How to Keep a Relationship Going

[@cursedwaffle]

remember to continuously improve yourself as a person even when you're in a relationship. never stop growing. a note to self.

[@maxoconnor5087]

this is so true

[@The-Athenian]

Comments like yours make me realise the world is growing more mature.

[@quimblyjones9767]

Yup yup. And if they aren't trying to improve themselves or, glob forbid, making you do all the improvement then maybe look elsewhere. Out of almost 8 billion people, you only need one.

[@beatrizcansado8080]

That’s very important.

[@apktatboy]

Very true. I think a lot of us have experienced this and lost ourselves temporarily in a relationship that didn't last. Will never happen again.

[@devxshish]

“There is no perfect. There will always be struggle. You just have to pick who you want to struggle with.” ❤️

[@demetranikandrou5650]

❤️❤️

[@SV-dd4bt]

With your hand bro.

[@beisiknikneimas]

This ! ✨✨✨

[@kshiprabhandari]

aw yesss a Before You Go quote!

[@rudigruenberg6591]

Real life is a disspointment

[@nicojoshuas]

how to keep a relationship going: communication and kindness

[@cassiecc1811]

Communication, kindness and respect

[@guitardaddy6]

Gross. No. That's how to simp

[@chrisherrera8384]

Polarity*

[@szarekhostwind]

@@guitardaddy6 being kind is a simp? do you have fragile masculinity?

[@rpgilagamedev]

Thats hard when you are the only one who did that

[@thaisoceanos]

As a marine biologist, I just wanted to share how much I love the design this time too!!!

[@firitus]

This reminded me of George Costanza 😂 greetings, fellow biologist🙋🏻‍♀️

[@bosej.2621]

@@firitus you wouldn't happen to be an architect too 🤣

[@firitus]

@@bosej.2621 Have you heard about the Guggenheim?🤣

[@andymath89]

The fishies are so cute, OMG

[@robosing225]

how do you make your money as a marine biologist ma'am? I'm interested

[@nunofarizo]

0:23 Overoptimism About Relationships 1:07 Out of Touch with Pain 1:52 Shame 2:46 Excessive Anxiety 3:32 Excessive Pride 4:30 Hopelessness about Dialogue Thank you school of life!

[@sarahleewatson]

Thank you for the outline!

[@brunayamaguchi9664]

Thank you for the timestamps!

[@Maheshwarkhetan]

These are things to be avoided, right? 😅

[@abro99]

We had all of them in my past relationship, now I can see I also had my share. Every child should be taught these in high school.

[@j.m9189]

Thank you Nuno

[@MichelleC50]

The only pearls of wisdom I have is what I've learned myself. My hubby and I have been married for 12 years now. Many ups and downs. We both are committed to each other, meaning our relationship can only survive and thrive if we both work at it. Each of us change as we get older either by choice or nature. Choose to fall in love with your partner at every stage of your life. Goodness knows you're not the same person you were a decade ago. Choose each other every day and you stand a damn good chance of making it ♥

[@spennny1000]

I've been I a 15 year relationship.... honesty is the key

[@Leo-mr1qz]

I also have been married over a decade (13 years), and I agree with your thoughts. I think the challenges get different, more complex, and time consuming as our family of 5 grows together and up. Taking the time to see my husband each and every day, the way he needs to be seen that day, has been a helpful and useful tool in our commitment and growth as a couple. As a mother of 3 small children, he, as the only male in the house, can get lost in the shuffle of life at times, Making the time for each other each day is a priority I try to keep up.

[@pablita1904]

[@eliasbautista2687]

Is lying a deal breaker? If you have time can you please reply I want to know.

[@michaelh6014]

The woman I loved and who I thought of as my wife to be , mother of my children went out and spent bread on a ring i really didn't have took initiative to go to her parents and grandparents for a blessing and gave the ring to her a day before valentine's day because she had to work but I took her out to the beach and done it there watched her cry and felt a warm embrace knowing we were locked in been on this roller coaster for 3 years having ups and downs like we all do the the person we choose to have in our lives. I just found out she has been speaking with other boys not guys or men because I see her as wife to be and such not just another quickie like these others do . She'd been talking with them and putting out via social media as I lay with her, caress her , kiss her , and love her tell her she's beautiful day in night out and how I look forward to elevating with her . This action has caused a big fault line even with her fam because they think of me as their own. If You know you know. Keep in mind i am not perfect but I have crossed THAT line its not me not in me . I wish her well I do I fall in love with this woman day in night out l even especially after a disagreement because I see it as us growing . but this ... This I wish i would've known 3 years ago this would come into play💔. One love y'all stay positive no matter what 🤙🏾!

