youtube channel (the happy wife school; videos; live and shorts) up to today (for backup purposes only, should it ever be deleted)

[@Steverz32]

Let’s get this wise woman to 15K subscribers 😊

[@ericmatos1025]

How about 1.5M this message needs to reach everyone.

[@TephaRhi]

“Our marriage is a reflection of our internal emotional state with ourselves” she said it all

[@canelareina3795]

What does this mean? Misery loves company?

[@TephaRhi]

@@canelareina3795 It means your marriage reflects like a mirror your own self. Actually, everything you experience is a reflection

[@paulbooij7594]

My wife is definetly in the "Or not" category. She cant see herself. My relationship with my kids and friends is great. She is the only person i have an awful relationship with.

[@danielwilson3313]

I have the same problem

[@906lane]

I have the same issue too 😢

[@andrew1717xx]

I am trying to avoid women who cannot see themselves. I happen to be Christian, so my current girlfriend understands the word of god. I appreciate you older men respectfully speaking up. 🙂👌

[@danilaroche1156]

I'd separate. That might force her to change.

[@sjsouljah7368]

Same

[@danielwilson3313]

My wife is currently leaving me bc of this stuff. Bc after years of taking it from her God taught me who she is. He brought me to every resource required to teach me what I'm dealing with. Your videos have confirmed so many things I knew to be true. Please pray for me that she is not allowed to take my children. Please pray she is not rewarded for destroying a good marriage and family.

[@parrotshootist3004]

You'll need an mra lawyer, if you want that.

[@humanistology]

I pray it works out fairly for you brother..stand your ground, focus on you and the kids. Good Luck❤️‍🩹

[@nicolejaime9526]

My prayers are with you and your children. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Stand strong and stand firm in your faith and convictions.

[@3plebron]

I’m with you brother. We will walk this together in spirit!

[@lancobear3544]

I hope all is well with you and your children.

[@mcran383]

Awesome show today. I put your live show on the family room Tv. So my wife would hear it. She got alittle triggered i find it very interesting you are saying things i have told my wife of 20 years now. She got mad said what is it always my faulf. She blàmes everyone around her for her unhappineas she than went back to things that happened years ago to try and tell me thats why she isnt happy. Self reflection is my wifes kryptonite. I learned this about her years ago and i dont let it bother me. Some how this bugs her too . I have been sharing your videos with family thank you very much Mike Ps please keep videos coming!

[@chucky8787]

much like a vampire a narcissist has no (self) reflection

[@JohnDretired]

Accountability is every woman's kryptonite.

[@susanhaines7358]

Did you cheat years ago and she hasn't gotten over it?

[@mcran383]

I have never cheated on my wife. However their is no intimacy between us she says it causes her physical pain but wont see a doctor. Says it isn't important. We haven't been together in almost two years. Months ago I started sleeping in a different room its hard to sleep next to someone you want to love but always get rejected. Otherwise our marriage it solid but the bedroom is dead... its just not ideal

[@susanhaines7358]

@@mcran383 that is sad. Sorry to hear that.

[@robinkelly1770]

I love the statement regarding emotional intelligence (eq). I came to the conclusion some time ago that women had far less eq than most men

[@JAdams-jx5ek]

Clear thinking well said. Two thumbs up.

[@scratch57]

women - "I experience a lot of emotions so that must make me an expert on them." I've had a lot of colds but I've yet to discover the cure.

[@MartinEngelbrecht-ey3rl]

Even in Christianity the focus is on each couple working on the relationship and meeting each others needs.

[@andrew1717xx]

As long as I can follow the word of god I will protect my woman. Thankfully, my woman understands god loves us and does her best!

[@vitaligas9273]

Dear lord! How come that no one knew this 30 years ago? Listening to you gives me goose bumps! Almost crying occasionally.. very bumpy marriage for over 30 years. Was reading a lot how to fix it, nothing come as a workable, she would refuse to listen to anything. You are my last Hope. Sending to her this video. If she tries to understand… Will see. Thank you!

[@gordonlawson2334]

Single mothers are ill equipped to teach boys to develop emotional intelligence due to their nurturing nature. Their role is to nurture. The father disciplines and rather aggressively so depending on what is needed to get the point across

[@ionicatoms]

I don’t agree with everything you say. However, I’m going through a divorce. I’ve been doing everything I can to turn my wife around. Not much success. This is the first time I feel like I can have a happy, healthy marriage with somebody, even if it’s not my wife, thank you so much for this video.

