How To Improve Your Life Using the Enneagram

[@lisakafmw2673]

Type 5 here😌 I once heard a saying about weaknesses I thought was really interesting! It was along the lines of “Weaknesses are an overflow of one’s strengths”. It’s good food for thought, realizing that weaknesses are not a bad thing about you but rather just misplaced/misused strengths🤔

[@AbbeyHowe]

YES 👏 love love love this

[@ozzymandias90]

I too am a 5, 5w4 to be more precise. I too have always believed this to some extent or another. I've also thought that weakness is an underdeveloped strength, a malfunctioning tool because we do not understand its proper usage or function in our daily lives. Regardless of which it may be, I find that the solution is still the same and that mindfulness is required. Being honest and open with oneself and willing to explore the possibilities of self-improvement, although not infallible, will often help cover most of the gaps.

[@lisakafmw2673]

@@ozzymandias90 Very well explained!

[@piotrlatuszek171]

i wana back that up with my expirience in art - the things you dont understand and wana avoid are often the way you should go learn next to go futher with your skill and expirience - like finaly learning perspective,anatomy story telling or in my current sytuation...well it propably would be trying myself with some bigger projects and going trough with them( yap 7 here no doubt :P)

[@KendrixTermina]

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. its not that hammers are useless, its that there are a few things in the world that arent nails. Or well. That is what I would like to hope.

[@charitysbizarre4365]

I have identified with both type 5 and type 6 and I wasn't sure which was the dominant and which was the wing until this video - I'm sitting here crying after Abby told me I'm not a burden. I HATE having to ask anyone for help. Thank you Abby!

[@clarissaromez6045]

Type 1 here and this is spot on! I usually go to Disney and this recalibrates me like nothing else, finding my inner child

[@marieschmidt9416]

This is the 1st Abbey video that I question as not being a great explanation. It is ok good but misses a few marks. For instance, type 1's are not passive aggressive. They are very honest, truthful,& with a lot of integrity. They get irritated but not passive aggressive. But I absolutely love the Abbey videos!

[@CareFreeCommuting]

(2:22) “A lot of stuff…” is like such a 9 way of putting something :) The advice is dead on for us 9s, and I find that I create rituals to do better on my “achievement(s)” but if I keep the rituals the same too long it’s like a form of “numbing out…” Thanks again

[@mestimac]

The 8s excess is often just literally excess, not control. Tons of projects. Lots of goals. I'm married to one. I feel my future free time slipping away every time he mentions a new idea.

[@cmpicha2934]

This was really good and I enjoyed listening to all of the types here! Yeah... I've recently become more aware of my impatience/anger/resentment. I don't like it. At first when I noticed it, I just got more mad at myself for feeling those things, and I didn't realize how often I felt them day-to-day. A couple days ago I got to work and made it known how frustrated I was with everything that went wrong before going to work (tire problems). I then immediately turned to our volunteer who doesn't know me very well and apologized to him for having to see that version of me. I think I was more mad at the situation than myself in that case, but definitely still some discomfort with my anger. (I should clarify it's not like I exploded or anything - I simply explained what happened, but based on my tone it wouldn't have been hard for anyone to tell I was frustrated. Yet I still felt bad about expressing that.) I was also recently reminded that it's ok to be angry sometimes, because it just means I'm human with emotions. This helps to an extent, but I struggle to see where to draw the line between that and giving into anger in a way that's "bad".

[@CreativeOrange]

Have you heard of defence mechanisms? I think for me I use Intellectualisation, isolation or reaction formation. I think learning about defense mechanisms has a link to the Enneagram. - INTJ 135 sp/o

[@AbbeyHowe]

Yes, I love exploring those!! Good idea for a future video.

[@ozzymandias90]

My friend, you are sounding like an Enneagram 5 with those sorts of defense mechanisms. I too am an INTJ.