[@NickNotas]

What matters most is that both parties know that the other person is deeply invested in growing the relationship. That provides the security for us to be vulnerable and navigate the tough conversations more productively. We don’t assume they have bad intentions, work through it as a team, and become much closer because of it.

[@phoebeel]

Yes! It's important to have a conversation about how serious both partners are about growing and evolving the relationship. About promising each other to stick to it even when first fights arise

[@hgzmatt]

Sounds great in theory and I agree.. the problem is just all the bad stuff that keeps happening to us.. it makes it really hard to trust. So far love has only lead to pain.

[@fruitXpebbles]

I'm not sure how to ask my partner if we are on the same page and that breaks my heart

[@Jackgritty28]

conflict and squabble, trust issues, unfair treatment, offended by neglect⛔🚩🆘💲✅

[@fredrogers9996]

The thumb's up number was at 666 so I made it 667 my good deed 4 the day😂

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

When it comes to fighting the biggest lesson I've learnt is; it's not me vs you, it's us vs the problem.

[@banana19934]

I love this

[@IGarrettI]

Tough when your partner is immature and keeps seeing it as me Vs you , even when you point out it's about us

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@IGarrettI That is a tough one. Maybe it's worth figuring out how important this is to you and if it's a deal breaker express that to your partner, give them however much time you want to change their actions, and if they don't then you know it's time to go since they've broken a core value of yours. I've been in a similar situation and it's really hard man, hope some of that helps.

[@IGarrettI]

@@TakeBackYourMind997 thanks man. We agreed to break up. in a civil way we pointed out things we disliked and would like the other to improve on. It's been a month and it hasn't changed on my partner's end. It's tough cuz we live together and having so many things and no driving license, and tough to find an affordable place to live by my self

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@IGarrettI I'm sorry it didn't work out but respect for making the tough decision, that's a hard thing to do. I guess all you can do with that other stuff is compartmentalise it, come up with your best possible next move and accept anything that's out of your control. Easier said than done but you've done the most difficult part already!

[@amruthanand1330]

Being a person who's never been in a relationship for 22 years. This channel gives me a lot of think about how I should ever go about it if I do.

[@ugastronomie1237]

I'm 22 too

[@Amina088]

It definitely helps. I discovered this channel soon after breaking up for the first time at 18. Throughout the 4 years after that, I spent time learning love while having concepts in the School of Life on my mind eg. how childhood affects everyone, how romanticism can ruin love, how physical intimacy isn't just physical, and how our partner - no matter how great and perfect they seem at first - will turn out not so perfect after all. Then, at 22, I started being in a committed relationship again. This time I handle things much more maturely. Having understood these insights prior to starting this relationship, I could gradually console myself by letting my emotional self catch up with my intellectual self. Meg Jay, a psychologist who gave a wonderful TED talk titled "Why 30s is not the new 20s," said that "The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one." And I couldn't agree more. It's about knowing yourself, what you need from a partner, how much are you willing to compromise, and what you cannot compromise, that lead to choosing a partner wisely and being able to grow together with the person we choose. I pray that you will one day meet the person you want to choose to grow together. :) Really wish you all the best!

[@desi1844]

You think you can learn about real life experiences based on KZbin videos!! Lmao Good luck mate

[@automobili2801]

@@desi1844 yes

[@kimyongun5471]

@@automobili2801 no you cant mate:)

[@DawnPeacock]

I actually get along with my husband like a dream. We always lift each other up and support each other, enjoy each other immensely and basically smile and laugh all the time. 12 years married and no fighting, resentment or bickering. Just joy!

[@albinobeach]

That makes me wonder... no conflict? Sounds like you guys are in la la land

[@rpgilagamedev]

One week without a fight is ridicolous. 12 years? Spoil the secret.

[@Shagley]

So you married your cousin then

[@KayKayshaw]

@@DawnPeacock How did you know he is the right person for you??

[@DawnPeacock]

@@KayKayshaw I sometimes wonder HOW we knew we loved each other. I don't know how we knew it, we just felt it...and only after I'd been with him for some time, I could make you a list of the reasons he's perfect for me.

[@LuminaryRain]

True love is about caring, not taking; It's about service to others, not service to self. What I can share - not just regarding relationships, but about interpersonal issues in general - is that whenever you feel something negative (that is not the direct result of physical pain) - not just in the context of human interaction - it's actually caused by a fear. It is very helpful to thoroughly think about this statement: Find the underlying fear(s) -> solve the problem(s) within yourself -> evolve. In the process of growing up, one has to learn to overcome their fears, with the ultimate goal in mind to be in a constant state of love; to become love - the opposite of fear.

