How to Identify Obsessions & Compulsions

[@alfiefox18]

This guy has literally improved my life x100

[@theboogie_monsta]

Same.

[@rioforforeigners]

He's awesome

[@zuzu091]

This guy is my hero

[@j.danielbort7387]

I'd like to say I am utterly obsessed with all of mark's teachings, but that would defeat the purpose, right? :)

[@infinitehugs4974]

J. Daniel Bort haha

[@breeny162]

thank you for this Mark

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@theblankspacefillintheblan2139]

Really glad I found your videos

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I hope they're useful on your adventures!

[@stephaniebartles1133]

You have literally saved my life, I'm not going to get into detail bit you reassure me that I am not alone with the thoughts I have. I know it will be a hard and long journey recovering from OCD but I know it will all be worth it when i can finally cope with these thoughts and live a normal life. I have rituals and intrustive thoughts with evert daily task and am now very close to being kicjed out of college necause i avoid doing things to avoid the anxiety. With your helpful videos I know recovery is possible and not far away. You have taught me that the thoughts are not real even of I have a gut feeling they are. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, I am beyond thankful for your videos and help -Stephanie.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome, Stephanie! I'm glad you found the videos helpful. You are definitely not alone with experiencing intrusive thoughts and you are not alone in working to overcome them and do the things you care about!

[@the_monolingual]

Helloo! Wondering how you are doing now?

[@stephenkrus]

Wow! This make so much sense! This concepts might help me. 👍

[@nikitajain2274]

You are my hero. Your book has changed my life📙😍

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm glad you've found the book useful on your adventure!

[@nikitajain2274]

@@everybodyhasabrain your ideas about mental health awareness and recovery is highly relatable. I have never attempted suicide but I have had intrusive suicidal thoughts and your videos, actually just hearing your voice is reassuring that I can come out of that rut. You have saved my life and if possible I would love to meet you one day. Also, I wish more people could learn from you. I think you should start your own consulting company or podcast something like that. Your message might save millions😘.. A true friend and admirer from India ❤️🇮🇳

[@kristencowan8360]

Your videos are so incredibly helpful!

[@SKRithvik]

Thanks Mark. That’s a really effective definition. Very often, I have silly habits fuelling my worst anxiety indirectly(or directly).

[@deadinteresting8905]

hey! you've been in my head! yep all those but didn't realise it was much more widespread than my "theme" ... ugh.. been so unconscious!

[@dey12956]

Reall good points and super helpful! Thanks man!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

:)

[@juliaworksocial8741]

Thank you for all you do!

[@cody5879]

You man deserve more subscribers! Amazing knowledge on OCD!

[@SlothFeels]

Hi Mark. This has been such an enlightening message, and I´ve had a small idea on my mind of which could be the root cause behind these kind of compulsions, however, you just clarified it completely. Thank you and best regards

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! Glad it helped :)

[@RobCollins]

Great stuff as ever, Mark. Your work has been a massive help to me and to others. Thank you!

[@KentNa1]

Thank you for the great video. Your videos were the first step towards me understanding my own OCD.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Natalie Kent You're welcome, Natalie!

[@pixie89]

I cant thank you enough for these videos, please keep making such videos

[@alejandracerecedo3468]

This is too accurate, thanks

[@Pyraus]

Excellenet perspective... thankyou!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@Seizetheday31692]

Fantastic video and explanation.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Adit Vakil Thanks, Adit!

[@Ashleyiza]

Awesome video Mark. Thank you for all you do. It's all about breaking out of that cycle.

[@Ashleyiza]

For me those less noticeable compulsions are the trickiest ones and hardest for me to stop. Like asking the same questions over again. Checking my hair or something in the mirror... It had become a part of my "personality". You opened my eyes to this too! Thank you again Mark.

[@user-tv6bv4ot1f]

Thank you. 🙏

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@pandeburger8592]

Hi sir Mark I really need your help with this one, are emotions like doubt an obsession? You're my only hope 😭🙏

[@NYRfan4ever]

Great stuff!