[@XIFORCE1]

May God comfort you !

[@XIFORCE1]

A lot of what you say is True! Thanks for ur wisdom!

[@3plebron]

💎 💎 💎 from beginning to end. God bless your heart and the women who listen and apply this wisdom. 🙌🏼

[@mysty0]

23yrs of feeling completely broken, a few more years and the kids will all be grown

[@chasingblue8952]

Thank you for mentioning _integration,_ and pointing at the distinction.

[@jonathanemanuel4988]

How about “Happy me, happy we” and “Happy Spouse, happy House”, not “Happy Wife, happy Life”

[@scratch57]

equality means managing your own emotions. if women want men to be responsible for their emotions then that's unequal, and in exchange must submit to his authority entirely - as an obedient child. both are effective strategies and all you have to do is decide which you prefer.

[@JackReynolds-w7g]

Do people really understand what " ... for better or for worse ... " is supposed to mean ? Personally, I've never had a closer friend. Sticking together through absolutely everything, is the very best indicator that two people love one another, more than anything.

[@dougoates6308]

For better or worse depends on how much both are willing to admit fault and change. If they are not willing to grow and learn it’s not worth a lifetime of misery. Marriage vows do not mean you have to be mistreated.

[@christisthekingofkings777]

When someone speaks so much truth then it must be from God.

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

Amen, brother!

[@XIFORCE1]

I have never heard of so much Truth & Knowledge from anyone before!

[@Moshe777]

This is such a good video. Unfortunately, this came to me a little too late. I had felt so beaten down and oppressed because I had those exact same thoughts in my last marriage relationship... that there was "NOTHING I could do for her to make her happy." We've had 3 breakups in our marriage... our last attempt was when I had those unwanted feelings of hopelessness and inability to do anything (despite ALL the things I've done for her) for her. This had caused severe oppression upon me, which dangerously caused me to slip into depression... needless to say, our relationship ended one last time because of this. Your video, however, caused me to really think about where I really had "failed." Thanks, again, for your video.

[@KMlJS]

Karyn is always on point in everything

[@TroyStevens430]

My wife always seemed to live a life of emotional desperation & fear when it came to our marriage. It makes sense to me now. It was her own emotional state that was causing this. Whenever she felt any kind of personal insecurity she would instantly project it onto our marriage (that is, mostly me as the husband). If I could go back and do it over I wouldn't allow her to control the marriage with her emotional chaos.

[@Eugwel]

Standing there with my brother the other day, he's talking on the phone to a young lady,you could just hear it in her voice, all vulnerable and obvious. Never in my life a woman talked like that to me, not even my wife of 40 years. Doesn't seem real, they do talk that way. Stunning sense of loss.Were that attitude directed at me I would melt.

[@staffan144]

It has never occured to me to attempt to (control and) change another. But for women it is normal/common behaviour?

[@honpolyo]

I'm still trying to date for the purpose of marriage despite all these horrible statistics I see over and over again. I feel like Tom from Tom & Jerry when he gets depressed in one episode and walks out onto the train tracks blind folded, lights up a ciggy and waits.

[@Jojo10475]

Exactly, I can slay dragons all day at work... then, as I head home, I feel the anticipated dread. Yes, the heaviness and darkness is like a dread coming over me before I walk into my home. Never knowing what to expect on the other side of that door.. and, honestly, it's almost always negative. I did something wrong.. who knows what. But, I am treated like the dog who soiled on the rug. EVERY TIME it seems.

[@marsewolfe3989]

WOW,do we know each other or are we related!!! I'm right there with you, I hate going home each day.

[@rickietasanders5536]

I love what you are doing im ready to take on myself so i can show up as my best self for my husband because he does deserve it from me he has been a wonderful man from the very beginning! I appreciate you doing this thank you so much🎉

[@danilaroche1156]

I didn't suggest you go back. I wouldn't go back to my ex. I hope you find a better love. All the best.

[@GummeeH3]

another thing that I heard on another video is that the modern woman despises the guy that commits to them. It seems that she doesn't see herself worthy so it lowers his worth. (I'm paraphrasing cause I was listening but not hearing)

[@rubensoria7457]

Many wife don't want to be open minded...