[@EclecticTingz]

💕🤙🏽

[@MASTEROOOO]

i think I fell in love with you saying that!

[@x2y3a1j5]

All that is indeed very useful at the beginning. But when your partner consistently dismiss your remarks about *their* own behaviors/attitudes that are hurting you, then it is a very different thing altogether. So, my contribution to complete your rational, kind advise here would be to analyse carefully what exactly, when you’re having negative feelings, belong entirely to things that you can modify or accommodate on your own (maybe tone down your views on X or Y, maybe concede that your partner has indeed a point or two and work on those points) and what belongs to your partner or to the both of you.

[@LuminaryRain]

@@x2y3a1j5 True. Being fearless is only beneficial if one is capable of thinking and acting logically, as well... However, love not only is the greatest force in existence, it's the only thing that truly matters.

[@x2y3a1j5]

@@LuminaryRain Yes, I agree. As you said, Love is a force. It therefore follows that this force of Love must be used wisely. For Love can destroy you too, when you believe in it blindly and give it unconditionally to your partner, who instead treats you miserably and, in the end, discards you without any regards nor remorse once s/he has sucked out everything they could from you. The force of Love is best used to better a relationship (including towards oneself) and spared for others, later in life, when the current partner does not care nor appreciates it. There are some very sneaky cruel narcissistics out there and they just love to prey on people who are sensitive and believe in Love. There’s nothing against Love and keeping your eyes open. “Blind” Love is a terribly destroying and toxic experience. It should be called by its clearer name, Infatuation. That’s not real Love. Greetings, Luminary Rain.

[@rosettesionne9139]

I think that one thing that kills a relationship is the inability to handle conflict constructively. Most people I know tends either to avoid or react violently to difficulties instead of calming down and openly talking about it. They tend to avoid the problem instead of confronting it and inevitably the problem will grow and will become difficult to manage. I believe that if couples learns to express each others feelings in an open way and listen without judging then most communication problem would had been avoided.

[@Alice_Walker]

Yes, one of the most important things I've learnt about navigating conflict is that it's about approaching it as "us vs the problem" rather than "me vs you" Conflict handled this way has tended to bring me closer to my partners and increase closeness and understanding.

[@azaliahangulo]

When he said "excessive anxiety" I thought he was going to talk about people with an anxiety disorder. I'm glad it didn't go that route because I feel people who have anxiety can still be in healthy relationships. As long as the partner with anxiety can communicate what they are feeling and the other partner can listen and is able to provide emotional support.

[@njux1871]

i have a generalized anxiety disorder and have been in a relationship for well over a year now. it's oftentimes like a tornado but we can make it so much smaller by just talking about it (which still took me months with some things).

[@stagefish41]

I’ve been in a relationship with my best friend for 7 years now but I have really bad anxiety, it takes a lot to nit twist shit like a pretzel in my own head but I’m definitely working on it and I’m super fortunate to have a really understanding partner

[@PranjalRahman]

Relationships are all about making the effort to commit and actually communicate. We must express what is on our mind and we must listen to each other.

[@paksta]

I have found a commitment to kindly learning about one another is a good one. Whatever you do, learn. Nobody is a perfect fit, but over time you can grow to care for each other in more and more ways that matter to each other. After a while, the relationship feels like it 'fits' and you too have grown. Plus remember, you will grow into different people over time anyway, so you need to constantly learn about who each other is becoming. If the other person (or you) is not willing to learn about their partner, I think that might be a good sign that it won't last.

[@lilacblue3331]

This is beautiful 🖤🖤🖤

[@ninacueva3828]

Thank you for this invaluable insight.

[@paksta]

@@plingolinoplong3954 That's tough. My advice would be to think pragmatically about what is really needed to be known. Imagine you're considering investing into a start-up business with a partner, but you don't know their thoughts on the mission, the company values, or what the growth plans are. (Or whatever else is a deal-breaker for you). Obviously that's a problem for long term success. Compare that to the control, excitement and trust that builds when people openly share and develop those values, goals and strategic steps as fair and equal partners. The business would not only have a good chance of success, but the process is likely to be more thrilling and enjoyable. You ride both the highs and lows as a team, building experience and strength together. So yeah, each can choose what they would like to share and both can decide if it's sufficient to make a partnership.