[@larajack2392]

Good video

[@saschamatuszak5598]

hey mark, i just got dumped by a girl i fell in love with. she told me from jump street that she didn't want to be a girlfriend, nevertheless we had a veyr intense time in which she edged up to being my gf, but eventually chose her path, which was to remain free from that restriction. I, of course, ended up heartbroken, throughout the time we were together, i exhibited every single compulsion you listed here. Much of it was due to the fact that she did not make me feel secure at all, but also I drove the compulsions on, not having seen this video in time :) ... now I am in the heartache phase, and I am wondering if you have some ideas for getting through this. I can't get her face out of my head, and i find myself constantly dealing with intrusive thoughts and an intense desire to reconnect, which will not happen. I am basically in the bargaining phase of grief, and i am trying to move out ... it's only been about 2 weeks tho, since the final communication. Anyway. Anything you can add helps.

[@sabirkuliev5313]

Hey Mark, Could you please share how to identify unhelpful beliefs? .Thanks and take care

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Sabir Kuliev It helps to look for things you believe that are causing you problems. For example, of you were bothered by clouds in the sky, you might explore why those clouds bother you and you'd discover a belief that there should be no clouds in the sky. We don't control the clouds in the sky so holding a belief like that would likely cause many problems

[@sabirkuliev5313]

***** Got it! Thanks once again.

[@teresamanuszak9290]

Thank you Mark! I am enjoying your videos. How do you know the difference between mental compulsions, and just normal thoughts that average people worry about? I think my OCD has led me to be an exceptional employee in various positions. My anxiety, however, has disrupted my career in the big picture, as well as provided difficulty in my personal relationships. So how do you ditch compulsions, but not lose your ability to have sound judgement?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This is a common fear. Learning how to swap the fuel door decisions from fear to values is what helps me. You can make healthy personal and professional decisions without basing decisions on fear. It also tends to lead to much better decisions because you'll be making decisions based on what actually works instead of what you think or feel might work in a particular situation.

[@teresamanuszak9290]

+Mark Freeman Thank you for such a fast response!! On a Saturday :)

[@user-tv6bv4ot1f]

Is this video to help Borderline sufferers bc man.. Its totally what i do#!!! Obsess which cause my compulsions. It drives my wife crazy..and drives her away. Even my work relationships. Im very paranoid.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes, compulsions are the same, regardless of the label we stick on them. We can notice that urge to do the compulsion, recognize that it's going to lead to the outcome we don't want, and make a choice to instead build the relationship in a healthy way.

[@wanmeireles7182]

Finally my Portuguese subtitle was accepted for this video! woohoo

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you for creating it and sharing your skills!

[@wanmeireles7182]

@@everybodyhasabrain Now I'm going to show it to my friends haha! Thanks you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@wanmeireles7182 thanks for sharing!

[@V3RITAZ_42]

You help me so much!

[@chriswarfield6840]

Hey Mark! Thanks for this video - I’m trying to understand something confusing me between this video and your What’s an OCD Thought video. In this video, you mention identifying obsessions/compulsions in this manner and how it’s helpful. In the other, I interpreted what you said to mean regardless of the thought, we don’t need to respond to identifying it as it doesn’t change our value actions. I think I’m confused, as one sounds like labeling and the other is acting in alignment with values. Maybe I’m misunderstanding the idea of obsessions/compulsions vs OCD thoughts. Any light to shine on this? Thanks!

[@jasonthomas5369]

Hi Mark your videos are brilliant The problem I have is i'm coming to terms with my Anxiety/OCD. However as I am tackling my issues. I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable with how severe my hygiene has got when I've been going through my anxiety's. Now I'm tacking these situations I'm struggling to find short term solutions and this is creating a extremely low self worth/ mood. Is there any advice you can give me with regards to this issue.

