How to Improve Your Relationship - Tools for Communication, Conflict Resolution, and More

[@mjgayle52]

Married 40 years - first rule = listening is a more important skill than talking

[@DaveSabol]

Not quite at 40, but heading toward 20 in a month or so and I can't agree more. Always on point, Tim!

[@catthebeautyhunter]

I'm struggling in a year long relationship (after the end of a 7 year) and think it was Esther Perel in an interview that said something along the lines of "the one who thinks they're a good listener, usually isn't." It made me reflect on myself and my tendency to listen terribly to my partner because I'm busy planning the next thing I'm going to say--defensive or not. It's incredibly difficult to listen with true openness and thoughtfulness (especially when you feel like the other isn't listening either) but it seems like a critical thing to practice and get down. Do you (or anyone reading this!) have any tips on how to become a better listener yourself and as a couple?

[@mjgayle52]

@@catthebeautyhunter what a great question - i am certainly no expert - i will say two things (1) when i find myself waiting for the other person to stop talking so that i can have my say that is no longer a conversation it is an argument (2) the more positive thought i have is that i try to listen such that i can formulate good follow up questions so that i can more clearly and deeply understand the other

[@catthebeautyhunter]

@@mjgayle52 Thanks for responding! That's an interesting way of determining what the conversation is (just that or an argument). I have gotten better about asking follow up questions but must not phrase them very well or something...he often gets angry by them because he feels like if I'd heard him I wouldn't need to clarify or follow up 🤦‍♀️😅

[@mjgayle52]

@@catthebeautyhunter sometimes guys view questions as a prelude to a trap (imagine being on trial and being questioned by the prosecution)...try letting the situation calm down and question him later in a more relaxed setting...and of course your boyfriend could have anger issues (i do) and he could be a jerk (hope not)

[@Flandernify]

The 4 Hour Relationships finally showing up!!!

[@west1919]

Would love it to happen, although I think the "4-hour" title would be a somewhat unfortunate choice in this context lol. Also, Idk if Tim would necessarily want to speak much on it, as in this regard he appears to rely quite heavily on the various teachers and tools mentioned in this video (which is a 100% valid approach - in some areas you're more likely to take on the role of the teacher, in other areas you're more likely to take on that of the learner) instead of being on the forefront of models describing relationship dynamics and social psychology.

[@christensantschi]

😆😆😆❤️❤️❤️

[@manzur31]

loving this small nuggets! Please do more short videos like this.

[@sunset5461]

When tim is having an argument with his girlfriend he whips out his brene brown book and starts frantically flipping through the pages.

[@alexmaximizingtime]

Love these practical tools and book suggestions. Thanks for sharing.

[@nathenhoang]

Tim Ferriss has changed my life for the better 🔥

[@moshefabrikant1]

Listening is more important then talking 1:35 Question your beliefs 3:28 Non violent communication. Care about what others need. And ask yourself what you are willing to giveaway

[@astrobot702]

3 years or 3 months, it's all the same. It's straightforward: 1. Put what you want in words. 2. Be okay with a compromise THAT WORKS 50/50, 60/40, as long as it absolutely clear and reciprocal 3. Be objective. She might suck as dishes, you might not. You might suck at being affectionate, she might not. 4. When you have something important to say, always look at them with the same eyes as you did the first time you laid eyes on them. Subconsciously, they'll be more receptive than finger pointing and too be honest (life is to short to worry about dishes, make it your thing, be the most impeccable dishwashing dude ever. Pop in the earbuds, get that body moving, have your glass of wine. Learn a language while.doing the dishes,, or stream some Baywatch. Trust me, you'll have to fight her to do the dishes. At the end of the day be completely honest with what you want and your character, you don't have change yourself, but you do have to learn to appreciate having the opportunity to have these constructive conversations. You both get to build a wonderful relationship for as long as you both can keep it.

[@nicolas-pt6py]

Me, not in a relationship: ✍🏼uh huh✍🏼 yes✍🏼okay✍🏼totally✍🏼

[@blameese]

We need to see that girlfriend (Unless she doesn’t want to be seen).🤗

[@garrettk7166]

I think she does not want to be seen. That's the vibe I've gotten from Tim (and I think he's mentioned it on one of his podcasts). They keep their relationship quite private.