[@Aced_Dreamer]

🕊🕊

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

Do one on that "relationship anxiety" we've been hearing a lot about

[@cheche5172]

Perhaps you could share an article here until a video is made 🤗

[@YanaPetruk]

Yeah! Totally!!

[@fgt2078]

Relationship anxiety is my downfall :(

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@@fgt2078 I'm sorry :( My ex broke up with me 7 months ago because she was feeling that way, it still hurts

[@Calamacow]

@@AbsurdExistentialistI know this comment is like 2 years old, just wanted to say hope your doing well.

[@blakebloomer687]

I’ve been in a relationship for about 2 and a half months, we have many mature conversations about the kind of situations. It is very healthy to focus on yourself, do not make a relationship everything.

[@rampagedingo]

I think constant communication and creativity goes a long way in making relationships last long. Creativity is important in terms of finding creative solutions to problems and in terms of being romantic or showing appreciation to one another once in a while. It's a way of communicating to your significant other that you love them.

[@HopefulTribe]

"Fragile couples"--I've never heard couples described in this way before. Nice!

[@vinnyyep4853]

When your relationship is about to end and this video comes up bruh-

[@squirclequir1800]

Bruh

[@ishihayahajimagumpara9266]

Bruh same ahhahahah

[@pelicanntuli1662]

😭

[@madefromstardust2250]

Legit me, we were so close to breaking up yesterday after a rather great 6 months.

[@monikkkk2124]

Bruh same 😂😂😂

[@JP-vw8fp]

Wish I was aware of these things before I let my last relationship deteriorate. Thanks for the informative video as always.

[@trevorwhaley3780]

This

[@KayKayshaw]

Haha sameee

[@Lisey_Ann]

Same 😔

[@MikeJackson690]

Same here

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Can you get it back

[@ethanielclyne5810]

I'm 20 months into a great relationship and we've never properly argued in person, but when we eventually do that's life and it happens

[@Wael.13]

That's a possibility. but you might be both mature enough, that you know how to deflect small conflict between each other.

[@njux1871]

@@Wael.13 Until you live together. :b The closer you get, the more likely an argument is.

[@sonyavincent7450]

Update?

[@jewris.art11]

As a member of the single population, I'm glad that I have time to keep a close relationship with myself. 😊

[@amando96]

Both the easiest and the hardest because you have nothing to mirror yourself back to yourself. Self-development in a vacuum could be more dangerous than codependency.

[@olitomar]

I've been binge watching These videos... My relationship is hanging by a thread. It's probably the first healthy relationship I've ever been in. My shame and pride have put it on the brink.

[@IncuriusCognito]

Dude you just life once, take a step and swallow your pride whatever comes out you'll be glad that you've done it

[@nuthead8888]

Saaaame

[@lowlife5011]

relatable af.

[@olitomar]

@@IncuriusCognito thanks for the tip mang. it's hard for me. 1 year later we're still going forward

[@IncuriusCognito]

@@olitomar good for you mate, im happy for u

[@foreignlovedreams]

From my life experience I have some romantic tips: 1. Think of Your Partner 2. Practice Touching and Make It a Game 3. Spend Time Together 4. Surprise Them With a Creative Gift 5. Mute, Switch Off, and Disconnect When it’s just the two of you, focus on each other.

[@ProdeBird]

My 7 years long relationship has just come to an end, and now I see we checked so many boxes on the fragile couple list of this video...

[@lynettecaballero1660]

Selfishness is the #1 relationship killer. The things we work hard for ,we value the most. It takes integrity,Accountability,responsibility,understanding,good authentic communication,not taking things so personally and negative( a complaint is really a desire for being better.These and Being othercentered,not selfcentered builds trust and true Love.

[@31minutesago]

And a spacebar

[@andrewraslan5348]

Funnily enough, that's not true. Many of the myths around relationships have been introduced into the culture by desperately needy/anxious people who never feel they get enough. Selfishness is, in fact, that #1 thing that sustains your happiness in a relationship, and fuels you to support your partner/parent/child/friend - as long as it's the SMART kind of selfish. Which is expressing what you need, taking what you want, not staying where you're not appreciated, and then using the energy you got to give back :)

[@andrewraslan5348]

Furthermore, being "other-centred" is almost without exception a passive-aggressive way of giving with a price tag - you do everything you can to keep your partner/parent/child/friend/sibling etc. happy, but with the unspoken expectation that they owe you for every little gesture. Which is entitlement. That's different from smart-selfish, where you take what you need and give what they ask freely, without any hidden "contracts" that "other-centred" people usually create because they feel they can't get love directly.