[@1Kilili]

Tony Robbins would say, if you fear something you want to do, find something you fear more (that would be the result of not doing the thing you want to do but fear). Is this a strategy advised with SA, OCD etc? Say you want to give up smoking, and tell yourself about the cancer risk, so ultimately you become so afraid of that that you stop smoking ?! (I stopped smoking without this :) )

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Social anxiety and OCD are all about putting fear in charge of your life. As long as a person is afraid of dying, his mind will think of new ways to worry about dying. Instead of making decisions based on things you want to avoid, I find it's much more effective to make decisions based on what you want to create.

[@1Kilili]

Does not anymore being afraid of dying go a long way in beating anxiety ? I don't think I am afraid that much of dying .

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's great. What are you afraid of then?

[@1Kilili]

Rejection, not being seen as good enough in the hearts of people I like, especially women... Really that's all I really fear when I think about it. Death maybe only in relation to these things. Death means I can't set it right anymore, can't make them respect me anymore... I'm not a people pleaser, most people I don't care what they think of me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+1Kilili why are you afraid of people rejecting you or not seeing you as good enough?

[@bobbill2587]

Are compulsions sometimes done automatically? Im trying to cut out compulsions, but im not sure if im still doing compulsions without knowing and therefore not making progress

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@bobbill2587 You've posted multiple times to check for reassurance about this. It's not useful to you to post again and again checking for reassurance. It's not respectful of my time. You can just refer to the previous responses to this question. And the purpose of this channel is not to enable compulsions. If you find it difficult to have access to this channel without practicing compulsions, please block it. If you repeat a question again, I'll mute your comments on my videos.

[@anesmerazi603]

hi mark , my ocd is kind of strange , it's related to reading books , it's because i love reading so much and i consider it a substantial part of my everyday activities , i have these unwanted thoughts about not being able to read and therefore stop reading , so when i open a book these thoughts rush over me and causes me so much anxiety , especially when a book is hard for reading , because of complicated subject or advanced vocabulary , now , i am telling this because i don't know yet the compulsion i do when i am overcomed by anxiety so i can fight its urge , but i think its avoidance , because sometimes i can continue reading althought the anxiety , but sometimes i give up and i just close the book , and decide not to read anymore , but i will come back to read eventually , so can you help me identify the compulsion ? have you any advice ? thank you sir .

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Anes Merazi Yes, it's closing the book or avoiding it. Before you even open it, judging it's difficulty and attaching meaning to the content are also compulsions. The things we do to cope with or control the feelings we don't like are the compulsions.

[@anesmerazi603]

how can i deal with the compulsion of judging a book's difficulty and attaching meaning to the content ?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Anes Merazi It helps to start on other areas that don't cause as much anxiety. In general, tackling OCD as a complete beast is a big help rather than trying to focus on one or two compulsions that bother you.

[@shawnleong3605]

Hi Mark, is repeating the mantra, like for example, "This is all my OCD, I have to stop ruminating", a form of compulsion that I need to get rid of?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Is it something you value doing?

[@shawnleong3605]

+Mark Freeman I guess it's much better than ruminating and Analysing my thoughts...

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Shawn Leong uh, I'm not sure I see a difference between repeating a mantra in your head and ruminating (repeating other stuff in your head).

[@shawnleong3605]

+Mark Freeman how about just labelling them as OCD thoughts? Does it help?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+Shawn Leong I didn't have thoughts that weren't OCD so I'm not sure.

[@joshlemert6325]

Mark, thank you for the video. I am convinced that performing a specific compulsion will be effective in eliminating my obsession. Is there any validity to this, or is this just the ocd playing tricks on my brain? Thanks!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That is what OCD is all about. It is the practice, not the solution. It's like telling yourself that drinking the correct amount of alcohol will cure you of alcoholism.

[@Rheabreezee43]

hey Mark, great vid btw! i get these intrusive thoughts about self harm quite often and i live alone...it seems like battle...i always end up taking the pills...how do i accept this?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! If you can access therapy, that can provide some more long-term solutions than the pills, which will just keep this cycle going. You might also find it useful to look at cutting out compulsions beyond this particular issue bothering you. Accepting uncertainty about harm is just like accepting any other uncertainty, but if you're not accepting uncertainties throughout your life, it's very difficult to work on accepting an uncertainty that seems large and frightening.