[@RickP-y2w]

It doesn't matter if you're a good husband if your wife doesn't act like a good wife. And it makes you feel like not even being home just to be ignored, rejected, and lonely. She doesn't work and has everything anyone could want. But still, she can't simply be nice to me. No one wants to go through their life living like this. She'd rather divorce than do the right thing..

[@xaviergarner6750]

Great CONTENT It's About Balance and Fairness and that Means Fair Fighting and Listening to Eachother and Repairing your Relationship before you don't have one the Grass is not always Greener elsewhere and Honestly ,there's not Enough Tolerance for couples. Example you Go to Work you don't like everything or Agree with certain tasks but you Do them and you Don't Quit, Hmmm very interesting and you are Not even Married to the Job but, you do exactly what they Ask or More 💯🎤

[@DennisRanahan]

A prime example of “low emotional intelligence” is having a wife that scoffs at and refuses to watch your videos even after requesting that she watches them with an “open mind”! The crux of this ISSUE is that society deems woman “equal”, which is so far from the truth. I’m in self preservation mode now, i refuse to give away my PEACE any longer. Tired of being a doormat

[@3plebron]

I walk with you brother. Master manipulators they can be!

[@stoked0719]

😭 bro, I finally feel like I’m heard watching this video, like maybe there is hope. I have to be strategic but maybe I’ll get my wife to watch this someday

[@stoked0719]

Right now it’s all about me changing for her though… but I just need to focus on changing myself to be the great man I know, and many others see, that I am.

[@DennisRanahan]

@@stoked0719 the only one that’ll help YOU is YOU. I absolutely enjoyed your replies to me. I’ve been trying to change for her and/or changing her but it’s been fruitless. Only led to more frustration. Not sure if you’re a fan but i follow David Goggins and self educating myself on Stoicism. Hope that’ll help you also, it’s transformed MY life. I walk my own path

[@json3122]

Thankku so very muck!

[@dianebonner7857]

So I felt a little defensive for the first few videos. This one changed my mind and my entire viewpoint. You’re right 100%. Thanks 🙏🏾

[@michellesmith7363]

A lot of what she says comes off as blaming women and saying men’s bad behaviour is all our fault, she might have some good points but will be very off putting for most. Then add all the angry men comments. Usually problems are 50/50 we all need to work on ourselves regardless of gender.

[@Invisibility397]

ONLY SELF is accountable for the emotions SELF feels. INTERNALLY NOT EXTERNALLY. If SELF does not put any or little time in learning (_______) then SELF is completely Ignorant about (_______). Because we all are born Ignorant and we must learn everything we need to know. What do you spend your free time doing. Use the internet for education before entertainment. SELF will earn everything that happens to SELF by what SELF does. °INFJ°

[@jeffreypullis696]

Interesting! Emotional intelligence!

[@MrJfortheElohim]

I'm glad you clarified your message because a lot of people will try to put a square peg into a round hole. I wonder when you talk about the switch women have that they use to turn on and off with sex comes from a loss of oxytocin. Do you believe that?

[@Rudy-e3f]

THANK YOU!

[@catchcookandhomestead3879]

You know I have suffered a lot in my relationship and am still going through it I just can’t lose my kids and I know I will.

[@guido20131]

GOD BLESS YOU

[@SplashJohn]

Karyn, I appreciate the content and your intentions, but I'm a man. Looking through comments, I'll estimate 95%+ of your viewers are men. So I expect this channel will help some men in some ways, but very few women, because the women who most need the help are not looking for it. Darn shame.

[@NEWYORKSTATEOFMIND-e1s]

That will happen

[@Steverz32]

Great show today K😊 Did your husband get the truck 🛻 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@thehappywifeschool]

Thank you, Steve. He didn't get the truck we saw last weekend but found "the one" this week. 🙂

[@legislatedanarchy1380]

Exactly. All relationships are 100% each person's responsibility. It's just like a crime. No person who conspires to commit a crime is only fractionally responsible. Just imagine if that were true.

[@rickybobby9797]

Sadly, most women today are not willing or capable of listening to the advice put forward on this channel. There is simply too much depravaty and entitlement being pushed in our society for women to “pursue” whatever makes them “happy”. There’s simply no incentive to empathize with their husband. No, he’s the oppressor and she is always the victim. For those women who can take the advice here then I can only say that their husbands are very lucky. For the rest of those good men out there who are single, there is very little reason to enter into a contractual agreement where the wife will more than likely break the agreement for whatever reason she comes up with.

