How To Initiate - 7 Ways To Initiate Sex That Will Make Your Partner Say "HELL YES!"

It’s hard to initiate sex, and most of us aren’t particularly skillful at it.
But we want to help you get much, much better at it!
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Free Guide: How To Start Talking About Sex With Your Partner - Even If You Never Have Before:
vmtherapy.com/about-vanessa-m...
Initiation Mistakes We All Make:
• Initiation Mistakes We...
My Website:
www.vmtherapy.com
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Hi there!
I’m Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.
I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, Lifehacker, Rolling Stone, GQ, Esquire, Playboy, and many more.
I look forward to helping you take your sex life from ordinary to extraordinary!
Get my weekly emails (and a free gift!) by signing up at: vmtherapy.com/subscribe/
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[@willisbaker3445]

I'm 70 years old and thoroughly enjoy listening to you two kids 😂

[@karuchokikete7722]

*Hey Granpa! Does Grandma knows you are watching these notty videos?* 😂

[@user-ot2uy2og9l]

Love it. Thank you!! 💓

[@staticxtract3023]

🤦‍♂️ I do all of these things already. I'm trying to learn to be more aggressive.. my girls a gentle soul

[@tylerarnold943]

It all depends on how receptive your significant other is. On paper these are great but put in real time maybe not so much.

[@twshatney]

Y’all should have a million subs. Thank you guys

[@vanessaandxander]

Aw thank you!! Share our channel to help us get there! 🥰

[@Toptierhoney_Shan]

This is gold

[@michaelrodriguez3329]

Glad to see both of you are hapoy and laugh together . Most marriages are sexless and unhapoy

[@TroyJamz]

This is basic, however very effective!

[@mckennahancock7389]

This was super helpful!

[@eliteranger999]

markingplier

[@loxleybattle2591]

My favs are 4, 6 and 7 ❤

[@Autumn-vn3dq]

Wow okay this helped so much!

[@vanessaandxander]

Woohoo! We love hearing that :)

[@geno5169]

I would love to have my wife to rap me! And I’ll be married 33 years! I’ll be .56 in June! I need this..!thank you both! I really enjoy watching you two!!

[@tonyaguth8227]

I like the sports bet sex initiation! 😆 🤣 Great idea 🤔🤭🤫😉

[@jazzyishea5332]

Thank u

[@vanessaandxander]

Welcome! Thanks for watching!!

[@doxdox13]

What about dressing up?

[@trust.worthy]

Its a good modifier like dressing up alone does nothing but dressing up and flirting multiplies that

[@marvelgurl1012]

I was in a sexless marriage for almost a decade and one of the last anniversaries, my ex literally pointed at the hallway to our bedroom and grunted at me. We hadn't been intimate in months and I was desperate, so I acted like that was exciting and sexy but in reality it was the exact opposite. So maybe, not that.

[@master-oogway870]

THOUSANDS OF TIMES!!!

[@CaptainRuggels]

I told my wife before we married I have a high sex drive and it probably won’t change for a few decades. We made an agreement that if I wanted sex she’d always put out when I asked and I would do that same for her. 15 years later (been together since we were 15) still strong on that front, just kids have us fumble sometimes. Watching the kids while she takes a bath does help, I’ve been doing that more lately for my wife.

[@geno5169]

I feel yeah

[@ltmltm4945]

I would be dressed up super sexy when my hubby comes home from work

[@denisbeaudoin4618]

That’s a great way

[@gabarquilita8816]

❤❤❤❤

[@kcuppsmakeups7652]

Soooo literally none of these ever work. I came here for new ideas and now just feel doomed

[@vanessaandxander]

All couples are unique, so of course not every piece of advice will work for every couple. What happens in your relationship when you try to initiate? If you're always getting turned down and your partner seems unwilling to talk about the kinds of initiation they would enjoy, that could be a sign of deeper issues in the relationship, unfortunately.

[@ryanmorgan9589]

If you don’t mind me asking how do you want your man to initiate it. What would get you in the “mood” when your not really in the mood. If it’s to personal you don’t have to say. My girl just never is in the mood. 3 years and had sex maybe 15 times and I have to do absolutely everything. I say things like come to bed naked in a cheeky way but just get nothing from her. Just puts clothes on and comes to bed.

[@ryanmorgan9589]

I have offered massages and not even in a sexual way and still get rejected.

[@ElderCreationist]

@@ryanmorgan9589 You're providing emotional support I assume? You seem like a very considerate and loving boyfriend. She's lucky to have you. However, in saying that....It would be a blatant lie to say you dont care a lot about sex. We're men, its only natural to want sex from your partner. Let me ask you something. If this were a business transaction where you were expected to provide pay for the goods and products your whole saler provides...would you continue to pay them if they stopped providing you with products? No you would not. You would be upset that you wasted your time on such a venture and would promptly search for a new whole saler. I apologize for the crude analogy but as men we think logically snd transactionally at our core. If you wouldn't put up with an uneven trade anywhere else in life...why would you put up with it in one of the most important spaces in your life? A few weeks of not sex. Ok understandable. Maybe she's just stressed. However once we tread into months there is an issue. You my friend are 3 years deep and have had less action than the pope. At this point your lady is being selfish. Her body her choice? Ok fine. What about your body you choice? When does what you want get considered? If fine to not always get what you want but your situation is different. You are a beta male my friend. You lack confidence, conviction and an abundance mindset. You're so scared to rock the boat because you don't want her leaving you. You're scared to lose her and she knows it. You cant see yourself able to get another girl like her or better and its sad. You need to sack up and be a man.

