How to Keep a Relationship Going

[@cursedwaffle]

remember to continuously improve yourself as a person even when you're in a relationship. never stop growing. a note to self.

[@maxoconnor5087]

this is so true

[@The-Athenian]

Comments like yours make me realise the world is growing more mature.

[@quimblyjones9767]

Yup yup. And if they aren't trying to improve themselves or, glob forbid, making you do all the improvement then maybe look elsewhere. Out of almost 8 billion people, you only need one.

[@beatrizcansado8080]

That’s very important.

[@apktatboy]

Very true. I think a lot of us have experienced this and lost ourselves temporarily in a relationship that didn't last. Will never happen again.

[@devxshish]

“There is no perfect. There will always be struggle. You just have to pick who you want to struggle with.” ❤️

[@demetranikandrou5650]

❤️❤️

[@SV-dd4bt]

With your hand bro.

[@beisiknikneimas]

This ! ✨✨✨

[@kshiprabhandari]

aw yesss a Before You Go quote!

[@rudigruenberg6591]

Real life is a disspointment

[@nicojoshuas]

how to keep a relationship going: communication and kindness

[@cassiecc1811]

Communication, kindness and respect

[@guitardaddy6]

Gross. No. That's how to simp

[@chrisherrera8384]

Polarity*

[@szarekhostwind]

@@guitardaddy6 being kind is a simp? do you have fragile masculinity?

[@rpgilagamedev4839]

Thats hard when you are the only one who did that

[@thaisoceanos]

As a marine biologist, I just wanted to share how much I love the design this time too!!!

[@firitus]

This reminded me of George Costanza 😂 greetings, fellow biologist🙋🏻‍♀️

[@bosej.2621]

@@firitus you wouldn't happen to be an architect too 🤣

[@firitus]

@@bosej.2621 Have you heard about the Guggenheim?🤣

[@andymath89]

The fishies are so cute, OMG

[@robosing225]

how do you make your money as a marine biologist ma'am? I'm interested

[@nunofarizo]

0:23 Overoptimism About Relationships 1:07 Out of Touch with Pain 1:52 Shame 2:46 Excessive Anxiety 3:32 Excessive Pride 4:30 Hopelessness about Dialogue Thank you school of life!

[@sarahleewatson]

Thank you for the outline!

[@brunayamaguchi9664]

Thank you for the timestamps!

[@Maheshwarkhetan]

These are things to be avoided, right? 😅

[@abro99]

We had all of them in my past relationship, now I can see I also had my share. Every child should be taught these in high school.

[@j.m9189]

Thank you Nuno

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

When it comes to fighting the biggest lesson I've learnt is; it's not me vs you, it's us vs the problem.

[@banana19934]

I love this

[@IGarrettI]

Tough when your partner is immature and keeps seeing it as me Vs you , even when you point out it's about us

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@IGarrettI That is a tough one. Maybe it's worth figuring out how important this is to you and if it's a deal breaker express that to your partner, give them however much time you want to change their actions, and if they don't then you know it's time to go since they've broken a core value of yours. I've been in a similar situation and it's really hard man, hope some of that helps.

[@IGarrettI]

@@TakeBackYourMind997 thanks man. We agreed to break up. in a civil way we pointed out things we disliked and would like the other to improve on. It's been a month and it hasn't changed on my partner's end. It's tough cuz we live together and having so many things and no driving license, and tough to find an affordable place to live by my self

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@IGarrettI I'm sorry it didn't work out but respect for making the tough decision, that's a hard thing to do. I guess all you can do with that other stuff is compartmentalise it, come up with your best possible next move and accept anything that's out of your control. Easier said than done but you've done the most difficult part already!

[@MichelleC50]

The only pearls of wisdom I have is what I've learned myself. My hubby and I have been married for 12 years now. Many ups and downs. We both are committed to each other, meaning our relationship can only survive and thrive if we both work at it. Each of us change as we get older either by choice or nature. Choose to fall in love with your partner at every stage of your life. Goodness knows you're not the same person you were a decade ago. Choose each other every day and you stand a damn good chance of making it ♥

[@spennny1000]

I've been I a 15 year relationship.... honesty is the key

[@Leo-mr1qz]

I also have been married over a decade (13 years), and I agree with your thoughts. I think the challenges get different, more complex, and time consuming as our family of 5 grows together and up. Taking the time to see my husband each and every day, the way he needs to be seen that day, has been a helpful and useful tool in our commitment and growth as a couple. As a mother of 3 small children, he, as the only male in the house, can get lost in the shuffle of life at times, Making the time for each other each day is a priority I try to keep up.