[@Jaco3688]

Well reasoned. Well stated.

[@glynnwatson50]

Thank you very much for your insights into the relationship between husband and wife. I would like my wife to just say thank you occasionally and maybe give me a kiss on the cheek or say I love you. I prayed to the GREAT GOD of heaven and earth to please take my desire for sex away and to make me totally impotent so I wouldn’t be a burden to my wife. I have worked extremely hard to try to make her happy and have failed miserably!! She continues to tell me I’m a failure to the point I have had a nervous breakdown. We have been married 32 years. I wish I had never been married and just had good female friends instead!!! Kindest regards, Glynn

[@JO-uy6zs]

Thank you? As if my wife would EVER appreciate or respect the man who has done thousands of things wrong. She said there will be no affection until I fix ALL the damage I caused. The End.

[@gordonlawson2334]

Men like women have feelings and all of the emotions too. However, properly taught males (by a father) learn discipline..self control… or the high end of emotional intelligence. Why?? Well Fathers are aware that due to the aggressive nature and

[@shaynemcmillan8315]

I appreciate your podcast it made me realize it wasn’t my fault but after 33 years I’m so mad and have no intention on fixing her problems anymore

[@Runawayslave2023]

Is your program for long term (~10 yrs) sexless marriages or does that fall into the abusive relationships your videos are not addressing? I have tried several years of marriage counseling helped my wife address her past childhood trauma but now she claims she is asexual and always has been and she no longer wants to help repair our marriage.

[@PJ-om2wq]

Tell her that she has to choose. She can have her asexuality, or she can have you. She can't have both.

[@906lane]

Time for a divorce and new relationship. Why would you let it get to 10 yrs sexless? That is very abusive and just mean to do so.

[@jackdeniston59]

Protect your money.She has stolen your life, protect yourself.

[@chalsfo]

She likely have sex with someone else she Settled with you. Se mgtow knowede

[@rickybobby9797]

When a woman behaves like this she has already decided it’s “over”. My suggestion is get a much less paying job (hold it for at least a year) liquidate your assets (cash, etc..) and then divorce her in the following year--otherwise, you’ll get the royal screw. Just remember, it’s been over for her for quite some time…plan accordingly.

[@toddgore2289]

Do you have recommended videos for men that choose to stay, even though their wives are unhappy and difficult?

[@MemphisBBQ640]

"You control your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." --Marcus Aurelius “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus "To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden." --Seneca

[@XIFORCE1]

Number #1 !

[@lars1480]

i wish I could go fore a walk and listen to this - 😊

[@leonnephew2724]

Yes I did take the risk of asking her big time conflict to watch some of your videos.

[@XIFORCE1]

Now I can drop ur opinions during the day & Changes are Happening! I am a good man!

[@nineteeneightyfour3680]

My pastor who used to be the sr pastor of the fourth biggest southern baptist church in Texas has taught me that evangelical women are hard wired to emasculate their men. He uses the term “the Baptist woman and their husbands”.He (dr randy white, first Baptist Church Taos NM) is no longer a SB but let the name on the sign still say baptist. He’s the first and only preacher I have ever heard that actually knows his bible which ended up getting him fired for the big league. If I didn’t know better I would think this woman believes her bible the same way that he does. I don’t know how far she and her husband are from his church but I have a feeling they would enjoy a vacation and visit to his tiny truth teaching church.

[@CiluhStyle1]

Sometimes we do know...we should know...but we wont know everything and that's the issue...women think we should know everything that's wrong with them because we are wired to figure things out...but cut us some slack we still human

[@christys.3912]

Some women are just nuts, but my husband used to say I was expecting him to read my mind, when in reality he had just chosen to believe I was being overly emotional about things while I explained exactly what I was needing so he wrote off anything I was saying. He just wasn't willing to hear it while I was being emotional. When I learned to control my emotions while having a discussion, it was as if a light bulb went on and he realized he was reacting to my emotions by getting defensive and not hearing what I was saying and realized I had been stating the problem all along. He fixed it immediately and now no longer feels like he has to read my mind because I no longer let my emotions control the way I'm communicating. Which then allows him to not get defensive to hear what I'm saying. We were both wrong. I was allowing my emotions to dicate how I was communicating, and he allowed the way I was communicating to dictate how he reacted. We worked on it without counseling, just two people working through a difference between the sexes. God played a huge role in allowing me not to get overly emotional and let it ruin the communication though. He helps me stay in control of the emotional storm that is in a woman's brain. It takes two to work through it though.