[@Un1234l]

@@andrewraslan5348 No, you're just spinning things. While it definitely can turn to be that way, other-centered typically and overwhelmingly means genuinely feeling caring and charitable, empathetic, to others. It's like how you can spin not spending much money as either being frugal, stingy, financially-wise, cheap, broke. Depends on the details, devil and all yadayada.

[@algo98algo]

@@Un1234l exactly

[@izstrella]

Does anybody else feel like they are in a constant state of preparing for times that will never come? Whether it be for a relationship, or success as a content creator, or even just how to be the “life of the party”...I feel as though I spend so much time studying for the what-ifs and how to do well when I get there that I never actually take steps towards getting there. An endless cycle of hoping, preparing, then feeling not good enough to start. I need to work on this, but I’m not sure how. I guess I’ll figure it out...maybe there’s a video for that too...

[@cookiegirl891]

You gotta actually just go for it

[@prettynderanged]

I also struggle with this . If you figure out a way let me know lol

[@kcollier5626]

Youre just scared and lazy. Go out there and dont overthink it. Grab the low hanging fruit first

[@user-ro1cc8tz6d]

Stop watching youtube and touch grass. Most of these videos will only cause fear in you

[@raykarpp]

I read a book that talked about those sorts of things, make a plan for what you are wanting to do or accomplish and act on that plan, it doesn't have to be a great plan, but you need to have one to start, once you start, to reach your goal you probably won't get there following the plan you first made, the plan you first make is just there to get you started and going in the right direction, then life and opportunities will follow and the plan will naturally change and you work with it and embrace learning on the way, always say your goal/s to yourself everyday, write it down, dig it into your head so it becomes a part of you and you don't lose sight of it and keep going. I may not have worded that very well, I hope you understand. And if anyone's curious the book is called The Slight Edge, you can watch some videos briefly explaining it, im not very good at explaining things

[@Death2llorts]

It’s funny how I saw this in passing around when I feel like my relationship was becoming rough and it was because I didn’t take the time to really evaluate why I felt the way I did and misattributed my unhappiness to the relationship… I closed myself off to the things I could do better but I don’t want to make the mistake again with anyone.

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

Message him on wh @ tsapp

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

✝ 2349015122652⏭⏭

[@judiciallawacademy.3938]

School of Life makes me feel sane. Each time I go away with a feeling a gratitude knowing I am heading in the right direction ♥️♥️♥️

[@alicecoppers8980]

As a therapist I often find that couples do not know how to forgive and regain trust. Most of us haven’t learned from our parents how to do this. The other thing is young people think that they are entitled to yelling and screaming at someone when they’re mad. Like a three year old it doesn’t solve anything except make the relationship more difficult. More difficult a relationship becomes the quicker people leave.

[@samzeitein]

Your words are so true.

[@samzeitein]

Do you have any suggestions, How to change this kind of mentality?! I would really love to know.

[@andrewraslan5348]

The last part ^ Western culture became contaminated with the idea that we must always be "authentic" and "vulnerable", as if there's no reason the words "petulant", "childish" and "immature" are: a). Completely negative in meaning and b). Descriptive exactly of a lack of emotional self-sufficiency and self-control To be adult is to be in control, more than anything else of yourself.

[@da-zp5xe]

@@andrewraslan5348 seems like you struggle with shame and pride, maybe you should rewatch the video

[@clutchjs122]

@@da-zp5xeMay I add heavily to that?

[@SSR00000]

Love the ocean theme, colour scheme and art.... compliments to the artists involved.

[@peterlikesthis]

Thanks!

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

I love this new style - the pauses in between concepts. Very much appreciated from a fellow educator. Well done 👍🏼

[@arianakhadem1873]

I love that in this video so much was mentioned about many different types of internal and interpersonal conflicts people may have due to their insecurities/ coping styles as a child. In close relationships, there seems to be a lot of reflection when the layers of what we show to the world come down, stripping us of the ability of how we want to act vs. how we do. In this explanation, he touches base on a medley of these ways we can "act out" as our inner children that are not disciplined deep down, bringing awareness as to why we hurt each other and how it happens. Though there are many things fundamentally that we are working through as individuals, true lovers can see what's going on beneath the surface and using radical acceptance, maturity and love can begin to heal one another. Being understood is the most romantic act imo.

[@lucasrocha845]

The school of life has also taught about the dangers of romantiscm, which is deeply related to being overoptimistic about relationships. I have a very romantic partner and it's very difficult to lower her expectations about our relationship.