[@Amy-os1ry]

Hi Mark, I 've been trying to look for "unoticed compulsions" and found something that looks like one: keeping track of thoughts by journaling. I find relief in writting the thoughs and emotions I experience (both uplifting and negative) . But it seems that it quickly turns into me trying to keep track of every thought as well as reading compulsively the positive notes I previously wrote to find reassurance. Any idea on how to replace this practice ? I do feel like writting and getting the thoughts out helps.

[@JosiahSCooper]

I don't know if you respond to old video comments, but I'll give this a shot: Have you ever heard of or experienced what I would call 'escalation of exposure'? Basically the concept is (from my point of view) the brain constantly shifts positions depending on the route and or narrative you take in life, so if you are afraid and always seek what makes you afraid, that is provocation for the sake of it rather than for any essential and or desired point. Fear manifests in new ways and different forms; there is always more to face, so the question is: should we always chase what makes us uncomfortable? This idea I think challenges ERP as a method for happiness, because I think one will become increasingly despondent when faced with perpetual challenge beyond what originally ailed them. Does this make any sense? For me the only solution to counter over-exposure, basically go out into the desert kind of sacrifice, is to be okay with yourself and know what you want: for that I believe facing shame, guilt, fear and greed are essential. What do you think? Is my brain justified in harassing me for not being my ultimate self? Should I have to be pushed instead of do the pushing? I understand that sounds 'reasonable' of a mechanism, that my brain would enforce for me, though I want to lead. I am I wrong for that?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This is useful to recognize. There's a section in my book on the importance of "walking away from the battlefield" and I strongly encourage people to build around the skills you want to add into your life, not the things you want to cut out. If a person's goal is to defeat fears, then they'll always need fears to be successful. They're making their enemy the prerequisite for success. So they shouldn't be surprised then if they always seem to have new enemies and they get increasingly more terrifying (because then defeating them will mean even more "success"). So I find it most useful to begin by looking at the things I value in life and where I want to go in life. And then the things I need to work on the challenges that will interfere with that path I want to take. There will be things I'm afraid of that are off that path but I don't have to work on overcoming those fears. They have nothing to do with me.

[@JosiahSCooper]

@@everybodyhasabrain The brain is a very tricky beast. I feel bad for personifying the 'other half' so to speak, but it does seem an adequate expression: it's like there is someone hiding behind every door, memorizing my capabilities and adaptations, that even when I succeed, he / she is awaiting on the other side with a new tool to slip me up. I wonder why we can't just get along more often! Thank you for your reply. There are components of my mind that go beyond intrusive thoughts, taking the form of commentary, so that even my own ideas and feelings can go beyond what I want to associate with. Staying grounded I think will be important.

[@gingerisevil02]

I gave into a compulsion, which was calling someone about a question that could've been answered TOMORROW because I wasn't comfortable with the uncertainty of waiting. What can I do to bring myself back to peace when I mess up? I didn't realize that this was a compulsion till I did it but it was checking. I just asked when my social worker would be leaving and when I'd be getting a new one. (I had long term goals with her and she's leaving the agency.) I just wanted to know because I want to figure out bussing and pick up times so I can see an ERP therapist. I am judging and hating on myself for doing that. I have this belief that other people are obsessing about me and I have this pressure from others to get better and I got confirmation bias when she said "go team shaylen! Yay for you for being proactive!" I feel uncomfortable when people note my progress. I don't want to be seen as a display. I want to be private. When they acknowledge something, like progress, or ask "how's your anxiety?" "How's your sleep?" "How's this situation?" It brings my attention back to that so I become anxious and then I also worry "how much is there attention on this?" It's terrifying for me. Sorry I'll try and comment let, this right bow is my main concern. You can disregard other comments, I just would like some insight in this. I thought I was doing better then I caved.