[@petebuhrer5064]

Drain me. At this point, I’m just looking for a meaningful way to die.

[@nineteeneightyfour3680]

Me too

[@michellemelom7663]

The very first thing for a man to do revolves around his response to a bad wife……

[@davidhuffman4036]

Everything is a competition and if im angry its a fault of my own, not because she did something ,didn't do something or say something . Before the arguments Everything is calm. The arguments are based upon an attitude that's already there. Insecurity is a bad bad thing for men. Men don't need Insecurities from a woman to be burdened with. We care but we aren't women. We are who you married in the beginning unless you change that

[@michaeldion1272]

I was really surprised when i heard you use the phrase "bad and wrong". My wife has used this exact phrase over and over throughout our marriage. Another phrase she likes to use is "you just want to prove your point," as if she doesn't care whatsoever about reality. 6 years of dating and 15 or so of marriage were basically fine. Then a switch was flipped because of a couple of events and everything started going downhill.

[@JC-gw3yo]

I had an elderly lady once tell me, Let a man lead and a woman will have a great life

[@jasonw2696]

Here is a harsh reality I must point out. From the Bible. Eve could not be happy in the garden of Eden.🤷🏻‍♂️ the most perfect situations still wasn't happy🤷🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[@LandelisaMxinwa]

Daniel Though , this belated Prayer , it's never late for God to mend: "The departing and divorcing wife repents now in the Name of Jesus!!

[@gordonlawson2334]

Females I’ve seen are taught to be Self Expressive.. in contrast. Which is merely the first step towards emotional intelligence, unfortunately !! By their mothers and the father is strictly forbidden to interfere by Mom.

[@christys.3912]

Any main that allows the mother to raise the child alone is setting his family up for failure. The mother is the nurturer and the father is the disciplinarian. That's the only way to have a well rounded child, male or female. Women need to learn to give up their control in that area, and men need to take back their control.

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

NPD and BPD are personality disorders that according to modern psychology are either incurable, or at minimum would take decades of therapy to fix. What you are describing is so toxic that I can't distinguish the difference between these disorders and what you are characterizing as normal female behavior. Independent of your videos, I long ago determined that I am not the problem. It took a while because how you describe most men is accurate. That being said, how is a good man supposed to determine if his wife is even saveable? I have no desire to endure much more of this.

[@jeffreypullis696]

Internal locus of control!

[@jasonw2696]

I'm curious how you would suggest to approach a situation of role reversal in a marriage? 🤔 Simply, because in today's society that is becoming ever more common place. Blue collar Men end up getting married to white collar women that make four or five times more than they ever could make regardless of how good they are at what they do. Any ideas how to navigate that situation?

[@BC-vg3zf]

This crux has been shown even at parity. In red pill forums it’s been shown if a man and a woman both earned 100K each her respect is less until he earns about 58% more than her so aka 158K to the example

[@christys.3912]

Which is part of the problem. Women should be at home raising happy children in a happy and peaceful home. When you allow others to raise your children there are problems. Not to say some women don't have to work, many do... but even in this economy we make it work, making sacrifices, for the family. We don't all need to be independent boss babes.

[@ivetteme3707]

Who was your mentor?

[@nineteeneightyfour3680]

Id like to know that too

[@CiluhStyle1]

Emotional intelligence is most often defined as: the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage and handle emotions. If men didnt have emotional intelligence like women want to claim we dont, all this shit you see would be in debris. We have to have emotional intelligence to get the job done so if we didn't all of us would be dead.

[@Dee-th4mr]

There is an inherent hypocrisy to it. One standard for them and another for us. If she raises her voice she’s passionate if we do we’re being a bully or abusive. I used to listen to a band Collective Soul. They did a song called “Blame” and it’s a good listen and you can hear and read the lyrics and say “Wow, that’s all it would take sometimes!”