[@pablita1904]

[@eliasbautista2687]

Is lying a deal breaker? If you have time can you please reply I want to know.

[@michaelh6014]

The woman I loved and who I thought of as my wife to be , mother of my children went out and spent bread on a ring i really didn't have took initiative to go to her parents and grandparents for a blessing and gave the ring to her a day before valentine's day because she had to work but I took her out to the beach and done it there watched her cry and felt a warm embrace knowing we were locked in been on this roller coaster for 3 years having ups and downs like we all do the the person we choose to have in our lives. I just found out she has been speaking with other boys not guys or men because I see her as wife to be and such not just another quickie like these others do . She'd been talking with them and putting out via social media as I lay with her, caress her , kiss her , and love her tell her she's beautiful day in night out and how I look forward to elevating with her . This action has caused a big fault line even with her fam because they think of me as their own. If You know you know. Keep in mind i am not perfect but I have crossed THAT line its not me not in me . I wish her well I do I fall in love with this woman day in night out l even especially after a disagreement because I see it as us growing . but this ... This I wish i would've known 3 years ago this would come into play💔. One love y'all stay positive no matter what 🤙🏾!

[@NickNotas]

What matters most is that both parties know that the other person is deeply invested in growing the relationship. That provides the security for us to be vulnerable and navigate the tough conversations more productively. We don’t assume they have bad intentions, work through it as a team, and become much closer because of it.

[@phoebeel]

Yes! It's important to have a conversation about how serious both partners are about growing and evolving the relationship. About promising each other to stick to it even when first fights arise

[@hgzmatt]

Sounds great in theory and I agree.. the problem is just all the bad stuff that keeps happening to us.. it makes it really hard to trust. So far love has only lead to pain.

[@fruitXpebbles]

I'm not sure how to ask my partner if we are on the same page and that breaks my heart

[@Jackgritty28]

conflict and squabble, trust issues, unfair treatment, offended by neglect⛔🚩🆘💲✅

[@fredrogers9996]

The thumb's up number was at 666 so I made it 667 my good deed 4 the day😂

[@DawnPeacock]

I actually get along with my husband like a dream. We always lift each other up and support each other, enjoy each other immensely and basically smile and laugh all the time. 12 years married and no fighting, resentment or bickering. Just joy!

[@albinobeach]

That makes me wonder... no conflict? Sounds like you guys are in la la land

[@rpgilagamedev4839]

One week without a fight is ridicolous. 12 years? Spoil the secret.

[@Shagley]

So you married your cousin then

[@KayKayshaw]

@@DawnPeacock How did you know he is the right person for you??

[@DawnPeacock]

@@KayKayshaw I sometimes wonder HOW we knew we loved each other. I don't know how we knew it, we just felt it...and only after I'd been with him for some time, I could make you a list of the reasons he's perfect for me.

[@LuminaryRain]

True love is about caring, not taking; It's about service to others, not service to self. What I can share - not just regarding relationships, but about interpersonal issues in general - is that whenever you feel something negative (that is not the direct result of physical pain) - not just in the context of human interaction - it's actually caused by a fear. It is very helpful to thoroughly think about this statement: Find the underlying fear(s) -> solve the problem(s) within yourself -> evolve. In the process of growing up, one has to learn to overcome their fears, with the ultimate goal in mind to be in a constant state of love; to become love - the opposite of fear.

[@EclecticTingz]

💕🤙🏽

[@MASTEROOOO]

i think I fell in love with you saying that!

[@x2y3a1j5]

All that is indeed very useful at the beginning. But when your partner consistently dismiss your remarks about *their* own behaviors/attitudes that are hurting you, then it is a very different thing altogether. So, my contribution to complete your rational, kind advise here would be to analyse carefully what exactly, when you’re having negative feelings, belong entirely to things that you can modify or accommodate on your own (maybe tone down your views on X or Y, maybe concede that your partner has indeed a point or two and work on those points) and what belongs to your partner or to the both of you.

[@LuminaryRain]

@@x2y3a1j5 True. Being fearless is only beneficial if one is capable of thinking and acting logically, as well... However, love not only is the greatest force in existence, it's the only thing that truly matters.

[@x2y3a1j5]

@@LuminaryRain Yes, I agree. As you said, Love is a force. It therefore follows that this force of Love must be used wisely. For Love can destroy you too, when you believe in it blindly and give it unconditionally to your partner, who instead treats you miserably and, in the end, discards you without any regards nor remorse once s/he has sucked out everything they could from you. The force of Love is best used to better a relationship (including towards oneself) and spared for others, later in life, when the current partner does not care nor appreciates it. There are some very sneaky cruel narcissistics out there and they just love to prey on people who are sensitive and believe in Love. There’s nothing against Love and keeping your eyes open. “Blind” Love is a terribly destroying and toxic experience. It should be called by its clearer name, Infatuation. That’s not real Love. Greetings, Luminary Rain.