[@susieq984]

Mark I have something I want your opinion on. So as you know I've been doing pretty fantastic and would say I am most definitely recovered. Only thing is, I haven't cut out my music compulsions entirely. Listen and ruminating for hours on fake scenarios, which I SEE how it effects things. With things like that, do you recommend I stop listening to music for a while? I keep finding myself back to this one thing, since I've been doing it for years. It's the one thing I'm having issues cutting out.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

What would you like to do?

[@juliaworksocial8741]

What if the ocd says that if you don't do the compulsion you won't be happy? I'm actually unhappy when I don't do the compulsion I've tried it. How can I be happy regardless? When I don't do it I'm convinced I'm unhappy, of course I'm unhappy then. So it's real!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm not sure where to begin with this one--I'd consider all of the premises underlying this as just being helpful. It's like asking: "What if the out-of-shape monster says that if you don't avoid the gym, you won't be happy? And it's true! I'm actually unhappy when I go to the gym. I tried it! I was so sweaty and gross and I was so sore and in pain for days. So it's real!"

[@toasted8432]

Anybody else feel the loading bar of figuring your obsession almost complete and the finish line gets further away?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

But that's a compulsion that would naturally cause that. It's the same as somebody trying to wash more to get a perfect feeling of being clean. They'll only make themselves feel more contaminated. So it's useful to cut out compulsions like that, unless you want to keep making it worse.

[@toasted8432]

@@everybodyhasabrain the compulsion here would be ruminating? Trying to figure it out? Correct me if I’m wrong please

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@toasted8432 Yes, and also the judgments/comparing around "complete" and the idea that something is "solved" or controlled. So many compulsions are about chasing that feeling. With contamination, relationships, reality/existential obsessions. Chasing that completeness and seeing it as a good thing, just encourages the brain to doubt so much more and so many more things

[@sadpuffin1652]

Thank you :)

[@myfragilelilac]

I have an anxiety disorder. Compulsions sneak up everywhere. Sometimes you arent even aware of them. I have to check my oven about 5 times before leaving the house.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Those are the compulsions we can cut out. I used to just stand in front of my stove and watch it because I couldn't be certain it was often even after checking it multiple times. The videos on my channel are about the skills to cut out those types of compulsions

[@blazingsix]

Hi Mark I'm trying to identify all my compulsions to recover properly, and in one of your videos you say don't respond to the stuff in your head, and I get intrusive thoughts and ignore them, is this a compulsion as thought suppression or am I doing the right thing?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I find it useful to approach thoughts like they're clouds. You probably wouldn't consider it a compulsion to ignore the clouds in the sky, so why would it be a compulsion to ignore a thought? If you notice it, you notice it. That's fine. It's like so many things we see in the environment every day. If you walk past a tree, you're not engaging in tree suppression because you don't stop and stare at the tree.

[@karishmasawhney2339]

Hi mark few months back my entire past flooded back in front of my eyes which made me remind of a breakup that I had 7 years ago and it made me fear something and started creating what if scenarios that may happen I got scared and feared that memory so much but one fine day I stopped fearing that memory which was a concious decision and those thoughts eventually went away but that guys name is still stuck in my head and theres an inner voice which repeats his name quite often can you please suggest is this an obsession or compulsion because this person was an obsessed memory and I had no plans to invite him in my brain after 7 years of moving on and sometimes my brain automatically takes me and reminds me of his face his name in big big letters and it's become really difficult for me to understand that's it's a compulsion having his name in my head or an obsession please answer me as you are seriously someone I follow and your videos have helped me reach this stage where I am today

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I wouldn't get too stuck on the terms. There's obsessions and compulsions here. Posting this message to check on it, trying to control it, judging it, checking if it's there, are examples of compulsion. The images, the name, the fear of it not going away, chasing that desire to get rid of it, are examples of an obsession. But they're just names for the different parts. I wouldn't attach much meaning to that. Instead, I'd shift the focus to making the changes that will help you give your time and energy to things you actually care about in life. And that will involve cutting out all of the compulsions you're doing around this obsession. Instead, I find it helpful to make space for any brain stuff while I keep the focus on my actions in the world.