[@christys.3912]

Men need to take back their control and women need to relinquish it and learn to not allow her emotions to dictate communication and her reaction. Men also need to learn to not allow the way she is acting to dictate the way they react.

[@lenniewalker1001]

I'm very lonely in my marriage, no affection in years!

[@WatchfulHunter]

You make me mad. Well you drive me crazy. You're a typical nag. Well you're just lazy. Immaturity is the problem. Both refuse to accept responsibility for their part. Both are defensive, blaming the other. If one does give in and accepts responsibility for his part, she will claim victory and continue to blame him. If only she refuses to accept any responsibility, then this is where growth is needed. A mature, experienced woman can help her see inside herself. After two marriages, I prefer living alone.

[@chalsfo]

Mgtow

[@chalsfo]

Emotionel violently is not EI

[@gregorytremain4086]

Just like you don’t blame an orange for what is squeezed out of a lemon you are not to blame for how another is treating you and no one but you are to blame for how you treat another person.

[@gordonlawson2334]

Forgive me for redundancy

[@JO-uy6zs]

My wife takes equal share if the blame for our sexless angry bitter marriage. LOL just kidding. Its 100% my fault ALWAYS.😂😢

[@danilaroche1156]

That's not a marriage. I'd try a trial separation

[@nineteeneightyfour3680]

I hope God gives this couple a special place in heaven because they are hitting the nail on the head. I wish they had a website that vetted who they let go on it. What the hell happened to marriage that its so difficult. The woman are messed up if they are so called little c Christian by people like Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore and the men are clueless just trying to make their wives happy enough to get one more piece of tail. So so screwed up. God bless this website

[@ericbogenschuetz3500]

Unfortunately as true as all this is, a wife like this will never listen to this and reflect and change. They will blame the man and call us narcissists for sending it and make it worse for us. Even with that said though, still sent it to my wife hoping she will open it and truly take it in.

[@CiluhStyle1]

May God bless you

[@Animatthias]

Reading through the comments I get awful flashbacks of past relationships and the feeling of being eaten alive dream by dream. I can only recommend absolute rigor and zero tolerance with toxic femininity! Even if it means for the individual man to live alone, it's about reminding women as a whole that there are limits in this world. It will always remain a historical fact that in the 20th and 21st century A.D., women in the West tried to wage war against their men. Basically, as soon as everything felt safe enough to do so (...thanks to the hard work of men...) Men will not forget this. The only reason for any woman to destroy a man's dreams is to cripple his soul in order to keep him at her side. They wouldn't cut their cat's legs off but they all do that.

[@JO-uy6zs]

Sheesh bro you are a real crybaby. Both sides share responsibility but here you are sobbing about chicks

[@ECO473]

Women react to marriage as if they hit a jackpot. Men react to marriage as if their best friend died. Any questions???

[@danilaroche1156]

No. Plenty of men are overjoyed if it's a God ordained marriage. When I marry I won't see it as a jackpot win but an assignment to honor God and my husband.

[@marsewolfe3989]

I've often heard of the tie a man wears to his wedding is a designer hangmans noose!

[@ECO473]

@@marsewolfe3989 🤣🤣🤣

[@michellemelom7663]

And the problem being the woman’s fault continues in her dialogue. I totally understand why men love this channel.

[@sana-cm7oc]

Actually she advocates men staying in abusive marriages for the benefit of the woman. She wants the woman to have control and that problems only arise when the man resists the abuse.

[@saezon6305]

The men commenting here are misogynists. They have flooded this woman's blogs and I'm starting to wonder if that is the point.

[@michellesmith7363]

There is likely some good info in here but the way it’s presented is very off putting. Even good men can act poorly and no it’s not only because women. If women are responsible for our own happiness then men are responsible for theirs.

[@ajknaup3530]

I cannot help but notice you speak of working with "good" men, yet, unless I'm mistaken, you fail to apply the same adjective to the women with whom you work?

[@rickybobby9797]

When women behave badly they never view their husband as “good”. But even if they do it’s still his fault for not making her “happy”.

[@ajknaup3530]

I try to avoid (like the plague) any woman who thinks it's my job to make her happy. That is a losing game, every time @@rickybobby9797

[@whoimia5208]

@@missandry5178 😂

[@JO-uy6zs]

She says that all women are "bad" so there no needed to differentiate them.