[@amruthanand1330]

Being a person who's never been in a relationship for 22 years. This channel gives me a lot of think about how I should ever go about it if I do.

[@ugastronomie1237]

I'm 22 too

[@Amina088]

It definitely helps. I discovered this channel soon after breaking up for the first time at 18. Throughout the 4 years after that, I spent time learning love while having concepts in the School of Life on my mind eg. how childhood affects everyone, how romanticism can ruin love, how physical intimacy isn't just physical, and how our partner - no matter how great and perfect they seem at first - will turn out not so perfect after all. Then, at 22, I started being in a committed relationship again. This time I handle things much more maturely. Having understood these insights prior to starting this relationship, I could gradually console myself by letting my emotional self catch up with my intellectual self. Meg Jay, a psychologist who gave a wonderful TED talk titled "Why 30s is not the new 20s," said that "The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one." And I couldn't agree more. It's about knowing yourself, what you need from a partner, how much are you willing to compromise, and what you cannot compromise, that lead to choosing a partner wisely and being able to grow together with the person we choose. I pray that you will one day meet the person you want to choose to grow together. :) Really wish you all the best!

[@desi1844]

You think you can learn about real life experiences based on KZbin videos!! Lmao Good luck mate

[@automobili2801]

@@desi1844 yes

[@kimyongun5471]

@@automobili2801 no you cant mate:)

[@PranjalRahman]

Relationships are all about making the effort to commit and actually communicate. We must express what is on our mind and we must listen to each other.

[@rosettesionne9139]

I think that one thing that kills a relationship is the inability to handle conflict constructively. Most people I know tends either to avoid or react violently to difficulties instead of calming down and openly talking about it. They tend to avoid the problem instead of confronting it and inevitably the problem will grow and will become difficult to manage. I believe that if couples learns to express each others feelings in an open way and listen without judging then most communication problem would had been avoided.

[@Alice_Walker]

Yes, one of the most important things I've learnt about navigating conflict is that it's about approaching it as "us vs the problem" rather than "me vs you" Conflict handled this way has tended to bring me closer to my partners and increase closeness and understanding.

[@azaliahangulo]

When he said "excessive anxiety" I thought he was going to talk about people with an anxiety disorder. I'm glad it didn't go that route because I feel people who have anxiety can still be in healthy relationships. As long as the partner with anxiety can communicate what they are feeling and the other partner can listen and is able to provide emotional support.

[@njux1871]

i have a generalized anxiety disorder and have been in a relationship for well over a year now. it's oftentimes like a tornado but we can make it so much smaller by just talking about it (which still took me months with some things).

[@stagefish41]

I’ve been in a relationship with my best friend for 7 years now but I have really bad anxiety, it takes a lot to nit twist shit like a pretzel in my own head but I’m definitely working on it and I’m super fortunate to have a really understanding partner

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

Do one on that "relationship anxiety" we've been hearing a lot about

[@cheche5172]

Perhaps you could share an article here until a video is made 🤗

[@YanaPetruk]

Yeah! Totally!!

[@fgt2078]

Relationship anxiety is my downfall :(

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@@fgt2078 I'm sorry :( My ex broke up with me 7 months ago because she was feeling that way, it still hurts

[@Calamacow]

@@AbsurdExistentialistI know this comment is like 2 years old, just wanted to say hope your doing well.

[@vinnyyep4853]

When your relationship is about to end and this video comes up bruh-

[@squirclequir1800]

Bruh

[@ishihayahajimagumpara9266]

Bruh same ahhahahah

[@pelicanntuli1662]

😭

[@madefromstardust2250]

Legit me, we were so close to breaking up yesterday after a rather great 6 months.

[@monikkkk2124]

Bruh same 😂😂😂

[@jewris.art11]

As a member of the single population, I'm glad that I have time to keep a close relationship with myself. 😊

[@amando96]

Both the easiest and the hardest because you have nothing to mirror yourself back to yourself. Self-development in a vacuum could be more dangerous than codependency.

[@paksta]

I have found a commitment to kindly learning about one another is a good one. Whatever you do, learn. Nobody is a perfect fit, but over time you can grow to care for each other in more and more ways that matter to each other. After a while, the relationship feels like it 'fits' and you too have grown. Plus remember, you will grow into different people over time anyway, so you need to constantly learn about who each other is becoming. If the other person (or you) is not willing to learn about their partner, I think that might be a good sign that it won't last.