[@viniciusgoncalves2642]

the main point I got from the video is that, whatever you do, you must be open about your feelings, not taking everything so seriously and being patient.

[@RahilDamerla]

Word of advice to the reader: If He/She does you wrong Do them right You’ll feel better about yourself and if He/She is the one They’ll see it too. Have a great day

[@Sympathomemetic]

Nah. equal rights!!

[@nicoleonfeels]

Trust and communication are absolutely key 🔑

[@samzeitein]

What if someone is insecure and never share his thoughts and mind with someone else?!

[@dontsettle4243]

Remember even God has breaks (a day of rest). Don't stay together (even when it hurts) just for the sake of saying your still together. Don't coast so long to the point where there is nothing left, just to say you stayed together. Sometimes a good break can do your relationship some good. You each could grow and be better versions of yourself. You could meet those new versions in a new area of your life. Or same area of your life as new more evolved/mature and more importantly happier/peaceful people. But don't let this video think that you have to be and/or stay a crab in the bucket. Disclaimer: This is based off the title, I'm still very excited to watch remainder (whole thing) of the video! :)

[@okirue]

Cool, I just learned I might have a fragile relationship with my partner.

[@yourexcellence1]

Its amazing how School of Life is able to bring a deep and meaningful perspective every single time in their gideos. Cheers to the thought porcess. I love the channel and feel grateful for having subscribed to it.

[@cloroxart]

This channel helping me so much

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

I just woke up from letting existential dread set in last night after going down the rabbit hole 7 months after our breakup. Please stop spying on me lol

[@agonbelallari755]

Username definitely checks out

[@vanellelatte9867]

i felt this

[@Slam_24]

You got this!

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@@Slam_24 Thanks, chum ❤️

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

@Penderyn Lewsyn oh dear... Hope you find comfort soon

[@rpgilagamedev]

Right when I need it the most

[@LivingALifeOfAbundance]

The one who cares the least runs the relationship. get with the girl that adores you the most. Not the one you breakin your neck for.

[@guitardaddy6]

Truth. Don't ever make the woman in your life your main attention piece. A man should always focus on his goals and a relationship/woman should come second. If a man isn't with a woman then I'm not referring to you or giving you any attention... Because you don't matter.

[@bruinsfan2828]

@@guitardaddy6 your comment seems like an oxymoron. A woman should come second, but anyone without a woman doesn’t matter..?

[@CaffHCloudlow]

So - "Don't ever make the partner in your life your main attention piece. A person should always focus on their goals and a relationship/partner should come second. If a person isn't with a partner I'm not referring to you because you don't matter" So, pay no attention to your partner but also if you don't have one, you're nothing? Whut?

[@guitardaddy6]

@@CaffHCloudlow the geis are cancer

[@guitardaddy6]

Get t-wiggered

[@zehfrage2036]

I feel like you've just explained my life in every way

[@Brian_Moser1118]

whether you're single or dating, hats off to you for watching.

[@lifeuncutwithananya90]

When I think about my first love and when I think about those relationships after my first love I see a huge difference.The innocent, immature me when I was in love for the first time transformed me into a very mature, patient, understanding, calm person. But when I think about those men who were in my life for awhile, I only miss my first love because rest only gives me pain, confusion, ignorance, non commitment, physical and emotional violence, which makes me realize I had stopped loving myself after my first breakup. My first love always told me to love myself before you can love others, but I stopped when he left. I think no one loved me back like him. Now, when I think about him, I always want him to be happy and thankful that he came into my life and made it beautiful for 5 years. Life circumstances and our parents' wishes may not give us the chance to be together forever, but I think that was the only beautiful relationship I had with him.

[@MatthewHoHiWorld]

To whoever drafted the captions: please include every word. I often listen and read at the same time. It's hard to read when there are words missing.

[@borispachincko6076]

Fragile couples tend not to be good detectives of their own sufferings. It is an achievement to know how to be strong about one’s vulnerability. 😌😌☺️☺️☺️☺️. Always good stuff

[@arijitachakraborty6205]

You just described my first love story within 5 minutes.

[@FreakyFeline88]

I'm loving the ocean theme for today's video 😂

[@AP-pm9qy]

I love how this came up just after Bill Gates announced his divorce 😂

[@MetallicReg]

It isn’t a surprise when the divorce comes after the kids grow up. 😅 People want to give the kids a partly working, but unified, family in their childhood.

[@awab4272]

Lmao right. I was having this thought throughout the video.

[@abhiramivelu8225]

What?? Bill Gates? wth

[@cupcakemcsparklebutt9051]

@@abhiramivelu8225 uuu

[@shrishchauhan3390]

Lmao, I was just going to comment this! Seems you beat me to it.