[@ajknaup3530]

@@JO-uy6zs That's a pretty rough assessment. I'm not sure I can argue with it.

[@Therealkingk909]

You keep mention that what you teach the psychology of relationships. Relationship psychology is a very real field so I’d like to ask if you have any training in psychology or are you more of a relationship coach who infuses psych terminology?

[@IBNED]

It seems to me she draws on experience instead of having professional credentials. One can gain an incredible amount of knowledge by studying books like "The Body keeps the Score." Along with years of dealing with thousands of people who are experiencing such issues. She also states that her counsel is NOT a substitute for professional care...

[@Animatthias]

If you want to find about emotional intelligence, ask a male manager!

[@antonioamaral7471]

👍

[@glennwidelko]

The title of this video is important … the blame game is driven … by the underlying compulsion towards PETULANCE … which is foundational … in liberal feminists women … and petulance precludes the voice of reason … it is ruled by ego and emotion … and that defines woke liberal women …

[@randallbokma2619]

Me: oooh whats this Happy Wife School? Maybe I finally found the channel with sensible women viewers. Checks comments: 90% dudes who have been burned by women that will never watch this channel, aka the people that need the message most

[@Eugwel]

So now I know how broken, abused, and lost I am. Huh

[@joebolling]

I get addressing the victimhood mentality of a wife, but isn’t the approach just converting it from that into a victimhood mentality in the husband?

[@glennwidelko]

I remember being told repeatedly as a boy … the misconception that … girls mature earlier than boys … and stuck on repeat … through liberal educators … this doctrine was repeated … the reality is different … girls do not mature earlier than boys … they only learn to manipulate … early in life … and liberal educators and academics … associate manipulation with maturity … in fact manipulation is the very absence of maturity … and stuck on repeat … girls are fed these misconceptions … and are brainwashed and indoctrinated by educators … so when mature men … husbands call reality and truth on their immature wives … their wives cannot handle the truth … and blames is one key avoidance strategy … gaslighting and deflecting truth … and we real men suffer incredibly for decades as a result … the sad reality is … in our woke modern world … the probability of a woman being mature is highly improbable …

[@sarahmcfarlane6471]

I have never heard such a skewed, biased take on marriage. Most marriages have conflict that stems from the actions and reactions of BOTH people. If you are hear listening to this BS because you love the validation that you are blameless and your wife is the villian, then it is no surprise your marriage ended or is in conflict. BOTH people need to look at themselves. This podcast is actually very destructive if you’re actually searching to heal your relationship. If you just want to feel like a victim, you’re in the right place, men.

[@christys.3912]

We all know that men do some stupid crap that ruins a relationship, but the point of this is to realize as a woman... so do you. We all have bad behaviors (man and woman) that needs to be addressed personally, before anything will be fixed in the relationship. She just happens to be calling out the woman's bad behaviors. She could make it clear she is not talking about ALL women cause there are still a few good women in this world. But the point is to make the woman question herself and evaluate if the shoe fits. If not, great... but all of us have engaged in at least a few of the bad behaviors she mentions throughout her videos at one point or another. We must address our mistakes too. And not many are willing to do that.

[@ravendronesolutions]

Yup here it goes. Avoiding accountability. How convenient. Why is it when men get called out it's like the World Cup in the media? But when women get called out it's a problem?

[@eyesforeveropened6214]

So when you say a low emotional intelligence, what does that mean exactly. I’m asking because the man I know that follows you and told us about you at work would like his wife to learn from your videos; but I can already see that all she’ll hear is that she has low intelligence. Also when you talk about taking control; I know this person will think she’s supposed to be more in control of her husband (which I know that’s not what you mean) I wonder if there’s a good starter video that has more careful word choices directly geared towards these particular women. 🤔

[@christys.3912]

She doesn't have one that is easy to swallow if you're a woman who does these things. I recommend getting women to watch the more entertaining red pill stuff that they can laugh at and get mad at and then if they keep watching they slowly start to see what the men have been talking about. I've kinda always been red pill because of my religious upbringing, but I was sheltered and didn't believe women were as evil as people were saying they were... until I watched the stupid nonsense on shows like fresh and fit and pearly things... then my eyes started to see and ears started to hear. Idk that's just how I realized I was red pill and just grew more red pill from there. I don't always agree with everything, but there is definitely truth in it.