[@leenbee17]

For so long, I thought I was a 4 or maybe a 2 but I think that I'm actually a 9. Some confrontations at work showed me that keeping the peace is so important to me and putting others first. Sleeping at Last's Nine is my absolute favourite song!!!

[@AmyRAgner]

Abbey, you are great at this! I watched your video on finding your Enneagram & it was painfully obvious that I’m a Type 1.😬 I’m having so much fun with ALL of your videos learning about myself, my husband, my children, and my extended family! Thank you.❤️

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

Working with Type 1s I totally agree on them seeing their inner child again, the crazy, silly, fun children inside all of us :). What do you think? :)

[@AbbeyHowe]

100%!!!

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

@@AbbeyHowe Let's help them do this Abbey, you with your energetic personality, and me, well, with my energetic personality :p

[@lisagarcia8967]

I’ve been struggling at work recently and this was just what I needed to hear. I’m a type 8 and do not like to show my vulnerability to ANYONE. I don’t want anyone to know I have struggles too, but it makes me hard to relate to sometimes. I’m learning to release some control of things to others, but this has been very difficult. Work in progress. Thank you for this video!

[@marciyoung2217]

I am so glad you addressed this! I think it is so important to look at our strengths and our weaknesses and how to harness them both best for our health. I have studied these and it is so interesting how this plays out with each type. I am a six with a very strong five wing and see how both of these weaknesses play out in my life. I have had to work so hard to fight against anxiety and feeling like a burden. Long walks and amazes friends have been the biggest blessing in my life. As I have learned with the enneagram, our biggest strength can all be out biggest challenge. And what we see as our biggest weakness can also lead to (or support) our biggest strengths.

[@cmtm5108]

Because of you I appreciate the enneagram 3 a lot more and am glad that it's apart of my 9 wing (if that wing lines are included)

[@duckducktender]

Thanks!

[@rosenate6289]

Abbey, thanks for your wonderful videos. I have watched them for a while and they have really helped me reflect and understand myself and others as I have faced challenging circumstances. I just hope you find ways to take breaks and see the good in yourself because as much as I love your content, your mental health and well-being is always the most important thing. Take care of yourself, for your subscribers, for your loved ones, but really, more than anything, for yourself. Also, I don't mean for any of this to sound condescending or like I know everything going on in your life or that I have all the answers because I don't. I don't know you personally, I don't really know much, I can just see how you are a little burnt out -- like you said --- and I also know your enneagram type well. I just mean, given the little I know and also given how much I like you because of your content/because your a human being, I hope you treat yourself the way you treat us, your fans. Take time for yourself unapologetically. You deserve it because your a person and therefore need breaks (:

[@jennfischetto]

This is so succinct. I'm so glad I found your channel. 💚

[@Avionne_Parris]

I cringed all the way through type 4, I guess I found my type :-) And yes, that ENVY game is so strong! I've realised that deleting social media accounts is a 4w5 rite of passage as I too have done the same, no regrets. I only have KZbin for commenting and Pinterest for pinning my writing inspirations. Great video, Abs! Now, I gotta go find a type 1, type 3, or type 8 friend to help me schedule a routine (kinda struck out at home: mother's a type 9, sister's a type 6, brother's a type 5, and nephew's a type 8 - but he's four!). I know Abs mentioned type 6 but my sis isn't the most organised person lolz.

[@NoiseDay]

I'm a type 4 and haven't watched the vid yet and the moment you mentioned routine, I died inside This is my fatal flaw and my only hope wrapped into one

[@betternamecame]

Me, a 9: You didn’t need to call me out like that

[@bethanythatsme]

I'm a neurodivergent 4w5 & holy mackerel, the envy is real (thank you for making the distinction between jealously.) in an unhealthy mental place, it can feel like such resentment. One thing that has really helped is deleting all my social media accounts. That may sound drastic, but my noggin can't resist the temptation of comparison.