[@EpicGambas]

Thanks for these videos they have been so precious to me these last weeks !

[@Mostacs]

This animation is amazing

[@Aiviymatoc]

i love the narrators calming voice. your videos helped me a lot. just wanted to say thank you

[@taiadi]

Relationship anxiety and separation anxiety (as an adult) would be helpful topics to cover!

[@ancaaa008]

I suffer from separation anxiety and it is rotting me on the inside. And pushing my partner away

[@suyashsachan74]

Nothing like this is between me and my partner ....she is very understanding ❤ and I understand her too ❤

[@TheSoundofTanay]

While this is a great channel with lots to offer - I would like to ask everyone here to also think for themselves and base their decisions on their own experience, faith and belief systems.

[@nadz7852]

💯

[@andrewhancock2451]

This is a great message. Working to bridge the gaps in a relationship doesn't happen all in one conversation. It requires the acceptance that some aspects will not be understood or even heard in the current/next conversation, and the willingness to revisit the issue in the right circumstances down the road. It is not a magic bullet, and takes stamina and energy. Like many pursuits and accomplishments in life. And it takes skill in communicating positions/needs without vilifying the other party (which is not the same as not naming destructive or toxic behaviour). Like other challenges that we engage, of course, we need to assess whether the likely course of the relationship is worth the required effort that we can foresee. Sometimes, the compatibility and synergy just isn't there. Better to be up front (and as kind as possible) under these circumstances. Before things get to that point, there should be plenty of opportunity to discuss expectations. The nature of the prospective relationship determines how to-the-point this conversation must be, e.g,. a job interview versus a romantic partner versus family. If there aren't such opportunities, then there is a deeper issue. If it's just difficult to take advantage of opportunities for such communication, maybe it's due to incompatibilities or just lack of personal skill; the former might be navigable while the latter might be developable.

[@drzagato]

Thank you for all the great content! So helpful and uplifting.

[@unknownunknown5822]

I grew up in an abusive household, I'm still a nice person but I still end up with 5 breakups a year. Now I know what I can improve on

[@NathanRiveraMelo]

This was one of the best animations I've seen on SoL in a while, and the topic was excellent! Nice one, y'all!!

[@peterlikesthis]

Thanks man! :)

[@actuallybusiness1622]

*Wealth is the ability to fully experience life!!*

[@tilottamam7315]

Yeesss tell me about it. Secretly hoping to come back here after many years to update on journey.

[@pranamya2709]

I'll be waiting for the update!!

[@abhayn9615]

You know what let me join you on that. We have kind of broken up now but I believe in us enough to know it's not a complete full stop. Il update this and get back to it loll

[@anemptyspace]

Let me join the party, maybe I'll come back in some time and can laugh at myself. Our relationship of 2+ years is on the brink of falling apart. I am trying to figure out what's wrong and help whichever way I can, but he's shutting down all my attempts and won't talk. I truly believe there is a future for us if we both are willing to work for it. For now it seems like I'm the only one that wants it to go somewhere. Wish me luck...

[@tilottamam7315]

@@anemptyspace My best wishes. Hope things will work out for you guys 💕

[@tilottamam7315]

@@abhayn9615 Let's hope for the best 👍

[@amupamtalukder2041]

So nice of you, thanks a lot🧡

[@beezlebubblegumv449]

IM SORRY IM LOSING IT OVER THESE FISH THEYRE SO CUTE

[@thegreenroomorganic]

I’m so grateful for this channel ❤️ thank you for the service you’re doing. Helping us heal our childhood traumas, and be better parents for our children, and maintaining healthy relationships, bless you a million times 🙏🏻 ❤️

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

I just got my relationship fixed and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like never before I got help from a powerful spiritualist and his spells works effectively just as you want

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

Message him on wh @ tsapp

[@tolulopedestinyadeosunabos7853]

✝ 2349015122652⏭⏭

[@jophphrey4158]

thank you Alain

[@margarethakloots5287]

They are both anxious but Express themselves differently!

[@abigailkaje8162]

Identify the risks in good time, and with expert help, fix them while there is still time ❤

[@weston.weston]

We appreciate you, Alain.

[@xerinmahmud6868]

Absolutely agree with all the points ❤️

[@evgeniyakineva1947]

I commented, liked, and subscribed. My favorite modern philosopher - …remains my favorite

[@matheuskalin7228]

I'm a simple man, I see The School of Life upload, I click.