[@lilacblue3331]

This is beautiful 🖤🖤🖤

[@ninacueva3828]

Thank you for this invaluable insight.

[@paksta]

@@plingolinoplong3954 That's tough. My advice would be to think pragmatically about what is really needed to be known. Imagine you're considering investing into a start-up business with a partner, but you don't know their thoughts on the mission, the company values, or what the growth plans are. (Or whatever else is a deal-breaker for you). Obviously that's a problem for long term success. Compare that to the control, excitement and trust that builds when people openly share and develop those values, goals and strategic steps as fair and equal partners. The business would not only have a good chance of success, but the process is likely to be more thrilling and enjoyable. You ride both the highs and lows as a team, building experience and strength together. So yeah, each can choose what they would like to share and both can decide if it's sufficient to make a partnership.

[@Aced_Dreamer]

🕊🕊

[@rampagedingo]

I think constant communication and creativity goes a long way in making relationships last long. Creativity is important in terms of finding creative solutions to problems and in terms of being romantic or showing appreciation to one another once in a while. It's a way of communicating to your significant other that you love them.

[@ProdeBird]

My 7 years long relationship has just come to an end, and now I see we checked so many boxes on the fragile couple list of this video...

[@blakebloomer687]

I’ve been in a relationship for about 2 and a half months, we have many mature conversations about the kind of situations. It is very healthy to focus on yourself, do not make a relationship everything.

[@lynettecaballero1660]

Selfishness is the #1 relationship killer. The things we work hard for ,we value the most. It takes integrity,Accountability,responsibility,understanding,good authentic communication,not taking things so personally and negative( a complaint is really a desire for being better.These and Being othercentered,not selfcentered builds trust and true Love.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

And a spacebar

[@andrewraslan5348]

Funnily enough, that's not true. Many of the myths around relationships have been introduced into the culture by desperately needy/anxious people who never feel they get enough. Selfishness is, in fact, that #1 thing that sustains your happiness in a relationship, and fuels you to support your partner/parent/child/friend - as long as it's the SMART kind of selfish. Which is expressing what you need, taking what you want, not staying where you're not appreciated, and then using the energy you got to give back :)

[@andrewraslan5348]

Furthermore, being "other-centred" is almost without exception a passive-aggressive way of giving with a price tag - you do everything you can to keep your partner/parent/child/friend/sibling etc. happy, but with the unspoken expectation that they owe you for every little gesture. Which is entitlement. That's different from smart-selfish, where you take what you need and give what they ask freely, without any hidden "contracts" that "other-centred" people usually create because they feel they can't get love directly.

[@Un1234l]

@@andrewraslan5348 No, you're just spinning things. While it definitely can turn to be that way, other-centered typically and overwhelmingly means genuinely feeling caring and charitable, empathetic, to others. It's like how you can spin not spending much money as either being frugal, stingy, financially-wise, cheap, broke. Depends on the details, devil and all yadayada.

[@algo98algo]

@@Un1234l exactly

[@ethanielclyne5810]

I'm 20 months into a great relationship and we've never properly argued in person, but when we eventually do that's life and it happens

[@Wael.13]

That's a possibility. but you might be both mature enough, that you know how to deflect small conflict between each other.

[@njux1871]

@@Wael.13 Until you live together. :b The closer you get, the more likely an argument is.

[@sonyavincent7450]

Update?

[@JP-vw8fp]

Wish I was aware of these things before I let my last relationship deteriorate. Thanks for the informative video as always.

[@trevorwhaley3780]

This

[@KayKayshaw]

Haha sameee

[@Lisey_Ann]

Same 😔

[@MikeJackson690]

Same here

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Can you get it back

[@izstrella]

Does anybody else feel like they are in a constant state of preparing for times that will never come? Whether it be for a relationship, or success as a content creator, or even just how to be the “life of the party”...I feel as though I spend so much time studying for the what-ifs and how to do well when I get there that I never actually take steps towards getting there. An endless cycle of hoping, preparing, then feeling not good enough to start. I need to work on this, but I’m not sure how. I guess I’ll figure it out...maybe there’s a video for that too...

[@cookiegirl891]

You gotta actually just go for it

[@prettynderanged]

I also struggle with this . If you figure out a way let me know lol

[@kcollier5626]

Youre just scared and lazy. Go out there and dont overthink it. Grab the low hanging fruit first

[@user-ro1cc8tz6d]

Stop watching youtube and touch grass. Most of these videos will only cause fear in you

[@raykarpp]

I read a book that talked about those sorts of things, make a plan for what you are wanting to do or accomplish and act on that plan, it doesn't have to be a great plan, but you need to have one to start, once you start, to reach your goal you probably won't get there following the plan you first made, the plan you first make is just there to get you started and going in the right direction, then life and opportunities will follow and the plan will naturally change and you work with it and embrace learning on the way, always say your goal/s to yourself everyday, write it down, dig it into your head so it becomes a part of you and you don't lose sight of it and keep going. I may not have worded that very well, I hope you understand. And if anyone's curious the book is called The Slight Edge, you can watch some videos briefly explaining it, im not very good at explaining things

[@HopefulTribe]

"Fragile couples"--I've never heard couples described in this way before. Nice!