[@ElderCreationist]

@@ryanmorgan9589 I'll tell you what to do brother. You sit down and talk with her like a man. You get down to the bottom of the problem. Tell her you wont stay in a sexless relationship. Its not fair to you or right. She is being entirely selfish. The same way she doesnt have to give it up. You dont have to put up with her not giving it up. This sounds harsh I know. But you need to wake up. Do you see what you just typed? 😕 3 years and only 15 times in bed. That isnt your girlfriend thats your roommate. Dont fall for that bullshit about sex not being everything. Women are very sexual creatures and its heightened after their periods. Studies show women to be just as sexually desiring as us. You honeslty think your woman isn't in the mood? Bullshit brother. Im gonna tell you the truth cause no one else clearly will. She is cheating on you. And has been a long time. And if she hasn't yet. She's thinking of it. "We havent always had bad times." "You dont know our relationship" whatever you might say it doesnt matter. What you described is a sexless and one sided relationship where you are the beta male provider. The emotional tampon she uses. Wake up. Leave her.

[@xbonniex1875]

Do you think it's ok if boyfriend or girlfriend initiates sex with the other when they are asleep ?

[@ib4296]

No thats rape ???? If they are like your partner maybe... and even then idk id make sure they are conscious like you can touch then while asleep but make sure they wake up then if they like it continue if not stop. Again only if this is your partner or yk they are comfortable with it. If its a hook up and they are sleeping DONT start groping them hahah

[@flossy6700]

No, there’s no consent.. so it’s rape, even if you’re in a relationship it’s still wrong on so many levels.

[@ib4296]

@@flossy6700 only way i think its right in a relationship is u u guys have previously have talked about it before that its okay

[@flossy6700]

@@ib4296 Well yes, but that’s consent

[@ib4296]

@@flossy6700 exactly lol thats why its the only way i think is right to have sex while theyre sleeping

[@laylav2494]

I just don’t want my husband to act like I’m a 12 year old boy or I’m raping him. Please help I don’t know what to do!!

[@geno5169]

Why not! What’s wrong that

[@geno5169]

What’s wrong with you acting like you’re 20? Again…

[@MrSpartacus895]

I. Guessing these guys don’t have children?

[@geno5169]

We have too girls

[@madisonevans8275]

They do not, they’re child-free

[@passthegravy7688]

My wife was in love with another man all during our marriage and sex was just a mechanical act.

[@tracykabara6996]

P

[@aidenbowlin6683]

Pay attention to the women's facial expressions sometimes she cringes at certain things

[@EnemyAce88]

1. I haven't had a memorable sexual encounter with my wife in years. 2. Whenever I try to give her compliments she just rolls her eyes and says "You're just trying to get me into bed." 3. I do this all the time, doesn't help. 4. Tried this too, doesn't work. See #2. 5. See #1. 6. This will just get me shot down even faster than trying to be subtle. 7. Nope.

[@elizabethmccoy2749]

Have you tried touching her in non sexual ways? Do you compliment her in general, and not just when you want to make love? Ex. Goodbye kisses or compliments on a new shirt she just bought ect. Maybe you guys can have an honest conversation about this issue because if you don’t talk it out, you’ll never know what’s wrong.

[@psychozen7169]

Walk into every divorce lawyer within a 100 miles radius and say your thinking about divorce. Find a male right lawyer hire them. Rip that band aid off. It not going to get better. Going into every lawyer office in 100 miles radius will make it harder for her to get a feminist lawyer. It will also make your divorced more amicable it what I tell all male that are in need of divorce looking for divorce. Would like to discuss my options.

[@hey6961]

Put your arms around her and kisss her shoulder and say wow you look so beautiful right now. But don’t do more unless she starts back like with a kiss than if she leans in for a kiss or something out your hands or hand on her face and either kiss her softly and mutter mmm wow like it’s your first time or if you don’t kiss and she goes in for something let it happen. Also if you want to turn things up, while she’s at the stove cooking, gently twirl her around and pull her close and be fun and romantic even if you aren’t romantic just having my man pull me in and grab my butt or touch my butt while we kiss or hold around my waist. Make it special again

[@geno5169]

⁠I compliment my wife ever! Telling her h beautiful she is or how beautiful she looks! And how much I love her! I try to give her kisses everyday! Telling how much I love her curves

[@khawajamazhar9188]

Ladies, don’t try to relax your partner, otherwise he will start to get “ frisky ideas”😅

[@matty8272]

I'm glad when my wife doesn't initiate or want sex as I don't get anything out it. I never initiate a fruitless activity.

[@geno5169]

Why in the world would wouldn’t her to have sex with you or you wanting her??

[@sussybaka8605]

Wow mate why u in a relationship then you get nothing out of that

[@matty8272]

​@@sussybaka8605 there is way more to a relationship than sex.