[@hannahbee567]

Thank you for these videos. Each team they already on my feed I end up being more honest and open with my partner

[@loto7197]

Never make a partner your #1 priority. They should always come second to your own personal goals. This is a key to both a happy relationship and determining whether your partner is good for you. Explaining and sharing is also not always a good thing, very much disagree with that. If you are consistently complaining to a partner or friends you will bring people down and push them away.

[@TallyTheHealdrichl]

Thanks, I guess I need to work on communicating my vulnerabilities instead of being upset. 🤗

[@bonk3810]

Bro this is our first date and she’s making me watch this Edit: this video is not very effective.

[@Guts_Brando]

Marry her

[@vichuang1480]

Red flag!

[@Nickelodeon81]

Uh Oh

[@Guts_Brando]

@@vichuang1480 how is that a red flag? Sure its early to show him the channel but, ironically, its just a small thing, perhaps an awkward bad timing, doesnt mean "RED FLAG"

[@Armz69]

Bahahaha

[@demven04]

The animation is so amazing, love it

[@ishihayahajimagumpara9266]

this channel really pops timely everytime smtng is going in my life

[@AfroSamurai1089]

RIGHT?!

[@gathonimwangi6758]

I adored the illustrations!!

[@0000song0000]

I truly love Alain's narrations, not sure if it's the enlightenment or his really soothing accent.

[@ArtiGamerYT]

it literally described problems i had in past relations, thanks for the advice

[@amicableenmity9820]

Honestly seeing this as a sign I shouldn't be in a relationship, period. I'm too worn out from fights within my own family to fight anyone else.

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

It kinda drags down to the point if it's even worth it

[@salinijohnson]

So true. 🙏🏼 My role models at home have been shitty and I've no desire to repeat that same toxic pattern.

[@ivefa2872]

@@salinijohnson it doesn't have to be toxic, mate. trust me, I was so against relationships because of the family I grew up in but when you find an understanding partner it's so beautiful and healing. Also I didn't want to conform to my parent's expectations of me so that was adding to my disgust of intimate relationships but if it's similar with you you must realize that you're letting your parents have an influence on you by avoiding it just to not conform to their expectations. It's the best thing in life

[@salinijohnson]

@@ivefa2872 thanks for this perspective. ❤️ I appreciate it. Gave me a lot to think about 🙏🏼

[@ivefa2872]

@@salinijohnson Glad to hear ❤️

[@youreverythingchannel9490]

Thanks i never thought that i was following some if these without knowing about it..

[@OlympianVenus]

This is what I needed. Thanks for this video.

[@Tearyatobitz]

Oh wow, thank you! I see so many in me!!! There’s still time to change

[@gulizeboamatova]

Please, now make a video about how we may become grown up inside!

[@Dancing414]

Love the cartoon that follows the words/message! Charming, humorous and spot on.

[@Nina-pw4hl]

I always see so much of myself in these videos... Progress is painfully slow but I'm getting there!

[@arayahomes4308]

I really love this channel.... So good.

[@Brilliant_Smoke]

Well I just got married, this came at the right time.......

[@samzeitein]

Congratulations 💐 brother, on your new adventures with your partner.

[@ivefa2872]

Congratulations, good luck

[@Brilliant_Smoke]

Thank you

[@SodaPopNRum]

Thanks, I really needed the help right now.

[@jacopocio5541]

This is so relatable. Do you have any advice on how to solve some of those problems?

[@LeaLeaax3]

Therapy.

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Communication

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Couples therapy is literally just learning how to communicate without letting your feelings get the better of you

[@Robin-ty2wz]

Its also important to note that communication includes the act of listening

[@PeterrDingDong]

I highly recommend reading the book Attached, it is about the human attachment system and how it affects how behavior in relationships. As someone who has more of an anxious attachment style this book helped me a lot by understanding how my attachment system works and how it can negatively affect my partner. The book is based on two decades of research and written by several PhD level Psychologists.

[@theresachung703]

So much thanks! Needed that

[@HERLEGASEA]

Can you do one about abusing alcohol in a relationship? My boyfriend and I get along for the most part unless we're drinking. Then we will start arguing over little things and blow it out of proportion

[@itsoracle]

just stop drinking it's as simple as that, talk to him about how it's hurting the relationship and resolve to help each other quit, there is nothing good about alcohol don't make excuses

[@Zachary-]

Good luck sending this video to anyone that needs to hear it.

[@cozzy8910]

I miss this voice 💙

[@annstar2793]

This so interestingly showed up at the most perfect time ! Thank you universe !!!!!