[@olitomar]

I've been binge watching These videos... My relationship is hanging by a thread. It's probably the first healthy relationship I've ever been in. My shame and pride have put it on the brink.

[@IncuriusCognito]

Dude you just life once, take a step and swallow your pride whatever comes out you'll be glad that you've done it

[@nuthead8888]

Saaaame

[@lowlife5011]

relatable af.

[@olitomar]

@@IncuriusCognito thanks for the tip mang. it's hard for me. 1 year later we're still going forward

[@IncuriusCognito]

@@olitomar good for you mate, im happy for u

[@alicecoppers8980]

As a therapist I often find that couples do not know how to forgive and regain trust. Most of us haven’t learned from our parents how to do this. The other thing is young people think that they are entitled to yelling and screaming at someone when they’re mad. Like a three year old it doesn’t solve anything except make the relationship more difficult. More difficult a relationship becomes the quicker people leave.

[@samzeitein]

Your words are so true.

[@samzeitein]

Do you have any suggestions, How to change this kind of mentality?! I would really love to know.

[@andrewraslan5348]

The last part ^ Western culture became contaminated with the idea that we must always be "authentic" and "vulnerable", as if there's no reason the words "petulant", "childish" and "immature" are: a). Completely negative in meaning and b). Descriptive exactly of a lack of emotional self-sufficiency and self-control To be adult is to be in control, more than anything else of yourself.

[@da-zp5xe]

@@andrewraslan5348 seems like you struggle with shame and pride, maybe you should rewatch the video

[@clutchjs122]

@@da-zp5xeMay I add heavily to that?

[@foreignlovedreams]

From my life experience I have some romantic tips: 1. Think of Your Partner 2. Practice Touching and Make It a Game 3. Spend Time Together 4. Surprise Them With a Creative Gift 5. Mute, Switch Off, and Disconnect When it’s just the two of you, focus on each other.

[@RahilDamerla]

Word of advice to the reader: If He/She does you wrong Do them right You’ll feel better about yourself and if He/She is the one They’ll see it too. Have a great day

[@Sympathomemetic]

Nah. equal rights!!

[@judiciallawacademy.3938]

School of Life makes me feel sane. Each time I go away with a feeling a gratitude knowing I am heading in the right direction ♥️♥️♥️

[@Death2llorts]

It’s funny how I saw this in passing around when I feel like my relationship was becoming rough and it was because I didn’t take the time to really evaluate why I felt the way I did and misattributed my unhappiness to the relationship… I closed myself off to the things I could do better but I don’t want to make the mistake again with anyone.

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

Message him on wh @ tsapp

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

✝ 2349015122652⏭⏭

[@okirue]

Cool, I just learned I might have a fragile relationship with my partner.

[@Brian_Moser1118]

whether you're single or dating, hats off to you for watching.

[@lucasrocha845]

The school of life has also taught about the dangers of romantiscm, which is deeply related to being overoptimistic about relationships. I have a very romantic partner and it's very difficult to lower her expectations about our relationship.

[@AP-pm9qy]

I love how this came up just after Bill Gates announced his divorce 😂

[@MetallicReg]

It isn’t a surprise when the divorce comes after the kids grow up. 😅 People want to give the kids a partly working, but unified, family in their childhood.

[@awab4272]

Lmao right. I was having this thought throughout the video.

[@abhiramivelu8225]

What?? Bill Gates? wth

[@cupcakemcsparklebutt9051]

@@abhiramivelu8225 uuu

[@shrishchauhan3390]

Lmao, I was just going to comment this! Seems you beat me to it.

[@MatthewHoHiWorld]

To whoever drafted the captions: please include every word. I often listen and read at the same time. It's hard to read when there are words missing.

[@TheSoundofTanay]

While this is a great channel with lots to offer - I would like to ask everyone here to also think for themselves and base their decisions on their own experience, faith and belief systems.

[@nadz7852]

💯

[@SSR00000]

Love the ocean theme, colour scheme and art.... compliments to the artists involved.

[@peterlikesthis]

Thanks!

[@nicoleonfeels]

Trust and communication are absolutely key 🔑

[@samzeitein]

What if someone is insecure and never share his thoughts and mind with someone else?!