[@people235]

One thing I've learned in life is that the things that are precious and special, to keep them private and unexploited.

[@albertmatttheis94]

Did you record all of these in the same day or do u put the yellow shirt on and go to the same spot every day? asking for my dad

[@fortunatelebelo259]

😂

[@jx3376]

Awesome timing for me with this upload. Thank you.

[@jeambo]

Why captions are not avaliable for video? I’m not native speaker. I need a captions

[@hennerbruch6627]

Yeah thank you so much. I love Nonviolent communication. Helped me so much, especially going to NVC online festivals

[@shahardagan9778]

me too! changed my life!

[@jessmason2112]

See this is why I can't get involved with anyone with issues. They need to be mentally, emotionally, and financially stable.(not 50K in credit card debt). It's just been too much of a rough road in my life.

[@shahardagan9778]

NVC is soooo great, changed my life and my relationships, everywhere. Since Corona started there is even an online festival and I just love sucking all this knowledge from the best teachers on the planet :) Thanks Tim for mentioning this.

[@patrickblumenthal5413]

How many videos did tim shoot that day?^^

[@bushidopiratecrew]

"Batching" from 4 Hour Work Week. Tim is hyper-productive for sure.

[@Mokkel73]

What t-shirt are you wearing? Love it!

[@thetruthwillsetyoufree9209]

'My Girlfriend'...wow. three years 🌟

[@Gigusx]

The questions / statements you tell and ask of yourself to change your frame around the situation is also something he described to a point in his interview with Greg McKeown in one of the latest episodes. You can probably find a timestamp in the show notes for the exact minute.

[@fortunatelebelo259]

He is so cute ❤️I’m here for the voice 🙃

[@Streetdancegirl85]

I love listening to your podcast. I think you are particularly well at active listening. Hence, I was wondering if you have any resources on how to become a better active listener?

[@rpersaud562]

I hear his girlfriend lives in Canada....

[@evgeniiakomelkova1852]

Timmie, you are on fire today, love you.

[@SheriffofYouTube]

How did a KZbinr become an expert on relationships if they were too busy following Googles new format, just hearing youtubers talk makes me want to revolt

[@fabianvela6077]

So... Basically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

[@jz5005]

I like the ‘Hi All’ intro better that ‘Boys & girls....’.

[@luyahroz9313]

Very insightful Tim thanks brother I will implement this to see the results!

[@thetruthwillsetyoufree9209]

Tim looks so much better than with s silly cap

[@mattkiernanmkp]

Batch

[@rothbardfreedom]

Watching Tim Ferris videos in 2x together is a good strategy.

[@GamingDad]

You want me to die?

[@Gigusx]

Implementing anything he says is an even better strategy.

[@Priya_edup]

Where to meet conscious people for dating ?

[@chriswong8659]

We need The 4 Hour Love book

[@NunoCordeiroPT]

Tim's all about efficiency. The book *has* to be called "The 4 minute lover".

[@EMPOWA]

your podcast with esther perel first introduced me to her work! love her perspective

[@troytalbot5746]

Did you record all of these in the past, and distribute them a segment at a time? Or, record them with the same shirt at the same spot in that park each time? :)

[@blameese]

Speaking from experience...he probably has several of the same/similar shirts. 😂

[@vaildog1]

This is Tim Ferris...he hired a VA in the Philippines to wear a motion capture suit and mapped the data to a 3D model. The dialogue was generated by GPT-3 fed by the four hour work week. And that’s why we love him

[@troytalbot5746]

@@vaildog1 Exactly what I was thinking!

[@bushidopiratecrew]

@@vaildog1 Even better than my "batching" hypothesis.

[@emileriksen2481]

Not one of your best videoes tim.

[@ameysharma7407]

Who's here after Bill and Melinda's breakup news

[@blameese]

Wait wat?!

[@nelsoncassoma1480]

Very nice and useful!!!

[@stefball]

I can’t tell if Tim’s speaking extemporaneously or if he’s using a teleprompter. What do you think? 🤔

[@uzoo-wg4ko]

The work really works all relationship

[@ethanperri7]

Thanks Tim, always on point

[@diegomontalvo9173]

no mms el Facundo

[@markg5986]

Thank you.

[@scottwible1532]

DuckLips

[@shainn2237]

M

[@shainn2237]

.

[@brassmarsh]

"Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida 😉