[@wutru20]

Mark, since I watched some of your video's I started ruminating again. The thing is that when I want to cut out physical compulsions, I almost automatically start ruminating. When I'm feeling great that means doing no mental compulsions. I also think that physical compulsions dissapear when you stop doing the mental ones. Is that right? I am going to stop watching these video's since they are a compulsion for me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I wouldn't differentiate between mental and physical compulsions. Compulsions are compulsions. It's useful to cut them out.

[@kelleylawrence]

I have a lot of obsessions usually involving health scares, getting sick, dementia, dying, etc. I have a few physical compulsions which I have done ERP for with success. However, a lot of my obsessions don't have physical compulsions, it's mostly just mental "thinking traps" that I get myself in and I can' t stop thinking about. I have a hard time applying ERP for "thinking traps." Any suggestions? I am also learning mindfulness and meditation, but I am still struggling.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Here's a video on understanding mental compulsions: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d6Oto6WDlL2Ueqc Meditation and mindfulness can be a great help with this for learning how to chase after the uncertainties our brains throw up. I also have a video on the difference between intrusive thoughts and thinking.

[@pbshirley]

What does complete recovery feel like

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's great. You get to do the things you want to do in life.

[@pbshirley]

+Mark Freeman I used to be so happy and love to do things like hunt or power lift or drive just to drive now I'm so riddled with guilt And constant rumination and trying to figure things out don't want to do anything it wasn't even this bad after the war. But I start with a specialist tomorrow I appreciate your help and you being you

[@VanNorden13]

How can I stop judging people?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Practice! There are a bunch of different exercises people can work on. The first nonjudgment exercise I always give people is to just give yourself a week to explore judgments and notice how they happen. It's helpful to see the machinery before we start to dismantle it. So one way to do this is to go for a walk in a busy place and simply notice how your brain likes to jump on things and what it does. Maybe do that a couple times in one week. And then the next week, before you go for the walk in the busy place, pick an intention you'd like to practice. For example: mindful walking. Then, when your brain starts to run off and judge stuff, bring your awareness back to your feet on the ground and enjoy walking. And then the week after that, practice preventing the judgments by intentionally choosing what you focus on proactively. That's just one exercise. But through exploring that over several weeks, you'll likely begin to see how judgments don't need to be automatic and that we can choose to spend our time and energy on things that are more useful to us.

[@VanNorden13]

Very nice and very interesting. Where can I find more exercises like that? I had never heard about it!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

"Peace is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hanh is a great book to get started on the practice of mindfulness. In this blog post: www.markfreeman.ca/four-weeks-of-non-judgment-basics-practice/ I explain a bit more about the exercise I mentioned above. Once you get started, you'll likely see your own exercises you can develop because you'll know where you struggle the most with judgments.

[@VanNorden13]

Awesome!

[@simonh8144]

Hi Mark and thank you for your videos, I'm learning a lot from watching them. Can I ask your opinion please? Are the repetitive thoughts always the compulsion? In addition to practicing mindfulness in daily life is it advisable to say 'STOP' or similar when the repetitive thoughts are in flow to relieve your compulsions? Thank you in advance for any input. S

[@everybodyhasabrain]

There are many types of things that can be compulsions. I define a compulsion as anything I do to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty, anxiety, and other feelings I don't like. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by saying "stop" to "relieve your compulsions" but that sounds like it might be a compulsion.

[@teresamanuszak9290]

Sorry for being wordy, I can never manage to say things briefly (including this sentence! :p :p)

[@MAMP]

37 and 0 on this one. I'm seriously going to click dislike, just to accustom you to the idea of not being perfect Mark. This is an imperfection tolerance based channel after all, right? :0)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

+lilbromarky1 Haha go for it!