[@arijitachakraborty6205]

You just described my first love story within 5 minutes.

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

I love this new style - the pauses in between concepts. Very much appreciated from a fellow educator. Well done 👍🏼

[@bonk3810]

Bro this is our first date and she’s making me watch this Edit: this video is not very effective.

[@Guts_Brando]

Marry her

[@vichuang1480]

Red flag!

[@Nickelodeon81]

Uh Oh

[@Guts_Brando]

@@vichuang1480 how is that a red flag? Sure its early to show him the channel but, ironically, its just a small thing, perhaps an awkward bad timing, doesnt mean "RED FLAG"

[@Armz69]

Bahahaha

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

I just woke up from letting existential dread set in last night after going down the rabbit hole 7 months after our breakup. Please stop spying on me lol

[@agonbelallari755]

Username definitely checks out

[@vanellelatte9867]

i felt this

[@Slam_24]

You got this!

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@@Slam_24 Thanks, chum ❤️

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@Penderyn Lewsyn oh dear... Hope you find comfort soon

[@taiadi]

Relationship anxiety and separation anxiety (as an adult) would be helpful topics to cover!

[@ancaaa008]

I suffer from separation anxiety and it is rotting me on the inside. And pushing my partner away

[@tilottamam7315]

Yeesss tell me about it. Secretly hoping to come back here after many years to update on journey.

[@pranamya2709]

I'll be waiting for the update!!

[@abhayn9615]

You know what let me join you on that. We have kind of broken up now but I believe in us enough to know it's not a complete full stop. Il update this and get back to it loll

[@anemptyspace]

Let me join the party, maybe I'll come back in some time and can laugh at myself. Our relationship of 2+ years is on the brink of falling apart. I am trying to figure out what's wrong and help whichever way I can, but he's shutting down all my attempts and won't talk. I truly believe there is a future for us if we both are willing to work for it. For now it seems like I'm the only one that wants it to go somewhere. Wish me luck...

[@tilottamam7315]

@@anemptyspace My best wishes. Hope things will work out for you guys 💕

[@tilottamam7315]

@@abhayn9615 Let's hope for the best 👍

[@yourexcellence1]

Its amazing how School of Life is able to bring a deep and meaningful perspective every single time in their gideos. Cheers to the thought porcess. I love the channel and feel grateful for having subscribed to it.

[@Brilliant_Smoke]

Well I just got married, this came at the right time.......

[@samzeitein]

Congratulations 💐 brother, on your new adventures with your partner.

[@ivefa2872]

Congratulations, good luck

[@Brilliant_Smoke]

Thank you

[@borispachincko6076]

Fragile couples tend not to be good detectives of their own sufferings. It is an achievement to know how to be strong about one’s vulnerability. 😌😌☺️☺️☺️☺️. Always good stuff

[@amicableenmity9820]

Honestly seeing this as a sign I shouldn't be in a relationship, period. I'm too worn out from fights within my own family to fight anyone else.

[@FreakyFeline88]

I'm loving the ocean theme for today's video 😂

[@ishihayahajimagumpara9266]

this channel really pops timely everytime smtng is going in my life

[@AfroSamurai1089]

RIGHT?!

[@beezlebubblegumv449]

IM SORRY IM LOSING IT OVER THESE FISH THEYRE SO CUTE

[@gulizeboamatova]

Please, now make a video about how we may become grown up inside!

[@actuallybusiness1622]

*Wealth is the ability to fully experience life!!*

[@matheuskalin7228]

I'm a simple man, I see The School of Life upload, I click.

[@yenkodavi3573]

I will save you all the 6 minutes 1. RESPECT, respect respect alot of people say they are respectful blah lah blah they are not!! 2. The ability to understand another person is also hard to do for people!! with those two in check you will find a best friend , a lover and a partner respect and the “ability” to understand others!! 👍🏽

[@rpgilagamedev4839]

Right when I need it the most

[@abigailkaje8162]

Identify the risks in good time, and with expert help, fix them while there is still time ❤

[@the_okoh]

So, how do I keep the relationship going?

[@MrAngel2U]

I think you are you on the right track just by asking the question. It shows your curiosity to explore and learn.

[@NathanRiveraMelo]

This was one of the best animations I've seen on SoL in a while, and the topic was excellent! Nice one, y'all!!

[@peterlikesthis]

Thanks man! :)

[@drzagato]

Thank you for all the great content! So helpful and uplifting.

[@seymaekinkzlay6499]

IF ONLY both partner want to fix it... Otherwise, one will find himself/herself exhausted to try.