[@AbbeyHowe]

deleting social media is probably the HEALTHIEST thing you can do for yourself! 👏 to you

[@bethanythatsme]

@@AbbeyHowe thank you 😊

[@paulmatson661]

I really enjoyed this video, Abbey! It's so fascinating how we can leverage our weaknesses as strengths, by understanding how the two are connected. I feel it provides an avenue of healing by showing us that there's a clear way forward, that our flaws don't have to isolate us. We can find the light in the dark, so to speak. Thank you also for sharing a bit of your own struggles. I feel Threes are such a dynamic and positive force that some other types (like me, a Nine) can sometimes be unaware of the struggles they face. It's so heartening to hear that we aren't alone in our trials, even if they may be very different from one another. We may face different challenges, but we are united in the experience. My wife is also a Three, and it means the world to me when she can open up and share her worries and I can encourage her with gentle words and cuddles. I introduced her to your channel, and she thinks you're just delightful! Thank you for being such a cheerleader in the world, Abbey. Your compassion, enthusiasm, and catalyzing energy-not to mention your brilliant comedic timing-make your videos such a fount of encouragement and humanity. May you always find the rest you need. Oh, and your nails are gorgeous!

[@justinwhite2725]

9: Sloth.... I felt that.

[@owlman3529]

Wednesday I had an oral exam, I was the first one to pass, except that when the teacher asked me the first question and I didn't see what he was getting at, my head was blank, second question, I forgot the rest of my answer, I was stressing, I told myself that it would be a loss of points, and that I might have to go to a make-up exam, which I did NOT WANT. The teacher told me to come back later. I had isolated myself because the others were criticizing me and didn't want to understand my change in behavior. I was trying to breathe normally, my body was shaking... The person in charge came to me afterwards and told me that we were in the same boat and that I shouldn't cry. She said that it was just a note and that I was going to make up for it. No, we didn't have the same motivation, I couldn't see myself failing, failing is impossible for me, I don't want people to see me as a failure, if I passed I would consider myself a failure. These grades could help me reach my goal and I can't fail or I'll feel vulnerable... Finally I got the best grade with another one. I use the Te + Fi combo, I have a 5 and 8 in my tritype, VLFE, leo venus and virgo sun. I don't know if the type 3 is my hand or not, but the song of sleeping at last made me cry the first time and i relate to the song of Marina: are you satisfied and oh no.

[@jillmappin3316]

Great description of what sets the enneagram apart.

[@AbbeyHowe]

thanks Jill!

[@briankayaker1]

I’m and 8 through and through. I’ve done a lot of work on myself for the sake of the people close to me and I now consider myself pretty easy going. I’ve also compensated for potential vulnerabilities by being ultra prepared/ by never actually putting myself in a situation where I’m in some sort of danger without the tools needed to get myself out of said danger. I do my best to live a life that has nothing to hide and so I’m able to be emotionally very open. Is there truly benefit in taking risks beyond my tools and abilities? I struggle to make sense of it but I’m open to adding vulnerability to my toolbox if it’s really worthwhile🤔

[@sondigross5019]

Most helpful! Thank you. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@Someguy8047]

Sometimes other people helping can be overwhelming for a five. Depending on how stressed the five is you may want to ease into offering help and take it slow.

[@mwatson4970]

Thanks for posting Abbey! Just had some really stressful travel plan changes, and your vids always encourage me. Hope the topics you cover encourage u too ❤!

[@AbbeyHowe]

They definitely encourage me!! It’s like therapy haha. ♥️ wishing you well!!

[@pelegtop]

as a fellow enneagram type 3 student and teacher, allow me to offer an important correction to your language - i heard you say on several occasions that “the enneagram will show us what’s good and bad about our personality” - good or bad are a judgmental way of describing the enneagram- i tend to use “healthy and healthy” instead. big difference don’t you think?

[@AbbeyHowe]

Healthy and healthy?

[@pelegtop]

@@AbbeyHowe sorry - healthy and unhealthy...

[@brookeb6772]

Thank you for this video