[@sajalmishra2872]

So true

[@Nina-pw4hl]

I always see so much of myself in these videos... Progress is painfully slow but I'm getting there!

[@charliperez8588]

I just need to date someone that’s exactly like me

[@maxinescott2479]

ikr

[@Mostacs]

This animation is amazing

[@OfficialKoven]

Tip: Learn about Attachment Theory Thank me later.

[@spacegirl226]

This. My husband and I have been together for ten years. We're on the rocks right now. I discovered attachment theory yesterday, and now our behaviors make so much more sense. I wish I had known earlier! Anxious-avoidant. Difficult to deal with, but it can be solved with a lot of work from both partners.

[@HERLEGASEA]

Can you do one about abusing alcohol in a relationship? My boyfriend and I get along for the most part unless we're drinking. Then we will start arguing over little things and blow it out of proportion

[@itsoracle]

just stop drinking it's as simple as that, talk to him about how it's hurting the relationship and resolve to help each other quit, there is nothing good about alcohol don't make excuses

[@nuzulamru]

Good animation, good explanation but the language used is too advance for me who don't speak english as main language 😭

[@tubeyou89119]

Gates' divorce came to mind first...They had a very productive and accomplished partnership for a long period. The journey is more important than the last moment. I wish them both the best in the new chapters.

[@0000song0000]

I truly love Alain's narrations, not sure if it's the enlightenment or his really soothing accent.

[@Je.rone_]

I'm sending this to bill & melinda

[@jacopocio5541]

This is so relatable. Do you have any advice on how to solve some of those problems?

[@LeaLeaax3]

Therapy.

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Communication

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Couples therapy is literally just learning how to communicate without letting your feelings get the better of you

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Its also important to note that communication includes the act of listening

[@PeterrDingDong]

I highly recommend reading the book Attached, it is about the human attachment system and how it affects how behavior in relationships. As someone who has more of an anxious attachment style this book helped me a lot by understanding how my attachment system works and how it can negatively affect my partner. The book is based on two decades of research and written by several PhD level Psychologists.

[@ReynaSingh]

Any relationship involves selflessness. When egos get involved, relationships become brittle

[@samzeitein]

You are right, but it's really difficult to separate oneself from thier ego.

[@TheBauwssss]

Hmmm, after listening to this I think my celibacy so far may have been a blessing in disguise. I know I shouldn't, but yet I feel ashamed to admit that I do/have/exhibit/cause literally every single thing mentioned in this video. In that light I think it may have been a good choice to purposefully abstain from any and all romantic relationships for the past 27 years (my age), not entirely for a lack of trying on my part. When I was younger I did my best, and I tried for years and years, but not a single girl was interested in me back then. (And yes, I was always clean [as in showered], _always_ nicely dressed [even at school and such], I have super good oral hygiene [I have never had even a single cavity in my life! Ever!] and I always got to know the girl a little before deciding to ask them on a date. I have never been attracted to looks, in fact the girls I fall in love with are usually, if I'm being brutally honest, a 5 at most, so I know I haven't been too picky. I don't know what else I could possibly have done differently to increase my chances, other than getting rich or something. The rejections barely touched me at first, but after a while it just gets to you and becomes more and more painful. In the end it ended up being so fucking painful I was seriously afraid that if it were to happened again I'd seriously hurt myself in an impulse. So I did what I had to do to keep myself from falling into that deep dark place below, and finally, after god knows how many rejections I just stopped trying. I never pushed or tried to force anything, and I honestly think the rejections weren't the result of me trying too hard. And that, ladies and gents, is the sorry ass state I currently find myself in. My apologies for wearing what's left of my heart on my sleeve, I don't usually like to expose my inner thoughts/ruminations/deliberation processes to the outside world like this, but this video struck a nerve (like SoL usually does ☺️) and I couldn't fight it anymore, so it just kinda spilled out or something. Sorry 'bout that. 😁

[@gazelle3635]

💜

[@postmortemarg]

There are many out there that are similar or just like you. Youre not alone. The modern world we live in was not built for us

[@TheBauwssss]

@@postmortemarg thank you for your kind words, Marcus 😊

[@TheBauwssss]

@@gazelle3635 💜😊

[@jirapatthaenphromrat2910]

You're in denial

[@nushratnowshin9236]

Allain de botton' s voice is so calming...people can also understand who dont speak english fluently.

[@vanellelatte9867]

this popped up the wrong time for me 🧍‍♀️ going through a breakup rn

[@samzeitein]

Everything Will be okay, my friend. It is Just part of relationship. (But I can feel your pain)

[@vanellelatte9867]

@@samzeitein thank you for your kind words :)!

[@samzeitein]

@@vanellelatte9867 your welcome. Everyone is going through emotional rollercoaster some are fortunate who are able to share with close ones and other people ( you and I kind of people) looking for little comfort form the World and surrounding.

[@vanellelatte9867]

@@samzeitein ahh thank you so much!! you have no idea how much i appreciate your comments. i really like communities like this since we are all empathetic towards the situations of others in these comment sections 💗

[@samzeitein]

@@vanellelatte9867 helping and sharing is what we are here for 🙂.

[@leerouxing4321]

great analysis on relationships. Thank you so much

[@cozzy8910]

I miss this voice 💙

[@OlympianVenus]

This is what I needed. Thanks for this video.

[@TheHomeAloneProject]

Happy to hear this while I’m single, I have all the risk factors 😬 Will be referring to this often 😊 I know I’ll be able to learn this in order to improve my interpersonal relationships

[@cr-xb1jv]

When two abysses meet no great height is reached

[@MsBhappy]

Is this from anywhere? I like it

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Noice

[@Jonedcc]

I'm a month into a new relationship and hope for advice on how to progress it...

[@pranamya2709]

I wish you the best!!

[@Jonedcc]

Crash and burn, oh well

[@sanjosajidaniel6216]

Sometimes relationship have to take a break and join for better.

[@NatashaVincent]

4:43 Poor daddy fish 😵 Thank you for this content. It's helpful for all intimate relationships

[@TheDhammaHub]

Overly strong emotions usually go both directions and are often a sign of instability indeed

[@desi1844]

The only thing that will prepare you for marriage IS marriage. You can watch all the KZbin videos and read all the books 📚 in the world but certain you just gotta experience them for yourself because no experiences are the same. Oh and marriage is NOT for wimps.

[@monikkkk2124]

Is there any reason that when I get mad with my partner and he tries to make me feel good again but seeing how good he is, laughing and doing like nothing it's really happening makes me feel more sad and I deny his help and let myself feel more sad? Idk what to do:(

[@Vitoiniccio]

Maybe you feel insecure so there's a feeling of not being deserving of that person? Insecurity is also a red flag in a relationship. Remember that your partner CHOSE you, out of everyone. Otherwise it may be because he's inconsistent (apologizing now but committing the same error afterwards).

[@vanellelatte9867]

hi! i've been here before. both my last partner and i were like this haha depending on the situation. for me, i let the stress pressure me too much to the point where his help seemed insignificant. i felt like his words are just his words, and not something that makes me feel better. i eventually learned that it's not the case, and he's genuinely trying to help. however, it's important to note that my partner - similar to what VitaminCee said - was very inconsistent with supporting my emotional needs, thus causing me to react negatively. for my last partner, he is VERY insecure. he believes he's not worthy of love and that i deserve better. he didn't deny my help necessarily, but it was difficult to get him to open up (i tried not to pressure him, but it hurt a lot to see him struggle and not communicate with me about how he feels). i think one of the things you should do is let your partner know how you feel. there's probably something internal going on that's not exposed yet (whether it's something relating to you such as insecurity, him, or the relationship as a whole). talking to him would let him know how you feel, and maybe you'll realize a few things as you talk and hear his input. communication is always key ^_^b!! you commenting on a School of Life video proves that you seek the best for both you and your partner, and i trust you'll find a way to! i hope this helps~

[@monikkkk2124]

@@Vitoiniccio thank you for your help!

[@monikkkk2124]

@@vanellelatte9867 wow, its amazing how people can relate to same problems, thank you for your help!

[@bhaydenca]

I love the animal's instead of human animations. Less creepy

[@vtheb1299]

Yes, even before the ugly divorce of my parents, I never observed arguments or conversations that had a productive resolution :-( thank god my DH is emotionally mature. I'm learning from him every day.

[@xKyl3]

Alain's voice hits different every time 🥴😫

[@ab_7723]

I know am not the only single taking education here

[@JayNakajima777]

Wish I saw videos like these when they could’ve saved my relationship :/ maybe next time if i ever fall in love with someone else

[@KnowledgeSeeker78491]

Good luck...I bought relationships books from SOL, shared videos with her and tried to talk about our relationship... still broke up... whoever I’ve ever been in love with has left me...I wish brothels were legal and plentiful in America because I’m done with relationships

[@simpson2430]

There is one more thing you forgot to highlight. Relationships are not for fragile people.

[@manankpanchmatia3470]

This video came to me a little too late 💀👀

[@OlympianVenus]

Me too 😢 and the problem was an Indian guy. So unstable in love.

[@Philmunda139]

No love without discipline ( for both ) Spine is imperative.

[@ModernVince]

16 seconds after upload and I wasn’t even first comment?? Wtf